Any Given Moment
by njborba
Summary: At any given moment the lives of Derek Morgan and Emily Prentiss are full of ups and downs. Each chapter is an individual story.
1. Keeper

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

_**Any Given Moment** _is a new collection of stories much like my _Maze of Moments_ series. Each chapter will be its own story, though some may connect to one another. Some will be stories that follow up to my longer stories, and some will be new stand-alone stories. Please enjoy.

This first one is a holiday-themed follow-up to _Constant_.

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><p><strong>Keeper<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

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><p>Derek tried to be as quiet as possible as he keyed the lock, pushed the door in and dropped his go bag in the hall. He closed the door and headed for the stairs, easily finding his way through the darkened halls of their home. It had been Emily's condo before he came along, but it had become their home together with little Stella. At the top of the stairs he was torn as to who he wanted to check on first, his baby girl or the beautiful woman who was sure to be in bed this late at night.<p>

He settled on the baby first, knowing he'd then be able to snuggle up next to Emily and sleep until dawn.

The baby's room was dark except for the yellow shooting star nightlight plugged into an outlet across the room. It cast enough light for Derek to see there was no little one tucked into her crib. A smile spread across his face as he retreated and headed to his bedroom. He couldn't help recall the nights he'd slept in Emily's bed, her downstairs on the sofa. Or the first night they'd shared the bed, purely platonic until he'd woken with her head nestled against his chest.

Now he found her on her side of the bed with little Stella bundled on his side. The baby's eyes were open at half-mast and she cooed softly while wrestling against the blue and yellow blanket swaddled around her. Morgan shed his shoes and sunk down on the bed, one hand instantly placed against the baby's chest. He kissed her forehead. "Hello, little one," he whispered. "Did you keep mommy company while I was gone?"

Emily groaned, revealing herself to be awake. She turned to face them. "I thought we agreed not to call each other mommy and daddy," she was awake enough to roll her eyes at him.

A chuckle escaped his lips before he leaned forward and pressed them again Emily's. "Good to see you, too," Derek whispered.

"Missed you," she confessed.

His smile returned. "I'd never say it to your face like some people do."

"Good," she waged a tired finger at him before her hand came to rest against his on the baby's chest. "I won't let you forget."

"I'm sure," he nodded. His eyes slid down to the baby again. "Does she need a bottle or a change?" Derek inquired. "Or can I put her in her own bed so we can sleep?"

She rolled over to glance at the alarm clock. "I fed her a half hour ago, but she might need changing. I can do it," Emily offered.

"I'm already up. You stay put," Derek insisted. He spotted a few diapers and some wipes on the nightstand. Flipping on the light, Derek decided to check the baby's diaper where she was and then walk her to the room, hoping the rock-n-walk method would have her asleep by the time they reached her crib. Derek untangled her from the blanket and grinned at her outfit. "Emily, I think our daughter has been attacked by reindeer," he noticed the tiny fuzzy antlers on the footy part of her pajamas.

Something between a yawn and a laugh escaped Emily's throat "That would be one of several new outfits Garcia bought recently. You should see some of the other Christmas themed baby things she got for Stella. I never knew baby girl dresses could have so much glitter on them."

He laughed softly, managing to reach the girl's diaper. "A wet one," Derek noted, expertly removing and replacing it with a dry one. Nearly five months in and they were really starting to get the hang of parenting. At least the diapers and feeding part, which they figured was most important at Stella's development stage. With the girl changed and swaddled again, Derek held her in his arms. "Say goodnight to your Emily," he looked down at the half-asleep woman in bed. "I'm sorry, it just doesn't sound right not to call you mommy."

"Fine," Emily agreed. She closed her eyes fully, but couldn't help smile as she heard Derek begin to sing while he paced the long hallway. He performed a horrible rendition of: _Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star_. It was the one tune that always helped Stella fall sleep no matter who sang it, or how poorly.

This time it helped Emily nod off as well.

xxx

Emily could hear the baby's cries through the monitor near her head. It was stuffed under a pillow and still Stella could be heard loud and clear. She looked to the clock and was surprised to find that only an hour had passed since Derek had tucked the baby in. Comfy in Morgan's embrace for the first night in a week, the last thing Emily wanted was to get out of bed. But she knew Derek had been working a case for the last six days and was probably going to be dead to the world for several hours yet.

She was startled when his arm tightened about her waist as she tried to break free. "Let her cry," he mumbled against her ear.

"What?" Emily wasn't sure she'd heard him right.

He reluctantly gave in to the wakeful state of his body and moved his chin to rest against her shoulder. "She's almost five-months-old, she ate not too long ago and I changed her. Maybe we should let her cry it out for a while," Derek reiterated his suggestion.

"But, I…" she was hesitant to the idea.

"You what?" he prodded, still sleepy but more alert than a minute ago. "Plan to spoil her for the rest of her life?" Derek didn't let the question dangle long. "Which is what you do every time you instantly go to her when she cries," he concluded.

A defensive sigh left her lips, even though he was right. "And I suppose you carting her all over the place isn't helping to spoil her?" Emily countered. "She's never going to learn how to crawl or walk if you carry her everywhere."

"I don't get to spend as much time with her as you do. When I am home I want to keep her close," Derek countered. "So, yes, I probably am guilty of spoiling her, too. And the last thing I want to do right now is have a parenting argument with you. I'm tired and I missed you like crazy. I don't want to be upset with you."

Those words tugged at Emily's heart. She pressed her hand against his at her waist then brought it to her lips to kiss his sturdy, slightly rough fingers. "I'm sorry." Emily stayed in his embrace for several more minutes as Stella's cries continued to filter through the baby monitor. "I just can't, Derek. She's so little and I keep thinking about the silent promise I made to her when she was born, to always keep her safe."

Hearing a rare tone of vulnerability in her voice, he wavered. "Okay," his arms slacked. "Go to her." Derek watched her throw a robe on over her sleep shirt and dash for the door. "But if she can't walk into the classroom on her first day of school, you get to carry her," he warned in a playful voice.

He was almost asleep again when Emily rushed back into the room with the squalling baby in her arms.

"She's warm, Derek," Emily settled on the bed. Stella had no blanket now, just her fleece reindeer pajamas.

"Maybe she just needs lighter sleepwear," he suggested.

Emily unsnapped the pajamas and placed her hands against the girl's forehead. "I think it's more than that. A fever maybe? I took her out a few days ago. I know it was freezing, but I've been so cooped up in this place and…"

"Hey," Derek sat up. "Calm down," he could tell Emily wasn't just caught in a needlessly worried mommy moment. "Why don't you get the thermometer in her room and we'll check if there's anything to worry about." It quickly became clear she had no plans to let go of the baby so Derek got up and retrieved the thermometer. After softly pressing it against the baby's ear he realized they might have cause for concern. "101," he read. "Could it be teething?"

Her head shook. "Contrary to popular belief, fevers rarely have anything to do with teething." Emily finally passed the girl to Derek. "I'm calling that all night nurse's number at the hospital." She was already dialing before he could protest.

Derek cradled his daughter as he listened to Emily's one-sided conversation. Stella's dark hair was sweat-slick and clinging to her head. She'd stopped crying loudly, her lament petering out into a whimper that signified her discomfort. When Emily ended the call he could see confusion flicker in her eyes. "What?" he prodded.

"She doesn't seem that concerned," Emily revealed. "Apparently, if it is a cold then the fever is probably helping her fight it off. However, if Stella continues to be upset and can't sleep then the nurse said we should get her an over-the-counter fever reducer. I wrote some of the suggested ones down and I think we should go pick them up now in case Stella feels worse as the night progresses. There's that all night pharmacy on tenth."

He nodded. "So, you'll go and I'll stay with the baby."

Emily's eyes widened. "I don't want to leave her."

"Then I'll go and you stay with Stella," Derek was about to hand the baby off to her.

"No," her head shook. "What if something happens while you're gone and I don't know what to do? And what if you don't know what to buy?"

A deep breath was taken. "So I'll stay with her and you go," he repeated.

"What if something happens here and you don't know what to do?" Emily posed.

Morgan tried very hard not to laugh. "Why don't all three of us go," he concluded.

xxx

Derek parked the SUV. Neither one of them had been ready to dive into the mini-van driving life, at least not yet. They only had one kid; the SUV had plenty of room. He removed his seat belt and was about to exit the vehicle when Emily's hand clamped down on his left wrist. "You should stay in the car with the baby. I don't want her out in the cold even for the minute it will take to get inside the store."

"But you…" he stopped short, realizing that pointing out the fact he could've just stayed at home with the baby would be useless at this point. "Okay," Derek agreed.

She walked into the pharmacy knowing Derek probably thought she was nuts, but her mind quickly returned to the task at hand. Emily easily found the baby cold care section and was then confronted with more than just the two fever reducers the nurse had suggested. In fact there seemed to be dozens. With different flavors and dosage instruction. Emily began to rethink her ability to be a full-time mom as she struggled for ten minutes on what medicine to buy.

Emily ended up making her way to the checkout with five different varieties. "Better safe than sorry," she mumbled to herself as she approached the checker.

"Whoa," the checker shook her head, just standing there for a moment not scanning the items.

With narrowed eyes, Emily noticed the checker was a young woman; skinny with blonde hair and rainbow dyed bangs. "Something wrong?"

"You're like… in a bathrobe and your hair is all nasty," the girl replied, slowly scanning the first item.

The glare in Emily's eyes was aimed at the girl's colorful hair. "It is five days until Christmas, five days until my in-laws roll into town. And I've gotten a grand total of forty-five minutes of sleep tonight, if even that much," she snapped. "I have baby slobber and spit-up caked in my hair because I was too tired yesterday to bother showering, and my daughter is in the car right now with a fever, which is why I'm here at 2:30 in the morning in my robe. So… I suggest you stop judging and move a little faster, Rainbow Bright," Emily demanded.

"Sor…rry," the young woman drew out the word and finished the transaction.

Emily was miffed by the checker's attitude, but she forgot about the woman as soon as she exited the store. Back home, they checked Stella again to find that her temperature was the same. And she was still pretty cranky so they gave her medicine and a bottle and eventually rocked her back to sleep. Emily remained seated in the rocker in Stella's room while Derek leaned against the wall beside her. "Maybe we should get some rest, too?" he suggested.

"I don't want to leave her," Emily said. She was quiet for a long time after that.

"What's bothering you?" Derek finally asked, reaching out to run a finger along her cheek.

She shrugged. "Nothing… just worried about the baby. And your mom and sisters will be here in a few days. Unless you think we should call off Christmas because Stella's sick."

"I think Stella will be fine by Christmas," he assured. "And my mom's not going to miss her first Christmas even if Stella is still sick." Derek watched as those words had a dramatic effect on Emily. At least dramatic in a manner only he could notice. The subtle way her dark eyes narrowed and her lips formed a tiny pout. "Have you heard from your mother yet?"

Her head shook just an inch. No words were forthcoming.

"Em," he sighed, knowing he'd touched on the real cause of her bad mood. "It's her fault for not wanting to acknowledge Stella, not yours."

"You don't understand," she replied, but was reluctant to say any more. The room fell quiet again, aside from the slightly raspy breathing of their daughter. "Not a single word," Emily finally spoke again. "I sent her one of the birth announcements. And I sent her the holiday card a few weeks ago, with that picture of the three of us. And… nothing. Almost five months and she doesn't even bother to call."

Derek thought about the picture she'd mentioned. It was of him and Emily each kissing one of Stella's chubby cheeks, and the little girl radiating a joyful smile. Garcia had taken the picture at her Thanksgiving feast. It was hard to imagine anyone seeing that picture and not being moved by it. "I'm sure she's just…" but even Derek couldn't think of a viable reason why Emily's mother showed no interest in her daughter's life.

"I sent Harold Mallon and his wife one of the holiday cards with the same picture," Emily said. "His wife, Kay, sent us a card telling us how gorgeous Stella is. A complete stranger has the decency to reply, but not my mother."

His brows bunched for a moment. "Who are Harold and Kay Mallon?"

Emily frowned at him. "Harold, the beef jerky truck driver who rescued us outside of Erwin, Tennessee," she hoped to jog his memory.

He was instantly reminded of the shipping container Cavitch had sent them off in. "Right," Derek nodded. "That was really thoughtful of you to send them a card," he was once again reminded how wonderful she was, which didn't take much. He wished her mother could see that.

"I've been meaning to send him a thank you note for ages," Emily noted. "Christmas seemed like a good time to do it."

Even though their conversation had taken a slight turn, Derek could still see her mother's lack of contact was weighing on Emily's mind. "Maybe we should invite your parents to Christmas brunch?" he suggested. "If they say no then we can write them off for good," he tried to make a small joke of it.

"I just wish they weren't so judgmental," she growled, keeping her voice soft so as not to rouse the baby. "So… bigoted."

Derek's stomach churned. "You think this is all because of Stella and me being black?"

"What? No," Emily turned to face him. "No, Derek," she instantly squashed that idea. "My parents can be a pain in the ass, but I've never thought for a second it was because of that. They're diplomats, they've lived and worked with dozens of other races. They speak multiple languages," she continued to try calming his fears. "I think it has more to do with the fact that Stella is not my child. At least not biologically."

"That makes no sense," he did feel at ease over what she'd said about her parents not likely being bigoted about race. Derek had been reluctant to think that in the first place. "They know what happened when you were a teenager. They know you can't have a child naturally."

She chuckled dryly. "A little detail like me having a hysterectomy wouldn't stop my mother from wanting a biological grandchild."

His heart broke a little to think that was true. Derek loved how much his mother had made Emily a part of their family right from the start. And it hurt a great deal to know he might never get that from Emily's family. But it bothered him even more to know how much her parent's behavior was hurting Emily. "I'm sorry," he bent over to kiss her cheek and then her lips. "It's their loss," Derek insisted.

Emily squeezed his hand and nodded. Then she insisted Derek get some rest. After he agreed and slipped out of the room, she let herself doze off. She spent the rest of the morning in the rocking chair in Stella's nursery, sleeping off and on. That's where Derek found her the next morning. He kissed Emily's forehead and watched her stir.

"How is Stella?" she asked groggily.

Derek held the thermometer in his right hand. "99.3," he revealed. "Go get some sleep."

With little reluctance left, Emily stood and wobbled her way back to bed.

Hours later, Emily found Derek in the nursery with Stella in his arms. He looked up with a smile, noticing that her hair was matted to one side. "Her temperature is still hanging around 99," Derek reported. "And she's been sneezing, but still in much better spirits."

"Then it must just be a cold," Emily was relieved, placing her palm against the baby's forehead. "Guess I'm not the most horrible mother in the world for taking her out into the cold the other day," she shrugged.

"Not even close to being the worst mother in the world," Derek insisted. "There are at least a few dozen in line ahead of you," he chuckled. "But you might want to think about washing your hair someday… soon," he added.

She plucked Stella from his arms and then tossed something in his lap while she moved across the room to change the baby's diaper.

"What is this," he opened what appeared to be a card. Inside was a picture framed in red velvet paper. Derek's eyes lit up when he regarded the photo. Emily was seated on Santa's lap with Stella in her arms. The baby clothed in a frilly green and red dress, Emily with a red sweater on. "This is the best Christmas gift ever," he let her know.

Emily smiled. "Hopefully next year Stella will be willing to sit on Santa's lap by herself. I felt like an idiot. And apparently exposed our daughter to this cold."

He propped the picture on Stella's dresser then wrapped his arms around Emily's waist from behind her. "I think you sitting on Santa's lap is sexy as hell," Derek softly purred in her ear. "Maybe I can rent a Santa suit and you'll sit on my lap?"

"I'd sit on your lap even if you were naked," Emily teased. "_Preferably_ if you were naked."

"You know," Derek sighed, trying to calm his libido. "I can't wait till my mom gets here, because I am taking you away for at least a day so we can be alone."

She smiled. "Now that sounds like the best Christmas gift ever."

xxx

Two days before Christmas, Emily was wishing for that alone time with Derek even more than usual. But he was at work while she tried to look after a sick baby and bake cookies and wrap presents and blow up the inflatable mattress for Fran who would be bunking in the nursery. His sisters insisted on a hotel room, though, which was fine with Emily. She bounced Stella on her left hip as the baby rubbed snot all over Emily's shirt sleeve. Then she pulled out a sheet of sugar cookies only to find they were completely charred.

"Just five months ago I was chasing down bad guys with your daddy," Emily told the baby. "And I was good at that. Very good. Baking cookies… I am not good at. This being a domestic goddess business is way out of my league," Emily scoffed. "You're just lucky you're cute and look like your daddy, else I never would've given up chasing bad guys to change diapers."

The doorbell rang.

Emily's eyes lit up. "Maybe that's Martha Stewart, come to rescue me," she continued to speak to the baby. When she opened the door to find her mother standing there, her jaw nearly dropped. "That's not Martha Stewart, not by a long shot," Emily whispered to the girl in her arms.

"Hello," Elizabeth greeted.

It seemed such a simple word, but Emily found it hard to return. "Hello," she mustered with some effort.

"May I come inside?"

"Oh, right," Emily stepped aside allowing her mother entrance. As soon as she closed the door the smell of burnt cookies assaulted her nostrils again. "Sorry, there was a failed cookie experiment," she explained, leading her mother past the kitchen and into the living room. She sat on the sofa with Stella still clinging to her side while her mother took a seat on a chair across from them. Emily noticed a gift bag clutched in one hand. "Didn't expect to see you today."

Liz nodded. "Your father and I have been busy."

"Busy?" Emily mulled over that vague word. "You've been too busy to stop by for a few minutes to meet your granddaughter?" she snapped. "No, sorry, I probably shouldn't call her that. I doubt you want anything to do with her."

"That's not true," Elizabeth tried to smooth things over. "It's just difficult for me… for us… to…"

Biting down on harsher words, Emily filled in the blanks, "Hard for you to love a child that isn't genetically linked to me, or to you?"

Elizabeth felt sick. "That's what you think?" She sat silent for a moment. "Emily, your father and I like our work very much. The last few years have been difficult without diplomatic assignments for either of us. We wanted a child, wanted you, but we've never been very good at parenting. I assume you've already figured that out," she paused again. "I doubt we'll do much better at being grandparents, but not even trying is pretty pathetic don't you think? Especially since we've been given this chance we never thought possible."

It was not the explanation Emily had been expecting. "Yeah," she nodded.

"Well, I…" Liz held the gift bag out. "This is my first effort. A gift for the baby."

"Stella," Emily replied. "Her name is Stella."

"Yes, I know," her mother said. "I did read the birth announcement. And the Christmas card. The picture of the three of you was… it was lovely. Thank you."

Emily was inclined to think her mother had been replaced by an alien, but she tried to stuff down that silly thought as she looked inside the bag. With Stella still pressed to her side, she carefully pulled the gift free. Emily smiled at the item. "Look, Stella," she showed the girl the box.

"It's meant to hang on the crib," Liz explained. "I've never seen one before but the lady at the store said they're perfectly safe. It lights up and plays a song."

"Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star," Emily read on the side of the box. "It's great. She loves that song. We sing it to her a lot. Thank you, mother."

Liz smiled. "With her name and your love of stars, I figured it might be okay. I wasn't sure what to get. Kid's things have changed a lot since you were little. And the nanny usually bought most of your things," she confessed. Her eyes settled on Stella and she smiled again. "Do you think I could hold her."

"Um," Emily froze for a moment. She was still a bit stymied by the fact her mother knew she loved stars. "Yeah, sure," she remained hesitant, but figured it was worth a try. After setting the box down, Emily encouraged her mother to move to the sofa so she'd be closer. With that accomplished, she handed the baby over.

The older woman held Stella at arm's length for a moment. She then pulled her closer so the baby was against her chest. That's when Stella decided to sneeze.

Emily bit her lip, watching the snot trailing from her daughter's nose. "I'm sorry," she sprang to her feet and grabbed a burp cloth. "She caught a cold a few days ago, but she's much better now. I should've warned you, though," Emily wiped Stella's nose and then did her best to clean the snot off her mother's navy blazer. "Great one, kiddo. Destroy your grandmother's clothing the first time you meet her."

"It's no worse than what's dried on your sleeve," Liz pointed out.

Glancing at the stiff hem of her t-shirt sleeve, Emily actually laughed. Even with her botched cookies, a sick baby and an awkward visit from her mother, she was in good spirits. "They don't tell you about becoming a human snot rag when you take a baby home from the hospital," she remarked.

A laugh escaped Liz's mouth. "No, they don't." She watched her daughter take the baby and continue to clean the child's nose. "You're very good with her. When I heard you'd given up your career to raise another woman's child I was worried about you. But this seems to come natural to you."

"She's still breathing," Emily shrugged. "I take that as a good sign."

"No," Liz put a hand against her daughter's forearm. "Do not doubt yourself, Emily. I can see that you're already a better mother than I ever was."

Not sure how to take those words, Emily shrugged again. "It still freaks me out some days," she confessed. "I was good at my job chasing down serial killers. But I'm almost always afraid of doing something wrong in regard to Stella. Feeding her too much, or too little. Dropping her," she chuckled. "But…" her thoughts turned darker. "What scares me most is that she'll grow up some day and wish her real mom was the one raising her."

"I doubt that will happen," again Liz tried to be a comfort.

And Emily found she was reassured. "What about the day she asks what happened to Tamara? What do I tell her then?"

"I suppose the truth," Elizabeth replied.

Emily nodded, taking a deep breath. "Derek's mom and sisters are coming for Christmas," she informed her mother, desperate to change the subject to something lighter. "They'll be here tomorrow morning, hence the reason I'm trying to Martha Stewart up the joint. And failing miserably," she admitted. "Anyhow, Derek and I would really like you and dad to come for Christmas brunch. If you want to."

Liz nodded. "I'd like that."

xxx

Emily stood at the edge of her living room, watching over her family Christmas afternoon. Fran and Derek's sisters were huddle together on the sofa, relaxed, eating cookies and sipping tea. They all seemed perfectly happy with the store bought cookies she'd purchased after her failed baking experiment. She was brought back to the scene before her at the sound of her father's laugh. It seemed almost foreign to her. He was always outspoken, but laughter had been rare in their house.

Her eyes settled on Stella who was seated on Liz's lap.

The little girl leaned against her grandmother's arm and was staring up at the woman, seemingly mesmerized. Even more wonderful was the look of adoration in her mother's eyes while gazing at the baby. Emily quickly grabbed the point and shoot digital camera that was resting on a nearby table. She stepped toward the crowd just a little, not wanting them to notice her. Emily aimed, focused and snapped the picture. Her mother and Stella remained oblivious, still caught in their moment.

"That one is a keeper," Derek said as his arms snaked about her waist and he glanced at the picture on the camera screen.

She gave a quick nod, relaxing against him. "Funny," Emily replied. "That's what I say about you all the time."

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><p><strong>The End<strong>


	2. Perfect

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

Note: This story is part of the _Constant_ series.

* * *

><p><strong>Perfect<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

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><p>Emily looked out the window, gazing at the vista beyond; bright city lights shining against a dark sky. "It's kind of strange staying at a hotel in DC," she aimed the words over her right shoulder toward the bathroom where Derek was behind a closed door. "I think I can almost see our apartment building from up here," she added.<p>

"But there's no baby with us," he called through the door, "Which is the whole point of getting away."

She smiled; glad to finally be alone with him for the first time in many months. That didn't stop her from worrying, though. "Do you think Stella will sleep all right? We've never left her with someone overnight. You know she likes us to sing her to sleep. And what if she gets another fever or something?" her doubts grew. "I never should have left her. She isn't really over that cold yet and she's still so little..."

"Please stop worrying," Derek pleaded with her, still shuffling around in the bathroom. "Stella is fine. Her cold is mostly gone. My mom is with her, and you told her about the singing at bed time. Sarah and Desi are down the street at their hotel. Your mom and dad are across town. Garcia, JJ, the pediatrician and the 24 hour nurse hotline numbers are all on the speed dial list. And we're only a few blocks away, as you already noticed."

"I'm a mother now, it comes with the job description to worry," she reminded him.

The bathroom door opened. "It's New Year's Eve, Emily. And you're going to relax whether you like it or not."

Silence filled the room for a brief moment until Emily doubled over in laughter at the sight of Derek in a Santa hat, fake white beard and nothing else but a towel around his waist.

"Not exactly the reaction I had in mind," Morgan frowned as he walked toward her.

"I'm sorry," Emily tried to stifle her laughter. "You just look so… stupid." She instantly felt bad for saying that and quickly tried to cover. "And adorable."

His nose scrunched a little in response to the adorable comment. "I was going for sexy Santa," Derek said, slowly making his way toward the window where Emily was still standing. "I'm feeling very jolly," he arched his brows, hands going to her hips, pulling her close. "And I recall you saying you'd like to sit on Santa's naked lap."

Emily allowed herself to be sucked into his fantasy land. It was completely ridiculous, but they needed a bit more ridiculousness in their lives. "Santa, Christmas was six days ago. Aren't you supposed to be back at the North Pole?" she asked.

Derek shook his head before he kissed her neck. "I'm already making my naughty and nice list for next year," he said between kisses. "So, have you been nice or naughty?"

Her fingers played with the edge of his towel. "What if I've been naughty?"

"Then you'll get a lump of coal in your stocking," he warned.

That elicited another laugh from her. "And if I've been a very… _very_ good girl?"

He grinned, slowly removing the towel. "In that case, I think you'll like what you find in your stocking."

She glanced down to see the towel pooled at his feet and a sock encasing a very enticing looking piece of his anatomy. "I think you're right, Santa," Emily agreed with another spurt of laughter that quickly turned to desire as she captured his lips with her own.

xxx

Several hours later they were curled up together in the hotel bed, crisp, white cotton sheets draped across their slightly sore but satiated bodies. Moonlight spilled across the room, their window curtains still wide open. Emily rested her head and left hand against Derek's chest, glad that he'd quickly shed his Santa costume, what little of it there'd been. She still wasn't sure she'd ever be able to look at a Santa in the same way again.

"Did you enjoy Christmas?" Emily asked.

"Very much," he yawned. "And I'm glad no one caught Stella's cold."

Her agreement came with a nod. "That's because I infused our Christmas brunch quiche with Vitamin C and Echinacea."

Derek chuckled. "Is that right? Because I could've sworn Hansen's Deli doesn't put those ingredients in their breakfast quiches."

Emily wore a sheepish grin. "Figured that out, huh?"

"Not much gets by me," he boasted.

"Do you think Stella had a good Christmas?" her thoughts returned to the holiday. "I know she's just a baby and won't remember any of it. But I still wanted it to be perfect for her."

"There's no such thing as perfect, Emily. But it was wonderful, even with store bought cookies and deli quiche," he assured her. Derek kissed the top of her head. "You took on a lot this year. Starting with me, and extending to Stella. I know it hasn't been easy for you," he acknowledged. "And I don't think I thank you enough for everything you do," he added, craning his neck a little to give her a proper kiss on the lips. Morgan settled back against his pillow. "Next year you can focus on becoming a better cook," he teased.

She slapped his chest, though not too hard. "Very funny." Emily noticed a pinprick of light outside the window. It wasn't red, flashing or moving so she guessed it was a star. "It's almost the New Year," she whispered.

"Have you made any resolutions?" Derek inquired.

"Not exactly."

He shot her a curious look. "How about you resolve to have sex with me every night for the whole year?" he suggested.

"You wish," she chuckled. Emily appreciated his humor. It helped her not worry about Stella being out of their sight all night. But there were other more serious thoughts spinning about in her head. "I have been thinking about something I'd like for the New Year," Emily revealed. "I think I'd like to have Stella baptized."

Derek turned to his side so he could face her. "Really?"

She nodded. "It's weird, right? I mean, we were both baptized as babies, but our faith wavered at some point." Emily knew when she began to question hers, same as Matthew; not long after the abortion and her parents' disappointment. She could only guess that Derek began to question things the first time Carl Buford laid a hand on him. The thought of Stella ever being hurt in such a way tore her heart open. She really did want the girl to have some basis of faith.

"What brought this on?" he questioned. "We've never talked about it. And it's not like we go to church or anything."

"I have been," Emily revealed.

Morgan's eyes widened. "When?"

"I've taken Stella to St. Andrews a few times when you're out of town. That's Father Davison's parish, Rossi's friend," she explained. "We've never gone to an actual mass service or anything. Sometimes I'll light a candle for you when I'm worried about the case you're on. Once I walked Stella around the Stations of the Cross. I don't know why, I just…"

He watched her hesitate. Derek ran a hand gently along her shoulder. "I'm not upset. Just curious."

"Five months ago when Jessop took Stella and me, I did my best to protect her," Emily began again. "And I know you and the team did everything you could to find us. But, it felt like there was someone else watching over us. Maybe," she still wasn't certain of her feelings about that whole ordeal. "I do know that Stella being in our life is a miracle. Maybe not like the ones I used to read about as a kid at my Catholic schools, but…" Emily sighed realizing she wasn't making much sense.

Morgan kissed her palm. "I've had that same feeling," he confessed.

A smile worked its way upon Emily's face. "So much for telling each other everything."

"We just did," Derek forgave them both.

"What do you think about the baptism?" she pressed a little.

"I'm not against it," the words surprised him. "I'm just not sure we can. It requires professions of faith, and the ability and desire to guide Stella in that faith. I'm not sure I really feel up to the task," he honestly relayed his doubts.

She nodded. "Father Davison told me he was willing to perform the service for Stella, despite our reservations, which I've voiced to him. He even said he'd perform the service any time we want. And I was actually thinking about tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Derek asked. "As in, the day after today?"

"Well, the day after tomorrow, which is almost today," Emily bit her lip. "Your mom and sisters are leaving on the third and I'd really like them to be here for it. It would just be a small service, your family and mine. The BAU gang," she stressed their involvement. "Oh, and we'd have to pick god parents. I imagine you'll want Garcia."

His mind was spinning for a moment as she made the plans. "Actually, I'd like to ask Sarah or Desi. But how do I pick one?"

"How about both of them," Emily suggested. "Neither one of us is exactly a poster child for tradition, so ask them both."

"Then we'll just have Sarah and Desi, two godmothers? No godfather?"

Emily chewed her bottom lip. "Actually, I did have someone in mind for the godfather position. But you might not like it."

A noisy boom interrupted their conversation. Both heads turned toward the large window where they could see a fireworks display going on across the river.

"It must be midnight already," Derek easily guessed as another round of fireworks exploded. Red, yellow and silver streaks of light filled the dark sky for a few seconds and then dissolved. "Beautiful," he whispered. "But not as beautiful as you," his lips found Emily's again.

xxx

On the second day of the New Year, Derek and Emily stood inside St. Andrews church surrounded by their closest friends and family. Sarah and Desiree wore simple skirts and blouses that they'd brought for the trip, not expecting to attend a surprise Baptism. They each also wore happy grins, proud to have been chosen by their brother as special guardians to his daughter. Between them stood a man who looked a bit out of place with baby Stella in his arms.

Mick Rawson held the fancily dressed child. His own attire consisted of dark jeans and a decently white button up shirt.

Emily squeezed Derek's hand as they stood across from the others at the Baptism font. She was glad he hadn't balked at the idea of Mick being Stella's godfather. In fact, Derek seemed glad of the idea. Though she guessed he was more nervous than anything at the moment as she felt his palm sweating against hers. She gave it another reassuring squeeze as Father Davison looked to them for a sign that he should start.

The service didn't last long, Father Davison keeping his words to a minimum. "Now, if parents and godparents would bunch in closer," he instructed.

Rawson held the baby over the font with a near iron-clad grip, carefully trying to keep her white gown from getting wet. Stella's eyes were closed, asleep, and blissfully unaware of anything going on around her. "I'd like for all five of you to lay a hand on the child," Davison asked of them. When it was done, he looked to Emily and Derek. "Is it your will that Stella be baptized into the Catholic faith of St. Andrews parish?"

"It is," they replied together.

Davison smiled as he dipped a small silver cup into the holy water font. "I baptize thee, Stella Francine, in the name of the Father," he doused the child's forehead. "The Son," he repeated the action. "And the Holy Spirit," he concluded with one last blessing of holy water. "Amen."

Everyone else echoed the word, "Amen."

After Davison dried the baby's head with a cloth he turned to those gather. "I believe Emily would like to say a few words," he invited her to do so.

Still clutching Derek's hand, she turned to face the others. "I'm not one for speeches," Emily began. "I just wanted to say that Derek and I wished all of you could be godparents," her gaze flit from Garcia to Reid, JJ to Hotch and Rossi. "Aside from the grandparents," she looked to Fran and her parents. "But we decided three was enough. However, it is our hope that you will all become mentors, aunts, uncles and whatnot in her life. With Derek and me as her parents you know she's going to need all the help she can get."

Everyone laughed, which set Emily at ease. "Thank you all for being here to celebrate the birth of our little star."

There were some cheers, a little clapping, a few handshakes and several hugs exchanged. Then Rawson cleared his throat. "Not to be unkind, because she was a doll and slept through the whole service, but I do have to mention that your little star is rather stinky at the moment," he announced.

More laughter filled the church.

Emily was about to step forward and take the baby when she noticed Desiree's left hand pressed against Mick's forearm. And she couldn't help overhear their conversation. "Have you ever changed a diaper?" Desiree asked the man.

"No," his head shook with a mixture or regret and sorrow. "I never got that chance," Mick replied.

Desiree guided him toward the diaper bag that was resting on a front pew. "It's not hard," she assured him with a warm smile. "I'll help you."

Morgan remained glued to Emily's hand as they both watched over the rest of their loved ones. JJ and Will were chatting with Emily's parents. Rossi and Reid carried on a conversation with Fran and Sarah while Desiree helped Mick change Stella's diaper. Hotch gently scolded Henry and Jack for racing around the pews, but Father Davison didn't seem overly concerned about their behavior, saying something about boys being boys.

"What do you think about Desiree and Mick?" Emily leaned against Morgan's side.

With a questioning raise of his eyebrows, Derek looked over at her. "How so?"

"You know," she nodded toward the two changing Stella's diaper. "If they were to date or something."

"I… uh…" he stammered for a second. "Are they dating?"

She grinned. "Calm down, I don't even know if they like each other." Emily couldn't help imagine how guarded he was going to be when Stella became old enough to date. "I know you said there was no such thing as perfect, but I'd say this moment comes pretty close. Enjoy it with me," she implored.

Derek kissed her hand. "I am."

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	3. Twins

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

* * *

><p><strong>Twins<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>Derek flopped down onto the bed. He laid there for a moment, unable to move his arms or legs, staring at the ceiling. "I'm pretty sure I've never been this tired before," he whispered to the woman beside him. "Not even after a three day stake-out. Not even after tracking an UnSub for a week, through the woods, on foot, barefoot," he rambled. "How can two little babies make me feel this way? This tired? This unbelievably inept?"<p>

"Are they asleep?" was all Emily asked, eyes still closed.

His head shook. "Nope," he replied, feeling utterly defeated. "But at least they've stopped crying." Morgan finally found an ounce of strength. He used it to curl up beside his wife. "And I put them in the crib together so maybe they'll do their womb bonding thing and fall asleep together," he whispered, draping an arm across her body.

She moved his arm so it wasn't so close to her chest. "Why were they crying?"

"Messy," he sighed. "Our girls are so completely identical that they even poop in unison. It could be the next big thing at the winter Olympics; synchronized pooping."

"I think that's a summer Olympics sport," Emily drowsily responded.

Morgan laughed. "We are so sleep deprived," he groaned.

"You think?"

He buried his head against her shoulder and moved his arm up her body again. "I missed you last week." Derek kissed her cheek then her neck.

"Are you kidding me?" Emily pushed his arm down again. "You just told me you were completely tired."

"True," Morgan agreed. "But we haven't had sex in… forever."

"That's because I gave birth to two babies eight weeks ago. Not one, two. And my boobs are so huge and sore and they leak every time Hannah or Grace cries, even if they're only messy. And I've been taking care of them for the last two weeks on my own and there is no way I'm having sex again for…" she trailed off.

Waiting for her to continue, Derek gently kissed her neck again. "Emily?" he tried to prod her, wondering just how long it would be before he'd have sex again. "Em?"

Only a soft snore greeted him.

xxx

"Look who wanted to visit mommy?"

Emily groaned and tried to bury her head beneath her pillow. Derek's voice sounded so chipper she wanted to slap him. She felt the bed depress to the left and knew Derek had not taken the hint to leave her alone. The pillow was removed from her head and she snuck a peek. A small smile bloomed to see Derek with a baby in each arm. The girls were each wearing a red and white outfit that she didn't recognize. Their pinkish-white skin stood out against Derek's bronze arms.

"How can you be so awake?" she finally spoke, pushing back the comforter and sitting up.

"I slept for three hours straight," Morgan beamed. "I feel amazing. Someone should really bottle sleep so we could drink it."

She chuckled softly as he placed the girls down on the bed. They lay cuddled against one another, brown eyes wide open, their hands almost clasped. They both had a shock of dark hair that grew to the left and perfectly pink lips. Emily glanced at the blue-haired looking creatures on their bellies. "Where did you find those outfits?"

He grinned. "Picked them up at the airport last week. I almost forgot they were in my travel bag. Aren't they great?" Derek placed a hand against one of the babies. "It's from Dr. Seuss. Grace is Thing One because she was born first, and Hannah is Thing Two for second born. An excellent way to tell them apart, right?"

"Uh…" Emily frowned. "I'll just overlook the fact that you're referring to our children as things. But," she pointed to the baby he'd called Grace. "This is Hannah, and," her hand waved at her Thing Two child. "That's Grace."

Derek stared at the girls for a moment. "No, I don't think so."

"I'm their mother, Derek. I know my babies."

His head shook just a little. "No offense, because you've been doing an outstanding job with the girls, but I think you're wrong."

Doing her best not to pick a fight, Emily took a deep breath. "Why do you believe you're right?"

"Because Hannah has slightly bigger eyes than Grace," he quickly replied. "I noticed that the second they were born."

"I doubt anyone remembers the moment they were born better than me," a slightly terse edge entered her tone. "And their eyes are exactly the same size," Emily countered. "Their eye color is the same; their hair grows the same way… everything about them is the same. That's what happens when you have identical twins."

Morgan remained steady. "Okay, super mom, what makes you sure you're right?"

"Because," she let out an exasperated sigh. "Because…" Emily ran a hand over each of the babies' wrists. "Did you give them a bath last night?"

"Yeah," he answered. "What does that have to do with anything?"

Emily bit her lip. "They had tiny marks on their wrists that I made with permanent marker. H and G," she looked at him with guilty eyes.

"Ah ha!" Derek pointed a finger at her. "You couldn't tell them apart either."

Glancing at the babies again, Emily sagged. "Okay, you win. I have no idea how to tell the difference between Hannah and Grace."

"Well, crap," Morgan's superior feeling faded in an instant. He didn't ponder the question for long, jumping up and rushing out of the room. After a quick trip downstairs, Derek returned to the room. He found Emily still seated on the bed in front of the girls, and he thought he saw the hint of a tear welled in her left eye. "All right, this is what we do," he sat beside her again and brandished the marker he'd retrieved. "G for Thing One, Grace. H for Thing Two, Hannah."

"But," she watched as he made the small marks on each girl's wrist. "What if that's not right?"

"It's right, at least it is as of now," he desperately hoped she'd go along with it.

Not sure if she should laugh or cry, Emily slowly nodded her agreement. "In a few months I'm sure they'll start to reveal their personalities and we'll be able to tell them apart, and we won't need the marks any more. You just have to promise that we never tell them this happened. Deal?"

"Deal," Derek agreed.

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	4. System

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

* * *

><p><strong>System<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>Derek walked purposely up the stairs, always in a hurry to greet his three favorite ladies upon arriving home after a case.<p>

Some days he still missed having Emily at the BAU to work the cases with him, but he admired her a great deal for wanting to stay home with their twins. The girls had been a huge surprise, especially considering he and Emily had only been casually dating at the time and had only had sex exactly one time. But apparently a late-in-life hormonal surge, coupled with a broken condom, had contributed to Emily's fertility and them becoming the proud parents of identical twin girls.

And even though the quickie wedding and birth of the girls had been trying at times, Derek wouldn't change a thing about their life.

He headed for the nursery upon reaching the second floor, but instead of his baby girls he found his wife seated in the middle of the green and purple room. "Where are the junior Morgan's?" he inquired, kneeling beside Emily to kiss her cheek.

"Sleeping in the bassinet in our room," her answer was a bit distracted as she barely responded to his kiss or even his presence.

Morgan glanced about the floor. It appeared that all of twins' baby clothes were lying in stacks around Emily. "Laundry day?" he asked. He knew the girls could go through a lot of outfits in a short amount of time, but the mountains he saw now seemed a bit much.

"No, this is my new system," Emily replied, still distracted as she folded and placed things in order according to color. "Actually, I'm glad you're here because I can explain it to you before I put everything away. I finally figured out a system to tell the girls apart based on the colors they wear. Hannah will have pink, yellow and green. Grace will wear only purple, blue and orange," she declared with a triumphant grin.

An amused smile formed as he settled himself down on the floor closer to Emily. He couldn't help adore her neurotic tendencies, especially when it came to the girls. "In that case, Gracie is my new favorite daughter."

She finally turned her attention to him, wearing a frown. "How could you pick a favorite?"

Derek chuckled. "Purple is a Northwestern University color. Blue and orange are the Chicago Bears' colors," he concluded.

Her eyes rolled at him, but she leaned in to give him a proper welcome home kiss, their lips melting against one another. She'd been extremely nervous taking on the full-time care of not one, but two, infant girls. But Emily had grown to enjoy her motherhood role. She liked it even better, though, when Derek was home with all of them. When she pulled away a second later, Emily smiled again. "At least you'll remember the color system."

His head nodded then he got to his feet and reached a hand down to help Emily up. "Come on, I want to see all my girls together." He glanced at the clothing mess again. "And I'm pretty sure you need a break from this crazy project of yours."

Emily willingly took his hand and stood. "I do," she agreed.

With hands clasped, Derek led her to their room.

xxx

It was Friday and, even though Derek had just returned from a long case, he still had to head into work and face a desk littered with reports. But his spirits were buoyed that afternoon by a knock at his office door. He would've even welcomed it being Garcia with the announcement of a new case if it meant he could stop doing paperwork. As the door slowly cracked open, his mood was further brightened as he recognized the stroller he and Emily had spent months agonizing over, and which he was certain cost more than his first car.

"This is a surprise," he happy greeted his wife with a quick kiss before holding the door so she could push the gray and pink stroller all the way inside his office.

"The girls officially turned twelve weeks old today," Emily grinned proudly. "I thought we should stop by to celebrate," she declared. "Of course it took me about two hours of preparation just to get them dressed, pack the diaper bag and situate them in the car by myself," she admitted.

Derek flashed a sympathetic look her way as he glanced down at the girls who both appeared to be sleeping. "You should've told me, I would've helped you prepare this morning."

Her head shook. "But then it wouldn't have been a surprise." Emily watched as baby Grace's eyes opened. The little girl grimaced and then spit up a stream of milky substance. Emily, unfazed by the messes anymore, grabbed a wipe from the diaper bag and cleaned the girl's chin. "I also planned to bring you lunch, but I forgot," she relayed to her husband.

Derek kissed her cheek again. "Not to worry. That's why they have delis where people work. We can eat downstairs, and then I'll help you feed the girls before you take off," he suggested, glad they were bottle feeding now so he could help out and also enjoy that bonding experience with his daughters. "But first," his eyes glanced to the twins again. "Can we show them off in the bullpen?"

Emily chuckled softly, loving how proud and happy he was about their family. "You've been waiting for that, haven't you?"

He nodded. "Pictures just don't do their cuteness justice," Derek beamed.

"So true, there's nothing cuter than spit-up," she quipped while waving a hand toward the door. Emily walked by his side as Derek steered the stroller into the bullpen. Heads instantly turned their way as they often did when faced with the twin stroller. She'd only taken them to the hospital, grocery store and the park once or twice, but inevitably people were drawn to and fascinated by the presence of twins.

"Emily!" Garcia chirped. The exuberant woman had been leaning against JJ's desk but now strode a path toward her friend. Her arms wrapped about the older woman. "It's so good to see you," Penelope intoned.

A happy smile spread across Emily face, pleased that someone cared about seeing her when the girls were present. She'd often felt invisible in their presence before. "I just saw you last week when you dropped those dresses off for the girls," Emily laughed, hugging her friend in return. "But it's good to see you again," she agreed. Within minutes she'd received two more hugs, one each from JJ and Reid.

Hotch and Rossi trickled out of their offices upon hearing the small commotion that Emily and the twins' arrival had created. Even Anderson had crowded around the stroller to catch a close-up peek of the twins who had both fully woken upon Garcia's excited squeals. "I hate not seeing you here every day," JJ said to Emily as she admired the girls.

"I feel the same," Emily agreed. The two friends had vowed to get together as often as possible after Emily had left the BAU. But it was difficult working around the BAU's crazy schedule and three kids between them. "Maybe we can have lunch this Saturday?" Emily suggested, "If my husband is around to babysit."

JJ smiled. "I'll get mine to babysit, too," the profiler nodded her agreement. "We'll have kid-free lunch like grownups."

"So…" Reid crouched down beside the stroller. "Which one is Hannah, and which one is Grace?" he asked. "I don't know how you can tell, unless you fingerprinted them every day. Even identical twins have different fingerprints," he rambled.

"Grace," Emily pointed to the back section of the stroller. "And Hannah," her finger moved to the front.

Derek grimaced as he realized something he hadn't noticed earlier. He leaned into his wife and whispered in her ear. "Um, Em… are you sure about the girls? One is wearing green and the other pink. I thought those were both Hannah's colors in your new system."

Emily promptly examined her daughters to realize he was correct. "Oh, hell…" she whispered. "It was really late and I was so tired when I finally put their clothes away last night." Her eyes slid a glare toward Morgan. "Since someone got frisky with me after the girls fell asleep."

"Well, I'm sorry, but our friskiness has been very much lacking recently," his tone was still a whisper as he shrugged innocently. "What about this morning when you were dressing them? Didn't you notice the color issue then?"

She sighed. "You've dressed them before, two wriggly little babies… color wasn't exactly the most important thing on my mind."

"True enough," he agreed. "But then… what was the point of your whole system?"

A shrug was her first respond, voice still low as she spoke. "It gave me something to obsess over for a few hours."

He chuckled. "I'm sure it's okay," Derek tried to calm her as he saw the worried creases form across her forehead, knowing she wasn't as upset about their union the night before as she was about the possibility of getting the girls mixed up again. "They still have the marks on their wrists. We'll sort it out later," he assured her.

Her face paled. "I gave them both baths this morning," her hushed voice replied. "I washed them away again," Emily revealed as one baby began to cry.

"Emily's right," JJ spoke up as she went to lift the fussy baby out of the back seat. She expertly rocked the little girl, giving her friend a much needed mommy break. "I remember the last time I saw them Hannah scrunched up her nose just like she's doing now," she pointed out to the others that the crying baby had her little nose all bunched.

"Of course Emily's right," Garcia defended. "What kind of mother would get her babies mixed up?"

A slightly strangled burst of laughter escaped Emily's lips. "Not me," she nearly choked on the words, knowing they were a lie.

Morgan squeezed her hand in support. "See, you knew all along even without a system," he tried to boost her confidence while also trying desperately not to laugh.

She was far from laughing. "Don't tell JJ this…" Emily's voice was soft again, for his ears only, "But both girls scrunch their noses up like that from time to time, whether they're crying or not," she informed her husband. "Which means, I really screwed up this time."

"Well, crap," he lamented with her. "Couldn't they at least have non-identical personalities by now," Derek groaned.

Reid caught the last part of what his friend and co-worker had said. "Did you know that certain genetic characteristics of identical twins can often grow even more alike as they age? Things like IQ and personality. I guess that would make it even more difficult to tell them apart, wouldn't it?"

Emily shook her head knowing they were back to not having a clue how to tell their daughters apart. "We never tell them about this either, promise?" she whispered.

Derek nodded. "Promise."

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	5. Identity

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

* * *

><p><strong>Identity<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>Derek held the front door open for his wife and daughters as they entered the house.<p>

Their first born by twelve minutes, Grace, dropped her duffle bag by the door and headed straight for the kitchen. Her tall, lean form took only a few quick strides to reach the refrigerator. Deft fingers opened the fridge as her dark pony tail swept across her shoulders. Equally dark brown eyes surveyed the contents of their fridge before she finally removed a single serve yogurt container and the large plastic carton of orange juice.

"Don't fill up, you'll ruin your dinner," Emily warned Grace.

The teenager rolled her eyes. "Mom, I just played three games of soccer this afternoon. I could eat a horse right now and not be full."

"Okay, but we're meeting JJ, Will and Henry in about an hour for all-you-can-eat pizza at Sellas," Emily informed the star athlete in their family.

"Sweet!" Grace wrapped one arm about her mother's shoulder and kissed her cheek. "You're the best mom in the world."

Emily shared a smile with Derek as he plucked a glass from the cupboard and stole some orange juice from Grace. "Only when I'm feeding you," Emily noted in a spirited manner. She caught a glimpse of her slightly younger twin, Hannah. The girl resembled Grace almost exactly except for their hair. Grace had been highlighting hers since the beginning of high school. Hannah wore her dark brown locks much longer, and usually in one hefty braid that hit her mid-back. "Want some juice?" she offered Hannah.

"Please," Hannah nodded, pulling her eyes away from the book in her hands for a brief second.

As she poured the juice, Emily couldn't help recall the times she and Derek often referred to their twins as juniors. Hannah being Emily junior, the bookworm. And Grace, the family jock, as Derek junior. But even with those distinct differences the girls were similar in so many other ways. Both had been receiving good grades since kindergarten. Each had inherited their mother's sarcastic nature and their father's rough and tumble demeanor.

The four of them drank their juice and talked animatedly about their sunny afternoon at Grace's soccer tournament.

"You played great out there today, Gracie," Derek was always proud of his girls no matter what.

"We won two games, lost one," Grace recounted. "At least we're going to state next weekend," she grinned.

"It's not about who wins or loses," Emily began.

"It's about how you play the game," the twins spoke in unison, having heard the same line from their mother a million times.

Emily looked to Derek for some moral support. He chuckled. "It's okay that you weren't good at sports as a kid, Em," his sympathetic tone was somewhat mocking.

"I hope we at least take third at state this year," Grace jumped in again. "Fourth place last year was so crushing."

Hannah rolled her eyes at her sister's comment. "You were only a freshman last year and you did great," she tried to cheer her sister as the two of them often did. The girls were extremely close and supportive of one another.

"Thanks," Grace grinned. "Oh…" she was off again, being the heavier talker of the twins. "Nicole, our team captain, she told me that she thought I was good enough to maybe be the team's MVP this year. She said no sophomore has ever done that." Her bright mood down shifted a little with a shrug. "But maybe she's being kind. I know it would be her for sure if she hadn't broken her ankle last month," Grace concluded.

"Well, you'll always be an MVP in my eyes, Gracie," Emily responded.

The teenager rolled her eyes. "God, mom… could you be any lamer?" Grace chuckled. She downed the last of her juice and tossed her empty yogurt container in the trash. "I really need a shower," she announced. "Han, you wanna pick out outfits for tonight's pizza feast?" her brows raised in a questioning manner.

Hannah snatched up her book. "Definitely," she followed her sister up the stairs.

"Even for all their differences, they do adore clothes, don't they?" Derek remarked as he rinsed out the remaining juice glasses. When he didn't receive a response from his wife right away Morgan flashed a questioning gaze her direction. "What's up?" he asked, seeing the wheels in her head turning.

"Do you think I'm lame?" Emily pondered.

His eyes crinkled with delight. Derek took her hands in his and kissed her on the lips. "You definitely have your lame mom moments at times, but I don't think I'm ready to take you out back and put you down just yet."

"Shut up," she swatted his shoulder and tried to pull away.

Derek held her even closer, kissing her cheek and then her neck. "You're still the sexiest lame-mom I know," he whispered.

"It's creepy how much of a turn on that is to hear," she reluctantly admitted with a small chuckle. Emily kissed him back, their lips meeting again in a gentle and familiar union. Still she felt a little tingle in her stomach every time they kissed. "So, do you think the girls are dressing up for the pizza part of our meal, or the part in which they get to see Henry?"

"Ah, well…" Derek cringed to think about his daughters being interested in boys. "Henry has a girlfriend, doesn't he?"

"He and Amber broke up last month," Emily reminded him.

A slow nod came from him in response. "Then I'll be bringing the shotgun with me to dinner."

She smiled brightly at that. "They are sixteen. I'm actually surprised neither of them has gone out on an official date yet. Although that could have to do with the fact that one of their parents said they couldn't date until they were sixteen. And that same parent seemed more like they wished their daughters would never date."

"I know," he nodded. "You're such a bully, Emily."

"Very funny," another playful slap struck his shoulder. "Henry is a cute young man, home on a break from his first year at college," she went on. "He grew up friends with the girls, I wouldn't be surprised if he wasn't interested in them, or they in him. And a cute girl will do a lot to impress a cute boy, including picking out a special outfit just for a pizza meal."

His eyes narrowed in thought. "Pretty sure I should've made the dating age thirty," Derek lamented. "So…" he let his hands rest against Emily's waist. "A teenage girl will do a lot to impress a boy? How about a beautiful middle-aged woman?"

"Middle-aged?" Emily grinned again. "You flatter me, kind sir," she adored the way they still flirted with one another. "Of course I'd have to live to be about a hundred and fourteen for this to be middle age," she pointed out. "I think you're just being kind because you want to have your way with me."

"That could be," he nodded before kissing her again. "But later. Much later," Derek insisted.

xxx

"Hey, we need to leave, ladies. What's taking so long?" Derek bellowed up the stairs.

Emily was the first to arrive, sauntering down the stairs in a breezy skirt and green blouse. Her hair flowed down, hitting just below her shoulder blades. Strappy heels adorned her feet and a darker green cardigan was draped over her left arm. "You've lived with three women long enough to know it takes some time to look this good."

He whistled softly in an appreciative manner. Derek drew her close, his hands at her waist as he kissed her. "You look good in nothing, Em. But this outfit is gorgeous, too."

She smiled; impressed that he could still make her feel special after sixteen years together. "I spent all day in yoga pants and a t-shirt," she shrugged. "Just wanted to look pretty for this evening," Emily concluded.

"Always," he whispered, leaning in for another kiss. "You're always beautiful," Morgan reiterated. "That pizza joint isn't going to know what hit it."

"I was thinking… maybe we can drop the girls off after dinner and then you and I can go do something fun?" she suggested.

"I like the sound of fun," his head nodded enthusiastically.

They were in the middle of another steamy embrace when the twins came down the stairs.

"Oh, gross… get a room," Grace and Hannah spoke at the same time, as they often did.

Emily laughed, pulling away from Derek. But she gave him a wink, a promise of what was to come of their evening. She then looked over her daughter's outfits, recalling how she'd once tried to dress them in separate colors to tell them apart. For teenagers they wore very respectful clothing, nothing super revealing or tacky. They always made her proud. "The two of you wouldn't be all dressed up because of Henry being at the pizza place, would you?" Emily asked as her family headed toward the door.

"What? No," Grace wrinkled her nose.

Hannah's nose crinkled in the same manner. "That's nasty," she added to her sister's disgust.

"Henry is like our brother," Grace finally clarified for her parents as they jumped into the family SUV. "We all grew up together. Besides, he and Amanda just broke up a few weeks ago. They went out for almost a whole year. He's pretty crushed about it," she explained as Derek pulled the vehicle out of the driveway.

"See, we talk to him about brother and sister stuff like that," Hannah added.

"Sorry," Emily felt sufficiently chastised. "My mistake. So, why are you both dressed up then?" she inquired.

"Hello," Grace's tone was filled with unmistakable disbelief, like only a teenager could convey when their parents' questions seemed overly obvious to them. "It's a pizza place and arcade, mom. There will be a lot of other boys there on a Saturday night, of course," she pointed out.

Derek smiled as he caught the chagrined look on his wife's face. "Of course," he responded in a dramatic manner, playfully mocking his daughter.

"Of course," Emily joined her husband.

Their ride quieted down for a few minutes, the girls whispering in the back seat.

"I think I want to play a sport," Hannah spoke up loud enough for her parents to hear. "Maybe soccer."

Both parents were momentarily surprised considering Hannah had never shown much interest in anything related to sports. She went to watch them, either in support of her sister or because it was a school related activity and she could hang out with her friends. But actually wanting to play was a shocker. "That's cool," Derek replied, though a bit cautiously.

"And I've been thinking about cutting back on sports," Grace added to the unusual announcements. "Maybe focus on getting an academic scholarship rather than an athletic one."

"Really?" Emily was pretty much blown away by that declaration. Grace really was as good as the team captain had heralded and she couldn't imagine the girl not wanting to play as much as she did now. Her grades had never suffered from playing. It seemed very odd to Emily, and based on the look Derek was aiming her way, he felt the same sense of confusion from their daughters' sudden announcements.

Grace nodded. "Yeah, it's kind of strange," she went on. "But I've felt this way a few times before, like maybe I'm not meant to be the athletic twin. Like maybe I've always been the bookish one, but for some reason my identity got switched or something. You know? Almost like I was meant to be Hannah and not Grace," the girl reflected.

"And there've been lots of times where I looked in the mirror," Hannah added to the conversation again. "And it was like my name really didn't fit me. Like maybe I was meant to be Grace and not Hannah." She glanced at her sister for a moment and then back to her parents in the front seat. "We've seen our baby pictures a trillion times and we looked so much alike. Do you think it's possible that… I don't know… maybe… well, maybe you got us mixed up at some point when we were younger?"

Emily gulped. Her mouth hung open, hoping some words of assurance would spring forth for her children. But the only thing that came out was the truth. "It only happened twice," she admitted. "I tried to mark your wrists with the letters G and H and then I tried to color-code your outfits and… but… I failed," she lamented. "It's true; you might not be who we named you when you were born. I have no way to know."

Derek reached out to grasp his wife's hand, knowing it pained her to reveal the truth like she just had.

The backseat was deathly quiet for seconds that passed into minutes.

Then both girls began to laugh.

"Mom, we played a trick on you," Hannah was the first to admit, feeling pretty guilty all of a sudden as their mother looked paler than a ghost. "Grace and me heard you and daddy talking one day about how you got us mixed up when we babies," the girl revealed.

"But, jeez," Grace added. "Twice? You mixed us up more than once? That's pretty crazy," she continued to laugh. Hannah chuckled as well.

Emily remained quiet.

Hannah bit her bottom lip, feeling really bad now that her mother wasn't even responding. "I don't really want to play soccer or any other sport, mom. I'm just the book lover and writer and still want to be a novelist someday, or write screen plays, or maybe even direct movies. And I feel like Hannah. It's my name and I love that it's my name. I am Hannah."

"And I'm totally a Grace," the other girl did her best to reassure her mother. "I'm the smart but athletic twin. I've never had an identity crisis in my whole life of sixteen years. I love Hannah, but I'd never want to be her. All I ever want to be is Grace, promise," she concluded.

The front seat remained silent.

Grace shifted forward and pressed her cheek again her mother's. She gave her a kiss. "I'm sorry we played that trick on you, mom. Honest. I was the one who planned it with Hannah, but I'm so sorry now. Please don't hate me?" she begged.

"I'm real sorry, too," Hannah added. She couldn't get close enough to kiss her mother, but she placed her right hand against Emily's shoulder. "Please forgive me, mommy," her voice was softer, nearly on the verge of tears.

With a huge grin, Emily turned to face her daughters. "I forgive you," she gave in, not overly upset with them in the first place. She watched both girls slowly smile, uncertain if they'd truly been forgiven or not. Emily kissed them both on the hand before turning to Morgan. "You know your children are rotten, don't you?"

The girls laughed along with their father upon hearing that declaration, which signified true forgiveness in their minds.

"Yes, I do know that," Derek nodded as he took his wife's hand in his and kissed her palm. "They get it from you," he teased.

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	6. Proud

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

* * *

><p><strong>Proud<strong>

By

N. J. Borba

* * *

><p>Derek fastened the left side of Stella's diaper and pulled her pink leggings back up over her bottom. He lifted her to his hip with a sense of accomplishment. It was probably a silly notion to be so proud of changing one diaper when Emily stayed with the girl all day and night for several days at a time when he was away on a case. But it was a proud moment for him, being able to take care of his baby girl, being able to spend some quality time with her.<p>

"Dada," the baby smiled, using one hand to tug on his right ear.

His mouth hung open for a moment, not sure he'd heard his daughter right. "Did you just say…"

Stella grinned, showing off her newest white tooth. "Dada," the girl repeated.

In that instant Derek felt more love than he thought possible for the little girl. And his pride meter was off the charts. "You know I love you, little star," he kissed the nine-month-old on the cheek. Then he lifted her high above his head. He lowered her and kissed her tummy. They both laughed joyously to have such a playful moment together. But as he brought Stella back to his hip a small feeling of dread flooded his stomach. "You can't say that word around your mama."

"Dada," the girl smiled again, pointing to his chest before she snuggled her head against his shoulder.

"I know, but mama will be very upset if she finds out that's your first word," Derek tried to explain as he finally trashed the dirty diaper and headed out into the hall. They made their way downstairs and into the kitchen where Emily was buttering toast. "Always nice to see you expanding your culinary talents," Morgan teased her as he stole a kiss.

The baby reached out for Emily with one hand. Emily kissed Stella's fingers. "Dada," the girl said, pulling her hand back to aim it at Derek.

"Dadadeedumdum…" Derek quickly covered up his daughter's word with a string of nonsense in a somewhat sing-song tone. "We've been upstairs singing, haven't we baby girl?" he looked to the baby in his arms. "Just making up random tunes. She seems to like the D sound a lot," he pronounced.

Emily chuckled and nodded. "Okay," she took a bite of her toast. "Well, it sounds like the two of you are going to have a fun day together. And I can't wait to have a little grownup time with JJ and Penelope. Shopping and lunch… it sounds like so little, but a true vacation for this stay at home mommy," she kissed Stella again, not wanting the girl to think she wasn't happy to take care of her most days.

"After our breakfast, Stella and I are going to the park to meet up with Will and Henry," Derek announced as he eased the baby into her high chair. He grabbed some of the banana that Emily had cut up and gave it to the girl. "I think Reid's got some sort of chess tournament there so we might run into him. Other than that we plan to feed the birds, have a picnic and take a nap on the grass. Isn't that right Stella?"

"Da…" the girl began.

"Deedeleedeedumdum," Morgan quickly added. He flashed a smile Emily's way. "She might be a singer someday."

"Mayyy..beee…" Emily drew the word out as she finished her toast. She felt Derek was up to something, but she let it slide. The day held too much promise to go looking for trouble. "There's applesauce and rice cereal for the rest of her breakfast, peaches and some organic chicken casserole in a jar for lunch. As well as whatever other snacks you want to take to the park with you," Emily grabbed her bag and car keys. She kissed Stella atop her head and then Derek on the lips. "And don't forget her blanket."

He nodded. "Hello Kitty blanket… got it. Go," Derek shooed her toward the door. "Have fun. Don't worry about us."

They exchanged one last, lingering, kiss before Emily finally exited the apartment.

"Now…" he turned his attention back to Stella. "We need to teach you how to say mama in about six hours. Let's get started shall we?"

xxx

"Mama," Derek repeated the word for the millionth time that morning as he wrestled the little girl out of her car seat. "Can you say it?" he encouraged. "Say, mama."

"Mama," an amused voice spoke from behind.

Morgan spun around to find Reid standing there with a cheeky grin upon his face. "Very funny," Derek said as he handed the baby over to his friend. "Hold her a sec… I need to grab the stroller and the diaper bag from the back."

Spencer held the little girl in a somewhat awkward manner. "Hello, Stella," he greeted the child rather formally.

"Dada!" the baby exclaimed, aiming one tiny fist toward the back of Derek's SUV.

The younger man's eyes lit up. "She just called you dada. Is that something new?" Reid asked. "She's nine months, right? Very good for her age, although girls do typically advance faster than boys at this stage in development," he pointed out. "Still, you must be very proud that dada is her first word."

"No," Derek shook his head as he slammed the back door closed. He expertly sprung the stroller into place and settled the diaper bag in the back storage compartment. Then he took Stella from his friend and sat her in the stroller with her leg and waist buckles securely fastened. "I mean, yes, of course I'm proud. But can you even imagine what it will be like for Emily? She takes care of Stella all the time and the baby says dada first?"

Reid cringed. "Right, she'll probably be upset," he agreed.

"So you'll help me teach Stella to say mama today?" Morgan attempted to cajole his friend. He glanced at his watch. "We have about five hours. I started on the drive here, but I've got nothing so far. What kind of tactics work best for training a nine month old?"

"Um," Spencer frowned. "She's not an FBI trainee," he pointed out. "Language is a tricky thing to learn. But like most learned behavior, repetition usually helps."

Derek nodded. "Okay, but I've been saying mama over and over the last hour or so and all Stella will say is dada."

"Dada!" the girl squealed in delight.

"Will and Henry better get here soon because we're going to need all the help we can get," Spencer concluded.

xxx

He woke from his nap in a foggy state of mind. It took him a moment to remember where he was. But something warm was pressed against him, which caused him to recall the day at the park with his daughter. Derek focused on the baby girl, her cheek resting against his chest, dark curls tickling his nose. She smelled of baby shampoo and bananas, and was curled against him with her Hello Kitty blanket wrapped about her as she napped.

"Hiya, sleeping beauty," Derek whispered, kissing her curls.

It was the end of April, almost May, and spring had thankfully come early to the east coast. The large tree they'd fallen asleep beneath was thick with bright green foliage and a clear blue sky spread high above them. Derek shifted just a little but let Stella remain sleeping against his chest. They'd had a long day already, lots of crawling after Henry and his kick ball, some swinging and plenty of eating. Stella had been so worn out that she'd gone down for her afternoon nap without a fight.

They'd also watched Reid play chess, but the teaching part of their day had not gone so well. Stella had yet to say the word mama.

"Hey," Emily's voice carried across the green grass.

Derek lifted his head a little to watch her walking toward them. She kicked off her shoes and sat down beside them on the large blanket he'd spread out. "I didn't expect to see you until this evening," he whispered, indicating the sleeping child. "We still haven't finished our nap."

"Can I join you?" she asked, even as she lay down beside Derek and snuggled up.

"How was your day?" he inquired, kissing her temple.

"Great," her eyes slid shut as she spoke. "I bought some new clothes, which I haven't done in months. And having a real conversation with JJ and Penelope was a gift. I'd started to forget how to start a conversation without Once Upon A Time, or ending it with Happily Ever After," Emily chuckled softly. "But when I got home it was too quiet, so I came in search of you two," her eyes reopened and she played with Stella's hair. "It's gotten so curly since she was born."

He nodded. "Hard to believe our baby will be ten months old soon."

"Seems like just yesterday I was holding her for the first time," Emily recalled. When she remembered the day of Stella's birth, Emily blocked out most of the bad stuff and kept only the memories of holding the little girl and protecting her. "I feel so old when I say things like, they grow up so fast," she laughed.

Stella stirred a little, her head shifting from one side to the other. "I think she's waking up," Derek noted.

"Sorry," Emily replied. "I didn't mean to disturb her."

"Nah, she's been out for an hour and a half," he let Emily know. "If she sleeps much longer she'll never go down tonight."

The two of them laid there for another half-hour as Stella fully woke up. Before long the girl was crawling all around them, back to being her lively self. Derek and Emily remained cuddled beneath the tree, handing Stella an alphabet cookie every once in a while. "Look, Stel… it's the letter M," Derek waved one cookie at the girl. "Can you make an M sound?" he tried to continue his teaching. "Mmm…"

"Dada," the baby giggled, reaching for the cookie.

Derek sighed in defeat. He caught Emily's eye and noticed that she looked surprised.

Stella pointed toward her father again. "Dada," she spoke triumphantly. Then her big, dark eyes aimed at Emily. "Dada," the baby smiled again, still pointing at Derek.

"That's right," Emily's voice was filled with excitement as she scooped the girl up. She kissed her cheek repeatedly. "You are mama's smart girl, aren't you? You're right… that is your dada," she also pointed to Derek as she said the word.

He was momentarily surprised by Emily's level of happiness. "You're not mad that her first word is dada?"

"Mad?" she chuckled. "Why would I be mad? I've been teaching her to say dada for months now. Every day that you're gone on a case I show her your picture and tell her who you are so she won't forget you," Emily explained. She kissed the baby again. "I'm so proud of you, little star."

Morgan laughed, shaking his head. "I've been trying to get her to say mama all day because I thought you'd be upset her first word was dada," he confessed.

Emily grinned. "She'll say mama soon enough, but she sees me all the time."

His heart constricted in a good way as he leaned over to kiss Emily. "You know I love you more than I could ever tell you in words, right?"

"I know," Emily nodded as Stella crawled away with her M cookie.

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	7. Knife

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

* * *

><p><strong>Knife<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>Derek grabbed the bag of bread and tossed it on the counter where he planned to prepare his lunch. Saturday morning had gone well so far, his second weekend off in a row. He and Emily had woken to Stella crying for a change and food at 5am, issues that they quickly tended to. Several hours later, after a leisurely morning of doing laundry together and eating cold cereal, Emily headed out for her lunch date with Liz. And he'd played with his daughter until she'd succumbed to a nap just a few minutes ago.<p>

Now, as he proceeded to the fridge, Derek hoped to find everything desired for the monster turkey and cheese sandwich he had planned.

He balanced packages of deli turkey, sliced cheese, onion, tomato and lettuce in one arm; a jar of mayo and mustard in the other. They all made a soft clatter against the counter where his bread laid in wait. Morgan was serious about his sandwich construction. "Mayo on one side and mustard on the other," he spoke to himself as he reached the silverware drawer and pulled it open. "I just need a kn…" he trailed off, finding the knife section of the drawer conspicuously lacking of any butter knives.

"That's odd," he mumbled, easily transitioning to the dishwasher. It was rare for all their knives to be dirty, and he couldn't help wonder what Emily had been preparing the last few days that required the use of nearly a dozen butter knives.

When he opened the dishwasher, Derek found a few dirty dishes, but mostly bowls and glasses. There were also a couple spoons, about five forks, but absolutely no knives.

"Curiouser and curiouser," he spoke aloud, realizing he'd been reading way too much Alice and Wonderland to Stella.

Ditching the hope of using a butter knife, Derek went to the drawer where they kept the larger knives; steak knives, bread knives and such. He rolled it open to find it was also completely bare. He finally realized it must have been due to Emily's sudden attention to child safety in the kitchen so he went about searching for the knives in the upper cupboards. If anyone could figure out a good system for knife storage up high, it would be Emily.

But after ten minutes of searching both high and low, Derek found exactly zero knives in their kitchen and pantry.

"All I want is one measly sandwich," he lamented. The mayo and mustard could be spread with a spoon without too much trouble, but he had no way to slice onion or tomato and the sandwich just wouldn't be the same without them.

For a brief moment he considered calling Emily to ask her about the knife mystery, but he quickly decided against that course of action. She had little free time as it was and he really didn't want to be a burden when he was meant to be giving her a break. "I can deal with this," he resigned.

Derek stashed the ingredients back in the fridge and settled for peanut butter and raspberry jelly, which were both easily spread with a spoon.

Sinking his teeth into the PB&J sandwich didn't exactly have the same quenching effect his other planned sandwich would've, but he ate with the satisfying knowledge that he would soon get to the bottom of the missing knife case.

xxx

"How was lunch with your mom?" Derek called from the kitchen when he heard Emily return.

Emily dropped her three shopping bags by the door and shrugged. "Okay, as good as lunch with my mother can be I suppose," she greeted Derek with a limp hug and a quick kiss on the lips. Then she headed for the living room where Stella was playing with some wooden stacking blocks that were painted to resemble circus clowns. "How's my girl?" Emily asked, kneeling to kiss the baby atop her dark head of hair. "Were you good for daddy?"

Stella's mouth split in a huge grin that showed off her four front teeth, two on the bottom and two on top. "Mmm," she replied.

Derek settled on the floor beside Emily. "Have you figured out what Mmm means yet?" he asked. "Must be her attempt at mom or mama," Morgan went on, sensing that Emily wasn't in the best of moods. He waited for a moment for her to respond, but nothing was forthcoming. "You sure your lunch went well? What did you eat?"

"Salad," her one word reply was lackluster.

He nodded. "Salads are good. At least they don't require the use of a knife." Morgan was certain he saw Emily flinch as he spoke the knife word. It caused him far more concern that he'd anticipated. Derek thought for sure there'd be some simple explanation for the lack of knives in their home. Now he feared there was much deeper meaning behind it. "Em…" but he couldn't get his words out before she dove in.

"My mother insisted that we go shopping after lunch," she began, speaking quickly. "I know I should've called to let you know I'd be a bit later than planned, but my mother was persistent and before I could even think to call you we were looking at clothes. She bought a dozen things for Stella and nearly as many for me. I told her I could afford my own clothes, but you know how she gets this guilt thing going at times and she just doesn't take no for an answer. And then…"

"Emily," Derek finally placed a hand against her forearm. "Slow down, please," he implored. Watching her take a deep breath calmed him for a moment. But he still felt the need to get her talking about what was really wrong. "You didn't happen to buy any knives while you were out did you?"

She froze. And he felt horrible for trying to speak so lightly of the whole thing.

"Did you think I wouldn't notice our kitchen was suddenly knife free?" Derek persisted. "I don't mean to make light of this, or to hound you either. I'm just…"

"I got rid of them," Emily breathed out.

His head nodded slowly. "And may I ask why?" he carefully proceeded.

"Don't know," she shrugged.

Listening to the soft tone of her voice let him know that she was lying. "People don't just toss out all the knives in their home for no good reason," he insisted. "Talk to me, Em. Please. I really have no idea what's going on here and I can't help if I don't know what you're thinking or feeling."

Emily watched Stella, amazed by the way the baby sat so quietly and played with her toys. Most days she was crawling all over the house non-stop and Emily had a heck of a time keeping up with her. "She's so fast sometimes," her voice was stronger, though not much. "And two days ago I dropped a butter knife when I was emptying the dishwasher," Emily swallowed hard. "Stella grabbed it and took off before I even realized."

Derek listened, hearing the fear that laced her tone. "You were worried about her playing with the knife," it wasn't a question. "So your solution was to get rid of all our knives? Don't you think maybe you could have just put them somewhere higher, out of reach? Or you could've asked me to install some child safety locks."

Her lips were dry as she spoke. "She crawled back to her toys and was holding that butter knife with a white-knuckle grip."

"Well, she probably couldn't do much damage with a butter knife," he tried to reassure Emily.

"It's not that," she let the words slide out like they were a confession. "Seeing her sitting there, holding that knife, she looked…" Emily shook her head. "Never mind, its stup…" she was about to say stupid but she caught the look in Derek's eyes and stopped herself. Without a single word he assured her that nothing she had to say was stupid. "Looking at Stella with that knife… all I saw was Tamara with the gun, the one she used to kill herself," Emily felt awful for speaking of the event in Stella's presence. "We should talk somewhere else."

He easily agreed, jumping to his feet and following Emily into the kitchen. "So you were worried about Stella, only on a grander scale," Derek guessed.

"It is stupid, right?" she went that route again. "It was only a butter knife, not a gun. And she probably only took it because it was shiny and something new and she's so curious about everything these days, and I'm just over reacting."

Derek didn't respond with words right away. He simply wrapped his arms about her waist and pulled her close to him.

Emily let him comfort her. She took several shallow breaths before her breathing finally evened out. Her cheek rested on his shoulder. "I've never really talked about that day to you or anyone," she whispered the words against his neck. "I've tried so hard to only ever think of it as the day Stella was born, a happy day and nothing more."

"But it was a hell of an ordeal you went through," he acknowledged, knowing he'd never pushed her to talk about it.

"And I tried to convince myself that taking care of Stella was more productive than talking about what had happened," Emily revealed. "But I never should've bottled it up inside."

Hearing her say those words made him proud. Derek wasn't good at dealing with his feelings either, but he realized now they both needed to talk about it a bit more. "I get that you'll probably always have fears of Stella being like Tamara, of succumbing to that kind of loneliness and pain," one hand pushed her hair off his shoulder so he could look at her. He pressed his lips to her forehead. "But I like to think we're going to love Stella enough for that to never be the case."

"I want to believe that, too," she nodded, thankful that at least she hadn't cried about it. Emily hated feeling weak, but she hated the crying part of that feeling most.

He let go of her waist and moved his hands to her shoulders. Derek kissed her sweetly for a brief second. "And if she ever does find herself in that situation, we'll be there for her. Just like we are now, always protective… even if it is to a fault," he concluded.

"Agreed," Emily concurred.

xxx

The next day Derek packed Stella into her car seat, ushered Emily to the front passenger side of his SUV, and refused to tell her were they were headed. She figured it out pretty quickly when they pulled into the parking lot in front of the Williams-Sonoma store in Alexandria. Emily got Stella from her seat while Derek grabbed the small diaper bag. "Getting tired of peanut butter and jelly already?" Emily asked as they moved toward the store's entrance.

"A man needs to be able to slice an onion every now and then," he declared in a playful manner.

Twenty minutes later Emily was gazing at a wall covered with stainless steel bread knives. She agonized over which ones to buy and then finally tossed a few into their cart. That's when she caught Derek eyeing her with an amused look. Emily tried to question him without words, but that only brought forth his laughter. "What? Why are you laughing?"

He looked to Stella who was situated in the shopping cart seat; her chubby little legs dangling as she chewed on a stuffed monkey toy. "I just find it entertaining that a few days ago you threw out all of our knives so Stella would be safe from them," he finally spoke. "And now here she is seated in the front of this cart while you fill the basket with various knives."

Emily crackled a small smile. "That is pretty funny," she had to admit. "Although at least they're all in packages," she amended. They moved to the section that held silverware, in search of new butter knives. She took Derek's hand as they meandered down the aisle hoping to match their existing set. "Thank you for always finding humor in the situations I manage to propel us into. I know it must be a chore living with me at times," she acknowledged.

"Nah," he brought her hand to his lips and kissed it lovingly. "There's never a dull moment with you in my life."

She groaned at his awful pun. "Except when I toss out all the knives," Emily played along.

"Nope, not even then," he beamed assuredly.

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	8. Note

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

* * *

><p><strong>Note<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>"Stop it."<p>

With a dismissive look Emily pushed his hand away.

Derek chuckled, as did Rossi. Reid looked rather uncomfortable about the exchange while JJ and Garcia both smiled. "But she's really kicking a lot today," Morgan protested, his wandering fingers finding their way back to Emily's belly. "I can practically see her little foot outline, and it's not fair that you get to feel her kick all the time," he protested.

Her eyes rolled, as if she were dealing with a sullen child. "Trust me, the novelty of feeling her kick wore off about three weeks ago," Emily groaned, again pushing his hand off her heavily pregnant belly. "I don't even know how she has room left in there to move," she added. Shooting her husband another warning look, she added, "And we agreed to no touchy feely stuff at work," Emily reminded him.

"Hotch isn't here yet," he retorted, reaching his hand out again.

She swatted it away a third time. "What has gotten into you?" Emily was surprised by his lack of procedure. He knew as well as she did that Strauss had them both on a short leash as far as their marriage, and now the baby, was concerned to the functioning of the BAU. And Morgan had so far been a stickler for the rules.

"I'm growing a little impatient," Derek confessed. "I want her on the outside so I can carry her around."

"Buddy…" Emily's head shook. "You have no idea how much I want that, too."

Another round of smiles and laughter circled the BAU table.

"I'd advise you back off," JJ eyed Derek. "She's three days from her due date."

"And I have a stupid doctor's appointment this afternoon," Emily added, grateful for her friend's support. JJ was the only one who knew what she was going through and Emily appreciated the commiseration. "And I've gained five pounds this last week, which Dr. Haruko will no doubt chide me about."

Rossi grinned. "Must be a big baby," he guessed.

"No likely," Morgan countered. "I'm willing to bet about four and a half of those pounds is due to chocolate consumption." He barely managed to dodge Emily's swat, but thankfully her big belly thwarted her ability to lean over very far. "Sorry," Derek offered. He received a growl from his moody wife.

"Jack's fundraiser?" Garcia inquired, hoping to defuse some tension.

Emily nodded. "His salesman speech was unbelievably cute, how could I not buy anything?"

"Someone mention my son?" Hotch asked as he entered the BAU room with a cup of coffee in one hand, files and tablet pc in the other.

"I have an idea!" Penelope chirped. She clutched the hot pink pen in her hand and searched the table. Her efforts to get the BAU paper free had been going pretty well, but one person at the table still carried around a pad of paper. Garcia snatched a piece of paper from an unsuspecting Reid and began to write. "Dear, Dr. Haruko…" she scribbled down the words while speaking them aloud. "Please excuse my friend, Emily, for gaining five pounds last week," she waited for her hand to catch up.

There were more smiles around the table. And one rather confused look on Hotch's face as he sat.

"Her boss's son was selling candy for his school fundraiser last week," Garcia continued. "So she really can't be blamed for eating a whole box of chocolate bars."

"Actually…" Emily lowered her head in embarrassment. She didn't say another word, but held up two fingers.

Dave and JJ laughed again.

Penelope scratched out a few words. "_Two_ boxes of chocolate bars," she amended. "Sincerely, Penelope Garcia. Technical Analyst… Federal Bureau of Investigation… Behavioral Analysis Unit… Quantico, Virginia," Garcia signed the note with a flourish and then slid it across the table to Emily. "Voila, it's all official-like now… you're golden," she declared with a wink.

"You are the best, PG," Emily beamed.

Derek shook his head at their antics.

"If you all are finished…" Hotch interrupted the fun. "Can we get to work?"

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	9. Reality

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

* * *

><p><strong>Reality<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>Emily dropped her file atop Morgan's desk. "I don't think I can do any more tonight," she sighed.<p>

"That's fine," he didn't even look up, still reading over something in a case file. "I appreciate the help. I don't mind giving Hotch a break, but some days the papers start piling up, especially if we've been out of town for a while."

She nodded, grateful for his thanks. But something wasn't right between them. "So, that was kind of awkward the other day." Even as tired as she was at the moment, Emily didn't feel like tromping back to her lonely apartment. It was part of the reason she'd coerced JJ and Garcia to stay out so late over the weekend. A fact she kind of regretted since hearing about the small fight Will and JJ had had about her staying out late and leaving Henry with a sitter.

Derek finally sat his file down and lifted his eyes to regard her.

He wasn't sure what she was referring to as he watched her sink down further into the chair on the other side of his desk. There had been several awkward moments he could think of in the past few months. Starting with watching her walk into the BAU room after thinking her dead and buried for seven months, and ending with their most recent attempt to make amends, which had included him feeling guilty and her cracking jokes. Then there was the fact they were currently still at the BAU after midnight on a Tuesday.

"Our lunch outing after Hotch's triathlon," Emily added, noticing the somewhat glazed look in his eyes, "With his friend, Beth."

His head bobbed. "Right…" Derek paused. "She seems nice."

"Yeah, I guess." She watched him again, trying to suss out what was on his mind. Emily knew it had nothing to do with Hotch and his new girlfriend. That wasn't really on her mind either, but it had been a starting point. These days it seemed they had a lot of starting points but no real ending, at least nothing sufficient to her way of thinking. "Did you think I'd meant some other awkward moment? Maybe what happened with you and Garcia a few weeks back?"

"Nothing happened then," he was quick to defend.

"I didn't think…" which was a main part of her problem these days. "Well, I wasn't going to assume. Garcia was embarrassed, but she didn't say much about it. And the two of you have been close for a very long time, a lot longer than I've known either of you and…" she sighed, not sure of any word that had escaped her lips since she'd entered his office three hours ago. "Did you want something to happen? Have you ever wanted that from her?"

He watched her for a moment, noticing the way she rung her hands, the small up and down motion of her left knee, and the way she kept biting her bottom lip. Derek read all of those things as a means for her to keep from destroying her fingernails as was often the case when she was stressed or uncomfortable. "Penelope and I are very good friends, but nothing more. And she was very drunk that night. I'd think you of all people would know I'd never take advantage of anyone under those circumstances."

Emily suddenly felt like the kind of thing someone might step on and feel repulsed by. "I don't even know why I went there."

"Don't you?" Morgan had a feeling he knew. But his bravery ended quickly and he attempted to cover, "I've just been in kind of a weird place for a while and taking care of Penelope that night helped, a little." That explanation sounded lame even to his ears. The truth was begging to be set free. "I can't seem to stop thinking about you being dead and how I couldn't help you or how I never got a chance to tell you…" his courage kept ebbing and flowing like the ocean tide. "And then finding out you're alive…" he trailed off.

"Does any of this have to do with the fact that you've been partnering up with JJ a lot in the field?" she inquired. "Did you make that request of Hotch?"

"Yes, I did. But not for the reasons you're probably thinking."

"What reasons?"

"That I'm trying to avoid you. That I'm upset with you about what happened with Doyle and the way you left," he responded.

She nodded. "Yep, I suppose that is what I've been thinking."

They'd been dancing around it for months, and he knew he was just as much to blame for that. He didn't deal with his emotions very well and she usually tried to use humor to cover her true feelings, which was pretty much how things had played out between them two weeks ago. "Last year when you and I were working together so much I started to feel like maybe…" he nearly stopped there, but finally added, "I thought we might've had something more going on. Or could've at some point."

His words shocked her on the surface. But deeper she felt as if they were a confirmation of something she thought had been one sided on her part for years.

"But now I know that's not going to happen," Derek shattered the small glimmer of relief he'd seen emerge upon her face. "It can't happen, and I'd really rather not lose you. You know, as a part of this team. Or even as a friend."

"So, you had feelings for me?"

"Yes."

Her stomach clinched to hear the verbal confirmation. "And now you don't?"

He sighed. "It's not a matter of don't, Emily. I can't just turn it on and off like a switch, but…"

"But you can't trust me," she filled in the blank for him. "I faked my death, I ran away, and didn't tell you what was really going on. That hurt you. And even though you're happy I'm back and you say you're not upset about it all, I still betrayed your trust," Emily knew that was the bigger issue, for both of them. "There are very few people I trust in this world, Derek. You're on that list, and it hurts me to know I'm not on yours any longer. But I understand. I do."

Derek couldn't help admire the way she read him so well.

She stood, turned toward the door, ready to leave. Then she doubled back and rested her hands on the chair she'd just been sitting in.

"In my defense…" Emily knew she should've left it at that, but she just couldn't. "I wanted to tell you, Derek. About Doyle, about all of it… but I was so afraid," she confessed. "You see, I've never made friends easily, but you and I just… we meshed almost from the start. I felt confident that you'd always have my back and I made a silent vow to always be there for you as well. And when Doyle threatened the team, you're the one I kept seeing in my head. And I couldn't risk him hurting the best friend I've ever had."

The chair he was seated in moved backwards, seemingly of its own accord. Before he knew it his feet had carried him across the room to her.

"I knew that," Derek spoke as he stood before her, the chair between them. He'd been closer only a few times; the night he'd held her hand in that Boston warehouse pleading for her to hang on, and then again when she'd walked back into his life, alive and well and hugging him. "I always understood why you went after Doyle on your own. I think that's why I've been carrying this guilt around with me ever since," he revealed.

Emily understood that Derek Morgan didn't divulge the inner workings of his heart every day, or to just anyone. That knowledge made her brave enough to close the gap between them and wrap her arms about him. And just like that day a few months back she felt his whole body tense, but she didn't let go, because even as messed up as their relationship was, it was still the best one she'd ever been a second half of. And that was worth holding on to.

Morgan felt his heart thump and heard it whoosh in his head. But slowly, cautiously, he allowed his arms to reciprocate her embrace. It was like finding her alive all over again.

"If I could absolve you of that guilt I would," she whispered against his neck. "But I think only you can do that."

His lips curled into a smile that only she could've evoked from him at such a moment. Derek let the reality of her words sink in. She was right, and he could do something about it. He could put an end to all of it. With that newfound logic stuck in his brain Derek stepped halfway out of their hug. His hands slid away from her waist, working their way upward to her neck. Finally he closed his eyes and let his hips capture hers, softly, searching.

She instantly responded, not even surprised for a second. Emily let her guard down in a manner she was sure had never occurred before.

Moments later the kiss ended with mutual retreat.

"I thought this couldn't happen," she breathlessly spoke the first words.

He smiled a little brighter, nodding and shrugging all at once. "I have been wrong before, maybe once or twice."

Her eyes widened and she gasped exaggeratedly, clearly teasing him. "No, it's not possible. Derek Morgan could never be wrong," Emily expelled.

"I was wrong to wait so long to let you know how I feel about you," Derek responded good-naturedly.

"Hmm…" she frowned a little. "You just kissed me, which was amazing… and rather dangerous given we're still standing in the middle of your office at the BAU. Granted it's nearly midnight and even the janitor went home an hour ago. But…" Emily took a quick breath. "I don't think you've actually let me know how you feel about me."

Derek grinned, both arms melted around her waist again. "Actions speak louder than words."

Emily's eyes rolled toward the ceiling as she groaned. "Surely you can do better than that cliché."

With a nod he let the words fall freely. "The reality of the situation is… I care about you, Emily. I have for a long time," Morgan revealed. "And I have no idea how this is going to work, or if it will work, but…" he smiled as reassuringly as he could. "I want to try and make us work."

The word try seemed like a scary one, but she agreed. "I want to try, too," Emily echoed.

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	10. Pact

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

**Sorry this update took a while, work has gotten busy the past week. But I'm not complaining because I'm just so happy to have a job again! Anyhow, the baseball season may cut down on my posting, but hopefully I can still squeeze in plenty of stories. Please enjoy this one!**

* * *

><p><strong>Pact<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>"Hi."<p>

Derek's eyes narrowed a little in consternation as fat raindrops steadily pelted the roof, which he was glad he'd repaired last fall. Emily was wet. Standing on his front porch completely soaked through as far as he could tell. And he could tell a great deal from the see-through nature that her shirt had been rendered by the torrential downpour. It had been raining in the greater DC area for four days, non-stop, and it didn't seem ready to let up any time in the near future.

Aside from being wet, he'd heard the slightest bit of a slur to her single word greeting. "Hey," he finally spoke an equally minimal greeting, wondering how he'd become the caretaker for drunken friends lately. "You okay?"

She shrugged, dark hair matted to her cheeks. "Do you know how people make pacts?" Emily managed to get the question free before swaying and leaning against his door frame.

"Why don't you come inside and sit down for a minute," Morgan offered. He stepped aside and held a hand outward, aiming toward his dimly lit living room.

Emily was grateful for his hospitality even though she knew she was intruding, and slightly drunk to boot. She entered - a little steadier on her feet as she moved into the living room's warmth. A white-stone fireplace dominated the space with a fire lit, real wood crackling and flames licking the air. Leather sofa and chairs were arranged around the blaze in a semi-circle with an oak coffee table between them and the fireplace. It was masculine, but comfy, very much what she imagined his place would be like.

A tray of food was situated on the coffee table. An LCD television was tuned to some sort of sporting event. And in addition to the roaring fire, dozens of small votive lights were lit around the room. "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your dinner." Emily stepped back toward the door, worried that some woman was going to come walking out in red lacy lingerie at any moment. She suddenly felt a bit foolish for even directing her cab to Derek's address. "I can wait outside while I call a cab."

He cracked a small grin, reached for her forearm and drew her back into the room. "Just having a little guy's night in, me and Clooney watching the Big East Championship game," his head inclined toward the TV. "Still half the game left," Derek noted. "And plenty Chinese, if you're hungry," he offered. "And it seems my canine friend has run off," his eyes roamed the room for signs of the aging bull dog. "He's a little shy," Morgan added.

"You always eat with your dog by candlelight?" she was curious.

"Nah," his head shook. "Those are a precaution due to the storm. Afraid the power might go out," he explained. There was a long pause before he spoke again. "Join me?"

"I'm really wet," Emily instantly felt embarrassed for those words. "I mean… I'm… soaked…" that certainly didn't help.

Seeing the red hue that splotched her cheeks caused Derek's grin to grow brighter. He figured some of that color on her face was due to too much alcohol, but some he was sure was caused by blushing. He found it amusing to think Emily could ever be embarrassed in his presence, not after all they'd been through the last several years. "In that case," he hoped to put her at ease, "Why don't you strip down."

Her jaw nearly dropped. "Um…" Emily felt light-headed, but not from the wine she'd consumed earlier.

This time he actually chuckled. "In the bathroom," Morgan pointed toward a door down the hall. "And I'll grab you something to put on while your things dry."

With a nod, Emily ambled slowly down the hall and then practically dove into the bathroom. She closed the door quickly and stared at her reflection in the mirror wondering again what had possessed her to visit Derek. The alcohol was making her brave, but not nearly enough to face him with the full force of what she'd been meaning to talk about. Emily wanted to slip out while he wasn't looking, but as she stood there shivering, she realized she wanted to be warm more than safe from embarrassment.

A knock on the door caused her to jump. But his voice was soothing, "I can just leave these out here for…"

She opened the door.

"You're still in the wet stuff," he dumbly noted, trying hard not to stare at the shirt clinging to her chest. "Uh… here," Derek held up too items. "Some sweat pants and a pullover hoodie," he presented, "Both are probably way too big for you, but clean and warm."

"Thanks," Emily grabbed the clothing. They stared at one another for several long seconds. "I should probably…"

He nodded. "Yep, sure," Derek agreed.

The door closed on him and Emily sunk back against it on the inside. "What am I doing here?" she whispered. A shiver ran down her spine prompting her to stop lamenting and get changed. The black sweats thankfully had a drawstring to help keep them up on her narrow hips. And the gray hoodie had purple lettering arched across the front: Wildcats. She rolled her eyes. "Great, just the vibe I want to give off, Morgan." But she chuckled despite thinking she was playing with fire. After all, he was the one who'd picked it out for her.

Emily exited the bathroom and padded down the hall in her bare feet. She peeked into the living room and found Derek and Clooney cuddled up on the leather sofa. A smile erupted to see Derek looking so relaxed. She couldn't recall the last time she'd seen him look that stress-free. After a bit of snooping about his house Emily found the laundry room. The walls were bare stud, obviously still in a state of renovation. But thankfully there was a drier. She popped her wet things in and turned it on.

Back in the living room she cleared her throat. "Found the drier," she announced when his head turned to look over his shoulder at her. "Hope you don't mind."

"Not at all," his head shook. "Speed up the process, right?"

Her spirits sank a little to hear those particular words. But she moved toward the sofa, not about to waste the last bit of drunk-courage she had left. Emily tucked her feet underneath her bottom as she settled into one corner of the soft brown sofa. Derek was about a foot away, seated in the middle with Clooney to his right. She spotted a glass of water and a bottle of aspirin on the coffee table. "Thanks," she said, leaning forward to grab them.

"A fork, too," he pointed out the utensil. It had been placed beside an open carton of pot stickers. "There's plenty. Help yourself."

With another thank you directed his way, she nodded then downed a couple aspirin with a huge gulp of water. Emily took the fork and a carton of noodles then settled back. She glanced up at the screen and spotted white uniforms playing against some very bright red ones. "This is basketball?"

With a small chuckle he nodded. "Yep, basketball," Derek confirmed as he snatched a pot sticker. "Usually the basket is a dead giveaway," he teased.

She used her fork to smack his shoulder. "You know I don't watch this stuff."

"Sorry," he aimed a genuinely apologetic smile at her. "Basketball is played with baskets at either end of the court. Baseball is played with three bases in a diamond shape…"

Annoyed again at his condescending manner, she rolled her eyes. "Okay, smarty pants. Then why is football called _foot_-ball if they don't use their feet?"

Morgan stared at her for a long time, shaking his head. "Football players run up and down the field for four quarters, Emily," he finally replied. "And they sure as heck are not running on their hands. No, they use their feet. I'm guessing that has something to do with the name of the game," he concluded.

"Oh," she felt a bit foolish. "But soccer here is called football in Europe and most of the rest of the world. And they actually kick the ball with their feet so that makes sense. I think American football should be called something like, handball or throwball… maybe passball?" she shrugged, taking a bite. "I don't know."

"No!" he suddenly shouted at the TV. "Jeez, you can't be doing stupid stuff like that," Derek sighed.

Realizing he was talking to the TV, Emily marveled at how into the game he was getting. But she was actually glad of it, especially after the disruption of her unexpected arrival into his quiet evening. She relaxed against the sofa, stuffing her mouth with another bite. But she didn't really want to sit by quietly. In fact, she suddenly wanted to learn more about the game, mainly because of his keen interest. "Something bad happened?"

"Yep," he gave a curt nod, eyes still glued to the TV. "Siva just fouled Parker," Derek explained. "It's probably okay, though, because Louisville is still up by over ten points. Not to mention Cincinnati has been horrible at the free-throw line so far tonight…" he trailed off as the white-shirted player took his shot. "Yes!" Morgan cheered when the ball bounced off the rim causing the player to miss.

Watching for just a few seconds Emily made what she felt was a pretty safe assumption. "You're rooting for the red shirt team?" she inquired.

"Louisville," he nodded. "Sarah went to school there on a scholarship, good school. And they have a decent shot at winning this," Derek proclaimed.

They watched for a while longer, though halftime, Emily asking a few scattered questions here and there. For the most part Derek was willing to answer and explain, and Emily actually found herself getting caught up in the excitement of the game at times. "It's pretty amazing how they spin around like that and still have control of the ball," she remarked. "It's almost like a dance. Kind of graceful even," Emily stopped when Derek shot her a disapproving look upon the graceful comment. "I mean, manly," she chuckled.

With seven minutes left in the last half, the game got really amped up. The cheers grew louder, the plays were bolder. Then the wind howled outside and the TV screen flickered, as did the lights. "No, no, no…" Derek sat forward. "Come on power; do not go out until this game ends. Please," he begged.

She smiled to see him on edge over something that seemed trivial when compared to the job they performed. But to Morgan, Emily could see just how important it was to be able to sit down on a Saturday night and watch a basketball game. For his sake, she also prayed that the power didn't go out. "Please," she added her whispered plea to his.

It held while the Louisville player, Siva, made an amazing three-pointer. It held while the sports casters told the story of young Siva growing up in Seattle, Washington and driving around at age thirteen to find his dad and stop the man from taking his own life. It held for the cameras to pan around Madison Square Garden and land upon Siva's father cheering his head off. And the power held until the final buzzer sounded with an ending score of 50 to 44; those fifty hard-earned points going to the champions: Louisville.

Morgan jumped up and cheered nearly as loud as Siva's father.

Emily smiled again to see his enthusiasm.

Then the power went out.

"Crap," he muttered. "The drier just died with the power," Derek pointed out. "Sorry."

With a shake of her head, Emily dismissed his concern. "I've got dry clothes, thanks to you. And if you don't mind, I think I'd rather stay here than try to get a cab in this storm. Don't really care to face my dark apartment either," she noted.

"Well…" he wanted to say he was happy to have her stay, but it seemed rather out of character for their relationship. Of course he still didn't know why she'd shown up in the first place, drunk on a stormy night. And he'd pretty much ignored her through most of the last half of the game. But her presence beside him had been noticeable throughout. "I'm guessing this is going to last a while," Derek finally said. "Stuff in the freezer will melt."

"Right," she was a little surprised that was his first concern. "Anything good in there to eat? Ice cream, perhaps?" Emily got up and headed off without another word.

He couldn't help smile as he watched her. She had a special way of confusing the hell out of him, and also amusing him. Derek glanced down at Clooney who didn't seem at all worried about the storm, simply content to stay on the sofa. "Don't you just love the way she feels so at home here?" Morgan aimed his question at the dog. But he soon trailed after Emily to the kitchen. He was actually glad she felt comfortable.

"Popsicles?" Emily shot him an inquisitive look as she held up a box of berry flavored popsicles. "No ice cream, but popsicles?" She leaned against his countertop and unwrapped a raspberry one as she tossed him the box. "Don't want them to melt," she shrugged before taking her first lick.

"I had a sore throat a few weeks ago," he said, reaching for the last strawberry one in the box. "When we were kids…" Morgan peeled off the clear plastic wrap and ran his tongue across the top of the cool treat. "Mama would always get us popsicles when we had a sore throat. Guess it's stuck with me all these years."

As she watched him, Emily desperately tried not to think about other things his tongue would be good at licking. "And they worked?"

"Yep, always worked a charm," he nodded.

"Hmm…" the sigh that escaped her lips was melancholy. "I don't even remember my parents being around when I was sick as a child. Usually the nanny took care of me or a housekeeper when I got too old for a nanny." Emily explained.

Hearing her recall such things kind of broke his heart. But he didn't think sympathy was what she needed. "Before my dad died," he started. "If he came home and found out we were sick he'd enter our room and sit down beside us, fold his big beefy arms across his barrel chest. Then he'd scrutinize us for a long time and say something about how we didn't look very sick. A second later he'd crack a smile and tell us some dumb joke."

"Why?" Emily was curious.

Derek's smile was reflective, somewhat sad. But he was mostly grateful to have such happy memories of his father. "Because inevitably we'd smile and laugh at his silly jokes and he'd say: now see there, laughter really is the best medicine."

Emily took a small bite of her popsicle and swallowed it as Derek finished speaking. "He sounds like a wonderful man; a great dad."

"He was the best, for sure," Morgan agreed with a confident nod as he took a large bite from his treat.

She shivered. Not sure if it was from the cold popsicle or a desire to be even closer to Derek, Emily abruptly left the kitchen. Back in the living room she stood on the carpet in front of the fireplace to warm herself. Slowly licking the last of her popsicle she contemplating getting back to the reason she'd shown up on Morgan's doorstep. The reason was actually close to the topic they'd just been discussing. It seemed an easy enough transition to make. And when Derek came to stand beside her she finally let the words out.

"Do you want to have kids?"

With his tongue perched at the peak of his popsicle, Derek paused mid-lick. "What was that?" he wasn't sure he'd heard her right.

"Kids," the word rolled off her tongue a little easier. "Do you think about having a family some day?" Emily swallowed the last sweet tangy bit of her popsicle and then threw the wooden stick into the flickering fire. She watched Morgan do the same, clearly contemplating the question she'd put forth. In fact he seemed to be giving it a greater deal of thought than she'd expected from him. Emily had bet on a simple yes or no answer and then she'd know for sure.

"In an ideal world, sure," he finally replied. But his head shook. "In my world they don't really fit. You know… the job and all."

He was right. She did know. But that didn't change the way she felt at the moment. "I'm not happy, Derek," her use of his first name was personal, and rare. At work they were almost always Morgan and Prentiss. They even kept it that way a lot during after-hours gatherings. It was just easier. Emily realized now that she took the easy route a lot in life. "Not for a long time, not really," she confessed.

There'd been therapy sessions for several weeks after she'd returned to active duty with the BAU. But she hadn't opened up much to that doctor. She'd opened up only slightly more to Hotch, once on the jet. Emily had admitted to having a bad day, but it had pretty much ended there. She hadn't told him that every day since Doyle's resurfacing into her life had been a bad day. They were varying degrees of bad, some so good that the bad was almost covered over. But never completely good.

"Well… that's…" he had no idea what to say. Her words had startled him a bit and worried him a great deal. As the candles and firelight flickered, causing shadows to dance across her face, he knew it wasn't just the alcohol talking for her. "I don't know how to respond to that, Emily," he honestly confessed.

Emily actually smiled, glad he didn't try to sugar coat it or, god forbid, launch in to some plan to try to fix her. She shrugged. "I don't either. My instinct lately has been to have a baby, create some sort of family for myself so I don't feel so unbelievably lonely all the time. That's actually why I came here tonight," she revealed, finding it a lot easy to speak the truth in his presence than she'd imagined earlier. "I was seriously going to ask you to make a ridiculous pact with me."

Morgan's brows bunched together, not following. "What kind of pact?"

"You know, the kind two friends make sometimes…" she sighed. "You promise that if neither one of you are married by the time you turn forty that you'll be each other's back up; get married and have a baby. Or just the part about going halfsies on a baby," Emily concluded.

The fire popped.

Clooney shifted and snorted softly in his sleep.

An unreadable look presented itself upon Derek's face. "Who makes that kind of pact?" he asked.

Laughter bubbled to the surface as she realized how stupid it sounded. "Actually…" she moved away from the fire and sunk down on the sofa again. "I'm pretty sure I've only heard about that sort of thing in the movies and in books I've read."

Derek sat beside her, closer than they'd been earlier. He tried to tell himself that it was only because the light was bad and he wanted to be able to look her in the eye. The truth was somewhere more along the lines of simply wanting to be closer to her. "So, you think having a baby is going to help save you from feeling lonely?"

She winced. He didn't bother dancing around the heart of the matter. "Well, hearing you say it makes it sound selfish and…" Emily sighed. "Actually I think selfish sums it up."

"I wouldn't say it's entirely selfish, Emily," his hand found its way to her shoulder. "I don't think wanting to create life, nurture and raise a child, or share your life with someone special is selfish. But if you're trying to patch over whatever is really ailing you then, yes, it could be selfish."

"And wrong," Emily added what she was sure he was thinking.

A regretful sigh emitted from his lips. "I don't want to thwart your dreams, Emily," he insisted. "That is the last thing I want. I just don't think I could do that. Even if I thought I was ready to have a child, I wouldn't just want to be a halfsies part of it. I'd want to be the dad, and I'd want to be married to his or her mommy," Derek revealed with a shrug. "Call me old fashioned if you will," he grinned, trying to make light of the conversation.

"You think I don't want those things?" she was a tad defensive. "I always thought I'd be married by now. And hell, at this point in my life I probably can't even get pregnant so the whole thing is a moot issue. I'm already past the turning forty part of one of those silly pacts," Emily looked away, glancing at the withering flames. "You might want to add a log or two to the fire," she let him know. "Could be a long, cold night."

Morgan was glad to have the distraction. He left the sofa to grab two logs from the stack of wood around the corner from the fireplace. They were situated and instantly began to crackle and spark. With the screen back in place he turned around to find Emily had slid across the sofa to snuggle closer to Clooney. He watched as she gently stroked the bulldog's left flank. Clooney moaned appreciatively. "The old guy likes you," Derek grinned, returning to the sofa.

"What's not to like?" she sassed, some of her old spirit returning.

With his back to the sofa, left arm brushing against her thigh, Derek wondered why he was so reluctant to take her up on the pact idea. "Emily…"

"No," her whole body turned to face him. "You don't have to explain your feelings on the matter. Honestly," she insisted with a sigh. "I do need to figure out a solution that doesn't include jumping into something I'm probably not ready for, which… motherhood? I seriously doubt I'm ready for that. I just thought," Emily shrugged. "There's no one I respect more, no one I'd like a child of mine to emulate more than you."

His right hand caressed her cheek, breaking some of the tension between them. "I don't know if I'm meant to be a father someday. I kind of doubt it, but when I do allow myself that daydream I think about how I'd never want my child to have to lose their dad the way I lost mine. But then I think if they had a mom like I have, they'd be okay," he smiled. "And no matter what happens in your life, Emily, weather you become a parent or not… I do believe you'd be a great mom to any kid lucky enough to have you."

She leaned into his touch, closed her eyes and prayed she was reading him right.

Their lips met without further thought. The taste of popsicles mingled in their mouths, sweet strawberry and tangy-tart raspberry. Clooney yelped before they realized the poor old dog was pinned beneath their suddenly horizontal bodies. They both laughed as Emily sat up just enough to allow the bull dog to escape. "Is this… should we…" Emily hesitated for a moment, but his body remained melted against hers. "I'm on birth control, and I meant what I said about it being doubtful I could ever even conceive at this late date…

"Shh," he whispered, kissing along her neck. "I never figured you to be so chatty in this sort of situation."

"I just want you to know I'm not trying to trap you or…"

He silenced her again with another kiss. "I know," Derek whispered. "I do," he assured her.

His warm dry clothes, which she'd been so happy to slip in to an hour ago, were shed in a matter of seconds; deftly removed by his skilled hands. But Derek's equally naked body was plenty warm as he blanketed her. As was the soft leather sofa beneath her. "Are you sure?" Emily asked just before they crossed the line of no return.

"Positive," Morgan moaned.

The fire crackled as their bodies discovered one another.

xxx

Hotch spoke through their radios, "Morgan, Prentiss… I want you at the back of the building," he instructed.

"Already there," Derek promptly reported. He glanced to his right to see Emily there with her weapon drawn, ready to back him up. The two of them listened and waited for Hotch's final call to enter the warehouse where the UnSubs were trapped.

"Warehouses are really…" Emily stopped short from saying how uncomfortable she was, finding herself back at a warehouse just one year after her attack by Doyle. But she didn't want to voice such fears aloud, especially not when the rest of the team could potentially overhear her.

One look from Morgan was all it took for her to know he wasn't very keen on the situation either.

Her stomach tightened, knowing it had probably been a lot worse for him a year ago. Watching her bleed out, hearing how ready she was to give up. And then thinking her dead. She mouthed the words, "I'm sorry", to him just before Hotch gave the call to enter the warehouse. Derek nodded in understanding, but he quickly put the thought out of his mind. They couldn't be distracted by it any further. He grabbed the steel door's handle and slowly, cautiously pulled it open.

Morgan took the lead, hating that the area was much more open than a house. Not a lot of places to hide if their UnSubs came at them shooting. And since Garcia had uncovered a major weapons smuggling ring in connection to the UnSubs, it was a very real possibility that they were walking into a huge arsenal. Emily stuck close, silently shadowing him as they searched for the most important thing hidden in the warehouse; the life of a twenty-one year old woman their UnSubs had kidnapped twelve hours ago.

A flash of movement caught Derek's eye. "North-east corner," he whispered to Emily.

She nodded. "I saw him, just one, though. I think it was Harvey."

"Any sign of the girl?" Hotch's voice came across the radio.

Derek and Emily listened as the other teams reported in, but they couldn't risk talking and making their presence known.

A shot fired and pinged off a steel column just a few feet behind them.

"We've got shots fired," Prentiss relayed to the others, realizing their radio silence hadn't helped them with any stealth advantage. She and Morgan took off in the direction of the shot, calling for backup as they did so.

The space was vast, dotted by concrete in every shape and size imaginable. It was a pre-cast manufacturing plant on the outskirts of a small town in Michigan. The plant was currently shut down and had been for nearly two years with no plans yet to reopen; a victim of the country's sluggish economy. But it wasn't old or abandoned - someone had been around to keep the place relatively clean. The modern steel and glass structure was actually quite beautiful, clear-story windows and skylights, which probably let in plenty of daylight.

All of which didn't help much at the moment since it was just after midnight.

Morgan and Prentiss rounded the corner where they'd seen that single flash of movement. They came face-to-face with Jerry Lindstrom; fugitive number one on their list. The man had dirty blonde hair, green eyes and his nine-millimeter pistol was currently aimed at the temple of Nicole Newman. She and some college friends had been camping during spring break when Lindstrom and his partner, Mike Harvey, had gotten their hands on her.

"Help me, please," the girl begged as Lindstrom's hand crushed her forearm against her chest, holding her like a shield.

"You're going to be fine," Emily immediately reassured the young woman.

"They're liars," Lindstrom hissed. "They can't help you," he told the girl. "Mikey and I, we're your family; your brother and husband. We'll take care of you, Annie."

Morgan's finger itched to take a shot, but the girl was too close. "Just let her go, Lindstrom," he spoke calmly to the man. "She's not who you think she is. Your wife made her choice to leave you when you went to prison last year. Nicole is not Annie. Don't make her suffer for any of this," he pleaded.

Before Derek could attempt any further persuasion, another shot rang. It echoed above them and caused enough distraction for Lindstrom to get away, which was probably exactly what his partner wanted. "Go!" Emily shouted at Morgan while pointing toward Lindstrom and the girl. "I'll find Harvey," she was off before he could protest her calling the shots.

Emily watched Harvey as he ran along the catwalk above her. He was headed in the opposite direction of Lindstrom, but she figured they had some sort of plan to meet up eventually. Catching sight of a ladder, Emily holstered her weapon and climbed it as quickly as possible. Harvey had gained a decent lead in the time it took her to reach the catwalk but she drew her gun again and pursued, following him up even further as he took to some stairs.

She emerged onto the factory's roof seconds later and watched as Harvey dashed back and forth searching for a place to hide. "There's nowhere to run up here!" Emily shouted.

"Jerry got away with Annie!" the man called back through the chilly darkness. "All that matters," he surmised. "I'll die for the cause."

Her head shook as she advanced, watching carefully as he backed against the slope of a glass skylight. There was nothing worse than someone who wanted to become a martyr. His gun was still aimed at her, but he was bouncing from one foot to the other, either nervous or on drugs. Maybe both, she thought while creeping a bit closer. "There's no cause, Mike," she tried to reason with him on a more personal level. "That girl is not your sister. Annie moved on with her life and Lindstrom is trying to recreate a fantasy."

"Better to live in fantasy than in reality," he mused, his weapon shaking in his right hand.

With a deep breath, Emily lowered her gun to her side. "I don't want to hurt you, Mike. You're a victim in all this. Lindstrom orchestrated the robbery last year that landed you in prison, he arranged the escape last week, and it was his idea to kidnap Nicole. You don't have to keep protecting him," she insisted.

"Yeah, I do," he nodded, the gun still mostly aimed at her. "He's the only family I got."

It was plain to see that he believed those words. And Emily couldn't help sympathize. She'd given up her freedom to go after Doyle in the hopes of protecting the only family she had; her team. "I understand," she replied.

"No you don't!" he shouted just before squeezing off a round.

Thankfully it went wild and missed her. But Emily knew she couldn't wait much longer. She moved in closer, close enough to touch him if she had to subdue him. "Please, Mike, just drop the gun and we can work this out together," she implored.

He smiled and raised his gun again. "There's nothing to work out."

Emily could see in his eyes he wanted to die, confirming her earlier suspicion. She had no intention of letting that happen. Between the half second it took him to aim at her, Emily managed to lunge for his weapon and knock it out of his hand. But she hadn't been counting on the strength of his full body weight crashing into her and barreling her toward the skylight. They hit the sloped structure with enough force to break the glass. Pieces instantly carved into her flesh.

Disorientation nearly got the best of her, but Emily managed to grab hold of a window mullion that had twisted but not broken off. Harvey wasn't as lucky. Her grasp on it was tentative as she looked down to see her legs dangling above the thirty foot drop onto the floor below. Emily knew it was likely a death sentence drop since Harvey's body lay unmoving down there. "Morgan," her voice was barely a whisper as she heard gunshots somewhere else in the building. "I could really use some help on the roof…"

She had no idea how long it took before his voice shouted frantically from below. Probably only seconds. But to her aching arms it felt like days.

"Hold on!" Derek cried out, instantly taking to the ladder. It seemed such a stupid thing to say knowing she was probably doing her best to hang on. Morgan was dimly aware of Hotch several paces behind him as he sprinted toward the roof stairs. Via his ear piece he could hear JJ calling for a medic while Rossi and Reid tried to console a traumatized Nicole.

He blocked them all out the best he could, just like he tried to block out the memory of shooting and killing Lindstrom seconds ago. Emily was his only focus.

When he reached her the first thing he noticed was the paleness of her face. Then he saw the blood running down the right side of her body; face, neck and arm. Thirdly he spotted the fear reflected in her half-mast eyes. "I've got you," Derek clamped both hands about her left wrist, seeing that her right arm was barely hanging on with any strength. "Emily, listen to me," he talked to her seeing that she was wavering on the brink of unconsciousness. "Stay with me."

The words haunted him, far too similar to ones he'd spoken to her a year ago.

"Let's get her up," Hotch said as he landed on his knees beside Morgan.

They each put a hand beneath one of her armpits and hoisted her upward. When she was laid on her back upon the roof, Hotch did his best to assess the situation. "The piece in her neck may have hit an artery," he noticed it was bleeding the most. There was also a huge chunk in her right forearm. "Medics will be here soon," he spoke the words to Emily and Derek, noticing the way Morgan was focused on her.

"Hang on, Emily…" Derek whispered, knowing it was too risky to remove the glass pieces on their own for fear it would really open up the artery if one had been hit. "JJ's got a medic on the way," he added to what Hotch had said.

Her eyes blinked a few times, struggling to stay conscious. "Sorry," was the only word she could manage, starring into Derek's eyes before the darkness took hold.

"It's okay," he whispered back. Not caring that Hotch was right there, Morgan leaned forward and very gently kissed her forehead. "You're going to be okay."

xxx

One hand pushed the door in while the other balanced a large arrangement of flowers. "Do you have any idea how lucky you are?" Derek asked as he walked into her hospital room hours after the warehouse debacle. He was pleased to see her sitting up and even happier to see that a bit of color had returned to her face. "Those two big glass shards in your neck and arm each missed major arteries by a hair or less," he reported. "These are from Garcia," Morgan situated the flowers on a nearby table.

"The nine lives of Emily Prentiss," she joked, her voice a bit raspy. "What do you think… was this number four or five?"

He managed a small smile for her sake. Truth was he was still shaken by what had happened, nearly losing her again. Morgan spotted the chair beside her but he bypassed it in favor of taking a seat next to her on the bed. His hand instantly squeezed her left, the right being bandaged from elbow to fingertips. Similar bandages concealed her neck. Most of the cuts on her face and forehead were stitched but not covered. "I kissed you," he declared.

"When?" she asked. "I usually remember such things," her lips curled into a smile, trying to reassure him she was okay.

"Back at the warehouse after you passed out and we were waiting for the medic," Morgan explained. "Hotch was there, he helped me hoist you up. He watched me kiss your forehead. I guess that means the cat is out of the bag," he shrugged.

Emily squeezed his hand tenderly. "I never wanted things to become awkward between us… or with the team," Emily sighed. A stretch of silence lingered between them for a moment until something popped into her head. "Do you remember Benjamin Cyrus?"

"Kind of a hard guy to forget," Derek replied, "Considering he nearly blew Reid and me up."

She felt bad for bringing those memories back, but her mind was off on the tangent and she couldn't seem to let it go. "When he beat me up I ran into a mirror that broke. They say that brings seven years of bad luck along with it."

"You really believe in that kind of superstition?" his brows bunched.

Emily shrugged her good shoulder, but even that caused a wince of pain. "Look at the last four years of my life. I mean, I suppose we can assume Doyle was the climax to it all so I'm coming down the other side now?" she was uncertain. "But I still have about three years left on that mirror sentence."

"Wasn't it Cyrus' fault that pushed you into the mirror?" he countered. "That would make it his bad luck, which died with him in that chapel. Besides, I don't believe in that crap and I'm surprised you do. We make our own luck, Emily," his words were forceful, but he hoped not demanding.

A sigh escaped. "Maybe I'm just looking for somewhere to lay the blame, so I don't have to put it all on myself," Emily revealed.

"I had to shoot Lindstrom… kill him," he informed her. "There was no other way around it. Talking to him didn't help, nor did your talking to Harvey. We've had a lot more shot-to-kill endings to our cases lately. A lot more deaths heaped on our shoulders. And we try to tell ourselves that's the job – try not to let it affect us. But that's a bunch of crap, isn't it? Because it does affect us," he acknowledged. "And finding you in that warehouse last year… then watching you get shot a few weeks ago, now your neck and face are…"

The hint of a chuckle left her throat. "It's not pretty, is it?" Emily tried to break the seriousness with a bit of levity, like she always did.

"Not so much," he was honest, gently running a finger along one nasty cut on her forehead.

"Another set of scars to add to the collection," she tried to laugh it off some more.

Morgan could see past it, though, her wounded façade as well as the cover-up joking. "Every scar is a part of you," his finger moved downward to caress her left cheek. "And I don't want to gloss over those parts," he insisted. "The point I was trying to get to earlier, and the one I'm not doing a very good job of getting to now, is that I'd like to be part of nurturing someone for a change; giving life to something rather than death."

"Derek, what we had the other night… it was wonderful," her smile wasn't forced at all. "And it's sweet of you to make the offer now, but I seriously doubt bringing a baby into this life of mine, or yours, is the solution. I know I thought it was what I wanted even just a few days ago, but now… I don't think I'm ready for that."

"And I still don't think I'm ready to be a father," he revealed. "I wasn't talking about a baby, Emily. I'm talking about you and me; about giving birth to a relationship between the two of us. I'm talking about the two of us making a pact right here and now, a promise to be not-so-lonely together."

She smiled again at the unexpected sweetness of his offer, "The two of us along with Clooney and Sergio?"

"Yeah," he nodded, "Clooney and Sergio, too. See, we've already got two kids to look after," Derek joked, finally appreciating her comedic influence upon his life.

"So," her face grew a bit more serious. "Is this the kind of agreement we shake on?" Emily proffered her left hand.

"No," he replied, though he took her hand. "This is the kind of pact that can only be sealed by a kiss." Derek gently kissed the tips of her fingers, one by one. Then he leaned forward and captured her lips with his own. It was just a brief touch because he didn't want to cause her sore body any further discomfort. Morgan sat back a moment later. "Now, can we please make another pact to keep you out of hospitals for at least a year?" he teased.

Emily laughed. "I'll second that," she agreed.

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	11. Promises

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

Spoilers for CM7.16: _I Love You, Tommy Brown_… but this piece also follows sometime after my previous story, _Pact_.

* * *

><p><strong>Promises<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>Clooney grunted as the cat swatted his tail again.<p>

"Sergio, stop bothering him," Emily admonished, shooing the energetic feline off the sofa. Thankfully the old bulldog seemed only mildly annoyed by the pestering black cat. She sighed, turning her attention back to Derek and the baseball game they weren't really watching. "Sorry about Sergio," Emily apologized. "Normally he's pretty mellow, but he does have a mind of his own. And he's never been around other animals. Maybe it was a bad idea bringing him here this weekend."

"You've been spending a lot more time here," Morgan pointed out as he pulled her back to his side. They were both stretched out on his sofa, though allowing Clooney his spot at one corner where their feet resided. "I'm sure Sergio gets lonely being at your place on his own. And Clooney doesn't let too much bother him."

Emily relaxed again, resting her head against Derek's warm chest. She snuggled up even closer when his arm circled her waist. Their rare Saturday and Sunday off had been spent being as lazy as possible, sleeping in late, making love slowly, watching way too much TV and eating in bed or while lounging on the sofa. "I just wish they could get along," she voiced, watching as Sergio crept about the living room, carefully inspecting every inch of the new space.

"You know what they say about cats and dogs," Derek shrugged.

"Hmm…" she aimed her eyes at him. "And what about dog people and cat people getting along? We seem to do pretty well," Emily grinned.

He kissed her briefly. "We do," his agreement was genuine. It had only been a few months since they'd become more than friends, but it felt much longer since they'd known one another for years. And they'd been through a lot in the last year; her fake death, his guilt, and then nearly losing her again several weeks ago when an UnSub pushed her through a glass skylight in a warehouse. That event had finally cemented things for them.

Her good mood faded as thoughts overcame her.

"What's wrong?" Derek noticed the shift.

"Just thinking about Penelope and Kevin again," Emily revealed. "She really said no when he proposed?"

Derek nodded as one hand caressed Emily's shoulder. "She did," he sighed. "I kind of though if anyone could make marriage happen it would be those two," Morgan paused. "Never realized how much she enjoys her freedom." The TV light flickered, casting a red and blue glow about the room. The baseball game was rather slow and neither of them was really invested in it. "What are your feelings on marriage?" Morgan asked abruptly.

"Um… I…" all she could do was stutter for a moment, not having expected such an inquiry from him. Emily thought the question might have been different if there'd been a table between them, expensive wine and a fancy meal. Maybe some classical music playing and Derek down on one knee with a diamond ring in his outstretched hand. But she shook those thoughts away because they scared her more than his probing question. "Well… I…"

Morgan felt bad for putting her on the spot. She appeared to be partially stupefied and somewhat ready to bolt for the door. "Any thoughts at all," he gently prodded, finding he was much more curious about her answer now than he had been a minute ago.

"Yeah, of course…" she nodded, still stalling, still trying to wrap her head around the prospect of marriage or even just talking about it.

He swallowed nervously, his concern growing by each second that passed without a proper response to his question. "You know what, forget I asked. I guess Garcia's reaction just took me by surprise. She and Kevin have been dating for four years now, it seemed like the obvious next step to me," Derek expressed.

A sigh escaped Emily's lips. "I don't find it all that surprising," she finally revealed. "Take us, for example… I think what we have is great," Emily ventured a bit further, wondering just how much truth he really wanted, or could deal with. "I just don't think we need to ruin it with marriage."

That was not at all the response he'd been expecting, and he wasn't afraid to let her know. "I've always been of a mind to think that marriage isn't something that causes ruin," Morgan freely expressed his opinion.

"Except almost eighty percent of marriages end in divorce," Emily countered.

Feeling a possible fight on the horizon, Derek wondered if he should just drop the subject. But he couldn't. "If I wanted marriage statistics, I'd propose to Reid…" he trailed off a moment, worried that he'd taken the subject too far. But as he glanced down at her and recalled the events of the past year, Morgan knew that marrying Emily wasn't the furthest thought from his mind. "Emily, why wouldn't _you_ want to get married?

As she gazed into his questioning eyes, Emily wondered the same thing. Her very first instinct had been to say that marriage was a wonderful thing and that happily ever after was something she'd dreamt about as a girl. But her head and mouth had hesitated, because life had soiled her one too many times in the love department. "Love, honor, cherish… people make those promises to one another every day, thousands of people… and then they break them so easily, so casually," she revealed.

"Emily, any promise I make to you would never be broken easily," Derek insisted.

His words hit their mark, but she was still hesitant. In some ways their relationship had already lasted for years, and in other ways it was still just an infant. His assurances made her heart feel safe, but it was her head that always ruled over her heart with an iron grip. "You say that now, but things change…"

"You're speaking from some kind of experience now, right?" he persisted. "Doyle?"

"My parents," she countered, though Doyle always had a way of sticking sideways in her thoughts when it came to contemplating her past relationships. "They got married so young, had me straight after college, and then they had work and traveling… it all contributed to them growing apart."

He nodded in understanding. "But they're still married," Morgan pointed out.

"Yeah, in paper," Emily agreed. "But I really don't think there's been a lot of love there for a while."

His fingers trailed down her arm and wrapped around her palm. Derek squeezed reassuringly. "That doesn't have to be us," he vowed.

"What about Hotch and Haley?" For some reason her doubts had suddenly become an argument. "They clearly still loved one another, but they couldn't make it work."

Morgan sighed, but he did his best not to get upset with her. He didn't know why he was still pursuing the topic, but he decided to argue the other side. "My parents loved each other and they stuck it out through a lot together. I'm pretty sure they'd still be together today if he hadn't been killed."

"Which brings me to the next matter of our job," she immediately jumped on the topic he'd brought up, pretty much forgetting about Garcia and Kevin where the issue of marriage was concerned. "We both put our lives on the line day after day and could be killed out there in the field at any time."

"You think I don't know that?" he replied with a hint of exasperation. "I lived for seven months thinking you were dead, Emily. And just a few weeks ago I watched you dangling from a skylight, wondering if that would be the end for real. I worry about you every time we're in the field. And that's not going to change if we're married," he insisted. Morgan took a quick breath and turned things around. "If I died and was just your boyfriend would you be any less upset than if I was your husband?"

That was an easy answer for her. "No, not at all," Emily replied.

"Okay…" he cracked a small smile, sorry for the heavy subject. "I'm seeing a lot of holes in your argument, which makes me wonder if this isn't all about something a little deeper?" He waited a moment, hoping maybe she'd offer up a suggestion to confirm his belief. But Derek could see that wasn't going to happen. "Fear, perhaps?"

She bit her bottom lip and finally nodded confirmation. "I just don't want to be the one who breaks those promises, the one who causes it all to fall apart," Emily confessed.

"That's a very valid fear," he had to admit.

A slow smile spread across her face, lighting her eyes. Derek always had a way of speaking plainly, cutting to the heart of things. He could get her to open up like no one else, which was amusing to her given the fact that it took a sledgehammer to open him up most of the time. "And you're willing to live with a woman, possibly marry this woman someday, who has openly admitted to her fear of commitment?" she questioned. "You'd take that risk?"

"Isn't marriage always a risk?" Morgan countered. "Emily," he lovingly caressed her hand, brushing his dark fingers across the tiny scars on her pale skin. "We are very different in some ways, but we're also a lot alike in others. We fight, we laugh… isn't that life in general - the ups and downs? I know it's a heck of a lot more fun having you in my life to do those things with than not having you there," he concluded. "Marriage wouldn't make a bit of difference to me, except it would be permanent. No turning back."

Emily felt her heart pumping a little faster. "Why does it feel almost as if you're proposing?" she tried to laugh it off.

"What if I was?" he daringly questioned.

"Would you promise to be patient with me?" she inquired, finding herself taking the matter serious.

Morgan chuckled. "Aren't I already extremely patient with you?"

Her smile returned. "I suppose."

He tenderly kissed the back of her hand before looking her in the eye again. "So, if I asked you at some point in the future if you wanted to marry me? Do you think you might be more willing to say yes than you were before we had this talk?"

"Yes," she nodded.

Derek beamed contentedly for a long time until a nasty thought entered his head. "But the whole point may be moot if Hotch decides to say anything about what he saw on that warehouse roof. I'm actually surprised he hasn't brought it up yet."

"He will," Emily was confident of that fact. "But it won't make any difference, will it? He can dictate our jobs, but not our lives."

"Now who's the optimistic one in this relationship?" Morgan kissed her slowly. "No matter what happens, no turning back?" he whispered.

She kissed him again. "Now that's a promise I can keep," Emily concurred.

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	12. Secret

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

* * *

><p><strong>Secret<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>Derek stared at the report in front of him.<p>

He'd been looking at the same few lines of text for nearly ten minutes. His mind had wandered off somewhere else entirely. Morgan couldn't help thinking about the weekend and how he hoped it would be a case-free one so he and Emily could spend more time together. They'd had a few nice weekends together and she was staying at his place more frequently. They'd even had a lengthy discussion about marriage at one point. It all seemed like positive forward motion for their relationship.

A knock sounded at his office door.

Morgan lifted his eyes to greet Hotch. "Thought you were already gone," he spoke.

"Headed out now," the team leader nodded toward the direction of the elevators down the hall. "Figured you'd be out of here as well," he paused for a moment. "Don't you have anything better to do on a Friday night? Even I have a date lined up."

"Beth?"

Hotch nodded affirmation.

From the silence and the look on his supervisor's face, Derek knew something more was on Hotch's mind. He had a pretty good idea what it was about. "I do have someone to spend the weekend with," Morgan ventured, testing the waters. "She's probably at my place right now. But it's… complicated."

Another nod came from Hotch. "I've been avoiding that subject," he responded, slipping inside the office fully. "But I have some advice for you, if you're interested."

"Yeah, sure," Derek was slightly leery, but welcomed the honesty he knew he'd get from his colleague.

"Don't keep it a secret," Hotch said plainly. "What I saw at that warehouse a month or so ago, it will undoubtedly happen again. And I've been keeping it to myself, even though I should probably report it. However, Strauss will be back in a few weeks and if she gets wind of anything it will be up to her discretion as to how to process. If you and Prentiss are serious about what's going on then be up front with it," he suggested. "It'll be better in the long run than keeping things a secret."

With a deep breath, Morgan nodded. He had a feeling Hotch was right. And he didn't want to sneak around the issue. "Can I ask you something, on a personal level?"

"Okay," Hotch waited with interest knowing it was rare for Derek to make such a request.

"How do you feel about it?" Morgan asked, "Emily and me?"

Hotch's face remained the picture of control, but his eyes sparkled just a little. "What I've learned the last few years is that the cliché is true; life is short. I don't know if Beth and I will ever be anything more than just good friends, but I know it feels good to live again. If that's what you and Prentiss are feeling, hold on to it as long as you can." Hotch edged toward the door but he paused. "That means not staying here all Friday night if she's waiting for you at home," he called back before exiting the office.

Derek was a little surprised by the man's forwardness, but also touched.

He smiled and closed his file.

xxx

Emily was on her knees in front of the sofa, her shoes kicked off and resting underneath the coffee table in Derek's living room. She held Sergio in her arms as they both looked to Clooney who was asleep again, curled up in his usual corner of the sofa. "I anticipate that we're going to be spending more time here, Serg, at least I hope so," she spoke softly to the oft times impatient cat. "Which means it would be to your benefit to become friends with Clooney."

The cat mewed nonchalantly and attempted to escape her embrace.

"Here's what I think the secret is," Emily held firm, keeping Sergio close. "Clooney is a lot older than you, so you're going to have to meet him on his level. I guess that means you learn to take a lot of naps. Now I know you're good at that," she eyed the inky feline. "Aren't you?"

Sergio looked unimpressed by the one-sided conversation.

"So, here you go…" she finally sat Sergio down on the sofa. "Just curl up with him and take a nap," Emily suggested. But Sergio swiped at the dog's tail and then leapt off the sofa in a flurry of motion. He was more content to prowl around the coffee table several times, sniffing her shoes each time around. A sigh escaped Emily's lips. "You gotta work with me a little here, Serg. Maybe a demonstration is in order," Emily had a crazy idea.

She got up on the sofa and curled up next to the dog.

Clooney opened one eye and huffed. Then he closed his eye again and went back to snoring softly.

Laughter came from behind her.

"Oh, jeez!" Emily yelped, jumping up and springing away from the sofa to see Derek standing behind her. His laughter grew. "I didn't even hear you come in."

He was still chuckling as he answered. "Too busy performing your cat whispering routine," Derek teased. He was not thwarted by the roll of her eyes or even the childish way she stuck her tongue out at him. Morgan walked around the sofa and hugged her. His lips met hers, grateful when she didn't pull away. "I snuck in the back door, sorry."

Emily relaxed into his embrace. "I guess it is your house," she acknowledged. "You can come and go as you please."

His lips brushed against her left cheek. "I want you to feel comfortable here, Emily. I'll try to be louder next time. Although I really did enjoy watching you try to play peacemaker between Sergio and Clooney," he chuckled again.

"Right…" she was sufficiently embarrassed. "Exactly how much of that did you witness?"

"Enough," Derek took her hand and led her back to the sofa. He sat down and guided her to do the same.

She decided that his lap looked like the most comfy place to situate herself, and Derek was welcome to the idea. "So, how was your day at the office, dear?" Emily asked with a super sweet tone that was very unlike her. "Did you fight off all the bad guys and save the day?"

"You're a little crazy," he replied, but kissed her nonetheless. When they pulled apart he grinned. "I wasn't at the office much longer than you. And I believe you're the one who kicked the last bad guys' butt," Derek recalled.

"And don't you forget it, mister," Emily joked, casually tapping his chest with her index finger.

"So…" he hated to disrupt her obviously playful mood. "Hotch stopped by my office shortly before I left tonight." Derek went on to tell her how that conversation had gone and Hotch's advise to them. "I think it's a good idea, but I want us both to be on the same page about it. I meant what I said a few weeks ago about not turning back now. Whatever happens at work, I want you in my life," Derek reiterated.

"Likewise," she confirmed with a stiff nod. "Then I guess when Strauss returns we tell her the truth about us."

He nodded warily. "You make it sound so easy."

Sergio jumped onto the back of the sofa and walked to the end where Clooney was still laid out in blissful sleep. The cat made a quick swipe at the dog's tail and then took off again, his black paws pelting lightly down the hardwood hall toward the kitchen. Emily groaned. "I think talking to Strauss might actually be easier than getting Sergio and Clooney to bond."

"I wouldn't worry too much about Clooney and Sergio," Morgan dismissed her concern. "Sergio's still a youngster, right? So he's kind of like the kid on the playground who tugs on the girl's ponytail as a way to show her he likes her. Or the slapping her on the shoulder thing. Or the ignoring her bit."

Her eyes lit with a smile. "Oh, sort of like how you pretended not to like me all these years?"

"Say what, now?" Morgan lunged for her ribcage, which he'd recently discovered to be extremely ticklish.

She squirmed, trying to break free from his clutches. "You know you wanted to pull my ponytail all those times we worked together in the field," Emily tried to distract him since she knew she wasn't powerful enough to overcome his physical strength.

"Well, I do have a secret to reveal…" Derek replied, gently pinning her against the sofa. His lips trailed desirously along her neck and shoulder. "You have a very sexy ponytail."

Emily easily succumbed to his silly attempts at seduction. "When do we get to the slapping part?" she inquired with a wink.

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	13. Hundred

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

**Thank you all for your lovely comments!**

* * *

><p><strong>Hundred<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>As they turned down the animal and baby aisle Emily suddenly realized that she had one hand on the shopping cart handle and so did Derek. She contemplated pulling hers away, wondering how they'd gone from team mates to pushing carts together in the grocery store in as little as ten weeks. In the end it was Morgan who pulled his hand off first, but only to sling a medium sized bag of dog food onto the bottom of their cart.<p>

He turned to face her with arched brows. "Sergio is good on litter, but he needs food, right?"

Emily swallowed and nodded, facing their new domestic life together with surprisingly little fear. "Yep, that green and white one there," she pointed.

Derek retrieved the item for her and placed it next to Clooney's food bag, which was about the closest their two animals ever dared to get these days. A few seconds later Derek's hand was beside hers again helping to guide the cart through the store. "You know what this means, don't you?" he asked.

"What means?" Emily was a bit confused as they walked past shelves crowded with diapers and formula.

"This, us… shopping together," he waved his free hand at the half-full cart they were pushing around. Their late night shopping trip had come out of necessity. Back-to-back cases had rendered Derek's kitchen almost empty. "We're buying dog food and cat food and…" he plucked an item out of their cart. "Toothpaste for goodness sake," Derek tossed it back into the main basket. "And we're almost to the toilet paper aisle, which we need," he chuckled. "Face it, Emily; we're all but married here."

She nodded slowly in agreement, but a smile was not forthcoming as she thought about what he'd just said. Tiny fears and doubts stabbed at the back of her mind again as they continued to fill their cart with milk, juice and coffee. A few fruits, veggies and frozen pizza followed. After that came canned goods. But it wasn't until she found herself roaming aimlessly, an unnamable craving prickling her thoughts, that Emily knew exactly how much she loved Derek Morgan.

"What do you want?" he asked, one arm wrapped about her waist.

It was that intuition of his that finally made her crack a smile despite the small remaining fears. "I don't know… something," she shrugged.

"Glad you cleared that up for me," he remarked with amusement. Derek regarded her for a moment longer before a light went off in his head. "This is the way you want to go," Morgan guided her back toward the dairy cases. "Here it is," he swept open one glass door with ease and removed a half-gallon carton. "Chocolate milk."

Her smile became complete. "How did you know that's what I wanted? I didn't even know."

"Today is the twenty-first," Morgan spoke as he placed the chocolate milk in the cart. "Which means it's been almost twenty-eight days since your last period," he stated as if it were any other fact. "And you always want chocolate milk at this time of the month," Derek concluded as he pushed the cart toward the candy aisle. "And peanut butter M&Ms."

She stared at him for a while. "You keep track?"

"It's in my best interest," he grinned. "So I can know to steer clear of you, or stock up on chocolate," Morgan scooped up a few bags of the M&Ms and tossed them into the cart.

"Think you're pretty smart, don't ya?"

"I know I am," Derek crowed. He gave her a quick peck on the lips before turning their cart toward the checkout stands. "I grew up in a house of women, Emily. Thankfully they were all synced up from living together so I usually only had to avoid the place for five to seven days at a time," he chuckled.

Emily produced a few canvas shopping bags and placed them on the conveyor before they each started tossing items onto the belt. She felt a small twinge of apprehension as Derek went to pay. Emily let him be, though, realizing they really were all but married – buying groceries together and allowing him to pay. She put those thoughts out of her mind as she noticed the hundred dollar bill in Derek's hand. Emily turned to the female clerk.

"Tell me something," Emily began, eyeing the young blonde woman in a store-issued red polo shirt. "I have this theory that only guys carry around and pay for things with hundred dollar bills. What do you think? You must see a lot of folks every day, does that theory hold true?"

"Come to think of it, yeah…" the clerk nodded. "It is usually the guys who pay in large bills. My dad and brothers do that. I never walk around with hundred dollar bills in my wallet."

"Neither do I," Emily agreed. "And yet most wallet snatchers go for the woman's bag."

The clerk laughed. "So true."

"I guess they figure woman are less likely to fight back," Emily remarked.

"Not me," the woman said. "I've got pepper spray and I'm not afraid to use it," she concluded.

"Good for you," Morgan surprised them both, not seeming to mind their conversation even though it was somewhat at his expense.

The female clerk smiled while counting Derek's change back to him. "Have a good evening," she cheerily bid them farewell.

Emily walked beside Derek as he pushed the full cart of groceries through the dark parking lot. She noticed how quiet he was, but his eyes kept glancing her way. "Why do you keep looking at me like that?" she finally asked.

"Like what?" he shrugged.

Her lips pursed. "Like… I don't know. It's kind of unnerving."

"I just like looking at you… because I love you," Derek declared as they stopped behind his SUV. He hit the unlock button on his key fob and opened the back doors. "I love that you're chatty with store clerks and that you have these odd theories about money that rattle around in your head. And I love that you're not biting my head off right now for saying that I love you even when you're PMS-y and…"

She held a hand up. "You should probably stop while you're still ahead," Emily warned.

"You're probably right," he agreed with a happy smile as they began to load grocery bags into the vehicle.

xxx

Sergio zipped across the kitchen floor and slid to a stop beside her. "Hey, buddy," Emily happily greeted the cat. "Where's your friend, Clooney? Is he taking another nap?"

The cat leapt onto the counter where she was removing canned goods from a shopping bag. "Get down, you," Emily gently scolded the animal. "You know better, Serg. Counters are off limits," she reminded him. He jumped down, seeming to understand her tone of voice if not her words. "You're gonna get us kicked out of this place," Emily eyed the feline as he brushed against hers legs and followed her to the pantry. "We don't want that, do we?"

"Toilet paper, toothpaste, laundry soap, dog and cat food are all put away," Morgan announced as he entered the kitchen where Emily was stacking pasta and canned soup in the pantry. "How about some late night nachos?" Derek suggested. "Chips, chili and cheese all in the microwave… easy to make."

Emily wrinkled her nose as she shooed Sergio away so she could close the pantry door. "And heartburn all night long," she replied. "Maybe eggs and toast would be a better choice?"

He nodded. "Sounds good, here…" Derek slid a loaf of wheat bread down the counter toward her. "You're on toast duty. I'll grab the eggs." He went to the fridge to get the eggs and found her carton of chocolate milk untouched. Knowing she'd been too focused on putting things away, Derek sneakily poured her a glass while she had her back turned to him. As she tended the toaster he approached from behind, nuzzled her neck and presented the glass to her.

"You're too good to be true," Emily relaxed against him and took a sip of the chocolaty treat.

"Move in," he whispered against her ear.

She pulled away and turned to face him. "What?"

Derek took her free hand, weaving his fingers through hers. "You already spend most of your time here with me. Your go bag sits next to mine in the hall closet. I walked into the bathroom yesterday to find a lacy black bra hung over the shower curtain rod. Sergio stays here with Clooney when we're on a case. And we buy toothpaste together. So, why don't you move in with me, permanently," he made the suggestion a little more clear.

"I don't know… my apartment…" Emily realized she didn't have much of an argument planned, just residual doubts.

"You're never there, Emily. Sergio's never there," Morgan noted with a gently persistent tone. "And you told me last week that place has never really felt like home to you."

Her head nodded without having to think about it. "No place has since I've been back, except here with you," Emily admitted.

His brows were raised in anticipation. "Then… that's a yes?"

Emily couldn't help love his tenacity. "If you're sure, but you don't even have walls in the laundry room…" she was cut off by Derek's lips pressed against hers. Before she knew it her glass of chocolate milk had fallen onto the floor, a mess of broken glass and liquid.

Neither of them minded as Derek lifted her onto the cool marble countertop, his hands tugging eagerly at the hem of her shirt. "I also know you get very horny just before you're about to start," Derek whispered.

"Not going to deny that," she wrapped her legs about his torso and closed her eyes. Emily easily gave herself over to him as their kisses swiftly intensified.

The sound of a cell phone interrupted them; first Derek's and then hers. Each was a single chime denoting a text message.

"We should probably… check… that…" her whispered tone was cut off by his lips nipping at her earlobe. "Could be… important…" Emily half-heartedly added.

Morgan tried very hard to ignore her words and the cell phones, but he knew only their job would send a message so late. He reluctantly pulled away from Emily and grabbed both their phones. "Garcia," they spoke in unison, reading the rather cryptic message about Arizona and wheels up in an hour.

Emily jumped down and spotted Sergio circling the spilled milk like a shark with its prey. He was about to take a lick when she stopped his forward movement. "Sorry, Sergio, no chocolate milk for you," she shook her head while Derek went to retrieve some paper towels.

"It probably wouldn't be enough chocolate to make him sick," Morgan noted.

"But he needs to learn boundaries," she responded. "He's still not so good with rules," Emily admitted as she watched Clooney saunter into the kitchen. He also seemed curious by the mess on the floor. Sergio kept lunging for the milk while she swatted him away. She noticed the old bulldog regarding Sergio with something akin to amusement. It was sweet to see the animals finally bonding, even if it was more like one sibling laughing at the other. For some reason it cemented her resolve.

She couldn't help smile at Derek as they mopped up the mess, both on their hands and knees.

He caught her starring as he'd been doing earlier. "So much for a nice evening sipping chocolate milk," Derek sighed, "Among other things."

"At least we have a place to come home to… together," Emily grinned.

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	14. Shelter

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

* * *

><p><strong>Shelter<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>The parking garage was dark and quiet.<p>

Emily darkened her world even more, closing her eyes as she relaxed against the comfy seat of the stationary SUV. She had her passenger side window rolled down a crack for some air circulation while she waited. After the case in Arizona she longed for a bed and a comforter to curl up beneath. And having Derek beside her was at the top of her wish list as well, but she wasn't so sure about that option. Emily wasn't even certain about his state of mind at the moment.

He'd been silent on the jet ride home to Quantico. With his headphones firmly covering his ears, no one had bothered him.

She was roused from her worried thoughts by the hushed tones of JJ and Morgan's voices as they walked through the dimly lit parking garage. Thankfully their words were too muted for her to overhear anything. But she still felt a bit guilty of eavesdropping when Derek opened the driver's side door and mutely took in her presence. "Hi," was the only word that seemed willing to leave her mouth for a moment.

"How long have you been sitting out here?" he asked, sliding into the leather seat beside her and closing his door.

"Sorry, I used the key you gave me. We did ride here together," she stated, not really answering his question. "But I guess I should've called a cab or got a ride with Rossi or Garcia. I just wanted to see you first, but I can go back to my place tonight if you want." Emily realized she was rambling, having found plenty words to make up for her earlier lack. Finally she stopped and waited for some sort of reaction from him.

His head nodded in response to what she'd said. "Yeah, you should go home," Derek agreed. But his words were not dismissive as he reached out and took her hand. He brought it to his lips and kissed her palm ever-so-softly. Then he looked her in the eye. "But it's _our_ home now, remember? Clooney and Sergio are waiting for us. And I'm sure the chocolate milk is still good," Morgan let her hand go and turned the key in the ignition.

"I thought you'd want to be alone," Emily replied even as she latched her seatbelt. "I can take Sergio and go to my apart…"

"No," he didn't let her finish. "I don't want to be alone, Emily," Derek's tone was adamant but not stern in any way. "Not tonight. Never again," he concluded.

xxx

The living room was extremely quiet aside from Clooney's soft snores. He was nestled in his usual spot while Sergio lay curled atop the back of the sofa, sleeping blissfully. They were the only two in the house who could sleep. Derek sat with his arms wrapped tightly around Emily. No lamp was lit. They'd been sitting for a long time without a single word passed between them. Emily wanted to ask him questions, about the case, about his past with Carl Buford. But none of it seemed right.

When Derek finally spoke, his voice was a whisper filled with both malice and regret, "I wanted to kill him."

Emily wasn't sure if he was talking about Buford or Allen. Both, most likely. "I know," was all she could bring herself to let slip.

"Do you?" his head shook as he stared at the empty fireplace. "Hitting him wasn't enough. I wanted my hands around his neck… I wanted to…"

A chill ran down her spine as she listened. "Derek, you didn't."

"If Rossi and Hotch hadn't been there to stop me, I might have…" he trailed off, taking a deep breath. "Just a few weeks ago I sat here and told you how much the deaths were taking a toll, on all of us. Too many deaths. But that man…" again his words floated through the air unfinished. "He'll sit in prison, hopefully rot there. But it still doesn't make up for what he did to Angel. That boy's life will never be the same," Morgan practically growled. "Never."

She turned her head and pressed her cheek against his shoulder knowing he was speaking from experience. Emily didn't feel like she could get close enough to calm his anger, but she did her best to try. "At least he'll have a life," she countered, "Because he was strong enough to get away. And because he was strong enough to open up to you and tell you what happened to him. That strength will guide him the rest of his life. And so will you."

His left hand caressed her neck. "Me?"

"Angel will always remember you," Emily spoke with conviction, "Even if the two of you never cross paths again. You're the first person he opened up to about what happened. You gave him shelter from the storm in his mind. You did the same for me just a few months ago when I showed up on your doorstep uncertain about where my life was headed next."

Morgan brushed a lock of hair behind her ear and kissed her forehead. "And you did the same thing for Samantha. You made her feel safe enough to relive the past," Derek acknowledged. "It was kind of like the old days, us working together. Except we weren't even partnered up this time," his lips curled upward ever-so-slightly.

Emily understood his underlying meaning. "We do make a pretty good team, even if we're not in the same room," she smiled for him.

"I'll put up proper walls in the laundry room," he responded.

Her brows bunched at the sudden change of topic. "What?"

"If not having laundry room walls is a deal breaker for you moving in then I'll finish the walls for you. And you can paint them whatever color you like," Derek insisted.

Another smile lit her eyes. "I've never painted a room before," she was actually intrigued by the idea. "I think maybe a nice shade of lavender would work in that space," Emily mused aloud. Mostly she was trying to gage his reaction to the color choice, given that the rest of the house had been refinished in hues of beige and green.

"If that's what you want," Morgan nodded.

Her brief moment of amusement faded swiftly with the realization of his offer. Coupled with what he'd said to her earlier about never wanting to be alone again, Emily felt her heart break a little. "I'm not going anywhere," she whispered reassuringly. "I don't care if there are walls in the laundry room or not. I'll admit I've had my doubts and I'm still worried I'm going to mess things up. But I thought we already made it pretty clear, this is it, you and me," she vowed. "You're stuck with me, pal," Emily declared.

"Good," he relaxed a little more.

Silence filled the room again for a short time, but it was comfortable.

"JJ invited us over to hang out with her and Will this Saturday," Derek was the one to break the quiet again. "As long as no cases come up," he amended. "Just to watch some baseball, maybe take Henry to the park or go out for a bite to eat," Derek explained. "I said I'd run it by you first."

Emily was a little shocked by the way he seemed so nonchalant about it. "She asked both of us, through you?"

"One couple to another," he clarified.

"So she knows we're a couple?" Emily continued to question him.

He grinned more fully than before and kissed her cheek. "Yep, I mentioned it to her on the way down to the parking garage tonight."

With a relieved sigh, Emily smiled too. "I guess that means we're taking Hotch's advice to heart, not keeping things secret."

"Yep," Derek nodded. "So what do you think about Saturday? Give you a chance to cuddle with Henry."

"He does seem to like me," she shrugged.

That response seemed to settle the matter of their weekend plans. And Derek desperately hoped they had a weekend to look forward to. But something else was on his mind and had been ever since they'd left Arizona. He didn't know the best way to approach the subject, though. "Speaking of kids… do you still think about having a baby?" he finally asked.

His question didn't rock her. She was too relaxed to read anything more into it than passing interest. "Not so much these days, why?"

"What about an older child?" Derek inquired, his thoughts still focused heavily on Angel. "What about adoption or fostering an older child? Have you ever thought about that?"

She nodded. "Sure. I almost brought Carrie Ortiz home with me after that home invasion case in Denver years ago. And you know I risked my life to keep Declan safe from Doyle."

Morgan had never heard about the girl, but he wasn't terribly surprised given that he did know the sacrifice she'd made for Declan. "There are so many other kids out there, Emily; so many kids who aren't as lucky as Angel, Carrie or Declan. We were able to find Angel and Carrie's families, but some kids don't have any family to support them. I think we could help some kids like that. Provide shelter for them."

"I think so too," she easily agreed.

"Then we should talk about it some more?" he pressed.

"We will," Emily replied, shifting her weight against the length of his body. "But no more talking tonight," she kissed him softly. "Take me to bed?"

Derek knew they were both too tired for her suggestion to involve anything other than sleeping. And he was fine with that.

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	15. Celebrate

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

* * *

><p><strong>Celebrate<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>"Sextet…" she arranged the letters and counted them up, "On a triple word score… that makes thirty-nine points," Emily declared with a triumphant grin.<p>

Derek and his partner each frowned at the point value. Morgan lamented the group decision the four of them had made to play guys against girls. Mainly because he and Will were not doing well at all against their female counterparts, JJ and Emily. "I don't think we should be allowing dirty words in this family-friendly game of Scrabble," Derek voiced his opinion, eyes roaming the room to check for the little guy. "Henry could easily overhear what we say."

"Nice try," Will chuckled. "He went to the bathroom, remember?"

"And you're still losing," JJ taunted.

With a hand to his chest, Derek feigned a hurt look. "You know, I never took you for the rubbing-of-salt-in-wounds type," he remarked.

"Alright… to your corners, both of you," Emily joked. "And…" she eyed Derek in particular. "FYI… sextet is not a dirty word," she let him know while doing her best not to laugh. "It means a group of six," she defined.

Morgan's brows shot up his forehead. "That sure sounds a lot dirtier than a group of three."

Emily finally laughed. They'd had to postpone the gathering a week due to a case, but now she and JJ were seated on the carpeted floor with legs curled beneath a coffee table. Will and Derek had commandeered the sofa for themselves. Some of the sofa cushions were missing, though, being used as walls for Henry's fort. The guys had helped Henry build the structure before their Scrabble game. JJ and Will's apartment was small, but cozy - the perfect place to spend a rainy Saturday afternoon off from work.

"Mommy," Henry's sweet voice called out from down the hall. "Need help, pweese!"

"Coming, baby," JJ answered as she jumped to her feet.

"I'll go with you," Emily said, needing a break from her spot on the floor. She stood and followed her friend down the hallway to the bathroom, stretching her arms and rolling her neck as they went to find Henry. He was still in the bathroom seated on the toilet. His special potty seat, which fit over the toilet, allowed his little legs to swing back and forth.

Henry aimed his cheery smile at them as they entered the small room. "All done, mommy. Need help wiping," he announced.

JJ didn't bat an eye as she plucked a wet wipe from a container on the back of the toilet and helped the boy. "Ah, the joys of parenthood," JJ flashed a half-smile at Emily. "People don't often tell you this, but bum wiping doesn't necessarily stop as soon as they're potty trained," she informed her friend.

"So I see," Emily nodded. She waited as JJ instructed Henry to wash his hands. The boy stood on a blue wooden stool and still had to stretch a bit to reach the hot water faucet. JJ stayed close helping him through every step of the process. Wash, rinse, dry, and push the stood back under the sink. She gave all those instructions with a calm tone of voice.

When he was all done the little guy looked to JJ with pleading eyes. "Can daddy and Derek play fort with me some more?"

"Why don't you go ask them," JJ encouraged the child, shooing him out the door.

Henry took off at full speed as JJ and Emily lagged behind. "You're so good with him," Emily noted, "So patient and kind."

With a shrug, JJ replied, "I've had three and a half years of practice. I like to think I've gotten things down pretty well in that span of time. But I also try not to get a big head, because something new always comes up. Like the other day when Henry walked in on Will and me in the shower… you know," she waved her hand wildly.

"I'm guessing it wasn't a sextet," Emily chuckled.

"Nope… naked party of two," JJ confirmed. "And even as young as he is, Henry had questions."

"What did you say?"

"Glossed over most of it… said it's something only mommies and daddies do when they love each other very much," JJ sighed. "And then I sent Will to the hardware store to buy a lock for our bedroom door. Because it'll only get more awkward the older he gets."

Emily cringed. "Not sure how I'd handle that kind of situation," she mused.

They paused in the hallway, JJ placing a hand against her friend's arm. "Are you and Derek thinking about having kids? A baby?" she inquired with curious brows arched.

"Probably not a baby," Emily quickly responded. "I was thinking about the baby thing, but I'm not exactly a spring chicken. As attested by the fact that I just used the spring chicken expression," she laughed. "But we did have a conversation the other day about the possibility of adoption or fostering an older child."

"Because of what happened with Angel," JJ easily guessed. "That would be a huge undertaking, but I think the two of you would be great guardians or parents." She smiled as they continued walking. "I just can't believe Derek was the one who told me about you two, and not you," she gently jabbed her elbow into Emily's side. "How long have the two of you been together? Morgan didn't go into much detail. And I was surprised enough not to ask."

Emily tried to hide the happy grin on her face as she responded. "Almost three months."

JJ had no trouble noticing the smile. "Yeah, but the two of you have been attracted to one another longer than that, right?"

Feeling somewhat like a teenager again, Emily actually felt heat spring into her cheeks. "On my part, yes," she answered.

"And his," JJ stated with certainty. "Is it kind of weird though?"

"I had my doubts at first, still have a few now," Emily admitted. "But we're planning to live together, talking about kids and Hotch knows. So…"

"Wait a minute, you told Hotch about this?" the younger woman was shocked. "That is pretty serious business if he knows." JJ led her friend into the kitchen so they could talk a bit longer without the guys overhearing. "You seem happy, though. Really happy," she was glad of the fact, remembering a year ago when she'd traveled all the way to France only to be able to say a few brief words to her friend. Neither one of them had been sure they'd ever see each other again. "Take my advice, don't have doubts. Just celebrate it," she encouraged.

Emily wrapped her arms around her friend. "Thank you," she whispered.

"Am I interrupting?" Morgan asked as he stepped into the kitchen. "Henry wants some juice and I said it'd get it."

Pulling away from JJ and switching her attention to Derek, Emily kissed his cheek. "Bring some more wine, too, would you? That is the _losing_ team's job," Emily concluded, wearing a bold grin as she edged toward the living room.

Derek shook his head as he watched her go, but he was more aware that JJ had remained in the room.

"Henry likes apple juice best in his superman cup," JJ informed her co-worker, pointing toward the upper cupboard next to the refrigerator. She remained in the kitchen for a moment longer, watching as he found the superman cup and began to fill it. "I know you and I have never been very close," JJ began. He turned to face her. "I feel like you didn't trust me much during my earlier years with the team."

"JJ, I…"

"It's okay," she stopped him. "I think maybe we're both more alike than we ever cared to realize; guarded and mistrusting. But I just wanted you to know that I've enjoyed working with you more closely these last few months," JJ paused a second. "And I want you to know I approve of you and Emily. However… she's one of my best friends, and if you ever hurt her you'll have me to deal with as well," she warned with a cryptic smile before exiting the kitchen.

xxx

"She really said that to you?" Emily was both amused and slightly worried as she lay in bed curled beside Derek.

"There wasn't any malice behind her words, just love," he assured her. "JJ really cares about you, but you probably already know that. The whole team went through a lot last year with what happened to you. I blamed her and Hotch for keeping their secrets. Some days it still bothers me, but I know they were just trying to protect you. She's being a good friend to you and I have to admire that," Derek revealed, having gained respect for the newest profiler on their team.

Her grateful smile was half buried against his chest. "Does that mean you had a good time today?" Emily inquired. "You weren't bored?"

His head shook in response. "No, not bored at all." Derek lazily stroked her hair while regarding her with an inquiring gaze. "Even a few months ago I probably couldn't have imagined you and I hanging out with Will and JJ. But I had a good time with them."

Emily let go a contented sigh. "I'm glad, and not just about you and JJ getting along," she let him know, "I thought maybe I was getting a bit too boring for you."

Again his curiosity was peaked. "After everything we've been through together I'd have to say you're far from boring," Derek insisted.

"But since we've been together we mostly hang out here," she replied. "Watching TV or curling up in front of the fire. We even go grocery shopping together," Emily chuckled. "In the not-so-distant past I used to spend my nights going out dancing or drinking," Emily thought about that for a moment and realized something surprising. "I feel very settled here with you. I don't feel that desire I once had to drown my sorrows or try to find ways to make myself happy. I actually am happy."

Morgan smiled and kissed her forehead with genuine affection. He couldn't help loving her even more every time she opened up to him. "I used to be the same way, flitting from one thing to another to take my mind off the fact that I was wandering aimlessly. Staying home with you, Clooney and Sergio - even playing Scrabble all Saturday with friends - that's all I need to have a good time these days."

"I guess we've both changed a lot this past year," Emily felt it was for the better.

He nodded. "Kind of like… years ago I judged JJ too harshly," Derek admitted. "I'm glad to say that I see her in a different light now," Morgan opened up a little more. "And I've enjoyed working with her lately; she's got a lot of spunk and heart."

Emily chuckled. "I think only old folks use the word spunk, or sayings like spring chicken." She pressed a finger against his chest. "And you better be careful, pal," her tone was playfully warning, and a little bit seductive as she moved in closer and brushed her lips against his ear. "You do remember what happened to your last partner, don't you?" Emily maneuvered herself again so she was lying atop him. She kissed his jawline, working her way toward his lips.

"Trust me," Derek insisted, "I have no plans to fall in love with JJ. There'll be no sextet for me," he joked.

"You know, JJ said something else today; that I should stop having doubts and just celebrate. So… how about a naked party of two?" Emily suggested.

"Oh…" his hands slid to her hips as he kissed her, "I think that can definitely be arranged."

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	16. Paint

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

* * *

><p><strong>Paint<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>Emily slowly mixed her paint color using the flat wooden stick Derek had given her.<p>

She watched Morgan's backside admiringly as he balanced on a ladder, painstakingly taping off the ceiling. He didn't want her lavender wall color to bleed into the crisp white ceiling he'd painted last week. Getting any kind of project done between their work schedules was a bit difficult, but they made the time, and Emily had come to enjoy the last few weekends a great deal. Especially the first weekend she'd spent in the house with her things firmly moved in.

"You sure you don't mind the color?" Emily asked.

His eyes rolled, knowing she was having another go at him. "Not at all," Derek maintained the status quo. Apparently she hadn't been joking a month ago when she'd talked about painting their laundry room lavender. It would not have been his first choice, but he honestly didn't mind. He was glad for her to have something of her own in the place, even if the laundry room being hers sounded a bit sexist. But he liked to play that up, too.

"I just won't ever step foot in here again," he added. "Which means you can do all my laundry."

"Keep dreaming, pal," she quickly popped off.

Derek snickered as he resumed taping. He loved having her moved in, although it wasn't that much different from the state of their relationship pre-move in. Now there was more of her clothing in the bedroom closet and drawers, and a whole collection of lacy bras hanging in the bathroom. The living room bookshelves were overflowing with her additions to the library collection. And a few framed photos had joined his on the mantle above the fireplace. He rather liked the one of her and her parents on graduation day.

Most importantly, there was a new level of commitment connecting them that he wouldn't trade for any non-lavender laundry room.

"So…" she sat back and carefully dipped her brush into the paint can. "We should tell the others about this, right?" Emily painted a small patch of wall to test out the color.

"That we're painting a laundry room?" he asked, brows creased. "I doubt anyone would be terribly interested."

"Haha," her tone was dry. "I mean about you and I living together. Strauss's return has been pushed back, but I kind of think the rest of the team should know," Emily shrugged.

"Rossi has already worked it out," Morgan announced without any kind of buildup. "Though I might have helped him..." he chanced a downward glance and caught Emily staring at him, obviously curious about his revelation. "When we were in Reno last week at that night club - to track down the woman Juniper had been dating - there were a few women trying to get my phone number and I said something about you killing me if you knew. And Rossi said something along the lines of girlfriends frowning on that sort of thing."

Her head shook. "Lovely," Emily's sarcasm was thick. "I particularly like the part where you substituted night club for strip club, because we both know that it was a strip club." She watched him shrug and she smiled despite feeling a bit territorial. "Then I guess I can tell you Reid knows as well," she revealed.

"Oh?"

"He's really not as clueless as we sometimes think," Emily responded as she continued to draw a little picture with the lavender paint. "When you were in the _strip_ club with Rossi, he and I were watching the back door and he noticed the scowl on my face. It wasn't hard for him to figure out it was a jealous look more than anything else."

Morgan felt a little bad, but they always did their best not to let their personal lives interfere with work. "You sure he didn't think you were jealous over Rossi being in there?"

"I _am_ partial to good Italian pasta and wine," she sassed.

"Now that's cruel…" he swung around but stopped short of what he was about to say when he spotted her drawing. "Emily, what the heck are you doing?" Derek couldn't help laugh.

Emily shrugged. "Just wanted to try out the color," she grinned at her drawing. "And I guess all this talk of strip clubs made my mind wander to naughty thoughts... and pictures," she realized, noticing the male anatomy diagram she'd just painted was rather detailed. "Wait a sec," she blocked his view and painted something else real quick. Emily then moved so he could see her newest artistic endeavor. "A little something for you… rather, two something's," she chuckled.

"You've got a dirty mind, woman," he needlessly pointed out as he descended the ladder and moved toward her.

"It won't show, will it?"

Derek's brows rose. "Your dirty mind?"

"I meant my drawing," she clarified. "If we paint over it, will it bleed through?"

His head shook. "Nah. Painting isn't like when you breathe on a window and draw an image that returns when the glass fogs up again."

"And you say I have a dirty mind, but now you're talking about heavy breathing and fogging up windows," Emily taunted as she used her brush to paint the front of his t-shirt. Two lavender dots appeared side-by-side, along with a downward curve. Smiley face.

"Real mature," Morgan glanced at his painted shirt. He ran one finger through a glob of paint and then swiped it down her nose.

"Hey!" she yelped in protest, holding her paint brush like a sword. "At least I only painted your clothes, not skin."

He grabbed her waist and drew her closer. Derek used his finger to paint a heart on her cheek before kissing her lips. "Water based, it'll wash off," he assured her. Then in a soft whisper against her ear, "I'll gladly help you wash it off in the shower later. Then we can play around with the real counterparts to the ones in your drawings," Morgan suggested.

"Or now… right here on the dryer?" Emily nodded her head toward the washer and dryer that they'd covered with a drop cloth.

With great restraint, Morgan took a step back. "As tempted as I am by this new side of you…"

"I'm pretty sure you've already seen all my sides," she interrupted. "Like last week… in the kitchen?" Emily attempted to jog his memory.

His memory needed very little jolting. "Damn, woman…" he breathed out, walking with concentrated effort back to the ladder. "We have some work to do before we can play."

Emily was about to entice him again when she looked down to find a very curious black cat dipping his front paws into the lavender paint. "Oh, no you don't…" Emily cringed. She carefully crept toward Sergio, hoping to catch him before he took off. But she was too late. He spooked at her approaching footsteps and ran away, rustling the plastic drop cloth on the floor. "I think we have a cat to catch before we can get to work," she lamented, quickly heading toward the door.

"What the…" Morgan watched Sergio's backside. He could already see lavender paw prints marring his immaculately restored hardwood floors. "I'll kill him," Derek mumbled.

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	17. Lavender

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

**Thank you all so much for your lovely comments! Work has been crazy busy, but I did squeeze this little fic out. Hope you enjoy it. :)**

* * *

><p><strong>Lavender<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>"That is absolutely adorable," Garcia crooned as she sashayed into Morgan's office and spotted the stuffed bunny on his desk. "But you didn't have to get me an Easter gift."<p>

Derek shook his head regretfully. "I, uh… truth is it's not for you, baby girl," he finally revealed. Morgan grabbed the stuffed animal and held it at arm's length. "Actually, I'm not even sure if I'm gonna give it to the person I had in mind," doubts clouded his tone.

Penelope was poised at the edge of his desk, curiosity practically leeching from her pores. "And who might that be?"

"My girlfriend," he replied.

That revelation gave Garcia's curiosity a huge jolt. "I'm almost certain that in all the years I've know you, you've never used the term girlfriend for any of your lady friends," she pointed out. "So, pray tell… who is this girlfriend of yours?"

His mouth hung open for a moment realizing that he and Emily had just assumed everyone on their team already knew. But somehow one of his dearest friends didn't seem to have a clue about the seriousness of his and Emily's relationship. "Well, I know you already like her. And I hope you'll approve." Derek knew he was stalling and easily figured out why. "I guess I've been guarding you from this, because of what happened recently with you and Kevin."

Her head nodded slowly, eyes a bit less wide than earlier. Kevin's absence in her life was still felt. "It's sweet of you to think of my feelings, but that's no reason to hide your own happiness," Garcia insisted. "And you are happy, I can see it. Now that I let myself think about it, you've been a lot happier lately than in a very long time."

"You hit that one on the head," he agreed.

She held her hand palms up. "And yet you still haven't told me… wait a minute…" her brain switched into gear. "I already like her?" Penelope finally registered those words. "It's someone I know? Not that Tamara woman from a year or so ago?" she frowned. "Of course you know I didn't really approve of that, so probably not. But who else would I know… and someone you've obviously been seeing for a while, except our case load has been very heavy lately and…" she stopped short, eyes wide again. "Emily!"

Morgan chuckled at the lack of question in her tone as she spoke Emily's name. He simply nodded.

"You little scamp… you've both been keeping this a secret… for how long?" Garcia shook her head, but the ear-to-ear grin belayed any angry sentiment.

"We've been living together for a few weeks," Derek replied.

Garcia gently smacked his shoulder, but her eyes softened even more. "At least I'm the first you told." She watched him grimace. "What… second?"

"Well, you see…" he wasn't normally so hesitant around her. Morgan felt bad, though, as he revealed the truth. "The rest of the team already knows," he admitted.

With furrowed brows, Penelope hit him again. "Thanks a lot," she was only mildly upset with her friend. "I guess I haven't been the easiest person to talk to lately," Garcia sighed. "But I'd never not be happy for you," she insisted. "Especially you and Emily. That is possibly the best news I could ever think of for you, for both of you."

He stood and hugged her. "Thanks, baby girl. Means a lot to me," Derek expressed. A step back was taken as he regarded the stuffed bunny again. "Do you think it's too silly? I was going for playful, childhood rekindled type sentiment. But then I'm not so sure she wants to be reminded of her childhood. She never talks about that stuff much and what little she does say is usually kind of dismal. I really don't want our first holiday together to be…"

"Derek," she stopped his meandering words, not sure she'd ever heard him lacking such confidence before. "It's sweet and she'll like it. She'll like it because you put some thought into it, and hopefully you'll spark a good memory from her childhood. Or, you'll at least create a good new memory for her."

"You're the best," Morgan kissed the top of her head.

xxx

Birds chirped merrily in the back yard.

A thin ray of sunlight crept through the window blinds, illuminating the tiny dust motes in the air.

"Hoppy Easter…" Derek whispered the words against her shoulder and then added a kiss there. He watched her eyes flick open for a half second before closing again. Morgan smiled. "I saw that. You're awake and you can't deny that you're curious about what the Easter bunny might have left for you."

Emily grunted and snuggled down under the covers some more. "Stopped believing in him when I was eight… after I spotted the maid placing my Easter basket outside my bedroom door," she mumbled all that with her eyes still firmly shut. "Now, if you want to invite the sandman back for a couple more hours I'd be interested. I just want to sleep in today."

He sat the lavender bunny on the bed between them, caressing Emily's cheek with a fluffy-soft ear from the stuffed animal. "As wonderful as that sounds," Derek agreed, "We do have plans to meet the others at the park. You don't want to miss watching Jack and Henry search for eggs, do you? Kids get up very early for such things."

"Hmm…" her exhalation was neither refusal nor acquiescence.

Derek snuggled up beside her again. "Come on, I got you a present," he ditched the Easter bunny ruse.

She smiled and finally opened her eyes for longer than a second. Her left hand pressed against his chest and then slowly traveled downward, slipping beneath the waistband of his boxer-briefs. "Doesn't feel like much of a gift at the moment," Emily frowned before her lips met his. "Isn't the chocolate Easter bunny meant to be… harder?"

"Damn, woman…" Morgan groaned in appreciation of her touch and tossed the stuffed bunny out of their bed. "One gift at a time," he easily agreed to her desire.

A short while later they lay coiled together, still languishing in the familiar feel of each other's bodies. The sun was beating through the blinds with more insistence. "Now we have considerably less time to get to the park for that egg hunt," Emily spoke, her head resting against his chest. She was still in no hurry to leave the sanctity of their bed. "Might have to shower together to save on time," she suggested.

"Except that's not going to save time," he spoke from previous experience. In a rather swift move, Derek flung the covers away, stepped across the room, swung a hand down to retrieve his other gift and then hurried back into bed. "Happy Easter," he presented the bunny to her again.

A smile sprung to her lips. "It's sweet," she cuddled the stuffed animal and gave Derek a quick thank you kiss. Emily studied the bunny for a moment, noticing its serious face, which seemed a bit incongruent with a child's toy. "Did I ever tell you why I like the color lavender?"

"Actually, no," Derek snuggled up beside her again and awaited the reason.

"My grandfather," she replied with a wistful tone and a far off look in her eyes. "As a girl, the best part of the year was visiting my grandfather."

He nodded. "In the French Alps."

Emily was impressed that he remembered. "Yes," she confirmed. "My parents were not very good at vacations. They never completely embraced the concept of rest and relaxation, of sitting and doing nothing but drinking ice tea or lemonade and listening to the birds sing. Even on vacation they'd meet up with friends for drinks or go to the theater or make some sort of plans. My grandfather, on the other hand, never made plans. He liked doing nothing and did it very well."

Morgan grinned. He was glad Garcia had been right. He'd touched upon a good memory for Emily. "And you enjoyed doing nothing with him?" he guessed.

"Immensely," she smiled. "Although, we would go on walks together," Emily expanded. "Long walks through the meadow or uphill in to the woods. My favorite walk was one we would take along this tiny trickle of a creek. It wound for miles and miles through the meadow and then along the edge of the forest," Emily closed her eyes, picturing it all perfectly in her mind. "The sight and smell of lavender followed us the whole time. My grandfather would pick some for me and I'd wear it my hair."

Derek could imagine it just as she'd described. "It sounds lovely." More than anything he loved when she shared small gems of her life. Discovering those hidden morsels made him proud of himself for unlocking them, and proud of her for feeling safe enough to do so. "Maybe we should go someday?"

"Really?" she rolled toward him. "Because there are so many places in Europe I'd love to share with you. France, Italy… oh, the island of Corsica," Emily practically swooned to think of it. She lamented how long it had been since her last visit there. And the bigger cities were tainted for her now, like Paris. She'd spent those seven months in hiding there because it was easiest to get lost in big cities. "The beaches of Corsica… you'd love them."

"I'm sure," he nodded, knowing he'd love being anywhere as long as it was with her. "But first we should really visit the local park."

"Egg hunt!" she exclaimed. "That's right," Emily finally felt awake and ready to face the day.

xxx

They watched and laughed as the children took off in every direction.

"Go Jack!" Derek encouraged.

"Go Henry!" Emily countered, each of them picking a child to cheer for.

Jack was fast. And an eagle-eye. He already had three eggs in his basket by the time Henry had found one to drop in his felted superman basket. The younger boy was helped out a great deal by his parents as they gave clues about where to look – up, down, under the flower, on the tree branch, and so on. Hotch just let Jack run, confident in his son's ability to stay close enough so as not to worry him. Rossi and Hotch chatted. Penelope was at the prize table, a volunteer for the morning egg hunt. Reid stuck close to her.

"Glad we came," Morgan voiced.

"Me, too," Emily nodded.

They had found a tree to relax beneath. There was a bit of sun shining but the temperature was mild – typical spring. Emily wore a sweater. Derek used her as a blanket, his legs spread so she could sit between them. He wrapped his arms about her waist, rested his chin against the crook of her neck and shoulder. Both were glad to have everyone know their secret so they could actually be a couple in public. They continued to watch the kids scurry about. While the parent's expectations were high, the kids were just having fun.

Emily spotted a little girl running toward them. Her dark hair was tied in pig tails with pink ribbon. Her dress was lavender with pink and white flowers. A wide purple sash snaked about the child's waist and was fastened at the back. She wore lavender socks with rolled over cuffs edged in lace and shiny black patent-leather shoes. Unfortunately one of her shoes came unbuckled and fell off, which caused the girl to tumble. She landed on her knees.

Her basket crashed to the grassy ground. Plastic eggs broken open. Candy lost to the grass.

A soft cry emitted from the child and Emily jumped to her feet.

She took a furtive step forward, wanting to help but guessing the girl's parents would be close. Emily looked left and right, but no one came running to the girl's rescue. "You okay?" she asked, coming up beside the child and kneeling. There were grass stains on the girl's knees, but no blood that Emily could see. "No scraps," she smiled at the girl.

"Nope," the child replied with a thin smile.

The girl was guarded. Emily admired that. She'd probably been taught it by cautious parents. Though no parents had arrived yet. "You'll be fine," Emily assured her, picking up the slightly squashed basket and helping to salvage some of the eggs and candy. She handed the basket back to the child and smiled. "I like your dress. Great color."

With a beaming smile, the girl replied with a polite, "Thank you."

"You should get back out there," Emily said as she stood. "Still plenty of eggs left."

An enthusiastic nod was the only reply the girl provided before she took off. But she paused a few feet away and turned back to Emily. She gave a quick wave and then was off again.

"We should do that."

Emily turned toward Morgan's voice. She noticed the peculiar look of desire in his eyes. Not sexual. Not impulsive. "Do what?" she inquired.

"Have a child," the words rolled off his tongue easily.

She swallowed. "Adopt? Or foster?" Emily posed. "Or… biological?"

"Any of the above, or all of the above," he shrugged.

The soft squeal of children's laughter surrounded them, kids still darting back and forth across the vast park lawn. "We've mentioned the adoption fostering thing before," she said, not exactly sure where the conversation would led this time. "But I thought you were still on the fence about being a dad."

"I am," he revealed. "Probably will be for a while, even after we have a kid. If we have a kid." Derek chuckled. "But I did show great restraint with Sergio after he got lavender paint all over my hardwood floors. That's the kind of thing bound to happen with kids around, right?"

"Hmm," she frowned. "If I recall correctly, you were broody all day after that Sergio incident. And I scrubbed all the paint off your precious floors."

He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. His hands rested at her waist. "Just like a good mommy would."

"We need to talk about this some more," she insisted. "One encounter with a sweet little girl is not making me quite as mushy as you," Emily pointed out. "Kids are a lot more than this," her right hand waved about the park. "This is the fun stuff. But there are also dirty diapers and potty training, bum wiping and skinned knees, staying up all night and illness and grades and teenaged hormones and carpools and sports and first kisses, lost virginity and broken hearts."

"I know," Morgan nodded. "And commitment," he added.

That word slid down her spine, laced with fear and anticipation. "And commitment," Emily agreed.

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	18. Laundry

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

**Between work and wanting to enjoy the sunshine while it's out, I haven't had time to write as much as I'd like. But I did squeeze this little piece out... _Warning: contains spoilers for CM 7.20 - The Company_. Please enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Laundry<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>He found her in the laundry room separating clothes.<p>

"You know I was joking about you doing my laundry, right?" Derek announced himself.

Emily shrugged, not turning around to greet him as she efficiently went about her task. "I don't mind. Since the room has proper walls and paint now, I kind of like it in here. And I actually enjoy this…" she held up one of his t-shirts and then placed it in the washer. "Being away from the stresses at work and just doing something completely mundane, utterly domestic. It's kind of relaxing," she shrugged again, adding a few final articles of clothing and then powdered soap.

As he watched and listened to her, Derek felt something was off. And not just the fact that she seemed to be enjoying doing laundry on a Wednesday night. "What's really up?" he asked, moving in closer and snaking his arms about her waist. His suspicions were pretty well confirmed when she stiffened upon his touch. "Em… what is it?"

"Nothing," her head shook as she started the washer.

Morgan moved his hands to her shoulders and gently turned her to face him. He immediately noticed the way she wouldn't make eye contact with him. "Talk to me, Emily, please?"

She let out a long breath. "I'm just a bit hormonal," Emily revealed. "Started today."

With a nod he accepted that as a valid answer. But something was still off. "Aren't you a bit late?" Derek realized that he hadn't been keeping track very well with the rash of new cases the last several weeks. He watched her nod, but no words were forth coming. His heart beat a little faster. "Did you think maybe you were…?" Morgan didn't even get the question out fully before she nodded again. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because…" she stepped away, returning to the dirty bin and sorting out whites. "We had a lot going on and…"

A twinge of anger flooded him, but Derek tried to remain calm. "Nothing matters more than what we've got going on here, Emily. You and me. And I think if a baby was a possibility you should've said something to me about it."

Spinning about on her heel, Emily faced him again. "I wasn't sure if I'd want to keep it, if I was."

The anger resurfaced, but more than that he was confused. "We've talked about the kid thing, Em. Just a few days ago on Easter. And before that you showed up on my doorstep with me in mind as the father of your child. Now you say you don't know if you'd want to keep…" he was too upset to even say the words.

"We don't really talk about it, though," she countered. "We talk all around it, just like the subject of marriage."

"And whose fault is that?" he quickly snapped.

Her eyes narrowed. "Well, I can see you clearly think it's my fault," Emily responded crossly.

He took several steps away from her. "I think we should put this conversation on hold, before both of us say things we might regret," Derek sucked down his remaining irritation. "I'm going to head out for a minute…" he shrugged, "Maybe to my office. Hotch left some reports he wants done by Friday," Morgan concluded before slipping out of the laundry room.

xxx

It was dark and quiet inside his office - no argumentative girlfriend, noting to distract him. But Derek still couldn't concentrate on work. He'd leafed through one case file for nearly a half hour without comprehending any of it. He felt horrible for the way he'd snapped at Emily. But he was also hurt that she hadn't spoken to him about any of it. He kept going back and forth over the issue, knowing he'd been up and down about the subject of marriage and kids nearly as much as she had.

Giving up on the files, Derek fell into a fitful sleep on his office sofa. He tried to ignore his ringing phone, but he also hoped it was Emily.

Seeing his older sister's name on the call screen actually relaxed him a little, until he answered.

xxx

The next time he entered the laundry room was three days after their fight. Three days after his sister's accident. Three days after revealing to his family that he'd lied about Cindi's death. Three days after helping track his long-lost cousin. Three days after finding out Cindi had a son, and that she'd fought for years to protect the child and be as close as she could to him – to the point of selling her soul to a mad-man. Three days since he'd reaffirmed the belief that he loved Emily and would do anything possible to keep her in his life.

She was on her cell; one hip leaned against the dryer. "Yeah, thanks for letting me know," Emily concluded her call. She looked up and spotted him standing in the doorway, lavender walls framing his caramel-hued skin. "That was JJ," she waved the cell phone in indication of the caller.

For the last several hours - the short flight back to DC and the drive home from the airport - Emily couldn't stop thinking about Malcolm Ford. He'd oozed chauvinism from every pore the second she and JJ had walked into the interrogation room. They hadn't put much of a dent in him either. And even though she'd joked about not dating, Emily had been abundantly aware of how lucky she was to have Derek in her life; a man who truly loved her, who would never manipulate, or intentionally hurt, her.

"They found most of the children's mothers," Emily's stubborn pride kept an apology at bay. "But some of the women were killed by their so-called husbands. The men of 'The Company' have been arrested, so now the kids go into the system. Foster care," she took a shallow breath. "After everything they've already been through, now they get farmed out to complete strangers or placed in group homes," Emily sighed again. "Doesn't really seem fair."

"Nothing about that whole situation was fair, Em," Derek insisted. Silence blanketed the room after that as he watched her open the washer. "You doing laundry again?" he switched topics, unsure of how to go about the apology that so desperately wished to escape his lips.

"Stuff I put in a few days ago got mildewed because I had to leave in a hurry for Chicago," she informed him. "And what about you? Still brooding?" The instant those last words were spoken she mentally kicked herself, wondering why she kept needling him.

He didn't like the accusation of the words, but her inflection was anything but accusatory. Derek could hear the hidden concern in her voice and it helped him uncoil. "I lied to my family, Emily," Morgan sighed regretfully. "All my life I've strived to be like my father who was the most trustworthy man I ever knew. I take pride in being trustworthy. Lying to my auntie will always be one of my biggest regrets. My family has every right not to trust me again."

Emily abandoned the stinky clothes and went to him, giving in quicker than she'd planned. "Your family loves you, Derek," her hands hovered close to his. "Yes, they'll probably be cautious around you for a while, but they'll get over it. I know they will," Emily insisted. "You may forget, but I lived through something very similar this past year. I lied to the team, to you, and it's been a bit shaky for a while, but I think I've started to regain some trust with the team. And you and I…"

His arms wrapped about her. "We're good," Derek whispered in her ear. "I hope." He took a step back. "I'm sorry about the other day."

"So am I…" Emily bit her lip. "I was scared about telling you I might be pregnant because of the way you've been worried about being a dad. Then on Easter you surprised me with your sudden willingness and I should've told you, but by then I was worried about a late-in-life pregnancy and a child who might be born with special needs. Then there was Chicago and you were so distant. Only Garcia could reach you, which made me question everything we've had these last few…"

"Hey," he finally stopped her. "I wanted to talk to you about the case, about my family. I really did. It's just so hard when we're working together. Even with everyone on the team knowing about us now, that's still our work life and," his head shook. "I don't know how to make it all run smoothly, Em." He pressed his forehead against hers. "Some days I do still worry about being a father, but other days I think I'll never know unless I try. And I also think it might not be as hard as I imagine, as long as you and I work as a team."

She smiled. "We have made a pretty good team in the past."

"We have," Morgan agreed.

"It's never going to be easy making this all work, is it?" she asked.

"Probably not," he replied, kissing her forehead. "But if it was easy, it wouldn't be half as much fun."

Emily smiled again. "I still wished you'd opened up to me rather than Garcia."

"A bit jealous, are you?" he teased her, much preferring their playful banter to the fighting. "To be honest, I didn't really open up to her. She was just her usual perceptive and pushy self. And she may be a bit corny with her hero talk, but she did help me get my head on straight."

"Not really making me feel less jealous," Emily let him know. "I wish I'd been the one there to support you. I also wish you'd wanted me to meet your family."

"I wish you'd been the one to support me, too," he admitted. "But that would've meant me opening up to you. Instead I was a stubborn oaf who let pride blind him. I've done it before, lord knows how many times," his head shook with regret. "And I'll probably do it again someday. I'm not perfect."

"Neither am I," Emily chuckled dryly. "Far from it."

He nodded. "You were helping JJ and then those kids," Derek reminded her. "That's where you were meant to be at the time, where you were doing the most good. And technically you've already met my family. But when I introduce you to them as the love of my life someday, I want it to be _your_ day. I want it to be a special moment that's not tainted by anything else," Derek revealed. "As for that busy-body friend of mine, you have no reason to be jealous of Garcia. Trust me," Derek insisted.

Her smile resurfaced, amazingly touched by his words. "Not exactly the most trustworthy guy at the moment," she teased.

His eyes narrowed.

"Sorry, too soon to make jokes about that?" Emily inquired.

"Yep," he agreed. But Derek knew her way of thinking, her way of reacting to situations with jokes. In her teasing he heard the undertones of love and forgiveness for him. He didn't feel worthy of them at all, but he wanted to prove that he was willing to strive for that. He took her hands in his and then went down on one knee.

With wide eyes, Emily watched his movements. "In a laundry room?"

"This isn't a proposal, at least not a proper marriage one," Derek prefaced. "This is about commitment," he clarified. "I've said some of these things before, but I figure being down on one knee might make it more official. Basically, I want to promise myself to you for the rest of my life. Whether that involves marriage and kids at some point…" he shrugged. "I love you, Emily. Always will. I'm committed to this relationship," he vowed. "Will you make that same commitment to me… here in our laundry room?" he grinned.

She nodded, momentarily speechless. "As long as you accept that I'm scatterbrained and scared at times?" Emily looked him in the eye and saw that he did. "Yes, I commit myself to you and to this relationship, Derek. Completely, and forever," Emily promised.

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	19. Wounded

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

* * *

><p><strong>Wounded<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>"So… if I told you I wanted to go off my birth control…" she paused a second. "You'd be okay with that?"<p>

Derek's hands gripped the steering wheel a little tighter as he controlled the vehicle along the highway. Their case was local. Currently, they were headed north to the Fairfax County police department to talk to a few folks in connection to three killings in the last two days. They were already certain of their UnSub's identity, just simply attempting to minimize his damage. "Yeah…" Morgan's response came several seconds after her question. "Sure…" his words were positive, but his tone was somewhat hesitant.

Emily shook her head. "You sounded real enthused there, detective," she sighed.

"We are on a case, Emily," he pointed out. "Probably not the best time to discuss this stuff."

"Okay," she gave an exaggerated nod. "But the problem with that line of thinking is that we never have time to discuss these things otherwise. The last two weeks have been filled with more cases than my whole six years with the BAU," Emily glanced to the horizon and the bright blue sky. "I think springtime makes people go a bit crazy."

"Yes, like the person sitting next to me who exaggerates a great deal," he chuckled softly.

She dismissed his teasing. "What about our application for becoming foster parents? You want to talk about that?"

"Did you find out all the rules and stuff?" Derek did his best to appease her, even though his mind was set on their UnSub more than anything. "Do we have to be married?"

"If we did, would you want to?" she countered. Just a few weeks ago they'd performed their own private commitment ceremony, in the laundry room of all places. Which had moved them a great deal closer to marriage and kids, all the way to the point where they were talking about it more and more, at least when they found a spare second.

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. "Get married?"

"That is the twenty-million dollar question…" she wore a look that crossed from amused into genuine curiosity.

"I'm not the one with marriage issues," he grabbed her left hand and kissed it quickly before taking the exit toward their destination.

"Not this argument again," she rolled her eyes, but was glad they could talk about it without biting each other's heads off like last time. "First off, you'll be relieved to know that we don't have to be married to become foster parents. Mainly we have to have the finical means to support a family, a minimum of thirty hours of training, and there's the home visit."

Derek waited a moment. "And second?"

"Second what?"

He chuckled. "You were talking about the marriage part and it seemed like there was a second point you might make?"

"Oh…" she nodded. "Second is that you've never asked."

His head shook as a smile erupted across his face. "You are infuriating, woman."

"How about kids?" Emily asked.

"They usually come after marriage," Morgan replied.

With a small chuckle, she rolled with the conversation. "In the Stone Age, yes," Emily agreed. "I meant what sort of foster kid we'd like to take in. According to Mrs. Dayton, we can pick what we want - anything from age to gender, race and other physical characteristics. Seems a bit odd, doesn't it? You get pregnant and you don't have any choice about what you'll get. That's it; the kid is born and welcome to parenthood… for the rest of your life."

He nodded his agreement. "So that should be how we do it with the foster kids, right?"

"What do you mean?"

"We shouldn't be picky. We should take on any kid that needs us," Derek spoke with finality.

Emily smiled. She'd been fearful a few weeks ago, thinking she was pregnant and worried about what problems their child could have. Now she was of a same mind as Derek, having realized that life had been throwing things at her for years without any careful planning. "I agree. But we both know that some kids have a hell of a messed up background. There could be anything from drugs to abuse, not to mention all sorts of other stuff."

"And if we had a baby there'd be diapers and all-nighters," he shrugged. "I think I'd actually do better with the other stuff," Derek confided.

"I think you'd do well with either situation," Emily offered her support. "So, are we just talking about all of this stuff because we promised we'd talk about it, or are we actually serious this time about taking in foster kids? Or having a baby of our own?"

Derek kissed her hand again; a silent thank you for her first words. "You went to the information meeting, and you set up a time for me to meet this Dayton woman. I'd say we're pretty serious. As for the having a baby part," he shrugged but also flashed a warm smile her direction. "I could learn how to change a diaper."

"Good to know," she nodded; both pleased and nervous about how committed they finally were about it all.

They arrived at the police station with profiler mind-sets firmly set in place again. Derek parked and they exited the vehicle, walking side-by-side to the station house. "Do you want the son, Zachary Hillman? Or the co-worker Hillman was having an affair with, Janet Hayes?" he asked.

"Son," she quickly replied.

Morgan frowned. "Trade you?"

Her head shook. "Nope, co-workers having affairs is too messy," Emily grinned.

"Come on… you're both women, you'll relate to her better than I could," Derek made his argument, albeit a flimsy one. "And I should really be the one to deal with the boy as practice for my pending fatherhood gig, right?"

She sighed in resignation, an index finger pointed at him. "For my troubles, I get a foot rub when we get home… at least a ten minute one," Emily stated her demands.

"This is our job, non-negotiable," Derek tried not to smile. "I was just being polite by giving you a choice earlier."

"Keep it up and I throw in you having to change Sergio's litter box for a month," she wore a severe face.

He chuckled at her not-so-subtle negotiating skills. But she certainly knew how to haggle, because he'd rank litter box duty higher on the do-not-want-to-perform task list than changing a baby diaper. Derek gallantly held the glass entrance door open for her. "You drive a hard bargain," Morgan whispered as she walked past him. "A foot rub it is," he extended his hand, knowing when he'd been bested. "Deal?"

Emily shook on it, "Deal."

xxx

"I should've told someone sooner," the boy lamented. "This morning, agent Morgan promised you'd find him. But now another lady is dead because of me."

Emily could read the signs, the blame and anger in his tone. The teenager had been stuck in a tough spot of wanting to keep his family together even when he knew his father had been beating his mother for years. His mother had died two days ago, along with a string of other women the boy's father had used as surrogates to inflict his rage on. Emily also knew that any way the case ended, the boy would be his father's final victim. "Zach," she spoke calmly. "None of this is your fault."

It had been almost twenty-four hours since Derek had first spoken with the boy, and she to the mistress. That woman was dead now as well.

"Doesn't feel like that," his head shook, wavy blonde locks swaying.

Alabaster skin and blue eyes were not what some would expect from a domestic violence home. But the statistics had turned years ago in regard to race and domestic violence. Reid had been spouting off such things for the last two days of the case. Emily had known the existence of such violence for much longer, having seen her friend John live through it with his father. They'd never told anyone either, just acted out as their way of coping.

She placed a hand against the boy's shoulder, the only support he had at the moment. "I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but…"

"But nothing!" Zach exploded, darting away from her. He stalked across the room. "My mother is dead," the boy choked on those words, but he sucked down the tears. "And how many other women? Because I never called the police, I never…" his head was hung again, shaking softly as the tears took over.

Without a second thought, she went to comfort the child. His gangly twelve year old body tried to pull away from her for a second, but he quickly gave in. Zach was hanging on for dear life when the room's only door swung open. Emily spotted Reid hovering in the doorway. And she instantly noticed his nervous demeanor. "What's wrong?" Emily asked, her hands still soothingly stroking their way down Zach's back.

"You can tell me," Zach stood up straighter and steeled himself, prepared for the worst.

"Hillman is dead," Spencer confirmed, not sure how to break the news of the death any easier. "JJ, Morgan and a local police team found him at the Belle Haven Country Club."

Emily kept a tight hold on the boy. He fought her, but only half-heartedly. It didn't take long for him to cling to her embrace again, this time as fat tears coursed silently down his cheeks. Over her shoulder she caught Reid watching her with more concern than she thought possible. This time she mouthed the words: _what's wrong_. She knew there was something more hidden behind the young man's eyes.

"Morgan was…" Reid slipped on his words. "He and JJ were the first on scene. Derek told JJ to check the locker room while he searched the country club's gymnasium. Hillman ambushed him, I guess… JJ was kind of sketchy on the details when she called from the..."

"Just tell me what happened," Emily's tone took on a needful edge that scared her.

Reid took a quick, shaky breath. "He's been shot," Spencer finally revealed. "Derek's at the hospital, in surgery."

xxx

She'd stayed with Zach for a long time.

Emily had told herself the boy was more vulnerable than Morgan, he'd needed her more. And while he'd been in surgery there'd been nothing for her to do. Truth was, seeing Derek in a hospital bed scared the crap out of her. Even now as she walked down the brightly lit hospital corridor - white linoleum on the floor, mint green paint on the walls - she didn't want to face his unconscious form. But she fought down those childish fears and entered his room. It was sterile as well - creamy walls, gray chairs and more white flooring.

Suddenly she longed for their lavender laundry room.

She even longed for a fight between them. Because seeing him in a hospital bed - eyes closed, still and silent - caused her to turn icy.

"He's still unconscious," Garcia greeted her friend, "Probably will be for hours."

JJ was in the room too. Emily could see the distress and guilt eating the younger woman. That was how it went when a partner got hurt on your watch. No matter where the blame may lie, you always felt there was something more you could've done, or should've done. Emily hugged them both, thanking them for being with him while she wasn't. The words were truthful, but somewhat hallow. She felt herself balling up her emotions, burying them. It was such an easy routine to fall into again.

"We'll leave you alone," again Garcia was the one with all the strength. She guided JJ out of the room.

Emily watched them go and was envious of the flamboyant tech. Penelope and Derek's relationship always seemed so easy to her, so open. She longed for that as she walked slowly toward his bed. "The doctors say you should rest as long as possible," she spoke so it wasn't so damn quiet in the room. Emily stood beside him. "What the hell were you thinking?" the fingers of her left hand gently ran along his bare arm as it rested against a white sheet and pale blue blanket.

"I know I shouldn't be mad at you," she sucked down a shallow breath. "But I know you have a Kevlar vest, and you're meant to be wearing it when you go after the bad guys."

Silence filled the room again.

"Right," Emily continued the conversation almost as if he were replying. "There was no time, you weren't sure he'd even be there," she voiced the protests for him. With great effort, she sunk down onto a gray chair. It was just as uncomfortable as it looked. "They didn't remove the bullet," she continued. "Too close to your spine," those words nearly did her in. "And too much swelling right now to know if you'll be…"

She shot out of her chair and paced. There was only about three feet of floor to pace in the cramped room, but she moved back and forth nonetheless.

"Hotch called your mom," Emily found some more words, though never the right ones. "She's already caught a flight. Should be here in an hour," she relayed. "I probably should've been the one to call her, not Hotch. But I haven't done much right lately. Argue with you about marriage and kids when I know it's my own damn fault for being so fickle." Tears pricked her eyes but she did her best to keep them at bay. "Damn-it, Morgan," her voice quaked as she sat down beside him again.

This time she wrapped both hands around one of his. Emily brought it to her lips and kissed each fingertip, just like he often did to her. "It's just a bullet wound, okay? You'll wake up, the swelling will go down and then we'll deal with whatever happens after that. Promise me?"

A few tears finally trailed down her cheek. "You still owe me a foot rub," she chuckled mirthlessly before burying her head against his chest.

xxx

"Emily?"

She jolted awake at the sound of her name. For a brief moment Emily thought it had been Derek, but she quickly spied that his eyes were still closed. Each second she was awake made her more aware of her surroundings. Emily finally looked to her left and spotted Derek's mother standing in the open doorway. She promptly sat up straighter, ran a hand through her disheveled hair, and covertly rubbed away her dried tears.

Fran had two white paper cups with her, one in each hand. Emily then noticed a small travel bag across the room, and a sweater draped over the chair opposite from her. "How long was I asleep?" she asked, knowing it had to be hours if Fran had arrived and had time to get coffee.

"According to your friends, nearly four hours," Derek's mom responded, handing over one cup. "Ginger tea, herbal."

Emily nodded with surprise. "Thank you. How'd you know I'm not doing caffeine?"

"Derek mentioned it the last time we spoke."

"Oh," Emily watched steam billow upward from the surface of the tea. She blew on it. "I didn't know you'd… that he'd mentioned me to you."

Fran smiled as she sat down in her chair and sipped black coffee. "He called me last week to ask about Cindi and Anthony. We had a long talk about what happened."

"He was so worried you'd all hate him. I told him you wouldn't," Emily responded.

"I could never hate him. I'll always love my children, no matter what," Fran declared. "Now, there have been times when I didn't like them very much. Sarah during the eighties with those ten inch bangs. Derek and his Jimmy Hendrix music playing until the wee hours of the night. And Desiree…" her head shook. "That girl, believe it or not, dated at least five boys in one school year… on the phone all day and night to them," Fran chuckled.

A small laugh escaped Emily's lips, for which she was grateful. "I guess my parents were lucky they only had me to contend with."

"I wouldn't trade a one of them," Fran proclaimed, "All three of them so unique… but headstrong. They get that from their father," she grinned. "And maybe a bit from me, too," the woman admitted. She trailed off, starring at Derek's unmoving form. "This one here…" a hand was placed against her son's blanket-covered thigh. "He reminds me of his daddy the most. And not always in a good way," she took a small gulp of coffee and sighed. "Seth wasn't as lucky, though, when he was shot."

Emily wasn't sure what to say. "How are Cindi and Anthony doing?" she settled on a change of topic.

"Good," Fran was glad of the distraction. "Anthony is adjusting amazingly well, lots of change for that boy. And our dear Cindi…" she paused. "She had to be so brave and strong for so long, now she barely wants to talk about what happened," her head shook.

"All you can really do is love her right now, and support her," Emily suggested, hoping she didn't sound too much like a grief pamphlet.

"Very true," the older woman agreed. "Loving and supporting the ones we care about most is all we can do under most circumstances."

It wasn't hard to detect the underlying meaning of Fran's words. Emily understood they could only do that much for Derek at the moment. "He didn't mention talking to you last week. I was under the impression that he was still feeling apprehensive about talking to you."

"Truth is," Fran replied, "Our conversation was meant to be secret. He was planning for me to come out here in a few weeks, specifically to meet you," she revealed. "He told me he wanted it to be a special visit, just me getting to know you, the three of us hanging out. We talked about you for over an hour," Fran continued. "He mentioned some talk going on between the two of you about children and marriage. I have to tell you, he's never spoken of such things in regard to any other woman in his life before."

She tried not to let Fran's words get to her, but Emily found a rather large lump had formed in her throat.

Fran sensed as much. She sat her coffee down then swiftly went to the younger woman, placed her cup of tea on a nearby table, and warmly wrapped her arms about Emily. The younger dissolved into the embrace, allowing her fears to release. Fran rocked her somewhat like a child. "He'll get through this just fine," she assured. "He's got that stubborn streak from both sides, remember? Just you wait until your child comes along. To hear Derek tell it, you've got a bit of stubborn in you as well."

That thought made Emily laugh through her tears. "Lord, help us all if Derek and I ever reproduce," she sniffed.

"Would be a good thing… cute baby, like his daddy."

Emily and Fran jumped apart, turning toward the croaky voice. They saw Derek had his eyes open and was doing his best not to look uncomfortable. Both women saw through him in an instant. "You're awake," Emily stated the obvious as she grasped his hand. "How do you feel?"

"Pretty sure I'll live," he replied with a faint smile. Derek managed to squeeze her hand tightly. "Sorry if I scared you," he said. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Emily leaned forward and gently kissed him on the lips, not worried about his legs yet.

They both knew it was the first time she'd said those words back to him. But he didn't make a big fuss about it, which made her love him even more.

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	20. Bulletproof

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

**Merci for all your lovely comments. They always make my day! Work has been crazy busy, but I got this little part out...**

* * *

><p><strong>Bulletproof<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>"Were you worried?"<p>

Derek had been awake for only a half hour, but he was already antsy about being laid up in a hospital bed. Emily tried her best to take that as a good sign. Fran had gone to retrieve a nurse first off. The young female had taken vitals and informed them that the doctor would be in to talk to them soon. That had been twenty minutes ago. Morgan's mother was out again, albeit reluctantly this time, having gone to call her daughters. Derek had insisted on that, not wanting anyone to worry about him.

With a small smile, Emily shook her head. "Nah," she replied.

He knew she was lying, but he played the game with her, glad he was alive to do so. "You wouldn't have missed me? Not even a little?"

"What are you doing, fishing for compliments?" Emily kept up the act. It was easier to joke than to think how close they'd come to losing one another again. "It's not becoming."

"You know you'd miss me," Derek squeezed her hand, glad that she was close enough to do so. "You love me, you said so just a few minutes ago," he reminded her.

She gave him a nod, but was still relying heavily on humor. Otherwise, she was sure she'd cry again. And Emily really didn't want any more tears. He was alive and she believed they could deal with anything as long as they had each other's support. "Well… I do kind of like having you around," she finally gave in. "You're cheaper than batteries."

It took him a moment to understand her meaning. "Oh, no you didn't," he shook his head, but grinned as well. Derek craned his neck to check the door. "You know my mama could walk in here at any moment and hear you talking like that," Morgan playfully admonished.

"I'm sure your mother knows about such things that work on battery power," Emily replied.

"Don't even go there," his grin faded a bit.

"What?" she wasn't embarrassed in the least. "I mean no disrespect at all when I say this, but your father has been gone for a very long time. Do you honestly think she's never…"

"Stop right there!" he spoke much louder and was even tempted to childishly cover his ears. "I don't want to even think about what my… she's my mama."

Emily chuckled. "She's also a woman."

Morgan nodded, not able to deny that fact. He tried another tactic. "Okay, so if I mentioned your mother using things that relied on batteries…"

Her nose instantly scrunched. "Eww, that's disgusting," she shivered.

"I rest my case," Derek crossed his arms and wore a rather smug smile.

She wasn't upset at all. Emily was actually glad to have him so alert. She'd missed their banter, if only for a few hours. Losing him was pretty much unimaginable. "Remember that pact we made to keep me out of hospitals for at least a year?" her thoughts turned reflective. "I kind of wish we'd included you in that," Emily felt her voice start to break but did her best to cover the emotion. "You ever do this again and…" she sighed, unable to finish the warning, knowing it would've been a hallow threat anyhow.

"I'm okay, really," Morgan gave her hand another warm squeeze. "Didn't I ever tell you I'm bulletproof?" he winked.

The joke wasn't laughable to her. "Have you tried to…" she waved a hand over his legs, "You know… move anything?" Emily couldn't help her thoughts from drifting back to the matter of if he'd ever walk again. So far they'd been too happy just to have him wake after the surgery.

Derek grinned broadly. "What exactly would you like me to move?" he teased, "A toe, maybe a foot, or perhaps something that most definitely does not require batteries?" Morgan arched his brows suggestively. "You could give me a little massage, see if anything down there stirs," he suggested.

"And you think I have a dirty mind," her head shook. "I was trying to be serious."

His face sobered. "I haven't tried," Derek revealed; his voice a lot less jovial than before. The one thing he feared worse than death was living an incapacitated life. "I figured we should wait for the doctor and see if it was even okay to try moving."

It was abundantly clear to Emily that he was worried. She nodded along with his reasoning, but was still curious. "Not even a toe?"

Morgan focused all his efforts into wiggling the toes on his right foot. He and Emily held their breath for a moment as the blue blanket covering his feet moved a little. "It feels kind of tingly and weird, but…" he flashed a positive smile her way. "I think your fear of relying on battery power for the rest of your life can be alleviated," Derek winked again.

Emily was about to respond when a voice made its owner's presence known. "What is this about batteries?" Fran inquired as she stepped into the room. She glanced from one of them to the other, seeing two faces that looked like teenagers caught making out. She turned her full attention to Derek. "Your sisters want to fly out here, but I told them to stay put. I said you'd probably be up and walking in no time."

Without a word, Derek wiggled his toes again to show his mother.

Fran's eyes widened as she clasped a hand over her mouth. "That's wonderful," she finally gasped. "But maybe you should wait until the doctor…"

The room's door opened again. A tall, slim man with salt and pepper hair, slightly tan skin and a pleasant smile, entered Derek's room. "Mr. Morgan, good to see you awake," he greeted, reaching out to shake Derek's hand. "I'm Doctor Landon. I did your surgery," the man let him know. "Not sure what all you've been told so far, but I removed fragments from one bullet, the other was too close to your spine to safely remove," he explained.

"Right," Derek nodded. "But, I can do this…" he pointed to the foot of his bed.

Landon watched the movements and was impressed. He pulled the blanket back and poked several spots on Derek's feet to test reflexes. Both of Derek's feet responded to the prodding, bending at the ankle. "How's that feel?" the doctor inquired.

"Everything's a bit sore," Derek admitted. "But the movement feels normal."

"Good sign," the doctor smiled reassuringly. "I want you to rest some more. When the swelling's gone down completely we'll take another look at things, but I'd say we might have you up and walking around by tomorrow morning."

"Sounds great," Morgan agreed eagerly.

"What about the bullet?" Emily asked. "Does it just stay in there?"

Doctor Landon nodded. "In all likelihood," he responded. "We'll monitor things, of course. But if it's not causing a problem we shouldn't have to remove it. Could cause more damage than good if we go back in," he noted, "Any other questions or concerns?" All three heads shook negative responses. "Then I'll check back with you tomorrow," with that he was out the door, his whole visit having lasted only a few short minutes.

"I do believe doctors are always in a hurry these days," Fran remarked.

"He was nice, though," Emily defended.

"At least he gave us good news," Derek added.

Emily nodded. "The best news," she leaned down to kiss Morgan on the lips, not as afraid of hurting him as she had been early. The union was brief, and slightly chaste in front of his mother, but it spoke volumes between them. "You should get some more sleep," Emily said as she settled back into the chair beside him.

"Only if you promise to go home and rest," he countered. "Take mama with you. She can have the guest room. You both should relax… sleep."

With a shake of her head, Emily stayed put. "No deal, pal," she replied. "Apparently I slept while you were unconscious. I'm way too alert now to sleep. And I'm not leaving you."

"Me either," Fran piped up, slipping into the chair across from Emily. "Not until I actually see you up and walking."

Derek shrugged. "Guess that means I'm outnumbered," he chuckled softly, glad to have his mom and Emily close. He hated that it had taken his accident to have them meet up again, but he was happy to see them getting along. "Anyone got any cards?" Morgan asked.

"Rest," Emily pointed a finger at him.

He smiled, laying his head back. "You'll definitely make a good mother," Derek said as he closed his eyes.

The room fell silent until Fran and Emily could hear the soft inhale and exhale of his sleep state. "Now…" Fran eyed Emily. "About these batteries…"

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	21. Keys

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

* * *

><p><strong>Keys<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>"This is embarrassing," Derek complained as he shuffled slowly around the nurse's station.<p>

Emily walked beside him, one arm linked with his as she helped stabilize his slightly wobbly legs. His other hand held the wide wall railing. "You got the bare ass part right," she laughed even though that comment earned her a glare from him. She didn't mind. Emily watched as he shifted his free hand to hold the hospital gown closed a little tighter in the back. "You know…" another smile came to her. "This kind of makes me think about the two of us in our golden years, doing a slow shuffle through the park."

"You with a lot of gray hair," he joined in.

Her eyes rolled. "Not as long as there's hair dye left in the world."

Morgan paused his step long enough to kiss the side of her head. "You'd be cute with gray hair."

"Please…" she groaned in disagreed. "At least we already know you're pretty sexy with a bald head," Emily grinned.

He chuckled at her. "Where's mama this morning?"

"She'll be here a little later. I drove your SUV so Fran could have my car," she explained, knowing she hadn't really responded with the full truth. "Your mother wanted to stay and clean our house," Emily revealed. She held a hand up before he could say anything in protest. "Trust me, I argued against it as adamantly as I could. She's very persistent," Emily sighed. "I don't think the place is even that dirty, but I do think it helps her relax. Or maybe it helps her de-stress," she shrugged.

Morgan nodded, having experienced his cleaning tornado mother several times over the years. "How are the two of you getting along at home? Everything okay?"

"We haven't spent much time at home because we're usually here," Emily reminded him. "But, yeah, things are good. I like talking to your mother. She's not preachy or judgmental like my parents, she just listens. It's nice. We've had some good chats, even laughed quite a bit last night. Although we had a few glasses of wine that might've contributed."

"Just tell me you haven't talked to her about…" he trailed off for a moment, concentrating on turning the corner. "You know, battery powered things."

"Okay, I won't tell you," she replied.

He easily noticed the veiled grin on her face that was always a good indication she wasn't revealing the whole truth. "I don't want to know," he maintained.

Emily chuckled. "Like guys don't talk about sex," she scoffed.

His change of topic was a not-so-subtle transition, "What lap are we on?" Derek asked as they passed by his room, which had been their starting point. He'd been up walking three times in the last forty-eight hours, each time doing a few more laps. His legs still felt a bit stiff and sore, but he was determined to regain his strength as quickly as possible, even though the doctor, Emily and his mother warned him not to overdo things. He was a bit too obstinate to listen to reason. "Maybe we could add a few more this time?" he suggested.

She'd known that was coming. He did it each time they walked, and she'd been there from the start. Always right beside him. "This is lap number twelve, an even dozen. Your highest count yet. But we can do a few more this time," Emily gave in, knowing how much he wanted to get out of the hospital. She didn't blame him. Between the two of them the past year they'd logged a lot of hours in hospitals. And she really wanted him home as well. "But then _I_ need a break."

He kissed her temple again. "Never could thank you for all your support," Derek whispered.

A quick shrug was her response. "This is what people do for the ones they love. No thanks needed," Emily insisted. She glanced up at him with a smile. "I brought you some clothes, sweats and a t-shirt. Nurse Heidi said you could take a real shower today."

"Oh, yeah?" he liked the sound of that. "Will you help me?"

"Sure," Emily nodded. "But doc Landon said no strenuous exercise for several weeks. That includes sex," she reminded him.

"I knew I didn't like doctors for a reason," Derek sulked for a second, but he finished his last few laps with renewed energy.

Emily guided him back to the room, helped him strip down and then wash up in the shower. The incision from his surgery didn't look too bad, but she knew he'd have a scar. That seemed to be something they had in common, scars. Both internal and external. Emily tried not to dwell on that matter too much as she helped him pull on clean boxer-briefs and the rest of the outfit she'd brought for him. When they emerged from the small corner bathroom they found a visitor waiting. It wasn't Fran.

"Zach?" Emily helped Derek to the bed even as she eyed the twelve year old boy who was seated on a plastic chair near the door. "What are you… how did you get here?"

"Took a bus," the boy's blond hair was a mess. His eyes looked bloodshot and droopy from lack of sleep.

Morgan regarded Emily as she approached the child. "You get permission to leave from your aunt?" Derek asked the kid, knowing the boy had been sent to stay with family after his ordeal. Both his parents were gone in a matter of days, his mother dying by the hand of his father. Derek could see the toll that had taken on his young life.

"My aunt doesn't want me around," Zach's voice was small. "She's got three kids of her own, and she thinks I'll turn out like my dad. Aunt Kim always hated him, told my mom that all the time. Now she hates me too, because of what dad did to mom."

With a heavy sigh, Emily reached for one of the boy's hands. She was glad that he didn't flinch or pull away. "Buddy, you can't run away to solve things."

"I should've known you'd say that," Zach shot to his feet and edged closer toward the door. "I thought maybe I could talk to you, thought you'd listen. You were nice the other day. You listened then," he shook his head. "Doesn't matter. Aunt Kim was going to send me to foster care, but I won't go. I'll just disappear," he vowed. "No one will miss me."

"Hey, that's not true, Zach," Emily replied with gentle force. But the boy was already out of the room before she could continue.

She stuck her head out the door but didn't catch any sign of him. "Damn," Emily turned back to Derek. "He really did disappear."

"How long do you suppose he was in here?" Morgan asked. He pointed to her purse. "Check it."

Emily understood his reasoning as she searched through her bag. "All my cash is gone," she reported. "It was only about fifty dollars, but…" Emily trailed off when she realized something else. She checked several other compartments and pockets before drawing the only conclusion possible. "My keys are missing, too. Actually, your keys," she leveled her gaze on Morgan. "Can a twelve year old drive?" Emily questioned.

With a quick nod, Derek responded, "If he thinks he's got no other choice, yeah." He barely hesitated before speaking again. "Go."

There was no time wasted as Emily dashed out of the room and headed for the stairs. They were usually quicker than the elevator, but the four flights down to the parking garage seemed to take forever as Emily prayed she wouldn't be too late to stop the boy from leaving. Thankfully, even with his head start, she had a few factors in her favor. One being that he'd have to roam the garage searching for Derek's vehicle by randomly pressing the unlock button on the key fob.

She knew exactly where she'd parked. And found Zachary already behind the wheel.

"Zach!" she shouted through the glass window, slapping her open palm against it. "Come on, buddy. Let's talk about this. You don't want to do this," she argued.

"Yes, I do!" he yelled back, fiddling with the keys to get the SUV started.

Emily could tell he'd never driven before, probably only watched his parents do it a million times. "If you drive away now you could be hurt, or hurt someone else," she warned. "Do you want that to happen?" Emily did her best to reason with him.

"No, but…" his tone was clearly filled with frustration as he managed to start the vehicle. "No one wants me," Zach lamented.

"That's not true," Emily maintained a calm tone as much as possible.

"It is!" he screamed.

The roar of the engine let her know he'd probably stomped down on the gas pedal. But the SUV didn't budge. Emily guessed it was because he didn't have the vehicle in gear, and most likely still had the parking break set as well. "Come on, Zach," she pleaded. "Just unlock the door and let me help you. I promise we can work something out."

"I don't want to live with my aunt, or some strangers in foster care," he shook his head, actually figuring out how to put the vehicle in gear. "Just leave me alone," Zach concluded as the vehicle speedily backed out of the spot.

"Zach, be careful!" Emily stepped aside, barely avoiding her feet from being run over. "Stop this, now!" she grew frustrated.

"Emily?" it was Fran's voice that broke through the chaos.

Emily spun around to find Derek's mother standing directly in the twelve year old driver's path. The boy was gazing down at the wheel, not out the window as he sped through the parking garage. "Fran!" Emily shouted, running at top speed toward the woman. "Zach!" she tried gaining the boy's attention. "Zachary, use the brakes!" Emily ran faster than she thought possible and managed to push Fran aside. "Zach, stop!" she yelled one last time, staring directly into the headlights as they barreled toward her.

The SUV's brakes screeched as the vehicle skidded several more feet before it finally stopped inches from Emily's waist.

She hustled around to the driver's side door, adrenaline propelling her forward. "Keep your foot on the brake, Zach, and unlock the door," Emily calmly, yet forcefully, instructed. She watched as he carefully concentrated on the tasks. When the door flung open, she put a gentle hand to the boy's shoulder. "Just keep your hold on the brake," she repeated, leaning across his lap. Emily put the vehicle in park and reset the brake for good measure. Then she guided Zach out of the SUV.

"I'm sorry," his voice was barely a whisper.

Part of her wanted to yell at him, still so upset about what had just happened. But she knew yelling wasn't what he needed at the moment. With both arms wrapped about him, she held him close. "I know you didn't mean for this to happen," Emily said. "But someone was almost hurt."

His body shook, tears streaming down his ashen cheeks. "I'm sorry," Zach repeated. "I just want my mom," he sobbed.

Those words caused most of Emily's anger to drain.

Keeping him in close, Emily watched as Fran silently got into the SUV and parked it in the nearest available spot. A minute later she joined them, one hand against Emily's back in a motherly manner. "Is everything okay?" she quietly inquired.

Emily gave a small nod. "I think it will be." At least she was hopeful.

xxx

"Are you and mama all right? Jeez, what the hell was that kid thinking?" Derek was perched at the edge of his bed looking about ready to pounce. He'd just listened to Emily recount the details of her encounter with Zachary Hillman and his not-so-precise driving skills.

"Fran is fine, maybe a little shaken but she's okay," Emily reported, feeling a bit numb after the whole ordeal. "She took Zach to the cafeteria to get some water."

Morgan's eyes widened. "You left her with him?"

"She volunteered," Emily countered. "If anyone can keep him in line it'll be Fran," she reasoned.

"True," he relaxed a little. Derek didn't want to admit that his back was pretty sore at the moment. And he hated the fact Emily had gone after Zach and had to deal with the kid on her own. He knew the woman he loved was more than capable, though. "It sounds like you've done a pretty good job of that as well." Derek reached for her hand and kissed her palm. "You saved my mother's life. Can't thank you enough for that either."

Emily managed a weak smile. "Funny you should mention me handling things … because I was thinking…"

"You and thinking can be a dangerous combo," Derek braced himself for what was about to come.

She didn't dance around the issue. "Maybe he could live with us?" Emily could see the answer on his lips before he even spoke and she made a preemptive move. "Please don't dismiss the idea right away," she stopped him before he could respond. "We've been talking about fostering a kid or possibly more one than one kid, and specifically older kids. Also, we agreed to take on any child, no matter their issues," she reminded him.

"But we're too close to this case, don't you think?" Morgan's eyes narrowed. He glanced toward the door making sure Zach was nowhere near. "We tracked down and killed his father."

"Technically…" she held an index finger aloft. "It was a Fairfax County police officer who killed Hillman, not you or JJ," Emily pointed out. "And he wasn't going down without a fight, he probably wanted to die. It's why he ambushed you. Zach knows all of that, which is why he's so scattered right now. And living with an aunt who hates him, who actually came out and said that to his face, how's that going to help him stabilize?" she asked. "It's not," Emily quickly answered her own question.

Derek couldn't deny that. "Could we even…" he shrugged. "We're not official foster parents yet."

"I think I could work something out if I talk to Mrs. Dayton at Child Services," Emily felt she was close to wearing him down. "Should I call her?"

"What about our jobs?" he still wasn't completely sold on the idea.

"Well, you'll have medical leave for a while to get healed up," Emily quickly plotted a course, even though she was making it up on the fly. "You'll be there for him the first few weeks, be there when he comes home from school and all that. And when you go back to work…" she bit her lip a moment, thinking. "Then maybe I'll reduce my workload."

Those words surprised him a little. "What do you mean? Quit?"

"Not sure," her shoulders rose. "But we've been talking about the kid thing more and more. I figured that would mean a work reduction for one of us. And I'm willing to be the one," she offered. "On the plus side, it'll mean we don't have to talk to Strauss about our relationship status when she returns," Emily concluded.

An admiring smile formed on his lips as he squeezed her hand. "You seem sure about all this," Derek knew he was far from feeling the same.

"I'm not really sure about anything," Emily admitted. "Except that I love you, and that I think we could help Zach."

"Can I think about it?" Morgan asked, not wanting to say yes or no outright at the moment.

Emily nodded and gave him a quick kiss. "Sure," she agreed. "I'm going to check on Zach and your mom."

xxx

Derek knew the look on his mother's face.

She was seated in a chair beside him, eyes slightly clouded with thought. "Where's Emily?" he asked, delaying the inevitable.

"Zachary wanted to remain in the cafeteria and asked her to stay with him," Fran revealed. "I think he's anxious about facing you again," she added. "Emily's calling his aunt as a courtesy, to let her know where Zach is. After that she plans to talk to the Child Services woman."

"About what exactly?" Morgan inquired, sensing that his mother knew more than she was letting on.

Fran smiled, knowing she was readable to her son. "To figure out what sort of options you might have, whether the two of you may be able to take Zach in."

Morgan sighed. "And you think we should?"

"That's not for me to decide," Fran took the diplomatic road. She relaxed a little, letting her weight press fully against the chair. "I will tell you a few things I've observed lately, both through words and actions," she paused a moment. "Emily tells me she's a bit frustrated that the two of you can't seem to get on the same page when the issue of kids is brought up."

He sat forward a little. "I think we are now," he protested.

"So you're okay with Zach living with you?"

"Well, not that… I meant…"

His mother's brows arched. "You're hesitant about this boy," she stated the fact without any doubt. "Because you're still unsure about your role as a father. It's understandable. You lost your dad as a young boy, and then you were betrayed by a man you respected as a father figure," Fran wasn't afraid to lay it all out for him. "But you are a far better man than..." she couldn't even utter Buford's name. "I believe you have a great deal to offer any child, especially Zach. He needs you. He needs both of you."

"You make it sound so simple," Derek sighed.

"Oh, no, baby," her head shook with conviction. "Do not think for one minute that parenthood will be simple or easy," Fran warned. "It is a daunting task in many ways but it can be very rewarding as well," she grinned. "And Emily… she's a big part of the observing I've been doing these past few days. I can easily see how much she loves you, and I watched her dealing with that boy today. She remained cool under pressure. And when it was over she hugged him first before she scolded him."

Derek chuckled. "A true sign of parenthood," he agreed, having experienced that many times over with his mother.

"Zach could've gone anywhere today when he left his aunt's house," Fran added. "But he showed up here."

"He sought out the one person he felt he could trust the most, who he felt safe with," Morgan realized what his mother was saying. "Emily."

xxx

Zach stood close to the door, huddled next to Emily who had an arm about his shoulders.

She squeezed his shoulder in a reassuring gesture then dropped her arm and motioned toward one of the chairs in Derek's small hospital room. "Have a seat," she implored.

The boy sat facing Derek, but he kept his eyes aimed on the floor. "I'm sorry," Zach's tone was sullen and weary. "I know it was your SUV I tried to steal. And I know I could've hurt your mom or Emily… or someone else. I'm sorry," he concluded.

"You need to look a person in the eye when you apologize," Derek replied, having been taught that by his father at a young age.

Zach swallowed nervously and lifted his head. "I'm sorry," he repeated, blue eyes staring into Derek's dark ones.

Derek extended his hand to Zachary, seeing nothing of the boy's father in the child. Hillman had killed his wife and those other women for reasons the BAU team hadn't been able to pinpoint. Zach had simply reacted out of grief. To sit there and apologize now showed Derek that the young man had more guts and courage than his father ever could've hoped to possess. "Apology accepted," he told the boy.

The handshake caused Zach to sit up straighter. "I'm really sorry."

"I know you are, pal. You can stop apologizing," Morgan insisted. He took a quick glance at Emily before he continued. The hopeful look on her face was all he needed to proceed. "I hear Emily called your aunt?" he directed his words toward the boy.

"Yes, sir," Zach turned very serious. "She said my behavior confirmed her belief that I'm no good. I'm officially not welcome at her house any longer."

Morgan turned his eyes fully upon Emily. "And did you talk to Mrs. Dayton?"

"I did," Emily gnawed her bottom lip but quickly found the answer she'd been hoping for in Derek's silent nod of approval. "Zach's aunt already informed Child Services of her desire to sign away rights. Dayton said we could fulfill our foster parent training with a live-in child. We still need a background check and home inspection," she explained. "Background check is pretty much a formality given our status with the FBI. And she's willing to do the home inspection herself, tomorrow morning. Thankfully Fran already cleaned the place," she grinned.

"What does that mean?" Zach turned to Emily for clarification. "I'd live with you?"

Emily nodded. "I guess we haven't even asked you yet," she realized. "Would you like to stay with us, Zach?"

The boy instantly aimed his attention back toward Derek. "Do you want me to live with you?"

"Yes," Derek responded, feeling a bit bad that the boy was skeptical of his part in the plan. "Emily and I would like that, if you want."

He wore a somewhat apprehensive look at first, but his anxiety noticeably dissipated. "Okay," Zach agreed with a shy smile.

Derek placed one hand against Emily's, a show of mutual support. "Good," they spoke the word together, nervous and excited at the same time. Both of them knew their lives had just taken another drastic turn. They hoped it would be the right path for Zach and themselves.

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	22. Text

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

**Spoilers for the S7 Finale!**

* * *

><p><strong>Text<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>Emily was curled up on the chase lounge in her living room. An unopened book lay in her lap. And a few unpacked boxes were stacked along one wall.<p>

The flat in London was small, but cozy. She'd lived in much bigger places; and even in smaller ones as well. The place where she slept and ate had never really mattered much to her, having grown up in dozens of houses and countries around the globe. All she really needed was one good place to sit and read, a nice comfy bed, and her books. Emily had set up the first two items on that list. But her books had spent all summer lingering in boxes.

Sergio jumped onto her lap, bringing a smile to her face. Thankfully her feline friend had settled in rather well in a short time.

She couldn't really say the same for herself. Aside from the small comforts of home, Emily was still feeling uneasy in her new life. She'd spent the first two months of her London Interpol job getting to know the staff and organizing things to her liking. Then there was a drug trafficking case being worked on in bits and pieces by the members of her team. It was some bizarre Great Britain to Russia pipeline that still didn't make much sense to anyone working on the case.

Abandoning the book all together, she reached for the cell phone on a low table beside her. Emily scrolled through the last few text messages. There was one from Reid telling her about a visit with his mom. A message from Garcia asking if she'd met the queen yet. Another from JJ asking if she'd run into Will and Kate yet. Rossi's latest text was about Jack's soccer game, as was Hotch's most recent message. Her former boss' text also included a quick note about Beth, which sounded like more forward momentum in their relationship.

It made her happy to know they were all moving on, though also a little sad.

At least their messages made her feel not-so-far away.

Even with all of their mostly positive things to regal her with, there was one messenger that had her contemplating jumping on a plane to DC. Derek had only managed to send her very short, stilted messages so far. The tone of which always felt rather dismal to her. Emily sighed as she re-read the most recent one: _**Just spent three days on a case in Denver, four deaths, UnSub pulled a suicide-by-cop in the end. I'm so tired I could sleep for a week**__._

All of his messages read the same way. She was worried about him.

With her mind made up, she sent a quick text out to him: _**How R U?**_

She grinned after hitting the send button, knowing he didn't like the text shorthand as much as some. Emily hoped it might at least make him shake his head or roll his eyes or maybe even smile. His smile was something she'd come to miss a great deal. It seemed silly really, to miss that above other things. But the way the skin wrinkled at the corners of his eyes when he smiled always managed to send a jolt of pleasure through her. Those eye-smiles of his held a note of innocence that she found endearing.

A minute passed with no response. Then five and ten minutes zoomed by.

She did a quick mental time-zone count to figure out what hour it was in DC. It was ten o'clock in the evening her time which made it only 5pm in DC. Derek could still be at work, or headed out for a meal. Or on a case somewhere in another time zone. He could also be out with the team, having a few drinks after work. Maybe he was catching a movie with Garcia. Or working on one of his house projects. And there was always the possibility that he'd gone out on a date. It was still early on a Friday night there.

After a half hour of waiting she settled on the fact he was on a case and couldn't respond.

Emily focused on her book again. But her thoughts were still distracted by her dear friend.

xxx

Morgan sunk into the leather jet seat. He closed his eyes almost immediately.

It had been a long three day case for the team in Southern Oregon, a series of young girls having been kidnaped and killed in a large rural area. There'd been a search of the area's massive lake, the surrounding woods and many acres of farmland as well. Only one of the five girls had been safely returned to her parent's waiting embrace. The others had required face-to-face meetings with parents who'd be burying their little girls within the next few days.

He tried to sleep but couldn't. He tried to let the music sooth him but it wouldn't.

A half-hour into the flight home everyone else was asleep. The cabin lights were all off as he remained huddled in the corner seat, headphones askew behind his neck.

Derek finally pulled out his cell phone and fiddled with it as a means of distraction. He'd never been big on playing games of any sort. He contemplated texting his mom. The realization that he hadn't spoken to her in a few weeks made guilt eat at him. But he wasn't up for quelling that guilt at the moment. A missed text message caught his eye and he read the three words, or what should've been three words. He couldn't help smile, knowing that Emily knew he hated the shorthand texting.

The message was several hours old. He sent a brief apologetic reply: _**Sorry I didn't get back to you, just finished a long case. How are you?**_

Directly after hitting send Derek calculated the time difference and realized it was sometime in the early morning where she was. Most likely she was still asleep, or possibly already off to work. It was difficult getting their timing right. Although that had always seemed to be an issue with them. He sighed and tossed the phone aside, wishing she'd been on the Oregon case with him. Wishing she was seated right across from him now. Emily had always been able to talk him down after a case. And it had worked both ways.

His phone vibrated, signifying a return message.

_**Tired. Just took a VERY early flight into Moscow. On a train now headed to the local Interpol office… big break in a drug trafficking case here in Russia. But I have time to text until I get there. What was your case?**_

He liked the wordier side of her. Derek recounted some of the case to her in text message form. It wasn't quite the same, but it helped a great deal to ease his mind.

_**I'm so sorry about those girls. Cases with kids are always the worst.**_

_**Agreed.**_

_**How are you otherwise?**_

Her genuine concern was touching and much missed as well. _**Fine.**_

There was a long pause between messages and Derek feared she'd lost service or something. Then she came back with: _**No, you're not fine. I can hear it in your text. And all the other ones you've sent recently. You sound down. What's really going on?**_

He sighed, but smiled a little as well. He should've known better than to lie to her. Derek typed two words: _**Missing you.**_

_**Aw… sweet. :)**_

_**Being serious**_. He texted back with conviction. _**When I thought you were dead it hurt like crazy. But being so far away from you when you're alive is worse**_**.**

_**Not so far away, just an ocean between us**_**.**

Derek knew she was trying to make light of the conversation, joking was where she felt safest. But he felt like pushing it a little more. _**Feels like you're on the moon**_**.** Derek instantly felt ridiculously embarrassed for letting those words slip, but also glad.

_**You're soppy this morning.**_

_**Still night here.**_

_**Right… damn time zones.**_

Morgan could tell she was still trying to tread back to the shallow safer waters. But he realized that he was tired of playing things safe in his life. He'd already let her "die" without telling her how much he cared about her. Now she was across the world, having slipped from his grasp once more. _**Can we Face Time?**_

_**I'm on a train… you're on the jet with everyone asleep**_**.**

_**Just a silent Face Time then? I want to see your smile**_. This time he didn't care how soppy he sounded.

_**Okay… can't really say no to that since I've been wanting to see your smile.**_

It was only a matter of seconds before her image flooded his phone's screen. Morgan was surprised by her comment about his smile, but he didn't disappoint. Even though it hurt a little more to see her on screen and know how far away she was, he plastered on the biggest smile he could for her. And he was rewarded with a toothy grin from her. Then a wink that caused his heart to constrict. They'd always danced around one another in a bit of flirtation. But it felt different this time, to keep at it even though she'd moved away.

He watched her image blink out and momentarily feared they'd been cut off. Then another text was sent to him. _**Feeling better now? I know I am.**_

Derek typed another message to her: _**Remember our dance at JJ's wedding?**_

_**Hard to forget.**_

_**Promise we'll do it again someday?**_

_**That's an easy promise.**_

_**Soon?**_

_**Soon as you learn how to swim across an ocean, buddy.**_

Derek laughed softly as he typed: _**Is that an open invitation?**_ He was both nervous and hopeful about what her response might be.

_**My train just arrived… sorry, but I gotta run.**_

His heart sank a little, but he figured she hadn't even seen his last message. She was probably gathering her things, de-boarding - already coordinating a plan of attack in her head and about to make a call to the Russian Interpol liaison she was working with. Derek smiled despite wishing she'd acknowledged his invitation comment. He missed her like crazy, but he was proud of her at the same time. That was the truest testament to their friendship he could think of. Wanting her close, but wishing her well even though she wasn't.

As he closed his eyes again, ready to give sleep another shot, his phone came back to life.

Morgan glanced down at the screen and read her final text: _**Open invitation, for sure. XOXO**_

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	23. Invitation

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

**Thank you kindly for all your comments on the previous part... here is a continuation of the _Text_ storyline. Spoilers for S7 Finale!**

* * *

><p><strong>Invitation<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>"Umf!"<p>

Emily was woken with a jolt – the jolt being an excitable Sergio pounced on her chest. She closed her eyes again and tried to push the dark feline off her bed. But the cat was persistent, pawing insistently at her white top sheet. Her eyes reopened as a heavy sigh escaped. "Serg, you are worse than a puppy." She reached up with one hand to stroke along the cat's shiny black fur. "You don't need to be walked like a dog, so I'm guessing you're just hungry."

Sergio mewed loudly.

"Sometimes I swear you actually answer me," Emily chuckled as she reluctantly crawled out of bed. She grabbed her robe and slipped it around her shoulders. Tying it at her waist, she padded barefoot across the room. Sergio brushed against her and then took off like a shot between her legs. Emily shook her head at the crazy animal as she raked a hand through her hair. In the kitchen she finally noticed the time and was amazed she'd managed to sleep in so late.

The sun was already perched high in its early afternoon position and the birds were twittering excitably as she prepared Sergio's food.

"I know it's only Friday, but I don't have to work today," Emily spoke to the cat. "Since I spent most of the week in Russia and just got back yesterday, I'm taking a few days off," she explained to the animal even though she knew he didn't really understand her. "And what shall I do with my free time…"

A knock at the door caused her to jump.

"Chill out, Em," she whispered to herself on the way to the door. For the last year of her life she'd been jumpy. Nearly every little noise she encountered tended to put her on edge and she wondered if that feeling was ever going to disappear. Knowing she could only keep moving forward, Emily calmed herself with a deep breath. But as she gazed through the peep hole she nearly froze. Emily snapped out of that state rather quickly and flung the door open to stare open-mouthed at her visitor.

"Hello," Derek greeted her with a smile. He was nervous beyond reason, even though he'd arrived in London the previous evening and enjoyed a good night's sleep. But the true depth of his nervousness hadn't kicked in until just a few seconds ago upon seeing her again. "You're surprised I'm here," it wasn't a question.

"Well… yes," she managed to stammer. He held his phone up for her to see the text message displayed there. Emily couldn't help smile, her head shaking at the same time. "I know I said it was an open invitation," she slowly nodded. "I guess I thought you wouldn't take me up on it so quickly, or maybe you'd at least give me some advanced notice."

"I am sorry about the lack of notice," Morgan slid the phone back into the carrier at his hip. "But people always say they'll keep in touch or that they'll visit and then time passes and they slowly disappear from each other's lives." He took a quick breath. "You're too important to me to let that happen. I have no desire to let you slip out of my life, Emily." Derek didn't care if she slammed the door in his face. "I needed to see you. I also needed a break from work and I…"

"Would you just get in here already," Emily reached for his wrist and drew him inside the flat. She closed the door with a roll of her eyes. "You had me at hello, buddy," she teased while leading him further into her new abode and wrapping her arms about him. "It's great to see you."

He held his breath, savoring the moment of their reunion hug. Morgan pressed the palm of his right hand against the small of her back. He couldn't help recall hugging her after she'd come back from the dead almost a year ago. He'd been reluctant to let go of her then, as he was now. "I've missed you," he wasn't afraid to reveal that morsel of truth once more.

She pulled away. "I've missed you, too," her eyes softened a little as she regarded him. Truth was, she was happier to see him than she cared to let on. She shut the door and nudged Derek further inside her place. "This is home… a room for all my food or lack thereof…" Emily chuckled and waved a hand at the small kitchen they passed. "And the living room," she continued the short tour as she stood in the middle of the largest room. Three windows lined the north wall of her living space and let in a bright glow of sunshine.

"It's nice," Derek remarked, though his eyes barely left Emily.

"Through there is the one bedroom and bath," she motioned toward a half-open door to her left, "And a very small closet."

Morgan shifted his eyes off her and finally concentrated on the main living space. "You haven't decorated much," he noticed. "One chair, ottoman and…" his glance landed on something that made him smile. "The stack of unpacked boxes is a nice touch," Derek chuckled jokingly.

She shrugged. "Not much time for decorating. I've been pretty busy at work so far. Just got back from Russia yesterday so I've given myself the next few days off." Emily wore a cheeky grin. "I can do that now since I run the office. The job is not nearly as fast-paced as the BAU. I mostly do a lot of paperwork, and make a ton of phone calls. Really more a coordinator of cases than a vital on-the-streets participant," Emily explained.

"That's a shame," Derek stepped toward one of the windows and gazed down at the bustling city below. He faced her again. "You were good at being in the middle of the action."

"I did have a chance to put those skills to work in Russian this past week. Actually tracked down one of the three drug-ring puppet masters myself," Emily recalled. "And at least here I'll have time to brush up on my langue skills," she tried to change the subject a little bit, not wanting to focus on work so much now that Derek was there. "I'm kind of shocked the Russian Interpol office didn't laugh me out of the building. I'm afraid my Russian is rather rusty."

Derek wore a half-smile, doubting that her Russian was all that bad. But he was more focused on her living room than the conversation. "This room needs something," he mused, turning his head left then right, still surveying the area. "A bookcase or two," he finally declared. "Over there," Morgan pointed. "On the west wall. Perfect spot," he nodded.

"I have been meaning to head to Ikea to pick up some sort of…"

"Ikea?" he didn't even let her finish. His nose wrinkled and he shook his head adamantly. "Are you kidding me? This is London. I spent most of the morning hunting down kitschy royal souvenirs for Garcia. Pretty sure I passed by a dozen antique shops, thrift stores, junk stores…" Derek trailed off. "I'm willing to bet you could find a great old piece, something with a bit of character, not Ikea pre-fab. We should go shopping," he concluded.

Emily grinned. "That's usually my line." She eyed him curiously. "You sure you want to go shopping with me? If I pass a window with a shoe display it could all be over," Emily warned.

"I'm willing to risk it…" he smiled. "Beside, you have a very small closet, right? Not much room for shoes."

"Hah!" she scoffed. "Like I would ever let that stop me." Emily glanced down at her robe attire and cringed a little. "A guy who suggests shopping, this I really can't pass up," she noted with anticipation. "But I need a few minutes to change," she dashed into her bedroom before he could say another word.

Morgan simply spoke to her through the door. "I did grow up with three women, remember? Kind of had to get used to shopping," he conveyed.

She emerged in record time – simple outfit of jeans and a blouse, comfy walking shoes, hair pulled back. Emily led him out the door and they set off to the west where she had a feeling they'd find the shops he'd been talking about. The late summer sun shown down on them, but it wasn't overly hot. Emily had walked around London so many times she'd lost count, but walking the city with Derek made her as giddy as a kid on Christmas morning. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, anything," he agreed.

"Why do you hate the texting shorthand stuff?"

He laughed at her question but could tell she was genuinely curious. "I guess it goes back to childhood," Derek grew serious. "You know I lived in an area that was pretty poor, lots of gang activity. Low rate of literacy and general education. I had to work my butt off to get out of there, to attend college and make something of myself. I guess the lack of grammar in texting kind of feels like a slap in the face to my education. It's like a regression in society. Or maybe it just means I'm old," Morgan shrugged.

"You're not old," she defended. "I never really thought about it much before. But you make a valid point."

"I always like hearing those words," he grinned.

Emily gently slapped his shoulder. They were both still caught up in a fit of laughter when she pointed out an antique shop. It didn't yield much in the way of furniture so they quickly moved on. Nearly a half-dozen other shops were a disappointment and Derek was almost willing to give in to the Ikea idea. But one last try finally allowed Emily to find something to her liking. "This is it," she examined the solid oak piece. "I think…" Emily turned to Derek for some advice.

With a nod he agreed. "I like the classic lines," Morgan offered. "Not too frilly. It could use a new coat of varnish, but other than that… she's a beauty."

"But isn't it too big?" she worried.

"Don't think so," Derek inspected the bookcase a little closer. "I eyed the space in your living room. It should fit," he assured her.

"Lovely craftsmanship on this piece," a man approached them. "An old friend of mine brought it in to us a few weeks back to sell. She's moved in to her daughter's place now that she's a widow. I'll give you a good price," he jotted down a number on paper and slipped it to Emily. "Fair price, no?"

She nodded. "Very," Emily handed the paper to Derek but he shrugged. She recalled that he hadn't wrapped his head around the conversion rate yet. "Can you deliver?"

"Absolutely. Possibly by tomorrow but more likely Sunday," the man let her know.

"That would be fine," Emily agreed. After she paid and arranged the delivery details she and Derek headed outside to find that the sun was nestled much lower in the sky than when they'd headed out hours ago. And Emily realized they'd walked a lot further than she had originally thought. "We should take a cab," she suggested.

"Back to your place?" Morgan didn't want to leave her just yet. "Or perhaps we could duck into that pub across the street and I could buy you dinner?"

"Dinner sounds like an excellent idea," she happily agreed.

xxx

Rain tapped a steady rhythm against her bedroom window.

Emily opened her eyes slowly, somewhat regretful of the last drink she'd had the night before. But hanging out with Derek was an event she hadn't wanted to end. They'd stayed at the small pub for hours, eating fish and chips, drinking far too many beers, dancing to the horrible music. Sometime after midnight they'd finally shared a cab which had dropped him at his hotel and her at home. Now she had a minor headache. But she didn't regret a moment of her evening spent catching up with Derek. She only regretted having to say good-night.

A knock at her door pulled her from thoughts of the previous night. She threw on yoga pants and a t-shirt before answering.

"Back again, huh?" Emily grinned brightly to see Derek outside her door.

Morgan smiled as well. "You're the only person I know in London." He held up one of the two bags in his hands. "Brought you breakfast."

"You can stay," she snatched the bag from his hand and stepping aside so he could enter. Emily stuck her nose in the bag and inhaled a lovely sent. "Chocolate croissants?" her knees nearly gave out in anticipation of the treat. "You spoil me."

"My flight home leaves Sunday night… I don't have much time left to spoil you," Derek remarked.

Her face fell. "I didn't realize you had to leave so soon." She did her best to hide her disappointment that he couldn't stay longer by rushing into her kitchen to grab two small plates and put the electric kettle on to boil. "You want some tea?"

His laugh filled the small kitchen space as he stood in the doorway watching her. "You had a bit of a British accent just now, when you said the word tea."

"No I didn't… I've only been here a few months," Emily dismissed his comment.

"I definitely heard it," Derek insisted. "Kind of cute."

Her eyes rolled. "Whatever, do you want some tea or not?"

"When in Rome," he replied.

She busied herself making the tea. Both plates were stacked with two croissants each. Emily walked everything out to her living room. She situated the plates and mugs on her ottoman and settled down on a section of the carpeted floor. "Breakfast is served," Emily motioned for Derek to join her on the floor and her impromptu table.

After devouring one croissant, Emily slowly savored the second by breaking off small pieces. She watched as Sergio mewed at Derek, begging for a scrap. Morgan didn't give in to the pesky feline. He wasn't cruel though, he just patiently swatted the cat away, which made her chuckle. "I wish it wasn't so rainy today," Emily watched the raindrops skid down her window panes. "But I could still show you some of the city's highlights, other than antique shops. We'd just need an umbrella."

Derek shrugged off her offer. "I'd rather stay here," he countered.

"You flew all the way from DC to stay inside a small flat?"

"No, I flew all that way to see you. I don't care about sightseeing, Emily. I'd just like to spend time with you. And we should stick around anyhow, your bookcase might arrive today," he dug through the second bag he'd brought along with him. "I found a shop where I picked up some varnish."

"If it comes today," she nibbled on her croissant and sipped tea. "There's really nothing to do here."

"You have a TV," he noticed.

"With only a few local channels," Emily replied. "I barely have the time to watch.

He was not daunted as he turned his attention to the unpacked boxes behind them. "We could read," Morgan set about opening the first box, feeling comfortable enough in her flat to do so. He eyed her cautiously, ready to stop if she gave him any sort of sign that he was intruding. But she simply watched him with amusement. And he found something that he promptly plucked from the box. "You have Scrabble? Did you actually ship this from DC? That's a bit crazy, don't you think. You can find a new Scrabble game anywhere."

"Shut up," Emily snatched it out of his hands. "This happens to be a very special Scrabble board," she ran her fingers over the worn out red and white box. The white spots had turned yellow years ago. "It's old and dear to me. It used to belong to my grandparents, they played all the time. And after my grandmother passed I would play it with my grandfather."

Derek felt bad for his somewhat insulting comment. "Would that be the grandpa that retired to the French Alps?"

"Yes," she smiled to think about the man. "He always loved that I wanted to play with him. It's the only thing of his I wanted after he passed away."

"You want to play?"

"Really?" her eyes lit up. "Heck yeah. Sergio rarely wants to play, and he sucks at spelling."

Seeing her so happy that he'd offered sealed the deal for Derek. He settled his butt back on the floor and helped her set up the game. Their first game lasted nearly an hour with Emily winning in the end. Derek didn't mind so much as they pushed all the letters back into the bag and started a new game. What he did mind was the odd word he spotted her using. "Hey, what is this," he pointed to the two letter word. "Jo… what is that, slang for a cup of coffee?"

"Nope," she wrote down the measly score for her word. "Some definitions hale it as a derivation of the word joy," Emily defended her word. "But I prefer the Scottish definition with the meaning of sweetheart or dear."

His eyes narrowed. "Are we playing Scottish Scrabble?"

She jumped up and glanced at the four large cardboard boxes. "It's in my English dictionary… which I know is in one of these boxes…"

"Get back over here," he tugged at her right hand and drew her toward him. Derek placed his hands at her waist and pulled her down so she was nearly sitting on his lap. "I don't need the dictionary to prove it for me. I trust you, Jo," with a smile he spoke the last few words softer than he'd planned. His hands remained at her waist.

Emily felt somewhat shell-shocked, seated half-way on his lap, his strong hands holding her close yet not restrictive. Her cheek brushed against his, their lips so close that she could feel his warm breath against her. Her mouth was so dry that she barely managed to get any words out. "It's nice to be trusted."

Morgan smiled, letting her go.

Hours later they were done with Scrabble and curled up on the floor together watching TV. Emily had gathered every blanket, pillow and comforter she owned. She'd piled them into a comfy nest that was almost as good as a sofa. With his head against her shoulder, Derek lamented, "I can't believe I actually watched that," he was nearly ecstatic to see the _Downton Abbey_ credits rolling. "The only kissing in that show was between two guys. And not even a likeable guy. That O'Brian lady was pretty nasty as well," he physically shuddered.

"It gets better," Emily insisted. "Lady Mary and Mathew are delightful together."

Derek frowned. "They're cousins, aren't they?"

"Oh, there seems to be a marathon on today," she pointed to the small TV screen, the somewhat ancient set she'd inherited with the flat. Another episode was beginning.

"No, please don't make me watch anymore," he groaned.

"You're the one who wanted to stay in all day," she reminded him.

A knock at the door saved Emily from the snide comeback on his lips.

Instead, Derek gratefully jumped to his feet. "Thank you to whoever is behind that door," he sighed with relief. "I really hope it's the lunch we ordered," Derek called over his shoulder as he walked down the hall to answer it. "Because some people around here don't seem to shop for food," he chided her just before looking through the peep hole. "Hey, it's your bookcase…" Morgan greeted the delivery guy and helped him maneuver the bookcase into the flat.

Derek was a man with renewed spirit having a project to work on. He immediately laid out a flat sheet as a drop cloth, promising to buy Emily new sheets if he ruined it. With practiced ease he sanded the whole piece lightly and then brushed on a thick coat of varnish. Emily watched him, delighted by the simple ease with which he worked. The bookcase looked ten times better, but the fumes were overpowering even with all of her windows open. Which is how they ended up outside on the very tiny balcony.

Emily sat on the metal grate between his legs. Her hands rested on his knees as they watched the sun set.

"Over there you can see about a quarter inch of Big Ben," she pointed. "And there…" Emily moved her index finger. "You can see about an eighth of the…" she trailed off upon feeling his warm, damp lips on the back of her neck. Her eyes closed, knowing that the last two days had been leading to this moment. She was both scared and intrigued. When he slowly turned her head to face him, all Emily could think of was the bomb attached to Will. She had praised herself that day for not overthinking the situation.

Now, as Derek's lips pressed against hers, Emily didn't overthink it. She simply kissed him back.

xxx

"Good morning, Jo," he whispered in her ear.

Emily adored him for adopting her Scrabble word in such a romantic way. She didn't ever want to move from the position she was in, waking up in Derek's arms, her head nestled happily between his arm and chest. Thoughts of their night together filled her with the greatest sense of satisfaction she'd ever known before. Not just a physical sensation, but an honest state of happiness. She knew what it meant, knew it wasn't anything she could ever turn her back on. But worry remained.

Morgan felt something warm and wet against his arm. He gazed down at Emily to find tears seeping past her closed eyes, pooling on her long lashes and slowly rolling down her pale cheeks. "Hey, what's wrong?" Derek gently stroked her cheek until she opened her eyes.

"I think _I_ was wrong," she sniffed, feeling rather foolish for her sudden emotional burst. "I thought that putting down roots in DC – buying a house – I thought maybe that would make me feel settled. And when that didn't feel right I chucked it all for a completely new job, a new country, and another new start…" Emily swiped her tears. "But it wasn't about any of those things. It was about you. All I really needed was to let myself open up again, love again. I've been so afraid of that since…"

"Doyle," he understood without her having to explain. Derek kissed her forehead. "I didn't do much to help," he acknowledged with a note of regret. "I've been sitting on my feelings for a long time too, Emily. I'm so sorry for that. But I want you to know now that I love you," he felt his doubts dissipate upon saying those words. It was very different than when he spoke them to his mother or sisters, or even to Penelope. With Emily it meant something else entirely.

"I love you too, Derek," the words pushed past her lips with a small bit of effort, but total sincerity.

He kissed her again. "So, what happens now?"

"You leave tonight and I mope around like a lovesick fool," she chuckled morosely.

He ran a finger down the left side of her cheek. "Or… you could be on that flight with me," Derek suggested.

"I have a job here now," Emily reminded him.

"I'm sure you could get your job back at the BAU," Derek replied. But he could tell she wasn't sold on that idea as he gazed into her eyes. "You don't want that job back, do you?"

She shook her head. "No, but not because I didn't like being there or love working with all of you. It wouldn't be right for the two of us to work together while in a relationship. And I sure don't plan to give you up for a job. Nor do I want you to lose yours over me," Emily ran her fingertips softy across the hairs on his arm. "I need to stay here for now. This job has become important to me, even if I took it for the wrong reasons. And there's Sergio to think about. He's been shifted all over the place this past year."

"Really?" he chuckled in disbelief. "You're saying you won't come back to DC with me because of your cat?"

"No, of course not because of my cat," Emily sighed. She took his hand in hers, weaving her fingers through his. "You know, you could leave the BAU and move here with me."

Morgan couldn't be mad at her after such a ridiculous suggestion. "Can you imagine me with a British accent? Or drinking tea every day," he shook his head and kissed her hand, his lips lingering against her palm. "Well…" he let out a breath. "There's phone calls, email, texting, Face Time, Skype…"

"And there are these new inventions called airplanes," she offered.

"Right, just a quick seven hour flight," he lamented, snuggling closer, never wanting to leave her.

"Some direct flights only take about six hours," Emily tried to sound positive about it all. "I'm not saying I won't ever move back to the states. It might be sooner than either of us think, but I really want to try and make a difference where I am right now. Clyde had faith in me, and I needed a challenge."

Derek put a finger gently against her lips. "Okay, you don't have to keep defending yourself," he assured her. "I don't like it, but I accept the situation." Morgan extracted himself from her embrace as well as from the bed. He pulled on a pair of sweat pants and encouraged her to get dressed. Then he led her into the living room. "Let's finish what we started here," he suggested, waving a hand at the re-finished bookcase.

Together they moved it into place against the wall he'd chosen. Then they carefully arranged every book she owned.

"Thank you for this," Emily whispered.

He kissed her temple, one arm wrapped about her waist. "Well, it was a bit selfish on my part," Derek revealed. "Because I think it will look great in _our_ living room someday, whenever you finally decide to make that leap," he ventured, glancing over at her to gauge her reaction to his comment. Morgan was pleased with the promising smile she wore. "_Whereve_r that place may end up being," he concluded.

xxx

Several hours later Emily stood outside the security check point at Heathrow. Her left hand was firmly affixed to Derek's right. "I should probably go through the line," Morgan broke the silence that had befallen them since arriving at the airport. "My flight leaves soon."

"I know," she whispered, afraid of her voice. "Am I being selfish, staying here?"

Part of him wanted to say yes, wanted to drag her back to DC with him and never let go. But he'd never do that to her. He wanted her on her own terms and knew she had some things to figure out for herself. He wanted to be supportive of her decisions, whatever they meant for him. His head shook briefly until he pressed his forehead against hers. Derek ran a hand down her back. "I know you hate this as much as I do. But maybe it will be good for us."

"Really?" Emily wore a doubtful face.

"Yeah," he remained strong enough for both of them. "You know, all that mumbo-jumbo about absence making the heart grow fonder," Derek smiled for her. "Not to mention the phone sex is going to be phenomenal," he whispered for her ears only.

That got a chuckle to rise from her throat. It was silenced by his kiss, tender and full of reassurance. "I miss you already," Derek whispered against her lips.

"I love you," Emily reminded him, finding the words easier to say.

"Love you too, Jo," he gave her a last, quick kiss.

She squeezed his hand, hanging on till the final second when he pulled away to join the long security line. "Promise I'll see you again?" Emily called out to him. She didn't care that people were staring at them and listening to their private moment.

"That's an easy promise."

"Soon?"

Derek wore an optimistic smile for her. "Soon as you learn how to swim across an ocean," he winked.

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	24. Juice

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

**Thank you all for your kind reviews, I hope you know how much I enjoy reading them! I'm working on some additions to the Text/Invitation series, but first a little something more to add to my Pact/Foster Kid series...**

* * *

><p><strong>Juice<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>Emily straightened the blue-plaid top sheet.<p>

"Shouldn't Zachary be making his bed?" Fran's voice trickled into the small room from the hallway. She entered to find that Emily was alone in the newly fixed-up bedroom.

Hotch and Rossi had dropped off a few things the night before, including the twin-size bed and sheet set which they'd brought as a donation to Emily's first night of foster parenthood party. It hadn't been much of a party, though, without Derek. But the rest of the team had brought items as well, including a desk, lamp, comforter, books and even some clothing they'd taken a chance on being the right size for Zach. Emily and Fran had both been touched by their kindness and generosity.

"I don't know," Emily looked up, nervously chewing her bottom lip. "Should I have him make the bed?" she asked. "Zach is downstairs eating breakfast. I told him to eat and get cleaned up before Mrs. Dayton arrived. But I should've had him make the bed, too, right?" she didn't wait for an answer. "I never had to make my bed growing up. We had housekeepers. And for some reason I keep thinking of Zach as a guest, but he'll be living here now. And parents should give kids chores to teach responsibility and…"

Fran placed a hand against Emily's shoulder. "Take a breath, dear," she encouraged.

The two of them sat down on the bed.

A huge exhale escaped Emily's throat and her shoulders relaxed a little. "I wish Derek was here," she lamented. "He'd be so much better at this stuff than I am." Emily sighed and turned her eyes upon Fran. "What if I made a mistake by asking Zach to live with us? What if I mess him up more than he already is? What do I know about twelve year old boys? I didn't even understand twelve year old boys when I was a twelve year old girl," Emily confessed.

Fran chuckled. "You need to relax," she instructed. "It's very likely you'll make some mistakes along the way. But I think all Zach needs to know is that you care about him."

"I do," Emily finally calmed enough to smile.

With Fran's help the bed was promptly put in order; two pillows aligned atop a perfectly un-rumpled comforter. They headed downstairs together and found Zach eating a bowl of cereal at the kitchen counter. "Do you have any juice?" the boy asked upon seeing Emily.

"Afraid not, kiddo…. I haven't been to the store in a few days," she admitted. "Derek and I were working the case and then I was at the hospital for several days and now…" she stopped herself short of using Zach's sudden appearance in their lives as an excuse. She didn't want to make the boy feel at all like a burden to them. "I'll stop by the store today, I can pick up anything you like," Emily offered.

The boy shrugged his shoulders indifferently. "Doesn't matter… I'll eat whatever you get. Don't go to any trouble for me," Zach quickly shoveled a few last bites of cereal into his mouth and finished chewing before he spoke again. "Should I wash these?" he held the bowl and spoon out in indication of his inquire.

"No," it was Fran who replied. "You can just put them in the dish washer." She watched the boy do as asked before he took off up the stairs without another word to them. Her eyes refocused on Emily who was bustling about the kitchen, boiling water and plucking tea bags from a tin atop the counter.

As soon as the water bubbled Emily finished making the tea. Then they sat at the counter. "Shouldn't we give Zach chores?" Emily asked Derek's mother again. "You indicated earlier that he should've been the one making his bed," she reminded the woman.

"Yes, he should have chores," Fran nodded as she blew on her hot tea. "But maybe wait a few more days. Give him a little time to adjust."

That advice sounded reasonable, but Emily was still full of conflicting emotions in regard to the newest member of their household. "I feel like I'm not doing enough," she spilled her fears to Fran. "Like I need to sit down with him and really talk things out, maybe?" Emily was searching for guidance. "I mean, at first he seemed so angry and now he's just so quiet. I'm afraid I missed my opportunity to open up a dialogue with him."

"Unfortunately, I have some experience with grieving children," Fran sighed. "I think you should just let him be for a while," she suggested. "In his aunt's care he had to be on the defensive, had to fend for himself," she went on. "Now that he's here he feels safe and relaxed enough to let the grieving process begin. And I think that means he needs to be by himself right now. But I'm confident he'll come around when he's ready. Maybe even sooner than you think," Fran did her best to sound reassuring.

Emily was grateful beyond words for the older woman's wise and comforting words.

The doorbell rang and Emily knew it had to be the social worker, Mrs. Dayton. She asked Fran to call Zach downstairs then went to answer the door. Mrs. Dayton greeted her with a brief hello and stepped into the house. Her short curly hair bobbled slightly as she followed Emily into the living room. "This is a lovely place," Dayton took a moment to express her admiration, but she was off in a flash to explore the rest of the living quarters.

"Um… thank you," Emily wore a proud look as she walked briskly to keep up with the woman. "Derek did a lot of renovation on the place before I ever lived here." She guided the woman through the rest of the main floor - dining area, kitchen and bath. "And this is my favorite place in the house," Emily swung the door open to her lavender room.

"A laundry room?" Mrs. Dayton arched her brows.

With an awkward grin perched on her lips, Emily nodded. "I helped paint it," she shrugged, not going in to the details of Derek's proposal in the room.

Mrs. Dayton cheerfully met Fran and Zach at the bottom of the stairs then proceeded to inspect the upstairs rooms as well. She was done in a matter of minutes. "I'm impressed that you pulled together a room for Zachary so quickly," she remarked to Emily.

"Good friends come in handy," Emily felt so nervous she thought it was plainly visible on her face that she'd never really taken care of a child before. Thankfully, Mrs. Dayton didn't seem to notice how terribly anxious she was feeling on the inside. "Can I get you some tea?" Emily offered. "Or is there anything else you need to see? Furnace system? Or maybe Sergio's litter box?" Emily shook her head. "Sorry, I make jokes when I'm nervous."

"No reason to be," Dayton replied. "Everything seems in order here. And I appreciate the offer for tea, but I have a busy day and need to get going," she headed toward the door.

Emily rushed after her. "So, that's it?"

"Not exactly," the woman paused; right hand on the doorknob. "You and Mr. Morgan still have some training to complete," Dayton reminded her. "Also, Zach should be back in school within a week or two. You'll have to decide if he'll return to his school in Alexandria or somewhere closer to where you live. He's also been assigned to a grief counselor. Those sessions will be twice a week to start. You can schedule them at a convenient time for you. And then there's the food bills," she finally cracked a smile. "Teenagers eat a lot."

"Right," Emily was serious for a moment until she realized the woman was trying to make a joke. "Thank you," she extended her hand, hoping that ending the encounter quickly would save her from making an even bigger idiot of herself.

Dayton's smile remained. "Relax," she implored. "I'll be in touch." With that she was out the door.

Fran regarded Emily as Mrs. Dayton left. With genuine concern she once again placed a hand against Emily's shoulder. "You can breathe now, dear," she kindly instructed.

With a relieved sigh, Emily wandered to the sofa and sunk down. Clooney was there, as always, curled in the corner. "Hey, pal," Emily stroked the dog's rumpled white fur. Sergio was missing in action. In fact, Emily hadn't seen him all morning. But she had bigger issues on her mind at the moment than a neurotic feline. "Not sure I could've gotten through that without you, Fran," she looked to the woman who'd sat down beside her. But then Emily searched the room. "Where's Zach?"

"He went back upstairs."

Emily nodded. "I need to pick up his things at his aunt's place today," she remembered. "Doubt he'll want to ride along," the thought twisted in her head for a moment. "Should I make him go with me?" again she relied on Fran's advice. "Does he need to confront her?"

"What's your gut telling you?" Fran replied with a question.

"That he's already had to deal with far too much of her cruelness," Emily felt zero doubt about the response. "I'll go by myself. He's going to have a hard enough time seeing her in a few days at his mother's funeral," she concluded. A grin quickly plastered itself over her anger toward Zach's aunt. "And I really need to see Derek. I think I'll stop by there before I visit the aunt. Then I'll need to grocery shop… if you'll stay with Zach?" she checked. "I hate to ask, but…"

"Go," Fran insisted. "Zach and I will be fine here."

Thankful once again for the woman's presence, Emily let her arms enveloped Fran in a warm hug.

xxx

Emily turned left when she should have turned right. Even though she'd been there before, and with all the signage in the hospital, she still felt like a mouse stuck in a maze. She finally arrived on the second floor of the south pavilion and from there had no trouble finding Derek's room. He was seated on the edge of his bed, dressed in sweatpants and a dark t-shirt. Emily wasted no time wrapping her arms about his neck and holding on tightly, though gently.

His lips pressed against her neck as he hugged her back. "Not that I don't enjoy a good cuddle from you, but what's up? Did something go wrong with the home inspection this morning?" Derek asked, his instincts telling him something wasn't quite right. "You okay?"

She pulled back a little to look him in the eye. "Tired, stressed, worried, didn't get a shower this morning… but my biggest problem is that I miss the heck out of you," Emily confessed.

He leaned forward and kissed her properly on the lips. "The feeling is mutual," Derek rested his forehead against hers. "So, how did the home inspection go?"

"Fine, good…" Emily nodded confidently. "Zach can stay with us. I just wish it was actually _us_ he was staying with and not just me right now. If not for your mom I'd be in way over my head. I really need you home to help me figure out what to do with Zach. I felt so confident when thinking about being a foster mom. Now I feel like I'm second guessing everything I do or say to him. I feel nervous all the time. I just don't want to complicate his life any more than it already is."

Derek squeezed her hand reassuringly. "Just breathe, Emily. Take some time to slow down," he encouraged.

"Now you sound like your mother," she grinned and took some deep breaths.

"Good person to sound like," he took no offence to the comparison. "Mama is great with kids. She did raise me right after all."

"You'll get no argument from me on that matter. I think you turned out very well, but I could be biased on that subject," Emily grinned. "Your mother is an angel," she added. "Far as I'm concerned, she can stay for as long as she likes," Emily informed Derek. "But I still really want you home."

Morgan's lips curled into a smile. "Then I guess it's your lucky day because I am free to go."

"What?" she was surprised. "Now? You can leave?"

His head bobbed. "These hospitals don't mess around. Once you're up and walking they kick you out. I was just getting ready to call and let you know the good news when you walked into my room," Derek kissed her wrist. "Almost like fate had a hand in it. Just like Zach coming into our lives. I believe it was meant to be."

Her eyes rolled. "You must still be on some good pain meds if you're spouting off about fate," she laughed.

"You may be on to something there," he agreed with a nod. "But I am free to go, already signed the release papers and everything. There's an orderly on his way as we speak. I can't wait to get home. To be able to walk laps around the kitchen's island. To sleep in my own bed, and especially to have you curled up next to me," he added with a brazen grin.

Emily bit her lip. "You do know I fixed up the room next to ours for Zach, don't you?"

"Meaning, we have to keep things quiet," he licked his lips. "I can be quiet."

"You're incorrigible," she lightly slapped his shoulder.

The orderly arrived a moment later with a wheelchair. He wheeled Derek out of the hospital with Emily right beside them. Once they'd gotten Derek situated in the SUV, Emily let him know that they wouldn't be able to head directly home. "I have to pick up Zach's stuff at his aunt's house."

He could tell she wasn't looking forward to that event. "Let's get it over with," Derek gave her hand one more reassuring squeeze before they left.

Kimberly Cooper was waiting for them when they arrived twenty minutes after leaving the hospital. She dumped a large navy blue duffle bag at Emily's feet as she and Derek stood on the front porch. "So he's in foster care now?" the woman snarled. She was young but aged by frown lines. "Good luck to the two of you. He'll never amount to much, you know that right?" Kim chuckled derisively at her own words. "Father was a no-good bastard. Boy is as well. Ruined my sister's life, the both of them."

It took every ounce of restraint Emily possessed to stop herself from punching the woman in the jaw. "Zach does not have to walk in his father's footsteps," Emily used defensive words rather than fists. "From what little I know of your sister she was a very smart, eloquent woman. Abuse doesn't just happen overnight. It's so gradual sometimes that you think maybe it was just him having a bad day. Then it becomes so common place that you feel trapped."

"She would've had the good sense to walk away if not for the boy," Kim quickly responded, as if she had all the right answers. "And he's no good. Ran away from me, stole a car… to hear you tell it. Stole your money too. No good," she maintained.

"Zachary is kind, smart, compassionate…" Emily listed just a few of the qualities she'd observed in a very short time knowing the child. "He's also dealing with a hell of a lot more than any twelve year old boy should have to. But with the right kind of help - with strong guidance through this tragedy - he will be able to move forward," Emily was confident. "He just needs someone to believe in him, someone he can trust."

"Sure as hell ain't going to be me," the aunt snapped.

Emily shook her head, not sure why she was bothering. "Thank goodness for that. It's going to be me," she spoke with more conviction than she'd felt all morning. "I'm going to do my very best to help that boy live a life that doesn't involve self-doubt or blame for what happened to his parents."

"And I plan to be right there beside her while she does it," Derek chimed in.

The aunt suddenly had nothing to say.

"Zach will be attending his mother's funeral on Thursday, with us at his side," Emily added. "I strongly suggest you stay a goodly distance away from him. Because if you try to start something with him you'll have me to deal with," Emily warned in a calm but authoritative tone.

The woman scrunched up her nose. "Whatever," she shrugged before slamming her door in their faces.

As they walked back to the SUV, Emily lugged Zach's bag over one shoulder. Derek beamed proudly. "Remind me to never mess with you," he chuckled.

xxx

Emily helped remove his clothes as he held on to her shoulders for support.

"Being stripped naked by you like this is not nearly as fun as it should be," Derek lamented as he carefully stepped out of his underwear one leg at a time. He felt rather like a little kid being helped by his mother. The twinge of pain in his lower back wasn't helping much to brighten his mood. But he had faith that the pain pill he'd just taken would kick in quickly.

"Soon you'll be strong enough for this showering together thing to be fun again," Emily promised as she peeled off her own clothes and stepped into the large tile shower with him. She was efficient but gentle as she helped him wash the hard to reach places like his shoulders and back. Emily was very careful to avoid his bullet wound and surgery incisions, which she had covered with plastic wrap and surgical tape from the hospital. She also had to swat his hand away when he tried to guide her washcloth further south.

"Easy there big guy," she shook her head, lathering up his chest and handing him the wash cloth. "You know what the doctor said about avoiding strenuous activity for a while."

His lips formed an exaggerate pout. "I'm sure you could make it not so strenuous for me," he arched his brows suggestively.

"Please don't make jokes right now," Emily's mood suddenly turned a bit sour as she decided to wash the day's worries away. It was only mid-afternoon but she felt it had already been one of the longest days of her life. She closed her eyes and let the warm water soak through to her scalp.

Derek abandoned his own washing in favor of grabbing the bottle of her berry scented shampoo. He poured a small amount into the palm of his hands and began massaging it into her hair while her eyes were still closed. He watched her eyes reopen and stare up at him, not seeming quite as upset. "I'm really sorry if I said something that made you mad, I didn't mean to," he apologized. "I'm just trying to put the last few days behind us."

"But it's not that easy, Derek," she sighed. "That bullet came so close to crippling you, close to killing you," Emily shivered.

"I'm sorry," he finally realized the extent of his mistake. Derek continued to massage her scalp, seeing that it was having a positive effect on her mood. "No more jokes, I promise. And no sex, even though that may kill me," he expelled an exaggerated sigh.

She finally flashed him a smile. "Come on, you big baby," Emily began to rinse her hair. "Let's finish up here so we can spend some time with Fran and Zach. I have a feeling your mom isn't going to stay much longer even though I'd like her to. And I haven't been paying nearly enough attention to Zach," she noted, "Even if he does seem intent on ignoring me."

Fifteen minutes later, refreshed with clean bodies and clean clothes, they plodded down the stairs and found Zach and Fran in the living room watching TV. Fran was relaxed in the recliner to the left of the sofa. Zach was seated on the sofa's right side, very close to the nearly-sedentary canine. "I like your dog," Zach initiated the first bit of conversation, aiming his gaze upon Derek. "Emily introduced us last night, said his name is Clooney," the boy recounted. "Why'd you name him that?"

Morgan caught the slightly jealous look on Emily's face.

She'd told him earlier that Zach hadn't spoken much to her, but Derek guessed maybe it was easier talking to a man. He'd clearly been a lot closer to his mother than father. It made sense that he'd have a harder time bonding with Emily, even after their initial closeness. "Ah, well… I was actually dating this lady several years back who was Clooney's original owner, got him as a puppy. She'd named him after the actor, George Clooney. She took off suddenly one day, left Clooney with me. We never heard another word from her."

"I'm sorry she left you like that," Zach remarked.

"It was over between us a long time before she left," Morgan shrugged. "I only stayed around because of Clooney," he reached down to pat the dog's belly.

"I took him for a walk before we had lunch. Fran said it was okay," the boy informed him. "I can do it some more if you want. Until you get better and can do it again."

Derek nodded, impressed by the child's willingness. "I'd really appreciate that, Zach. I think in time we should find a few other common chores for you to be assigned around here. And there will be a designated allowance tied to the proper performance of those chores. How does that sound to you?" he asked.

"Good," the child agreed.

Derek carefully bent down a little to greet his mother with a kiss to her cheek. "You smell clean," Fran noticed.

"Nice to have a shower after being cooped up in that hospital for days," Derek responded. "Even though they're meant to be sterile, they kind of make my skin crawl." He swiftly shrugged off that topic, hoping they all remained away from hospitals for a long time. "What are you two watching?"

Fran pursed her lips in thought for a moment. "I can't remember… Y-Men or Z-Men…"

"X-Men," Emily corrected the woman, seeing what was playing on the screen.

"That too," Fran grinned.

"I love my nerdy girlfriend," Derek squeezed Emily's hand.

Zach finally turned his attention to Emily, his eyes wide with curiosity. "You know about the X-Men?" the boy asked.

Emily was glad to have him speaking to her again, but she still tried to play it cool. "Sure," she nodded. "They've been around for years. I used to read some of the comics as a teenager, and watched the movie versions until the end of X3. I still can't believe how they messed up that movie; I always liked Cyclops and Jean Grey."

"Me too," Zach nodded. "Cyclops is my favorite of the X-Men, in the comics and cartoons and movies," he was happy to inform her of that fact. "In most X-Men comic and cartoon versions Cyclops' parents were killed. He became an orphan," Zach stated. "Just like me."

"That's right," Emily wore a sympathetic smile, but she didn't dwell on the matter. "I think I identified with the X-Men because they were different, outcasts. As a kid I was always moving around and never really felt like I fit in," She watched the boy nod in understanding. "Do you think Derek and I could watch the movie with you two?"

The boy nodded again. "It's okay with me."

She guided Derek to the sofa and sat him down on the opposite corner from Zach. Emily propped Derek's back with several pillows then plunked herself down in between them. She leaned her left side gently against Derek, curling her feet up under her legs. "What part are we at?" she eyed the boy, directing her question toward him in order to engage him a bit more. "They haven't gotten to the dam yet, have they?"

"Nope," Zach confirmed. "It's still early. It's almost to the part where Jean stops the one missile with her power but the other one hits the blackbird and Rogue…"

"Hey…" Fran interrupted them with a wave of her hand. "Some of us have never seen this movie before and would like to be surprised."

"Sorry," the boy apologized.

Emily winked at him and leaned to her right to whisper in his ear. "I like that part when Rogue falls out of the plane and Nightcrawler goes to rescue her."

He wore a small smile. "Me too."

"And the end is so sad when Jean sacrifices herself for all of them," Emily sighed.

"I know," Zach nodded, a touch of sadness clouding his eyes again.

She felt bad for bringing that sorrow back to the forefront of his mind. When she clasped a hand over his, Zach didn't pull away. He even flashed a thankful look her way. Sergio interrupted their moment, jumping onto Emily's lap and mewing for attention. "Where've you been, buddy?" Emily scratched the spot behind his right ear that she knew to be his favorite. She chuckled when he thumped his left hind leg in appreciation of the gesture.

"I saw him a few times earlier today," Zach spoke up again. "He jumped on my bed this morning and when I tried to pet him he took off. Then he was running around the kitchen when Fran made us lunch. I tried to catch him then but he took off again."

"He's a bit of a pill," Emily confided in Zach. "Poor guy has been moved around a few times this past year, and he's a little shy around new people. I think he just needs some time to get used to having you around," she tried to assure the boy.

"I know how he feels," Zach empathized. He watched her stroke the cat's dark fur and he bravely reached one hand toward the animal. The boy was pleasantly surprised when Sergio didn't recoil from his touch. Zach smiled at Emily as he continued to gently pet the cat. "I helped Fran put away the groceries you bought. There's orange, apple and grape juice."

Emily nodded. "Yeah, well, you wouldn't tell me which kind you liked so I got a variety."

Zach mashed his lips together, feeling guilty. "Sorry," he apologized for his aloof behavior. "Grape is my favorite kind, but I like all of them. Thanks for buying me juice."

"You're welcome," Emily replied, happy to know he was aware of being treated with kindness and recognized it with gratitude. "If there's anything else you need, you can ask," she encouraged. As she watched the boy's attention return to the movie, Emily had faith that he wouldn't let his father's atrocities or his aunt's harshness dictate his life.

Derek wrapped an arm around Emily's shoulder. His words were for her ears only, "Sometimes the small things matter most." He watched her nod. "I think you're doing just fine with this foster parent gig all on your own." Derek reiterated his words with a tender kiss pressed against her temple.

"Oh, no… you're not getting off that easy, mister," her head shook as she snuggled up even closer, though still mindful of his back injury. "Maybe I could do it alone, but that's not the plan. You're sticking with me through this whether you like it or not," Emily laid down the law in a playful yet resolute tone.

"Yes, ma'am," he promptly obeyed, truly happy to be home.

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	25. Fight

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

* * *

><p><strong>Fight<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>"We need to talk."<p>

Derek cringed as he watched her stand in the doorway between their master bath and bedroom. Light from the bathroom cast her silhouette in shadow. Every time he stared at her he thought she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. But no four words put more fear in him. Derek swallowed. "About what?" he braced himself. His eyes followed her as she rubbed lotion into her hands and walked across the room toward the dresser.

She finished moisturizing her hands and then shed her day's clothing. Emily stood, naked, with her back to him as she rummaged through her pajama drawer. She pulled out a red nightgown that was more comfy than sexy, but still showed a bit of skin. It was cruel on her part to distract him in such a way, but she was not above trying to use a little leg to sway his opinion. "You've been out of work for over two weeks now," Emily stated.

"Yes…" his eyes narrowed as she moved toward the bed. Derek had no idea where their conversation was headed, but he wasn't fooled by her trickery. "And nearly two weeks ago you berated me for trying to seduce you in the shower. Claimed my back was in no condition for such strenuous activities. I know you haven't given in on that matter yet because of what my physical therapist keeps saying about not over doing it," he relayed. "So, before you tease me to the point of no return, I suggest you tell me what's on your mind."

"You're very good, detective," Emily sat down on the bed beside him. She dropped all pretenses and kissed him briefly. "Did your physical therapist say anything yesterday about when you might be able to return to active duty?"

His head shook. "You're still dancing around something, lady."

"Okay," she sighed. "My original plan fell through because your mother decided not to stay here in DC with us."

"What was your original plan?" Derek inquired. He wouldn't have minded his mother staying, but he'd known all along she'd never abandon Chicago or her daughters who lived there.

"For both of us to keep working at the BAU and have your mom here to look out for Zach when we were in the field," she revealed. "Anyhow, now I've been thinking you probably wouldn't be back at work for a while so I should stay on with the team until you're ready to return. They can't really afford to be two members down for much longer," Emily observed.

Morgan nodded. "That sounds fine. You can go back to work any time you want, Emily. I appreciate you taking all this time off from work to look after me, but I can manage for a while on my own," he assured her. Derek paused a moment to gaze upon her lovely body again. "Why all the subterfuge with the red nightgown?" he inquired. "Not that I don't love you in this one," his left hand rested against her thigh.

Her hand came to rest atop his and she caressed the rough patches of his knuckles. "Do you think Zach really needs someone home with him all the time?" Emily began again, delving a little further into the heart of what she'd been thinking about. "He's not a little kid. Of course he's not really old enough to be home alone either. So one of us should at least be here for him before and after school. Right?"

"I try to be a pretty open minded guy, but I'm not cut out to be a stay at home dad," Derek was quick to declare. "I'm with you on this parenting thing, and we can foster another kid if you want or have one of our own. But I can't handle diapers and soccer practice runs on a full-time basis."

She laughed. "I wasn't thinking that," Emily assured him. "Although I bet you'd do fine," she added. "But, no, I was actually thinking maybe after you rejoin the BAU I could take a position in another department. Maybe something that is more nine to five so I'm at least home with Zach in the evenings and there for him in the morning, see him off to school. I know I talked before about not working at all, but I don't think I'm ready for that yet."

He smiled, relaxed again. "You don't need my permission for that," Derek conveyed. "You know, I'm not sure you understand the true power of those words."

Her brows wrinkled. "What words?"

"We need to talk…" he smiled. "They've been known to start many a fight between couples."

"Is that right?" Emily shrugged. "I'm a make love, not war, kind of gal." She reclined into his kiss. His supple lips were warm and inviting, but he pulled away before anything more could come of their union. Not being with him for so long was torturous. But she loved his willingness to abide her wish about being fully well before making love again.

"It's not nice to be a tease," he whispered. "I have at least another two weeks of taking it easy."

She kissed him again, slowly, enjoying just that small bit of intimacy. "Maybe in two weeks we should have a real fight. Then we could have fabulous make-up sex."

"Maybe," he kissed her neck, behind her ear, his hand caressing her thigh. "I think you should apologize for wearing this enticing nightgown," he whispered.

"This is cotton," she defended.

"It's red," Derek countered. "With a slit."

Emily laughed. "And what did you have in mind as sufficient apology?"

"A nice long sponge bath, for starters," he wore a serious face as he began to list the other demands. "I could also do with a good shoulder massage. Then we can move on to you feeding me ice cream, because that's much too strenuous a task for someone in my condition. And we can end the evening with a hot pad for my back and you snuggled up beside me. Oh, and a baseball game on TV to fall asleep to," he concluded.

She slapped his hands away and sat up. "I will get you a hot pad and a bowl of ice cream. I'll even curl up next to you and watch some baseball, but you can be the one to feed me ice cream as punishment for trying to take advantage of my sympathetic nature."

"Please," he scoffed. "You're about as sympathetic as a rock," Derek playfully goaded her.

"And you've just downgraded yourself to a package of pop-tarts and a bed all to yourself," she pulled away from him, threw on a robe and slipped out the door.

xxx

A half hour later, Derek scooped a spoonful of chocolate ice cream out of the bowl in his left hand. He let it hover near Emily's lips for a moment then pulled it away just before she could take the bite. He quickly shoved it into his own mouth. "Yummy…" he savored the cool treat as she stared at him with mock contempt.

Emily waited for him to finish the bite. Then she leaned toward him and kissed him wantonly. The taste of chocolate on his lips was almost enough to distract her. Instead, while he was distracted by her kiss, she deftly disarmed him of his bowl of ice cream. Emily sat back against the headboard in triumph and shoveled a large bite into her mouth. She grinned happily as he glared at her. Her attention was returned to the TV. "Just swing at it already," Emily grumbled at the baseball player on screen.

"They can't swing at every pitch, Em," Morgan tried to explain. "They read the ball and can usually tell if they have a chance to get a hit off it or a…"

"It seems rather silly to me," she interrupted him. "They spend so much time… the wind up, the pitch, scratching, spitting… it's all so slow and boring."

His mouth hung open as he shook his head at her. "I… I can't even be in the same room with you right now," Derek lamented. He pushed his hands against her shoulder, shoving her away from him. "Just go," he playfully taunted. "Take your ice cream and be gone, woman."

She rolled her eyes at him. "You're crazy."

Derek laughed as he pulled her beside him again. "Maybe I'm going crazy; stir-crazy…" he sighed. "I've spent way too many days sitting and doing nothing."

"Spending time with me is nothing?" Emily wore a pout.

Morgan leaned in and kissed her. "Not at all," he whispered. She caved under his charm, giving him just enough time to steal the ice cream back.

"You're impossible," she folded her arms across her chest.

A soft knock sounded against the outside of their bedroom door.

"Come in," Derek called out.

Zach pushed the partition open and hung in the doorway.

"What's up, buddy?" Emily asked, flicking off the TV with the remote. She regarded the boy, noticing that he seemed more reserved and nervous than when he first came to live with them a few weeks ago. And it was hard not to remember him on the day of his mother's funeral. He'd tried to be strong, but had ended up weeping openly in her arms. She'd held him for hours afterward the two of them huddled together on his bed. But the next morning he'd announced with great conviction that he wanted to start back at school right away.

They'd found a good school close to where they lived and he took the bus. Every time she asked how his day had gone he'd give the simplest answer possible. Fine. Good. Okay.

"It's late," Derek observed. "You should be in bed. School tomorrow."

"That's what I need to talk to you about," the boy finally spoke.

Emily realized what Derek had been worried about earlier. The boy's words about needing to talk frightened her. "Is something wrong at school?"

He nodded. "I can't go to school in the morning…" Zach took a shaky breath. "Because the principal suspended me for the rest of the week."

The first emotion to hit them was anger. Then concern. "Why?" Derek managed to push the one-word question out.

"I got into a fight last week," Zach confessed. "Since it was my first week and my first offense, they sent me home with a note. But I never showed you." He quickly began to explain the rest before they could respond. "It was just a yelling fight. But today I pushed Bobby Feltcher to the ground because he kept… he always teases me about my dad being a murderer, which is true so I can't really say anything back. But today he said I was going to grow up and be just like him."

With carefully controlled words, Emily pointed out, "That's still no reason to push him."

Zach sighed. "I know. But those are the same things my aunt said to me. I wanted to hit her when she said them, but I knew that was wrong. I shoved Bobby, though, even though I knew it was wrong too," he sucked back the tears threatening to fall.

"Why didn't we get a call about any of this?" Emily asked.

The boy stiffened. "I told them you were both out of town working and couldn't be called."

"Zachary, they're not stupid," Emily shook her head. "They'll call here eventually, or maybe they already called Mrs. Dayton. What if they think you're not being properly looked after in our care? Did you think about that?"

"No," the boy admitted.

"And you might be in more trouble for lying about it to the school," Morgan pointed out.

"You sure as heck are in some serious trouble for lying to us about all this," Emily added.

He nodded. "I know, and I'm sorry… I just… I get so angry sometimes," Zach's hands balled into fists as he spoke. "I've been holding a lot of stuff inside. I try to be nice when I don't feel like it, like in school with my new teachers. They all want me to participate so I do. But all I keep thinking about is my dad. I'm really, really angry at him and it makes me want to hit things. Even when Bobby Feltcher isn't making fun of me, some days I just want to hit something or someone," he confessed.

"You can hit a wall," Derek suggested. "I'd gladly patch up some wallboard rather than have you expelled from school."

"As of right now, you're grounded," the word escaped Emily's lips with a great deal of difficulty. They'd been dreaded words from her parents all though her teenage years. She'd heard them plenty. And she hated having to pull them out now after hearing Zach confess his feelings to them. But it was still a necessary evil. "You don't leave the house unless you're going to the grocery store or somewhere else mundane with Derek or me."

Zach faced them with acceptance of their terms. "Can I still take Clooney out for walks?"

"No," Derek shook his head. He hated having to take that away from the boy. It was already clear that Zach had bonded with the dog, and the feeling seemed mutual where Clooney was concerned. The old bulldog, who rarely left his spot on the sofa, had taken to sleeping on Zach's bed the last week and a half. Derek hated talking away Zach's walking privilege, but he knew it was something the boy looked forward to and he knew it would be reasonable punishment. "Not for the next two weeks," he clarified.

"And since you'll be home the next few days…" Emily jumped in again. "You'll be assigned a book to read, of my choosing. You will also do a book report on it, either verbally or written. If you choose a verbal report it will consist of me asking you questions about the story. Otherwise I'll expect a two page report, either typed or handwritten."

"Okay," the boy nodded.

Seeing the child's quick agreement, Derek decided to end his punishments there. "It's late, pal. Go to bed," he insisted.

Zach was about to leave but made a sudden swerve in his course and went to Emily. He flung his arms about her. "I really am sorry," he apologized again. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you what happened, and sorry that I got into trouble. I'll try not to do it again."

"Hey," she tried to stay strong even though she wanted to cave completely and take back his punishments. "I know, buddy," Emily gave him a last squeeze and then held him at arm's length. "You've got some trust rebuilding to do," she let him know, looking him in the eye. "But that doesn't mean I care about you any less, okay? Derek and I are here to love and support you any way we can. I hope you know that."

He nodded again, sniffing back his tears. Zach's eyes moved from Emily to Derek. "Can Clooney still sleep on my bed?" he bravely asked.

With a sigh and a quick nod, Morgan agreed. "Sure, but only if you get to bed now. No more stalling," he commanded.

The boy took off without another word.

Emily leaned heavily against Derek's shoulder. "That was utterly painful," she groaned. "I do not ever want to revisit that aspect of parenting again."

"I'd say it's pretty unlikely that wish will come true," Derek regrettably informed her. "He's not even a full blown teenager yet. I think we have several more years of fun ahead of us."

She sighed with regret. "He's such a smart kid. I know he is. I saw his school records when we enrolled him."

"What, you never had a rebellious phase?" Morgan asked. "I find that hard to believe."

"Of course I did," Emily readily revealed. "But I smoked weed and had sex far too young. I never hit anyone. And, amazingly enough, I never got suspended or expelled from school."

"How about detention?"

"That's another story that we don't need to go into right now," she shook her head.

Morgan grinned. "He's struggling, Emily. Are we surprised?"

"Of course he's struggling," Emily acknowledged. "And I understand there's always going to be a hole in his life caused by his mother's death. And there will probably always be anger and confusion over what his father did. But when do we stop allowing him to use that as an excuse. He needs to learn how to control his anger before it gets all balled up inside and explodes in a worse way than pushing a school mate. What is this therapist of his doing to help, anyhow?"

That thought had crossed Derek's mind as well. "Maybe we should try some sort of family counseling… see if we can learn how to discuss these issues with Zach a little better."

"It's worth a shot, much as I detest therapist," she chewed her bottom lip.

Derek kissed her forehead, impressed by her willingness to help young Zach even when he knew how much she hated discussing her own feelings. "There's something else I'd like to propose. I didn't want to bring it up with Zach until I talked to you about it, but I'd really like to teach him Judo."

"You want to encourage him to fight?" she sat up a little so she could look him in the eye.

"Not at all. Judo teaches far more than just fighting techniques," Morgan insisted. "It can channel aggression, let it release in a more structured manner. And wouldn't you rather he sparred with me or hit a punching bag instead of a kid at school?"

Emily resumed her reclined position beside him, snuggled beneath the sheets. "Okay," she closed her eyes, suddenly very tired despite eating a bunch of chocolate ice cream, "But no training until you are back in top physical shape."

He kissed her softly. "Deal."

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	26. Anniversary

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

* * *

><p><strong>Anniversary<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p><em>Ladies and gentlemen, we have a full flight this morning so please move out of the aisle as soon as you've reached your seat in order to help speed our boarding process.<em>

Emily fastened her seatbelt as she listened to the calmly-stern voice of the flight attendant through the overhead speakers. She was thankful of her frequent flier club status which had allowed her to be one of the first to board. The only trouble was that it gave her a few extra minutes to worry about her last-minute trip to DC. Things between her and Derek had been affectionate and fun the last two months since his visit to London, but the distance aspect of their new romance was trying.

When they spoke of it, Derek was always supportive of her staying on in London.

But she couldn't shake the feeling that he was just humoring her, biding his time until she decided to move back to DC.

Realizing she had just a few minutes left before take-off, Emily pulled out her cell phone. It was a little past midnight in DC but she began the text anyhow, knowing he wouldn't receive it until morning. And by then she'd almost be there. _**What do you have planned this weekend?**_ She typed the banal message. They often exchanged such idle chatter, curious about each other's daily life since they couldn't be there with one another. _**Hope you'll be around for my surprise. Love you.**_

Her thumb hovered over the send button, uncertainty clouding her thoughts. Finally she pressed down. It was sent.

Emily then quickly powered off the mobile unit in preparation for the flight. With a sigh or uncertainty, she closed her eyes and drifted off even before the flight departed.

"Excuse me…"

As the heavy fog of sleep slowly began to lift, reality started to return. She was on a flight to the states, probably half-way over the ocean now with no way to turn back. Emily could feel the gentle rumble of the airplane she was on. A baby was crying somewhere behind her. And her neck was stiff from the upright position she'd fallen asleep in. She cracked an eye open and spotted a young girl staring at her from the first-class seat beside her. A smile came as she fully opened her eyes. "Hello," Emily greeted the child.

The girl smiled in reply. Her blue eyes sparkled and a head of dark hair framed a face that Emily guessed to be eight or nine. "They're serving the meal soon," the child informed her. "I thought maybe you'd want to eat. But if you don't then I'm real sorry I woke you."

"No worries," Emily assured the girl. "I am hungry," she sat up straighter, massaging the kink in her neck from resting her forehead against the window.

"I'm Molly," the girl introduced. "And I figured you'd probably want the meal, even though plane food isn't all that great. But it's one of the few perks of longer flights. I know most of the short flights in the states don't give you anything but drinks now." She shook her head. "When I visit my grandparents in Australia last winter they took me all around the country and we went on these really short flights that served us a full meal. It was lovely," she concluded.

Finally finding a moment to speak Emily gave her name as well. They shook hands just as the flight attendant dropped off their breakfast.

"Do you live in England or the states?" Molly asked as she forked a bit of scrambled egg.

"London," Emily replied as she tried to casually look over the girl's shoulder, thinking she might see a set of parents nearby.

Molly nodded. "Me, too," she sipped her juice. "With my mom. I'm on my way to visit my dad right now. He was born and raised in the states. Then he took a job in London for a while, which is how he met my mom. They got married, had me and all that. Then he decided he hated London. Mom didn't want to move to the states, so they got divorced and I became the child of a bi-coastal divorce. Or something like that," the girl shrugged.

There was another small pause and Emily was about to say something, but Molly spoke up first.

"Why are you going to the states? To visit your family? You don't have much of a British accent so I bet you grew up in the states like my dad?"

"Actually," Emily was finally able to jump into the conversation. "I grew up in several different countries. My parents were ambassadors. But the states are most like home. And I'm going to visit a friend of mine there this weekend."

"Is he a boyfriend?" Molly immediately inquired.

"Yes," Emily munched a piece of fruit. "He is my boyfriend," it sounded a bit silly to call him that. It still seemed foreign to her at times. And yet she couldn't wait to see him and spend actual time with him rather than virtual time.

The girl ate silently for a moment, but the quiet didn't last long. "I bet he's really cute. You're very pretty so I bet you have a real handsome boyfriend. Do you have a picture of him?"

After another forkful of melon, Emily fished her phone out and pulled up a shot of Derek that she'd taken during his London visit. His hands were covered in varnish from working on her bookcase, but he faced the camera with a goofy grin, the corners of his eyes bunched the way she loved so dearly. "This is Derek," she presented.

"He is cute," Molly nodded. "I approve."

Emily chuckled at that, powered down the phone again and resumed her meal.

"Are you going to marry him?" Molly didn't last long in silent mode, not even while she was eating. "If you do, make sure you really want to spend the rest of your life with him because if you have kids they deserve to have two parents in their lives at all times. It's not so much fun when they split up."

"We haven't even talked about marriage," Emily revealed before covering her discomfort with food.

Molly promptly dropped that subject matter but she did manage to talk Emily's ear off for another half hour before finally excusing herself to the bathroom. A flight attendant stopped by while Molly was indisposed. "I'm sorry about Molly. I know she's a bit of a talker," the woman apologized as she leaned toward Emily and cleared their food platters. "But we try to move her around so she doesn't bother our other frequent fliers who've complained about her."

That news made Emily feel a bit sick to her stomach. "She's really no trouble at all," Emily insisted. "Our chat has helped the time fly."

In fact, the last three hours of the long trip did indeed zoom by with Molly's talkative company. Emily learned all about the girl's three cats, her all-girls private school education and how much she still hoped for her parents to reunite. Emily even walked Molly to the arrival gate along with the flight attendant. And they exchanged contact information before Molly rushed into her father's waiting arms. The girl waved as she took her dad's hand. "I hope Derek is happy to see you!" she exuberantly exclaimed before disappearing into the crowd.

With a happy grin, Emily rolled her carry-on toward the taxi station outside.

She decided to take a page from Molly's energetic and hopeful outlook on life, so she hailed a cab and anxiously awaited her arrival at Derek place.

xxx

With his go bag slung over the right shoulder, Derek dutifully marched up the short set of steps and entered the BAU jet.

He yawned and stuffed his bag into one of the storage compartments at the back of the jet. It only took a quick glance around to see that he was the first member of the team to have arrived for the early morning take-off. He spotted the laptop already set up on the small table and slid himself into the window seat at the table. Derek knew Garcia's lovely face would soon greet them all to go over the case details. But there was one face he wanted to see more.

Morgan pulled out his phone and re-read the message that Emily had sent - the one that had been waiting for him upon waking up:

_**What do you have planned this weekend?**_ _**Hope you'll be around for my surprise. Love you.**_

Another groan escaped, the same as it had upon first reading the message. It was Halloween in two days and she always liked to tease him about the holiday. Every year since she'd discovered his distaste for the holiday, she managed to surprise him in some way that never amused him. Once it had been to place a plastic snake in his BAU gym locker. Another year she'd arranged for his alarm clock to wake him up to classical music at 3am. He still wasn't sure how she'd pulled that one off, though he guessed Penelope had helped.

Last year she hadn't pulled a Halloween prank on him. Instead, she'd come to him on the day and apologized again for the way she'd led them all to believe her dead.

Derek was past that, though. Way past it. Part of him dreaded any Halloween prank she might try to pull, even from across an ocean. But part of him longed for it dreadfully, because he knew it would be another step in healing the past. Being teased by Emily Prentiss was the best gift he could hope for, short of her arriving on his doorstep.

He finally took a moment to compose a reply text message:

_**Only plans this weekend are work. The team is headed to San Francisco this morning on a last minute case. Aren't they always? But I'll be checking behind all my doors when I get home, you little sneak.**_

And of course he had to add: _**Love you, Jo. Always.**_ It had become his standard farewell to her.

"Who is Jo?"

Derek actually jumped and nearly fumbled his phone. He recovered quickly and turned the phone off to hide the message. But Reid was staring down at him with a curious gaze that let Morgan know he wasn't likely to drop the subject matter until he replied. "No one you know."

"Is it a woman?" Spencer persisted.

By that time JJ and Rossi had boarded the jet, and clearly heard enough to pique their interest. "A woman?" JJ inquired. "Is Morgan dating someone?" she eyed Reid, knowing she could get him to spill just about any secret.

The genius shrugged. "He won't say."

"Maybe he'd actually like some aspect of his life to remain secret," Rossi spoke up as he and JJ sat down at the table across from Reid and Derek.

"Thank you," Derek relaxed a little.

The laptop in the center of the table sprang to life and Garcia's image slowly solidified. "What secret are you all talking about?" she asked, clearly having overheard some of the conversation long before she'd made her visible presence known.

"Derek has a girlfriend," Reid was quick to point out. "Maybe."

"Maybe?" Penelope darted her eyes about the table, searching via her small web cam window for some morsel of information. "What does that mean?"

Spencer shrugged again. "I just saw part of text message with something about the words love and the name Jo."

JJ watched Morgan and felt bad for her initial interest. She knew better than some how hard it was to keep a private life in the mists of the BAU team. They'd all become family over the years, and they'd been through so much together, but she understood that some things you didn't even want to share with family or best friends. Some things you wanted to keep all to yourself, at least for a little while. "Leave him alone, Spence," if anyone could throw the genius off the hunt it was her.

Garcia was another issue all together. "Jo…" she echoed the name. "Could be short for Josephine, Joan, Joanna… Joy…"

"It's short for: none of your business, Miss Nosey," Morgan finally laid down the law.

"Could just be a typo of Joe," Reid added. "The male version of the name."

Silence filled the jet for several seconds.

"If that is the case you can tell us," Garcia insisted. "You know you can tell me anything. I would never judge y…"

Morgan shook his head. "All I will tell you is that Jo is very much a she. And I don't want to share her existence with any of you just yet. Okay?"

"Fine with me," Hotch's voice echoed through the cabin as he strode down the jet's center aisle. His words shut them all up. "We're about to take off, Garcia," he promptly stowed his bag and sat on the long bench across from the rest of the team. "Let's get started on breaking down this UnSub," he concluded.

xxx

When the cab driver parked alongside the curb Emily felt like a little kid, butterflies dancing in her stomach.

She stepped out of the vehicle, wrestled her rolling bag out of the back seat and then paid the driver. The cool end-of-October air sent a shiver through her. As she trekked down the concrete walk and then up the three steps to Derek's porch, Emily couldn't wait to be wrapped up in his warm embrace. It was just after eight in the morning by the time she came to knock on his front door. She knew his routine, up at 7:30 and straight into the shower, coffee by eight, out the door by eight thirty.

One day he'd texted her before each step of his morning routine.

That memory, coupled with the fact that he hadn't answered the door yet, prompted Emily to fish the phone out of her bag. She noticed then that she hadn't switched it back on since landing in DC. The first message to greet her was a reply from Derek: _**Only plans this weekend are work. The team is headed to San Francisco this morning on a last minute case. Aren't they always? But I'll be checking behind all my doors when I get home, you little sneak. Love you, Jo. Always.**_

"Damn," Emily sighed, realizing her surprise trip had just fallen through.

xxx

Working as fast as she could, Garcia willed her keyboard to figure out the identity of their UnSub. The lights in her lair were intentionally low in an attempt to offset the glow and hum from various pieces of technology. "Yes, sir, I found the link to the other three victims," she spoke to Hotch via speaker phone. "But all I have is his face, no name. I keep hitting a road block with the facial recognition software. It's like the guy doesn't exist, except I have this picture which means he does exist, but…"

"Garcia, just find me something," Hotch hung up abruptly.

The tech nodded. "Yes, sir, of course… I'll just pull a name out of thin air. Or conjure it with magic…" she babbled. "What does he think I am, some sort of…"

"Miracle worker," Emily supplied one option for her friend.

Penelope spun around so fast that her overly coiffed blonde hair whipped against her face. "I don't know who you think you are, but do not ever sneak up on me like that agai…" the tech's initial anger soon dissipated when she realized who the intruder was. "Emily?" even then she was shocked to see her dear friend standing just a few feet away.

"Well, at least I managed to surprise one person with this visit," Emily grinned, though it wasn't the person she'd hoped to see.

After several hours of shopping and sitting at a café lamenting her horribly timed surprise, and also the BAU's nasty propensity to ruin any fun plans, Emily had sucked it up and decided she might better expel her energies in a useful manner. Thus she'd ended up at the BAU to see if she could be of any use to the team. Granted, her motives were swayed slightly toward the prospect of getting Derek back to DC before she had to head back to London in a few days.

Garcia jumped up and squashed Emily in a bear hug. When she finally stepped back she smiled from ear to ear. "This is a lovely surprise," but the words were barely out of her mouth when her smile faded. She slid back into her chair and focused her gaze on the computer screen. "Except we've got a real bad one out in San Fran and I have no idea how to track this guy down… he's like a ghost, which is kind of funny considering that Halloween is tomorrow."

"I know that guy," Emily stepped closer to the computer monitor. The real reason for her visit promptly faded from thought as she eyed the man's picture. His sandy hair and green eyes had come across her desk in London recently. "He's part of the drug trafficking ring in Russia that I've been working on," she relayed as Garcia listened. "Pretty sure he's running the whole damn thing, but the guys we captured a few months ago only spoke of him as 'Stone King' and never gave a real name."

"Well, if he is the same guy…" Garcia pulled up a series of pictures of several dead women. "He's changed his game. Three young girls dead in as many days have been found in San Francisco alleys. All had drugs in their system and had been raped. And at least twice that many have been reported missing in the last two days. Teenagers, eighteen, nineteen," she relayed. "They're not runaways or prostitutes. I'm talking good kids, in school, excellent grades…"

Emily chewed her lip. "I need to make a call," she slipped out of the tech's lair and did just that. She returned in under twenty minutes. "Still not sure of his real name, but he entered the US two weeks ago under the name of Anton Vanko."

"How did you…" Penelope stared in awe at her friend. "You know what, never mind…" the tech pounded on her keyboard and found all the information she needed in a matter of seconds. She was on the phone immediately. Derek answered. "Our UnSub is traveling under the name Anton Vanko. He came here via a container ship, the OFSC Matochkin, which is docked at the Port of Oakland. If I was a betting woman, I'd say he's probably planning to leave the same way - most likely with a container full of human trafficking cargo."

"You are the best, mama," Derek remarked.

"Normally I'd be happy to have such praise heaped upon my shoulders. In this case, however, I was helped immensely by a super-secret deep throat informant who shall forever remain nameless," Garcia gave Emily a quick wink.

The call was ended but Emily still wore a happy grin to have heard Derek's voice. "Now that the team will be returning soon," she aimed her smile at Garcia. "I'm hoping you have keys to the home of a certain male colleague of yours?"

Penelope's eyes narrowed in thought for a moment. Then they went wide. "Oh my goodness, do you by any chance occasionally go by the name Jo?"

"It's a term of endearment," Emily was sure her cheeks had flushed a deep crimson as she revealed the truth. Her relationship with Derek was never meant to be a secret, but it was something they'd both decided to keep close to the chest for a while – something they wanted to savor for as long as possible.

Garcia shook her head, "Why that sneaky little… you're both sneaky," she noted without malice behind her accusation. "I never thought either one of you would act on it."

"It?" Emily questioned.

"JJ and I talked about it a few times, even Rossi mentioned it to me once," the tech still hadn't said much and she could see the question lingering on Emily's face. "You know… your attraction to him and his to you. Well, it's always been very subtle and you two were far too professional to act on it, or so we all thought."

"Nothing happened between us until after I left the BAU," Emily defended. But she realized she didn't have to be stealthy about the issue any longer. "You all really talked about us, about the attraction between Derek and me?"

With a hand to her heart, Garcia opened her eyes wider. "Derek? You've been talking about Derek? I thought you were talking about Reid all this time."

Emily easily detected that her friend was joking. "Do you have a key to Derek's place or not?"

"Why, yes, I do," Garcia beamed. "But I'm afraid I can't help you if you're planning something nefarious?"

"Just a few dozen lit candles in his bedroom," Emily explained her plan. "And me laying on his bed dressed in… well, nothing…"

"In that case I shall find you the key straight away," Penelope eagerly chirped.

xxx

Wind gusted and swirled around Derek's neck as he moved swiftly from the driveway to the front door of his house.

It was cold outside, to say the least. A fierce fall storm was brewing. But that didn't seem to stop the throngs of children bustling up and down his street to trick-or-treat. They were dressed in a multitude of costumes - from superheroes, ghosts and witches to historical figures and even a few fruits and vegetables, much to Morgan's surprise. All he cared about, though, was making it into his house without being seen. He'd never been fond of the holiday and didn't pass out candy most years. Of course most years he was off on a case.

Thanks to Garcia's sleuthing he was home within thirty-six hours of leaving for San Francisco; a quick cross-country case for sure.

And he was ready for a good night's sleep, but not before sending Emily one more text to see if maybe she was awake. It was nearly five o'clock in the morning London time and he knew she was sometimes up that early. Even seeing a short message from her would help him sleep happily through the night. And he was still curious about her surprise, though he didn't want to rattle that cage too much. Derek was hoping to fall asleep before any Halloween prank could befall him.

Only halfway to the door that hope crumbled as he glanced to the second floor of his house. The two-story colonial was the newest on his list of fixer-uppers over the years. And, while he often left cans of paint, brushes and other tools lying about the place, he was always sure to turn off lights when he left. Except for the front porch light for security reasons. But currently there was some sort of flickering light coming from his bedroom window. Possibly a flashlight.

"Shit," he swore softly under his breath. He hoped it was Garcia helping Emily out and not any actual thieves or Halloween prankster teenagers.

Derek keyed his lock as quietly as possible, dumped his bag just inside the door and then crept silently toward the stairs. The second floor of the house was dark and the wind whistled through the old un-insulated walls. It was already a scene from a bad Halloween flick before he drew his weapon and pushed open the door of his bedroom. "Hello?" he ventured inside, immediately checking behind the door. "My name is Derek Morgan, I'm an FBI agent and this is my home you're intruding in," he warned.

First thing he noticed was candlelight, not a flashlight.

There were at least a dozen small tea lights set in clear-glass votive holders that he was almost certain he did not possess. His eyes narrowed with confusion and curiosity. It didn't seem likely teenagers would break in to light candles. But he'd seen enough odd things on the job that he wasn't ready to dismiss the idea just yet. Of course tons of other scenarios were also playing out in his head; some girlfriend from the past with a sudden bunny-boiling obsession, or a disgruntled loved one of an UnSub he'd helped take down.

He also couldn't dismiss the possibility of someone connected to a recurrent UnSub such as The Reaper or Ian Doyle.

Morgan tried to shake those thoughts. "Garcia, I swear if you…"

When a set of hands covered his eyes Morgan reacted as anyone in his position would. He struck back, defensively slapping the offending hands away. He spun around and aimed his weapon on the intruder. Morgan was nearly ready to shoot first and ask questions later, maybe, if the burglar was lucky enough to be alive. Thankfully he took a split second to look his intruder in the eye. She was wearing some sort of Zorro-type mask. But more noticeable than that was the fact she wasn't wearing anything else.

"Dang it, Emily…" his sigh of relief was angry and pleased all at once. "You know I hate Halloween." Derek finally let the gun in his hands slip to his side. But his heart still raced.

"Really?" she wore a grin; clearly unaware of how close she'd just come to having the man she loved shot her. "Even though I'm standing here in front of you as the naked bandit? Even though it's our two month anniversary today?"

"Naked bandit?" Morgan couldn't help chuckle at that. But his heart ached a little upon hearing the last part of what she'd said. "It's our anniversary?" He tried to think of a way out of the dog house, but he was too tired. "I completely forgot," Derek confessed.

"I figured." She wasn't upset at all as she moved in closer. Her lips pressed softly against his as she reached for his gun and disarmed him. The kiss ended abruptly as she walked across the room, intentionally giving him a good view of her backside. "It's only two months," Emily spoke again while stowing his weapon in the top dresser drawer. She turned around to face him again, leaning against the dresser and removing her mask. "Hopefully we'll have more."

He watched her as she remained several feet away, taunting him. Derek knew she knew she was torturing him. And he was too weak to care. He stalked across the room in a few short strides and lifted her effortlessly. "Many more," he whispered the words against her lips as she wrapped her legs about his hips. Derek moved her toward his bed. "As long as you promise to never try to scare me on Halloween again." He laid her down upon the soft comforter.

She sat up, reached out to touch his chest, run her hand along his broad shoulders. Emily was about to begin the, hopefully quick, process of undressing him when Derek's hand stopped her. Her face was drawn into lines of consternation. Emily eyed the pout that marred the usually handsome ruggedness of his jawline. "What?"

"You have to promise," Derek stood firm.

Emily was impressed by his restraint given that they hadn't made love in months. It was a small price to pay, though. And pay she did. "Promise," the word had barely rolled off her tongue before he pounced on her. Shrieks of laughter, desire and love followed long into the night.

xxx

While the sun was still asleep early the next morning, Derek grudgingly got out of bed and crept to the bathroom.

Emily protested with a grunt as his warm flesh retreated from hers. Her eyes were barely open as she watched him pad naked across the hardwood floor, which was no doubt chilly to the touch. With a school girl crush of emotions she waited impatiently for the three minutes he took to finish in the bathroom and reemerge. As he started back toward her Emily made silent plans to ravage his body again, at least once more before any breakfast touched her lips.

Only halfway across the room he stumbled and nearly fell. Derek swore and hopped on one foot while rubbing his twisted ankle. All the while he wore a face that was half frown and half smile. And she wondered if her heart could handle another separation from his crinkly-eyed grin. "You okay?" Emily finally let some concern shine through.

"I suppose I'll live," he groaned, glancing down at the item he'd tripped over. The bag's store label caught his attention. "You bought shoes? You've barely been in town long enough."

Her smile was only slightly apologetic. "I was disappointed you weren't here. I had to console myself with a bit of shopping."

"They've certainly got soles," he teased.

Emily laughed and held a hand out to him. "The shoes only comforted me for about an hour, tops. Then I went to the BAU to figure out a speedy way to get you back home."

Derek pondered her words, but he didn't have to think on them very long. He stood at the edge of the bed starring down at her, holding her proffered hand. He caressed it and kissed her palm. "You wouldn't by any chance sometimes be known as: super-secret deep throat informant who shall forever remain nameless?"

She shook her head. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

It was a doge and he knew it. But he didn't care.

As Derek slipped back into bed beside her he was still in awe of the fact that she was there in his bedroom. That they'd spent the whole night together. He let the fact be known in the way he clung to her again, head rested against hers, a hand protectively splayed across her bare belly. "Just so you know… if you were a super-secret deep throat informant, you helped save fifteen young girls from being illegally transported out of this country. You could be very proud of yourself."

"I'm just glad you were there to stop the bad guy." Emily let her eyes close, trying to block images of what those poor girls must have endured for even a short time. "I wish all of our cases worked out as well as it did this time."

He watched her for a long time, wishing the very same thing. But a more important wish came to mind. "You know what I wish?" he asked, kissing her neck. "I wish there'd be a sudden snow storm today so we could get snowed and you wouldn't be able to fly back to London. Ever."

Her eyes opened. "I have to fly back the morning after the morning after today."

"So two whole days?" he was at least brightened by that notion.

"You can take time off?" she hoped.

Morgan kissed her lips. "I'll quit if that's what it takes to get the time off."

xxx

Walking hand-in-hand through Dulles International, Derek and Emily silently prepared for the separation that was to come.

They knew it would be worse than the last time.

Their two days together had passed far too quickly, even though they'd spent most of their time in bed, on the sofa or soaking together in Derek's Jacuzzi tub. The brisk fall air had continued its howl and taunting storm routine. There had even been a bit of snow fall. But not nearly enough snow had fallen to trap them for good, or even a few days. Now, as they strolled slowly toward the security checkpoint, they each had heads full of unspoken words and hearts full of longing.

"Maybe we should plan our next visit," Emily finally broke the silence.

Derek squeezed her hand. "Or… you could just promise you'll stay," he suggested. "Right now, stay with me?"

"I can't," she wore an apologetic frown.

"Please?"

"Derek, no…"

He sighed and drew her hand to his lips. "Promise, please," Morgan persisted. "Just say you'll stay. It's that easy."

"No," she chuckled softly. Emily knew it wouldn't be easy even if she could stay. "You're behaving rather childishly right now. Is this a tantrum?" Emily tried to lighten the mood. "I've always admired your persistent nature, like when you will stop at nothing to track down an UnSub. But I'm not so sure I like this begging side of you."

Morgan leaned toward her as he spoke, "You liked it last night when I begged you to…"

"Hey!" she shushed him, her eyes darting around the busy airport. "Let us not speak of such things in public."

"Stay with me and I'll make that promise," he said.

Emily sighed, somewhat frustrated but mostly sad. "I can't, you already know that."

"Then marry me?"

"N…" she stopped herself short as the full force of his words hit her. "What?"

For several moments they could each only hear the hustle and bustle of the busy airport. The collective thrum of rolling suite cases, the garbled voices over loudspeakers, the low rumble of a nearby escalator and the constant chatter of patrons young and old. "I can't think of any other way to get you to stay here with me," Derek finally said.

Her eyes narrowed. "How very romantic of you."

"I'm sorry." And he truly was as he looked her in the eye. "I didn't mean it to sound like… look, Emily, this isn't how I planned it."

"You… uh…" her mouth went dry suddenly. "You've been planning a proposal?"

"Sort of, in my head at least," Derek confessed. "Though it was never meant to be in an airport or in the heat of the moment. It was meant to be in a nice restaurant or on a beach or in my living room with a fire crackling in the background." He sighed. "I was also supposed to have a ring on me and I haven't gotten that far either." His shoulders sagged a little. "But one thing about my proposal is right, and that's the fact that I love you. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

The airport hum filled their ears again for a seemingly long time.

"It's too soon, isn't it?" Morgan asked, unable to take the silence for a moment longer. "Except it doesn't feel too soon to me, it feels right. For the first time in my life I know what I want. I want to be settled, with you."

Emily was still in a mild state of shock despite the sincerity of his words. "Can I think about it?" She feared that the words sounded as horrible coming out as they had in her head. But she let them settle between them, hoping he wouldn't misinterpret her hesitation.

It was certainly not the response he'd been anticipating from her. But he loved her enough to know it was better than an outright no. "Sure," Derek nodded, still hoping for a chance to persuade her. There was once a time in his life where he would've run far and wide from marriage. That time had evaporated the second Emily first confessed her love to him. "But maybe you could have an answer for me by December? Because I'd really like to take you to Chicago for mama's birthday this year. And I'd like to introduce you as my fiancé."

"Derek, I'm not saying no. And I'm not saying yes right now, but not because it's too soon or a lousy proposal, but because…" she sighed. "Because I've jumped into so many things in my life and messed them up big time. When I joined the BAU I was hiding from my past, from the debacle of what happened with Doyle. Then I met you and you shook my hand that first day and you made me feel welcome. It wasn't love at first sight but it did change my life. _You_ changed my life. I came to trust you like no one before."

She smiled for him, hoping he wasn't upset with her. "I love you so much, Derek. And that's why I don't want to rush into this. I need some time to wrap my head around the idea of marriage and what it will mean for us. I want to make the right decision, because I never want to hurt you. I never want to mess up what we have," Emily confided.

"Okay," he effortlessly agreed, touched by the way she'd just poured her heart out to him. "I'm sorry I ambushed you like that. I never meant to pressure you. I just really miss you when I'm not with you," Derek kissed her gently. "Can we make a plan like you mentioned? Will you still go to Chicago with me in December? It doesn't have to be as my fiancé, just my friend," he assured her. "Please?" he was still not afraid to beg.

To that request she found her response much easier to say, "I'd like that."

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	27. Scream

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

_**Thank you to those still reading and commenting. I appreciate it! Life (meaning work) is busy right now but I'm trying to write as much as possible. Please enjoy this little piece.**_

* * *

><p><strong>Scream<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>Zach poured a bowl of fruit loops and drowned them in milk.<p>

"What are you wearing?" Emily asked as she entered the kitchen and instantly gravitated to the percolating coffee pot. She stood in front of it, inhaled deeply and then sighed. Her daily coffee pot sniff was as close as she got to drinking it. Emily moved to the tea kettle and brewed a cup of green tea instead.

"What do you mean?" Zach's words were garbled through a mouthful of cereal.

Her eye roll had always been well honed, but she'd learned to perfect it living with a pre-teen. "You're wearing shorts," Emily waved a hand at his leg attire. "The school doesn't allow you to wear shorts. Long pants only."

"Other kids do it," the boy replied. "The teachers never say anything. And it's supposed to be really warm today. And school is almost out for summer anyhow."

She watched Derek walk into the kitchen and quietly pour a mug of coffee. Emily guessed he'd heard some of the conversation and was happy enough to let her handle the issue. "I don't care if other kids get away with," her tone was stern but not angry. "I've read the school manual and shorts are not allowed. And even though school lets out in a few weeks, I think you've had enough trouble for one school year not to rock the boat again. Understood?"

The boy swallowed and nodded. "Got it," he agreed.

Derek stood behind her and kissed her neck. "Well played," he whispered in her ear.

Emily didn't say anything until after Zach finished his cereal and ran up the stairs. Only then did she finally relax against Derek's shoulder. "Ever since Zach came to live with us, it seems like every time I open my mouth I hear my mother's voice coming out. It makes me a bit sick to my stomach."

Morgan chuckled. "It happens to the best of us, Em. I caught myself telling Zach to wash behind his ears the other day. I wouldn't worry too much about it. You turned out alright."

"At least I let him eat cereal with absolutely no nutritional value," she grinned. "Of course that could be why he's getting into trouble at school and…"

His hands rested on her hips. "Emily," he stopped her verbal worrying. "Cereal is not the root of his issues. Trust me. You're doing great."

Zach returned in record time dressed appropriately. He hesitated a moment when he saw the two adults standing so close in the kitchen. "Emily?" his voice was cautious as he sat his backpack down on a stool. The boy waited until her attention turned his way. "Do you know if that Dickens guy wrote any other books after Oliver Twist? I kind of liked that book and I'd maybe be interested in reading some other stuff by him."

"Yeah," Emily did her best to play it cool in regard to Zach's obvious reading interest. His oral book report punishment had been very insightful. She'd seen his interest in the subject shine through in his answers. "I actually have several more of them on the shelf in the living room. You can help yourself," she offered.

"Thanks," he smiled.

Glancing at the clock on the microwave, Derek realized how late it was. "We need to get going if I'm gonna get you to school on time," he eyed Zach.

"Meet you in the car," Zach said as he slung his bag over one shoulder and headed for the door.

"Hey, wait up!" Emily called after him. She rummaged through her purse and fished out lunch money. As she handed him the money Emily looked him in the eye. "You remember we have our first group therapy session this afternoon, right?" she watched him nod. "So I'll pick you up right after the last bell. And you'll be on the front steps waiting?"

"Okay," Zach nodded.

She gnawed her bottom lip. "You are okay with this, aren't you? Talking stuff out with Derek and me there?"

"Yep, sure," he agreed before quickly slipping out the door.

Derek gave her a reassuring smile. "It'll be fine. Stop worrying so much, the day is young," he implored. Derek took the time to give her a proper good-bye kiss.

"You'll be there at four this afternoon?" she half asked, half reminded him.

He gave a quick nod. "I'm still on light duty at work, no field trips. I'll be there," Derek promised. He pressed one last kiss to her lips. "How about you?" he asked while creeping toward the front door with her hand still clasped in his. "Will any decisions be made today about which department you're going to transfer to?"

Emily groaned. She hated not being with the BAU, but she knew it was for the best as far as their personal lives were concerned. It was just that the idea of a nine to five desk job did not excite her. "We shall see," she shrugged. "But my only real plans today are to take Clooney for a walk, clean out Sergio's litter box and grocery shop."

"Have fun," he quipped, and was out the door a second later.

She was left with a quiet house and not much enthusiasm for any of the chores she'd just listed. Sergio charged into the room more like a hyperactive cheetah than a domestic house cat. But the second he reached her leg he melted into his sweetest mewing kitten impression. "Just you, me and the old guy today, Serge. What shall we do in this big house?"

Sergio meowed long and loudly, as if in answer to her question.

"A morning spent licking my paws clean followed by a nap?" she pretended he actually had responded. "Sounds great," Emily agreed.

xxx

After a relaxing day at home, and a rather productive shopping trip, Emily sat stiffly on a small sofa in the therapist's office.

Derek was beside her and Zach was reclined in a chair to the left of them. The boy looked relatively at ease. Emily figured that was because he'd been talking to the therapist for several weeks now and was used to the routine. Emily, on the other hand, feared the man was about to ask her how she felt about her parents and what her childhood had been like. Not subjects she cared to dive into. But she was relieved when they started off chatting about Zach's progress at school.

"I like English," the boy responded. "Emily had me read Oliver Twist a few weeks ago when I was home on suspension. It was really good. I felt like I could relate a lot being an orphan and all," he shrugged. "I always liked to read with my mom…" Zach swallowed. "She taught English before I was born," he revealed. "She was really smart, but she didn't talk down to people or anything like that. A lot like Emily."

"Sounds like Emily helped you rediscover a love of reading?" Dr. Baxter gently prodded.

Zach nodded. "Yep. I'm glad."

The therapist turned his attention upon the adults. "As you know, I can't go into detail about Zach's sessions with me, but I'd like to let you know that he's shown a great deal of progress in dealing with his grief. And now it seems even school is becoming a bit better."

"I like most of my teachers," Zach's mood continued to be cheery. "And Derek is teaching me some Judo, not much yet because he's still recovering. But I think I might be good at it. He says I've got excellent hand-eye coordination," the boy smiled proudly.

"You enjoy doing things with Derek?" Dr. Baxter asked Zach.

Another nod came from the boy. "Yep. He's nice to me. He was home a lot and not able to do much so I walked his dog."

"I think Clooney's more your dog now," Derek noted with a smile. "I honestly thought the old guy didn't have much life left in him, but now he'll climb the stairs just so he can sleep in Zach's room. And he follows Zach around like a puppy."

"Seems like your household has welcomed Zach a great deal," the therapist replied.

Emily fiddled with her nails, trying hard not to pick at them. "I hope so," her words were rather melancholy. She looked around the room to see all eyes aimed her way. "I mean, I know I've done as much as I feel I can to welcome Zach into our lives and our home. It just feels a little strange some days," she paused a moment. "Not in a bad way," Emily was quick to clarify. "It just… I guess maybe I wish it wasn't so tenuous."

"What do you mean by that?" it was Derek who asked rather than the therapist.

She sighed but summoned the courage to say what she felt. "I feel like maybe social services is going to send him off to another foster home at any time," she revealed. Emily hadn't really realized until that moment how much she'd come to care about Zach in a very short time. "I wish his being with us was more permanent. But then I wonder if I'm really up for being a full-fledged parent and not just a foster parent. And I know it's probably way too soon to be thinking about adoption anyhow, because…"

"No it's not," Zach interrupted.

Silence befell the room for several seconds. But a horrible scream pierced the quiet.

Emily and Derek actually jumped to their feet upon hearing the noise. They stared at the wall to their right, which was clearly the direction the scream had come from. Several moments later another ear-splitting shriek echoed through the wall. "What the hell?" Emily finally turned to the therapist who remained in his seat.

"I'm sorry," Dr. Baxter apologized. "That would be Carly. She's a young patient of my colleague and I'm afraid she doesn't like therapy. In fact, she doesn't like much of anything as far as we can tell. Certainly not sitting still or taking baths or talking or being touched," he rattled on. "Or any kind of authority..."

His words were interrupted by another high pitched scream that Emily thought might break glass if any was nearby. "What the hell is your colleague doing to her?" Emily didn't wait for an answer before she exited Baxter's office. She moved toward the door of the room where the girl was still shrieking. Emily's heart broke to hear the pounding on the door and also what sounded like scratching against the wooden partition. She reached for the doorknob and twisted it only to find it locked.

"That is a private session," Baxter said as he, Zach and Derek came to join Emily in the hall.

"Sounds more like torture," Derek replied, seeing that Emily felt the same way.

"She's just a difficult child," the doctor replied.

But as the screaming continued at levels far too painful to be that of a willful child, Emily's favorable opinion of Dr. Baxter plummeted. She didn't give a damn about privacy as she pounded on the office door. "Open up!" Emily shouted, nearly ready to pronounce her FBI status to the therapist behind the door. She knocked again when no one answered.

Derek put a hand to her shoulder. "Emily, maybe we shouldn't interfere with…"

She spun on him, her eyes narrowed with frustration. "You really think this is normal, for a child to be screaming her head off like this?"

Knowing that it wasn't, Morgan joined her, both their fists pounding on the locked door.

It finally opened a moment later, but just a small crack. "Excuse you," a tall thin man scolded them like they were menacing children. "I'm in session here and…" the man's words faded as the door flung open and a tiny figure with messy dark hair rushed past them and down the hall. "Now see what you've done," the thin man was annoyed. "She'll run and hide and I'll be damned if I'm going to spend the rest of my day trying to pry her out of whatever corner she's found to cling to," he huffed.

Emily only gave the man a moment's glare. "I'll find her," she declared and was off.

The office building was five stories and Emily had seen the girl head for the stairs. Derek followed her and when the cool stairwell air hit them they weren't sure which direction the girl had fled, up or down. "We should split up," Derek suggested as he headed down.

She took off again, climbing the stairs two at a time. There were two floors above her and she didn't relish the idea of searching every nook and cranny of the offices on both floors. But something about the little girl's screams had her willing to do whatever necessary to find her. Thankfully she heard a noisy clue as she reached the fourth floor. It was coming from higher up so Emily ran to the fifth floor landing. The noise was still slightly above her.

A door to the roof was clearly marked when Emily came upon it. And it was obviously locked as she spotted the tiny girl jiggling the doorknob with all her might.

"Carly?" Emily kept her voice soft as she crouched down to the girl's level. "I don't think you're going to escape that way.

The girl twisted her body around, both hands still on the doorknob.

With a heavy heart Emily regarded the child. She smiled for the girl even though her heart broke again at the sight of the frightened girl. Her arms and legs were stick thin, an obviously too-big t-shirt and shorts were hanging off her narrow frame. Dirt clung to her cheeks. Her rosebud lips were dry and cracked. And her dark brown hair was clumped and matted all over her head. The only thing that shined with life was a set of indigo blue eyes, wide and deep-set. They were studying Emily with keen interest.

"It's okay to be scared," Emily spoke, not sure why she'd said those particular words. But she swore the girl relaxed a little upon hearing them.

"Emily!" Derek's voice boomed as he approached. "I didn't have any luck downstairs. How about you?"

As soon as he appeared Emily felt two tiny hands attach to her leg. She looked behind to see Carly's face buried against her left thigh, beautiful blue eyes hidden from view. Emily wanted to comfort the girl with a hug or even a hand to her shoulders. But she refrained, knowing Carly was only touching her on her own terms. And she didn't want to frighten the girl away again. She put a finger to her lips to quiet Derek. "Why don't you go back to Baxter's office," she suggested. "We'll meet you down there."

He nodded and left.

"He's gone now," Emily whispered to the girl. "But he's a good guy, he wouldn't hurt you." Carly didn't budge from her position. "Come on, mouse, let's get you back downstairs," Emily insisted. "You can hold on to me if you want."

The girl did remain attached to Emily's leg the whole way back down.

"I'll take her back now," the tall thin therapist declared upon spotting them.

"No, you won't," Emily replied without any qualms.

His lips pursed, causing him to look even sourer than he sounded. "She is my patient," he declared.

Emily shook her head. "Then maybe you should be more sensitive to her needs."

"She's a difficult child who _needs_ discipline," the man expelled.

What Emily really wanted to do was ring his little neck, but she used words to fight back. "No, she's a frightened child who's been abused and needs a gentle, kind hand."

"What basis do you have to declare she's been abused?" the therapist tried to hang on to his superior position. "Do you know her story?"

"Not at all," Emily's tone remained calm. "But I know human behavior. I see how she clings to me, and she's scared to even look at you, Zach or Derek. So obviously there was a man in her life at some point who hurt her a great deal. And given the fact that she's all of, three maybe four years old, I'd say it's a safe bet that male figure was her father."

"Step-father," a new voice joined their conversation.

Emily turned to see Mrs. Dayton standing behind them. "If you'll excuse us, Dr. Young," the woman addressed the excitable therapist. "I'd like to speak with Derek and Emily alone."

"But the girl?" Dr. Young maintained his ornery behavior.

Dayton smiled to see the girl holding fast to Emily. "She's clearly in good hands," the social worker replied dismissively. With the doctor banished to his office, Dayton led the rest of them out to the large waiting area. She implored them all to sit. Zach and Derek took seats beside one another with Dayton to their right. But as Emily tried to sit, Carly detached and dove for cover under the nearest chair. Emily wore a concerned face as she finally sat down.

"She'll be fine," Mrs. Dayton spoke. "She does that a lot. Hiding makes her feel safe."

"So she was abused?" Emily asked, wanting to know more.

Mrs. Dayton nodded. "We found Carly abandoned in an apartment building. Her step-father was dead. Drug overdose. The neighbors had called the landlord about a smell," she sighed remorsefully. "Carly had never made a sound, never left the apartment. Police think she was there at least five days with the body."

Even though she'd heard similar horror stories over the years, it still broke Emily's heart to hear Carly's tale. "Where's her mother?" she asked.

"She was in jail when she gave birth to Carly, never really took care of the baby. She got out when Carly was two and died of an overdose three weeks later. Apparently Carly's been living with her step-father for the last two years without any official adoption or guardianship paperwork. She slipped through the cracks," Dayton informed them with regret. "She's been in a group home for two months now. She barely eats and hasn't spoken a word. Doesn't want to take baths or have her hair touched, or any part of her touched.

"Screaming is pretty much the only reaction we get when we offer food, clothing, anything," the woman continued. "Dr. Young was not my first choice to work with Carly, but our limited funding means we have to take what we can get. Baxter and Young donate time because it makes them look good," Dayton concluded.

Derek had felt his frown deepen with each new detail of Carly's situation. "So what happens to Carly now? She keeps falling through the cracks?"

"Well…" Dayton began, but was cut off.

"I think Derek and Emily should take her in," Zach declared.

Emily was shocked by the boy's sudden comment, and the obvious insistence behind it. "She's not a stray puppy, Zach."

"I know," the boy nodded.

"We barely know her and she doesn't know us," Derek added.

Zach shrugged. "You hardly knew me when you asked me to live with you," he pointed out, aiming his words more toward Emily than Derek at the moment. "And we know she touched you even though she won't touch anyone else. She's drawn to you, just like I was. I think she knows you want to help her, just like I knew the same thing about you."

"The boy does make a good point," Derek agreed, feeling himself drawn to the girl's plight and swayed by Zach's emotional plea. He'd always had a soft spot for family, namely his mother and sisters. He'd loved and protected them with a great deal of pride. Now those feelings had shifted to the family he and Emily were slowly creating. Morgan eyed Emily. "What do you think?" he asked. "We do have the guest room we could fix up."

She was somewhat surprised by Derek's sudden shift. And she wanted to remain hesitant about the idea, but the truth was that she felt the same as Zach. The second Carly had latched on to her in the stairwell she'd felt a connection to the child. Emily took Derek's hand but spoke to Dayton. "Is this even an option?"

"Are you kidding?" Dayton sounded relieved. "After two weeks of being Carly's caseworker I figured the likelihood of someone wanting to foster her was pretty much infinitesimal. I predicted a life of growing up in a group home for her and after that, well, I couldn't imagine her adult life if she made it that far," the woman honestly relayed. "If you'd like to take her in I would support your efforts one hundred and ten percent," she beamed. "I actually couldn't think of anything better for her."

Derek stood, still clasped firmly to Emily's hand. "Would you give us a moment?" he spoke to Dayton while encouraging Emily to stand.

"Absolutely," Dayton replied.

Emily followed Derek to the far corner of the room where they spoke in whispers. "What do you think?" Morgan spoke first. "Taking Zach in will look like a walk in the park compared to caring for Carly," he pointed out.

She nodded, her eyes glancing toward the chair that the little girl was still curled beneath. Zach was down on all fours, gently trying to coax Carly out of hiding. "It would be a full time job," Emily finally faced Derek. "But you know I've been wavering on what my next move at the bureau would be. Maybe this is a sign that I'm meant to retire."

"You did consider it when Zach came to live with us," Derek said. "And when we talked about having kids of our own."

"What if…" she sighed. "What if Carly latching on to me was a fluke?" Emily worried. "What if she never comes around to me again? What if there's nothing we can do to help her?"

He wore a strong smile for her. "I don't think I've ever known you to give up on anything," Derek stated with certainty. "You gave up a huge chunk of your life to join the BAU so you could be close to Declan, to protect him. You died last year to protect the team. I think you're one of the bravest, smartest, most compassionate people I know," Derek insisted. "If anyone can get through to Carly, it'll be you."

"We must be crazy," her head shook, already knowing she wanted to take the girl home.

With a nod he kissed her forehead. "A good kind of crazy," Derek reassured her.

They walked back to where Mrs. Dayton was seated. "I can already see the decision on your faces," the woman stood and took Emily's hand. "You're a saint."

"Hardly," Emily laughed at the comment. She aimed her eyes toward Zach and Carly again. The girl hadn't budged, but neither had Zach. "How does this work? Same with Zach, we just take her home? Or do we need to wait a while?"

Dayton arched her brows. "You both completed your training coursework and are fully licensed foster parents now. I'd say the only wait is going to be how long it takes you to pry Carly out from under that chair. I have a booster car seat in my Volvo that I can loan you until you get one of your own," she offered.

"I'll go grab it from you now," Derek suggested. "Let Emily and Zach see if they can convince Carly to go home with us."

Emily flashed a smile his way, grateful for his offer. He knew the girl was frightened of him and figured they'd have better luck without him around. She didn't think she could love Derek any more, but that act of kindness had just pushed him even deeper into her heart. With Derek and Dayton out of the room she got to her knees beside Zach. "Any luck?"

"Nope," the boy shook his head but he didn't sound defeated. "I tried bribing her with the promise of ice cream, books, pizza and meeting Clooney and Sergio. None of those worked. Do you think she understands us? Maybe she never learned to talk."

A sigh escaped Emily's lips. "Hard to know," she shrugged. "But she can scream, I guess that's a start." Emily aimed her attention to the girl. "Carly, I know you're still scared and that's okay. But Zach, Derek and I would like you to go home with us. No more group home for you. You can have your own room at our house. How does that sound?"

Carly didn't move or make a peep.

"It's a real nice house," Zach said. "And they have a back yard. I bet we could get you a swing."

"Yeah," Emily agreed. "Maybe we could get one to tie in a tree. You could be a little monkey swinging in the trees."

The girl's eyes widened and she crawled out from under the chair.

"Do you think she came out because of the swing?" Emily whispered to Zach.

"I don't know, maybe it was the trees," he shrugged. "But I think she understood something we said."

Carly went to Emily and wrapped a hand around her wrist. Her big blue eyes silently stared at the woman. Emily stood, careful not to let go of the child. She and Zach quietly walked Carly to the door. Derek was waiting outside for them and Carly tensed when she saw him. Emily kept a firm yet gentle grasp on Carly wrist. "You're fine. Derek is a good guy and you'll learn that he has no intention of hurting you. I promise."

Those words kept the child calm enough for them to get her into the SUV and buckled into her booster seat without a single protest.

Then they headed home.

xxx

Carly wouldn't eat anything they offered her that evening.

She spent the whole time sitting in a corner of the living room staring at everything she could spot from that vantage point.

Emily couldn't help think of her as an animal in a cage with her back against the corner to feel safe. After diner Zach set about doing his homework while Derek and Emily did their best to fix up the guest room for Carly. They put clean sheets on but couldn't help that the bed was queen sized and nearly three feet off the ground, which was about as tall as Carly. So they found a step stool and pushed it against the bed for Carly to climb. Getting her to climb it, however, had taken nearly an hour of cajoling.

But when she finally closed her eyes and evened out her breathing into slumber, Emily and Derek felt more triumphant than on any case they'd helped solve over the years.

They stood in the open doorway and watched the sleeping girl, her hair, clothes and body still filthy under the clean sheets.

"Are we doing the right thing?" Emily pondered aloud. "I still can't get her scream out of my head. I knew I had to do something for her. To try and alleviate her pain. I like to think that's a motherly instinct." She shrugged.

Morgan kissed her cheek. "You definitely have a mothering instinct," he assured her. "And don't most kids come in to your life screaming? What do mothers do in response? They cuddle and nurse and promise their little screaming bundle of joy that everything will be okay."

She smiled. "I suppose they do," Emily pulled away from him and ventured fully into Carly's room. She didn't have a clue what their next move would be, but she leaned over the sleeping child, careful not to touch her, and whispered in her ear. "I promise I'll do my best to make everything okay for you, Carly."

Derek remained in the doorway, silently making the same promise to the dark-haired little girl. When she returned to him, Derek took Emily's hand and drew her away, leading her to their bedroom. "Do you know how much I love you?" Derek asked.

"Probably not as much as I love you," she insisted, giving him a quick kiss on the lips, "But not nearly enough to let you have your way with me tonight, mister. I'm beyond tired."

A knock on their door interrupted.

"Come in," Derek called.

Zach stuck his head in and smiled shyly. "Hi."

"Hi yourself," Emily eyed him. "Shouldn't you be asleep? It's past bedtime."

"You said I could stay up a half hour later if I was reading," the boy reminded her. "And I just started Great Expectations tonight."

"I did say that," she recalled with a nod. "So what's up, buddy?"

"I was worried you were mad at me for what I did today," Zach saw on their faces that they weren't sure what he was talking about. "Saying that Carly should stay with us. I just…" he paused. "I know I've been a pain to you lately, but I do appreciate that you've given me a good home. I want Carly to have something good in her life, too. And the two of you are really good people. She'll be happy here like I am, I know she will." He rushed to Emily and gave her a hug. "You're not mad are you?"

"Not at all," Emily assured the boy. She pushed him away gently. "But I will be if you don't get to bed now," she grinned.

He was off like a shot.

They shed the day's clothes and worries. "Rest up," Derek whispered as she snuggled up next to him beneath the covers. "Tomorrow promises to be another challenge."

"I can take it," Emily replied with confidence.

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	28. Vanished

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

_**Thank you all very much for your comments, they are cherished.**_

* * *

><p><strong>Vanished<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>"Derek!"<p>

He woke from a deep sleep, jolted by the shout of his name.

Emily appeared in their bedroom doorway a second later, her hair slightly ratted, night clothes rather askew on her thin frame. "She's gone. I can't find her. She just vanished or maybe she ran away. I don't know where she'd go, though. But she's gone."

"Who?" Derek rubbed sleep from his eyes.

"Who?" Emily echoed in disbelief. "There's only one other she in this house beside me. Even our dog and cat are both male," her exasperated tone was punctuated by hands perched on hips. "Carly. Carly is missing. You do remember the tiny little girl we brought home last night, the one I've now lost in less than twenty-four hours."

Truthfully, Derek had momentarily forgotten about the newest addition to their family. He blamed sleep, but he certainly wasn't about to tell Emily that. "I'm sure she's around here somewhere," Derek pushed the covers off him and finally jumped into action. "Where have you looked so far?" he asked as Zach came to stand in their open doorway beside Emily. His blond hair was also tussled and his eyes were droopy from sleep.

"What's going on?" Zach asked.

"Carly is missing," Derek said as he placed his hands against Emily's shoulders and turned her toward the hallway. "We just need to keep calm and search for her. She didn't even leave an apartment with a dead body in it so I'm guessing she hasn't gone far."

"I checked her room, closet too," Emily let him know as they made a move toward the former guest bedroom.

Derek's eyes narrowed. "That's it?" he was surprised she was freaking out so much when she'd barely checked the house yet. Clooney staggered out of Zach's room as the three of them passed by. Sergio zoomed down the hall, having emerged from parts unknown. The cat hung close to Emily's side as they all trooped down the hall then he zipped off down the stairs. "How about the bathroom?" Morgan inquired. "You check there?"

Emily gave a shrug and a partial head shake. "She hasn't eaten anything in… I don't even know how long. I doubt she'd be in the bathroom."

The bathroom was empty when they checked, and sensing he needed to tread lightly around the woman he loved, Derek made a plan of attack. "Emily, you check downstairs, Zach you stay up here and search. I'll go outside and scan the yard," he concluded as they all separated. He checked the front door and found it locked. The back door was in the same state but he ventured outside anyhow. Carly was nowhere to be found in the yard or the garage and the fence was nearly six feet tall. Even the gate lock was far too high for her to reach.

Back inside he found Emily in their lavender laundry room. She closed the dryer door and faced him. "She's not here," Emily reported with the tiniest bit of composure.

Derek was almost certain he'd never seen her so rattled, except maybe for the case involving an old friend of hers several years ago. "The doors were locked from the inside, which makes it unlikely she even left the house," he informed her. "I'm sure she's just…"

"Found her!" Zach shouted from upstairs.

They zoomed up the stairs. "Where are you?" Emily called out.

"In her room," the boy shouted back.

"No, that's no possible," Emily said as she and Derek moved down the hall. "She wasn't there a few minutes ago, I know I would've seen her if she'd been…" she trailed off upon spotting Zach on the floor. He was lying on his belly and pointed one index finger beneath the bed. Emily felt like an idiot for not searching there first.

"You haven't searched for a lot of kids, have you?" Zach asked. "Under the bed is the first place we think of to hide."

Morgan tried not to laugh. "I think Zach has already been living with you too long, Emily. You've turned him in to a smart ass."

"Language," she gently berated him. "Besides, he isn't nearly as smart ass as I can be."

"Language," Derek returned her scolding.

Emily stuck her tongue out at him for a second before she sunk down on to her stomach and flipped up the white bed skirt. Sure enough, there was Carly. The girl lay curled into the fetal position sucking her left thumb. It broke Emily's heart to see her that way. "I'm not even sure the last time I vacuumed under there," she whispered to Derek who had joined her and Zach on their bellies. "It could be filthy under there."

"I doubt she's worried about dust bunnies," Derek replied, wondering about Emily's scattered focus. As he regarded the girl, his thoughts flew back in time several months to a hospital room where he'd witnessed a young boy curled into much the same position beneath a table. "Carly," he spoke in a whisper. "I met a boy named Angel earlier this year. He felt a lot like you do, I imagine, scared and alone. But I let him know he was safe with me. That I only wanted to help him…"

Derek stopped short when the girl tightened her safety bubble, ducking her head from view. "I don't think I'm helping," he sighed.

Emily placed a hand to his forearm. "It's not you," she tried to assure him. "I'm sure it's not personal. I think you just represent all men for her at the moment."

"That's understandable," he said while getting to his feet. "I think I'll let you handle this." Derek motioned for Zach to rise. "You need to shower and get ready for school," he instructed the boy. "And I need to get ready for work," he concluded, flashing Emily an encouraging smile. "I'll check back before we head out."

"Thank you," she returned his smile and then turned her focus back to Carly. "Hey, mouse," Emily addressed the girl. Carly lifted her head a little, aimed her eyes toward Emily. Her thumb left her mouth for a moment. "I know you didn't mean to, but you hurt Derek's feelings. He only wanted to talk to you. But I can see now that's going to take some trust building. That's okay," Emily assured her. "He's a pretty patient guy and I'm patient too. We didn't bring you here on a whim," she let the girl know.

Silence fell between them again and Emily sighed.

"I was really scared earlier when I couldn't find you," Emily revealed. "Not a lot scares me, Carly. Pretty much the only thing that freaks me out is when the people I care about most are hurt or in danger. Maybe that sounds silly to you, if you can understand me. I know I haven't even known you a full twenty-four hours yet but you are special to me Carly. Just like Zach, I believe there's a reason why you and I crossed paths yesterday. I hope you believe that too. I hope you can learn to trust me."

Carly stayed put, blue eyes still focused on Emily and full of curiosity.

Something caught Emily's attention in the quiet room. It wasn't a sound, though, but a smell. The girl was filthy but she hadn't really smelled before.

Emily pulled herself up off the floor and inspected the bed. She didn't have to search for very long to find the source of the smell, which was a wet sheet and mattress. Realization grabbed hold and something else struck her as wrong. The step stool she and Derek had left in the room was missing. Emily searched the room but came up empty. She followed a hunch and found the stool in the bathroom pushed against the sink cabinet. "Zach," she addressed the boy behind the steaming shower door. "Did you move this stool in here?"

"Nope," he shouted back over the sound of the shower. "It was here."

With some of the mystery surmised in her head, Emily returned to Carly's room and sunk down on her belly again. She eyed the girl. "Did you have an accident last night, Carly? Or maybe early this morning?" Emily realized she hadn't asked Mrs. Dayton very much about the girl, but at least the social worker had assured them Carly was potty trained. "I'm guessing you got thirsty in the middle of the night, went to get a drink in the bathroom and then wet the bed. Am I right?"

No answer came from the child.

"You know you don't have to sneak around," Emily kept at it. "If you're hungry or thirsty you can ask for what you want. Or you can at least eat what we offer until you learn to talk, or until you feel safe enough to talk to us." She grimaced as half a dozen different scenarios flooded her thoughts. "Maybe the man you lived with before didn't let you eat much?" she asked. "Maybe he used food as a bribe? Did he make you do favors for him in order to eat?" it made her sick to her stomach to think of such cruelty.

The girl's eyes closed and she thrust her thumb back in to her mouth.

Sergio brushed against Emily's leg and then came to lick her face. "Hey crazy kitty, what are you up to?" she stroked the feline's back, grateful for the interruption.

He gave her a few more seconds of attention and then crept beneath the bed. Emily watched as the cat sniffed his way toward Carly. Sergio circled the girl's tiny body three times before he settled down beside her. He nestled himself where Carly's knees were pressed to her stomach. "Well, isn't that quite an odd picture," she remarked. "The cat and the mouse all cozy together," Emily chuckled. She knew him to be a love as did Garcia, but so far he'd been a pain in the butt to Clooney, Derek and Zach.

"Any progress?" Derek asked from the doorway.

Emily sat up and pressed her back to the wall beside Carly's bed. Her head shook. "She wet the bed. I need to change her sheets and probably buy one of those rubber mattress cover thingies. Do you think they even make them for a queen size bed?"

He moved in to the room and squatted in front of Emily, his hands on her knees. "I have no idea, but I'll go to the store after work tonight and find out," Morgan volunteered. "And we might want to think about getting her a smaller bed eventually."

"Probably," she agreed.

"Are you gonna be okay here today on your own?" Derek leaned in to kiss her forehead. "I could call in. Hotch doesn't even know about our new addition yet."

"You should go; you've already been out of work too long. And we need one of us bringing home a paycheck," Emily responded as the voice of reason. "There are two more mouths to feed these days," she grinned, thankful of his support, which she knew would be with her all day even when he was away at work. "Only thing I'm worried about is Zach. I don't know if I'll be able to pry Carly out from under this bed in time to pick him up from school this afternoon."

"That's okay," the boy stepped in to the room. "My friend Jeff lives a few blocks away, I can ask his mom for a ride home. Jeff said I could ask anytime."

Derek and Emily shared a somewhat surprised look, neither of them hearing about a new friend before. They remained silently pleased for the boy, but cautious as any good parent would be. "Why don't you have Jeff's mom call me today and I'll make sure it's okay with her. Otherwise we'll work out another plan."

Zach nodded. "If we get to school early enough Derek could talk to her."

Morgan gave Emily one more quick kiss and jumped to his feet. "I think that means we need to roll, youngster," he gently slapped Zach's shoulder and they headed out the door.

She called after them, "Derek, make sure he eats something for breakfast, a granola bar or a piece of fruit…" Emily did her best to sound maternal and somewhat healthy. She heard two soft garbled replies that she pretended were affirmation. When the front door opened and closed only a few minutes later she guessed they were planning to get some sort of fried egg sandwich from a drive-thru. She did her best not to worry about it.

There was a girl under the bed at the moment that needed her attention more.

"Speaking of breakfast…" Emily lowered her head again to spy on Carly. Sergio was still there and both seemed to be sleeping. "Guess that'll be breakfast for one," she whispered.

xxx

Emily swallowed a bite of her peach yogurt as she sat in Carly's room again.

There was a tray placed beside the bed within the girl's line of sight. Emily had put a small bowl of cheerios on it, a cut up banana and a tiny glass of apple juice. There was also another slightly larger glass filled with water. Earlier she'd pondering making some toast as another breakfast option for the girl. It was hard to know what Carly might like. In the end Emily had figured fewer choices were better. If Carly was hungry enough, and Emily imagined she was, then she would eventually gravitate toward what was offered.

"I didn't put any milk on the cereal," Emily carried on a one-sided conversation, as she'd been doing most of the morning. "I didn't want them to get soggy waiting for you to eat them. Lots of kids like them dry, but if you'd like some milk you can ask me," she tapped a foot against the carpeted floor. "Or you could give me some kind of sign, maybe touch the end of your nose if you'd like milk on your cereal." Emily sighed. "That is if you can understand anything I'm saying."

Sergio crawled out from under the bed and stretched his body into a deep v shape. Then he yawned and sniffed at the tray of food.

"Get away, you," Emily shooed. "You've got food downstairs," she admonished. "You know what, Serge…" Emily stood. "Why don't we both go downstairs and let Carly have some alone time." She used one foot to gently push the cat in the direction of the door. "I'll be back in a little bit to check on you, Carly."

With that she exited the room and descended the stairs with Sergio at her heels.

A half hour later she had the kitchen clean and was putting a load of laundry in the wash. She was just about to head upstairs to retrieve Carly's wet sheets when her cell phone sprang to life. "Hello," she answered warmly, surprised but pleased to see it was Derek on the other line.

"I just wanted to find out how you and Carly were doing?"

She smiled. "Good so far, but not much to report. I left some food for her, now I'm just hoping she'll eat some of it."

"Maybe you shouldn't stay in the room with her all day. I'm sure she needs some space to deal with all this change."

"Way ahead of you there, pal," Emily chuckled. "I'm doing laundry."

"How domestic of you. You really do like that lavender room of yours, don't you?"

"Yep, love it," she agreed. Mostly she loved it because she could never think of the room without associating him with it. "So did you speak to Jeff's mother? Or do I need to arrange for Zach to take the bus or something?"

"I did speak to Jeff's mother. Funny thing, though, she also goes by the name Lily Davenport. And she seems perfectly trustworthy and is willing to give Zach a ride home today. So no worries on that front. Just stick there with Carly. Do you want me to bring something home for dinner?"

Emily sorted through a pile of dark clothes with a grin on her face. "You're a good guy, Derek Morgan."

"I know… so how about that dinner offer?"

Laugher spilled forth as she shook her head, even though he couldn't see her. "Nah, I'll make something. I can handle that much. Now get to work slacker," she teased.

"Love you."

"Love you, too," she ended the call.

Derek's support spurned her toward the stairs to check on Carly. Emily walked down the hall slowly and quietly hoping to maybe secretly catch Carly sneaking a bit of food. What she found was the tray missing most of the banana and the water glass drained. Not bad, she thought while kneeling to take a peek at the girl. Emily's heart seized when she discovered the underside of the bed to be completely lacking of four year old girl.

"Carly?" she jumped up and rushed out of the room.

Thankfully the flushing toilet gave her a clue of where to look, not to mention a somewhat calmer heartbeat.

Emily stuck her head through the open bathroom door. Carly was standing there in her too-big clothes, wide blue eyes like a deer caught in headlights. "Sorry," Emily took a step backwards into the hall. "I didn't mean to interrupt. I was just worried that you'd disappeared again. That's what grown-ups do when kids disappear. They worry. Well, the good parents do. Not that I'm your parent or…" she trailed off when Carly ran past her and ducked into her bedroom again.

A sigh escaped Emily's lips as she spotted the girl slither under the bed. "At least you ate something, mouse," she was happy to dwell on that small improvement. "It's a start."

xxx

At six thirty, Emily met Derek at the door feeling very unlike Donna Reed.

She wrapped her arms around his neck even though his hands were laden with shopping bags. "You okay?" he whispered in her ear, dropping the bags, thankful there was nothing breakable in them. "Is Carly all right?" Derek wasn't used to her being clingy.

"Carly's good," Emily pulled away, but just an inch. "She came out from under the bed once to use the bathroom. She ate most of a banana and half a bowl of dry cheerios. And apparently she prefers good old water to apple juice. I guess Zach is the juice drinker in this group. Speaking of Zach, he got home fine and Lily agreed to bring him home for the next few weeks until I can get Carly on some kind of schedule, hopefully. Zach's doing his homework in Carly's room, on his belly. He seems pretty concerned about her and…"

"Slow down for a second," Derek encouraged, still trying to process most of what she'd conveyed. "You're gonna run out of steam. Come on," he waved a hand toward the living room sofa. "Sit, and I will show you what I found for Carly." He grabbed the bags and followed her to the sofa where she curled up on one end.

"I thought you were just buying a plastic mattress cover," Emily said as she spotted the three large bags.

"Left work a little early to pick up a few things," he sat at the opposite end of the sofa and smiled when her feet landed on his lap. "I found a queen size wee-wee guard cover. Pretty sure they make them so parents can have their kids sleep in the same bed with them, or maybe for old folks," Derek shrugged. "I also bought the best booster car seat money can buy so we can get Mrs. Dayton's back to her," he noted. "And then I bought some new clothes for Carly."

Emily's brows arched. "You did?"

"Yep, I had to get a couple different sizes because I wasn't sure what would fit her," he laid out several pairs of leggings. There was a pink pair, purple, blue, even a rainbow striped pair. "I figure we can return the stuff that doesn't fit." He proceeded to show her t-shirts with cats, unicorns and butterflies on them. A pair of lime green shorts, several sizes of underwear with Disney princesses on them and a few pairs of pink sandals. "And this thing is called a skort, I think," he tossed the teal colored garment at Emily and shrugged.

The skort made Emily wonder if Carly would ever be brave enough to wear a skirt. For some reason she couldn't picture Carly in something so girly. After examining each item she felt he'd guessed the sizes pretty close. Emily moved to sit beside him, resting her head on his shoulder. "You are the best dad a little girl could hope for."

"Not really her dad," Derek pointed out.

"You cared enough to buy her new clothes that fit, and a safe car seat," Emily replied. "That's good daddy material in my eyes. I just wish I'd been there to see it. I bet you were adorable debating between butterflies or unicorns and deciding to get both," she chuckled.

He kissed her cheek in a placating manner. "The real sight to see will be Carly taking a bath so she's clean enough to wear the new clothes."

"You speak the truth," she nodded, somewhat dreading that day but knowing it needed to come sooner rather than later.

"And what about you my beautiful domestic goddess?" Derek cooed in a playful manner. "Did you make a special dinner for your favorite bread winner?"

She nodded. "Of course I did. And it'll be delivered in about ten minutes," Emily chuckled, "Pizza and breadsticks… food of champions."

"Hmm…" Derek smiled as he kissed her again. "As much as I know you probably slaved over making that pizza order – about as much as I slaved over Zach's fast-food egg biscuit this morning - we might need to think about introducing some proper nutrition into these kids' diets," he gently suggested.

"Hey, I'm the one who told you to make him eat some fruit before you left this morning," she protested. "And I got Carly to eat a banana today. That's healthy," Emily remarked with a swell of pride. "Okay, so I wasn't even in the room when she ate it, and I suppose it is possible Sergio might have been the one to eat it. He was rather cozy with her today. But I still say I moved a mountain where Carly is concerned."

Morgan wrapped his arms around her. "Maybe a small hill," he teased.

Emily grabbed a pillow and wacked him over the head with it. "It was at least a large-ish hill," she protested, straddling his hips and pinning him further with one arm on either side of his torso, hands grasping the sofa. "You will not be released until you say it was a large hill," Emily demanded.

"You're right," he replied. "Getting Carly to eat a banana was more than a small hill being moved. A medium sized hill most likely."

"Think you're funny, do you?" Emily leaned in closer. "I have methods of torture to make you admit I'm right," she whispered, more seductively than upset.

Derek happily kissed her neck, working his way toward her lips. "We haven't had much time to be alone lately, with me recovering and Zach coming to live with us. And now Carly," he suckled her bottom lip. "I'm surprised you're not complaining about being tired or…"

The doorbell rang, interrupting what probably would've been interrupted by Zach eventually.

She rolled off Derek with a frustrated sigh. "You had to jinx it, didn't you," Emily smiled to let him know she wasn't mad. The doorbell rang a second time. "Dinner is served."

He kissed her again and held her hand as they moved toward the door. "You think there's any chance of us picking that up again later?"

"We'll see," she quipped as he opened the door.

xxx

Emily flopped down on the bed thinking she didn't have enough energy to even brush her teeth. Zach had needed help with his math homework after dinner. She and Derek had remade Carly's bed. And then Carly had refused to get in to the bed. She'd finally fallen asleep beneath the bed and Emily had transferred her topside. Sergio had insisted on sleeping on Carly's bed. After the kids were finally sound asleep the two of them had cleaned the kitchen, folded a load of laundry and made a plan for a healthy breakfast.

Now she enjoyed the feel of his deft hands as they caressed her thigh. "You know I love you, right?" Emily asked sleepily.

Derek nodded. "Yep," his attention was more focused on her body than her words.

"And there is honestly nothing I would like more tonight than to make love to you," she kissed along his jawline thinking maybe she could muster the energy.

"Oh yeah?" he wore a happy grin of anticipation.

"But I think I'd probably just fall asleep on you," Emily confessed as she laid back and gave up the act.

He gave her a sympathetic smile, kissing her on the lips. "I can't say I'm not disappointed, but it's okay," Derek insisted. "I know how tiring it can be to move mountains," he finally allowed her the satisfaction of that victory.

"You're the best," she closed her eyes, head on his shoulder.

"I try," he kissed her forehead.

"You succeed," Emily assured him before sleep took hold.

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	29. Encourage

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

* * *

><p><strong>Encourage<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>Emily carefully extracted herself from Derek's side and climbed out of bed.<p>

She tossed a robe around herself and quietly snuck out of their bedroom and down the hall. First she peeked in on Zach and found him asleep, one leg dangling off the bed. It looked rather uncomfortable but she didn't want to risk waking him by moving him. Emily crept further down the hall to spy on Carly. She found the girl curled under hers covers, Sergio in a ball beside her. "Good," she whispered to herself while sneaking back to her room.

"Wake up, sleepyhead," Emily whispered as she slowly pulled the sheet off Derek. She knelt beside the bed where he was laying and ran a hand down the length of his body. "Guess what," her words were a soft whisper against his ear. "It's morning and I'm not tired," she let him know.

It was very early on a Friday morning and it had been three days since Carly had come to live with them. The girl still spent most of her daylight hours hiding under her bed. But she was eating a little more. That steady improvement was all Emily could hope for. "Come on, Derek," she softly continued her encouragement, in words and action.

A smile spread across his face, eyes still closed. "Okay, okay," he moaned in appreciation of her skilled hands. "I'm up."

"Only about halfway as far as I can tell," she purred against his lips before kissing them longingly. "The kids are still asleep and I have an idea."

Derek propped himself on his elbows and grinned at her. "What kind of idea?"

"You have to follow me to find out," Emily stood and moved toward the door. "If you think you're brave enough?" she challenged.

He let out an appreciative sigh and got to his feet. Their hands clasped as he met her at the door. Sunlight was starting to peek through the curtains in their bedroom but the hallway was still rather dark as they moved toward the stairs. Morgan wore a happy grin as he traipsed after Emily like a teenaged boy in love for the first time. Then he tripped and kicked something, which caused a noisy ruckus. "Damn," he swore, hopping on one foot for a second.

"You're not very good at sneaking around," Emily commented.

"And you're not very sympathetic," he replied with a soft chuckle. "I tripped over something by Carly's door, but I can't see what it is… or was…" Derek tried to focus in the dark.

"Probably the glass of water I left for her last night," she said, grasping his hand and drawing him back toward the stairs.

"Do I want to know why you left her glass of water by the door?" Morgan asked.

She was two steps ahead of him with her hand still insistently pulling him along. "I realized that if I keep catering to Carly she'll never come out of that room for more than visiting the bathroom. So my plan is to slowly change the location where I leave her food. First it was right by her bed and now it's outside her door. I hoping I'll be able to get her to eat with us at the dinner table within a week or so," Emily explained as they arrived at the main floor.

"Pretty smart," he had to admit while she dragged him around the corner. "But maybe you could get her to take a bath before she eats with us," Derek suggested.

"I'm working on it," Emily assured him, tugging him into a small room. She closed the door and grinned. "What do you think?"

He didn't even need the lights on to know where they were. "I think it's the laundry room."

"Exactly," she gave no further explanation before mauling him.

Derek responded to her enthusiastic kisses with equal passion. He pressed her against the washer as his hands untied the silky ribbon holding her robe closed. "Not that I don't find this very hot, but why exactly are we doing this in the laundry room?" he asked between kisses.

"So the kids don't hear," Emily panted as he lifted her and sat her atop the washer. "The walls upstairs are…" her breath hitched as his hands roamed. "Um, very… thin…"

No more words were shared between them, aside from a few very short gasped ones in the heat of the moment.

Just fifteen minutes later their private laundry room oasis was interrupted by a knock outside the door. "Derek?" Zach called. "Emily? Are you guys in there?" he persisted. "Carly's under her bed and it kind of stinks in there more than usual. I think she wet herself again."

Emily wore a determined look as she eyed Derek. "And so it begins again."

xxx

A half hour later, Derek and Zach were gone, which left Emily trying to lure a stinkier than usual Carly out from under the bed. "Okay, little mouse; you really need to take a bath. I've been patient so far and I really don't want to lose my temper with you but you need to learn some basics about hygiene."

The girl didn't budge.

"Think about all those pretty clothes Derek bought for you," she tried another tactic. "Remember I showed you yesterday the cute shirt with the unicorns on it. I think it would be adorable on you. And I could comb your hair out, remove all the tangles. You could have some pig tails if you wanted." Emily didn't know if the girl understood anything she was saying.

After nearly an hour of cajoling she gave up. She placed a tray of fruit, toast and water outside Carly's door, but the child didn't eat any of it all day.

Zach got home at three and ate a quick snack before he shot upstairs.

Emily was about out of ideas when she finally walked back upstairs to check on the kids that afternoon. She found Zach sprawled on his stomach in front of Carly's bed. He had the bed skirt tucked up under the mattress so he could see her. Emily could hear him reading. She stayed out of sight, feeling slightly guilty for spying on them. But she listened as the boy read a very short passage from Dickens' Great Expectations.

"I looked at the stars, and considered how awful it would be for a man to turn his face up to them as he froze to death, and see no help or pity in all the glittering multitude."

Zach sighed as he closed the book and faced Carly. "Sometimes I wonder if my dad died like that," he confessed to the girl. "He did lots of bad stuff and maybe he didn't think there was any help for him, no way to make up for what he'd done." The boy shrugged. "But I know I can be a better person than he was, and you can be better than your step-dad, Carly. You have to behave, though. You need to be good, to take a bath and start talking. You don't want Derek and Emily to kick you out, do you?"

"Zachary," Emily interrupted, entering the room and making her presence known to the kids. "Do not tell her that," she gently scolded the boy. "Come here," with a wave of her hand she motioned the boy to follow her out of Carly's room. Emily led him down the hall to her and Derek's large bedroom.

The boy swallowed nervously as he stood facing Emily. "Would you have kicked me out if I kept getting in trouble at school?"

She placed a hand against his shoulder. "No, buddy. I would've been upset, but I would've found a way to help you. And that's what we need to do for Carly. We need to encourage her to trust us, not command her, and certainly not threaten her. Do you have any idea what her step-father did to her, how he probably threatened her?"

"I'm sorry," Zach's voice was barely a whisper. "When I got in trouble at school and you punished me, I… I thought if I didn't behave better you'd kick me out. And I don't want you to kick Carly out because I know she needs you. She probably needs you more than I do."

"That's not what parents do," Emily stroked a hand over the boy's shiny blond hair. "They don't kick kids out when things get tough."

"Good parents don't," Zach amended as his thoughts drifted elsewhere. "Remember that kid I got into a fight with?"

"Bobby Feltcher," she nodded.

"He's in trouble," Zach hesitated before he said anything else. "He told me something real important but he made me swear not to tell anyone."

"It sounds serious," Emily was instantly concerned. "Is he in trouble at school? Are you? Have you been fighting again?" she did her best to remain calm, not wanting to freak him out in any way, not after the conversation they'd just had.

Zach's head shook. "It's not about fighting," he assured her. "He confided in me because he knew I'd understand," Zach's words remained a bit cryptic. "He told me he only picked on me because he was going through the same thing at home, kinda. His dad hurts him and his mom. At least my dad never hit me," the boy said. "Bobby's dad… he tells Bobby he's stupid and he says if he keeps getting bad grades he'll kick him out of the house. Then he beats on him, but only places that don't show at school."

Emily felt sick with worry. "If Bobby is in danger we need to do something. Call the police or social services. They can help Bobby's family."

"I don't know," Zach lamented. "I made a promise. But…"

"But what?" she asked. "What's your gut telling you?"

"That we should tell someone. We should help Bobby and his mom," Zach gulped down tears. "I didn't tell and my mom died. I don't ever want anyone else to know what that's like as long as I have the power to help them." He looked her in the eye and knew what had to be done. "We should help them."

She nodded. "Okay."

"What will you do?" Zach asked.

"I'm not sure yet, buddy."

Emily was saved from making any decision right away by her ringing cell phone. She snatched it off the nearby nightstand and saw that it was Derek. "Please tell me you're on your way home," she answered.

"What's wrong?"

"There's something I want to talk to you about…"

"Em, I'm sorry but I really can't talk long. Hotch signed me back to full duty this morning and we're headed to the airstrip right now."

She suppressed a sigh. "Where are you going?"

"We've got a series of home invasions in Northern California. Not sure how long I'll be gone."

The desire to tell him about Zach's friend slipped away. "Promise you'll be careful," she couldn't help think about his recent gunshot wound and how lucky he was to be alive.

"I promise. Love you."

"Love you, too."

Emily tossed the phone on her bed and sat down. "I could sit here and lament Derek not coming home," she contemplated. "Or I could do something productive, such as…" She got up and went to the bathroom where she began to run warm water into the tub. It crossed her mind that she could lounge in the tub for a half hour and try to relax, but she had another plan in mind – one that might prove difficult.

When the tub was half full Emily turned the water off and put her plan in motion. It was simple in theory, but the execution would likely prove to be tricky.

She entered Carly's room, went down on one knee and eyed the little girl. "Okay, mouse, we need to get you clean," Emily stated in a firm but caring tone. "I don't want to force you, but it's time you learn that sometimes adults know what's best for little kids. I know that probably hasn't been your experience thus far in life, but I assure you I will never hurt you. You're safe here. And I will keep telling you that until you believe it."

Carly wore a quizzical gaze as she stared silently at Emily.

"Come on, let's go," Emily commanded in a gentle tone. "You're going to take a bath. I know you've had at least one in your lifetime otherwise you'd be much more filthy than you are now. I'm guessing those baths were traumatic but this is where you have to remember what I just told you, I will never hurt you and you're safe here." With no further words Emily reached for the girl's hand and grasped it gently.

Wide blue eyes stared back at her.

"You held my hand a few days ago," Emily hoped to jog the girl's memory. "You felt safe with me that day in the stairwell. You clung to me because you trusted me. Maybe it was only due to proximity and the fact that I was the only female there at the time, but for a short time you felt safe. You're still safe, so let's go," she gently tugged at the girl's arm.

Amazingly enough, Carly went with her. She held Emily's hand down the hall, in to the bedroom and further into the master bathroom.

Emily let go of the girl and sat down on the edge of the tub. "I won't close the door," she let Carly know. "You can run out of here if you want. But I'd rather you stay and get in the water. I have some vanilla soap you can use and I'd like to wash your hair, get out all those tangles." She took the child's hand again. Emily ran Carly's palm against her hair. "Feel that. Yours can be soft just like mine. Wouldn't that be nice?"

The girl seemed to take it all in but she still made no move to get in to the tub.

After nearly ten silent minutes, Emily sighed. "Is it the clothes thing?" she asked. "Do you not want to take them off?"

Carly's blue eyes softened a little and her gaze fell to the floor. Emily knew for a fact that the girl's step-father had abused her in some way, possibly even in the tub. Her hands balled in to tight fists at the thought. "I know the bad man hurt you, Carly. I'm guessing he hurt you when you took your clothes off, and I am so sorry he did those things to you. But as long as you stay silent like this, and afraid, he will keep hurting you."

She still didn't seem willing to budge.

"Okay…" Emily quickly formed a new plan. "How about you get in to the bath with your clothes on?" she offered. Carly looked up at her upon hearing those words and Emily had the first glimmer that the child could understand her. "You won't get quite as clean with your clothes on, but if it makes you feel safer… it's up to you."

They stayed in the same position for a long time until finally Carly made the first move.

With her breath held, Emily watched as the girl lifted her leg and moved it over the side of the tub. She thought it was akin to what a parent might feel when they watched a baby take its very first steps. She stayed quiet, not wanting anything to spook the girl. Carly held on to the tub and swung her other leg over, she sat down in the water with her shorts and t-shirt still on. Emily grabbed a wash cloth and went from there.

"You just dunk this in the water and rub it over your skin to wash," she instructed the girl, pantomiming the actions on herself before handing over the cloth.

The girl slowly washed her arms and her face as Emily sat silently and watched with barely restrained glee. "We really need to do something about your hair, mouse." She got up and went to the door, careful to keep one eye on Carly at all times. "Zach?" she tried to keep her voice low as she called for the boy. Thankfully he heard her and came running. "I need you to get the plastic juice pitcher downstairs in the kitchen, you know where?"

"In the bottom cabinet by the sink," he nodded and darted off. A few minutes later he arrived with the pitcher and spotted Carly in the bath. "She has all her cloth…"

"I know," Emily stopped him and pushed him out of the doorway so Carly couldn't see him and get spooked. "It's all part of the plan," she whispered. "Can you do me one more favor and pull out a frozen pizza for dinner?"

"Again?" he scrunched his nose. "Can we have freezer waffles instead?"

"Sure," she agreed, pretty much certain she was the worst parent alive when it came to nutritional meals. Emily wasn't very focused on food at the moment as she began the arduous task of explaining the hair washing process to Carly. The girl was reluctant at first, but she allowed Emily to wash her hair with a minimum of squirming and no screaming. When they were done Emily pulled the drain plug and told Carly she could get out of the tub.

Carly stood there, her clothes still rather dirty and dripping. They hung off her more than usual. The girl shivered.

Emily wrapped a towel around her but frowned. "Wearing wet clothes isn't much fun is it?" she watched for some reaction from the girl. Carly's lips pressed together tightly and then her head shook the tiniest bit. Emily wasn't even sure if it had been a true reaction to her words or not, but she rolled with it. "You know, if you want to take those wet clothes off I'll go grab you some clean underwear and maybe a t-shirt of mine that you can wear as a nightgown," she suggested, recalling that Derek hadn't gotten any pajamas for the girl.

Her tiny shoulders shrugged.

It was more than Emily had been hoping for, more confirmation that the girl did understand her. "Why don't I leave you here for a minute to think about it? I'll just go grab your things and you can take your clothes off in private, if you want to." She didn't wait for a response before leaving the girl alone in the bathroom. Returning five minutes later she found Carly huddled in her fluffy green towel and a pile of wet clothes on the floor.

She did her best not to make a big deal out of it. "Do you want me to help you put the dry clothes on, or do you want to do it?"

The girl stared at her for a long time before she let the towel down and actually pointed at Emily in indication of wanting help. Emily squatted down so Carly could use her shoulders for support as she stepped in to the clean underwear. The sky blue t-shirt Emily had found for Carly to wear was slipped over the girls head and hit her ankles, fitting perfectly like a nightgown. "Now comes the tricky part," Emily said as she guided Carly into her and Derek's bedroom. "We need to tackle your hair."

Carly darted out the door and down the hall before Emily could even try to stop her.

Emily shook her head, not sure if she should enforce the hair thing or not. They'd been doing so well and she didn't want to stop. But she also didn't want to push Carly any further than she was willing. She grabbed a thick-toothed comb and went after the girl. Carly was, surprisingly, seated on top of her bed. Sergio was there, curled up beside her. Emily sat down with them and demonstrated how to comb hair by using her own for the demo.

"Do you want to comb your own hair or do you want me to help?" she gave the girl options like before.

When Carly pointed to Sergio, Emily couldn't help laughing. It was the first bit of personality that she'd ever seen emerge from the girl. "You want Sergio to comb your hair? Are you a comedian, mouse?" she asked while gently beginning to comb out a small patch of the girl's dark hair.

The child tugged her head away and glared at Emily, her playful nature gone before it had barely begun. "Come on, Carly," Emily encouraged. "Just a little bit of combing and we'll be done. And then you can go curl up under the bed if want. Or eat waffles with Zach and me."

Carly finally allowed her hair to be combed, but she winced several times and pulled away again. Her left hand disappeared beneath one of the pillows on her bed and she pulled something out from under it. Carly held the item for Emily to see. "What have you got there?" it took Emily a second to realize it was a photograph, a 4x6 snap shot of her and Derek sitting under a tree at the park on Easter. Reid had taken pictures of the team that day and distributed copies to all of them.

"Where did you find that?" Emily asked, curious about where the girl had been exploring when she wasn't paying attention.

One thin finger pointed to Derek as she looked to Emily with quizzical eyes.

"That's Derek," Emily nodded.

The girl kept her finger on the picture but her eyes darted around the room. They returned their focus to Emily a moment later and tapped at the picture.

Emily smiled. "He's not here right now. Is that what you're asking? He won't be home tonight, and maybe not tomorrow either. He has to work. He's on a plane right now."

Carly stuffed the photo back under her pillow.

Not sure what to make of the girl's sudden interest in Derek and life in general, Emily tried not to analyze it too much. She was just thankful for the giant leaps they'd made.

xxx

Zach was scarfing down his second helping of waffles and Carly was up in her room with a plate of food resting outside her door. Emily's giant leap of getting the girl clean had ended there. Carly hadn't been interested in following Zach and Emily downstairs to eat. Instead, she'd returned to the safety beneath her bed along with her new best friend, Sergio. Emily didn't mind so much since she'd cleaned under the bed the day before last.

"When will Derek be home?" Zach asked.

"Not sure," Emily shrugged. "At least a few days."

"Oh…" the boy ate another bite. "Do you think he'll show me some new Judo moves when he gets home? The kids at school think it's pretty cool when I show them what he's been teaching me." He shoveled in some more food. "And I like spending time with him," Zach admitted.

She smiled. "I'm sure he'll make time for you when he gets back," Emily replied. She was about to rinse her dinner plate when her cell phone rang.

"Miss me yet?"

Emily smiled to hear Derek's voice. "Not at all," she lied in a teasing manner. "Where are you? I thought you were working a case?"

"I am. We landed a few minutes ago. I'm headed out on my own to talk to a victim at the hospital. Had a few minutes transit time and wanted to check in on you guys." As quickly as she could Emily recounted her interactions with Carly and getting her to take a bath. "Wow, you moved a whole mountain range this time. Nice way to trick her."

A new grin graced her lips. "It wasn't a trick so much as a gamble," Emily replied. "She could just as easily be sloshing all over the house right now_."_

"You mean under her bed."

"Yeah," she sighed.

"You okay? Something else going on you're not telling me about?"

Again she considered telling him about Zach's friend, but she knew he needed to focus on work and not worry about what was going on at home. "Nope," she deliberately lied to him this time. "I just miss you. And so do Zach and Carly," she let him know.

"Miss you, too. Though I doubt the kids notice I'm gone."

"They do," Emily said, not taking the time to go into details about Zach wanting to learn more Judo or Carly having a picture of him stashed away. "More than you know."

"I gotta go, Em. See you soon."

"See you soon," she echoed.

The call ended and Emily dialed Garcia. She didn't waste the tech's time, simply asking for a local police contact to help her with Bobby Feltcher's situation.

A quick call to the police was made in private.

After the kitchen was clean, Emily sent Zach off to bed to read and then tackled the task of getting Carly tucked in for the night. Helping with homework, doing dishes and laundry. Giving baths and combing hair. Nurturing profoundly abused and traumatized children, trying to encourage them to see that life was not all gloom and doom. It wasn't like any job she'd ever had before. And it was by far the most tiring, but also the most rewarding.

She fell asleep alone, still missing Derek, but ready to do it all again the next morning.

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	30. Gone

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

* * *

><p><strong>Gone<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p><em><strong>Where are you?<strong>_

Emily reclined in her chair and chuckled at Derek's text message. Where most would've used an R and U, he was still spelling the words out. Of the two of them she would've expected herself to be the bigger stickler for grammar. But recalling what he'd said about using proper grammar always made her think about what a good guy he truly was. And she'd never want to change that. She sent a quick reply, glad to have the distraction of his company. _**At my office**_.

_**Isn't it late there? It's lunchtime here, so…**_

She answered before he could make the time zone calculation. _**8PM**_

_**I knew that… just figured you'd be home by now. What are you working on?**_

_**A case**_. Emily texted the generic answer with a sigh on her lips that she was thankful he couldn't hear. She debated telling him the truth since the matter was of a sensitive nature. But she guessed it would come out sooner or later, and she trusted him enough to not say anything. _**Remember your human trafficking case in San Fran? We have new Intel here that leads us to believe Anton Vanko was not the guy we've been after.**_

_**Crap.**_

Her head nodded. _**Crap, indeed**_. She sent the text but immediately decided to change the subject. _**Can we Skype? Do you have time left on your lunch break?**_ Emily knew it was rare for him to take lunch breaks. She knew he only did it these days in order to text or talk to her. They had precious little time to contact one another with their busy work schedules and the annoying time difference between DC and London. But he was always faithful about making time.

Just a few seconds later she saw his Skype screen name pop up. Another second after that he was 'calling' her.

"Hello," she greeted. Her whole body relaxed considerably to see his smiling visage.

"Hello, Jo," Derek winked.

Emily wanted desperately to keep their conversation light, even though his proposal was weighing her down at the moment. It had been a month since he'd asked her. And he never brought it up, not once since she'd been back in London. But every time she saw his face she could see the desire lurking behind his eyes. Unfortunately she hadn't come any closer to an answer than four weeks ago. "How's work?" she did her best to cover her true thoughts.

"Fine," he paused, his grin faded. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Emily shook her head.

His brows bunched. "Nice try, but I know you better than that, Em. What's bugging you?"

She resisted the urge to stroke the screen, wanting to touch him. Emily knew it wouldn't be the same. "Just this case, I guess," it was only half a lie. The case _was_ causing a lot of her foul mood at the moment. "Every big break we seem to get turns into a small break with a bigger puzzle tied to it. First there was the Russian end, then the US and now we're pretty sure they're using the U.K. again as their home base," she shrugged.

"They've obviously been trafficking weapons and drugs for a very long time," Emily sighed. "And the fact that they came so close to getting those girls out of the US…"

"Scary," he nodded, though it was a bit of an understatement. "You'll keep at them," Derek wore an encouraging smile. "You don't know how to back down from a fight. Which is a good thing," Morgan said. "Most of the time," he added.

That caused her to chuckle softly. "I don't want to fight with you," her good mood slipped a little.

"We're not fighting," Derek was somewhat confused.

"So you're not mad at me about turning down your proposal?" Emily asked.

He smiled. "You didn't, remember? You said it wasn't a yes or a no. And I know it was too much too soon for you. I thought we had this all settled."

Emily sighed in relief. "I guess we did. I think all this case stress is just muddling my mind. I want these guys so bad, and I fear that we're never going to get to the bottom of their operation. Or maybe I should say the top. Someone other than Vanko is obviously calling the shots."

"Hey, why don't you go home," Derek suggested. "Even from a web cam I can tell how tired you are. Get some sleep. Things always look better in the morning."

"Things would look a lot better in the morning if you were lying next to me," her voice was softer as she smiled for him.

Derek's brows rose. "Not my fault you took a job across the ocean."

"You've made the flight; it's not that far away."

"That stupid island might as well be a whole galaxy away," he grumbled.

She chuckled. "Being a bit dramatic now, aren't you?"

Morgan still wore a frown. "Not at all," his voice yielded. "Even being a few inches away from you is torture," he insisted.

Emily knew he was laying it on thick as a joke, but it still made her stomach tight and achy. As much as she believed she was doing the right thing by staying in London, and working for Interpol, it still made her sick to be away from him for such long periods of time. She was tossed from that train of thought by a rumble of wheels outside her door. "Geez, the cleaning staff is here," she remarked. "It really is time for me to go home."

"I love you, Jo," Derek blew her a kiss.

"You are one love-sick puppy, aren't you?" she teased, secretly wooed by his romantic silliness. Emily broke down and blew him a kiss as well. "Love you, too."

"Always," he added. "Even across the galaxy," Derek made a wide sweeping arc with his arm.

Her laughter filled the distance between them. "Goodbye you big goof," she finally signed off. The screen went blank and caused her heart to ache again.

Emily sighed and stuffed the phone into her bag. She gathered a few other items, mostly case files that she planned to look at over breakfast. Outside her office she could still hear the quiet rumble of the cleaning cart and a whisper of a voice. She'd heard the cleaning crew break out in song before, it wasn't an uncommon occurrence. Though they usually felt foolish when they realized someone was still around to overhear them.

She slung her bag over one shoulder and exited her office.

The open area was empty as far as she could tell. Most of the lights were off, save a few along the main corridor. Emily passed the conference room and heard voices inside. She poked her head in and spotted three of her fellow Interpol agents. "Late night, Gus?" she asked.

A dark-haired man looked up. He was flanked by a woman and a man who she didn't know well, only in name. "Emily… didn't know you were still here," the man's deep Scottish brogue filled the room. "Nancy, Mark and I are still going over the Caswell case details. Probably won't stay much longer. You headed out then, lass?"

"Yep," she nodded. "See you tomorrow."

There was something comforting about knowing others were bigger workaholics than she was. She made a mental note to tell Derek that the next time they spoke or texted, which she hoped would be in the morning. He often stayed up late so he could say good morning to her, and she goodnight to him. The elevator doors loomed open for her and she thought about how in a half hour she'd be reclined on her sofa, Sergio in her lap and a glass of red wine pressed to her lips.

"Not as nice as Derek's lips against mine would be," she muttered as she tapped the down arrow.

The doors were nearly closed when a hand stuck through them.

Every second after that was awash in confusion as Emily found herself fighting off two, maybe three guys dressed in jeans, t-shirts and dark caps. She tried to remember details of their faces, but mostly she could only focus on fighting for her life. That fight was diminished greatly as she felt a sharp prick against her left shoulder. Her head instantly turned fuzzy, vision blurry, her legs wobbled and she lost her balance. Strong arms lifted her.

She tried to shout, tried to kick, but her body wouldn't respond to the commands.

xxx

"What's going on here?"

Derek walked toward JJ's desk in the bullpen. It was the space that had formerly belonged to Emily, which caused a pang of nostalgia to pound in his chest. He normally wasn't one to walk down memory lane, but he did miss seeing her sitting there every day. He missing knowing he could enter the bull pen in a foul mood and find her there, either with a smile or a sharp tongue. Both did wonders to set his head back on straight.

Now he watched as Reid and Rossi were crowded behind JJ, staring at something on the screen. "Henry's first soccer game over the weekend," JJ turned and flashed a very proud, very motherly, smile in Derek's direction.

He grinned as well, thinking about how much a family the team had become over the years. Morgan watched the short video of the little kids on a large green field. It wasn't hard to spot Henry, his golden hair flapping in the breeze created by his quick feet. The little guy had control of the ball for half the field and kicked a scoring goal. "Nice one," Derek was impressed. "I think you should get some scouts out to his next game, JJ."

She chuckled, knowing his was teasing. "Just wait until you and Emily have a kid, you'll be boasting all over the place about him."

Their small section of the bullpen went silent as Rossi and JJ looked pointedly at Derek. "I'm sorry, I…"

"Garcia has a big mouth," Morgan surmised.

"Why would Derek and Emily have a kid together?" Reid asked, looking very perplexed.

The three others laughed for a moment as the poor genius continued to search for a plausible explanation. "Spence," it was JJ who carefully broke the news to him. "Emily and Derek have been dating each other for a few months."

Reid frowned. "They have?" he seemed to ponder the idea. "How? She moved to London."

Morgan slapped a hand against his co-worker's shoulder. The young man was about as close to a brother as he'd ever had. He felt a little bad for not telling him, or the others, sooner about the nature of his and Emily's relationship. But it had been nice for a while to keep it close to the chest, something private between them. "Well, we mostly have to make do with texting, Skype and phone calls. But I flew to London a few months back, and she was here last month."

"But she didn't visit me," Reid was hurt.

"Sorry about that," Derek apologized, feeling even scummier about the whole situation. "Nothing personal, we just wanted to keep it to ourselves for a while but I know she…"

"Derek!" Garcia's voice interrupted them, echoing through the bull pen.

Aside from the frantic tone of her voice, Derek could see the worry clouding her eyes. "What's wrong, baby girl?" he asked, both hands on her shoulders in a calming stance. "You look like you've seen a ghost or something."

"I hope not," she whispered as her eyes darted around the room. Penelope broke free and snatched the remote off Anderson's desk. She aimed it at the TV and flicked from CNN to the BBC channel. Garcia couldn't get any more words out. She simply waved a hand at the TV screen.

All eyes in the BAU bullpen were focused on the screen, which revealed an old stone building with flames shooting out of the fifth or sixth floor windows.

"_We still have no details on what has occurred here tonight,_" the TV reporter babbled. "_But as you can see behind me, it's clear that London's Interpol building is on fire. From several eye-witness reports I've heard that it was some sort of explosion just after 8PM, only about twenty minutes ago. We have no way to know if anyone was inside at the time, though the late hour gives us hope not many were, if any…_"

Derek swallowed. "I just talked to her," he looked to Garcia. "She was there but about to leave. I'm sure she's home by now. Twenty minutes is plenty time for her to be home."

His cell phone rang and for a moment he truly believed it would be Emily. Then he glanced at the call screen and his heart sank.

"Let's go to the conference room," Rossi suggested. "Grab Hotch," he spoke the instructions more softly to JJ. She took off up the stairs as Rossi ushered the rest of the team to the room that hovered in the corner above the bullpen.

Morgan had let the call ring itself out, waiting to be in the more private space of the conference room before he answered. He had a feeling the caller would ring back soon. His suspicions were confirmed when the cell began to ring again just as Hotch entered the room with JJ. Derek answered, putting the man on speaker. "Easter?"

"Agent Morgan," the voice over the line carried a dignified British accent. "I assume you've seen the news reports?"

"You assume right," Derek kept his words brief, braced for whatever the man had to say. "My team is all gathered, you're on speaker."

"Good, easier to say this all at once," Clyde Easter responded. "We won't be able to enter headquarters for quite some time, but according to the electronic entry and exit records we can confirm that there were six people still logging in at the time of the explosion. Two are cleaning staff. Also agents Nancy Wilson, Mark French, Angus McGregor and…"

"Emily," Derek spoke her name before Easter could.

The phone was silent for a moment before Clyde spoke again. "I'm afraid so."

"Then she must have forgotten to log out when she left," Morgan concluded.

"As long as she was wearing her badge she would've been logged out. The computer can read IDs as our agents enter and leave. There's no requirement for them to swipe their badge," he informed them.

Derek's jaw tightened. "Then she forgot her badge in her office," he said.

"That is a possibility," Easter replied.

"But not one you believe?" Morgan's voice turned sour as the rest of the room remained quiet. He could feel them all watching him, waiting for him to break down at the news. But he wasn't nearly ready to give up on Emily. He'd stood by the last time she died, but he wouldn't believe it this time. Not unless he had concrete proof. And anything less than her cold dead body would not suffice. He hated to think in those harsh terms, but it was the only thing keeping him upright at the moment.

"Agent Morgan, I understand the nature of your relationship with Emily," Clyde kept his tone civil. "She spoke often and fondly of you. Emily also made me promise that if anything were to happen to her I should be the one to contact you personally. I do not make such promises lightly, I assure you."

Morgan's fingers balled into a fist. "I don't doubt it," his voice leveled off slightly. "But I suggest you have better proof than an electronic badge reader the next time you assume Emily is dead." He ended the call and was tempted to throw his cell phone across the room. Instead he remained as steady as possible as he called Emily.

"Derek what are you doing?" Garcia's voice was raw and worried as she clearly saw the call he was making.

He paid no attention to her and let the line ring. And ring. And ring.

"She was tired when I talked to her," Morgan finally gave up. "She probably turned her phone off to sleep."

The team continued to watch him. None of them wanted to believe Emily was dead, again, for real. "Morgan…" it was Hotch who dared to speak. "Easter will contact you again when he has more news. And we'll all stay here with you until then."

Derek wasn't sure what or how much his boss knew about his relationship with Emily. Like JJ, Garcia and Rossi, he guessed Hotch had surmised something along the way. Reid was the only one in the dark, but only because he was too damn smart to see the obvious. "This isn't a funeral," Morgan grumbled. "I'm not sitting around waiting for news. I'm going to the source. I can catch a flight to London and be there in time to help them search the building. But I'll most likely find Emily before that."

"London officials aren't going to let you near that building, Derek," Rossi tried to take a softer hand with him.

A nod came for Morgan. "Probably not," he actually agreed. "But I know someone who might be able to help." Then he was out the door.

xxx

"There's an agent Morgan here to see you, ma'am."

Elizabeth Prentiss looked to her assistant with a curious gaze. "Send him in." The words had barely left her lips and her assistant hadn't left the room when the tall figure of a man she'd briefly met years ago entered her private office. She stood and waved her assistant away. "Agent Morgan, is there some way I can be of assistance to you?"

Derek wasn't at all sure how to handle the woman. Emily didn't talk about her mother often, but he knew there was friction between them and always had been. He also knew they loved one another despite those mother-daughter issues. "I love your daughter," those were not at all the words he'd been planning to say.

"I hope so," the ambassador replied. "Considering you've asked to marry her."

Those words shocked him. "She… Emily told you that?"

The woman nodded and motioned for them to sit on a nearby sofa. "Contrary to popular belief, my daughter and I do occasionally speak to one another. She mentioned the proposal the last time we talked, though she seemed a bit confused on the matter. I'm afraid I didn't have any great advice to give her," Elizabeth sighed. "Her father and I have not demonstrated the best marriage qualities over the years. I suspect Emily doesn't wish to repeat our offenses."

He was impressed by the woman's candor but he realized how off topic his visit had gotten in a short span of time. "Ma'am, have you watched the news today?"

"No," her head shook, eyes narrowed in curiosity. "I used to keep closer tabs on worldly affairs, before I was forced into retirement. I've grown sour of the media's coverage as of late. I have taken to only watching the five o'clock news hour," she explained. "Has something happened?"

Morgan nodded grimly as he began to explain the bombing and what little he knew of Emily's involvement in it. He watched as she sat silently for a moment. It was too much. "A friend of mine is booking me a flight to London as we speak," Derek broke the quiet. He'd talked to Garcia on his way to visit the ambassador and she'd easily agreed to find him the next available flight out of DC.

"I see in your eyes that this is not a trip to retrieve my daughter's remains," Elizabeth observed. "You don't believe she's dead."

Her words had not been a question so he decided not to answer. "I understand that what Emily did to all of us a year ago - faking her death - it wasn't easy." Derek nearly laughed at the understatement of his words. "She wouldn't do that again, not for any reason. I'm sure there's something bigger at play here. She's been working on a case that I think may be part of this. But if I go poking my nose around in London, I'll have little to no authority there and..."

Elizabeth wore a thin-lipped smile. "I can make a few calls," she informed him. "There are still a few contacts I can count on in England. I'll do my best."

Derek stood. "I'm sure you will. Thank you," he turned to leave.

"Agent Morgan," she called after him. "Would you… if you find something, anything…"

He faced her with the most confident gaze he could muster. "I'll contact you as soon as I know anything," Derek vowed.

xxx

Morgan was at the airport a half hour later.

His foot tapped against the polished floor as he waited for the woman behind the ticket counter to finish. It seemed like she'd been typing something into her computer for much longer than it usually took. But he reasoned that he was far too antsy at the moment to be a decent judge of time. The airport was a bustle of people and noise, none of them realizing how much he missed a certain brunette. None of them understanding what she meant to him.

None of them knowing that if she were truly gone this time he'd be lost as well.

"Sir…" the attendant tried to catch his attention, waving the ticket beneath his nose. "Sir, you're holding up the line."

Morgan snapped back to reality. "Sorry," he took the ticket she was offering.

"You've been upgraded to a first class seat for your trip to London today, have a lovely flight," the woman smiled and quickly shooed him away in order to help the next person in line.

Waiting was the worst. Whoever had come up with the idea of being present two hours before an international flight should've been punished to the fullest extent of the law as far as Derek was concerned. He breezed through security and realized he had an hour and fifteen minutes before his flight boarded. Morgan wandered the gift shop and stared at the ticket in his hand. He guessed that Emily's mother had managed to upgrade his seat. He couldn't think of who else would've.

It was a nice gesture and unexpected. But Morgan was fairly certain that even extra leg room and free champagne weren't going to get him to London any quicker than a cramped economy seat, lukewarm soda and stale peanuts would. He found himself starring mindlessly at a collection of FBI hats and t-shirts at the gift shop and wondering what good his status at the BAU was if he couldn't save the woman he loved. Those same feelings had plagued him a year and a half ago when Doyle had taken Emily.

"Stop it," he mumbled to himself, trying to shake the gloomy mood. He needed to be in top form when he arrived in London. Lamenting history wasn't going to get him there.

After an agonizingly long sixty-seven minute wait, Derek boarded the plane.

He snuggled down into his fist class seat and smiled perfunctorily at the older woman who took the seat next to him. The rest of the boarding went amazingly smoothly and they were in the air before long. Derek shifted in his seat several times the first hour or so of the flight. He tried to sleep, tried to drink the coffee the attendant had brought him, but nothing seemed to calm his nerves. He guessed the woman beside him was annoyed because she took off down the aisle for a second time.

Derek closed his eyes for a moment.

"Hi," a voice beside him spoke.

Figuring it was another perky flight attendant, Derek chose to ignore the female voice.

"I guess you're sleeping, sorry. Didn't mean to bother you," the voice became a whisper. "I'll just wait till you wake up, Derek."

His eyes shot open and he turned to find a young girl seated beside him. "How do you know my name?" he eyed the child who was no more than eight or nine years old. Her dark hair was pulled back and bright blue eyes stared curiously at him. "Have we met?" Morgan couldn't help thinking maybe she'd been part of a case that he'd forgotten.

"Nope," she shook her head. "But I've seen your picture. Emily showed it to me a month ago when I met her on a flight from London to DC. Isn't it funny that I would meet you now, on my flight back to London," she giggled softly.

"Molly?" he guessed.

Her head nodded. "Emily mentioned me?"

The first smile since he'd talked to Emily at lunchtime graced his lips. "She did," his smiled faded just as quickly as it had formed. He thought about the bombing again and the last thing he wanted was to tell Emily's young flight friend that she might be dead.

"Something's wrong?" Molly easily guessed. "Is it about that news report I saw. The bombing in London?" her eyes darkened. "Is Emily… hurt?" she cautiously asked.

For some reason it seemed easy to talk to the girl. He confirmed her fears but kept his information as positive as possible. Silence fell between them for a moment, which he guessed was uncommon for the chatty girl. "I'm afraid my seat mate will be back soon," he said, not sure what else to talk about.

"No, she won't," the girl replied. "I traded her seats. Mine was up front but when I spotted you I thought I'd trade. I told her it was closer to the restroom. Older ladies like to be close to restrooms," Molly chuckled, her spirits somewhat renewed. "I know that sounds kind of rude, but it's true. All my grans friends in England are always talking about their toilet habits. It's kind of messed up."

Morgan cracked a small smile. "I'm glad to have your company."

"Thanks," she beamed, rarely finding anyone on her many flights to talk to.

Derek was actually grateful for the girl's ramble, which went on for nearly the whole flight. She spoke of her parent's divorce, about school and the long visit she'd just had with her father. Morgan learned more about the child's father's new girlfriend than he cared to know. But he did his best to commiserate with the girl. Their conversation did a lot to help keep his mind off of Emily. But as soon as their wheels touched down at Heathrow his stomach tightened.

He went through customs with Molly and met her mother at baggage claim where they parted.

It was six-thirty in the morning local time when he got on the train headed into town. Dark sky whizzed past him, and the feint pinpricks of fading star light. Derek smiled to himself recalling the silly thing he'd said to Emily during their last conversation. Something to the effect of her being a galaxy away. Those words didn't feel quite as silly at the moment as he wondered if he would ever see her again, or if she was truly gone from his life for good.

Among the dark sky and star streaks he chose to remain positive. "I'll figure out what happened, Emily," he whispered his promise to her, "No matter where that path may lead me."

* * *

><p><strong>The End (but to be continued...)<strong>


	31. Survival

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

**Sorry for the lag between parts. I have family visiting from England that I haven't seen in a year! Also, there is work. And I didn't think this story arc was going to get so long. Hope you enjoy this little bit...**

* * *

><p><strong>Survival<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>A month ago when Emily had given him a key to her flat, Derek had thought it a silly idea.<p>

Now he was thankful as he used it to enter her place. With one hand on the doorknob he still held on to the hope that she was asleep in bed, her cell phone turned off. But that hope was quickly snuffed out as he felt the chill inside her small flat wash over him. In fact, it was freezing. Morgan closed the door and ventured inside to find the meager contents of her home scattered about. Broken glass on the kitchen floor. Books pulled from the shelves of the case he'd refinished and tossed carelessly on the floor.

In the living room he found an open window to the fire escape - clearly the source of the cold late-November weather seeping in to her tiny London flat.

And most likely the point of entry for whom ever had trashed the place.

Derek's memories of his time with Emily on that very fire escape helped spurn him forward. He crept toward her bedroom, but she wasn't sleeping. She wasn't there at all. Crumpled bed sheets were balled in the corner of the room. The comforter was cast aside, large slashes cut in to the white fabric. More gouges were carved into the mattress. "What the hell were they looking for?" Derek mumbled to himself.

"That's a very good question," a male voice behind him spoke.

Morgan landed his eyes on the man's slightly superior look. "Easter. Why am I not surprised to find you here?"

The man chuckled flatly. "I was about to say the same of you, agent Morgan." He stepped in to Emily's bedroom and frowned. "I trust you had a safe flight," Easter said as he poked around the space a little more. "How was the first class service?"

"That was you?" Morgan's eyes narrowed.

"No, your future mother-in-law arranged those flight accommodations," Easter replied. "I just thought you should know we've had tabs on you since you left DC. And we will continue to do so while you stay in England."

"We?" Derek realized he was at a distinct disadvantage.

Easter smiled. "You have no authority here, agent. Our surveillance is in your best interest." He glanced in to the bathroom for a moment. "If the people who did this," one hand waved about the area. "Also set that bomb at Interpol headquarters… then they were clearly after something. And if you keep sticking your nose in it they may come after you."

"This is part of a case, isn't it?" Morgan guessed. The wheels in his head began to turn, which led him back to his last conversation with Emily. _We have new Intel here that leads us to believe Anton Vanko was not the guy we've been after._ "Anton Vanko."

"Is still very much in prison," Easter supplied. "But you're getting very warm, agent Morgan."

"What aren't you telling me?" Derek demanded.

"Officially, I'm not allowed to tell you anything."

Morgan's head shook. "Is this taunting behavior because of what went down last year? Are you trying to get back at us for the way we treated you, the TSA incident and…"

"I assure you, I do not hold a grudge about any of that, agent Morgan," Easter interrupted. "You all were doing your job, and I did want to help Emily back then. Just like I wish to help her now if at all possible," he did his best to placate Derek.

"Then you believe she's alive?"

A slight shrug of Easter's shoulders was given. "I know there is much left to discover," the man finally said.

"That's all I want," Derek was quick to agree. "I have no desire to step on anyone's toes here. You have your own investigation to deal with. All I want to know is if Emily died in that bombing. And if she didn't then I want to know where the hell she is."

With a tiny smile, Easter nodded. "Nothing I like more than when someone knows exactly what they want."

Derek took that as a show of good faith between them. He hoped to use it to push Easter just a little bit further. "I'm guessing you're here because something in this bombing seems off to you?" he ventured. "You came to see if Emily's place would yield any clues?" Derek further prodded.

Something close to a chuckled escaped Easter's lips. "You are persistent, agent," he acknowledged. "The state of Emily's flat does led one to believe that the bombing had a focus on her. None of the other victim's homes were ransacked in such a way," Clyde revealed. "I cannot tell you much," he sighed. "A team has begun the process of recovering remains from the bombing, but it will be hours before any positive IDs are made."

"I understand," Morgan nodded. He stood quietly, hoping for any other small morsel of information.

"We've also got our best technicians working to recover video surveillance footage from the wreckage," Easter revealed.

Morgan pursed his lips, knowing exactly who he'd have on that job if they were back in the states. "Any chance you'd consult with someone in the US on those video feeds?" he dared to ask. "Because I know a tech guru who can work miracles."

Easter sighed. "I've probably already given you more information than I should. Our investigation will remain internal, but thank you for the offer." He worked his way back through the flat toward the entry door. Easter turned to face Morgan again. "I know waiting can be horrible, but I assure you we're working as quickly as possible to solve this."

With a brief nod, Derek watched the man exit Emily's flat. "Thanks," he mumbled a bit snidely under his breath. "But I won't be waiting idly," Morgan vowed.

Movement caught his eye on the fire escape and his whole body tensed.

A flash of black leapt through the open window a moment later and caused Derek to smile. "Where have you been, Sergio?" he asked as the inky black cat came toward him and rubbed against his left leg. Derek reached down to pet the animal. "Were you out searching for Emily?"

For some reason, seeing the cat was the final straw that made the situation real to Derek. He felt a sudden pang of longing that was hard to ignore. But he swallowed it; forcing it down so deep he wouldn't be able to retrieve it until he had his final answers. "We need to figure this out, Sergio," it helped to speak to the cat. Morgan stroked the feline's soft fur and scratched behind his neck. The cat's collar caught the edge of his finger and caused him pause.

"What is this?" Derek asked, finally taking a moment to notice the animal's collar and tags. He realized he'd never really looked at them before. There were two of them. The front one was decorative, just a silver disk with a small red stone in the center. The one behind had Sergio's name, Emily's name and contact details on it.

Sergio meowed loudly as Derek continued to gaze at the front tag. It was thicker than he would imagine such a tag to be and as he flipped it over Morgan realized why. His eyes widened in disbelief and then in admiration. "Thank you, Emily, for being a paranoid ex-spy."

xxx

"Can you enhance it?"

"That's what I've been doing for the last ten minutes, my impatient friend," Garcia replied in a soft, understanding tone.

Derek sat anxiously in front of the laptop he'd brought with him. It turned out to be good thinking on his part since Emily's laptop had been smashed in to pieces along with everything else. He stared at Garcia's face in the upper right corner of his screen. Then his eyes slid back to the video feed in the center of his screen. He could hear voices, but the image was dark enough that he couldn't make out any faces. Of course, even hearing the voices didn't help much.

"I'm guessing that's Russian," he ran the idea past his friend.

"That would be my guess, too," Penelope concurred. "And here we have some faces to go with the voices," she declared as the video started from the beginning.

The tag he'd found on Sergio's collar had contained a tiny camera and a micro-SD card. Now he and Garcia watched the small length of film Sergio the cat had caught on tape. Two men moved about Emily's flat as Sergio followed them. They watched the men, starting from their point of entry at the fire escape. Derek witnessed the books being tossed around, the kitchen being trashed and Emily's bed being slashed.

After all that, one man picked up a hissing Sergio and starred almost directly at the camera. He spoke the only English words on the video. "Annoying cat."

Then the camera got garbled and fuzzy while Sergio's screech could be heard.

"Did he just throw Sergio?" Garcia was outraged.

"Sergio is fine," Derek assured her. "But we need to figure out what they're saying other than: annoying cat."

"I'll get a translator, and I'll run some stills through my facial recognition software," Penelope offered, willing to do anything possible she could to help her dear friends. "You know, even with all of this we might not find Emily," she spoke softly. "She might have been in that bombing."

Morgan nodded as a sigh rolled out of him. "I know," he agreed, though his heart wasn't in agreement. "Just help me for now?"

"You got it," she smiled for him. "I'll be in touch."

Her image winked off screen and he closed the laptop. Sergio brushed against his leg again, meowing softly. "I don't think it's safe here, Sergio," Derek said to the cat, running on a sudden gut instinct that told him to flee. "Let's grab a few things and go," he suggested.

Morgan packed up Sergio in his portable cat crate. He tossed his laptop back into his FBI issued go-bag and zipped it up. A quick glance around the space let his eyes focus on something near the bookcase. The letter tiles to Emily's Scrabble game were strewn about the floor, the board having been ripped apart. His head shook in disgust, wondering what could have been the reason for destroying a game board. Nothing he could think of other than sheer malice.

Derek scooped up two random letter tiles and stuffed them in his pocket. He grabbed Sergio's carrier and then left the building.

xxx

"Agent Morgan?"

He was barely out the front door of Emily's building when a woman greeted him. She was fairly short with blonde hair and a kindly smile. "Can I help you?" Derek was at a disadvantage not knowing the woman's name when she obviously knew his.

"I am Tasha Alexander," she replied. The young woman watched him for a moment and saw confusion blazing behind his eyes. "The ambassador did not have a chance to call you yet I am guessing? She said she would, but perhaps I was too swift in my desire to help."

It was not difficult to pick up the slight accent to her English words. He was almost certain it was Russian he picked up in her soft lilt, same as the conversation he'd heard on Emily's secret video. "Ambassador Prentiss sent you to help me?" Derek finally put the pieces together.

"Yes, sir," Tasha nodded. "I must admit I do not know exactly what is going on that requires my help. But she sent me to be of help to you in any way possible and I take that request very seriously. I have great respect for the ambassador and her husband. They have helped my family a great deal."

The pride in her eyes was evidence enough for Derek to take the woman seriously. And he was grateful for the help. "I have an idea how you might help in a very big way," Derek was not one to turn away a gift when one landed in his lap. "Is there a café nearby you know of?"

She nodded and led the way to a small coffee shop down the road. Derek pulled out his laptop and immediately played the video for her. "You understand what they're saying?" he asked with unmasked anticipation.

"Yes, of course…" Tasha grinned. "It is my native language." Her smile faded a bit as the video looped again. "I am afraid, though, that these men have hate in their hearts. They are talking about finding the woman who has been after their organization. They desire to…" she sighed looking into Derek's eyes. "It is Emily Prentiss, is it not? The one they are speaking of? The ambassador's daughter?" her head shook. "It is terrible the things they are saying they wish to do."

"Emily is in danger," Morgan conveyed. "She may already be dead." He explained about the bombing and everything else he knew.

"You love her?" Tasha asked. "Emily is your wife?"

"Not yet," his voice was much softer. "But yes, I love her very much. I just need to know what's happened to her."

Tasha nodded gravely. "I do not believe she is dead. But I do believe she may wish she was," the young woman relayed. "These men have plans to kidnap many women and make slaves of them, ship them off to very distant parts of Russia," she visibly shuddered. "They will be slaves, though not the sort to clean and cook if you understand."

"I do," Derek kept his voice calm though he wanted to punch something at the moment. "Why Emily?"

"She is to be shown that they are too big, too powerful, to be touched by Interpol," Tasha explained. "These men speak boastful about how they will torture her until she tells them she will make deal that they can go about their business. That she will make sure Interpol and any others stay away from sniffing out their drugs and their slave girls."

Morgan wanted to laugh. "They can sure as hell try," he said. "But there is one thing I know for certain, Emily will never make any sort of deal with these men."

"Then she will not survive," Tasha replied. "I am sorry to be the one to say such horrible words, but their plan for her is to die if she does not cooperate."

Derek wore a mask of strength he wasn't feeling in the pit of his stomach. "Why were they at her flat? Do they say anything about that?" he kept moving forward as much as possible. If he slowed down he knew he'd have to confront the reality that he might never see Emily again. And he wasn't ready for that.

"They say a few times that they need to make it look good," Tasha shrugged. "I am not sure why."

"A distraction," Morgan mused. "To throw us off the trail. Maybe make us think the bombing wasn't connected to them?" his head shook. "I don't know," Derek sighed. "Does that even make sense?" He sat up a little straighter and cleared his head. "Never mind that. We need to figure out where they might have taken her," he eyed Tasha again. "Did they mention anything like that, a location, a city, anything?"

Her finger pointed to one man in particular. "This one, he mentions Neva several times,"

"I heard that. It's significant?"

"It is a river in Russia that runs through Saint Petersburg," Tasha relayed. "I do not know if that is what he means. There are other towns and several small settlements that the river also flows past. Or perhaps it is the name of someone he knows. But I doubt that."

"Thank you, Tasha. You've been very helpful," Morgan said as he began to gather his things.

There was a brief smile from the woman. "But you are still in need of my services, yes? I am to stay with you as long as needed. I told the ambassador that I would."

"She must be paying you well," Derek remarked. He knew it was the wrong thing to say the second it came out of his mouth.

"The ambassador did wish to pay me, but I refused," Tasha wore a serious look. "Many years ago when I was a girl, the ambassador helped my family leave Russia for a better life in England. Without her help my sister and I may have become as these slave women those men speak of. I became a translator so that I could try to help others the way the ambassador and her family helped me. I learned and now speak four languages so I can help my native land rebuilt better relationships, as well as other countries."

"I didn't realize," Morgan apologized. "Did you know Emily?" he guessed Tasha to be at least five years younger than Emily.

"Oh, yes," a smile returned to the woman's face. "We met as teenagers when they visited England. Emily gave me a pair of blue jeans. And she let me try a cigarette. I was very much excited for that, but I did not like the smoking," Tasha chuckled. "I thought Emily was very cool. And she was most kind like her mother. I owe them much. I am sorry to know that men from my native country have done these things. It saddens me a great deal."

"It's not your fault, Tasha," he assured her. "Nor does it reflect on the entirety of your country. I know Russia has struggled through hard times, so have many countries. I would never judge an entire country based on a handful of foolish people."

Her smile was back again. "You are a good man. Emily is lucky to have you."

"Hope so," he mumbled softly. "I need to research this idea that Emily may be headed to Saint Petersburg or beyond." His eyes fell upon Sergio. "I also need a safe place for Emily's cat and myself so I can conduct my search. Do you know of a good hotel nearby?"

"No, no," Tasha's head shook emphatically. "You will stay with me and my sister and my daughter. We live very close. Come," she stood and waved him toward the door.

"I can't ask that of you," Derek said even as he moved toward the door with her. "It's too much, and it could be dangerous. Thank you, but I can make my way from here."

Tasha took Sergio's carrier from him and marched down the sidewalk with purpose. "You will stay with us. I insist. Stop your arguing. My daughter will adore the cat."

Morgan admired the young woman's plucky nature. She clearly wasn't taking no for an answer and he had very little desire to fight her. He followed her several blocks until they stood outside a modest brick building. Tasha ushered him inside where they climbed stairs to a second floor unit. The door was opened and Tasha ushered him inside. A small girl looked up from her spot on the sofa and smiled at the woman who had entered. Another woman looking nearly identical to Tasha entered from a back room.

"This is my little sister, Sophie," Tasha introduced the woman to her right. "And my daughter, Elya," she indicated the girl on the sofa. "Feeling any better, luv?" Tasha asked the child, giving her a quick kiss as she placed her palm to the girl's forehead.

"Some," the child nodded. "Is that a kitty?" she spied Sergio's cage.

Derek went to the carrier and easily lured the cat out. "This is Sergio," he introduced. "Do you think you could watch over him for a while?" Morgan asked the girl. "I have some important stuff I need to get done and I don't have time to feed him or pet him."

"I'm home from school because of a cold," Elya let him know. "But I'm much better today. I'll take care of him," she beamed.

"Thank you," Morgan left the cat in good hands.

"Mr. Morgan," Tasha spoke again. "You may use the table there for your computer and research," she offered while pointing to a small round table in the corner of the flat.

He grabbed his things and headed that way. "I appreciate it. I hope I'm not a bother."

"Not at all," Tasha assured.

After setting up at the table, Derek found himself lost in a sea of information that didn't seem to add up. He contacted Garcia to let her know he already had a translator. He also got his favorite tech to hack Emily's Interpol case files. They both knew using the ill-gotten information was a bit shady but they pacified themselves with the knowledge that it was in Emily's best interest. And her files did have a significant amount of data that led to Saint Petersburg being a possible hub for the group she was after.

A knock at Tasha's door several hours later gave Morgan a reason to take a break.

When Tasha answered and Easter entered, Morgan feared the worst. But he didn't show it. "Is this about Emily's remains?" he bravely asked. "It's been twelve hours. I assume that's enough time for positive IDs to have been made."

Easter nodded. "We've identified all six bodies from the bombing," he responded.

"And Emily?" Derek was sick of waiting. He just wanted it straight.

The other man shook his head slightly. "She was not among them. There were three agents, two cleaning crew and one man of Russian decent with a petty thief record."

"Then she's alive," Morgan breathed out.

"We have nothing to support that theory," Clyde Easter replied, eyeing Derek suspiciously. "Do you have some sort of information that I don't know of? Because if you do it would be in your best interest to share it with me," he implored.

Morgan didn't know what to make of the man, but he knew enough not to hold back secrets if it meant risking Emily's life. The only thing he felt strongly in regard to Easter was that the man truly wished to help Emily. "Here, I have something you should watch…" Derek cued up the cat-cam video.

When the video played out, Easter removed a portable flash drive from his pocket. "I suppose since you've been so honest with me, I should show you this. We managed to recover some of our surveillance video from just before the bombing," he handed the device over.

Tasha, Easter and Derek crowded around the laptop to watch. Even Sophie stood nearby with interest. During his several hours spent with the sisters, Derek had learned they'd both spent a bit of time with Emily as teenagers. It made him happy to know the wide extent of her support community, which also very much included the BAU team back in DC. The small group watched a patchwork of video, starting with two men killing the cleaning crew and ending with them entering the elevator with Emily.

"That's it?" Derek nearly growled with frustration. "What happened on the elevator? Where'd they go? Who the hell are they?"

"They are so bold as to not wear masks?" Tasha added her own question to the barrage.

"Garcia couldn't find any facial matches," Morgan reported.

Easter nodded. "They're very much off the grid. We believe one of them was the man we found dead. They are all disposable," he stated. "They are sent in to do the dirty work and do not care if their identity is revealed. They're willing to die for their leader. A trait we see in so many terrorist groups. No doubt it was agreed this man would die in order to have a body they could try to pass off as Emily. At least for long enough so they could escape the country with her."

"So now they're terrorists?" Morgan was on edge. "Not drug and human traffic dealers?"

"Most likely they are both," Easter shrugged. "They do whatever needed to get by. It's a way of life for them, to adapt. They have no real goal, no agenda other than making money by any means necessary," he concluded. "Their cause is not political or religious, it's simply about survival."

"Which makes them the most dangerous sort of criminal," Derek realized. "If they don't care about death they will do whatever necessary to insure their way of life continues, even if it means killing Emily to prove a point to Interpol."

A silent nod was all Easter gave in acknowledgment to that statement. "You should go back to DC, agent Morgan. There is nothing more for you to do here, and I have already told you far more than I should have," he said. "I cannot protect you if…" Easter trailed off when his cell phone rang. He answered. "I understand. No, just process the scene." He ended the call and aimed his gaze upon Derek once more. "That was agent Dyner. He just got a call about a fire at Emily's flat. Her place has been destroyed."

"What the hell?" Derek got to his feet. "They trash the place but don't torch it until several hours later?"

"You assume it was the same group," Easter replied.

Derek's jaw clenched. "Are you telling me Emily has more than one set of terrorists after her?"

"Or they're making it look that way to throw us off," the other man suggested.

Morgan sighed. "That actually makes sense," he agreed, realizing he was far too close to the case to be objective.

"I believe it's time for you to be heading back to DC, agent Morgan," Easter announced again, as if he had the final say on the matter.

"Like hell I'm leaving," Derek scoffed. "You can have me monitored from here to Saint Petersburg for all I care, but I'm not leaving until I find Emily."

"Alive or dead?" Easter questioned.

"I'm pretty sure you know my preference, Easter," Morgan slammed his laptop shut. "I'm not going away quietly so I suggest you either help me or get out of my way," he concluded.

Easter edged toward the flat's door. "Have it your way, agent Morgan." He departed without further words.

Tasha watched her new acquaintance, uncertain of what she'd gotten herself into. But she made up her mind rather quickly. "I think the best way to reach Saint Petersburg will be by train. Though why you just announced to that man where we're headed I am uncertain. Nevertheless, I shall order tickets. Better on my credit than yours," she suggested.

"I can't let you do that, Tasha," Derek protested. "You've done too much already. This goes beyond helping the family that helped you as a child, which is noble, but too much. And your daughter is sick, you should stay with her."

"I am here to watch Elya," Sophie said.

Both sisters were slight, but Derek could see their hearts were made of very strong material. "You know nothing of the language," Tasha continued. "You will be lost in short order if I am not there to help you. My sister, my parents and I… we would be dead most likely without the ambassador's help those many years ago. I do not wish for her to know that sort of conclusion to her daughter's life. You will argue no more," she decided.

Derek did not argue, not as Tasha bought train tickets for them nor as he watched her say goodbye to her daughter.

They were on the train within an hour, looking forward to at least a two day trip through half a dozen countries. It would be the most he'd ever traveled abroad. And Derek had to admit he felt better about it with Tasha's language background, just as he'd often felt at ease with Emily to do the talking. He did his best to remember some of the cases he'd worked with Emily that had ended well, and hoped for the same outcome to this; the most important case of their lives.

"Do you really think they will kill Emily?" Tasha asked.

His power of positive thinking exercise was crushed, but he didn't blame Tasha. She had every right to be worried. And he decided not to sugar coat anything for her. "I have no doubt they will. They'll do it just because they can, to prove they can get away with it. She means nothing to them."

"Then why are you going? If you believe she'll be killed, why bother to take the risk of being killed too?"

He sat silently for a moment, the train rumbling gently beneath them. Derek held one Scrabble tile in his hand, a finger rubbing over the letter H as if it were a lucky charm of some sort. "Because if I don't at least try to save her then I could never live with myself," he found a small bit of explanation for her. "But mostly because I love her."

Tasha flashed him a sympathetic smile. "You're a good man."

Morgan retreated to a time when Emily had said something similar to him. _"You're a good guy… you make the people around you feel good."_

At that moment he'd give just about anything to hear Emily say those words again. Or any words. Even if she wanted to argue with him. Even if she wished to say no to his marriage proposal. Derek closed his eyes and prayed. He didn't do it often anymore, but he sent out a silent prayer for Emily. And for himself. That they would both make it through this latest ordeal. At the very least, he prayed they would survive to see each other one more time.

* * *

><p><strong>The End (but to be continued...)<strong>


	32. Amnesia

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

**I promise I'm still working on the other series here, but I really needed to write something light-hearted for a moment. Please enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Amnesia<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>"Derek?"<p>

He tried to keep his eyes closed tight, but he could already feel sleep dissipating as she snuggled closer. Morgan could just about guess what was on her mind. For the last few months she'd been bugging him about food first thing in the morning. And she always used the snuggling tactic, which he usually fell for. But as he finally opened his eyes and glanced at the clock he groaned. "It's two in the morning, Em. Unless you're in labor I'd…" he sat up quickly. "Are you in labor?" he asked.

Emily shook her head as one hand rested atop her heavily pregnant belly. "No, I'm hungry."

Derek flopped back on to the bed and sighed. "Oh, well go get yourself a snack." Eating at any hour of day or night seemed to be her favorite third trimester pastime. "I have to be at work in six hours. If Hotch catches me dozing in my office again he's going to kick me off the team."

"No he won't," Emily insisted.

Her voice was soft against his ear and Derek cursed her for making him fall so head-over-heels in love with her. She could pretty much get him to do anything with a simple word. He loved her so much it hurt some days, and he'd do anything for her. "What do you want?" he finally asked, rolling over to snuggle closer to her. His hand smoothed along one side of her stomach and was rewarded with a powerful kick. He couldn't help smile at the feel of his unborn child. "A sandwich?"

"Actually… a bowl of Fruit Loops sounds good," she arched her brows. "With ketchup instead of milk."

His stomach twisted in disgust. "Pretty sure we're out of Fruit Loops."

"I know," she confirmed. "But there's the all night store a few blocks from here. They always have Fruit Loops," Emily concluded.

She was wearing a sweet smile, which should have been his first clue. But he sat up again and nodded. "Okay, I'll go get you Fruit Loops." He pulled on sweat pants and a t-shirt then kissed Emily on the forehead. "Guess I should get used to these late nights anyhow," he said, thinking about when the baby arrived. Derek stood in the doorway for a moment, staring at Emily with a mixture of irritation and love. "I'll be right back."

"Love you," she replied. "You're the best."

He nodded and slipped out the door, mumbling to himself, "I know."

Twenty minutes later he was back. Derek poured a bowl of Fruit Loops and went to the fridge. He glanced between the milk and the ketchup and shuddered as he finally reached for the bottle of red condiment. He contemplated squeezing some ketchup on to the cereal but he was too disgusted to do so. Instead he carried the bowl of cereal and bottle of ketchup separately. "If she's really that desperate for such a nasty combo she can do the dirty work herself," he mumbled to himself.

Derek entered the room feeling triumphant, only to find Emily fast asleep. He smiled and shrugged. "Figures."

With a sigh he placed the bowl and bottle on her nightstand and then slipped back in to bed beside her.

He was awoken later in the morning by kissing, which was not at all a bad way to wake up even if he was still groggy from his late night run to the store. Derek turned to find Emily very interested in further kissing. About the only plus he'd found to her being pregnant was her second and third trimester increased sex drive. Not that he wasn't looking forward to being a dad. But he would be happier when the mood swings were a thing of the past. "Morning," he whispered, pressing a kiss to her lips.

"Morning," her response was the last word they spoke before their bodies connected.

A half hour later, Emily lay with her head against his chest. "It might be a while before we get to do that sort of thing after the baby is born," she lamented.

"S'okay," he slurred, still drunk on afterglow. "This baby will be well worth it," Derek caressed her belly. "Even worth a trip to the store at two in the morning, and worth the stomach turning concoction of Fruit Loops and ketchup," he chuckled softly.

"What?" she turned up her nose. "That's disgusting. Even I could never come up with a ridiculous mixture like that."

Morgan was stunned silent for a moment. "But you did," he pointed toward the bowl and bottle on her night stand. "I brought that for you last night, per your request," he noted. "You specifically asked for Fruit Loops and ketchup."

"I didn't do that," Emily looked at him like he was crazy. "And it doesn't look eaten, because I wouldn't eat such nastiness. Which means you must have been dreaming or something."

"No," his head shook emphatically as he practically pushed her away. "I was not dreaming, Emily. And yes, you did ask for that," he waved a finger at the items.

She sat up and pulled away from him, a hurt look in her eyes. "Why are you arguing with me?" Emily's tone was abrupt. "I'd remember if I asked for something as gross as Fruit Loops and ketchup. And I know I didn't ask for them because I don't remember that happening." She got out of bed and stormed to the bathroom, slamming the door.

Morgan threw up his hands.

xxx

He knocked lightly on Hotch's open office door. "Do you have a minute?" Derek asked.

"Sure," Hotch looked up. "What is it?"

"I just wanted to apologize that I haven't exactly been at the top of my game lately. I'm a bit tired," it was a hard thing for him to admit to his boss. Derek prided himself at always being in control of the situation. "I just… things have been a little difficult lately."

Hotch gave a sympathetic nod. "Emily's pregnancy?"

"Yes," Derek let out a sigh as he sat down across from his supervisor. "I don't know what's going on with her hormones, but… she'll tell me one thing and a few minutes later, or the next morning, it's like she doesn't even remember what she said. And this morning she actually accused me of lying to her because she couldn't remember something," his head shook.

"Pregnancy amnesia," Hotch said.

"What? That's a real thing?" Morgan's eyes widened. "Emily made me think I was the one going crazy when she didn't remember asking me to go to the store for Fruit Loops and ketchup in the middle of the night."

"No pregnant woman will ever admit that it's a real thing," Hotch actually smiled. "But any husband of a pregnant female will tell you that it is very real. I probably should've told you all this sooner, but women get a bit crazy when they're doped up on pregnancy hormones. It makes them forgetful with mood swings that you will never be able to predict. And whatever you do, don't confront them about stuff. Don't argue, you will not win," he warned.

"I already made that mistake," Derek lamented. "So how do I keep from losing _my_ mind?"

"You just agree," Hotch responded. "Or disagree. If she wants pickles and ice cream you agree and get it for her. If she asks you if she looks fat, you disagree. You tell her she looks perfect just the way she is. You tell her she'll bounce right back after the baby is born. You tell her she's performing the greatest single miracle of life."

Morgan nodded. "You lie through your teeth."

"Now you're catching on," the other man agreed.

"The thing is I do think it's a miracle," Derek revealed. "And I want to share in the ups and downs of all of it, but I just feel so overwhelmed most of the time. I just want the baby here now so things can go back to normal."

Hotch chuckled softly at his poor deluded friend. "Morgan, your life after becoming a parent will never be normal again."

Derek was about to ask for further advice when his cell phone rang. He glanced at it with trepidation. "Sorry," he said while standing and moving toward the door. "It's Emily, I should probably answer," Morgan exited the office and greeted his wife. "Hi, honey… everything okay?"

"I'm fine."

He thought she sounded calm enough. "Good. What's going on?"

"Well, I was wondering if you could bring home some…"

xxx

Emily frowned as she plunked herself down on the bed. "No, no… this isn't right," her head shook as she regarded the assortment of items he'd brought home.

Morgan sighed internally. He could almost see the tears forming in the corners of her eyes. "What's not right?" Even as hormonal as she could be, he hated to see her cry. "You called the office requesting chocolate. I've got oodles of it here," he pointed to the collection on the bed in front of her. "Look, there's chocolate pudding, chocolate chip cookies, dark chocolate bars in about three varieties of cocoa percentages, fudgesicles…"

"But I really wanted peanut butter cups," she lamented.

"Oh," Derek mentally kicked himself. It was about the only chocolate product he hadn't thought to get. "Well you never said that specifically."

Her eyes rose to meet his and she glared at him for a moment. "Of course I did," Emily growled. "I know what I want and I know exactly what I told you."

"You know what… hold on for one minute," Derek fled the room and ran downstairs. He hated to admit he was slightly afraid of his pregnant wife.

He dashed through the kitchen, grabbed a spoon and the jar of peanut butter from the fridge. Derek ran back upstairs in near record time. With all the running around and fetching of things for her, Morgan was sure he'd lose nearly as much weight as she was putting on. Not that he would ever mention her putting on weight, at least not if he wanted to live to see the birth of his child. "Voila," he presented the peanut butter to her along with one of the chocolate bars."

"It's not the same," Emily replied even as she began to devour the combo.

Derek kept a cool head and walked across the room to grab his cell phone off the dresser. He fiddled with it for a second and then played the recording he'd made earlier.

"_Everything okay?"_

"_I'm fine."_

"_Good. What's going on?"_

"_Well, I was wondering if you could bring home some chocolate."_

"_Sure, what kind? Anything specific?"_

"_No, just whatever."_

With the peanut butter spoon hanging from her mouth, Emily mumbled, "You recorded me? How could you be so completely insensitive? Was that your idea or did you get Garcia to help you? Maybe she spliced some words together for you. I can't believe you'd go to such lengths to try and prove a point." Emily had tears rolling down her cheeks as she gathered her peanut butter jar, spoon, and the rest of the chocolate before heading downstairs.

"I give up," Derek sighed as he flopped on to the bed.

xxx

_Four weeks later…_

The small bundle in his arms wiggled and cried softly. Derek held his son close as he walked down the hall, still somewhat worried about dropping the infant. He was both overjoyed and freaked out about being a father. Even three weeks of the task hadn't changed that feeling. He doubted eighteen years would either. Morgan smiled at that thought, all the years they had ahead of them. His smile grew as he reached the bedroom and spotted Emily waiting for them.

"I changed his diaper," Derek announced. "And put ointment on his rash," he added before Emily could ask. "Now I think he's ready for a snack."

Emily sat up and instantly went about unbuttoning her nightshirt. She reached for the baby, happy to have his weight transferred back to her arms. The little guy snuggled up close to her and rooted for just a second before latching on. Emily caressed the boy's cheek as he suckled; still amazed by the life they'd created. She turned to find Derek seated beside them, a content look spread across his face. It sent a pang of regret shooting through her.

"I'm sorry," Emily spoke softly, hoping the baby would fall asleep quickly. She and Derek could both use a few more hours rest.

Derek's head was cocked and his brows rose. "For what?"

"For the last few months that I was pregnant," she clarified her apology. "I know I was… difficult to live with."

"Nah," he denied. "More like impossible," Morgan grinned, leaning in to kiss her cheek.

She sighed. "I just feel bad. I know I accused you of lying a few times. And even though I really don't remember some of the odd requests I made back then, I know you'd never lie to me," Emily admitted. "So I'm sorry."

He let his head rest against hers as he gazed down at their son. "Apology accepted. But none of that matters now. All that matters is you and me and this little guy. Our family," Derek marveled at the baby again. He touched his tiny bald head and was awed by the utter softness of his son's skin. The baby was a few shades darker than Emily, but still rather pale. And his brown eyes were a reflection of both parents. "He's perfect."

With a nod, Emily aimed a smile at her patient and loving husband. "Just like his daddy," she concluded.

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	33. Distraction

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

**My apologies again for the lack of posts, it is the busiest of times at the ballpark where I work. I hope this little bit of story will tide you over for a short time. Thank you all for reading and for your lovely comments. They are cherished.**

* * *

><p><strong>Distraction<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>"Just tell me where I…"<p>

Emily could get no further words out. She felt her limbs grow heavy against the uncomfortable place she was laying. Her mouth was so dry she'd barely been able to say those few words. Not that she'd believed for a second her captors would tell her where she was, but she had to do something. Emily did her best to stay alert. But she felt herself losing the current round of fighting as her mind drifted into another state of unconsciousness.

"_I miss you," Emily didn't care that her voice was emotion filled. It had been a long hard week and she wished she was lying next to him rather than watching him via a web cam. But at least that was better than not seeing or hearing him at all._

"_The feeling is mutual," Derek smiled._

"_How was your case?" she inquired. The reason they hadn't spoken in days was due to his schedule this time._

_He let go a heavy sigh. "Four girls dead, but we saved one," Morgan revealed. "UnSub had some seriously messed up sexual fantasies that he was playing out with those girls," he shuddered. "Even after all these years of working this job, I don't know…" his head shook. "Some days are just bad."_

"_Sexual fantasies don't have to be a bad thing, though," she assured him, hoping to lighten the conversation. With her in London and him in DC they had such precious little time to talk that she hated wasting it rehashing their case loads. "I've had a few about you lately," Emily grinned._

"_Oh, yeah?" he was interested despite the horrific case. She was always able to help him escape. "What sort of fantasies have you been having?"_

"_Just you and me, sleeping in late and me waking you up with a special surprise," she spoke cryptically._

_Morgan hated the distance between them all the more in that instant. "What sort of surprise? You in a mask, completely naked? Because I think we did that one already."_

_She laughed. "How about you?" Emily shifted the topic. "Any fantasies in your lifetime?"_

"_Sexual ones? Of course," he easily admitted. "A threesome is at the top of my list," Derek revealed._

"_Let me guess, you and two women you can watch going at it," she rolled her eyes._

"_Well, yes," he didn't bother denying it._

_Her head shook. "And here I thought you were better than all those other men. I thought you'd be unique. Why is the male species number one fantasy a threesome? Honestly, I have no desire to see two guys in any kind of intimate moment," Emily let it drop a little, deciding to indulge him. "So, which two women are in this fantasy of yours?"_

"_The Kardashians," he replied._

"_Wow, didn't take long for that response," she couldn't help notice. "Aren't there more than two of them? Never mind, I honestly don't want to know. I'm not even sure what to do with you anymore. You think you know someone and..."_

"_It's just a fantasy, Emily," he shrugged. "I can't control who pops into my fantasy. I'd probably been watching something on E! late one night and I had a dream and it became recurring, though not as recurrent as the one with you and I in the bathtub…" he trailed off. "You know what, why don't you tell me your deepest darkest fantasy?"_

_She instantly clamed up, "Don't have one."_

"_Liar."_

_Emily tried to look hurt by his accusation. "What? You're accusing me of lying because I've never had a sexual fantasy."_

"_I'm calling you a liar because you just told me a minute ago you had a fantasy about me and a surprise. Now spill," Derek insisted._

"_That's different because it's about you…" she could see in his eyes that he wasn't about to let it drop. Emily sighed, "Fine, if you must know… Han Solo," she revealed._

_Derek's eyes narrowed a little. "Han Solo is my surprise?"_

"_No, my fantasy," she chuckled._

_His brows arched even as a smile formed. "Ah, so you've got a thing for Harrison Ford do you?"_

"_Nope… Han Solo," Emily replied with fortitude._

"_Okay…" Derek regarded her a moment in silence. "But you know he's a movie character, right?"_

_She nodded. "And the things he can do in the Millennium Falcon's cockpit…"_

_Morgan laughed. "You sure Chewbacca doesn't join in?"_

_Her head shook. "No threesome for me, just Han and I making love in the Falcon's pilot seat after defeating Darth Vader and blowing up the death star."_

"_And what about Princess Leia?" he questioned. "Won't she have something to say about you and Han?"_

"_I think I can take her," Emily spoke seriously._

_He grinned. "Okay crazy sci-fi girl, you can never make fun of me keeping up with the Kardashians again…"_

A great deal of laughter had followed. She tried to remember the laughter.

Emily groaned as she began to claw her way back from the brink of unconsciousness. The memory of that conversation with Derek felt like a dream. At the moment she couldn't honestly say if it had happened or not. But she held on to it, realizing that it was a fantasy in its own way. Her desire to be close to Derek again, to laugh with him, to tease each other, just to see his face again - she held tight to those fantasies. It was hard, though, with her pounding headache.

Drugs.

She knew that was the cause of her disoriented state at the moment. The brief times she'd been semi-lucid in resent hours had left her in the same state of confusion. Emily fought against it the best she could, hoping for a longer period of wakefulness this time. As silent minutes ticked away in her head clarity began to paint a picture for her. A dark space, the ache of her arms tied above her head, and a gentle constant click-rumble beneath her.

Train.

It seemed the most likely cause of the sound, and she guessed it to be one of the easier methods of travel chosen by her drug smugglers. Except now she had solid confirmation that they were far more dangerous than average drug traffickers. She took several deep breaths as she lay there, bound and helpless. Emily finally realized the place was dark due to a cover over her eyes. She immediately began to rub her head against the hard surface she was laying on to see if she could free her eyes from the blindfold.

"I advise you to leave the cover over your eyes," a voice spoke from somewhere nearby.

Emily stopped. She could tell it was a woman's voice with a slight accent. "Who are you?" Emily asked. "Where are we? What's going on?" She hated how desperate her voice sounded, but she chalked it up to the drugs still swimming in her system. They dulled everything and at the same time made her feel frantic.

"You'll find out soon enough. But I advise you do as they ask," the woman said. "You do not need to know my name. I am no one to you, and no one of importance to them. They do and take as they please. The same will be done to you. The best way to endure is to leave the cover over your eyes. Seeing them will not help."

The woman's accent had sounded British at first, but Emily picked up the distinct lilt of a Scottish brogue as well. And there was a lack of emotion to the woman's tone that caused Emily's heart to ache. A loss of hope was the greatest achievement of a kidnapper. They'd clearly attained that with this woman. Emily could only imagine the things the woman had endured, and she could imagine a great deal. "My name is Emily, what is…"

"No," the woman hissed quietly. "Do not tell me that. I do not wish to know you. It will only make your death harder."

"Well, I have no plan to die here - wherever we are - so don't worry about me," Emily spoke with more courage than she was feeling at the moment. "I can only guess at some things but I'm sure you and I are both in danger. We should be working together…"

A loud clang stopped her words. Footsteps drew near. Then there was a prick against her arm.

"Damn…" Emily swore softly, realizing what would follow. The footsteps retreated and the clang sounded again, most likely some sort of door. "Are you still there?" she asked the darkness, hoping the woman would answer. "I need your help and you need mine… we… need…" When Doyle had captured her she'd delayed him, distracted him long enough for her team to find her. Emily knew she'd have to do the same again now. "Have to… stay… alive."

As much as she wanted to fight back - to fight the bastards that were holding her and put an end to their operation - as the drugs took hold she knew her only choice was to endure.

xxx

She awoke abruptly.

Cold water was splashed against her face. It ran down her neck and trickled along her shoulders. Retreating footsteps and the clang of a door resounded in her ears. Emily opened her eyes but they were still covered by some sort of cloth. But she instantly sensed that she'd been moved. She was upright, though still chained by her hands above her head. Emily was barely able to stand, but she had her back against a wall for support. She listened for a sound, anything to tell her she was not alone. She heard nothing.

That caused her to go to work on a plan. It wasn't much of a plan at the moment, though, other than to free her eyes from the blindfold.

Emily used the wall behind her. She rubbed the cloth up and down in the hopes of loosening it, which she managed. It actually took a very short time for her to get the blindfold down around her neck. It took slightly longer for her eyes to adjust to the bright florescent lights in the space. The area was small, a long rectangular room. Given the rumble that continued beneath her feet, she was still certain they were aboard a train. Emily surmised she was in some sort of cargo car.

After that observation was concluded she looked down at her body and sucked in a sharp breath.

The business slacks and blouse she'd last been wearing were nowhere to be found on her thin frame. She wore a dress that was at least two sizes too big for her. The creamy fabric was adorned with violet flowers. But it was filthy and torn. As much as she feared who might have undressed and redressed her, Emily wasn't as shocked by the clothing as she was by the bruises she spotted on her legs. She didn't remember any incident in which they might have formed.

Her stomach felt twisted, a combo of disgust and hunger. She did her best to suck down some of the moisture on her lips as she tried to form a new plan.

A door opened to her left, interrupting her plan formation.

"You are stupid, but brave," a woman spoke as she entered the space, closed the door and approached Emily.

It was easy to recognize the woman's voice, the same English-Scottish accent she'd heard earlier in the darkness. "What's your name?" Emily asked again.

"Laren," the women spoke in the softest whisper.

Emily smiled despite the dire situation. She easily realized the irony of the woman's name being very close to that of her under cover alias while on the Doyle case. But her brief second of amusement was snuffed out as the woman approached and reached for the blindfold cloth around Emily's neck. "Please, you don't need to put that back on. I've already seen you and this room. I know we're on a train. I know…"

"You know very little, Emily," Laren interrupted. "I told you before, and I will assure you again, the blindfold will be a welcome thing when they come for you."

Realization stuck like a ton of bricks. "They plan to rape me?" Emily asked.

Laren kept her eyes toward the floor. "That is their business," she nodded. "Our business," the young woman added. "I was studying in London - fine arts – when these men said they could help me make some money for school. I was a foolish girl. My father is Scottish, but my mother was raised in Russia before moving to England. She taught me some of the language. It was enough for these men to desire my help," Laren explained her story in very little detail.

"And you realized too late what it was they were doing," Emily guessed.

The young woman nodded. "Now I am a drug addict and there is no way out for me. I do what they ask, anything. I am their willing slave, a slave to their drugs. I am only talking to you now because they deem it okay."

"Why?"

"They want me to make friends," Laren replied.

"So you can betray me," Emily realized. "Why are you telling me?"

"I am an honest person, despite all this," Laren announced. "And I know they will kill me one day when I am no longer useful to them. It is only a matter of time. I am sort of the walking dead, you could say. I have nothing to lose. But you can still be saved, if you believe it enough. And I think you do."

There was the smallest bit of hope flicking behind Laren's grey eyes, Emily was almost sure of it. Not hope for herself, though, but for a stranger. For Emily. The door was flung open and Emily heard a man shout in Russian, "Leave us," his words were directed toward Laren. Emily watched as the woman's ounce of hope dimmed from her eyes. She watched Laren go, realizing how very young she was. No more than twenty five, if even. Far too young to be so broken.

Emily was brought back to reality once again as the man's hand slapped across her right cheek. The sting lingered as long as his eyes roamed her body with unmasked desire. "How are your accommodations?" he asked, speaking in Russian. "Horrible, I hope. They are not meant to be nice. Do you know why you are here? It is a punishment, or maybe what you call blackmail. You are here to make a deal, do you understand?"

She ignored the man's words, but she studied him. Short and stocky. Messy dark hair. A nose two times too big for the rest of his facial features. Crooked and missing teeth.

"I know you understand," he persisted, though he switched to speaking in English. "I know many things about you. You speak Russian and you have lived in mother Russia, as a girl. With you mother the ambassador, your rich father the businessman. You are very worldly, Emily Prentiss. But I find it amusing that you do not have a security system for your flat in London. Especially after everything that happened with a man named Ian Doyle."

Emily crinkled her nose at the mention of Doyle. But she was more unsettled by this man's knowledge of her past.

He wore a twisted grin. "Struck a nerve, did I? I believe I can strike another," he walked to the door, knocked twice and returned his attention to Emily.

The only noise for a few seconds was the constant thrum of the train along the track. Until the door opened and another man entered. He was younger with blonde hair that was cut very short. A laptop was carried beneath one arm until he reached the dark-haired man and made the tradeoff. The leader shooed the younger man off and then powered up the laptop. He held it for Emily to see. "This is your Interpol office. Watch," he commanded.

She did as asked and witnessed the explosion, trying hard to curb her astonishment.

"Now the building where you live," the man fast forwarded to another video clip. "I'm sure you will be much more interested to see this one."

With carefully controlled emotions Emily viewed the video. The time stamp was sped up until someone she recognized entered the building. She did her best not to whisper Derek's name. She made a vow not to react, not to give him that kind of power over her. She had nothing to say to him. Not as the video swung to an interior shot. Not as she watched Derek poking around her messy flat. Not as she saw Derek pick up Sergio. Not even as the screen suddenly erupted into a disturbing image of what seemed to be another explosion.

"That man was Derek Morgan, an agent with the FBI in the United States," her torturer stated. "He was important to you, but now he and your annoying cat are dead."

Her jaw clenched, lips mashed together as she tried not to bite her tongue.

"Do you not care?" the man asked teasingly. "He did not believe you were dead. He figured it out. He knew the truth. But it is too late for him now. He is dead, and with him died your chances to be found. There is no rescue for you," he played more of the video.

Emily watched the exterior of her building, the windows of her flat spewing flames and smoke. But she didn't speak.

"You are strong," he nodded, closing the laptop and setting it aside. "I am impressed," he approached her again, this time his meaty left hand came to rest high upon her thigh and he squeezed it roughly. "The only way out of this will be to make a deal with me. All the strength in the world will mean nothing. No one is coming to your rescue…" his other hand moved to her waist and worked its way upward. His breathing became labored with obvious lust.

It took every ounce of resolve not to flinch against his sickening breath and touch. But she could no longer stay quiet. "Yes, you said that already," Emily spat the words, annoyed with his doom and gloom mantra. "And you're about to tell me that the only way to save myself at this point is to make a deal with you, something along the lines of letting me go if I let you continue running drugs and pimping out innocent girls all around Europe. If not, you rape and probably kill me."

"Then we are in agreement," the man replied.

"Not even close you bastard," she growled. "If you believe for one second that I'd ever make a deal with your sorry ass then you are a fool. So feel free to keep me here or in Russia or wherever you want for as long as you like. Rape me. Kill me. I'm not giving in to your demands."

"Have it your way," he shrugged, pressing his body in closer to whisper in her ear. "If you do not make deal, you die. That is promise. We will wait to reach Russia then feed you to the fish in Neva River. Simple plan. Then we can kidnap other agent of Interpol and offer them the same deal. One of you will be willing," he was confident. "Or you keep dying," his hand moved toward a pocket on his shirt. He pulled a syringe free. "You have very little time to make your decision."

She said nothing. The prick of his needle was very much expected, and almost welcome.

xxx

"Wake now, you must wake Emily… it is very important."

Emily's eyes were crusted over but she managed to crack them open. She found Laren there in front of her with something akin to worry on her face. It didn't seem likely given what the young woman had told her earlier, about being too deeply entrenched in her current way of life to escape. If Laren had made a turn around so quickly, Emily reasoned it may be a trap. But she was far too disoriented to make a very good judgment about the situation at the moment.

"Do you know you are a trouble maker?" Laren asked.

A small smile formed on Emily's lips. "I have heard that before, once or twice. Just talk to any principal at any school I attended… or my parents."

Laren sighed. "I am to clean you up a bit," she explained. "Marko will return soon. He will demand an answer again and you must give him one. If you do not give in he will do as promised," she explained. "He will… hurt you."

"You mean rape and kill," Emily deadpanned. "You can say it. I don't doubt he will."

The young woman used a damp cloth to clear some of the sweat and dirt from Emily's face. "How can you know those things and not seem frightened?" she inquired. "I have been with Marko for nearly four years and even with the drugs he frightens me. I see him in my sleep, which means I do not sleep often or well."

Emily sighed, noticing something she hadn't a moment ago. There was a large bruise on Laren's upper arm that hadn't been there before. She easily guessed Marko the brute had been the one to put it there. Instead of fear, anger pooled in her stomach. "I have been frightened too much in my life to let Marko and his other thugs intimidate me," her voice faded a bit as she shook her head. "Honestly," she looked Laren in the eye. "I am afraid, but I just can't let Marko see that."

The young woman looked over her shoulder then back to Emily. "Do you have a plan?"

Again Emily feared the girl might be setting up a trap. Become a friend, a confidant, and then betray her to Marko. But it was a risk she needed to take. "Not a very good one," she revealed. "But it may just cause a big enough distraction to free ourselves from here."

"You," Laren stated. "Not me."

"Laren, you have to come with me," Emily insisted. "You have to help me get the other girls away from here."

"I have no life outside this now," the girl replied.

It was painful to hear the woman's lack of faith return. "What about your family? You're young; you must still have parents living? Siblings?" Emily tried to reach her.

There was a look of regret that flashed in Laren's eyes. "I was the only child. My parents are a bit older because they tried for a long time to have me. My mother was past her prime child bearing age and the doctors did not think it wise for her to have me, said there could be many problems. They didn't want my mother to be disappointed with the baby she might end up with. But I was perfect, so my mother said." Laren's head shook regretfully. "Until I disappointed her twenty-one years later by becoming this person I am today."

A sigh was Emily's first response. She knew what it was like, that difficult relationship between mothers and daughters. "I imagine she still loves you very much."

"She believes I am dead," Laren countered. "I have been gone so long she will have given up on me."

"I doubt that very much," Emily insisted. "No mother that loved you enough to have you despite all the risks would give up so easily. If she loves you even half as much as you think, she'll never give up the hope of seeing you again." Silence fell between them and Emily could see Laren contemplating her words. But she needed to change the subject because she imagined they had little time. "How many men does Marko have on this train?"

Laren pursed her lips for a long time, struggling with the right thing to do. "Just Marko and Jason. Marko is the dark-haired one, Jason the other."

"And how many girls are they transporting?" Emily asked, specifically trying not to include Laren in their group.

"Nearly two dozen," she revealed in a forced whisper. "Also they are transporting drugs and alcohol," she motioned toward the far end of the cargo car where a large number of boxes were stacked in the corner. "They will kill me for telling you."

"I'll protect you," Emily promised, having already noticed the boxes.

The girl almost smiled. "I wish you could," she took Emily's hands and squeezed them gently. "Please know that whatever happens, I value our time together. I appreciate your strength and what you've tried to do for me."

The words sounded dangerous to Emily, the kind a person speaks before taking their own life. She looked into Laren's green eyes. "And I appreciate your honesty and kindness."

Laren nodded before gathering her wash rag and bucket of water. She fled the space before another word could be spoken. Marko entered shortly after Laren's departure. He wasted no time stalking his way toward Emily. He also had no qualms at all about pressing himself against her, letting his hands group their way around her body again. Emily clenched her jaw, bidding her time. She knew she needed to wait for the perfect moment to strike. So she endured. For several seconds that drew into agonizingly long minutes.

When he was close enough to kiss her neck she drew her left knee upward to connect with his balls.

Marko went to his knees, clutching the precious injured bits of his anatomy.

Emily promptly wrapped both legs about his neck and squeezed as tightly as possible. Within only a few moments Marko collapsed to the floor. She didn't know for sure if she's killed him or just put him to sleep, and she didn't care. Emily went to work on the next problem, her wrists still being tied above her head. During the brief times of consciousness she'd realized her hands were tied around a steel support beam on the train's roof. It was sturdy, not going to budge. But it also had sharp edges.

And thankfully the ropes were thin.

She was free in a matter of minutes, but her legs buckled upon having all her weight on them again. They were weak and numb, as were her arms for the most part. But she didn't let that stop her from crawling toward the door and prying it open with what little strength she had left. Emily looked left and right outside the door and didn't see anything in either direction. She made a quick decision to crawl right, and ran directly into a man's booted foot.

"Jason!"

Emily heard Laren call to the man and watched his head turn. It was the distraction she needed to escape.

She wasn't fast at all, but Emily managed to get to her feet and hobble back to the box car she'd just escaped. Marko was still laid out, unmoving. Emily sunk down to her knees and searched his body for a weapon. She found a gun tucked behind his back and felt silly for not checking sooner. But she forgave herself knowing she was not at the top of her game. Emily rolled his body to one side and crouched behind his girth, hiding, and waiting.

The man named Jason came around the corner and stood in the doorway. "There is no escape for you American bitch!" he shouted in English.

With her fingers squeezed around the gun, Emily watched as three other men came to join Jason. She swore silently, realizing Laren had lied to her about the number of men under Marko's command on the train. She glanced around the cargo car again, hoping for some spark of inspiration to strike her. Emily grinned behind her unconscious captor as she formulated a plan that just might get them all killed. It was her only chance. But first she had to lure them closer. Second, she had to summon every ounce of strength possible.

Emily sat up, revealing herself.

Jason and his three thugs caught sight of her and rushed forward. They didn't spot her gun until they were upon her. Emily fired one shot, plugging Jason in the knee. His toppling weight was just enough to send the two others to the floor with him. Emily used the brief time to rush toward the door. Of course it was more like a slow shuffle as her legs remained rubbery. She was almost out the door when a hand clamped down upon her shoulder. One of the men had broken free and pushed her to the floor.

The gun broke free from her hand, skittering across the floor a short distance.

"Marko was a fool to keep you so long," the man growled, dark brows bunched together as he glared down at her and aimed his weapon on her.

A smile was her first defense, hoping to confuse him until she struck out. "You're probably right," she agreed before biting his ankle.

"You bitch!" he screeched.

She guessed it was one of the few English cuss words they knew. But Emily didn't mind as she propelled herself forward, crawling to reach her fallen gun. She shot the man before he could recover from the bite attack. Emily paid him little mind, watching as the other man came at her. She inched her way toward the door, pulled herself to a standing position and then aimed her gun and fired, once, twice. But she had not aimed for the man.

"Close the door!" a voice shouted from behind her.

Emily was in a daze as the cargo car rumbled and shook violently. She watched as someone rushed to her side and slammed the door shut. That same person tugged Emily toward the next car to further escape what she'd just done. The bright flicker of flames could be seen through the small glass window in the door as Emily glanced over her shoulder. The men's screams were short lived as her plan to ignite their alcohol stores seemed to have worked better than she could have hoped.

"What the hell did you just do?"

Still shaken from the ordeal, Emily tried to decipher the voice beside her, unsure if it was friendly or not, if she should strike out at the person or not. The conclusion she came to didn't make much sense to her already fragile mind, because it sounded a lot like… "Derek?" she whispered his name, suddenly starring into his dark eyes. The touch of his strong arms around her waist felt real, but she'd been in and out of a drug state so long she wasn't sure what was real any longer. "I was trying to create a distraction…"

"Mission accomplished," Derek almost laughed, but he was far too concerned about her, quickly surveying the situation and taking in her disheveled appearance.

Her eyes did their best to stay focused on him even though her thoughts remained scattered. "Are you really here?" she asked.

His worries doubled as he nodded and held her a bit closer, her body feeling feather light in his arms. "I am," Derek assured her.

"Was that an explosion?" a man called from behind them.

Emily heard the new voice that joined them and turned to see Easter approaching at a fast pace. She blinked several times. "A better question might be: how the heck did you two get on this train?" she asked. "And what are you doing here together?"

Derek helped her stand against a wall as they huddled in the back of the train compartment which was partially filled with seated passengers. "We boarded a half hour ago at a stop in Latvia. We've been on nearly a dozen trains the last twenty-four hours, searching for you," he explained, barely able to keep his concern at bay. "As for Easter being here, that was a bit of a surprise to me and a long story…"

Part of her wanted to ask how, why, and so many other questions. But just seeing Derek – alive, standing next to her - it was enough not to question things at the moment. Instead, she spoke just a few potent words. "I've missed you."

"Missed you, too, Jo," Morgan placed a gentle kiss against her forehead.

Easter groaned. "We have no time for this now, we need to go. The sooner the better," he insisted. "First we need to rescue Tasha from those officials and…"

"No," Emily stopped him, not certain about what all he was saying. She could only focus on one thing at the moment. "There are dozens of young women on this train headed toward a life of forced prostitution and drugs. We can't just leave them here."

"That is the last thing I want, Emily," Easter insisted. "And I've already reached out for help. But every official on this train is being paid a great deal to keep the operation silent, which means we are all in a lot of trouble right now, especially after your little explosion. There are only four of us, one of which is a translator. And you are in no condition to…"

He didn't have a chance to get the next word out when the sound of gunfire bombarded their ears. A shot pinged off the metal wall behind Easter. Passengers shrieked and dove for cover on the floor of the train. Derek shielded Emily with his body as Easter pulled his gun and looked for the source of the gunfire. It was coming from the burning car behind them, which sent the three of them racing toward the opposite door.

They were barely threw it when they ran into a familiar face.

"You found her," Tasha beamed as she joined them, unaware that someone had just shot at them.

"Natasha?" Emily knew she'd been drugged for hours, maybe even for days. But seeing Derek, Easter and now an old friend she hadn't spoken to since being a teenager, it was all rather confusing. "Is that really you, Tash?"

"It is me," the woman's smile grew.

Emily was still in a mild state of shock. "I haven't seen you since you were what, fourteen?"

"Yes, you were in London with your parents that summer before you started university," Tasha recalled. "I have grown a bit since then. I have a little girl, Elya. I had a husband for a short time. He was nice to us for a few years and then not so nice. But Elya is a dear. She and I live with Sophie in London, not far from your… place," she didn't wish to tell the woman yet that her flat had been destroyed. "I would like very much for you to meet Elya, perhaps when we return."

A slow nod came from Emily. She was still fighting the drug effects, but also regretting much about her life. "I can't believe I've been in London for so many months and never thought to look you up. I'm sorry, Tash."

Another shot was fired from behind them and Easter fired back. "Save the reunion for later, ladies!" he shouted above the gunfire.

Tasha's eyes widened with fear as she turned her attention to Derek. "I'm afraid those men I spoke with do not wish to acknowledge anything is…"

Emily didn't hear the rest. Even in her addled state she spotted a shooter in front of them, opposite the direction of where the first shots had come from and where Easter was directing his attention. Marko's men had created a distraction to surround them, and succeeded. Emily called out to alert the others as she watched the man aim at Tasha; the smart and sweet woman who she hadn't spoken to in years, and who was suddenly there helping rescue her.

Still not sure if she was stuck in a dream or real life, still moving on shaky legs, Emily did what she'd do for any friend - old or new.

She stepped in to the path of the bullet.

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	34. Playtime

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

* * *

><p><strong>Playtime<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>Emily crept in to the bathroom, snuck up on him and wrapped her arms around his waist from behind.<p>

A smile formed as he turned to give her a proper hug. "I just stepped out of the shower," Derek chuckled softly. "You couldn't wait until I'd dried off?" he teased her gently, kissing her forehead as she closed her eyes and held on tightly, not seeming to care that her robe was getting soaked. "Missed you," Derek whispered against her ear.

"Not as much as I missed you," Emily replied before pulling back a little to look him in the eye. "But what's the deal with giving me a heart attack by sneaking in without a warning call or something? It's three in the morning and I woke up to hear someone in my shower. That's not creepy at all," she gently scolded him.

He grimaced. "Sorry 'bout that. I barely had time to do anything else but work on the case while I was gone. And it was about a hundred plus degrees in Phoenix the whole time we were there. I seriously haven't showered in days. Didn't think you'd appreciate a smelly, sweaty guy in bed beside you," Morgan leaned in to kiss her again, this time on the lips.

She savored the taste of him, freshly washed, but she broke off the kiss and went to the cupboard to fetch him a clean towel. "I appreciate the gesture, but next time please give me some warning no matter how late. I could've just as easily shot you rather than hug you."

"Noted," Derek took the blue towel from her. He began to dry off, watching her eyes roam his body. It was the middle of the night and he was dead-tired after the long case and the long flight home. But the desire he saw reflected in her eyes gave him a boost of energy. "If I could read your thoughts right now they'd be very naughty," he guessed.

Emily didn't bother to hide her desire, a bold smile upturning her lips. "I've pretty much been stuck in this house for the last several days with a four-year-old who still won't talk to me and barely comes out from under her bed long enough to eat and pee. And then there's the pre-teen boy who's out of school for the summer and tells me nearly six times a day that he's bored," Emily lamented. "Seeing you naked and wet is the biggest thrill I've had in a long time, mister. You better not disappoint me."

Slowly and with purpose, Derek rubbed the towel down his broad chest. He did his best to act seductive, though he knew he already had her on the hook. The only thing cramping his style was the towel itself. He glanced at the pale blue item in his hand with curiosity. "Is it just my imagination, or is this towel a bit crunchier than a towel should be?"

"You really know how to sweet-talk a lady," Emily laughed. "I hung the laundry out to dry on the clothesline yesterday, which is why they're not as downy-soft as usual."

He nodded for a moment before he realized something. "But we don't have a clothesline," Morgan eyed her.

"We do now," Emily replied, taking the towel out of his hands and flinging it to the floor. She grasped his left hand in hers and drew him toward the bedroom. "As I said earlier, Zach has been bored. And it has been a really warm summer so far. Those two things combined prompted us to buy a clothesline and put it up in the backyard. It's just one of those aluminum ones with the single pole in the middle. Had to dig a hole for it, though, and fill it with concrete. Two days and it hasn't fallen over yet," she boasted.

"How very ambitious of you," Derek had to admit he was impressed. He was also slightly jealous that he'd missed out on the event.

She shrugged. "It got the three of us out of the house for an hour. Although getting Carly in to the car took nearly two hours of cajoling and she hated every second of being inside the hardware store. But the whole project kept Zach interested and active. It's good for him to have something outside of reading his summer away. And we talked a lot about environmental responsibility, things such as line dried clothes saving electricity," Emily concluded as she drew him toward the bed and removed her robe.

"Well," Derek breathed heavily as he admired her beautiful body. "Aren't you just the best foster mom ever, combining hard work and a valuable lesson," he admired.

Emily's brows arched as she pulled him down to the bed with her. "I'm the best at a lot of things," she whispered as their bodies easily reacquainted themselves.

xxx

"Was it a murder or a kidnaping case?" Zach asked as he sat across from Derek at the table.

Morgan watched the boy eat his cereal slowly, messy blonde hair falling over his eyes. He seemed more interested in the case than his breakfast. Derek worked on his own bowl of shredded wheat cereal, contemplating how much he should reveal to the twelve-year-old boy about the work he did. Zach knew more about death than most young kids should have to know, but that didn't mean Derek wanted to keep exposing him to it. "Actually, there was a man setting bombs around the city," he decided honestly was always best.

"So it was murder," the boy concluded. "People died?"

With a reluctant nod, Derek confirmed, "Yes, unfortunately some people did die in the bombings." He looked up to see Emily walking down the stairs with Carly at her heels. "I heard you helped Emily put up a clothesline while I was gone," Morgan quickly changed the topic, hoping Zach would follow along. Derek smiled to see Carly's dark hair clean and combed, and he noticed she was wearing the unicorn t-shirt he'd bought for her. She didn't wear anything close to a smile, though. Still silent and somber as the day they'd brought her home.

"Emily did some of the work," Zach replied. He leaned forward a little and spoke softer, for Derek's ears only. "But I did most of it."

"I bet you did, pal," Derek was glad to see the boy's confidence shine through.

Emily sunk into the chair beside Derek and kissed him before reaching for the cereal box and grabbing a handful to eat dry. "What are you boys up to this morning?" She noticed his shorts and t-shirt attire, which made her wish he could stay home all day with her, every day.

Derek smiled, admiring her even though she was only wearing yoga pants, t-shirt and had her hair pulled into a ponytail. It was nice to see her looking so relaxed. He was pleased to know that his presence had probably helped put her in that mood. "Nothing much, just eating. Did you know I peeked in the pantry this morning and found only healthy looking cereal? Not a single box of fruit loops in sight," he reported. "Same goes for the fridge contents, lots of fruit and veggies. It's like someone came in and healthified our kitchen."

"Healthified?" she rolled her eyes. "That's not a real word," Emily pointed out. "And, yes, I thought maybe we should start eating a bit healthier. This stuff is actually pretty good."

"It is," Morgan agreed as he noticed Carly had stopped on the bottom step and seemed content to stay put there. "How's she doing? Still not eating at the table?"

A shake of Emily's head came in response before she jumped up. "Not yet, I've only gotten her as far as the bottom step to eat." She grabbed a bowl and poured out a tiny amount of cereal for Carly, including milk and sliced banana. Emily sat the bowl and a spoon down on the step for Carly then she rejoined the boys at the table. "It's getting kind of late," she noted, her expression turning a bit gloomy as she spoke to Derek. "Shouldn't you be getting ready for work? Or has Hotch declared it very casual Wednesday at the office?"

"Nope, I'm taking a day off," Derek revealed. "Actually, I told Hotch I might take the rest of the week off."

"Really?" Emily's gloom faded in an instant, though she was afraid to get her hopes up too high. She knew all too well that the BAU could call him back at any time. "So, we have the day to spend together? The four of us? I don't think that's happened yet since Carly came to live with us. We should do something fun."

"Something fun at home," Morgan countered. "I've been on the road for days. I just want to chill here."

"Figures," Emily sighed. "I've been stuck at home most of the last two weeks."

Morgan felt bad. "Why don't you go out and have a day for yourself. I can stay here with the kids," he offered.

She sucked her bottom lip and glanced over at Carly who was taking her time eating, one small spoonful at a time. It was almost as if the child was worried she might never get a chance to eat again. Emily knew there had probably been many times like that for the girl, not eating for days at a time - days that had likely seemed an eternity for the little girl. "I don't think Carly's ready for that," she replied, knowing that in her heart she wasn't quite ready to let the girl out of her sight yet.

"You're probably right," Derek agreed.

Emily could hear the glum undertone of his words. "It has nothing to do with you, Derek, or your dad abilities. She's just more comfortable having me around right now."

He'd heard it several times before and he knew it was true, but it still stung a little. "I know," Derek kissed Emily's cheek.

"Besides," Emily smiled. "I don't want to leave if you're here. I want to spend some playtime with you, too."

His brows arched. "Wasn't last night enough _play_ time for you?"

"Never enough," she sealed those words with a kiss. "But I wasn't talking about that kind of _fun_."

Zach watched them for a moment as he finished a bite of cereal. "Maybe we could all play outside?" he finally spoke up with a suggestion. "The back yard stays cool in the morning with all the shade trees. And a few days ago I found a Frisbee and a football in the garage," Zach glanced at Emily real quick before he tried to speak quietly to Derek "Emily and I threw the ball around yesterday, but she catches like a girl."

"Hey, I heard that," Emily protested. "But he's right," she easily confessed.

"Yeah," Derek grinned. "But you should see her catch a bad guy," he spoke to Zach. "She was always good at that."

"You really do know how to flatter a girl," her words were dripping with sarcasm as she winked at Derek.

xxx

An hour later, after breakfast had concluded and the kitchen had been cleaned, Emily lounged in a green plastic Adirondack chair in the backyard. It was situated close to the set of French doors that led from the living room to the back patio, and well out of the path of the football throwing going on. Her vantage point was also near the doors due to the fact that Carly sat just inside the house with her nose pressed to the glass of one door. The little girl watched the outdoor activities with keen interest but had yet to venture outside.

"Nice catch," Derek called across to Zach as the boy caught a long pass.

Zach smiled as he lined his fingers up along the laces. "You threw it right to me," he replied. "I didn't have to do much."

"That's what a good quarterback does," Morgan replied. "He spots his receiver and gets the ball to him. You want to try a running pass?"

The boy nodded vigorously. "Sure," he confirmed as they began to set up the play.

Emily smiled, enjoying their interaction. She was also amused to see Clooney venture outside and curl up beside her chair. He seemed content to lay there in the shade, his ball chasing days long past. "Hiya, Clooney," she patted the old dog on the head.

Sergio was also outside in the fenced-in yard. Emily watched as the curious cat crept around the yard, wandering through the tall weeds that Emily felt bad for not pulling. Occasionally the feline would stop short in his adventure, stare at the ground for a long time and then pounce. Emily guessed it was nothing more harmful than bees and ladybugs that he was chasing. She was still watching Sergio when Zach called out to her from across the yard.

"Emily, we forgot," he said.

Her eyes narrowed and turned toward the boy. She watched Zach trot toward her with the football under one arm. Derek joined them, a concerned look marring his previously relaxed features. "Forgot what, buddy?" Emily asked, a bit worried by the boy's suddenly intense look.

Zach moved his gaze to Carly who was still behind the safety of the glass door. "When we were trying to get Carly to come home with us you said we could get her a swing, maybe one to tie on a tree branch in the backyard," he recounted. "And she came out from under the chair after that. But we haven't gotten her a swing yet. We forgot."

"You're right," Emily glanced over her shoulder to spy on Carly, wondering if the girl remembered any of that conversation. Even if she didn't Emily suddenly felt compelled to keep the promise. "We did forget. We should buy her that swing," she concluded.

"I'll go," Derek offered.

Emily stood. "No, I'll go, it was my idea. And I know you don't want to go anywhere today."

"Yeah, but Carly hates the store and she'd probably hate it even more if you went without her," Morgan reasoned. "So it makes the most sense for me to go and buy the swing."

"Can I go, too?" Zach seemed excited by the prospect of hanging out with Derek.

Morgan put a hand to the boy's shoulder. "Sure thing, pal." Derek leaned in to kiss Emily, "We won't be gone long." He and Zach took off before she could protest.

xxx

It was still early in the day by the time Derek and Zach had gotten the swing situated on a level tree branch in the backyard. Emily admired their handy work. The swing was made of a bright yellow, durable plastic. Two sturdy red ropes held it up on either side, tied securely around the tree branch. "Give it a try," Derek motioned Emily forward. "It's not just for kids, rated to three hundred pounds of weight."

Her eyes narrowed a little. "Thanks, I think," she sat on the swing and discovered it was pretty low to the ground, but realized that would make it easy for Carly to use. Emily pushed off with her feet and let the warm air breeze against her face. She was pretty sure she hadn't been on a swing since she was ten.

"Can I try?" Zach asked.

Emily got off and waved a hand at the swing. "Go for it," she offered.

Derek watched the boy stretch out his long legs. "Maybe we should've gotten a whole swing set, one for each of us," he chuckled.

She laughed but looked over her shoulder again to see Carly still sitting near the door. Her big blue eyes watched them all with careful consideration. "I think she's interested, I just wish you would act on it," Emily sighed. "But I'm not going to push her on this matter. I think some of the socializing aspects I should expose her to a little more, slowly. But I refuse to force her to have fun, or what we deem as fun," she concluded.

"No argument from me," Derek held his hands up. "I think you're right. We can only provide opportunity and let her take things from there," he agreed.

With a nod, Emily headed back toward the house. "I'm going to make some lunch."

"Healthy stuff?" Morgan asked teasingly, hoping to quell some of her obvious anxiety in regard to Carly's wellbeing.

"Turkey or peanut butter and jelly," she smiled over her shoulder, thankful of his reassuring presence.

Emily entered the house and glanced down at Carly. "How you doing, mouse? What are you in the mood for, peanut butter and jelly or turkey?" Emily knew she wouldn't get a response, but it was all a part of her plan to get the girl used to choices, which was something Emily guessed the girl had never had in her short life. "Maybe a little of both?" she offered before moving into the kitchen. "And some more banana, because I know that's a favorite."

Zach bounded into the kitchen a minute later. "I can help," he offered, grabbing some bread and the raspberry jelly jar.

"I figured you'd be out with Derek again, tossing the ball," Emily remarked as she spread mayo on some wheat bread. "I know you like having Derek around to do guy stuff with. You should enjoy it while you can, he'll have to get back to work sooner rather than later."

The boy nodded. "I know," he smeared jelly on two slices of bread. "He told me you were really good at catching bad guys. Do you miss it?"

It wasn't the conversation she'd been expecting. Emily shrugged. "Not really," she knew it wasn't an entirely truthful answer. "Maybe, a little. I mean, it's not as though I really liked catching bad guys, but it was fulfilling in its own way. I was proud of the work I did."

"Will you go back to it?" Zach asked. "I know you stopped because of Carly. And I know Carly's here mostly because I begged you take her in. But I don't want you to be mad about that decision. I could look after Carly for you," he offered.

Emily set her knife down and turned to face the boy. "Zach, I don't ever want you to think that Carly is a burden to me or Derek, or that you foisted that burden on us. And I don't want you to think of yourself as a burden either," she insisted. "I didn't plan my life this way, taking you and Carly in. But I don't regret it. I love you guys. And maybe someday I'll go back to helping catch bad guys. Maybe I won't. Either way is good with me," she concluded.

"Okay," Zach was quieter as he spread peanut butter over a slice of bread. He stopped and faced her again. "Emily, I love you, too," he quickly resumed his task, but stalled, "It's okay, right, to love you and still love my mom? You don't think it's just transference, do you?"

She wrinkled her brow. "Transference?"

"Dr. Baxter says that's what it is," Zach shrugged.

Letting him see Dr. Baxter was still a point of contention between Emily and Mrs. Dayton who claimed it mandatory. "It's perfectly okay to love us both," she assured him, hoping not to make a big deal of the issue. "No one can tell you who you can or can't love. All right?"

He nodded. "Okay."

"Emily," Derek called to her from the doorway, seeming a bit anxious.

"What?" she looked up. "Lunch is almost…"

"No," he stopped her. "Look," Derek turned and pointed toward the backyard.

They all watched as Carly walked toward the swing. She was only halfway across the yard, taking her time, carefully stepping and examining her surroundings. Emily thought it looked as if she'd never walked on grass before. That thought led her to wonder if the girl had ever left the apartment she'd been found in. Carly reached the swing and touched it with one hand. Then she pushed it, seeming to test if it was going to hurt her in some manner.

Finally she reached for the two red rope handles and managed to carefully situate herself on the swing. The girl sat there for a long time with her thin legs dangling. She'd seen the others make the swing move with their feet, but her legs weren't long enough to touch the ground. Carly looked up and around the yard, eyes darting cautiously until she settled her gaze on the house. "She needs a push," Zach realized.

The three of them abandoned the sandwiches and ventured into the backyard again. Derek and Zach instinctively hung back.

Emily strode toward the girl and smiled. "Need some help, mouse?" she asked, not worried that the girl would run off. She stood behind Carly and the swing, grasped the two ropes and slowly pulled the girl backwards. "Here we go," Emily warned.

Carly looked apprehensive for a moment until she was swinging freely.

"Now you need to pump your legs, Carly," Zach instructed as he stepped a little closer.

Derek grinned as he watched the boy try to explain the procedure to Carly, even using hand motions. He came to stand beside Emily, both of them behind the swing. They could see that Carly was holding on to the ropes with a death grip, and yet she looked more relaxed than they'd ever seen the little girl. Carly was slowing down and hadn't yet caught on to Zach's instructions. She turned her head to look at Emily and Derek, blue eyes seeming to plead her case.

"I think we should let Derek give you a push," Emily suggested, speaking calmly to the girl. "He's the best at pushing a swing."

Morgan eyed Emily, wondering where she'd come up with that conclusion. But when he saw Emily nod confidently, Derek seized the opportunity. He stepped forward a little and caught the ropes of the swing. He pulled back and watched Carly staring at him with barely masked fear behind her blue eyes. "It's okay, mouse," he used Emily's endearment for the girl. "I won't hurt you," Derek promised as he let go and sent the swing cutting through the air again.

Carly's fear faded the instant the swing was back in motion. She faced forward again and let the warm breeze engulf her.

"She likes bananas and swinging," Zach noticed. "Maybe she's not a mouse but a monkey," he chuckled.

"That could be," Emily smiled. "Are you a monkey, Carly?"

The girl looked up at Emily as a tiny sound slipped past her lips, "Mono."

They all froze, not sure if they'd actually heard the girl speak. "I think she tried to say monkey," Zach was the first to say anything.

Emily's head shook. "No, she did say monkey. Mono is the Spanish word for monkey."

"She speaks Spanish?" Morgan asked.

"I have no idea," Emily stammered, having never thought of that possibility before. "Carly, como estas?" she tried asking a fairly easy question that even a four-year-old Spanish speaker would understand. But Carly looked up at her with blank eyes. "Beuno o malo?" Emily persisted. Still Carly looked confused, and Emily really didn't want to start speaking two languages that the girl didn't understand. "Maybe saying mono really was just her way of trying to say monkey," she shrugged.

Morgan placed a hand against the small of Emily's back. "It's still a huge step," he insisted. "The first sound from her that hasn't been a scream."

She couldn't help smile at that reasoning. "True."

Derek kissed her cheek. "Por el amor de monos," he whispered.

Emily wore an amused, but curious, look. "What were you trying to say?"

"I love you more than monkeys," he grinned.

"Actually, you said something more like: for the love of monkeys," she chuckled.

He laughed along with her, a shrug raising his shoulders. "Guess I'll need to work on my Spanish if Carly's speaking it."

"You're a good daddy, Derek Morgan," Emily clung to his arm. She was pretty sure she couldn't love him any more than she did at that moment.

A few minutes later, as Zach gave Carly a third push, they all marveled at the small smile that formed on the girl's face. Derek looked to Emily and noticed the moisture welled in her eyes. "Don't cry," he whispered. "This is a good thing. She's playing. She's enjoying herself," Derek pointed out.

"I know," she sniffed. "I'm just so proud of her. I couldn't be any prouder if she was my kid."

"But she is your kid," Morgan countered as he watched Carly swing her legs a little, clearly trying to follow Zach's instructions. "I'm willing to bet that smile is only on her face right now because these past few weeks of her life have probably been the best. And that's in large part due to you, Em," he stated.

"And you, and Zach," she added. "I couldn't have done any of it without knowing I had your support. I never would have taken her in without you to back me up," Emily looked to Carly again and she smiled as well, her tears quickly disappearing and pride swelling "I told Zach that someday I might go back to chasing bad guys," she revealed to Derek. "But this moment is a heck of a lot more rewarding than catching criminals."

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	35. Curse

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

**Note: I miss Emily... and spoilers for the newest episode of CM.**

* * *

><p><strong>Curse<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>"Happy Halloween, Emily."<p>

"What?" Emily groaned her response as she reached over to flick on the lamp beside her bed. She hadn't bothered to even open her eyes when she'd answered the cell phone, groping blindly at the buttons. An early morning wakeup call usually meant one thing; work. Sitting up, Emily took a moment to let the voice on the line sink into her memory banks. "Derek? You do realize its five o'clock in the morning here, the day after Halloween."

He sucked in a breath. "Sorry 'bout that. Honestly, it completely slipped my mind."

She yawned as her eyes adjusted to the darkness of her bedroom. "Or you'd just made so many other calls to the women in your little black book that you didn't even bother to think about what time it might be here," Emily quipped. "What's the matter, Morgan, no Halloween honey to snuggle with?"

"You wound me, you know," Derek did his best to sound hurt by her comment.

"I only speak the truth," she maintained.

Derek scoffed. "Think you know me so well, do you?"

"Yes," Emily didn't hesitate to answer. "So…" she attempted to cover her sudden unease of the topic. "How are you occupying your Halloween? Any trick-or-treaters? Halloween isn't much of a celebration here. Not like in the states."

"There were a few kids earlier. Now I'm just watching some crap movie called Curse of the Demented… I don't know… Werewolf or Vampire… maybe. Not really sure."

"It's that finely honed knack for details that has made you such a fabulous profiler," Emily teased. "I thought you hated Halloween. Why are you calling to wish me a happy one?" she was more than a little curious. "Has it really gotten that lonely over there without me?"

"You have no idea," Derek whispered. "I mean…" he tried to cover, wondering why he'd turned so wistful all of a sudden. He'd been flying solo just fine all his life. But Emily had changed everything somehow, and without even trying. "The new agent is starting to fit in, sort of," he relented, not wanting her to think she'd made a mistake by leaving the team to take her job in England. "And earlier tonight JJ convinced Henry to go trick-or-treating. He even dressed up like Reid. You should have seen it, cutest thing ever."

Emily laughed, more so to hear Derek gush over little Henry. "There better be pictures on JJ's Facebook."

"I'm sure," he said.

"Doesn't sound too lonely there after all," she pointed out, lamenting her lack of a social life at the same time.

"Nah, I guess not. And I've always got Garcia to keep me sane."

"You mean to keep you full of yourself," Emily corrected.

He chuckled. "Yeah, you could be right about that one," Derek admitted.

The connection between them fell silent for a long time after that. Emily laid there in her bed trying not to think about the work awaiting her in a few hours. She could hear the sound of his TV over the phone and knew he hadn't hung up on her. The sudden desire to be there with him watching a bad Halloween themed movie swept over her without warning. It was such an unwarranted and utterly ridiculous notion. They'd always been just good friends over the years. "What's really going on with you, Morgan?"

"Do you ever wonder if you've made a horrible mistake in your life?" he posed.

"Sure, all the time, especially after every conversation I've ever had with my mother," Emily replied with a snort of sarcasm. "But thankfully the feeling usually passes." She knew that wasn't the entire truth of it, though. "Except when I think about how I lied to all of you last year about being dead," her voice turned remorseful. "That one mistake still nags at me all the time," she let him know.

"That wasn't a mistake, Emily," he assured her. "That lie saved your life and I'll never be upset at you for it because of that fact." Derek took a deep breath. "I was actually just sitting here tonight, after calling several women in my little black book," he admitted. "And I was wondering… wondering why I've never told you how much you mean to me."

Emily was tempted to pinch herself at that moment; sure she must have lapsed into some sort of dream. But the background noise from his crappy Halloween flick continued to sound in her ear even as Derek went silent again. "Well…" she paused, somewhat uncertain about the move she was about to make. "I'm listening right now."

"Not over the phone," he sighed. "If I'm finally going to be man enough to tell you my feelings for you, it has to be done in person."

"Oh," Emily had no idea what else to say.

"We just finished a case," he filled the line again. "And we've been kicking it pretty hard in recent months. I was thinking maybe I could take some time off, maybe 'round the Thanksgiving holiday. I know Garcia and I were there during the summer, but…" it seemed like so much longer ago than just a few months since he'd last seen her.

"Derek, you can visit any time," she offered.

Morgan held his breath for a second, contemplating the next thing to say. He'd never had trouble talking to any woman other than Emily Prentiss. "And when I do visit - when I tell you all the things I've been a fool not to say until now - what do you think you'll have to say in return?"

She bit her lip, knowing how much courage it was probably taking him just to talk around the issue. "I have no idea," Emily replied as honestly as she could.

"Fair enough," Derek was content with that answer, because it wasn't negative. "I guess there's only one way to find out."

"Book a flight," she responded.

"Yeah, book a flight," he agreed. "I suppose I should let you get back to sleep."

"And I certainly wouldn't want to keep you from your movie any longer. You'll be sure to give me details about it when you visit, right?" Emily teased. "And fill me in on everything happening at the BAU," she turned serious again. "Especially why a certain Dr. Reid has been so secretive lately when he calls me."

"I'd like that. A good long chat, face to face."

"So would I."

He honestly didn't want to end the call, hanging on to the sensation that she might just be feeling the same way he was at the moment. But he decided to have faith that their conversation would continue soon. In person. "Happy first day of November, Emily."

"Happy Halloween, Derek."

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	36. Storm

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

**Thank you all for your kind responses to the last part, I really wasn't expecting that. I'll do my best to get back to the London series' I've got going, but all I have to offer at the moment is a little more of the Derek/Emily as foster parents series...**

* * *

><p><strong>Storm<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>A flash of lightning filled the room, causing shadows to dance across their bed.<p>

Emily turned and snuggled against the warm body beside her. Her arm flopped over his side, fingertips gently massaging his muscled chest. "You asleep?" she whispered as another bright flicker of lightning illuminated his face. It was silent for a moment before a downpour started almost instantly. Emily listened to the rain as it fell, fat wet drops pelting the roof above them. "Derek, you can't be sleeping through this."

"I was trying," he groaned, stretching his arms and legs before curling into Emily. His lips brushed the top of her head. "What's up? Don't like thunder storms?"

She smiled. "Nah, it's not the storm. I've just missed you."

Derek was touched. He moved his body so he could better kiss her. Their lips met softly, lovingly. "I spent all day with you today. You sure everything's okay?" he pulled back to regard her. The room was mostly dark aside from the occasional lighting flash, but he thought she looked a little paler than usual. And there were slightly dark circles under her eyes. "The kids haven't been too much trouble for you, have they?"

"No, they've been real good actually," Emily conveyed. "They do tire me out a bit, but I figure if I can chase down and subdue UnSubs then I can handle a few rugrats. Of course I'm out of practice with the bad guys. Speaking of which, you didn't mention much about this last case you were on."

He sighed, resting his head against hers. "I don't want to talk about work. I miss out on so much around here by being away at work," Morgan lamented. "Being able to spend some time with you and Zach and Carly today was such a luxury. The way Carly's eating so well and eating closer to the table, she's made a ton of progress in a week. And I missed all of it. No wonder she hasn't warmed much to me."

"You better learn how to get over it," Emily replied.

"Excuse me?" he was a little taken aback by her somewhat insensitive response.

Biting her lip, Emily genuinely felt bad for her flip comment. "I didn't mean that to sound cruel. I hope you know that. I understand you want to be a good foster parent to Zach and Carly. You shouldn't worry, because you already are. But the way things have worked out is that I gave up the BAU and you didn't. One of us has to work and for the time being that's going to be you, which unfortunately means you're going to miss out on stuff."

"So I have to be happy with the time I do get to spend with them and you, and learn not to regret the time I miss out on," Derek sighed is resignation.

"You got it, bub," Emily quipped before she gave him a long, appreciative kiss. "You know I love you for being the bread winner of this partnership, right?"

"That the only reason you love me?" he asked.

"Um…" she pretender to think about it for a moment.

Derek grabbed her under the arms and flipped her onto her back, tickling her at first until their lips met again. Their union quickly transitioned from playful to erotic in a manner of seconds. Another lightning flash made their room feel like mid-day. This time a clap of thunder sounded just a few seconds later, shaking the house. Three more lightning and thunder duets occurred in swift succession. And the rain continued to pelt the earth as Emily and Derek tore at each other's clothing.

Lightning struck again, filling the room. This time Emily nearly jumped out of her skin, unfortunately not due to Derek's ministrations, but rather to the fact that Carly had appeared in their doorway. When the thunder boomed overhead, the little girl moved from the doorway to the edge of the bed. Emily reluctantly pushed Derek aside, but he came back for her, not even seeing the child. "Hey, grabby hands… kiddo alert," Emily finally said with a last push to his shoulder.

She thought she heard a muffled "damn" before his body recoiled.

"Hey, Carly," Emily straightened her sleep attire and smiled at the girl. "Did the storm wake you?"

Carly nodded and stayed put next to the bed.

"You wanna climb in here between us, mouse?" Emily offered.

The girl aimed her eyes past Emily. She watched Derek with the same mixture of curiosity and wariness. "Come here," Morgan said to Emily as he gently pulled her next to him. "She can sleep on the outside of the bed next to you," he offered.

Clearly okay with that plan, Carly scrambled up into the big bed. She seemed to shed all of her inhibitions as she buried herself beneath the covers and pressed in close beside Emily. With a few strokes of the girl's hair, Emily sensed that Carly had fallen asleep almost immediately. Derek spooned up behind her, his chin resting against her shoulder. "She's grown to trust you a great deal," he whispered in Emily's ear while watching the girl sleep.

"I hope she'll trust us both soon," Emily murmured sleepily. She couldn't remember falling asleep, but she was woken awhile later. Not by the summer thunder storm that was still ragging outside. But by the panicky cries of the little girl tucked under her arm. "Carly?" she called softly to the child. The way Carly shuddered but didn't reply told Emily that she was trapped in a bad dream. "Hey, mouse… wake up now, sweetie," Emily gently prodded.

"No, daddy…" Carly cried out. "Stop."

They were the first real words Emily had ever heard the girl speak, and they broke her heart. "Wake her up, Em," Derek spoke from behind her.

It was easy for Emily to detect the tremble of heartache in his voice as well. "Carly…"

"Stop it, daddy," the girl grew louder. "No hurt. No hurt!"

Emily hated to do it, but she resorted to physically shaking the girl to wake her up. And wake she did. Carly jolted, fists flying. Emily narrowly escaped a black eye as she gently clasped the girl's wrists. "It's okay, baby," she whispered. "You're okay now." Emily wasn't able to stop the tear that ran down her cheek as she cradled Carly in her arms. "I've got you, mouse," she continued to assure the child. "I've got you."

Derek kissed Emily's shoulder, doing his best not to jump up and hit the wall. Thankfully the thunder rolled on, allowing him to vicariously emit his anger with each loud crack of the storm. "She better?" he asked after a few quiet minutes had passed.

"A little," Emily whispered, still feeling the girl shake in her arms.

"That never happened before," Derek let out a shaky breath. He knew all too well what those nightmares were like.

"I'm guessing it's the storm," Emily placed a small reassuring kiss against Carly's cheek. She was grateful beyond words that the girl had grown comfortable enough with her to allow such closeness. It made her feel a little less helpless being able to calm and comfort the girl. "What if Carly's step-father used the cover of storms?"

Morgan frowned. "What do you mean?"

"To cover his really hard beatings and… and whatever else he did to her," Emily shuddered, but was warmed by Derek's body still pressed against hers. "What if he used the noise of a thunder storm to cover up the sounds of his abuse?"

His stomach tightened knowing it was possible, especially after what they'd just witnessed. "That was pretty horrible," Derek whispered against her neck. "But I think it might have helped her," he sighed, "To dream it and to wake from it knowing she was safe here with you."

"With us," Emily countered.

He nodded. "With us."

A loud crack sounded from across the room. But it wasn't from the thunder storm. Derek looked up to see their bedroom door slammed against the wall as Zach rushed full throttle toward the bed. "Hey, pal… slow down…"

"Derek, I need you!" the boy screeched.

"You have a bad dream, too?" Morgan sat up to greet the boy at the side of the bed.

"No, it's Clooney," Zach was nearly breathless as he reached Derek. "I think he's real sick," the boy gasped. "I'm not even sure if he's breathing. You have to come now," Zach tugged at his arm. "He's in my room, come on!"

Morgan was on his feet in an instant. He dashed out the door without a second thought.

Emily was left to comfort Carly, but not for long before Derek returned. "Zach's right," he wore a troubled look. "I can't find any kind of pulse on Clooney. There's, uh… an all-night vet clinic a few blocks from here. I think I should…"

"Take him," she insisted, hearing the sorrow beneath his tone.

"Pretty sure Zach will want to go with me," Derek said as he leaned down to kiss her. "I'll call you when I know something."

She nodded, watching him retreat as another low rumble of thunder boomed.

xxx

The digital clock glared at her as she lay there with Carly curled in her arms. Thankfully the girl had fallen asleep again. And the storm had all but died out. But it had been over two hours since Derek and Zach had left to take Clooney to the clinic, and there'd been no phone call. Emily was about to grab her cell off the nightstand when the bedroom door opened and Derek slipped inside. She watched him as he silently shed his wet shoes and sweatshirt.

Derek slid into bed and wrapped his arms about her waist.

"What happened?" she barely managed the whisper; already sure of what he was going to say.

"He didn't make it," Morgan confirmed. "Heart attack, massive," he did his best to keep his emotions in check. "He was dead long before we got him to the clinic," Derek concluded.

Her hand squeezed his. "I'm so sorry."

Even in the dark he could see the look of guilt flash in her eyes. Derek knew what she was feeling, the same as he was. Clooney had just been outside with them earlier in the day, basking in the sunshine. Neither of them had sensed anything wrong. "It was just his time, Em. I took him to the vet two weeks ago and, other than natural wear and tear, they gave him a good bill of health," Derek closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against her shoulder. "Zach is crushed, he really did love that old guy," his head shook sorrowfully.

"I should probably go check on him," Emily made a move to get up.

Morgan placed a firm but gentle hand against her shoulder, his other arm clutched slightly tighter about her waist. "Stay here with me, please," he insisted. "Zach fell asleep on the drive home. Cried his self to sleep. I carried him up to bed. Let him be for now. We should all get some sleep."

Emily nodded. "You okay?"

"I will be," Derek kissed her neck.

"Hell of a night," she breathed out, closed her eyes and tried to let sleep return.

"Understatement of the year, Em," he held her a little closer. "But no one ever promised this would be easy."

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	37. Outing

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

**Thank you all for your reviews, they are always very much appreciated!**

* * *

><p><strong>Outing<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>Emily was so engrossed in helping Carly that she didn't want to answer her ringing cell phone, until she looked to see who the caller was.<p>

"Hey," she answered. "Where are you?"

"On a jet traveling east," Derek replied.

She could hear the lightness in his voice and was glad of it. "Any chance it will be landing in the DC area?"

"Pretty good probability," Morgan confirmed. "I have a few reports to get done when we return to Quantico, but I should be home for dinner. Any chance you and the kids will be available to share a meal with me?"

"I'd say that's a pretty likely probability," she echoed his sentiment.

He sighed contentedly. "You busy right now? Or can you talk for a while? Reid, JJ and Rossi have got a serious card game going and Hotch is actually resting."

"Ah, so I'm a consolation prize?" Emily pretended to be upset, but only for a moment. "Actually, I'm working with Carly. We've been doing some drawing therapy the last few days, which I'm sorry I didn't think of sooner. Some of her stuff so far is pretty messy, angry. I think that's a good thing. She really turned a corner four weeks ago when she had that nightmare. I hope she's finally starting to get things out of her system. Better than her progress with Dr. Young."

"Dr. Young may still be doing some good," Derek interjected lightly, knowing the kids' therapy remained a small point of contention with her. "Can I listen in on your work with Carly?"

"Sure," Emily sat the cell on the table and pressed the speaker button. She glanced at the drawing Carly was working on. "What's this large red area, Carly? Is it an apple tree?" The girl shook her head, but Emily knew Derek couldn't see a headshake so she used words to help him understand. "No, so what is it?" she asked. "Is that you being mad?" Emily smiled at the response she received. "She's nodding," Emily let Derek know. "That's good, mouse. I'm glad you're letting your anger out."

"What else is on the drawing?" Derek asked.

Emily noticed the way Carly turned toward the sound of his voice. The girl was ever curious about Derek, but she returned to concentrate on her drawing. She pointed to the other side of the artwork, which was brown, green and yellow. "Tree, swing," Carly spoke softly, looking up at Emily.

"Did you hear that?" Emily directed her question toward the phone.

"I did," Morgan's voice held a note of excitement. "She answered me." He wasted no time continuing the conversation with the girl. "Do you like to swing, Carly? Does that help you get some of your anger out?" Derek wondered.

Carly nodded as she once again stared curiously at the phone.

Emily translated the nod and added, "Do you want Derek to come home and push you on the swing?"

"I'm sure that's a big no," Derek responded.

"Actually, it was a shrug," Emily delicately informed him. "Carly, would you like me to push you on the swing?"

"Yes," the girl's eyes widened at the suggestion.

Derek sighed. "Well, we already know she likes you better."

"I can't help that I'm likeable. And you really shouldn't be jealous of a four year old," Emily tried to ease his bruised ego.

"I'm not," Morgan insisted. "Besides, I'm secure in the knowledge that you like me best."

Her eyes rolled, "In your dreams, buddy."

"Every night," his voice turned deeper.

Emily quickly snatched up the cell phone and turned off the speaker feature. "Okay, mister, before this conversation turns X-rated in front of the children…"

"Sorry," Morgan took a deep breath before asking the next question on his mind. "How's Zach doing? He barely said good-bye to me three days ago when I left for California. I thought things were getting a little better after we spread Clooney's ashes in the back yard, but…"

"He has good days and bad ones," Emily relayed. "This morning he's curled up in the living room reading, but I was thinking I might try to get him to do something with me today. Not sure what yet," she admitted. "I hate to say this, but I'm really looking forward to summer being over so he can get back to school," Emily looked over her shoulder, hoping the pre-teen couldn't hear her. "I love him, Derek. I'm just not sure if he's ever coming out of this funk."

"It's more than a funk, Em. He's lost a lot this year. It's just gonna take…"

"Time," she finished for him. "I really hope so. It just feels like for every step forward that Carly takes, Zack takes one backward. It'd be nice to have them both moving forward," Emily sighed. "Hey, I gotta go," she swiftly changed her tone. "Carly's tugging on me and pointing toward the backyard."

Derek grinned. "Time to follow through on your swing promises," he guessed. "I'll see you soon."

"See you soon," Emily agreed before ending the call.

She took Carly by the hand and allowed the girl to guide her outside into the back yard, or pull to be exact. The summer sun was already blazing and it wasn't even noon yet. Emily happily pushed Carly for close to thirty minutes before returning to the house, worried about Zach. She found him exactly as she'd last seen him earlier in the morning, still in his PJs and huddled in a chair with Derek's old copy of _The Outsiders_ gripped in one hand. The boy wasn't the only one in the room, though. He wasn't the only one still grieving either as Emily noticed Sergio curled up on the sofa where Clooney used to reign. She had a feeling the cat might be depressed as well.

Emily settled beside the inky black feline and stroked a hand down his spin. "How you doing, Serg?" she asked in a soft voice. "You're missing your old pal, Clooney, aren't you?" Emily spoke to the cat, but could see Zach slightly interested in the conversation. "You know he wouldn't want you to mope around like this."

Zach shook his head and dropped his book. "I'm not stupid, you know."

Emily looked up. "I know."

He watched her stony face and kind of hated how little parents gave away. "You're talking to Sergio, but you're really meaning to tell me what you tell him. The stuff about Clooney not wanting us to mope around and miss him," the boy guessed.

"You're right," Emily grinned. "You're not stupid. But I also believe Sergio here is depressed. He and Clooney took a long time to come to an understanding, and then the old guy was gone by the time they really became friends."

"Kind of like me and Clooney, too," Zach noted, "At least the part about not having much time together."

She nodded. "I think we should do something for Sergio," Emily thought. "I need to get him some food, maybe we should all go the pet store and pick him out a treat. See if we can cheer him up," she suggested. Emily watched the boy shrug non-committal. "Derek will be home for dinner. After the pet store we can swing by the grocery store and get something special for our meal. Maybe even a dessert."

Again Zach only shrugged. But Emily wasn't taking no for an answer. "Come on," she stood and grabbed Zach's hand. "Let's go. We are not sitting around all day wallowing again," she pulled him to his feet and gently shoved him toward the stairs. "Go change."

xxx

The entry chime on the door jingled as Emily ushered Zach and Carly inside. Glorious air conditioning was the first thing to greet them.

Second to greet them was a young man Emily recognized from her many trips to the store. It was part store, part boarding kennel and even part animal shelter for the rescued and abused dogs and cats of the DC area. "Hiya, James," Emily greeted the young man.

"Hey," James responded. "We just got a new shipment in of the cat food you like," he led them down the third aisle to their left.

Carly stayed latched to Emily's right side, away from James while the young employee grabbed a medium sized blue bag. "Just one for you today?" he asked and received a nod. "I can grab a bag of the dog food, too. It's over by the register. On special this week."

"Um," Emily looked to Zach who had his eyes planted on the floor. "Actually, our dog passed away. It's been a month now."

James sucked in a breath. "I'm real sorry." He looked around for a second. "So, just the cat food then?"

"Yes, please. We're going to look for some cat treats before we pay," Emily said with a smile as she guided the kids toward the next aisle over which was dedicated to every cat item known to man, from beds to toys.

Zach scanned the items for a short time before he pulled a small package off the display wall. "Here, Sergio likes the catnip mice best."

"He does, indeed," Emily agreed, taking the package from him. Zach had only lived with them for a handful of months but he was already deeply entrenched in their lives, not to mention their hearts. And it broke hers to see him so sad. She looked down at the little girl still glued to her side. "Do you want to look at some of the animals, Carly?"

"Mono?" the girl inquired.

"Sorry, no monkeys here, just dogs and cats," Emily was still curious about the child's use of the Spanish word for monkey. But more than anything she was just glad to have the girl responding to direct questions. "We should plan a trip to the zoo. Maybe if we go early in the morning we can avoid the large crowds," Emily understood that big groups of people were still something that made Carly uncomfortable.

The three of them ventured to the adjacent space to the left where the shelter animals resided. Long rows of cages filled the area.

Dogs began to bark, yip and whine the moment they caught whiff of the three humans. Their tails wagged and they pressed their snouts as close to their cage confines as possible, all of them vying for attention. Emily's heart swelled a bit to see all the needy animals. If it were in her power she'd give them all a home. She did her best to give a pat or stroke to as many four legged friends as she could. Carly stayed close, not warming to any of the animals until she spotted a tiny brown puppy curled up in the corner of one kennel.

"Are you looking for a dog?" a soft breathy voice greeted them.

Emily and Zach turned to see a young girl slowly rolling toward them in a wheelchair.

The chair was huge, black and chrome, old and squeaky. It dwarfed the child. And the girl was clearly giving it her all just to guide the contraption down the narrow aisle. Her hair was dark and limp, but her green eyes sparkled with interest as she spoke to them. "My name is Kate," her pale pink lips curled in a friendly smile. "If you tell me what kind of dog you're looking for I can help. I know all the animals here. I volunteer lots. I get to clean cages, groom and feed," she proudly pronounced.

"How come you're in a wheelchair?" was the first thing out of Zach's voice.

"Zachary," Emily admonished. "That's not polite."

The girl shrugged. "It's okay." She lightly slapped her hands against the armrests. "Gets me around this place real fast."

"Oh," Zach responded. "So you're not like paralyzed or something?"

"Zach," Emily glared at the boy.

Kate chuckled a moment but stopped to catch her breath. "Truth is I was born with a real bad heart. It probably won't last much longer. I might live to see the New Year, but it's a pretty sure bet that I won't get to celebrate my tenth birthday in May," she revealed. "Of course doctors said I'd never live to be a year old and I proved them wrong."

"You're dying?" Zach stood there with his mouth hanging open, not sure what else to say.

Emily placed a comforting hand against the boy's back.

"Yep," Kate seemed unperturbed by the sympathy in their eyes. "That fact usually puts an end to my conversations," she went on. "I have a bad heart. It's how I was born. If I could find a new one I could get a transplant, but hearts are difficult to come by. Usually means someone else has to die and I'd hate to wish someone dead so I can live," she paused. "Sorry, I've been told I talk a lot. Everyone at the group home gets annoyed with me so I tend to latch on to anyone that'll listen. I'll leave you alone now, unless I can help you find a dog?"

Zach covered his discomfort with irritation. "We don't want a new dog," he growled. "We had the best dog but he's dead now. You can't replace a best friend."

"You're right," Kate agreed. "I had a best friend at the group home but she got adopted and I don't know where she went. Lots of kids at the group home get adopted, but a lot don't. I won't ever get adopted because of my illness," she rattled on. "Can I show you all something?" Kate asked as she unlatched the door on the tiny brown dog's kennel. "There's someone I'd really like you to meet," she rolled closer to the cage and pulled the pup out. "I call him Charlie…" the dog curled in her lap.

"Because he's a chocolate lab," Zach guessed. "Charlie and the chocolate factory…"

"No," Kate looked up and locked eyes with the boy. "I named him in honor of Charles Lindberg. I want to learn how to fly, be a pilot someday."

"Oh," Zach felt stumped, trying to reconcile the contradiction of her freely telling them she was going to die soon and wanting to learn how to be a pilot someday.

Emily watched the two kids interact; Kate, slight and frail, but being forward and bold. While Zach remained his usual shy and quiet self.

Kate smiled as she grabbed Zach's hand and placed his palm against the puppy's back. "Charlie's mom gave birth to five still-born pups and him just before she died," the girl informed them. "Charlie here is an orphan," she met Zach's eyes again. "He won't be ready for adoption for another few weeks, but I can put your name on the list for him. There's no one else on it, no one has been interested because he's very sickly. But I think he's going to be fine. He's a survivor. Like me. And you."

Zach yanked his hand away. "I don't want another dog. No one can replace Clooney," he told the girl.

"But you'll make room in your heart for Charlie, too," Kate said. "I know you will. And so will your sister," she tossed a smile at Carly. "And your mom," Kate flashed an equally warm grin up at Emily.

"Carly isn't my sister," Zach replied. "And Emily is my foster mom."

"A mom is a mom," Kate countered. "You should be happy to have one."

"You about ready to go, Zach?" Emily wasn't sure if the boy needed rescuing or not. She was actually very intrigued by the girl's manner in regard to Zach's feelings. "We need to get groceries, maybe something special for Derek, remember?"

He nodded, still watching Kate as she put the puppy back in his cage and closed the door. "Derek is my foster dad; he'll be home from work tonight," Zack explained. "He's an FBI agent and is usually gone for several days at a time. He likes ice cream," Zach looked to Emily. "Can we get pizza and ice cream at the store? Derek likes pizza and ice cream," his attention turned back to Kate. "Do you like ice cream?"

"Who doesn't?" the girl nodded. "But it's not good for me. I eat Jell-O usually, sugar free. Sometimes we'll get fruit juice popsicles. Healthier for my heart. I'm supposed to eat lots of fruit and veggies but everything they serve at the group home is just mushy. I'm not ever sure what it is."

"I'm pretty sure it's you who likes pizza and ice cream, kiddo." Emily elbowed him gently.

"Nice try," Kate whispered to Zach.

Emily smiled at their interaction. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Kate," she said before ushering Zach and Carly toward the exit.

"I'll see you again," Kate called after them with confidence.

xxx

It was quiet at the dinner table.

Zach pushed his mashed potatoes and veggies around the plate in an attempt to make it look like he was actually eating them. Emily swallowed a few bites but wasn't terribly interested in her food either. Carly sat on the bottom step across the room, slowly nibbling on her chunks of pork chop. Derek was the only one eating with any sort of genuine desire, plowing through his meal as he spoke. "This is really good, Em. You made this?" he asked with a degree of skepticism.

She gave him a weak smile. "Yes, don't look so surprised."

"You have no idea how good this tastes after three days of take-out and bad police station coffee," he chewed another forkful of potatoes. "Don't get me wrong, the San Diego police department was good to us and all, but nothing beats a home cooked meal."

"You're going to die," Zach said.

Derek's gleeful meal was immediately stalled as he looked up from his plate, eyes moving from Emily to Zach. "Excuse me?"

The boy didn't look up as he spoke. "We met a girl at the animal rescue store-shelter place. She told us she'll be dead soon. Everyone dies, at least everyone I know or meet. Just like my parents, and Clooney, now Kate," he lamented. Finally his eyes rose to regard the adults. "You'll both die, too."

"That's true," Derek didn't deny Zach's statement. "Someday Emily and I will die, but I'm pretty certain it won't be for a long time. I plan to be around to see you graduate. Watch you get married and have kids of your own."

A piece of lettuce was poked at as Zach regarded his food with little interest. "You probably won't keep me around that long. And even if you did you don't know when you'll die. You could be shot and killed at work tomorrow," he said.

Morgan took a deep breath as he swallowed a bite. "I could," he agreed with the boy again. "But I do my best to stay safe at work. You know I wear a vest every time I go out into the field. I'd never risk my life needlessly. And the job I do is important. I do it to help save lives."

"What about your head?" Zach wasn't ready to stop yet. "Bullets go through brains, not just chests," he stated.

Emily sighed. "Zach, I don't think we should keep talking about this in front of Carly," she warned.

He stabbed aimlessly at the pork chop on his plate. "Carly already knows plenty about death," Zach replied to her counsel. "I know she stayed in her apartment with a dead body for days. She was probably glad her step-dad was dead so she never told anyone."

"Zachary!" Emily's voice rose, her fork clanging as it dropped onto the plate.

Carly shot up the stairs, kicking over her tray of food in the process.

"She can understand everything you say, pal," Derek shook his head.

"I'm sorry," Zach's remorse was instant and genuine.

"You can contemplate your crime from your bedroom," Emily calmed a little, more disappointed than angry at the boy. "You'll be confined there for the rest of the night, after you clean your plate and clean up Carly's mess as well," she declared. "Now," Emily concluded.

The boy hung his head as he picked up his plate and walked it into the kitchen.

xxx

"Carly is still hiding beneath her bed," Emily relayed as she reentered the kitchen and placed the last pot into the dishwasher.

Derek added the detergent packet, closed the door and started the wash cycle. His arms snaked around her waist, pulling her close as he leaned against the kitchen counter. The window above the sink showed an evening summer sky, still clear and blue. Emily rested her head against his shoulder and let out a sigh. "You okay?" Morgan inquired. "This parent thing sure is keeping us on our toes these days," he chuckled softly.

"As upset as I am that Carly's licking her wounds, I feel so bad for yelling at Zach," Emily revealed.

"You hardly yelled at him," Derek kissed her forehead as reassurance. "He was out of line to say those things at all, let alone right in front of Carly. I know he's got some anger issues but that was really cruel. An evening alone in his room is fair punishment."

"Except he's got books in his room," she pointed out. "Not much of a punishment for him at all unless I remove the books, and I don't have the energy to make that effort."

"Don't be so hard on yourself," his hands tenderly massaged her shoulders for a few moments until they strayed upward to the base of her neck. Derek's fingers caressed her slender neck as he drew her lips toward his. "Maybe we could move this upstairs," he whispered against her ear. "It's been over a week."

With her eyes still closed, Emily smiled as she languished in the gentle touch of his hands and lips. "If I don't have the energy to move books, I sure don't have the energy for what's going on in your head. I'm afraid if we get anywhere near our bed I will fall asleep before anything torrid can occur. It's been a very long day."

"And it's hardly over. It's only seven-thirty, Em."

"Yeah, well my day started at about five am when Carly woke me, tugged at my arm until I got up, followed her downstairs and peeled a banana for her," Emily recalled. "And I worked with her on her drawing therapy. Then there was me trying to cheer Zach up. Me trying to cheer up Sergio. Running half a dozen errands with kids. And taking care of my man with a home cooked meal," she chuckled. "I could sleep for a whole week."

"Not so promising for me," Derek lamented. "But if it is sleep you desire then it is sleep you shall have," he took her hand and guided her up the stairs.

They'd barely made a move toward their bedroom when Emily heard Zach's voice coming from Carly's room. She looked to Derek and put a finger to her lips as they crept toward the girl's bedroom. They found Zach lying on his belly by the bed. Emily resisted the urge to enforce his punishment as she silently listened in on the one-sided conversation between the children. "I'm really sorry, mouse," Zach sighed.

"That stuff I said was real stupid. I didn't mean it, about you and your step-dad. I don't know what he did to you Carly, but I know it was bad. You can tell me if you want. I'm pretty good at listening, better at listening than talking. I usually just get my words all wrong and upset people."

Biting her lip, Emily's heart ached as the boy spoke.

"I want to be a good son, and a good brother to you," Zach continued, "So Derek and Emily won't send me away. But I don't know if I'll ever be good at anything. I think I might be a curse to families. To my real parents, and now Derek and Emily."

Emily took a step toward the boy, but Derek stopped her.

"Maybe you could help me, Carly?" Zach asked of the little girl. "Maybe we could help each other. We could talk to each other about this stuff so Derek and Emily don't have to deal with all of it." He sighed. "I don't know, maybe that's dumb," Zach shrugged.

Zach grew quiet. Derek and Emily remained at the door out of the way.

Minutes passed before Carly crawled forward. She poked her head out, remaining on her belly as she faced Zach. Another several minutes passed in complete silence. Then the girl reached a hand out and gently placed it atop Zach's larger hand. "I'm sorry, Carly," the boy apologized again.

"I think she forgives you," Emily announced her presence, comforted by the two kids with their hands touching.

Carly shimmied out from beneath her bed the rest of the way and latched onto Emily.

"I think you've had a long day, too, mouse," Emily kissed the top of the girl's head, warmed by the closeness Carly was allowing more and more. "Let's get PJs on for bed," she shooed the girl toward her dresser. Emily's eyes leveled on Zach as he stood. "Bed for you, too."

He nodded and slunk out of the room.

It only took Emily a few minutes to get Carly in her pajamas and into bed. Her blue eyes closed the moment her head hit the pillow. Emily stayed with her for a while longer; making sure the girl was sleeping soundly, hoping her very presence could ward off the child's bad dreams. When her own eyes began to droop, Emily left the room, leaving the door open a crack. She moved down the hall and overheard Derek and Zack in the boy's room.

"What's bugging you, pal?" Derek asked.

Zach crossed his arms over his chest. "Lots of stuff. Everything. Some days are okay and some… aren't. I try to move forward but it's hard, Derek. It just doesn't seem fair for good people to die. I know my dad did bad stuff and I guess his death was meant to be, but why my mom? And why Clooney?" his voice quaked. "And now a nine year old girl who spends her free time taking care of stray dogs. Why does she have to die, too? She let me hold this little puppy and she was so gentle with him. I just don't understand."

Derek's head shook as he glanced over to see Emily standing in the doorway. "I don't have any answers for you, Zach," he relayed. "I don't."

"There is no answer," Emily joined in, revealing herself. "But there is reassurance." She sat next to the boy. "I was upset and I yelled," her hand squeezed Zach's. "Still doesn't mean I'm going to send you away. We've said it before but it bears repeating; this is your home as long as you want, Zach. Derek and I aren't going to kick you out. But you have to be civil. You have to respect Carly and Derek and I. Okay?"

"Okay," he nodded.

She flashed him a weak smile. "Life doesn't always make sense, buddy. You have to try to carve out good stuff even when it all seems bad. Because if you do nothing but dwell on the bad, I can pretty much guarantee you it will eat you up inside," she warned.

"What good can I carve out of Clooney's death or Kate dying?" Zach was confused.

Emily squeezed his hand again. "You got to hold that puppy today because I was trying to cheer you up. That was a good thing that came from Clooney's death. And we all got to meet Kate. I think we should invite Kate over for a meal here," she suggested. "Do you remember what she said about the food they serve at her group home? How it's all unidentifiable. Well, even Derek has proclaimed that my cooking has improved. So why don't we expose her to some good food and good company?"

The boy's blue eyes lit. "Can we?" he looked to Derek for confirmation. "She was nice. I think you'd like her."

"I don't see why not," Morgan replied, realizing from Emily's words that Kate was another kid in the system. He eyed the woman he loved for a moment before his gaze slowly shifted to Zach. And he thought about Carly tucked into her bed down the hall. Part of him wondered if Emily and Zach were setting him up to take in yet another child, but he decided to give them both the benefit of the doubt. "It sounds like a good idea," he agreed with more enthusiasm.

"Good. I'll call in the morning and see what I can arrange," Emily concluded as she stood and eyed Zach. "You can read until nine, then lights out."

The boy smiled.

Morgan wrapped an arm around her waist as they walked to their room. "So, you really sure you're too tired to…"

"Pretty sure," Emily confirmed as she peeled off her clothes, threw on one of Derek's large t-shirts and sunk into bed. She waited for him to join her and rested her head against his chest. "Work tomorrow? Or do you get any time off for good behavior?" she asked.

"No time off," Derek sadly replied. "Maybe this weekend, but even that…"

"Isn't guaranteed," she whispered, knowing the routine.

He kissed her apologetically. "You upset?"

"Nope, you'd probably start to annoy me if you were around all the time," Emily teased.

"I missed you, too," Derek knew the true meaning beneath her words.

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	38. Reunion

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

* * *

><p><strong>Reunion<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>The train jostled beneath Derek's feet as Emily broke free from him and stepped in to the path of a bullet.<p>

Even in her weakened state there wasn't enough time to stop her.

Derek hadn't known what to expect of his cross-Europe journey with Tasha and Easter. He hadn't really thought it through. He'd just been reacting to the need to find Emily. All he'd hoped was to find her alive, figuring they could deal with any aftermath as long as she survived. He certainly hadn't planned to jump on and off a dozen trains. Nor had he imagined finding Emily just in time to pull her safely away from a burning train car. But at least he'd found her alive.

It was unfortunate that he hadn't been able to keep her out of harm's way for more than a few minutes.

"Emily?" he called out, rushing to her side as she dropped to the floor behind a bank of seats. They provided nice cover as several more shots rang out.

People screamed and cowered between the seats. Derek was thankful the train wasn't too terribly populated. But there were still far too many innocent lives at risk. And yet, all he could think about was Emily's safety as he stared down at the blood beginning to cover her ragged dress. A part of him hated that he'd become so dependent on her to create happiness in his life. For years he'd been content to go it alone, serve and protect, putting his life on the line for anyone. Now he was compromised by his unwavering love for her.

It took most of his willpower not to attack the men shooting at them with his bare fists.

But Derek knew she needed him alive.

"Where's the wound?" he looked to Tasha who had crouched down and was helping to keep Emily cradled in a seated position between them. Easter was also squatted nearby, laying down cover fire since he was the only one with a weapon.

"Not sure," Tasha wasn't afraid to get her hands bloody as she searched for the source of Emily's gunshot wound. The woman had just taken a bullet for her, leaving Tasha partially shocked. But she pushed past that emotion and discovered the source of the blood. "Her left shoulder."

"Can you find an exit wound?" Derek asked, slightly more at ease to know it wasn't a chest shot.

Emily groaned; her eyes half open as Tasha turned her shoulder. "I'm fine," her weak voice croaked.

"I don't think so," Tasha replied, her words an equal response to Derek's question and Emily's groggy declaration. "This is very much out of my skinned knee bandaging area of expertise," Tasha added with a shaky breath. "She needs a doctor."

"No kidding," Derek mumbled as he made eye contact with Emily. "Hang on," he whispered to her over the sound of another few shots and more screaming. He gritted his teeth and aimed a glare at Easter. "We need to get her medical assistance," he told the man.

"I'm fine," Emily repeated.

Easter held his position, glancing over his shoulder to observe the small group of people he was trying to protect. "Yes, I gather that," he responded to Derek. "But I have three bullets left and there are at least two men on either side of us with guns. How exactly do you propose we…" his words trailed off as the train began to slow noticeably. "I'd say we've reached St. Petersburg," Easter craned his neck to peer out the nearest window. "Though it's not any kind of major port I recognize."

"A route they designed away from the general population," Morgan guessed. "Probably about to make a transfer," he sighed, feeling utterly helpless in a foreign country where he didn't know the language let alone the proper police procedure. "Do you have any kind of jurisdiction here?" he asked of Easter, still rather uncertain of the man's role within Interpol.

With a grimace, Easter replied hesitantly, "Some…" he revealed. "Technically I still have to go through proper channels like anyone else, which could mean a lot of red tape and bureaucracy. Certainly not enough time to stop them all from leaving right now, and get Emily medical help. I can't even guarantee these guys will obey official law around here. They're rebels, in case you hadn't already gathered that."

"Shouldn't you have thought about all that before joining us on this mission?" Derek growled, still focusing on the woman he loved who was in a state of half-consciousness. "Hey, Emily, you gotta stay with me okay? Talk to me," he practically begged, flashbacks to Doyle and the Boston warehouse plaguing his mind.

"I'm fine," her words were slurred.

"What should I have thought about, agent Morgan?" Easter was growing a bit perturbed, "The fact that these thugs will pay no attention to proper authority or the fact that this isn't even a proper mission? Neither is exactly within my ability to control. I never planned to join this little field trip in the first place."

Derek was growing angrier, unable to control the situation. "Then why did you?"

"As I recall," Easter paused to observe the train's activity for a moment. "You said I could either get out of your way or help you. All I'm trying to do is help."

That realization hit Derek in the stomach like a sucker punch. It was the reality check he needed. He realized there was no way he and Tasha would've gotten even half the distance to Emily's location without Easter's help. "I'm sorry…" the words were difficult for him to admit as his focus returned to Emily.

She gripped his arm. "I was in the elevator… then they… then I beat Reid…" Emily mumbled.

Morgan's worry doubled as she spoke in confusing stings of words. "Reid? What do you mean you beat Reid?"

"At cards, remember…" there was a faint hint of a smile on her face. "…and Han Solo was there in the Falcon…"

Tasha's eyes were filled with concern. "She's not making much sense."

"Because she'd been drugged," Easter responded.

"What?" Derek's brow bunched tightly.

"Look at her pupils, and more importantly; her arms," Easter called over his shoulder, "I noticed the puncture wounds the first time I saw her. Check her shoulders and neck, you'll probably find more. How do you think they got her out of Interpol headquarters in London? Or on to this train," he returned focus to the aft gunman.

Derek had been too clouded with worry earlier to see it, but Easter was right. Judging from her appearance and behavior, Emily had clearly been subdued by a plethora of drugs. "She must have fought pretty hard to have gotten free from these guys," Morgan squeezed her hand, hoping to reassure her that he was there.

"Emily is very tenacious," Easter responded as he watched a gunman checking the door between train cars. "One of the many reasons I wanted her in London. But the gunshot wound and blood loss isn't helping her at the moment. Although with that amount of drugs in her system she's probably not feeling much pain."

As if on cue, Emily spoke up again, "I'm fine," she insisted.

"Well, we are most definitely not," Easter replied as the train grew deathly quiet. "We need to get off this train, now," there was great urgency in his tone.

Instantly alarmed by Easter's tone, Derek stood, leaving Emily for a moment in Tasha's care. He swiftly surveyed the area and realized all of the passengers had exited in a rapid manner. "Where did they go?" he asked. "And…" he glanced around again and noticed something even more disturbing. "All of the bullet holes are above us," Morgan caught Easter's eye in time to watch the man nod his agreement. "These seats are vinyl and wood. They could've easily shot through them."

"Obviously they were not trying hard to hit us," Easter deducted.

"Just trying to keep us subdued," Morgan realized. "While they ushered off all the passengers in a hurry… you're right, we need to get off this train right now," he swooped down and lifted Emily into his arms with little effort. "Come on," he said to Tasha, though the woman was smart enough to already be on her feet and moving quickly through the main aisle.

Morgan, with Emily tightly in his embrace, followed Tasha while Easter took up position behind them. They worked their way through three train cars before they found an exit that wasn't locked or blocked. Once they were safely on the platform, Easter found them a place to take cover. They all crouched down and huddled behind the rather flimsy plywood wind-block wall and waited. They waited nearly two minutes before Derek's head popped up to check the train.

"Maybe we were just being para…"

The jolt of an explosion halted any further words.

Emily's earlier blast on the train was nothing compared to the continuous flash and boom that sounded behind them. Derek turned away as glass windows shattered all along the train. The large and tiny shards went flying over their supposed safety wall, raining down on them. Thankfully, with their backs turned toward the blast and their heads down, the glass pieces did little damage. Nothing more than a few surface scratches here and there on their necks and arms.

When the initial explosions finally died down, Derek looked to Easter and finished his previous thought, "Or maybe not paranoid."

Clyde chuckled for a second, but he immediately grew serious again. "That was certainly meant for us. We need to figure out where these bastards are headed from here and…"

"Over there," Morgan pointed as he helped Emily to her feet. She leaned against his left side and Tasha's right. "That man," Derek watched at the person in question ducked his head and tried to look nonchalant. "Black trench coat, black and white scarf, stocking cap. He was on the train that just exploded."

"You're sure?" Easter checked for clarification.

"Positive," Derek insisted. "I think we need to have a chat with him."

"Let's go," Easter agreed.

Morgan reluctantly left Emily with Tasha as he and Clyde began to follow the trench coat man. "Excuse me, sir?" Derek spoke. "Do you speak English? I'm afraid my friends and I are a bit lost and we could really use some directions if you'd be so kind?" The man did not respond, though he did not run away either. Easter used the tiny bit of Russian that he knew but the man still didn't reply. He simply kept walking. "Time to do this the hard way," Derek sighed.

He and Easter caught up to the man, matched his step and flanked him on both sides. Resisting the urge to flash his gun, Easter followed Derek's slightly more peaceful approach. They each took hold of an arm and carted the man a short distance to a bench where they all sat. "Now, either you speak English or Russian," Morgan declared. "But you will speak to us."

"I have nothing to say to you," the man's English was heavily accented.

Chilly wind whistled softly through the mostly empty train platform.

"Why were you on that train?" Derek paid no attention to his declaration. "Do you know the men responsible for what happened back there? Do you know where they're taking their prisoners? Do you have any idea what goes on aboard that train as it travels across Europe?"

The man remained silent for a short time before his shoulders sagged. "I knew it would end," he lamented. "I look for good job for many years to take care of my family - my wife and three children, my aging parents. At unconventional agency I meet two men who say to me, you only have to ride this train and we pay you for it. So I ride almost every day, so few days to be with my family. Mostly I ride the train from Paris to St. Petersburg, over and over. Money is put in my account. I ask no questions."

"Has the train ever exploded like that before?" Easter inquired.

"Once or twice," the man nodded. "But I have only worked six months riding."

"In six months this is possibly the second time a whole line of rail cars has exploded?" Derek's head shook in disbelief. "And what do the police think about that?"

The man looked reluctant to say anything more, but finally gave in. "The police are easily paid to not think. That is all I say to you. I know nothing more. Let me go now. My family needs me, and now I need new job."

Derek let go of the man. "They were paying people to be on that train and they had Emily. So why did they let us on? To keep us close," he answered himself, "They didn't want to arouse suspicion, thought they could keep us out of their business."

"Or wanted to kill us all along," Easter added his thoughts to the mix as they walked back to where they'd left Tasha and Emily.

"What did you find out?" Tasha asked. "Did that man have anything to say? You should have taken me, I speak Russian. Isn't that the whole point of me being here?"

"He spoke," Morgan relayed. "But he didn't have any names to give us."

"How about the name, Dominick Ziven," Tasha looked to the men, eyeing one and then the other. Finally she brandished a folded piece of paper. "I just found this in the pocket of Emily's dress. It has the name Dominick Ziven on it and a place, Lake Ladoga. It is just north of here."

"You just happened to find this note in her pocket?" Derek was instantly suspicious.

"Smells like a trap," Easter agreed.

Morgan frowned as his thoughts turned quickly. "Or maybe not. I think those men on the train were sure we'd die in that explosion. So why plant a note in Emily's pocket to lure us to them?" He stood beside Emily and held her hand again. "How you doing?"

"You didn't explode?" she responded.

Derek shook his head, still a bit worried about her state of mind. "Not to my knowledge. I know I'm no Han Solo, but I think I came to your rescue all right."

"At least the Kardashians aren't with you," she smiled.

That got him to smile, too, and to believe her head was still in the game. "Nah," he whispered. "Outside of fantasy land I'm a one-woman man."

"Enough, you two," Easter rolled his eyes.

"I think it's sweet," Tasha grinned.

"You would," Clyde retorted. "How I got caught up in this band of merry men I will never know."

"If you hadn't shown up, we'd probably be dead or in some foreign prison by now," Derek noted, just short of his words being another thank you. He had more important issues pressing on his mind than stroking Easter's ego. "Emily, I need you to tell us what you remember about your trip here. Was there anyone on the train who tried to help you?"

She took a shaky breath. "Laren," Emily whispered as she faced her three friends. "A young woman I was in contact with on the train, she was the only one who showed me kindness. I thought she was working with the men responsible for all this, but she must have left this for me. I don't know who else would."

"So it could still be a trap," Easter concluded.

"You want a trap, mister? You just stepped in to one."

Derek and Easter turned at the sound of a male voice. They found a rather young pack of boys, three of them standing too close for comfort. They were clearly Russian born, but their English was quite good, which was more typical of the younger generation. Derek pegged them as thugs in a second, and he could tell Easter guessed the same. "You don't want to cause any trouble for us," Clyde spoke. "I'm an Interpol agent and my friend here is with the FBI in the states."

The lead boy had dark messy hair and smiled smugly. "I don't care who you are, as long as you hand over your money."

Easter was instantly bored with their antics and reached for the gun at the small of his back.

"No, no, no," the smiling boy tsked. "That's not how this works."

Morgan swore silently as four more young thugs stepped in from behind them. One boy easily disarmed Easter and held the gun to his head. Two of the new boys also carried weapons which they menacingly held at their sides. "Money," the lead boy seemed the only one willing or able to talk. "Wallets, cell phones and jewelry," he demanded. "Now."

With little choice, Derek blocked Emily from harm as he handed over his watch and wallet. Easter did the same. "And your phones, I said cell phones," the boy stopped smiling and nodded toward two of his friends. "Show them what I mean," he instructed with an annoyed sign.

The two boys patted down Derek and Easter, removing not only their cell phones but their passports as well. Then they took Tasha's cell and the money belt beneath her shirt. "You're lucky we are not the type to prey on the flesh of pretty ladies," the boy grinned as he whispered in Tasha's ear.

That was the final straw for Derek as he lunged toward the boy. Easter joined in, each of them getting off a few good punches before a warning shot rang out.

Within seconds the boys regrouped and retreated. An old pick up careened around the corner of the train platform to pick them up. The boys jumped into the back and it sped off before Derek or Clyde could bother to try stopping them. Morgan huffed as he examined the small cuts on his knuckles. "Did we really just survive an exploding train only to be mugged by a group of bothersome teenagers?"

"Welcome to Europe," Emily quipped.

"Where's the closest hospital?" Derek shifted topic a little as he watched Emily wince. Her go to defense was humor and sarcasm, but he could tell she was hurting. "You've lost a lot of blood." Worries about his bruised fists and the sudden lack of any form of identification took a back seat to her discomfort.

"A hospital will be tricky," Easter warned. "They'll ask too many questions."

"But she could die otherwise," Derek countered.

"I doubt it's a fatal wound," Easter glanced around the area and then met Tasha's gaze. "We're closer to the Neva than the motorway, aren't we?"

Tasha nodded.

Morgan was not amused by how Easter was ignoring him, seeming not to even care about their current predicament. "That's great, is there a hospital close to the river?" he asked. But even as the words left his mouth, Derek began to concentrate on something else entirely as he stared at the smoldering remains of the train. "Before we boarded that train I counted the number of cars at an even dozen, including the engine car. Now there only seem to be ten."

"And the engine is one of the missing two," Clyde confirmed. "Nice observation. They used the distraction of the explosion to detach, which means they're traveling further north-east."

"Most of the lesser used river ports are north of here," Tasha added.

Easter nodded. "And water travel can be a lot easier trail to cover."

"Meanwhile, Emily is still bleeding," Derek needlessly pointed out.

"We can't take her to a hospital," Easter reiterated. "I have a contact here, Jake Petrov. He's very good at procuring things," he looked down the railroad track to the north and then glanced over at Derek. "Petrov isn't far from here. We'll walk; Emily can make it that far. Once we get medical supplies I'll dig the slug out of her shoulder. Then Petrov gets us a boat and we get back to tracking Ziven."

Derek glared at the man for a moment, pretty much completely dependent on his word.

"He's right," Emily made the final decision for the group. "I've made it this far. I'm not giving up now," she insisted. "We need to stay on this trail before it goes completely cold again."

Seeing he was overruled, Morgan gave in, "Okay," He was glad to hear her clear headedness prevail, even though he figured they'd all be dead soon.

xxx

Petrov did not exude friendliness.

He stood by the door of his home with a brooding scowl. The place was an entire upper floor of a small factory building; industrial steel and glass, dark and not cozy or charming in the least. Added to the unwelcoming abode were three of Petrov's men. Each of them took position at the other three corners of the mostly open space. And each of them had a semi-automatic weapon either poised in their hands or slung across their backs. They also wore expressions ten times less friendly than Petrov.

Morgan was certain Jake Petrov, whatever his business was, and his men would just as soon kill them as help them. The only thing keeping that from happening seemed to be the man's honor. From what Derek, Emily and Tasha could conclude, Easter had saved Petrov's life several years ago and there was a debt owed. Derek hoped that debt included a boat rental of some sort before being considered repaid. For now, though, he was focused on Emily as Easter prepped to carve her up.

"I was a medic for a short time in the British Royal Navy," Clyde informed them as he swabbed Emily's arm with alcohol.

"Very reassuring," Morgan replied with a degree of doubt.

Emily lay on her back upon an old metal table, Derek at her right side squeezing her hand tight enough to break it. Her ratty dress had been torn even more to reveal her entire shoulder and the wound. Tasha had mopped away as much blood as she could with clean towels but it still bled intermittently. Morgan brushed a few wisps of sweaty hair away from Emily's forehead. "This will be over soon," he whispered to her. "And then we can go to Chicago like we planned, visit my mama for her birthday."

She forced a weak smile for him. "Sounds good."

"This is going to hurt," Easter was blunt with his warning as he began.

Tasha stood at the other end of the table. She had a basic sewing needle, plain white thread and a roll of clean bandages with adhesive medical tape, prepared for the aftermath of Easter's bullet extraction. "They do this all the time in movies," she smiled encouragingly for her old friend.

Even biting her lip could not stop the small whimper of pain to escape Emily's throat as Easter made his incision.

"Give her some of this," Petrov stepped toward the group, nudging Derek's shoulder with a bottle of vodka that was half drained.

Derek didn't wish to be impolite, but he was not about to give Emily anything Petrov and his men had probably slobbered all over. "Thank you, but," he figured the truth was the best cover. "She's been given a combination of drugs that we haven't identified yet. I don't want to risk mixing alcohol with them."

The man shrugged, took a swig of the vodka and stepped back to his guard post at the door.

It was hard for Derek to see Emily in pain. And she was watching the whole process as Easter did his best not to root around too much beneath the skin of her shoulder. Morgan knew she was a tough woman, but he also understood that she'd been through a hell of a lot the last few days, not to mention the past two years. "Hey, I almost forgot I have something for you," he did his best to distract her. Derek fished two objects out of his pocket and pressed them against her right palm.

Her eyes focused on the Scrabble tiles, trying hard to remember them. "These are from my grandfather's game?" Emily fondly recalled playing Scrabble with Derek in her flat the first time he'd come to visit her, unexpectedly. But thoughts of her flat caused inner turmoil. "There was a fire… you were inside."

"No," Morgan assured her. "I'm right here. How did you know about the fire at your place?"

"They showed me," the fogginess from her drugs was wearing off more and more, making the memories clearer. "The man on the train showed me footage of you entering the building and then of the flames. I didn't want to believe you were really gone."

He realized her abuse had not only been physical but psychological as well. Derek wondered when it would ever end. "He was just trying to break you."

"I know," she whispered, wincing again as Easter seemed to find the stubborn bullet at last. "Is… was Sergio inside when…"

Morgan's head shook as he squeezed her hand again, the letters pressing in to both their palms. "Sergio is fine. He's being very well looked after by Tasha's daughter, Elya," he assured her. "And when the heck did you outfit your cat with a mini spy camera?" he tried to change the subject a little. "That thing is seriously cool. Even Garcia was impressed."

A small smile graced her lips. "I've gotten paranoid in my old age."

"You're hardly an old lady," he kissed her forehead, allowing his lips to linger there for a while.

Emily closed her eyes and imagined they were together, alone, on some tropical island beach somewhere. White warm sand beneath their feet, hands clasped as they kicked at the salty teal ocean waves. Derek's lips pressed against hers as the sun beat down on them. But that happy vision didn't last long before reality reared its ugly head again. She opened her eyes and looked to her shoulder where Easter was stitching her up the best he could with limited supplies.

"What happened at my Interpol office?" she asked, looking from Easter to Derek for an answer. "They took me from the elevator and there was a fire there, too?"

Derek shared a brief look with Clyde, both of them knowing they had to tell her the truth. "It seems this Ziven guy and his men like explosives," Morgan sighed. "The offices were completely destroyed and six bodies were discovered. For a short time we believed one of them was you, but apparently two were members of the cleaning staff. One was a Russian criminal and the other three were…"

"Nancy, Mark and… Gus," she swallowed the lump in her throat, despondent over the loss of three more innocent lives in her wake. "They were working late on a case."

It was easy for Derek to see the turmoil sparked in her dark eyes. He knew she was thinking about her old Interpol team, those who Doyle had taken out one by one. And now she no doubt felt responsible for three more deaths. "This is not your fault, Jo," he whispered the sentiment in her ear. "These guys don't care who gets in their way."

She nodded, trying to take his words to heart as Easter finished the last stitch and tied it off. Tasha was right behind him, winding the bandage gauze around her shoulder. "It's not too tight, is it?" the kind woman asked. Emily shook her head.

Petrov walked toward the group again. "Here," he tossed some clothing and a bit of white cloth at Tasha. "Some better clothes for her to wear. And an old sheet," the man said. "You can cut up and make a sling, take the pressure off her shoulder," he offered with surprising tenderness in his deep voice.

"Thank you," Tasha replied as she and Derek began to help Emily redress.

The hulking Russian turned to Easter. "We have small boat for you. Martin…" he pointed to the dark-haired man to his right, "Will escort you to the dock. My Intel says that only one boat left the northern harbor dock within your timeline. Two level tour boat named: _The Griffin_. Not many boats out on lake this time of year. You'll be on your own out there. You know how to navigate?" Petrov inquired.

"We'll manage," Easter shook the man's hand. "We're even," he stated.

The other man nodded.

xxx

Derek shivered, rubbing his arms. He was not at all dressed properly for a gusty trip up the Neva River in mid-November.

The boat, true to Petrov's rough description, was rusty and chugged along at a pace just slightly faster than a snail. It had a snug lower compartment with an ancient hot plate and a dump-it-yourself toilet. But it did have two sleeping bunks with dusty mattresses, one of which was where they'd positioned Emily for the journey. Tasha came up from below and greeted the two men with smiles despite their predicament. "She is resting," the woman informed them.

"I guess that's something to be thankful for," Derek reasoned even as he let go a worried sigh. "Do you have any idea where we're going?" he aimed the question at Easter who resided at the controls. "You said boat travel is hard to track."

Clyde kept his eyes on the cloudy horizon. "I have found a boat on this very lake before; in a fog so thick you could slice it and serve it on toast."

Morgan shook his head at the man's vague answer, wondering yet again what Easter's role in Interpol was. "Look, I fully admit that I'm out of my comfort zone here, but if I was this deep in a case back home I'd have called for backup hours ago."

"Is that really true?" Easter wore a doubtful look. "I've done my homework on you, agent Morgan. You don't always play by the book, which actually makes you a good agent. I could even use a man like you," he said. "And I could call in half of Interpol right now if I wanted, even a whole army of CIA," he revealed, "But what would that do?"

It took only a moment for Derek to realize. "Alert Ziven," Derek guessed. "He got to Emily at the London office, which means he's got eyes everywhere. And the more bodies involved, the more innocent people who'll end up dead," he acknowledged. "They have weapons, drugs and human hostages, all of which they're probably not willing to give up without a serious fight. And they're not afraid to use explosives," Morgan concluded.

"To a different extreme, Ziven could find a way to hide out and we start all over," Clyde added.

Derek sighed. "I know one thing for sure. He's not going to give up until Emily is dead. So you be sure to let me know when I can help."

"You already have, agent Morgan," Easter assured, "Just by being persistent."

With a gracious nod to Easter and a small smile directed toward Tasha, Derek headed down below to the cramped quarters.

Emily stirred when she heard his footsteps. "Sorry," he spoke softly to her, settling on a wood bench beside the starboard bunk where she lay. Derek watched her eyes flutter open with some difficulty. "You should try to sleep some more. I really have no idea where we are, where we're headed or what we're going to encounter if and when we do arrive at Ziven's hiding place. But I'd say rest and clear heads would be a good thing to have on our side."

"I'm kinda hungry," she responded in a croaky voice.

He smiled. "That's actually one thing I can remedy," Derek jumped up and rummaged through a box he and Tasha had found aboard. "Apparently Petrov's men left us some granola bars and water. They're an odd bunch for sure." He sat back down and opened an oatmeal raisin bar for her before passing it over. "Go easy on that, I'm guessing it's the first thing you've eaten in a few days," he watched her nod. "How you feeling, other than being hungry?"

She shifted and sat up a little, resting her head against an icy cold porthole window carved in the hull. Lake water sloshed against the window and the boat swayed gently. "My shoulder aches, but surprisingly not as much as I'd anticipated. Maybe it's some of the residual drug effects. My head feels a lot clearer, too," Emily revealed before taking a small bite of the bar. "This is quite a feast. Our own little Thanksgiving," she tried to lighten the mood.

His bar was already half gone when he offered her some water. "You know Thanksgiving was last week, right?" Derek watched her sip the liquid.

"Yeah, of course," Emily managed a smile as she took another small bite and chewed it slowly. She knew he was covertly testing her memory. "Sergio and I celebrated with an ex-pat turkey sandwich meal," she looked him in the eye. "But I'm very thankful right now. Thankful for my life, and to be with you even if we have no idea what's ahead."

Derek let his fingers trail gently along her neck. "I'm sorry this reunion kinda sucks," he kissed her cheek as the boat continued to seesaw beneath them.

Emily finished her meal, settled back down and closed her eyes again.

He stayed with her as she drifted to sleep, holding her hand, kissing her palm. "Easter called it persistence, but I call it love," Derek whispered.

"Um," Tasha reluctantly announced her presence. "I'm sorry, didn't mean to intrude," she said. "Clyde mentioned it's going to be hours before we even reach the mouth of the lake. And it will be dark by then so he told me we should all try to rest. I can go back up, though, there's a bench there I can…"

"No," Derek interrupted her. "You can take the second sleep bunk," he insisted. She had already done way more than what he guessed Emily's mother had suggested, plus she had a child back home to worry about seeing again.

Tasha instantly settled on the bunk and closed her eyes, appreciative of the chance to relax a little even though she was worried about her daughter who she hadn't been able to contact in a while. "Thank you, Derek," she whispered before drifting off.

Morgan smiled but said nothing, wanting to keep the cabin as quiet as possible so both women could sleep. He examined the narrow bunk Emily was laying on before he climbed up and carefully wedged himself onto the mattress beside her, taking her in his arms. She instantly curled up against him, resting her head upon his shoulder. He pressed his lips against her temple, feeling the soft pulse beating beneath her skin.

"Sweet dreams," he whispered. "Tomorrow will undoubtedly prove to be difficult."

* * *

><p><strong>The End (but to be continued…)<strong>


	39. Feast

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

* * *

><p><strong>Feast<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>Emily frowned as she glanced at the picture of Derek on her cell phone.<p>

"Where are you?" she answered the call. Emily stood in the hall, one shoulder propped against the wall as she checked on the kids in the living room. Their guest of honor, Kate, was seated on the sofa with Sergio curled up close to her. Zach was on her other side showing her the newest book he was reading. And little Carly was hunkered in one corner watching the older children with guarded curiosity. "Dinner is almost ready. You said you'd be here."

"Sorry, Em," he sighed. "I just left Quantico, I'll be there soon."

"If you just left it'll be a good forty-five minutes to an hour before you get here in rush hour traffic," she huffed.

"You know I can't always control my work schedule," Derek's tone was abrupt.

She took a deep breath, trying to calm down. "I know, but we arranged for Kate to have a family meal with us and it's not much of a family with you missing. This girl lives with a dozen other kids and a rotating house mother. She doesn't have any kind of stable home life and I wanted to show her a bit of that tonight."

He sighed again. "I'll do my best to be there soon," Derek concluded before ending the call.

Zach turned his head and eyed Emily. "He's not coming home tonight?"

"No," Emily replied. "I mean, yes, he'll be here in a little while," she slipped the phone onto a nearby table and joined the kids in the living room. "Dinner will be done in about five minutes so we'll all start and Derek can join us when he gets home."

"Maybe we could wait for him," Kate suggested, aiming her green eyes toward Emily. "I think that would be nice of us. And the food will stay warm in the oven, right? I'd really like to wait to meet Derek first before we eat."

"Yeah, can we wait?" Zach joined in.

Emily shrugged. "Aren't you hungry now?"

"A little, but I'll wait if Kate wants to wait," Zach agreed.

"And what about you, Carly?" Emily sunk down in a chair close to where the blue-eyed girl sat looking at the piece of paper she had clutched in her hand, one of her recent drawings with an abstract rendition of her favorite thing in the world; the tree swing. "Do you want to wait for Derek to get home before we eat?"

Carly nodded her head.

"Then I guess it's unanimous," Emily declared. "But maybe we should do something more active than looking at books," she said.

"It's the middle of July," Zach replied. "It's way too hot outside to do anything more active than sit and read."

"Or watch TV," Kate added. "Could we, maybe, watch TV?" she asked. "The older girls at my group home always control the stuff we watch on TV and they usually watch dumb things like that pregnant teenager show and Desperate Housewives. I like the Disney channel. I guess those shows are kind of dumb, too, but better dumb."

"Go for it," Emily didn't really care, still focused on being rather miffed at Derek for being late.

Zach jumped up and grabbed the remote. He handed it off to Kate. "Here you go."

She flipped through the channels for a while, skipping over news programs, sporting events, cooking shows and several home shopping channels until she found the more kid friendly section of the lineup. Kate touched briefly on a few cartoons and was about to change the channel again when a tiny voice spoke from the corner of the room.

"Come on vamonos, everybody lets go…"

Three sets of eyes turned to stare at Carly, mesmerized by the long string of words she'd spoken.

"What did you just say, mouse?" Emily asked the girl.

Her blue eyes dipped, clearly feeling embarrassed to be looked at.

"Wait a second," Kate spoke up. "I think I know what she was singing." The girl refocused on the remote in her hand and backed up to the previous channel. A colorful scene filled the TV; rivers, trees and mountains designed with a cartoon flare. And on the screen a cartoon girl with dark brown hair and brown eyes was singing the exact same tune Carly had just been singing. "_Come on vamonos, everybody lets go…_"

Carly joined in again, springing to life. She moved closer to the TV as she sang and stared at the screen. "Come on let's get to it, I know that we can do it. Where are we going? Tall mountain! Where are we going? Tall mountain!"

"Whoa, she's not a mouse she's a couch potato," Zach laughed.

"Zach, that's not nice to say," Emily gave the boy a tiny look of reproach. "Do you know this program?" she asked Kate.

"Dora the Explorer," the girl replied. "You don't know about Dora?"

Emily chuckled. "No, but I'm guessing I'm about to get very familiar with it." She watched as Carly continued to light up while watching the program. The girl would call out the names of the characters as they appeared, a monkey named Boots and something called a Swipper. Emily wasn't sure what it all meant, other than the fact that Carly was singing and dancing and had said more words than Emily even realized she knew. "So this is how you know Spanish, mouse."

"I think she's watched this show a lot," Zach said after one episode ended and another began with Carly singing along to the opening theme.

"It makes sense," Emily spoke to the older kids. "We know she was probably never let out of that apartment where she lived with her step-father. I imagine TV became an outlet for her, a way to escape. Something she could rely on," it saddened her in some ways, but Emily was also thankful that Carly had some sort of coping mechanism in her abused life.

Morgan walked in twenty minutes later to find his family crowded around the TV rather than eating.

He stashed his gun in the safe in the hall closet before approaching the group. "What is this?" he asked, placing a hand against Emily's shoulder as she sat on the sofa beside a young girl who he assumed was their guest. But his focus instantly fell to Carly who was standing between the sofa and the TV. He was awestruck by the girl's dancing and singing.

Not wanting to interrupt Carly's outlet, Emily got up and pulled Derek off to the side. She explained everything that had led up to what they were now witnessing. "This is promising, don't you think?" her eyes shimmered with a mixture of tears and elation. "Singing, music, learning… this is something we can definitely build upon."

"We?" he let go a breath, thankful to be home. "I thought you were upset with me for being late?"

She smiled and kissed him briefly on the lips. "You're lucky Carly's breakthrough interrupted my brooding. And dinner is waiting in the oven."

"Think we can drag this gang away from the TV?" Derek wondered as he moved back in to the living room. Thankfully program credits were already rolling. "Come on little mouse, we need to eat before its bedtime," he said to Carly before turning the TV off.

Carly stepped closer to Emily but shyly eyed Derek.

"Isn't saying little mouse kind of redundant?" Kate piped up from her seat on the sofa.

Derek's brows rose as he moved toward the girl. "The word redundant is kind of a big term for such a pretty little lady," he extended his hand in introduction. "I'm Derek."

"Kate," she shook his hand with a friendly smile. "I kind of already guessed you were Derek. I saw some pictures of you and your family around the house. Zach gave me a full tour of the place when I got here. It's a lovely home you have. Emily said you restored a lot of stuff. You did a nice job," she complimented him.

"Thank you, butterfly," he grinned.

The girl's eyes sparkled with intrigue. "Why'd you call me that? Butterfly?"

He shrugged. "I guess because you're beautiful and delicate, just like a butterfly."

Kate turned to Emily. "I like him, he's a keeper."

"Yeah, he's a sweet talker for sure," Emily had to agree. "And as long as he's not late for dinner again I guess we can keep him around."

"Okay, let's move this gathering to the dining table," Morgan made a shooing motion with his hands. When the kids were out of sight he grabbed Emily's waist from behind and kissed her neck, keeping her stalled in the living room. "You guess you'll keep me around? How are you going to pay for these kids and the food without me?"

She chuckled and turned around in his embrace to face him. "I like keeping you around for more than just bill paying," Emily initiated a real kiss that caused hands to roam.

Zach pulled the chicken and rice dishes from the oven and placed them on the table before he realized the adults were still lingering in the living room. He found Kate in the hallway watching them. "Are they always like that?" she asked. "Playful and loving?"

"Pretty much, it's gross," the boy declared.

"I don't think so," Kate replied. "I think it's romantic."

"Whatever," the boy rolled his eyes and went to the fridge to grab the salad.

Morgan caught Kate watching them and broke off the kiss. He took Emily's hand and guided her toward the dining table. "So, I thought I heard you had a wheelchair, Kate," he struck up conversation with their guest. "I don't see it around here."

"I only have to use it sometimes when I get short of breath or am too tired to walk," the girl responded as Emily showed her a seat to take. "Mostly at the animal shelter because it's a big space. But in a small house like this I probably won't get too tired out," she declared, placing a napkin neatly in her lap. Kate looked over her shoulder to where Carly was sitting on the bottom step of the staircase. "Um, doesn't she eat with you guys at the table?"

Emily cringed, embarrassed by the scene. "We're still working on that," she revealed.

"Pretty sure it's me she's scared of being so close to," Derek added.

Without another word, Kate got up and went over to where Carly was seated. The smaller girl didn't flinch or try to flee. She stared up at Kate with keen interest. "Come on, Carly. Let's go eat with everyone else," Kate offered her hand to the girl. "You can sit between me and Emily. No icky boy germs will get you," she promised.

Zach, Emily and Derek all watched in amazement as Carly took Kate's hand and followed her to the table. Kate wasn't much bigger, but Carly clearly showed respect for her. Emily did her best not to make a big deal of it; she simply brought another chair over for Carly to sit. Then she sat a plate in front of Carly and cut up the chicken into smaller pieces. Carly sat on her feet because the chair wasn't high enough for her. But she didn't let that stop her from digging in with her left hand.

"No fork?" Kate asked as she began to eat her food.

"Getting her to eat at the table was probably a big enough accomplishment for one night," Emily smiled, not eating for a while as she watched Carly.

Kate ate slowly, taking small bites. She savored every morsel of her meal. "Real grilled chicken, brown rice and salad that's crisp and fresh," the girl swooned with delight. "This is a feast compared to what they feed us at the group home. Not that they starve us or anything, it's just that all of the food looks rather creamy even when it shouldn't be. Thank you so much for this," Kate said before continuing her meal.

"You've very welcome," Emily smiled. She noticed the way the girl used her napkin, kept one hand in her lap at all times. Her elbows never touched the table and she said please and thank you every time someone passed her something. "You have impeccable table manners, Kate," Emily felt it worth commending.

"Thanks," the girl grinned. "When I was about Carly's age I decided I would be as perfect as possible, learning all the proper manners a kid should know. I figured it would help me get adopted by a good family. I didn't realize how sick I was back then. I didn't know nobody would take me in because of my illness. But at least the manners stuck."

A long silence befell the table as they all ate and digested Kate's sad story. Derek was the one to finally break through. "What sorts of things do you like to do, butterfly?" he asked.

She swallowed before answering. "I love my time with the animals at the shelter, but what I really want to be when I grow up is a pilot. I read lots of books about the history of flight and famous pilots. But I have several other daydreams that keep me busy. Things I want to do before I die, like learn how to sew something, maybe a quilt. And the biggy, I want to have a family of my own someday. Not like kids of my own, because I probably won't live that long. But to have parents and maybe siblings if my adoptive family has other kids."

"Why sewing?" Zach asked.

"Not sure," Kate shrugged. "It just seems like some special skill a mother would pass along to her daughter."

"Maybe in the 1950's," the boy laughed.

Emily smiled at the interaction between the kids, so much like siblings. "My mother once tried to teach me to sew," she revealed to the group. Emily watched Derek's brows shoot up his forehead. "She'd had this near death experience in Romania on a diplomatic mission so she suddenly felt the need to impart some of her motherly wisdom upon me. Apparently my grandmother was an excellent seamstress and my mom figured it should be a skill passed down through the generations."

"Yeah, so did you learn?" Kate was genuinely interested.

"I learned that I have thick skin," Emily revealed. "After a while I didn't even bleed when I stuck myself with the needle."

Everyone laughed at that.

"Who's you favorite pilot, Kate?" Morgan kept the conversation moving along.

"Amelia Earhart, of course," there was no hesitation in the girl's tone.

"Of course," Derek shared a smile with Emily. They were both honestly delighted by the child's refreshing presence.

"And Charles Lindberg, who I named the puppy Charlie after," Kate continued. "The Wright brothers and Chesley Sullenberger."

Zach's nose wrinkled. "Who's Chelsea whatshername?"

"Chesley is a man," Kate corrected. "He was a fighter pilot, but most importantly he landed a US Airways flight in the Hudson River and saved all 150 passengers. He's a hero."

"Derek and Emily are heroes, too," Zach said.

Kate nodded and smiled, as if she already knew that to be a true statement. "All good parents are heroes," she declared.

xxx

"Kind of a lonely shower without…" Derek paused as he stood in the doorway between their bathroom and bedroom. He noticed that Emily was already curled up on her side of the bed with the lamp off. "You asleep?" he whispered. He watched her shift and turn to face him with a weak smile. Morgan grinned to see her sleepy eyes greet him. He flicked off the bathroom light, crossed the bedroom to the dresser, dropped his towel and pulled on a clean pair of boxer briefs. "The kids tucked in?" he asked.

She stifled a yawn before replying. "It only took one book to put Carly down. Zach was still reading when I checked on him. I told him lights out by ten at the latest."

He sat down on his side of the bed and leaned toward her to steal a quick kiss. "You look tired."

"And you're a flipping genius of observation," Emily quipped.

Derek got up and pulled back the sheets on his side. He discovered something hidden there, a piece of paper folded up into a small square. "You leaving me love notes?"

Emily glanced over and shook her head. "It's not from me."

Curiosity won out as he slipped into bed and immediately unfolded the paper. He was greeted by a drawing of blue, green, yellow and brown squiggly lines. Derek held the drawing up for Emily to see. "I'm guessing this is a Carly original."

"Her prized drawing," Emily sleepily replied.

"She must have meant to leave it for you," Derek started to hand it over.

"I doubt it," she stopped him. "Carly was clutching that drawing all day until Dora the Explorer distracted her. She had plenty opportunity to give it to me but she didn't. So I don't think it's any mistake it ended up on your side of the bed. She's a smart kid, and a keen observer. She knows where you sleep. I think she's reaching out to you."

His eyes gazed at the drawing again as he leaned against the wood headboard of their bed. "Yeah, you really think so?"

One hand reached out to pat his forearm. "She'd be foolish not to see what a great guy you are."

A thoughtful smile graced his lips as he kept hold of Carly's swing drawing. "It was pretty wonderful the way she reacted to that show tonight. And sitting at the table to eat dinner with us was an added bonus. I think Kate has a good rapport with her," Derek noted.

"Definitely," Emily agreed. "Kate is closer to her own age and not nearly as threatening to her as us adults."

"So probably the easiest thing would be to get a set of bunk beds," he snuggled up behind Emily, arms wrapped around her waist. But she swiftly shifted to face him and he easily noticed the wrinkle of her brow. "We'll need an extra bed and Carly's room isn't big enough for two beds other than a twin bunk set," he hoped that was enough clarification.

Emily was still confused, though. "Derek, what are you going on about?"

"I know Carly still likes to take comfort in crawling under her bed and hiding out, but we'll probably have to convince her to take the top bunk because Kate will need the bottom bunk, right? She shouldn't be climbing. Of course Carly still has the bed wetting issue, but a rubber sheet should hopefully save Kate from that being a problem."

With a yawn, Emily flipped on the lamp beside her and sat up a little. "Can we back up a second or two? Why would Kate need a bed here? Kate lives at the group home across town."

"Playing coy is not your style, Em…" he paused to actually look at her and noticed the seriousness of her brown eyes. "You really weren't going to bring this up, were you?"

"Kate needing a bed here?" she shook her head. "No, I'm a little lost. Granted I'm worn out tired, but…"

He sighed. "I honestly thought that was where all this was heading for you. Inviting Kate over here for dinner tonight, having me meet her… I figured you were considering having Kate move in with us, fostering her."

"Well…" Emily was suddenly more awake than she wanted to be. "I'd be lying if I said the thought hadn't crossed my mind. But I dismissed it because we can't," she continued, "Can we?" her eyes met his. "I love Zach and Carly and I'm certain I could love Kate just as much, and I'd like nothing more than to give her a happy, stable home here…"

"But…" he hoped to prompt her to say what he suspected they were both feeling.

"It's too much, isn't it?" she shrugged. "I mean we already have Zach's depression and anger issues. And then there's Carly's… well, what issues doesn't Carly have?" she shook her head. "She's made great strides lately, but she still has a long road ahead," Emily nervously picked at her fingernails. "And as lovely and sweet as Kate is, she has some very serious medical needs, doctor visits and monitoring and special food and care all the time."

"Which her group home is probably not keeping up with very well," Derek pointed out.

Emily couldn't help but nod. "Mrs. Dayton also told me Kate shouldn't be in a regular school because it's too taxing for her, which means private tutoring or she falls behind. Carly's not going to be ready for school until next year, at the earliest. That means I'd have the two of them home with me full time."

"And I'm rarely home to help you out," Morgan understood that was a large part of her reasoning. He tried to figure out why he was invested in the idea of Kate staying with them, but he couldn't explain it. Just like Emily had brought Zach into their lives and Zach had brought Carly into their family, he felt inexplicably drawn to the girl. "I can't ask that of you, Emily. I won't. But, I can't help feeling like she needs us."

"Then why don't we offer to be good friends to her," Emily suggested. "In fact, I was thinking about arranging a trip to the zoo for Carly. We could invite Kate to join us, and maybe all have a picnic," she added. "Think you could arrange to have a weekday morning off? I figure the crowd will be smaller then, for Carly's sake."

Derek leaned in to kiss her. "You're the best, Em. And I will try my hardest to join you on the zoo excursion," he vowed.

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	40. Planning

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

**Thank you all for reading!**

**I'm slowly working on the next London series part, but it takes a lot of concentration, which I am short on these days. Please enjoy this next bit of the Pact/Foster Kid series for now...**

* * *

><p><strong>Planning<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>A bird squawked from somewhere out of sight as they entered the zoo grounds.<p>

Clear blue sky arched endlessly overhead and greenery surrounded them, as well as people. It was nine o'clock on a Saturday morning and the place was already filling up. Emily clutched Carly's hand as they approached the first animal enclosure where a group of people were crowded around. She'd wanted to come on a weekday morning, but Derek hadn't been able to get time off until the weekend. Emily had been slightly miffed at him for a few days, but as she watched Derek pushing Kate's wheelchair now she could only smile.

Zach stuck close to Kate like a bodyguard, clearly ready to strike if anyone tried to hurt his friend. Emily knew he was most worried about people gawking at her.

Carly was instantly intrigued by the zoo as she tugged forcefully at Emily's hand. She did her best to keep her little blue eyes aimed on the animals and not the crowd as she dragged Emily closer to the open-air exhibit. The girl was dressed in a clean set of clothes, unicorn t-shirt with green shorts and white saltwater sandals. And she'd allowed Emily to pull her dark hair up into two pony tails that swung from either side of her head. She almost looked like any other kid at the zoo.

Her short legs were still rather thin, but they hustled her along at a good rate. When she finally stopped at the fence line, she used one index finger to point at the large animal in the enclosure. Her wide blue eyes aimed upward at Emily, an unspoken question dangling as she gestured emphatically with her finger. "Can you use your words, Carly?" Emily encouraged the child as she squatted down beside her.

Derek parked Kate's wheelchair next to Carly and Emily. "If you want to know about something you see here at the zoo, or anywhere else, you can just ask: what is it?" Kate suggested.

The four year old seemed to consider what the older girl had said. Then she looked to Emily again and spoke, "What is it?" her finger remained pointed.

A sleek, muscled animal with black and orange-tan striped fur was perched on a small hill within the enclosure, calmly taking in the world around him. "He's a tiger," Emily answered, awed by the animal though she'd seen one before. "He's basically a really big cat like Sergio," Emily further explained. She noticed the way Carly's eyes grew even larger. "Sergio will never get that big. He's just a house cat who won't get any bigger than he is right now. Unless we feed him too much," Emily joked.

Carly stood there for nearly twenty minutes, silently examining the tiger and his surroundings. Finally her little head turned when she spotted something in the next exhibit over. "What is it?" she took Emily's hand again and rushed toward the new animal. Those three words quickly became her favorite saying as the five of them strolled through the zoo. Emily patiently pointed out lions, bears, zebra and elephants. Seals, alligators, flamingos and turtles.

They were on the move for nearly two hours before stopping to watch a multitude of sea creatures in a large exhibit.

"She's like a completely different kid from just a week ago," Emily remarked as she leaned against Derek. "Talking, understanding and responding. I should've let her watch TV a long time ago. Here I thought that one-on-one time with me, reading books and drawing pictures, was what she needed."

"She does need you, to monitor her TV watching time," Derek teased.

Emily swatted his arm. "Very funny."

He grinned, bringing her hand to his lips to kiss it. "Did I mention you look beautiful today? I like seeing you like this, in shorts and sandals, all relaxed. Sunlight on your face."

His charm always had a way of making her weak in the knees. "I don't think I ever apologized for last week, the way I got kind of upset at you over the phone when you said you'd be home late," Emily recalled. "I'm sorry I've been a little high strung these days. But now I see you being late that night as a gift, because if we hadn't been watching TV while waiting for you we might not have found out Carly's love of Dora. I feel like I let her down by not exposing her to more TV sooner."

"Which is not normally the case when raising kids," Derek shook his head at the seemingly contrary thought.

"Yeah, who knew TV exposure could actually be good for a child's development?"

"In this case, yes," he could see her traveling back to previous thoughts of not being needed. "You know she never would have gotten this far in such a short time without your help. Without you she'd still be screaming her head off in Dr. Young's office, and living in a group home cowering under furniture when anyone tried to get close to her. She'd be filthy and hungry. But look at her right now."

Zach was standing close to Carly, answering most of her 'what is it' questions, which were plentiful.

Emily sighed contentedly. "She'll keep getting better, right?"

"As long as you help her," Morgan encouraged.

"Emily," Kate interrupted them. "Will you take me to the bathroom, please?" she politely asked.

"Go ahead," Derek said as he kissed Emily's cheek and let go of her hand. "I'll keep an eye on Carly." He watched Emily roll Kate away toward the restroom and then slipped into the spot beside Carly that Emily had just vacated, hoping not to alarm the girl too much. It didn't take long before she blindly grabbed at Derek's pant leg and pointed toward something large and pink that was moving around slowly in the tank.

"What is it?" she asked.

Morgan hunched down a little to get a better look. "That is a big 'ol octopus."

Her hand immediately pulled away from him when she realized he wasn't Emily. Carly looked up at him for a brief moment before her eyes scanned further afield.

"You're okay, monkey," Derek responded calmly to the obvious anxiety in her gaze. "Emily will be back in a few minutes. She had to help Kate go potty."

"Yeah," Zach joined in on the reassurance, "She'll be right back," he nodded confidently.

The girl dipped her head a little but pointed at the tank again. "What is it?" her already soft, tiny voice dropped several more octaves.

"Looks like a snail," Morgan squatted down to be at her level so he could see the item a little better. "Yep, he's just a snail. I think they eat lots of the little things in a tank and help keep the place clean," he said, somewhat uncertain but hoping she wouldn't notice his lack of knowledge.

"What is it?" Carly pressed her palm against the tank. "What is it?"

"I'm not so sure she's talking about the snail," Zach said as he crouched next to Derek.

Morgan could see that all the other aquatic life in the tank was out of view at the moment. "Do you mean the sand? Or the…"

She slapped her hand against the tank again. "What is it?"

He watched the girl and listened carefully. Her voice never rose in pitch; she wasn't frustrated that he didn't understand. She was just overly curious, thirsty for knowledge, as she pressed her forehead against the tank. Carly moved back again, her hands staying against the tank. Morgan watched her move back and forth again before he had a feeling he finally understood. "You talking about the glass?" he asked, tapping his finger against the clear, solid surface. "That's pretty cool, huh? The way it holds all the fish in there?"

Carly dropped her hands and looked up at him, the hint of a smile on her lips that her question had finally been answered.

"Hey, Morgan!"

The call of his name from a familiar voice that wasn't Emily led Derek to stand. He spotted JJ in the crowd slowly moving toward them. She was trailed by Will and Henry. Morgan grinned as he greeted the family of three. "Don't we see enough of each other during the week?" he kidded.

JJ laughed. "So true," she nodded. "But I was thinking about what you said about taking the kids to the zoo today and it sounded like a good idea for us, too. Where's Emily?"

"She took Kate to the restroom," Zach supplied. "You're agent Jareau. I remember you," the boy replied.

She nodded and shook the boy's hand. "I remember you, too. How are you?"

"Good," he smiled, put at ease by her kindness. Zach politely said hello to Will and Henry as they were introduced.

"JJ!" Emily called out from across the building as she pushed Kate toward the larger group than the one she'd left. Carly raced toward Emily and clung to her leg, burying her face from view. Emily tried to react normally, though she knew her brief separation from the girl had been difficult. "What are you doing here?" she embraced JJ the best she could with Carly at her hip then bid a friendly greeting to Will and Henry. "It feels like years since I've seen you," she lamented to her friend.

"Yeah," JJ agreed. "Well, someone decided to abandon the BAU in favor of being a stay-at-home mom. Are you trying to make me look bad?" she elbowed Emily lightheartedly.

Emily chuckled. "That could never happen," she replied, looking at how Henry was clutching his mom's hand. Emily instantly recalled a conversation between herself and JJ about five years ago in which JJ had mentioned Emily having kids being something she could see happening one day.

"Hi, I'm Henry," the little boy spoke to Carly's back, his breathy kid voice filled with sweetness.

Carly exposed one half of her face, left eye watching the boy as she silently held fast to Emily. "Do you want to say hi?" Emily prompted. "Henry's a good friend. Derek and I have known him since before he was born. You don't have to be shy, mouse."

"It's okay if you don't want to say hi, Carly," JJ added as she smiled at the little girl. Her hand hovered protectively at her son's back. "Henry has shy moments, too, especially when meeting new people," she revealed. "But when he saw you he told me he wanted to say hi."

The little girl stuck her thumb in her mouth and buried her face again.

Her shyness was quickly upstaged by the brief ringing of JJ's phone, which was followed quickly by the vibration of Derek's.

It was easy for Emily to guess what was up as they each read their text messages. "You have a case?" she asked.

Derek sighed as he met JJ's gaze for a moment. "Sorry," he turned to Emily and pressed a long kiss against her temple. "It's in northern California. Wheels up in an hour. I gotta go to the house first to grab my bag."

"Why don't I drive us," JJ suggested, looking to Emily. "You have room in your SUV to give Will and Henry a ride home, right?"

"Absolutely," Emily nodded as she watched Will and JJ share a goodbye hug.

Zach and Derek performed a semi-complicated handshake that Emily had never witnessed before. Will hoisted Henry into his arms and JJ kissed her son on the forehead. Morgan kissed Kate on the cheek and tenderly tweaked her nose. He said goodbye to Carly, but she wouldn't look at him. Just two minutes after receiving the message, Derek and JJ were gone. Will shared a sympathetic smile with Emily. "Sucks being a single parent sometimes, huh?"

"Kinda," Emily sighed.

xxx

They pulled to a stop outside of Kate's group home.

Emily had already dropped off Will and Henry after several more hours spent at the zoo, including a long picnic in which Carly had actually responded friendly to Henry. The day had been a good one, except she already missed Derek and he'd only been gone for a few hours. She set aside those feelings in order to help get Kate settled in her wheelchair. Emily pushed the girl to the front door of the building. It was two stories, concrete with glass and minimal landscaping. It looked more like an office building than a home.

"Why don't I grab Zach and Carly, we'll all walk you inside," Emily offered, realizing she'd never actually been further inside the group home than the reception desk where she signed Kate out for her visits. And Kate was always waiting outside or in the foyer for her. A slightly sick feeling in the pit of Emily's stomach told her the girl didn't want her to see inside the building. She watched Kate shake her head. "What's up?"

"Nothing," Kate sighed.

She crouched down in front of the girl's wheelchair. "Come on, kiddo, talk to me."

Kate nervously licked her lips, trying to stall, but finally gave in. "I have a doctor's appointment on Monday and I hate them. You'd think after all the doctors I've seen - the surgeries, all my time in hospitals – that it wouldn't be a big deal, but… I still hate it."

"Well, this time you don't have to go alone," Emily instantly replied. "I'll take you on Monday."

"Really?" Kate's green eyes brightened. "You will?"

"You betcha," Emily kissed the girl's forehead and stood. "I'll call Mrs. Dayton tonight and arrange it. Promise," she vowed. "You gonna be okay the rest of the weekend?"

"I will," Kate held up the giant book about birds that Emily had bought for her at the zoo. "I have a lot of reading to do on the flying species," she grinned.

Emily chuckled as she smoothed a hand over Kate's hair. "You are almost as bad as Zach with your reading. I'll call you tomorrow to set a pickup time for Monday."

The girl nodded and watched her friend walk away. "Emily?" she called out when the woman was nearly to the vehicle. Kate watched as Emily turned and smiled at her, and she could also see Zach and Carly's heads sticking out the window. Zach smiled and waved. "Thank you for today," Kate said.

xxx

Three mornings later Emily woke up slowly, snuggled against a familiar and warm body in her bed.

It took her a moment to remember that Derek hadn't been in their bed the night before when she'd fallen asleep. He hadn't even been home from his case. "Hey," she whispered, gently nudging against his chest. "I didn't even hear you come in."

"I know, I even tried to wake you," Derek groggily replied as he kissed her. "You were dead to the world."

Her eyelids struggled to stay open as she focused a little more on the new day. "I stayed up late," Emily yawned, stretched and then reached down to grab a spiral notebook off the ground where it must have dropped the night before. She placed the green-covered notebook on his chest. "Working on this…"

"What am I looking at here?" Derek sat up and squinted for a moment before sleep began to fade. He flipped the cover open and stared at a list of numbers.

She leaned against him again. "I took Kate to her doctor's visit yesterday. It's not good," Emily breathed out wearily. "I know she keeps telling us she's going to die, but I guess I never really believed it. The thing is, the doctor she's been assigned recently seems uninterested, not invested. Kids in the system have a certain amount of medical coverage, but her condition goes well beyond that. And this guy is the, I don't even know… tenth doctor she's had in five years. Which is why I've been doing this," she tapped the notebook.

"Still not sure what this is," Morgan blinked.

"Financial planning," she replied. "I've written out everything we own, your savings, my savings, equity in your house…"

"It's our house," he countered.

Emily smiled. "I appreciate the sentiment, but it's legally only in your name."

"We can change that if you want," Morgan suggested.

"That's not what I'm fishing for," she refocused on the data in the notebook. "Everything on this page is what we have and what comes in every month via your salary. And it's a very good salary but it's only the one and…" Emily took a quick breath as she turned the page, "This is our current monthly budget with the four of us living here. On the next page…"

Derek turned the page for her and looked at the heading across the top. "Monthly budget including Kate in our home," he looked to Emily with wide eyes. "Does this mean you've changed your mind?"

"I think I always wanted her with us," Emily confessed. "But look at the numbers, Derek," she insisted.

He did as instructed, really taking the time to digest the numbers even though he was still a bit sleepy. The budget woke him up pretty fast, though. "Is this all necessary?"

"That's not even the half of it," Emily sighed as she flipped the page again. "Kate needs a heart transplant; doctor says there's no other treatment or cure for her. The chances of getting a heart aren't great due to her rare tissue type, but if it does happen then this is the budget break down for operation, hospital stay, medications… she'd be on anti-rejection meds for the rest of her life and the testing to make sure there's no rejection."

"This…" Derek tapped the total at the bottom. "Seven figures?"

Emily nodded and kept explaining, "If she stays in foster care, or a group home, the state pays for her treatments. So she could live with us and we wouldn't have to pay her medical costs. However, the doctor they have her placed with, as I mentioned before, is not what I would call up to par. I'd like her to see someone else of our choosing. If we go into legal adoption we can chose the doctor, which also means we pay. And we pay for adoption costs as well, which aren't that cheap either."

"But it's not about the money, it shouldn't be," Derek's tone was somewhat annoyed.

"I know that," her hand went to his, fingers interlocking. "Except how do you get around it, Derek? I have a ton of money I've saved over the years because pretty much all I've ever done the last twenty years is work and go home to sleep…"

"And a few sin to win weekends in Atlantic City," he grinned.

She shook her head at him. "You know I'm never telling you about those. They're history anyhow," Emily declared. "And the point I was trying to make is that even with my savings we still don't have enough to cover this kind of major expense."

"So we sell the house," he said, immediately trying to work out a plan. "I did a ton of work on this place. It's worth a lot more than what I paid for it."

"And then what?" Emily shrugged. "We downgrade? Gain a third kid and move into a smaller house, how is that going to work? We're already pushing it by thinking about getting bunk beds here in Carly's room for the girls."

Morgan wasn't about to give up. "Then we move further out, cheaper places outside the city."

"And your commute to work goes up," she played the voice of reason. "The kids and I get to see you even less than we do now."

"Something's gotta give, Em."

She nodded and swallowed. "I go back to work."

"Is that what you want to do?"

"There was a time I never thought I'd want to _not_ be working, but now… given the choice I'd rather be here for Carly and Zach, and Kate."

"Then I say we go for it," Derek sat up straighter and tossed the notebook onto the floor where it landed with a soft thud. "Adopt the whole lot of them and become fiscally responsible for three kids. Get Kate the best doctor possible, find a slightly bigger place that's livable but maybe a semi-fixer-upper, still close to work, and we go into debt if we have to. We love them, call them our own, stay up late with them when they're sick, get up early for pancake breakfasts, share laughter and tears… the whole damn package."

Emily was fully swept up in his enthusiasm, but still wore a slightly worried smile. "You sound serious."

"I am very serious," he insisted as their foreheads met, eyes gazing at one another. "Do you remember my commitment proposal to you? And the promise we made to each other several months back, the promise that no matter what happens there'll be no turning back?"

"In the laundry room," she nodded, recalling the fond memory.

"And we talked about the possibility of kids," he further reminded her. "We said that if any kids should come into our lives that we'd welcome them, fostered, adopted or natural. We said we shouldn't be picky. That we should take on any kid who needs us. You remember that agreement?"

She smiled, wondering how she'd ever lived without him. "Yes, I do. So… you think bunk beds are the solution?" Emily asked.

Derek nodded, a giddy smile plastered to his face. "You know I love you, right?"

"You say that a lot," she chuckled. "I just hope you know what you're getting us in to with all this."

"I have no clue," he fully admitted. "But we'll do it any way," Derek kissed her, suckling her bottom lip for several moments. His hands slid down her back and fumbled with the hemline of her oversized t-shirt. "Just promise me that three is the limit?"

"At least until we get a bigger house," she teased, pulling her t-shirt back down, though it was difficult to resist his ministrations. "No, seriously, this is it. Three kids, one cat and maybe another dog at some point. I promise, if you promise?" Emily said between kisses. "You are the one who brought Kate into this family."

"Oh, I beg to differ with you there," Morgan laid her out beneath him, pressing his body against hers, not caring that her t-shirt and sleep shorts were still in his way. "You are the one who first met Kate at the shelter and then invited her into this house. The way I see it this is all of your doing."

Her head reclined against the pillow, a sharp bark of laughter escaping. "Nice, blame me."

He grinned as he further pinned her to the bed with his hands at her waist. "Oh, I do blame you. Fully." Derek kissed along one shoulder and then the other before dipping lower. "You might be interested to learn there's no need to sin in order to win with me, unless you wanna."

"Good to know," Emily replied before expertly twisting out of his embrace and leaving their bed.

"Hey," he was left with an open mouth, among other issues, as he watched her walk toward the door. "Where you going?"

She called over her shoulder, hanging in the doorway for a moment. "I need to make sure Carly is okay, she gets up real early," Emily explained before disappearing into the hall.

"You are killing me, woman… killing me," Morgan flopped onto his back, a whoosh of breath escaping his lips. "I'm up early, too, but I don't see you checking to make sure I'm okay," he lamented to himself. "I need to find a way to get her to relax more often," he informed the ceiling.

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	41. Middle

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

* * *

><p><strong>Middle<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>"You're doing too much," he declared.<p>

Emily stopped in mid-slice, a small knife stuck in the core of an apple in her left hand. She turned and noticed the serious face he wore while leaning against the kitchen counter. A mug of coffee in his hands sent steam spiraling toward the ceiling. With a dismissive shrug, Emily returned to her apple cutting task. "It's just breakfast," she said. "Carly usually eats a banana for breakfast but this morning I'm trying to broaden her world by offering an apple instead."

Derek glanced across the open kitchen to where Carly was sitting at the table, feet tucked beneath her legs. Zach sat across from her making funny faces at the girl as he munched on peanut butter toast. "I don't just mean this morning and the apple," his attention returned to Emily, dressed in her summer pajamas and her hair still somewhat messy from sleep. He abandoned his coffee mug on the counter and wrapped both arms around her waist. "Occasionally we can order in or eat a frozen meal. You don't have to be super mom."

The knife was set down as she turned to face him again, his arms now trapping her between himself and the counter. "I'm not trying to be super mom," she calmly informed him. "But I grew up with absent parents, Derek. I had nannies and house keepers. I want these kids to have something more than that in their lives. They deserve a real sense of family, attentive parents who care where they are and what they're doing, even what they're eating. They've already lost one set of parents."

"So you feel it's your duty to make up for that?" Derek asked.

"Isn't it?" her eyes narrowed a little, annoyance welling beneath her calm demeanor thinking he wasn't on the same page as her. "You're gone a lot, Derek, and I've learned to deal with that for the most part. But it means the majority of the parenting falls on me. And I want them to be happy, well-adjusted kids who succeed."

"Okay," Morgan could see the steam beginning to rise from her. He kept her close, kissed her cheek. "I admire the holy heck out of you, Em. And I admire your lofty goals for these kids, but what they really need is for you to be around. You don't have to jump through hoops on top of that. Just be there for them. That's it. And you can't be at your best if you're constantly putting them first. You need a break once in a while. And today I'm giving you a break."

She shrugged out of his embrace and dismissed his words, returning to the apple. "Don't be silly. Kate is coming over today to hang out with us."

"I know," Derek insistently turned her around again and looked her in the eye. "When did Zach come to live with us?"

"May," she responded, wondering why he was asking. "Middle of the month."

He nodded. "And Carly arrived in our lives about a month later," Derek stated. "Well, it's the end of July now. That means you've been doing this mom gig for the last two and a half months without a break," he pointed out. "Today, on this sunny Saturday, I'm giving you a break." Morgan finally let go of her in favor of grabbing a small brochure from a nearby drawer. "Here," he presented the leaflet to her and watched the recognition slowly spread across her face.

"This is a day spa…" Emily found herself intrigued as she flipped the pages. "It's expensive," she quickly dismissed the idea.

"Would you please forget the budget for a moment," Derek could see he had his work cut out for him with her tough exterior. "This is a necessary expense for your mental health," he insisted. "As well as my…" Morgan paused and decided not to make it about him. "Look, JJ and Garcia are going to pick you up here and the three of you are having a day out. You will stay away from the house and the kids for at least three hours of pampering and lunch, if not longer," he insisted.

The thought momentarily filled her with a giddy sensation, but it ended swiftly as she thought about the kids. "Again, I remind you that Kate was meant to be here with us today. I thought we were going to broach the subject of her living with us?" Emily reminded him. "And there is no way Carly's going to cope with me being gone for that long."

"I've got this, Em," Derek remained steadfast. "You go and pick up Kate this morning just like we planned, bring her back here. Then JJ and Garcia will pick you up, you go to the spa and I get to hang out with the kids all afternoon. I need to start pulling my weight around here," he said. "I mean, I want to… I want to spend time with the kids. And we can talk to Kate about living arrangements after you get back this afternoon."

"And Carly?" she asked.

Derek turned to look at the little girl in question who was still patiently waiting for her breakfast. "She needs to learn that you're not always going to be around, Emily. In small spurts, at least," he tried to ease the blow. "Maybe she'll hide out under her bed all day, and maybe she won't. But I think we need to start being realistic. If you do plan to go back to work someday then Carly is going to have to adjust. And you need to have faith that you've instilled enough confidence in her to learn to cope with new situations."

"I know you're right," Emily caved a little as she looked to Carly. "It's just hard."

He pulled her close again, kissing her softly. "I want this, too, Em. I want to be a better dad, spend time with them."

"What about food?" she couldn't quite let go yet. "Kate needs to eat healthy stuff and prepared meals are full of preservatives and salt and…"

"Slow down," he stopped her running off the rails again. "Tuna fish sandwiches are healthy, right. It's fish. We'll use that heart healthy mayo you bought, just a little. And I can cut a pretty mean carrot stick. I can handle this," Derek maintained.

Emily resumed cutting the apple, but glanced at the spa brochure again. "You're sure?" she asked, the idea growing on her. "What are you going to do all day with three kids?"

"Don't worry about us," he could see she was caving a little more. "I've instructed large groups of kids at the youth center where I grew up. I'll just get Zach, Carly and Kate involved in a game of football in the backyard. There might be some broken bones, but I know the way to the ER. And I'll feed them all a ton of ice cream since it's going to be hella warm out today. See," he shrugged, grinning from ear to ear. "I've got this."

She laughed, unable to be upset with him when he was being so sweet. "Okay, I think I get your point," Emily relented as she walked the apple slices over to Carly at the table. Derek sat down beside her at the table and they faced the kids together. "I'm going out for a little while today," Emily announced, looking more to Carly than Zach. "Derek is going to stay with you, mouse. And I'll be back in just a few hours," she explained to the girl.

Carly examined her apple slices and slowly began to bite in to one. Her blue eyes seemed to contemplate Emily's words.

"Maybe Derek can color with you," Emily pressed a little. "Or push you on the swing."

The girl shrugged.

"I'm not sure this is such a good idea," Emily spoke to Derek, her doubts kicking in again.

"Em, this is precisely why you need some time away," he replied. "Carly needs to learn separation is a part of life, and you need to learn that other people can take care of your kids for a short time. Actually, I think you need to learn about separation, too," he realized. "And you're going to that spa and you're going to have fun." Derek eyed Zach and winked.

"Yeah," the boy spoke up. "You should really go, Emily. We see you too much and we need a break from you and…"

Morgan's head shook. "Dial it down, buddy," he whispered. "That's not how we rehearsed it."

Emily smiled. "You pulled Zach in to your dirty scheme?"

"You make is sound so sordid," Derek chuckled. "He was just meant to help me convince you, but…" his head shook again as he looked to the boy. "Do not ever get in to acting, my man. It's not your forte. Trust me," he and the boy both nodded as they laughed.

Listening to Zach and Derek laugh set Emily at ease, and watching Carly hoover the apple gave her hope of change in the air. "Okay, I'll go," she agreed.

xxx

"So how are the kids doing?" Garcia asked.

The three of them were neck deep in mud baths, though their arms were somewhat free. Three concrete tubs were lined up along one wall, facing out at a tropical scene of trees and water features in the middle of DC. The exterior room let the warm summer sun in, but also shaded them nicely. The spa was more like a resort than a business. They'd even been offered drinks, but all opted for non-alcoholic given it was still early in the day. Emily sipped her iced tea as she turned to the woman at her right.

"Are you sure it's okay to talk about kids?" Emily asked. "I figure since Derek roped you two in to this plan of his he must have printed up special talking point cards. I guessed he would have left the topic of kids off as a means to help me relax."

JJ chuckled. "Don't be so hard on Derek," she said. "He only suggested the idea of a spa day to us. Garcia and I jumped at it."

"And we're happy to treat you to a fun girl's day," Penelope added.

"Wait a minute, this was…" Emily felt somewhat bad for how she'd treated Derek earlier. "The two of you paid for all of this?"

"Yes, but that is the last we will speak of money for today," Garcia insisted. "However… it does mean JJ and I get to pick the talking points, and I really want to know how your kids are doing. I haven't even gotten to meet little Carly yet, or Kate, although Derek talks about them all the time at work. I never thought I'd see my chocolate statue of a man so gooey over kids. I suppose it just took the love of a good woman. Woe that it wasn't me," she dramatically lamented, though jokingly.

"I only got to see the kids briefly at the zoo last weekend, but they all seemed so happy to be there," JJ recalled. "Will said Henry had a great time hanging out with them. And yesterday Derek mentioned you were going to ask Kate to live with you guys. I can hardly believe you have three kids now."

"You can't believe it?" Emily scoffed softly. "The last few months have been a rollercoaster for me. Don't get me wrong, it feels right to have all three of them in our lives but it's just… not exactly how I ever imagined my life working out. After all the crap I've been through, I…"

"Ugh," Garcia sighed. "Can we please not lament the regrets of our past this afternoon? Every time I see Kevin in the halls these days I just… wow, sorry, there I go. Seriously now, no more speak of the past. Let us focus on the present and the future." She looked to Emily again. "Any wedding bells in your future, my dear? I mean, three kids and a house and a cat together sounds like wedding material to me."

JJ could see the slightly dear-in-the-headlights look on Emily's face and tried to rescue her. "Not everyone needs to be married," she said. "Look at Will and I, we took several years and one kid between us before we decided to take the plunge. Of course there was that life and death situation in there as well, but… I say there's absolutely no problem with waiting."

"True enough," Penelope agreed. "At least one of the three of us had her fairytale wedding."

"I never really imagined it," Emily spoke up again. "A fairytale wedding. Not even when I was a kid."

"Speaking of kids again," Garcia shifted back. "How are yours?"

Emily grinned. "They're good, mostly. Zach is so ready to be back in school. He's one of those crazy kids that actually like the discipline of eight hours a day at school. The poor guy gets bored at home. I probably should've found him a summer camp or something," she shrugged. "Carly is talking a bit now, and bath time goes over better and better with each passing week. I feel like she's starving for knowledge, but is still a bit too shy to really take off. And Kate…"

"Derek explained her heart condition and all that," JJ offered, knowing it was probably a difficult subject. "I can't even imagine if Henry…"

"But she's not critical, right?" Garcia jumped in, trying to find the positive. "It seems like she has time to find a heart."

"Oh, she's got heart for sure," Emily smiled proudly. "That little girl has tremendous spirit. If anyone can fight and hold out for a new heart, it's going to be Kate," she nodded with utmost confidence. "In fact, I think I'm most worried about Carly of the three of them. I read in a book that kids' critical learning time is during the first five years. She'll be five in March, which only gives me about seven months."

"Yeah, well…" Garcia replied. "Get your head out of that book," she advised.

JJ nodded. "She's right. You can't raise kids based on a book. No two kids are exactly alike, even most twins can have different learning abilities and behaviors," she pointed out. "I think Carly is going to be fine. Honestly, with you in her corner, the next five years will be her prime learning time."

"You think?" Emily bit her lip.

"I know," JJ insisted. "Kids are adaptable. Once she starts to open up there'll be no turning back for her. "What do you think about setting up a play date for Henry and Carly?" she excitedly suggested, hoping to insert some more positivity. "Will said they interacted a little at the zoo. Well, mostly Henry talking and Carly shrugging, but…"

Emily smiled, "That would be Carly, our star shrugger in the family," she somewhat missed the girl but was very much enjoying her time with friends. "I think that is a great idea," she agreed. "Derek was right. I really did need this time away. I needed to remember that I have two of the best friends anyone could ever hope for. You guys are the greatest."

"Oh, go on," Garcia chuckled as she held her glass out, "I will drink to that," she toasted.

"To best friends," JJ joined in, though they were unable to clink glasses.

"And to relaxation," Emily concluded.

xxx

Emily stood behind them, looking in on Derek who was seated on the sofa between Kate and Zach while watching an old Star Wars movie.

"I was fought over," Derek said before turning his head toward Emily, having heard her enter through the front door and quietly try to sneak up on them. He held a hand out for her and Emily walked forward to take it. "Not by Carly, of course," he pointed to where the little girl was curled up with Sergio in the corner of the room. "But with these two I had to sit in the middle so they could both sit next to me," he grinned as any proud father would.

Carly heard Derek talking to someone and turned her head to spot Emily. The little girl jumped up, scaring poor Sergio and sending him sprinting toward the kitchen. Carly ran headlong toward Emily and buried her face against the woman's comforting legs. Emily held the girl close with one hand, kissing the top of her head. She was touched by how happy Derek seemed to be with the kids. And how happy Carly was to see her again. "I told you I'd be back, mouse," she whispered to the girl.

The child didn't speak, just held fast to Emily.

With both hands, Emily hefted the girl up on to her hip. "How was she?" Emily asked, walking around the sofa so she could join the group.

"Okay," Derek responded as Zach slid over so Emily could sit down next to Morgan. "But she wouldn't eat anything other than bananas."

"They're healthy," Emily said as she sat down between Derek and Zach, Carly on her lap.

Derek nodded softly. "Yeah, but how about eight or nine of them?"

"She didn't eat that many," Emily rolled her eyes, thinking for certain he was pulling her leg.

"At least that many," Derek insisted. "She was too scared to take any food from me so she kept snatching bananas off the counter. Finally I hid the last few from her, but then I felt bad for denying her food. And she probably hates me even more for it. I wouldn't doubt if her step-father did similar things, keeping food from her," he'd seen a lot in his life but the thought of anyone laying a finger on Carly or keeping food from her still made him shudder with anger that coursed through every vein.

"We can't keep berating ourselves for things that might have been done to her in the past, Derek," Emily said as she smoothed a hand over Carly's soft dark hair. "She's our responsibility now and we can't spoil her by coddling her. You were right to take the bananas away. Trust me. She needs to learn to eat the food we provide, whoever it is offering it to her. And you were right to insist that I take a day off, teach her that sometimes I might go away but that I'll always be back."

"Wow, you're strict," his brows arched.

"Too strict?" Emily worried.

"Nah, good amount of strictness," he assured her, kissing her hand. "Come here, you," Derek pulled her close, kissing her neck and working his way upward, along her jaw and finally reaching her lips. "I'd certainly like to put you in the middle," he whispered.

"Oh, really?" Emily asked, still mindful that Carly was snuggled against her other side. "The middle of what?"

"Me and my bed," Derek suggested.

She pulled back and swatted his shoulder. "Not in front of the children," Emily whispered.

He wore an exaggerated pout as he pretended to be hurt. "But later?"

"Later," she nodded.

"So you had a good day with your friends?" he asked, kissing her hand again.

"I did," Emily answered, "And is this what you've been doing all day? Watching TV?"

"We went outside this morning. There was swinging and football throwing and lounging on the grassy knoll. But then it got too warm so we moved back inside and played that annoying Candy Land game until I thought I might poke my eye out with a fork," Morgan cringed. "That was the point in which I decided to introduce the younglings to a classic."

"Good choice," she agreed. "And you call me the nerd in this family?" He silenced her with a long, passionate kiss.

"Gross," Zach groaned as he finally got off the sofa, disgusted by their kissing in only a way a teenaged boy could be. "Hey Kate, you want to go to my room and play checkers or something?" he asked. "Anything to get away from this," the boy shuddered.

Kate nodded as she stood. "I don't think there's anything wrong with it, they're just in love. But okay," she agreed to join him.

Derek and Emily laughed, not at all offended by their speedy departure. Carly was not about to leave Emily, though, so the three of them stayed curled up on the sofa watching Star Wars for another hour. "We were going to talk to Kate and the kids about her living with us, and the whole adoption thing," Emily mentioned when the credits began to roll. "But I haven't even gotten around to talking to Mrs. Dayton about adoption."

"I'm pretty sure Mrs. Dayton would sign off on us adopting the whole district if we were willing," Derek said. "Why don't we go upstairs and talk to the kids now?" In agreement, Emily carted Carly up the stairs because the little girl was still holding on for dear life. Emily was just glad the child didn't seem mad at her for leaving. They stopped outside Zach's room and were about to knock on the half open door when they overheard the kids talking.

"I worry that Derek will get shot again at work," Zach said as he jumped one of Kate's red checkers. "He got shot in the back because of me, because my dad shot him. And if I'd told someone about what my dad was doing to my mom, beating on her and stuff, then Derek wouldn't have gotten hurt," he lamented.

Kate shook her head. "That wasn't your fault," she insisted.

"That's what Emily and Derek say, but I don't know," the boy sighed.

"They took you in, Zach. They live with you," Kate pointed out. "They wouldn't do that if they blamed you."

He shrugged as they each made another move on the checker board. "What about your family?" Zach asked. "You never said what happened to your parents."

"They were spies in the CIA," Kate replied. "Always on the move around the world, taking out bad guys as a team. They weren't supposed to fall in love, but they did and they had me. But it wasn't safe for me to travel with them so they had to leave me here in the states at the group home."

Zach starred at her for a moment. "Is that for real?"

"No," she chuckled, fiddling with the red checker piece in her hand. "Truth is my legal name is Kate Doe. You know how when they can't identify someone they give them the name John or Jane Doe? Well, that's kinda of how I got my name. The nurse that helped deliver me gave me the name Kate, because it was her name I think. But I didn't have a last name because my mom abandoned me at the hospital after she found out I had a bad heart."

"That sucks," Zach said.

"I guess," Kate sighed before continuing. "A few years ago this woman came to visit me at the group home. She said she knew my parents; that they were meth dealers and users. She gave me a copy of a small newspaper article that talked about a man and a woman blowing up in a meth house explosion. She told me they were my parents."

"Do you think it's true?"

"Don't know why she'd lie."

The boy could see Kate was uncomfortable about it all, but he was still curious. "Why'd she tell you?"

"Said she finally got clean and felt guilty for her role in the whole thing," Kate revealed. "She claims my mother was her best friend and that she just wanted me to know she'd been a good person at one point in her life. Mostly I think the lady just wanted her sins absolved, probably she didn't care much what I thought about it all. I've never seen her again."

"You're better off that way," Zach figured.

"I guess," Kate shrugged. "You know you're real lucky, right? Getting to have Derek and Emily be your foster parents. I'd give anything for that."

Emily finally knocked at the boy's door, feeling bad for eavesdropping so long. Kate's last words seemed the perfect timing for them. She and Derek entered the small space. It was just big enough for a twin bed, a desk and dresser, but Zach seemed cozy in the room. He never complained about it. "We need to talk to you both about something," Emily said as she sat down beside Kate on Zach bed, with Carly on her lap again.

"What's wrong?" Zach asked with a cautious tone. "Did something happen? Is Derek leaving on a case or…"

"Hold on there," Morgan stopped the boy's fretting, at least the verbal part. "Nothing is wrong. Actually, Emily and I hope this will be a good thing but we want to discuss it with all of you first." He took Emily's hand and felt her warm strength radiating through their embrace. "We think Kate should stay here," he announced without any buildup.

"For the night?" Kate asked. "Like a sleep over? That would be fun. I could sleep on the sofa," the girl instantly agreed, not seeing what the big deal was.

Giving Derek's hand another squeeze before she let go, Emily moved her hand to rest against Kate's back. The child's body felt unnaturally fragile. Her tiny bones and pale skin made Emily's heart ache. "Actually, Derek and I were thinking about something a little more permanent like you living with us as our foster kid, just like Zach and Carly."

Kate's mouth hung open for a moment. "I… I don't think I should."

That response shocked all of them. Even Carly lifted her head from Emily's shoulder to look at Kate.

"Why not?" Derek asked, seeing Emily wasn't taking the girl's response well.

"I'd be too much trouble," Kate said with a steady voice, the kind that had learned to be guarded with many years of practice. "I have too many medical problems and you don't need that kind of complication in your lives. And I could be dead soon," her voice turned to a whisper. "I don't want Carly and Zach to have to go through that. Or you two either."

As the adults tried to stop tears from falling, Zach was the strong one. He scooted toward Kate and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "I've been worried for a long time about death," he revealed. "I told you about Derek being shot and how I worry it will happen again. But Emily and Derek taught me that death isn't something we can avoid. And if we think about it too much it will just make us miserable, because we'll never be able to enjoy life."

"He's right," Morgan sucked down his emotions. "We know the possibilities, butterfly. Emily and I have talked them over a lot lately, since meeting you. And we decided that the possibility of you not being part of this family is the worst outcome we could think of."

Emily kissed the girl's forehead. "Don't think about anything past this moment, sweetheart," she encouraged. "What do you want right now?"

Kate's smile was instantaneous. "To be part of this family."

"Done," Derek declared.

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	42. Inspection

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

**I hope to post a least one more story/part here before the New Year, but in case that doesn't happen I will take this moment to wish you all a very Merry, Happy and Safe Holiday Season!**

* * *

><p><strong>Inspection<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>Emily was happy that Kate had decided to live with them.<p>

But she wanted more from the future. She wanted what Derek had mentioned to her earlier in the week, his 'let's adopt the whole lot of them' mentality.

She glanced up at Derek who was still standing beside her in Zach's small room. With just a brief moment of eye contact between them he knew precisely what was on her mind and he nodded his agreement. "Guys, we need to talk about more than just Kate living with us," Emily began. She looked to Zach and then Kate. "Derek and I have been talking about making your living arrangements here permanent, which will probably be most beneficial to Kate due to our ability to pay for better medical care."

The young boy and girl stared at her for a moment, not comprehending.

"What she's trying to say," Morgan stepped in. "Is that we'd like you three…" he included Carly, though the girl only had eyes for Emily. "We want to talk about adopting all of you," he revealed with a slightly nervous breath.

"Seriously?" Kate wore a look that was stuck halfway between disbelief and pure joy.

"Absolutely serious," Derek assured her. "If we're financially responsible for you then we can get you the best doctor possible and…"

"I don't care about doctors," the girl interrupted. "Okay, I do, but…" Kate had barely masked tears in her eyes as she spoke. "I know I said you shouldn't take me in because I might die, but I was just trying to protect myself from the fact that even if you did take me in for a while you could always send me away again. But adoption…"

It broke Emily's heart to hear the girl speak about protecting herself from disappointment and heartache. The memory of listening to Kate talk about her meth addicted parents and their death, knowing what Zach and Carly had both gone through in their lives; all three of them were far too young to have dealt with such horrible adversity. "Sweetheart," she clenched her jaw in an attempt to stop her own tears. "We want you for good. If you want us."

"Heck yeah," the girl nodded.

Derek wore a content smile. "That was easy. Not sure we'll get the same answer out of Carly."

"You already have Carly's answer," Kate said as she regarded the younger girl seated on Emily's lap. "Just look at her. She trusts Emily more than anyone else," Kate declared. Her green eyes turned focus toward Derek, a sympathetic smile flashed for him. "And she didn't run and hide from you while Emily was gone today, which means she's learning to trust you, too. And with trust comes love. I think Carly's answer is yes."

"Good enough for me," Emily kissed Carly's forehead, still amazed that the little girl was so comforted by her presence.

The only one who'd been extremely quiet since the topic of adoption had come up was Zach.

Emily observed the boy for a moment, understanding that his road would be trickier to traverse. "It's okay if that's not what you want, Zach," she assured him. "You're the only one here who remembers having a good parent in their life. And the loss of your mother is still very fresh," Emily empathized. "But you are welcome to be a part of this family in any way you want, fostered or adopted, for as long as you want."

He nodded. "Okay," his word was a soft reply steeped in contemplation.

Morgan could see that Emily was hanging on by an emotional string. The heavy topic was a lot for all of them to digest and he decided they needed to change the mood again. "I think this special occasion calls for some celebration. My suggestion is we all go swimming this afternoon, and for a bite to eat."

"Kate too?" Zach came to life again.

"Yes, of course Kate too," Derek agreed.

Emily set Carly down on her feet. "We can drop Kate at home after swimming and dinner," she said, standing up. Carly latched on to her again in an upright position.

Zach frowned. "But I thought her home was going to be here now," he shrugged, "With us."

"It will be," Derek put a steady hand to the boy's back. "But not tonight."

The young boy still wore a furrowed brow, not at all impressed by the response. "Carly and I both got to go home with you pretty much right away."

"True," Emily nodded. "But we had a place for each of you to stay, a room and a bed. We don't have a bed set up for Kate yet. We have to have a bed for her in order to make it legal, and we still need to talk to Mrs. Dayton about all this. I called and left her a message this morning, but we can't do much without her go ahead."

"Kate can sleep in my bed tonight," Zach offered, not giving up without a fight. "I can sleep on the sofa for one night and no one has to know. Then tomorrow we can go to the store and buy her a bed so she never has to go back to the group home. Please?"

Morgan had to admire the boy's persistence. He was already a great big brother to both the girls. Sharing a glance with Emily, Derek could see she was somewhat at a loss as to why that wouldn't be a perfectly decent solution. "Why don't we all think on it while we go swimming," he made the most diplomatic suggestion possible, artfully infusing it with distraction.

"I don't have a swimsuit," Kate said as they all moved toward the bedroom door.

"Neither does Carly," Emily noted. The tiny child in question made it somewhat difficult for Emily to walk as she continued to rigidly latch herself against the woman's leg. "We'll go buy you both one on our way to..." she looked to Derek. "Where exactly are we going swimming? And is this within our budget? I know Garcia and JJ treated me to the spa, but we still need to be mindful of our spending."

He shook his head at her. "You need to stop being so worried about our budget. Today is for relaxing, remember?" Morgan gently scolded. "Rossi called up this morning, said he was throwing a barbeque pool party at his place this afternoon. We should probably take a salad or something, but no cost other than that and a couple of swim suits."

"But I…" Kate bit her lip. She tugged on Emily's arm and whispered in the woman's ear. Emily nodded and the three females stayed put as the guys disappeared down the stairs. "I think a bathing suit will show the scar on my chest, from my surgeries," Kate finally revealed.

Emily sat down on the top step with Kate and Carly cuddled around her. She pointed to her neck. "You see this scar?"

"I've noticed it before," Kate nodded.

"I got that scar from falling through a glass skylight in a building when I was tracking down a bad guy. It was pretty scary, but Derek and my team helped me. Eventually it all boiled down to this scar," Emily explained. "And I have another large scar on my abdomen from a more serious accident," she decided to leave off the bits about Ian Doyle and the table leg to her gut. "The point is, we all have scars, kiddo. You just have to learn to wear them proudly. And you should be very proud of yours."

Kate smiled with understanding. "Because they mean I'm still alive?"

"Exactly," Emily kissed the girl's cheek. "So, what do you say? Are we going swimming?"

"Okay, but I've never been swimming before," Kate revealed. "I don't have much muscle or energy to move around either."

"Then you'll be the perfect person to teach how to float," it was Derek's voice that wafted up the stairs. He smiled up at three of his favorite ladies. "I'm guessing Carly here has never been swimming either, but I can teach you both if you want," he offered.

An hour later, after a brief trip to the store, Emily sat on the edge of Rossi's pool. Her legs dangled over the side, feet and toes cooling off in the water. Carly was pressed against her side again, dressed in a pink bathing suit with pin-prick blue polka dots. Emily had smothered her and Kate head to toe in waterproof sunscreen due to their pale complexions. Kate was actually in the pool putting the waterproof part to the test. She floated on her back with Derek's support. Her new purple suit was appropriately decorated with colorful butterflies.

"Just relax and try to be weightless," Derek instructed.

The girl had her eyes aimed upward, starring at the clear blue sky. "You won't let go, right?" she checked to be sure.

"I won't," Morgan promised.

Emily smiled contently as she watched his interaction with the girl. She'd admired Derek Morgan for many years, his dedication to the job, the love and devotion he showed his mother and sisters. But watching him take care of the kids, and knowing he was with her one hundred percent in raising them, made her fall in love with him all over again. "What do you think, Carly?" she asked the girl at her side. "Do you want to try swimming?"

Carly laid her cheek against Emily's shoulder and held on tighter.

"I'll take that as a no," Emily chuckled softly as her eyes returned to the pool. Zach was splashing around, his gangly legs and big feet cutting through the water with ease. He'd mentioned taking lessons and now Emily could see it was true. JJ was in the shallow water with Henry. The three year old had on water wings to help keep him afloat, but both Will and JJ stayed close. Jack was in slightly deeper water, using his neon green kickboard to zoom around the pool. Beth laughed and chased Jack as she kept an eye on him.

"Hello, stranger," Hotch said as he sat down beside Emily.

"Hey," she greeted him. It felt a little strange to be somewhat of an outsider with the group after working with them all for so many years. Emily nodded toward the pool. "Nice to see you and Beth are still together. She's good for you."

The unit chief cracked a smile. "Not sure how I got so lucky," he nodded. "And you and Morgan…" there was a small pause. "Honestly not anything I saw coming," Hotch revealed. "But it suits you both. He's actually been more focused at work than ever before. I know that feeling, trying not to let home life interrupt with work. But he talks about all of you every chance he gets - Zach and Carly's progress and now Kate being in your life."

"Crazy, isn't it? Derek as a dad, me as a mom," Emily shrugged.

"Not at all," he replied. They silently watched the pool action for a while as Derek slowly removed his hands from beneath Kate's back without her knowing. "Kate seems like a real sweetheart," Hotch said. "If you didn't know about her medical problems you'd never guess it from her joyful spirit."

Emily nodded. "I wish positive spirit was enough to heal."

"Sometimes it can be," Hotch replied. He hesitated slightly before continuing. "Beth and I were talking about it last night, about Kate and the fight she has ahead of her. We couldn't imagine if it was Jack, but… well, we'd like to do something to help."

"Just being a friend is help enough," Emily insisted.

"The love and support of friendship is a huge help," Hotch agreed. "I know Jack and I never would've made it through Hailey's death without all of you. But I was actually thinking more along the lines of a fundraiser. Beth and I would like to organize a charity triathlon. All the proceeds would go to Kate, for her surgery and whatever other medical costs she'll need."

She tried to respond but was at a loss. "I don't know what to say," Emily admitted.

"Just nod," Hotch replied.

With a grateful nod she found two important words for him, "Thank you."

Hotch gently squeezed her shoulder and then jumped into the pool and swam toward the middle where Jack and Beth were hanging out. Emily sighed, feeling more weight lifted from her. She understood that the money raised would probably not cover half of what Kate needed in medical expenses, but the gesture gave Emily a renewed sense of hope. She looked out at the water again and watched as Derek swam toward her, his smooth muscled arms and legs slicing a path through the water.

Derek stood in front of her, water droplets rolling down his caramel-hued skin and landing on her thighs as he leaned in to kiss her.

"There are children present," Emily whispered as they both reluctantly cut the kiss short.

He grinned, looking to Carly. "Yep, one of them still hasn't braved the water."

Zach swam over and stood next to Derek. "Come on, Carly," he lightly slapped the water. "This isn't like a bath tub, it's for fun. For playing," the boy tried to entice her.

Emily glanced around nervously. "Where's Kate?"

"Relax," Morgan's left hand rested against her back as he used the right to point. Kate was still floating in the center of the pool. She was under the watchful eyes of Hotch and Beth, Jack circling the three of them like a shark on his kickboard.

Doing her best to let go of her concern, Emily turned to Carly. She could see the thinly disguised fear in the girl's blue eyes, the same as it always appeared at bath time. "I know the bad man hurt you in the bath sometimes," Emily did her best to delicately form her words. "But that bad man is gone now. He can't hurt you, Carly. No one here in this pool or at this party is going to hurt you. We're all friends and family here. You're safe here. And Zach is right, mouse. This pool is for fun only."

"You can swim or not," Derek added. "That's completely your choice."

Henry swam by at that moment, JJ trailing behind him. "Looka me, Em-ly," the boy called out. "I swimming!" he proudly declared.

"Yes you are, big guy," Emily chuckled as she kissed Carly's cheek. "You see Henry," she pointed out. "It sure looks like he's having fun. Do you want to join him?"

Carly pulled away from Emily a little and leaned over to stare at the water for a moment. She looked up again, her eyes moving from Derek to Zach. Then her little arms reached out to the boy. Zach shared a surprised look with Emily and then Derek, but he moved in closer and gently took the girl in to his arms. She sunk in the water up to her waist as Zach held on tight beneath her armpits to support her. Carly wore a shocked face for a second before she let her hands slap playfully against the water.

Seeing that she was on the verge of tears, Morgan pressed a kiss against Emily's temple and snaked an arm about her waist. "Big step," he remarked.

She nodded, watching Zach move slowly around the shallow end with Carly. "That is a pretty picture."

"Not as pretty as the hot mama next to me," Derek whispered, kissing her again on the lips. Both arms went to her waist as he pulled out of the lip lock and grinned mischievously. "But you need to get wet, too," he declared as he pulled her off her perch and tossed her into the pool.

A half hour later, Rossi stood by the side of the pool decked out in surf shorts and a straw hat. In one hand he held a plate piled with browned meat, a spatula in the other. "Burgers are ready," he announced to those in the pool. "I know they're not the fine Italian cuisine you've come to expect from me, but they do make good pool party fare."

"Sounds great," the adults all agreed as they began to collect their various children from the pool.

Everyone was drying off and gathered on the backyard patio when Garcia and Reid walked across the lawn to join them. Penelope's colorful summer getup stood out even more against Reid's khaki pants and white button shirt. "I finally wrestled Mr. Reid away from a documentary on slugs," Garcia proudly announced. "Now the party can begin!"

"It looks like I missed the swimming," Spencer said as the gang all began to fix plates of food, towels wrapped about their waists and shoulders.

Garcia opened her large floral printed tote bag. "Oh, no… not so fast, mister…" she pulled out a pair of swim shorts that were turquoise with a pink palm tree print. "You are not getting off that easy. After dinner, you and I are going to show this group how a pool party is done," she declared.

"Do I even want to know how you came across Spence's swim suit?" JJ asked.

"I don't own a swim suit," Reid replied.

"Precisely why I had to buy him this one," Garcia said.

"Okay…" Emily held up her hands and shook her head. "I think in the presence of little kids, none of us need to hear details about you shopping for Reid's undergarments." She shuddered, "To heck with the kids, I don't even want to know those details."

Zach held his plate out for a scoop of potato salad. "Can Kate have a hamburger?" he asked Emily.

"Maybe just half a one," Kate spoke for herself. "Those are too big for me to eat a whole one. And I can put healthy stuff on it, tomato and lettuce…"

"I doubt half a burger will kill her," Derek said before he realized the one word he probably shouldn't have used. "I just meant that in moderation it should be fine."

Amazingly, Emily was not overly emotional about his wording. She understood Kate's situation and so did the girl. Kate had already proven she wasn't afraid to use the term death so Emily decided it shouldn't be a taboo word for any of them either. "Well… what did you eat for lunch?"

"I had ice cream with caramel and chocolate fudge sauce," Zach answered. "Carly ate cookies and Kate had about a five pound grilled cheese with potato chips."

"Em, he's joking," Derek nudged the boy. "Would you stop it, she'll never take another day off." He faced Emily again with a serious look. "Aside from the banana eating monkey," he eyed Carly for a second. "We ate the lunch I told you about earlier, tuna fish and carrots. And I did let them each have one juice Popsicle for desert."

"True," Kate nodded. "I had orange."

"Yep," Zach agreed. "Mine was grape."

"Okay then," Emily caved. "I suppose Derek is right and half a burger isn't going to do much harm," she declared.

Morgan fixed a plate for Kate that satisfied Emily's healthy eating quota. Then he helped Emily fix a plate for Carly. They were just sitting down to eat when Garcia elbowed Emily and pointed to the smaller kids table. "Look at that…" Penelope spoke softly as she pointed to where the older three kids were eating. "How sweet, Jack is helping Kate pour her juice."

"You go, Kate," JJ smiled as all the adult eyes spied on the kids for a second. "Younger men are the way to go."

"Indeed," Garcia agreed.

"Excuse me?" Rossi did his best to look offended, one hand on his hip and the other waving the barbeque spatula in the air over his body. "What about your host?" he questioned. "Is this not the epitome of high class older gentleman?

Penelope grinned. "There are, of course, exceptions to the rule," she planted a soft, friendly kiss against Rossi's cheek.

The group erupted into laughter.

xxx

"Kids all tucked in?"

Emily crawled across the bed to where Derek was reclined watching a baseball game on TV. "Yep," she snuggled up beside him and reached for the remote. "Kate is in Zach's bed and Zach is on the sofa. Carly was so tired she conked out half way through Jemima Puddle Duck. I was kinda worried she might not let go of me all night, figured I was going to have to share her bed."

Derek glanced at the ceiling for a second and whispered, "Thank you, Jemima Puddle Duck."

She chuckled, flicking the TV off in anticipation of her thoughts coinciding with his. "I think we wore them all out with swimming and socializing today. Carly did amazingly well at Rossi's place, don't you think?"

He nodded. "I was proud of her today. She really missed you this morning, but she hung in there and stayed strong. There was no hiding under her bed. Mostly she kept a comfortable distance from us and played with Sergio a lot. Zach was able to push her on the swing for a while."

"Zach was great today, too," Emily acknowledged as she tossed the TV remote onto the floor.

"It's pretty impressive the way he's stepped up to the plate by being a big brother figure in the girls' lives," Morgan noted. "A little surprising given he's been an only child all his life."

"Yeah, but living here has given him a sense of responsibility which I think is good for him," Emily pointed out. "And I'm guessing that the situation with his father left him in a very protective mode in regard to his mother. I think that's just transferring over to the girls now. But as proud as I am of all three kids, I don't want to talk about kids any more tonight," Emily let him know with a tender kiss that grew less chaste with each passing second. "I believe someone promised to get me stuck between him and a bed…"

"How traditional of you," Morgan grinned, wrapping his arms around her and shifting her weight so he could follow through by pinning her against the bed. "I knew getting you to relax a little would work in my favor."

"Excuse me?" Emily pushed her hands against his chest, keeping him at a distance for a moment. "Was the spa thing all a set up just so you could have sex with me?"

"No…" his initial reaction was defensive, but he knew she'd easily see through it. "Okay, probably a little. I do enjoy sex with you, a lot. I'm not about to lie about that. And it's been a while, which I know is mostly my fault with the crazy work schedule, but some of it has been you. I hate that you've been too tired lately to have any fun."

Emily quickly got over her petty anger at his trick. She saw it more as a thoughtful gift than a trick. "I am still very tired right now, but that's not going to stop me from having a little fun," she kissed him again, pulling his body even closer against her. "I enjoy sex with you, too, Derek," her voice was thick with desire. "A lot…"

xxx

"Just give me five more minutes."

Morgan chuckled at her as she tried to push him away. It was already nine o'clock on Sunday morning and the sun was streaming in brightly through the blinds, promising to be another hot summer day. They'd kicked the sheets off at some point during the night due to the weather's heat, as well as their body heat. The old home had been remodeled well, but it lacked air conditioning. He reached out and caught her by the waist, letting his fingertips brush lightly against the sensitive flesh beneath her armpits.

"Stop it," Emily groaned. "You're cruel."

"And you are not a morning person," he grinned. "The kids have been awake for a while. I can hear them downstairs watching TV."

That caused Emily's eyes to pop open with worry. "I always check on Carly first thing, make sure she's okay and..."

"Chill a moment longer," Morgan cut her off. "I'm sure Carly and Kate are fine with Zach in charge."

Emily nodded sleepily, snuggling up beside Morgan as she did her best to quell any worry over the kids' wellbeing. It didn't last long. "I'm worried about how Zach is taking the news of us wanting to adopt him."

"He just needs a little time to think it over," Derek was confident.

"So if the kids are fine, as you insist, does that mean you'll let me sleep for another ten minutes?"

"A minute ago you said you just wanted five more minutes," he called her out.

Her eyes rolled. "Details," she yawned and closed her eyes.

"You can have your five minutes if I get five minutes," he whispered in her ear.

She couldn't help the smile that formed. "You got way more than five minutes last night, which is why I'm so sleepy this morning."

"Lightweight," Derek teased as he made moves to further keep her awake.

"Derek, we can't... the kids are..."

"I haven't heard any sign of them being in danger or..."

"Emily!" Zach's voice interrupted, his shout carrying up the stairs. "Derek!"

They both jumped from bed and rushed out of the room toward the sound of Zach's shouts. All thoughts of sex and sleep were deleted from their minds as they frantically raced down the stairs. Emily was thankful they had at least put on some form of clothing after their love making the night before, even though Derek was only clad in dark blue boxer briefs. He reached the living room first and Emily skidded to a halt beside him.

"What happened?" Morgan asked.

"Who's hurt?" Emily added.

The three kids were seated on the sofa, which was a mess of blankets and pillows from Zach's overnight. Carly was nestled close to Kate, Sergio curled on her lap. Zach sat on the edge of his seat, aiming the remote at the TV screen which was paused on a shot of something blurry, purple and black. He turned when he noticed the adults. "This is so funny, I wanted to show you." The boy resumed the Netflix show, revealing an episode of Sesame Street in progress.

"We found out Carly loves Sesame Street, too," Kate smiled.

On the screen, Count Von Count was adorned with his ubiquitous cape as he began the act of counting oranges in an exaggerated manner. Carly joined in shortly. "One..." the girl began to imitate the character's unique voice. "Two, three..." she repeated. "Ah… Ah… Ah!" Carly exclaimed along with the counting vampire Muppet.

Kate and Zach had started laughing before Carly got to the "Ah… Ah… Ah" part. And Derek and Emily joined in right after that particular bit. The little girl watched them with curious contemplation as she repeated her routine for them, noticing that they laughed again when she did it. They were all so consumed with laughter that they nearly missed the ringing of the doorbell. Emily managed to pull herself away from the group, awed by Carly's behavior and more optimistic about her continued progress in life.

She swung the door open and spoke before even registering who was standing in the doorway. "Welcome to the Morgan residence…" Emily laughed as she heard Carly repeat the routine again. "Home of the good kind of crazy," she quipped.

"Sorry to interrupt the craziness," Mrs. Dayton wore a smile, amused by the woman's greeting. "But I was in the neighborhood and I got your message yesterday."

Emily was instantly embarrassed by the way she'd answered the door for the social worker. "I'm the one who's sorry. I didn't realize it was you, I didn't expect…" she gave up and waved the woman inside. "We were just…"

"Having an enjoyable Sunday morning?" Dayton guessed as she peeked into the living room where Derek was huddled on the sofa with the kids, all of them watching as Snuffleupagus and Big Bird performed some song and dance about friendship. "Not to worry, this is just a surprise inspection."

"Inspection?" Emily gulped and chewed her bottom lip. "I called Ms. Keller last night about Kate staying overnight with us, she said it was fine. And I'm sorry we had Zach sleep on the sofa down here," she noticed the mess of blankets and cringed. "We gave Kate his bed, but I promise that will never happen again."

Dayton smiled again. "Relax, I was joking. There's no inspection," the woman assured her. "I spoke with Ms. Keller last night and I'm just here this morning to talk about your phone call and the adoption issues you wanted to discus. You mentioned Derek taking care of the kids, so I assumed he'd be around."

"Hi," Derek stood and walked around the sofa, having heard the woman's voice earlier. He reached out to shake her hand and then glanced down at his attire. "You know what, I'm gonna go… uh, put something else on." He gave Emily a quick kiss before darting up the stairs.

"It's nice of you to stop by on a weekend like this," Emily said as she led the woman to a chair in the living room. "Derek does his best to be home on weekends…" she took the remote from Zach and turned the TV off. "We don't normally let the kids watch much TV, but…"

"Carly loves TV," Kate grinned.

Zach nodded. "She talks more when we watch TV."

As if on cue, Carly repeated her Count imitation. To which Mrs. Dayton's eyes widened. "Have I met this little girl?"

"That's Carly," Zach responded. "You know her."

Emily chuckled. "I think Mrs. Dayton just meant that Carly is not exactly the same quiet little mouse that she remembers."

"Not even close to the same little girl I remember," Dayton agreed.

"Oh," Zach nodded, always taking things very literally.

Morgan returned clothed in running shorts and a t-shirt. "It's good of you to join us on a weekend," he echoed Emily's earlier sentiment.

The social worker nodded. "My two kids have summer jobs, even on the weekends. They're good about helping out with extra costs since social work and teaching salaries don't cover two college tuitions very well. And my husband plays eighteen holes of golf on Sundays, thankfully afforded by my wealthy brother-in-law," she supplied. "Could we talk privately?"

"Yeah, sure," Emily looked to the oldest child on the sofa. "Zach, why don't you help the girls get some breakfast, please?" she suggested. "Maybe some fruit and cereal."

"Okay," Zach ushered the girls out of the room.

"At least some fruit!" Emily called after them. She turned her full attention back to Dayton. "I kinda hate asking him to help out, but he's great with both Carly and Kate."

"And occasionally you deserve a break," the social worker agreed.

Derek sat beside Emily on the sofa and took her hand. "I know we should have talked to you first before asking Kate to live with us, but…"

"Emily…" Dayton stopped her from going on. "I'm not upset with you about that. Honestly, I have no issue with you adopting all three of them if that's what you want. And I think Kate will do great here with Zach and Carly and the two of you to look after her.

"So will you be the one reviewing our adoption requests?" Morgan inquired, hopeful.

"I'll give a full report of the children's history and my views on your application," she confirmed. "I don't foresee any major road blocks. Carly and Kate don't have any living family. Zach only has his aunt and I doubt she'll stand in your way. But I am concerned about Kate more than the other two children. I want you to be sure you know what you're getting in to with her, and I don't just mean monetarily. I'm talking about emotional issues."

"We understand," Emily replied with conviction.

"It could be a very hard road with her," Dayton felt it necessary to be thorough and hammer her point home.

Emily squeezed Derek's hand. "We know," they said together.

"With a potentially unhappy ending for Kate, and for you and the other children," the woman added.

"The two of us have gone over it a few times now, we've even talked it over with Kate," Morgan took a moment to elaborate, letting Dayton know their intentions were not just a whim. "Emily and I both believe that giving Kate a home and a family, if even for just a few months, will make it all worth it."

"We understand that losing Kate would be devastating," Emily joined in. She took a deep breath, trying not to think about that horrible possibility. "I hope that isn't the ending we get. But guarding ourselves against that pain by not loving her… it's just not an option. Kate has already changed our lives for the better."

The social worker nodded. "If I had about a hundred thousands more foster parents like the two of you…" her head shook away that daydream. "Well, I won't waste any more of your time," she stood. "We'll get the process rolling right away."

"Does this mean Kate can stay with us starting now?" Emily asked as the three of them stood.

"As long as you find the girl her own bed," Dayton grinned.

Derek and Emily walked the woman to the door, thanking her profusely for her time, concern and all of her help. They found the kids in the kitchen and a huge mess of cereal and milk scattered over the tabletop. "How long were we in the other room?" Emily sighed as she stared at the disaster area. "And where is your fruit?"

Carly proudly held up the half eaten banana in her left hand.

"Is Kate staying with us for good now?" Zach asked.

"Well…" Derek grabbed a bowl and joined the kids, pouring cornflakes and milk for his breakfast. "I think we should all get dressed after breakfast and pile into the car and…"

Kate and Zach each paused mid-bite, spoons dangling over their bowls as they anxiously awaited a real answer.

"Stop torturing them," Emily chuckled, covertly slicing banana onto Zach and Kate's cereal when they weren't looking.

Morgan swallowed a bite and nodded. "Our first destination should be the furniture store to find a set of bunk beds," he finally revealed. The kids both sent their hands into the air above their heads and cheered. "And then we'll have to buy new sheets to go with the new beds."

"Can I get purple sheets?" Kate asked.

Emily shared a glance with Derek before she answered the girl. "You may have any type or color of sheets you want, the budget be damned."

"That's a bad word," Zach said as he resumed eating.

"I abhor bad words," Kate tsked.

"Abhor?" Morgan's head shook in amazement. "This girl and her vocabulary. She was definitely meant to be your daughter, Emily."

Kate smiled. "We don't have many books at the group home so I liked reading the dictionary best of all."

"Stop number three on our shopping itinerary today," Emily said, "Should be a book store. And stop number four will be the group home so we can drop off the new books we're going to buy for them, and pick up Kate's stuff," she declared.

"Really?" Kate asked.

Derek abandoned his cereal and moved to where Emily was standing in the kitchen. "You sure we have the budget for that?" he teased.

"Well, I know we can't afford to take on any more kids, so books are a nice way to make a difference on a smaller scale," Emily concluded.

"You're amazing," he captured her lips with his.

She happily melted into his embrace. "Nah, I'm just a good person," Emily shrugged, gazing into the soulful depths of his eyes. "And it takes one to know one. You make me a better person, Derek Morgan. I'd be lost without you," she concluded before initiating a second kiss.

"Gross," Zach shook his head.

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	43. Momentous

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, Criminal Minds.

**So... the world didn't end yesterday. I guess that means I get to write more fan fiction! Thanks for reading!**

* * *

><p><strong>Momentous<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>Emily sat in the back of the cab.<p>

She ran both hands through her hair as her eyes gazed out the car window at the small, two-story house. It was dark outside and the porch light was on, as well as what she imagined was a living room light. But her biggest clue as to the occupant's whereabouts came in the form of his dark SUV parked in the driveway. Emily sighed, still not making a move to open the car door even though she could see the driver staring at her through the rearview mirror.

"Are you getting out here?" the man asked, stroking his full white beard. "Or is there somewhere else I can drop you tonight?" he asked with a kindly tone, not seeming upset that they'd been sitting there for nearly five minutes.

"No, this will be fine. I'm sorry for wasting your time," she reached into her bag and pulled out the appropriate cab fare plus a small tip for the man's patients. Emily smiled for him. "Thank you," she said, pressing her weight against the handle to push the door open.

"You need me to wait?" the old man asked.

Her head shook as she stepped out of the cab and spoke to him through the open door. "No, thanks," Emily pulled her black wool coat tightly across her chest. "I need to do this and if there's an opportunity to run again, well…" she shrugged and left it at that as she closed the door.

The cab slowly pulled away from the curb, leaving Emily on the sidewalk to once again stare up at the small house. "This is ridiculous," she whispered to herself. "You flew all the way here from London and you're not backing out now," Emily delicately admonished herself.

She silently repeated those same words in her head all the way to the porch. Emily mumbled them again as she pressed the doorbell button and stood nervously tapping her foot and shivering against the cool December night air. Laughter suddenly bubbled from somewhere deep in her throat, a nervous uncontrollable fit of giggles that surprised her as she waited, thirty seconds stretching out into what felt like hours. "Get a grip," she tried to compose herself.

When the door finally opened she was still trying to calm herself, a nervous grin perched on her lips and a feeling something akin to elephants stomping around inside her stomach. "Hi," she said simply, feeling like a foolish teenager as she stared at Derek's surprised expression.

"Emily?" he smiled despite his shock at seeing her on his doorstep. "What the heck are you doing here?"

"Visiting my parents for the holidays," she shrugged. "But they're at some fundraiser tonight and I wasn't in the mood to hobnob. So I thought I'd see what you were up to tonight."

"I'm honored," Morgan said, still somewhat taken aback by her sudden presence. "But I kind of have plans to spend the evening with a cute young blonde," he revealed.

"Oh," the elephants in her stomach all jumped and got caught in her throat. She felt like crawling under a rock at the moment, but did her best to play it off. "Of course, I should've called first. It was silly of me to think you'd be free on a Friday night."

"Why don't you join us," Derek suggested.

The proposal made her feel lousier, if that was even possible. Emily chuckled awkwardly. "That's, uh, nice of you to offer," she did her best to remain diplomatic about the disaster that had become of her bright idea. "But I really don't want to be a third wheel between you and some young woman you plan to ogle over dinner and try to take home afterwards."

Morgan chuckled. "The young blonde I was referring to is Henry. I'm babysitting. And I'm a little offended that you think so little of me."

Emily's mouth hung open for a moment before she licked her lips. "I really don't think… sorry. You're babysitting Henry?" she changed the subject real quick.

"Don't sound so surprised," Derek pretended to be hurt by the undertone of her comment. He couldn't keep up the ruse for long, though. "Okay, so I was third in line to be asked after Garcia and Reid told JJ they had plans for the night."

"Reid has plans on a Friday night?" she asked.

"See, now there's a reason to be surprised," Morgan agreed. "There are those that believed the world was going to end or be turned upside down today, or some sort of other foolish prophesy thing about December twenty-first and the end of the Mayan calendar. Me not having a date on a Friday night is pretty earth shattering," he grinned, actually feeling a bit nervous. Or maybe it was just the chilly air on his porch causing his discomfort. Or maybe it was the distraction of Emily showing up. "Come with me tonight," he offered again.

She only thought it over for a second. "You sure you want me to tag along?"

"I wouldn't have asked otherwise," he replied. "JJ and Will are going to his precinct holiday party. They'll probably only be gone a few hours, afterwards you and I could get a late bite to eat if you want, give us time to catch up a little. And I know JJ would love to see you, if only for a minute or two before she leaves for the party."

"Sounds good," she agreed.

xxx

"Emily?" JJ yelped excitedly when she answered the door to find the unexpected visitor. She cheerfully wrapped her arms around her dark haired friend and hugged her for several seconds before even allowing Derek or Emily inside. "What the heck are you doing here?"

They moved into the living room. "I keep getting that reaction from people," Emily grinned as she shared a quick hug with Will.

Henry came bounding into the room with a unique hop-step. "Hi Dewek," the boy welcomed his babysitter with a sweet smile. When he noticed Emily his smile widened a little. "Hi, Em-ly. You not on the Skype?" the boy asked.

She chuckled, having kept in touch as much as possible with JJ via Skype, phone and texting. Henry always liked to say hi on the computer screen. "I came for a real visit," Emily let him know. "And I was hoping I could stay here tonight with you and Derek. What do you think?"

"Can she?" Henry asked his mom.

"Sure," JJ agreed. "Although now I want to stay home and hang out with her, too," the woman added.

Emily admired her friend's festive green dress and shook her head. "Oh, no," she replied. "I think Will deserves a night out with you in that amazing outfit," she insisted.

Will nodded as he pulled JJ close. "I agree."

"Then get out of here, you two," Derek ushered them toward the door.

"Okay," JJ grabbed her purse. "There's a list of contacts on the fridge and I wrote down a few bedtime procedure things that are good to follow. And he's been a bit excited tonight about having a babysitter, fresh blood. So expect to be asked to play a zillion games. He ate dinner already but he can have one c-o-o-k-i-e at least an hour before b-e-d, and…"

"G-O," Emily spelled, pushing JJ out the door.

With his parents out of sight, Henry immediately took one of Derek's hands and one of Emily's and led them both to his room. The boy began to pull out every game he owned, which thankfully was only about six. "I like Chutes and Ladders best, but we can play checkers if you want or Hi-Ho Cherry-O or…"

"Chutes and Ladders sounds fine," Derek sat down on the floor. "How about you, Emily?"

"Excellent choice," she nodded joining the two guys on the carpeted floor.

A half hour later Derek spun the wheel and got a number four. He moved four spaces and ended up on a chute that sent him spiraling backwards through the game. "No way, how can I go from being ahead to last place?" Morgan lamented.

"It's just a game," Emily patted his shoulder in a patronizing manner. "Let's show Henry good sportsmanship," she winked.

The four year old spun the dial. "I got the number three," he announced, picking up his little blonde haired and overall clad character piece. "One, two… three," he counted. Number three landed him on a space with a ladder that took him to the end of the game. "I win again!" he exclaimed triumphantly.

"This game is rigged," Morgan frowned. "That's three games in a row he's won. He obviously knows some sort of secret we don't."

Emily laughed at how despondent he actually seemed over the matter. She hadn't been successful at the game either, but she decided to take a more diplomatic approach and change the subject. "I think it's about time for a snack. Maybe a cookie?" she suggested.

"Oreo," Henry nodded as he helped Derek clean up the game board and store the game back in one of his toy cubbies. He was up and out the door, headed for the kitchen before the adults had even extracted themselves from the floor.

"Are we old?" Derek asked as they walked together down the hall.

"I'm not," she smiled. "Not so sure about you, though."

"Very funny," he tried to be hurt but he was having too good a time with her and Henry. The boy was waiting for them in the kitchen pantry and pointing to the top shelf where the cookies were. "I got this," Morgan said as he easily reached the package which had been put out of reach from little hands. "One cookie, coming right up," he removed a black and white sandwich cookie and then proceeded to make it zoom around the kitchen like an airplane. "And here it comes, in for a landing on the table," Derek concluded, setting it down for the boy.

Henry smiled happily as he ate the cookie, babbling about airplanes.

Emily gave Derek one cookie and took one for herself as well. They sat down with the boy. "After this is pajama time, right?" she asked.

"Yep," Henry nodded. "But I no sleep for 'nother hour," he made sure they knew.

"Of course," Morgan agreed. "And what should we do in that hour leading up to bedtime?"

"More Chutes and Ladders?" the boy's blue eyes widened with hopefulness.

"Nooo," Derek exaggerated his response is a deep voice which caused Henry to giggle.

"You sore loser, Dewek," the boy grinned, cookie crumbs in the corners of his mouth.

It was sweet to watch the two of them interact. Emily realized she'd been missing out on a lot of the little boy's life by being away. "How about a puppet show?" she suggested. "Have you ever had a puppet show production in your living room?"

Henry's head shook and he looked very interested. "How we do that?"

As soon as their cookies were consumed, hands were washed and pajamas were donned, Emily began the puppet theater construction.

She instructed Derek and Henry to position two dining chairs about three feet apart. Then they draped blankets over the top and bottom leaving a small opening between the two chairs. As the guys built the theater, Emily found items to make puppets out of. She used two socks, one red and one yellow. The red one she adorned with white bread twisty ties taped to the top like antenna. The yellow sock had green safety pins sticking out up top. And each of them had shiny star stickers for eyes.

"These are alien puppets," Emily informed the boy. "Are you ready for Derek and me to perform the show for you?"

He nodded enthusiastically and sat on the floor, front and center with his legs curled up beneath him.

Derek took the red puppet and stared at it as if it might explode in his hand. "What do I do with this?"

Emily dragged him behind the chair theater and they sat close, hunkered down so only their hands would be visible on stage. She slipped her puppet on as demonstration, making sure her hand formed the alien's mouth. "You just make stuff up," she whispered. "I'll start." Emily made her alien wander out onto the stage. "Oh, no," her voice changed into a squeaky, slow robotic sound. "Where have we landed, Luth? This planet doesn't look like home."

"I don't know, Boris," Morgan made his alien puppet appear next to hers, but his voice was normal. "This looks like…"

"Like the moon surface of Velos," the Luth puppet said.

"Yes, it's… um, very dusty here. Don't these beings ever clean up after themselves?" Morgan stammered, not knowing what to make of his odd routine. "Maybe they need to hire the cleaning robots of planet Roomba," he said. "I hear they like to clean, a lot…"

"Cleaning robots?" she sighed. "This is the worst puppet show ever," Emily whispered to her fellow sock acting puppet. "Look, Boris!" she exclaimed in the puppet voice. "This planet is being invaded by the furry night-walkers. We have to do something to help!"

Not sure where she was going, Derek tried to think quickly. "Let's jump into my space mobile and get help from our friends, Luth," he suggested.

"No, Boris. We don't have time. Look, the natives on this planet are being destroyed. They're helpless, defenseless. But I think we can help them. Remember how to use your death ray power, Boris? We just have to hold hands and direct our thoughts toward the bad guys."

"Okay, I can do that," Derek continued to play along.

"Don't be scared, Boris," Emily maintained her alien voice. "We can't be hurt if we stick together. We have to have each other's backs. If they separate us we don't stand a chance against their superior power. Feel the power flowing between us."

Resisting the urge to break out laughing, Derek kept going with her. Mainly because he could see that Henry was enthralled with their ridiculous production. "I can feel it, Luth. What do we do with it? How do we aim it at the furry thingamajigs…" he leaned closer to Emily. "What are they again?"

"The furry night-walkers," Emily said loudly in her alien tone. "Just focus your eyes on them, Boris. That's how our power will emerge, in deadly eye death rays."

"Should we be talking about death rays?" Derek asked. "He's only four."

"Actually, I think they're stunning rays," Emily corrected. "They don't kill anyone, just stun them so they learn an important lesson," she dipped in and out of the alien voice, sometimes mixing in a random accent that was East Indian and sort of Jamaican at the same time. "They're getting closer, Boris…"

The play continued until the furry night-walkers were all stunned, lying motionless on the planet's surface. Luth and Boris were revered by the native population, given praise and offered monetary reward. They, of course, refused the money and soon took off back to their home planet where they retold their glorious moment in history to all their friends and family. And then, much to Derek's surprise, they ended up married with three little alien babies.

"I thought they were both guy aliens," Morgan whispered.

"No, mine is female, yours is male," she assured him. "The End!" Emily declared in a louder voice.

Henry clapped his hands merrily. He jumped up and greeted them when they came out from behind their theater. "That was rewly good. I like the aliens Boris and Luth, they were heroes. Can we have another puppet show? Pwease?"

"Sorry, pal," Derek removed his hand sock puppet. "Your hour is up and it's time for bed."

"I'll tuck him in, if you'll take down the theater," Emily suggested a divide and conquer tactic.

"Deal," he agreed.

Emily led Henry down the hall to the bathroom where she patiently waited as he brushed his teeth and went potty, clearly trying to drag out the time before he had to go to sleep. But he slipped into bed without a fight and snuggled down under his superman bedspread. "You comfy?" she asked.

Henry nodded. "I like you, Em-ly. You funny. I like you voices with the puppets. Dewek didn't do voices like you did. I want you to do that again. Why you not visit me much?"

"Well, buddy," she smoothed a hand over his silky hair. "I haven't been able to visit much because I moved far away from here, across the ocean…"

"How far is that?"

"Pretty far, thousands of miles."

His mind tried to process that, but he didn't really get it. "Oh, why?"

"I took a job over there in London," Emily let him know.

"Why?"

She smiled, not at all annoyed by his many questions. She loved how curious he was, how full of life and love. How he didn't seem to have any inhibitions about life. "Well, buddy, I thought I needed a big change in my life and the job was a good opportunity for me."

"But you miss Dewek?"

"I do," Emily didn't deny it.

The boy yawned, his eyelids growing heavy and droopy even though he was fighting it. "He you boyfriend, wight?"

"Uh, no," that question caught her off guard. "He's not."

"But he likes you and you like him," Henry pointed out plainly. "You laugh together. Mommy and daddy laugh together."

Emily smiled at the simple way he spoke and observed things. "Derek does make me laugh," she couldn't argue that fact. "Derek is a really good guy. The kind of guy I could see myself…" she sighed, not letting her head go there again at the moment. "It's time to close your eyes, kiddo," Emily encouraged, tucking the covers up around his chin.

"And dweam of Christmas?" Henry smiled.

She nodded. "That sounds like an excellent thing to dream about."

Henry reached out to touch her hand. "Will I see you at Christmas?" he asked in a whisper.

"Maybe," Emily kissed him goodnight on the forehead. "Now go to sleep."

"Night-night, Dewek," Henry called softly across the room before closing his eyes.

Emily glanced over her shoulder to find Derek hovering in the bedroom doorway. She got up and walked toward him. "Goodnight, Henry," Derek replied softly before Emily closed the boy's door. She left a small crack so the hallway light could shine through, via JJ's bedtime instructions.

"How long were you standing outside Henry's door?" she asked as they walked back to the living room.

"Long enough," Derek's voice was serious as he took her hands in his and stopped her as they stood by the sofa. He looked her in the eye for a moment before speaking again. "You ready to tell me the truth about why you're here."

His hands grasping hers sent Emily's thought tumbling back to the warehouse in Boston the day Doyle had tried to kill her. Many details about that day were still foggy in her mind, except for the touch of Derek's hand. "You invited me to tag along," she responded.

"Not here at JJ and Will's place," he could see her dodging the issue but he held fast. "I mean here in DC. I know you don't get along well enough with your parents to spend the holidays with them, at least not more than maybe a few hours on Christmas day. So what are you really doing here, Emily? Why did you show up on my doorstep tonight, of all nights?"

Her whole body tingled with emotion as she faced him, looked him square in the eye. "You're good, and you're right," Emily admitted. "Truth is… if the world did end today I wanted to be with someone. A friend. I didn't want to be alone."

Morgan's jaw shifted and his head shook, but he held her gaze. "I'm not buying that either. I know you don't believe in any of that horoscope gibberish, and I don't see you as the sort to be sucked in by this doom and gloom, end of the world madness either."

"No," she agreed, trying her best to swallow down the lump of fear in her throat. "But there are many that see today as something different. Not doom and gloom, but rather a day for momentous change to occur. That's why I'm really here, why I showed up on your doorstep. I need momentous change in my life, Derek. And I thought I could do it with a new job across the pond. But all I accomplished there is the same thing I always do, running away."

"From what?"

"From you."

Derek's brows formed a deep V as he tried to digest her response. "Emily, if I did something or said something to make you want to leave the BAU I'm sorry. I never meant…"

"No," she stopped him, squeezing his hands tighter without realizing. "No, you… you didn't even want me to go. But I didn't think I could keep working with you knowing I had feelings for you," Emily finally set the words free. "It didn't seem right, and it didn't seem feasible that you and I would ever…" she let go a shaky breath. "I freaked out, because every relationship I've ever tried to move past friendship has pretty much ended in disaster, some bigger than others."

"You're not seriously comparing me to Doyle?" Morgan asked.

Her head shook. "No, not at all," Emily assured him. "I just have a very bad track record. And you… you're one of the best friends I've ever had. I feel safe with you. I feel like you bring out the best in me, as corny as that sounds. And I didn't want to risk messing that up with something more. But I also couldn't stop thinking about it, so I left."

"It's not so corny," his head shook softly. "I feel the same thing when I'm with you," Derek confessed. "Usually I want to impress a woman, show off and play the big macho guy role. I know you don't fall for that sort of stuff, though, and that's what I need in my life. That's the kind of woman I want. A lot like my mom, actually." He sucked in a breath. "And I can't believe I just said that. Great, Morgan. Tell the beautiful lady you love her because she's like your mother. Very smooth," he lamented.

Emily only caught one important word. "You love me?"

"Yeah, of course I love you, Emily," Morgan smiled. "For the longest time I thought it was just friendly love, but when I thought you were dead I realized it was more than that."

"You never said anything."

"I didn't think you were feeling the same thing."

She wanted to laugh, but the sensation got caught somewhere in her throat and mingled with a sob. "What a pair," Emily sniffed down both emotions. "That's why I'm here now, because I realized what an idiot I've been. And I wanted to finally tell you that I… I think I love you."

"You think?" he felt a little disappointed by that extra word.

She shrugged and bit her lip. "I thought I was in love with Doyle and I know now that it wasn't love. So you can see where I might be a little confused. I honestly don't think I've ever been in love before, not truly," she revealed. "And I can't believe I just told you all of this here, in JJ's living room."

"What do you feel, Emily?" he asked. "What's in your heart? Is it like what you felt for Doyle?"

"No, not even close," she had no trouble answering. "I was attracted to him and I desired him physically. He made me feel powerful. But there was always coldness between us. Maybe it was the lies, I'm not sure. But I know that when I'm with you I only ever feel warm inside. Not in a sappy, gooey sort of way, but content. Every relationship I've ever entered was destructive in some way, but with you I always feel strong, worthwhile. Equal."

"And who's to say that's not love?"

"The part of my head that over thinks everything and tells me to run away."

Derek stepped closer, his chest pressed against hers, hands at the small of her back. "Stop listening to that part of your head, Emily," he insisted.

Their lips were almost touching when the front door opened, causing them to jump apart.

JJ and Will entered into the living room to find their friends standing an awkward distance apart from one another. "How was the party?" Emily asked, fiddling with her nails and trying not to look at Derek. "Henry just went down a few minutes ago," she added. "You can probably still kiss him goodnight. And we should be going," Emily moved toward the door. "I need Derek to drop me at my hotel and… yeah," she really had nothing else to add to that thought.

"Okay, well, how long will you be in town?" JJ asked, hesitant to say goodbye. "You'll at least be here through Christmas, right?"

"Yep," Emily nodded, still not focusing on Derek.

"Then you should come to the BAU holiday party on Christmas Eve," JJ insisted. "Everyone will be disappointed if you don't."

"I'd like that," Emily agreed, hugging JJ briefly before she headed to the door. "Go see Henry, we'll show ourselves out."

xxx

It was nearly four hours later and Derek hadn't dropped Emily off at her hotel.

They'd stopped to admire the big lighted tree across from the White House. And even though the night was chilly, the two of them had wanted some fresh air. That's how they found themselves wandering the snowy streets of DC, hand in hand. They ended up on the steps of the Lincoln memorial where they sat and watched light dance along the surface of the reflecting pool. Derek glanced at his watch before wrapping an arm about Emily's waist. "It's midnight and the world didn't end," he announced.

"But it's still only 7pm in Hawaii," she pointed out.

He sighed. "We really should work on developing your optimistic side," Derek teased. "What do you say we go back to my place and wait for it to turn midnight in the last time zone?" he suggested. "And when the world doesn't end then, I say we map out a course for this momentous change adventure of yours."

"There you go again, trying to get women to go home with you," Emily tsked.

Morgan took no offence, he simply held her closer, getting used to the new degree of intimacy in their relationship. "What do we do when you have to go back to London?"

"I'm not going back," she whispered.

Derek sat back to look her in the eye. "What about your job?"

"I quit two days ago."

That news shocked him, but also gave him hope that she was serious about their relationship moving forward. "So are you planning to return to the BAU, or…"

Emily's head shook. "No, I don't think it's a good idea, the two of us working together again now that we're… whatever we are. I've been tossing around a few ideas, one of them is to apply for an opening I found on a C.A.R.D. team here in the area."

"You'd be great at that," he replied. "But it's a pretty big step down from running your own Interpol office."

"Did I mention the C.A.R.D. position was as team leader?" she smiled.

"Okay, not bad," Derek snuggled close to her again, resting his head against hers. "I just want you to be happy, Emily. If that means you going back to London, I'm okay with that. Honestly," he let her know. "We can make something work."

Her head shook again. "Nah, I don't want to be that far away from you again. I didn't like it. And besides, you followed me there during the summer. You're a hard guy to shake."

"Good," he leaned in and finally captured her lips. "I don't want to be shaken."

She suckled his bottom lip, savoring the first sweet kiss of their union. Emily was still nervous about it all, but she wasn't going to run away. For once in her life she was going to face the future without getting bogged down in the past. "As warm as this kiss is making me, it's still freezing out here," Emily reluctantly pulled out of their embrace. "I think I'd like to take you up on that earlier offer, to go back to your place and… map things."

"Whatever will you think of me?" he chuckled, standing and giving her a hand.

"That you love me," Emily smiled.

"That is true," he concluded.

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	44. Special

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, Criminal Minds.

**I hope you have all been having a lovely Holiday Season! Thank you very much for your kind comments, they are most appreciated.**

* * *

><p><strong>Special<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>It was still dark outside as she stood gazing out the window over Derek's kitchen sink.<p>

Emily leaned against the counter, eating yogurt and listening to the pit-pat of infrequent raindrops against the window pane. The kitchen was small, like the rest of Derek's house. But it was a cozy space with just enough counter room for all the essentials. The other living areas were similarly designed, small but inviting, as she'd come to know over the course of three days. It was not the kind of showplace she'd often lived in, including the London flat she'd just abandoned. It felt like a home, though - the same way being with Derek felt like home.

She heard him approach.

The small house was nicely remodeled, but it still had stairs and floor boards that groaned and squeaked with old timey charm. She took another bite of the raspberry yogurt as his arms encircled her waist. His warm, hard body pressed against her backside and caused her stomach to flip-flop like a foolish teenager before a first kiss. Emily closed her eyes for a moment as he kissed her neck. The small plastic yogurt container nearly fell to the floor as she relaxed increasingly against his distracting body.

"Morning," she greeted him.

"I woke up and you were gone," Morgan replied. "Thought you'd finally come to your senses," he whispered, "Left me in favor of retrieving your job and life in London."

Her head shook as she twisted around to face him, still captured in his loving embrace. Emily let her gaze match his. "I'm not going back to London," she let him know, "Except to retrieve Sergio. No over thinking things this time," she assured him. He'd never seemed like the insecure type to her, but she could see a tiny bit of worry reflected in his dark eyes. Emily could still see the pain of her faked death lingering there in his gaze, and it was like a spike of pain to her gut all over again. "I was just hungry. Afraid you're stuck with me now," she smiled.

"Good," his hands smoothed over her hair, pushing it behind her ears. "Because these last three nights with you in my bed have been the best three nights of my life."

"So that's what you love about me?" Emily asked. "Our three day relationship has been based solely on sex?" she did her best to appear upset, though she was pulling his leg.

Derek's brows bunched and his lips quirked to the left as he tried to read her. "Not at all," he looked her in the eye, pretty sure she was joking with him. "But I'd be lying if I said I'd never thought about it with you. No heterosexual man in the world could work with you for five years and not think about it, imagine it… desire it."

"Wait a second…" she looked mortified. "So you think Rossi and Hotch… even Reid might have…"

He shrugged with a huge grin on his face.

Emily's nose scrunched. "Eww, now I'll never be able to look at any of them the same again. You can't be serious. You're not, right? Tell me you're making this up."

"All I can say is that I know how a guy's mind works. You should be flattered." Derek dodged the slap she meant for his shoulder and expertly wrapped his arms around her waist again. "Just so you know, you've exceeded all my fantasies about you in bed, as well as the other places we've made love," he whispered against her ear before gently nipping her lobe.

With barely controlled motions, Emily sat her yogurt container on the nearby counter for fear of the mess that would surely be made if she dropped it. "Well at least I've lived up to expectations in one regard," she panted softly as he hiked up the over-sized t-shirt she was wearing. Emily reached for the elastic waistband of his boxer briefs that were a bit strained by his close proximity to her. "But this business about me being like your mother…"

Morgan's actions ceased almost instantly and he pushed away from her. "Really not the topic I wanted to bring up while trying to take advantage of you in my kitchen," he noted. "Pretty much a mood crusher, actually," Derek added with a frustrated sigh. "I don't exactly remember what I said the other day, but it may have come out wrong. I grew up with three feisty and independent women. They always kept things real for me, and you do the same thing. I admire that quality. That's all I really meant. I don't have any mommy hang-ups, promise."

She smiled as he reached for her yogurt and took a bite as consolation. Emily felt a little bad that she really had killed the mood. "I admire that you love and respect your family so much. I'm sorry if I made it sound like a bad thing. It's just that my parents… I don't know," her head shook, conflicted as usually in regard to her family. "I don't see eye to eye with them on much. And I sure as heck wouldn't want you to be like my father, all business with barely a moment to spare for his family."

He flashed a sympathetic smile her way and offered her a bite of yogurt. "I'm sorry about that," Derek said with sincerity.

Taking a moment to lick the spoon, Emily thought over the idea blooming in her head. She bit her lip for a moment before voicing the thought. "What would you think about escorting me to Christmas dinner at my parent's place tomorrow night?" she bravely asked. "I know it's kind of sudden throwing you to the wolves after only three days of officially being together, but I honestly don't want to face them on my own. And we wouldn't have to stay long or…"

"I'd be happy to escort you," he responded.

"That was a quick decision," she looked at him askance. "You might be singing a different tune tomorrow."

Derek tossed the empty yogurt container and the spoon into the sink. He rested his hands on her hips and grinned desirously as he lifted her onto the counter. "Let's not think about tomorrow right now, or any family, or… anything," Morgan suggested. "Except for you," he kissed her neck, "Me," his kisses moved upward, "And this very sturdy marble countertop…"

Her lips collided with his and she could only moan her agreement.

xxx

"I'm just saying it was a little strange," JJ spoke to her colleagues. The whole team was crowded around her desk in the bullpen, gathered for their annual holiday party. "First off we have Derek showing up to babysit with Emily in tow. Second, she's in town visiting without telling any of us, at least not me."

"She didn't tell me either," Reid added.

"Or me," Garcia said.

Rossi and Hotch each shook their heads, clearly oblivious as well.

Will, Beth and the newest BAU member, Alex Blake, did their best to stay out of the conversation. Each of them had come to appreciate, and not overstep, the tight bond of friendship between the group's members. Blake felt welcome within the team, but she knew Emily Prentiss had been with them for many years. They'd also banded together to track down the man they'd believed to kill her. The newest agent hadn't met her yet, but she'd heard plenty stories in the last several months to understand the close-knit connection.

"So you think something was going on between them?" Penelope asked. "Because I got this kind of weird vibe from them when we were in England," she revealed. "I never said anything because I figured it was just me and my wacky imagination running wild, but…"

JJ's head shook slowly, contemplatively. "No, I don't think it's your imagination or mine. When Will and I got home I swear there was some strange tension between them and…"

"Em-ly!" Henry squealed, cutting the adult conversation short with excellent timing. He left behind Jack and the toys they'd been playing with on the floor in favor of racing across the bullpen to greet his friend. He collided with Emily and wrapped his little arms about her legs. "I knowd you be here at Christmas. I knowd it!" The boy looked up at her with happy blue eyes peeking out behind long blonde locks. "I ask Santa to see you again."

Emily squatted beside the boy and ruffled a hand over his head. "You shouldn't have wasted a Santa wish on me, buddy."

"But I like you, you my friend," Henry insisted. "And I wanna hear the alien puppet voices again. Pwease!"

"I don't know," Emily spoke with her alien accent, which was still stuck somewhere between Jamaican and East Indian. "We'll have to find Boris to help us out."

Henry giggled delightedly.

"He's been talking about you a lot the last few days," JJ noted. "I think he might even have a little boy crush on you," she added. JJ and Garcia shared a glance as they noticed Derek entering the bullpen. Their brows arched, observing that his entrance was timed a few moments after Emily. It seemed far too planned to be coincidental. "And that puppet show you and Derek put on for him," JJ attempted to cover their covert glances with distraction. "Will and I tried to do an alien puppet show but Henry was not impressed. He said we didn't do the voices right."

Emily cringed before she stood and hugged JJ. "Sorry, didn't mean to step on any parental toes."

"Oh no," JJ dismissed, not seeming upset at all by the incident. "Will and I are much better at playing soccer with him. And I think it's great that he cares about you guys so much, all of you at the BAU," she extended her gratitude around the room. "He's usually very shy at pre-school. Apparently he benefits from an older class of company."

"Who are you calling old?" Rossi asked with feigned grumpiness.

The group laughed at his comment.

"Well, I'd be up for another puppet show some time," Emily aimed her words at Henry. "As long as Boris agrees," she glanced over at Derek with questioning eyes. "Not sure how Boris is an alien name, though," she teased, elbowing Morgan in the side.

Everyone noticed the frisky gesture, but it was not entirely uncommon for them.

"You'll have to forgive me," Derek eyed Emily as he spoke in exaggerated tones. "I'd never named an alien before. And I don't think it was entirely off the mark. Once upon a time the Americans and Russians had a little space race going on," he defended his actions with serious conviction. "At least it makes more sense than Luth. I've been meaning to ask you what kind of a name that is," Morgan queried. "I've never heard it before."

She smiled at him. "Precisely, because it's made up. That's what you do when you play make believe, Derek, you make things up."

He shrugged. "At least I'm not the one who got the aliens mixed up half way through the production. As I recall I started off being Luth, named by you. And I called you Boris, but then all of a sudden I turned into Boris and you were Luth."

"I didn't think you'd noticed that," Emily chuckled. "I realized it but I just kept rolling along because Henry didn't seem to care," she shrugged.

Derek clasped her hand in his without thinking about the obvious, and very public, show of affection. "It was fun," he admitted. "I don't let myself relax like that very often. I enjoyed getting caught up in your make believe alien world. Actually, it was very telling the way Luth spoke about how they could defeat the bad aliens just by holding hands, and how they had each other's backs." Morgan squeezed her hand a little tighter. "Kind of like the two of us."

"Okay, are the two of you a couple?" Garcia finally blurted out, not able to stand it any longer.

"Seriously," Emily did her best to look shocked by the question, even though her hand remained clasped against Derek's. "You think the two of us are together, romantically?"

"Don't be ridiculous," Morgan added. "We're just good friends, same as we've always been."

Penelope instantly looked embarrassed, which was a rare thing for the flashy woman. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to speculate. It was just that JJ was telling us about how Emily and you showed up to babysit," she took a quick breath and looked at Emily. "And it's sort of odd that you didn't tell anyone you were visiting, but Derek seemed to know and…"

Emily and Derek smiled; though they felt pretty bad for letting their friend get so worked up about it all. "Garcia, we were just kidding," Morgan broke away from Emily. He hugged Penelope and kissed the top of her head. "I'm sorry, baby girl. That was mean of us. And even though you are a little busy body most of the time, you don't deserve to be humiliated."

"What are you saying?" Garcia pushed out of his embrace and shot daggers at him.

"Yes, we're together…" Derek confirmed. "Emily and me," he clarified.

"Really?" Hotch couldn't help react with a bit of surprise.

Rossi put a hand to the team leader's shoulder. "What he means to say is, that's wonderful," the older man gently interjected.

"He's right," Hotch agreed. "I just, I guess I never thought…" It was rare for the stalwart man to be at a loss for words. Thankfully they all laughed it off and heaped their love and congratulations onto Derek and Emily. There were hugs and playful slaps, handshakes and smiles all around.

"Does this mean you're staying in DC?" Reid asked of Emily, clearly excited by the prospect.

"I am…" Emily turned to Blake, noticing that the woman had been silently hovering nearby as she took in the reunion of old friends. She didn't know much about the woman aside from what little the others had mentioned to her. "I'm not trying to get my old job back," Emily assured the woman. "I know you've done a great job helping the team these last few months."

Spencer looked a bit disappointed even though he'd come to respect Blake and appreciate her friendship. "What _will_ you do?" he asked Emily, "Job wise?"

She explained about the C.A.R.D. team position and Hotch nodded. "I saw that job posted last week," he spoke up. "Strauss mentioned it, too. She told me Director Mitchel asked her if she thought any of our BAU team would be interested. He thinks a team leader with a background in behavioral analysis would be a boon for them," he paused a moment. "I could get her to recommend you for the job, if you're interested," Hotch offered.

Her brows rose, surprised by the idea, but not by the thoughtfulness behind it from her former boss. "That could certainly be an interesting recommendation," Emily nervously thought it over for just a few seconds. "But I'd appreciate any help I can get. Kind of worried they'll skip over me because I'm over qualified."

"I'll talk to Strauss after the holiday break," Hotch spoke as if it was all a done deal.

Emily felt Derek take her hand again and she realized in that moment that the BAU was still her home, even if she wasn't working with them. They were a family. They stuck together.

She was glad to have them. And sorry she'd ever left.

xxx

The stately house loomed before them and Emily could see Derek's forehead was creased a little.

"Relax," she whispered while pressing the doorbell. "Whatever happens in there I've got your back, Boris," Emily assured him.

A minute later her mother let them inside. They stood in the foyer as Liz kissed Emily's cheek and squeezed her shoulders. Derek noticed that it was not a real hug. Not the way his mother embraced her children. He extended his hand and shook the ambassador's. "Good to see you again, ma'am."

"And it's lovely to have you here with us for the holiday, agent Morgan," the older woman smiled perfunctorily as she led them through the foyer into a grand hall. "It was a bit of short notice on Emily's part when she called last night to say you'd be joining us for dinner. But thankfully my husband had business to attend to tonight so the cook didn't have to expand the meal. There should be plenty for the three of us to enjoy."

Something akin to a growl escaped Emily's lips even as she bit her tongue. "Daddy's not joining us?"

"I believe that's what I just said," Liz replied, seemingly annoyed to have to repeat her words. She walked them down the hall and waved a hand toward the adjoining dining room. "The salad has already been set out for us. We should eat before it wilts."

They took their seats, Emily and Derek beside one another and her mother at the head. "Agent Morgan…"

He looked to the ambassador. "Please, its Derek," he corrected.

"Derek," Liz nodded. "Why aren't you spending the holiday with your family?"

"I always go back to Chicago for my mom's birthday earlier in December," he replied. "We don't gather for Christmas. Not since I was a boy. Christmas isn't a real big deal for my family. My dad died on December twenty-eighth when I was nine years old. Half way through Christmas and New Year's. So this time of the year is still difficult for my mom and my sisters, thinking about that happening. We just don't do much for the holidays."

Liz swallowed. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize," her tone was genuinely remorseful. But she rapidly shifted topics. "So, Emily, how long will you be in town? Through the New Year? It would be nice of you to see your father while you're in the area. It's been over a year you know," Liz pointed out, as if it was Emily's fault. "There was that entire debacle with the Doyle case and then you ran off to London. Your father thinks you don't want to see him."

"I'm not the one who had a business deal on Christmas day," Emily sat her fork down, shaking her head. She sighed and decided to go for broke. "Mother, I left my job at Interpol. I'm moving back here. So I guess I'll be able to see daddy more often. I'm sure he'll be thrilled," the sarcasm dripped heavily from her tongue.

"Why on earth would you do such a foolish thing?" Liz set her fork down, too. She stared at Emily with a somewhat contemptuous look. "That job with Interpol was perfect for you. And you don't just resign from a career making assignment like that after, what, six months?" Liz was clearly upset. "So you gave up London to do what? You gave up everything for this man? You have no idea how long it will last, probably not long with your track record."

Emily pushed her chair away from the table. "That's it. Let's go," she said to Derek.

Morgan finished chewing a piece of lettuce and remained in his seat. "I understand that you don't know much about me, ambassador," he spoke after his food was swallowed. "But I love your daughter. This relationship is not a whim for me. And yes, Emily has had some issues with commitment in the past. I know that. She's acknowledged it," he plainly stated the facts. "We don't know how long it will last, though I'm hoping the rest of our lives. Whatever happens, I plan to stand by your daughter."

"How romantic," Liz rolled her eyes. "But romance does not take you very far up the career ladder. I know."

"Mother," Emily was still touched by Derek's declaration. "I wasn't happy in London, or at that job. I was there for all the wrong reasons. But I'm moving back here for one very right reason. His name is Derek Morgan, and if you can't be happy for us…"

The older woman clasped her hands and rested them on her lap. "You know I'm not much for following my heart, Emily," her tone was softer. "Your father and I married because our families believed it would be a beneficial union. He's always been away a lot and we've never… well, I needed my career to fall back on." She waved a dismissive hand in the air. "You certainly don't need to concern yourself with our relationship," Liz tried to steady her voice. "I'm sorry for the way this meal has gone. I really did want you here for the holiday."

With a heavy sigh, Emily slipped back into her seat. "And I wanted to see you and daddy for Christmas," she admitted. "As horrible as most of our Christmases have been over the years I thought this year might be different," she cracked a small smile. "I guess it's a comfort to know some things don't change."

"You're wrong," Liz spoke again, though she felt a bit bad for using those exact words. "Do you remember the Christmas when you were five? Probably not, you very young. But we'd just left London and moved back here to the states. I was between assignments then," she recalled. "So I decided I was going to give you a huge Christmas celebration, decorate a large tree and even make Christmas cookies. I was going to make up for the first several Christmases when I was working and you ate your holiday meal with the nanny."

"I do remember," Emily was surprised to find tears welled in her eyes. She suppressed them, though. "I remember those sugar cookies were very black on the bottom."

Liz chuckled, a sincere sound escaping her lungs. "Yes, but you insisted that we frost them and we did. And you put them on a plate for Santa. You even told me they were the prettiest cookies you'd ever seen." The ambassador turned to Derek. "I apologize for what I said earlier. It was uncalled for," she admitted. "If the two of you can excuse the actions of a…" Liz stopped short of completing the thought. "I'd very much like you to stay for dinner. I'd rather not eat alone. Please."

"I'd like to stay," Morgan agreed, reaching over to take Emily's hand.

She nodded. "Okay."

"Thank you," Liz smiled.

xxx

The cold evening air caught Emily's breath and sent it upward in a curling stream of wispy white vapor.

It was quiet and not raining or snowing as they walked through Derek's neighborhood admiring the lights. Ever since Friday night, when the world hadn't ended but instead had begun for them, they'd taken up the tradition of going for a walk late at night and admiring the holiday lights. "Thank you for enduring my mother tonight," Emily did her best to let go of the rude things Liz had said. "I know she apologized, but I still…" Emily sighed.

"She pretty much admitted to being lonely most of her life," Morgan pointed out, actually feeling sorry for the woman. "Your dad took off on Christmas night for business reasons," he snarled his distain at the action. "That's pretty messed up, even for a guy who doesn't do much to celebrate the holiday." He pointed to a house across the street from them. "Santa's still up on the roof," Derek noticed. "Isn't he meant to be back at the North Pole by now? All the gifts have been delivered."

Her head shook, though she smiled. "You're a goof."

He squeezed her hand and brought it to his lips to kiss her palm. "Look," Derek pointed to another house as they approached.

"Icicle lights," Emily gazed at them for a moment. "Those are my favorite. Simple, white..."

"Kind of like you," Derek said.

"Hey," she slapped his chest. "I may be white, but simple I am not."

"No argument there," he chuckled, rubbing his chest with a fake grimace. "I was actually thinking that they were bright, elegant and timeless. Very much like you."

"Nice save," she stopped their forward progress and kissed him, their warm breathe sending more spirals of vapor upward into the cool night air.

Derek let his hands wander to her waist. "I should say more nice things about you if that's how you plan to respond."

Emily rolled her eyes and took his hand, continuing their walk. They moved silently to the end of the block and turned left. "She does have her moments, though," Emily sighed, leaning her head against his shoulder. "My mother," she looked to see if he was paying attention and caught his nod. "I'd completely forgotten about those cookies. Do you have a favorite holiday memory?" the words were out before she could stop them. "Sorry," Emily admonished her poor short-term memory. "Never mind, I wasn't thinking. You don't have to…"

"The last Christmas my dad was alive…" Derek saved her from having to back pedal any further. "I was nine and I wanted this guitar – it was a special edition for the ten year anniversary of Jimmy Hendrix's death. Thing was about a hundred dollars and I knew we couldn't afford it. But I was obnoxious about it the way only a nine year old boy can be," he kept talking as they walked. "I'm surprised my parents didn't slap me," he shook his head recalling that time.

"Anyhow, Christmas morning came and it wasn't under the tree," Derek went on. "I started to cry and my dad took me aside, sat me down on his knee, and told me he'd really wanted to get it for me. Apparently he'd saved some money and was actually going to buy it, but three days before Christmas the hot water heater busted. He had no choice. He had to do what was best for the house; what was best for all of us."

Morgan took a shaky breath as he leaned against her. "I realized then what a horrible little snot I'd been. I told him as much and apologized. And he said to me: Derek, you were just being a kid. You were worried about kid things and that's perfectly okay. Be a kid while you have the chance. You'll have to grow up soon enough."

A smile graced his lips at the memory. "He always encouraged the people in his life to simply be who they were."

"That is a much better holiday memory than my stupid cookies," she realized.

"Nah, those cookies were important to you," Derek stopped them again and looked her in the eye. "And your mom tonight, she was just being herself. She's been shaped by the influences in her life, and coped with them, as we all do. She may speak before thinking sometimes, but your mother's a survivor, like you. You gotta love her for who she is. And one Christmas she was the kind of mom who made cookies for her daughter. Those cookies made that Christmas special for you."

"They did," she agreed, understanding what he was getting at.

"I strive every day to follow my dad's motto of respecting people for who they are. With the job I do it can be hard some days. But with those wise words and his understanding calmness, he made that last Christmas with him very special for me," he recalled with a mixture of fondness and longing. With Emily by his side, her hand in his, the longing mostly subsided. "Thank you for making this time of the year special for me again, Emily."

"I don't feel like I've done much to warrant that praise," she said as they looked up to find a large Victorian house in front of them.

A light display from the house flickered on as they stood there; a rainbow of colors crisscrossed in a garish manner. There was a lighted plastic nativity scene. A strobe lit Santa and eight reindeer were arranged on the roof of the manger. Three foot candy canes lined the walkway. Elves with green and gold striped shirts dotted the yard, looking a fair bit more maniacal than jolly. But among the chaos, hanging elegantly along the gabled peaks of the house, were several connecting strings of simple white icicle lights.

Morgan kissed her softly amidst the glow. "Trust me, you have," he assured, "Just by being here with me."

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	45. Betrayed

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

* * *

><p><strong>Betrayed<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>Emily felt a shiver roll over her as she awoke.<p>

She blinked and glanced around the small space, slowly remembering where she was. It was unlike the dream she'd just been enjoying - sleeping in on a weekend, lounging in bed with Derek snuggled beside her as the bustling of an early morning in London sounded outside her flat. But as she swung her legs off the narrow bunk, Emily knew that reality had her on a boat. And that she was headed into a rural part of Russia with a rag-tag group of friends in an attempt to track down an international weapons dealer and human trafficker.

Her right arm was stretched above her head as she came up from the dreary cabin into the cold Russian morning.

There was daybreak light mingled with freezing weather. Emily took the opportunity to fully examine her attire. Men's clothing hung loose on her body; a pair of gray slacks, white button shirt and a navy blue V-neck sweater. A gray wool coat finished off the ensemble. Her right arm was pushed though the sleeve while the left side hung over the top of her injured shoulder like a cloak. All items were about three sizes too big, but someone had cinched a belt around her waist to at least make sure her pants didn't fall down.

Hiking boots adorned her feet. They were also a bit large, but laced up around her ankle well enough to stay tight.

As the cool morning air collided with her lungs, Emily felt her head was mostly clear from the drugs. But the chill caused her to shove her right hand in a pocket to at least try to keep warm. Inside the pocket her fingers cupped two objects. She ran her thumb over the slight indentation of each letter on her grandfather's Scrabble tiles. The soft curve of a G and the sharp straight lines of the H. Emily smiled to think that out of every small thing Derek could have carried away from her flat he'd chosen those two tiles.

Derek greeted her with a gentle kiss to her lips, just a brief show of love as they huddled on the upper deck of the boat with Tasha and Easter. A thick cover of fog hung low all around them as the boat bobbed gently. Emily realized they were moored along the shore somewhere because large trees lined the landside, heavy evergreen branches floating above the fog line. A bright light circled overhead every few minutes, which she guessed was from a lighthouse, though it couldn't be seen.

When her eyes adjusted a bit more she could make out small wedges of ice floating beside the boat. That was more than enough to tell her just how cold it was.

"How's your shoulder this morning?" Morgan asked.

"Stiff," she replied.

"Sorry about that," Easter said as he watched Tasha hand out more granola bars and water for their breakfast. "The bullet was pretty well embedded in your muscle tissue. I do hope I haven't crippled you for life," he apologized.

Emily smiled faintly, often finding it difficult to tell when the man was joking. "I've had worse," she shrugged, but instantly regretted the movement. With a controlled manner that she'd learned from years of practice, the pain was stuffed away to the farthest reaches of her mind. She concentrated on opening the silvery granola bar package instead, biting one end with her teeth and pulling the other side with her hand.

Easter and Morgan both nodded, clearly recalling her run-in with Doyle and the large chunk of wood he'd skewered her abdomen with. But it was Derek who could tell she was hurting just by the way she remained utterly quiet. He'd known her long enough to recognize that was her coping method, shut it all out, put it out of mind. If there was nothing else at stake he would've called her out on it, made her talk. But they had a rough road ahead and as much as he wanted to protect her he also understood her need to fight through the pain.

The four of them ate their meager breakfast as the lighthouse's fog horn hummed dully in the background.

"I spotted Ziven's tour boat around midnight local time," Easter announced when they'd finished eating. "I've moored us on the east side of that peninsula. There's a lighthouse about a half mile to our right, which you've probably already noticed. It's the only structure within a five mile radius that I scouted. The village near where Ziven's boat is docked is small, but big enough for him to hide out; several houses and a small industrial area with some warehouses," he explained the lay of the land to them in further detail.

Clyde, who'd taken it upon himself to lead the group, kneeled down beside a bench and reached both his arms beneath it. "I let you all sleep as long as possible, but I figure the sooner we get going this morning the better."

"So we just walk in to town and have a look around?" Derek tried to firm up a plan.

"Do you not think we need some sort of reinforcements?" Tasha questioned the flimsy plan, though she'd traveled with them the last few days and knew their improvisational skills were better than most people's well thought out attacks.

"Derek and I have already discussed that," Clyde responded, his voice somewhat muffled as he continued to dig around beneath the bench seat. "We don't want to scare Ziven off. All we need to do this morning is have a scouting mission further about the town. If we can establish he's here and that there is a threat then we can call in help," he surmised. "My suggestion is that Derek and I walk in to town alone and…"

"No way," Emily didn't even let him finish. "I'm going with you. Laren is with these guys. She thinks she's in too deep to get out, but I saw the desire in her eyes to help me. If I can talk to her I think she'll be key in all of this. She trusted me for a time and I think I can regain that trust. But if the two of you go in there she won't give you anything, she'll freeze up even if you do claim to know me. I need face to face time with her."

Morgan nodded, already knowing Easter's suggestion would be shot down. "I agree."

"Then Tasha stays with the boat," Easter threw his second suggestion out.

"In your dreams, mister," the women in question responded. "You and Emily both only understand more Russian than you can speak, which means you need me to get by. These are villagers; their dialect could be slightly different. I understand the language's nuances inside and out."

Emily was tempted but worried. "I can't ask that of you, Tash. You've already done so much and you have Elya to think of."

"Elya is the main reason I am still here, my friend," Tasha smiled warmly. "When I think of these girls being lured into this trap, all I think about is their mothers. I wonder what their mothers must be thinking, how worried they must be. I know if it were my daughter I would never give up, which is why I plan to help you all now."

"You heard her," Derek took the first step toward shore. "Let's get going."

"Wait," Easter halted them. He sighed in resignation before drawing their attention to a square metal lock box that he finally managed to pull free from underneath the bench. "Petrov left us some help," Clyde opened the lock and lifted the lid to reveal four small firearms.

Derek nodded and silently checked one weapon to be sure it was loaded and the safety was on. He offered it to Emily who took it with her free hand and shoved it her waistband beneath the cover of her coat. Morgan took a second gun for his self as Easter also secured one weapon on his person. The fourth gun was offered to Tasha. "No, thank you," the slight woman immediately shook her head. "I could not… no," she turned away from the item.

"Do you have any rope or tape of some sort on this boat?" Derek asked of Easter. The two of them hunted down something useful and discovered a life vest. Morgan tore one of the straps from it. He used the nylon strap to loosely secure the fourth gun to his left ankle.

On shore, Easter took the lead with Tasha right behind him. Derek helped Emily make the transition from boat to shore as they followed the others into the wooded terrain. Emily took just a few steps before she swayed and leaned against Derek. "You okay?" he asked, knowing it was a silly question.

"Yeah, I just…" she swallowed and focused her eyes on the ground for a moment. "I've been on a train for days and then a boat overnight. I kind of feel like I'm still moving."

"Not enough sleep, blood loss and improper nutrition could be playing a role there, too," Derek recognized. In the pit of his stomach he wanted to get her back on the boat, return to the big city and find her a flight home. Find her a hospital and proper medical treatment. But he knew all too well that she'd protest. And she'd be right. They were far too close to Ziven to back down now. So he held her close with an arm about her waist.

"I also only have one arm for balance at the moment," she chuckled and watched as he smiled. Emily was grateful for his presence and his understanding. She was pretty certain it was killing him not to stash her somewhere safe until all signs of danger were past. "Everybody, remember where we parked," she said as the boat quickly disappeared from their sight, swallowed by the dense fog. Emily looked around to find three pairs of eyes starring curiously at her and she realized her attempt to lighten the mood had gone over their heads.

"Am I really the only Star Trek fan here?" her head shook regretfully.

Derek kissed her cheek. "I love you, my nerdy Jo."

She smiled and pulled the letters from her pocket. "Why these?" Emily asked.

He shrugged, understanding her question but not having a very good answer for it, "Just wanted something to help me feel close to you while I was searching."

"My granddad was Holden, and my Gran was Gabrielle. Like the letters you saved," she revealed to him. "I stayed with them a lot when my parents needed to conduct business without a kid underfoot. They lived in London until gran passed. Then granddad moved to the French Alps like I told you. He missed her till the day he died."

Morgan clasped his hand around her fingers, the letters clutched between their palms as they continued forward in silence.

They walked several miles before signs of human civilization appeared. At first it was just a few shimmery yellow lights peeking out from the thick fog. Soon enough those lights became framed by glass windows. They were further fleshed out to reveal small wood homes, mostly single story dwellings with simple square footprints and gable peaked roofs. A tiny grid of them speckled the village from their vantage point atop a slight hill. Beyond the houses were the half dozen warehouses Easter had mentioned.

"What do we do now?" Tasha asked.

"Start knocking on doors," Emily suggested. "Someone here must know something."

"But first we need to split up," Morgan added to the simple plan. "Groups of two will be less conspicuous than four of us traipsing around," he glanced to Easter and watched the man nod his agreement. "Tasha goes with Easter… Emily with me," he concluded.

"We'll start at the south end of the village," Clyde said as he pointed Tasha that way. "Meet you in the middle," he called over his shoulder before they vanished into the foggy horizon.

Emily stayed close to Derek's side as they descended the hill and headed toward the first house they spotted. It was a pale green shack with corrugated metal roofing. "You really want to depend on my knowledge of the Russian language?" she asked. "It's even rustier than it was several years ago."

"You were in Russia just a few months ago on business," Morgan recalled. "I'm sure you're not that rusty," he had faith in her. "And there's only one word we really need to know, which is not Russian at all," he looked to her but found her brows furrowed in question. "All we need to do is ask for your friend, Laren."

Her smile bloomed instantly. "Very true," Emily nodded. But her grin faded swiftly as she thought about Laren. "Not so sure she's a friend, though."

Morgan knocked on the worn wooden door and they waited. Several seconds passed and he knocked again a little louder. Emily glanced through the window and saw several young women moving about inside. Then the window coverings abruptly closed. Curtains were pulled tight, snuffing out all interior light. Derek knocked a third time but after two more minutes they moved on to the next house. But the same scenario greeted them, no answer at the door and windows closed.

A dozen houses with a dozen rejections. Two dozen homes and two dozen looked doors and closed windows. It continued in that manner until Easter and Tasha met them at a two-story house along the eastern most edge of town. Derek knocked and the door opened almost instantly. The four of them shuffled inside, somewhat relieved to be invited in for once and very much glad to be out of the cold. The wind had kicked up and was making matters worse. Even inside the house they could hear the wind howling through the thin walls.

But a fire burned brightly at one end of the room. Emily shivered as the warmth inside collided with her chilled and aching body.

Tasha greeted the woman who'd answered the door. She had leathery creased skin and a head of white hair pulled back in a tight bun; easily in her seventies if not eighties. "Why is this village unwilling to speak with us?" Tasha asked in Russian.

"They know who you seek," the old woman replied in heavily accented English. "This neighborhood, each houses the young women you look for. Poverty will make you do almost anything for the smallest bit of money. If the Bear finds you here, in any of our homes, he will destroy us all for helping. Even if we did not willingly help."

Derek shared a look with Emily, both of them disgusted by Ziven's reach. They easily guessed he was the 'Bear' of which the old woman spoke. "Why are you speaking to us?" he asked.

The woman lapsed in to her native tongue and Tasha interpreted. "She's not scared of death any longer," Tasha said. "She despises the Bear, as all the women in the village do. But they are all drugged and beaten to behave. She says she no longer cares what the Bear might do to her."

"Aggie is my biggest supporter," a new voice entered the room. "She's been a dear to me, too bad she's a bit old for fighting."

The four outsiders turned to find a young woman standing there in a drab taupe dress. Her wavy red-brown hair was clean and brushed, but her grey eyes were sunken and her skin pale. Pupils were large and glassy. Clearly she was in some phase of a drugged state. A small child stood beside her, clutching the woman's dress and stepping on tiptoes. The baby barely looked old enough to be standing. That fact was quickly proved as the tiny thing fell backwards and landed on its bottom. Chubby hands reached upward as the child mewed.

"Hello, Emily," Laren said as she bent to pick up the child. She scooped the baby into her arms and the little one immediately laid its head against Laren's shoulder.

"You don't seem very surprised to see me," Emily replied, trying to keep her tone cool even as she wished to whisk Laren away from the dreary house and return her to her mother's waiting arms. But it seemed Laren's mother was not the only one with a child to be worried about. The baby had light-brown hair and green eyes, but it still bore too close a resemblance to be anything other than Laren's child. That realization caused Emily's stomach to ache.

"I was hoping to see you again," Laren said. "Bring us some tea please, Aggie," she waved the old woman out of the room and invited her guests to sit.

The chairs were hard wood, six of them around a large, long table. There was nothing fluffy or comfortable looking in the house that Emily could identify. "Why did you hope to see me again?" Emily asked. "So the man you follow blindly could try to kill me again?" she scoffed, maintaining an aloof manner as she tried to figure out what was going on.

Laren cuddled the baby on her lap as she sat among the others. "I wasn't sure I'd see you again after Edward's men blew up the train. Then I remembered your spirit, and that you took down Marco and two other men all by yourself while being trapped on that train. I had a feeling you would not be so easily defeated. But you're hurt," she noticed. "Please, we have food and medicine. Stay for the morning, eat something and let me check your wound. It is the least I can do."

Aggie reentered the room with several small glasses and a ceramic pot that was steaming. She proceeded to pour tea for everyone.

"You betrayed me," Emily pretended to be upset as she took one of the tea glasses and wrapped her hands about the warm vessel. "You played the roll well, making me think you were tortured by Marco and his men every day. When the reality is, you live in the nicest house in this village."

The woman sighed regretfully. "I had to betray you, trick you," Laren revealed. "No one has come close to showing me your sort of bravery, Emily. Many women and girls have gotten caught in this trap just the same as I did, some because I helped trap them. I tested many to see how brave they were, to see if they could join me. I've been trying to break free for years but knew I couldn't do it on my own. My attempts to create an army have failed many times over. That's why I had to assure you'd follow me here and finally stop all of this."

She looked to the child on her lap and smiled sadly. "I've had to do unimaginable things to work my way into Edward's life," Laren lamented. "This house and this position of control that I hold in the village... you have no idea what it has cost me. You are much wiser than I could ever be, Emily. I need your help."

"No, I'm not wiser," Emily sighed, "Just a lot older, which means I've made a heck of a lot more mistakes. And learned from a few," Emily's icy exterior melted, wanting to believe in the woman's story. "You're much braver than you realize, Laren," her eyes shifted to the child whose head was lifted and eyes shone wide with curiosity. "Who is this?" Emily asked.

"This is my daughter, Nara," Laren revealed.

It was the first time Emily had ever seen anything close to happiness flare behind Laren's eyes. "It's nice to meet you, Nara," Emily smiled and received a toothy grin from Nara. The baby reached out for Emily and Laren easily passed the girl over. Nara snuggled against Emily's right side and gently patted her injured arm. "I got a small boo-boo, but it doesn't hurt much," Emily explained to the child who she reasoned could be no more than ten or eleven months. But she already seemed to be a compassionate soul.

Derek watched the interaction and hoped for all their sake that Laren was true to her word. "Do you have a phone here?" he asked. "I'd offer to pay you for a call but our wallets and passports were stolen. I will pay you back, I promise, I just can't right now."

"Do not worry over it," Laren said as she waved a hand toward a phone on the wall behind them. "Please, make your call."

"We should wait to find Ziven," Easter said as he stood with Derek.

"We have access to a phone right now," Morgan replied. "And we have an entire village of women that we can help find a way home. Ziven can be dealt with later," he declared as he dialed Garcia's direct line by memory. Within moments he received an error message saying that FBI headquarters wouldn't push the call through because of the origin. "Damn it," Morgan ended the call and began to dial Garcia's cell phone when the front door swung open and banged against the wall.

A gust of chilly wind whipped through the space as a tall man stepped inside the house. He had short light-brown hair and green eyes.

"I don't think that's a call you really want to make," his voice was distinctly British. "What young Laren here forgot to mention is that we monitor all incoming and outgoing calls," he was early forties, hardened face with age lines along the forehead and a small scar above his left brow. He stood there with a foreboding manner and a huge smile curling his pale lips. Somewhat contradictory emotions that made him seem all the more menacing.

Two henchmen rushed in behind their leader and ripped the phone from Derek's hand. They pulled it from the wall with brute force, tossed it to the floor and smashed it with their thick-treaded boots. Morgan winced briefly, but he could only hope that Garcia might have gotten some inkling as to their whereabouts from the brief connection. Wanting to keep his weapons a secret for the time being, he was about to strike the nearest man with his fist, but Emily's unassuming actions stopped him from starting the fight.

"You're Ziven?" Emily asked boldly. She passed Nara back to Laren, stood and walked toward the man.

"Edward Ziven. You seem surprised," the man smiled a confirmation. "In the United States there are many with foreign names and faces who speak perfect American English," Ziven said as he approached Laren. "My father was Russian born from an entirely remote village in the south-east. But I was born and raised in my mother's native England. I remain based in London to this day," he proudly announced. Ziven took the baby from Laren's arms and kissed the child's cheek lovingly. "How is my little bear?" his tone was tender.

Emily wasn't terribly amazed by his hubris. She was certain the man believed they would be dead before they could convey his home location to anyone of importance. But she was somewhat shocked to discover he was the baby's father. Laren's imprisonment made much more sense to her, and saddened her further. "So you just use mother Russia for the dirty parts of your business. Keep the women prisoner here until you find suitable men who will pay top dollar for them."

Ziven arched his brows. Nara remained snug, and seemingly happy, in his embrace. "You're the Interpol agent who's tried to meddle in my business. Emily Prentiss."

Morgan stepped between Ziven and Emily. "If you lay a finger on her you'll regret it," his intent to follow Emily's diplomatic approach teetered. "We've uncovered your hideout here," Derek spoke as calmly as he could muster. "I suggest we end this business of yours as peacefully as possible. I've already alerted the CIA, and agent Easter there," he nodded toward Clyde, knowing it all to be a huge lie, "He's got Interpol waiting in the wings."

"I doubt it very much," Ziven wore a cocky grin as he motioned to his men again. Their muscles were discernible even through thick winter coats. "I think this man needs to learn that his threats are an idle weapon against me."

"That's not going to happen," Easter said as he drew his weapon and shot Ziven's two henchmen before anyone could react.

The burly men fell to the floor, each bleeding from their chest.

"An unwise move," Ziven's previously calm voice boomed as he pulled his own weapon and aimed it on Easter. The baby in his arms began to cry. He moved slowly across the room, gun still trained on Easter, and grabbed Laren. "You will not harm me," he spoke with certainty as he moved in closer to Easter. He whispered to Laren, "Be a good girl and take the man's gun from him," Ziven instructed. "You know what I'll do if you don't behave," he added.

Laren nodded and approached Easter without protest.

It was easy to figure out that Ziven had threatened Laren before by using the baby as leverage. Emily wanted to believe he wouldn't hurt the child, undoubtedly his own flesh and blood, but she couldn't be sure of that fact. He'd already proven to be a dangerous man. But she still had to try and reach out to the young woman. "Laren, this man has no hold over you that we can't overcome. Nara will be safe as long as you help us. We can protect you."

"You don't know that," Laren said as she took Easter's weapon from him. "You don't know the things I've seen him do, to other women, to other children. You don't know."

"She's correct," Ziven said as he took Easter's gun from Laren and somehow balanced the baby and two guns. He stuck one weapon into his waist. "Tie those two up at the table," he instructed while pointing to Easter and Tasha.

Without much of a plan, Morgan drew the weapon at his back and made a move toward Ziven. The man spun around and laughed. "Not a smart choice," he said as he held the baby in front of him. "I've done a bit of research on you, agent Derek Morgan of the FBI. You don't strike me as the sort to risk the life of an innocent child."

"Listen to him, Morgan," it was Easter that spoke again. He said nothing more as his eyes aimed out the front window.

Derek kept his gun aimed but glanced out the window to see a dozen men assembled. "That supposed to scare me, Easter? You know I've gone against worse odds," he bluffed.

A gunshot rattled the room.

The baby's cries grew louder.

Half a dozen of Ziven's men stormed the house.

Morgan felt the tile floor shatter in front of him from the gunshot. A piece of ceramic shot upward and caught in his hand causing him to lower the gun. Someone kicked it out of his hand. He dropped to the floor and rolled, collided with the man's legs and sent him stumbling into another man. Derek jumped to his feet and got off one decent blow, knuckles connecting with a man's sturdy jaw. There was a clear cracking sound that signaled bone colliding with teeth. The man stumbled backward with blood spewing from his mouth.

But it was the only real hit Derek was able to get in before three more men marched wordlessly toward him. He fought back but to no avail as they flipped him on to his stomach and bound his hands. Within seconds the gun at his ankle had been found and confiscated. Two of the men hauled him to his feet. Morgan caught his bearings and spotted Emily with Ziven's gun pointed at her head. Another of the henchmen was disarming her of the weapon at her back.

"Now that we've had our fun, it's time for agent Morgan and Emily Prentiss to take a walk with me," Ziven announced as he remained standing, baby in one arm and gun in the other.

"I'll take Nara," Laren stepped forward.

Ziven turned away from the young woman. "No, she'll be going with us."

Laren paled. "She'll be cold. I haven't got her outerwear on," was the only protest she made to his statement.

"Run and grab it," Ziven gave in. "Quickly. And do not try anything foolish while you're out of sight," he warned.

She obeyed and returned in only a minute carrying a small red snowsuit. Ziven snatched it from her and took the time to bundle the child himself. Then he ordered six of his men to guide Emily and Derek out of the house. The rest of them were instructed to watch over the village. Outside, Ziven led the long walk through forested terrain that took them back to the lighthouse. Up they climbed, some thirty feet or more via a spiral staircase that led to the top of the lighthouse.

Emily struggled a bit on the climb. After hiking nearly five miles in two directions and climbing thirty feet up with too-big boots and a sore shoulder, she was exhausted.

They exited onto a two foot wide concrete landing that circled the upper level. A sturdy iron railing kept them from falling off the ledge. The light circled on them every few minutes. And the fog gave way to a small view of the water. The late morning chill had escaladed, and being thirty feet up made the frigid wind bite even worse. Their breath nearly frozen upon leaving their mouths. Ziven pushed Derek and Emily onto the ledge ahead of his self.

Two men remained at the door. Two more had stayed guard below. The last set of two were policing the grounds around the area.

"Now, we are about to make a deal," Ziven spoke as he held the baby close. The little girl made no sound and was slouched against his chest.

Emily concluded that the baby had fallen asleep. At least she hoped that was the truth. "What sort of deal?" she humored him.

"Very simple," Ziven replied. "We could have avoided all of this trouble had you agreed in the first place. The deal is that you return to London and continue working for Interpol same as usual. You ignore everything you've seen here in Russia. You forget the train journey and wipe my face from your memory. You do that and Derek Morgan will live a normal life," he stated. "However, if you reveal any of it… he dies," Ziven aimed his gun at Derek's head. "As I said, it's really quite simple. I'm confident you'll make the right choice."

"Why would I choose his safety over exposing you?" Emily asked; her stomach in a knot.

Derek wanted to smile but refrained.

"Love, of course," Ziven replied.

"I don't love him," Emily tried not to choke on the words as they left a horrible taste in her mouth. "Why would you think I love him? We worked together for many years and he's become a good friend. But there's nothing more to it than that," she maintained. "Taking you down is far more important than his life."

Ziven regarded her for several silent minutes before he cracked a grin. "Well played. For a second I almost believed you. We got to you inside Interpol headquarters, Emily Prentiss. My men drugged you and carted you across several borders. I've taken thousands of young women from their homes and sold them for numerous currencies around the world. And you think a paltry lie is going to free you from my plan?" he scoffed and waved a hand at the men by the door.

The two men grabbed Derek and in nearly the blink of an eye they had him dangling over the lighthouse rail.

Morgan swayed over the rail head first with an excellent view down. Nearly thirty feet hung between him and a landscape of jagged rocks and frigid water.

With carefully controlled anger, Ziven bore his gaze into Emily. "Shall we try this again?" he growled. "You make the deal or he dies. And after you watch him die you get another chance to make a deal or I'll throw this little girl over the rail to be with the man you love. And if you still haven't made a deal with me I will blow up this entire village. I have every building wired to explode should someone try to get in my way. I can easily recoup my losses in another village, another country somewhere."

"I don't believe you," Emily stood up to him. "That little girl is your flesh."

"A bastard child I use to keep Laren loyal to me," Ziven spat, growing frustrated with her. "Nara is expendable, too."

"Then why did you take the time to get her snowsuit?" Emily challenged him. "If you care so little for that sleeping bundle in your arms then why did you care if you brought her out here into the cold without a jacket?" She watched him glance at the girl and could see the love behind his green-eyed gaze. Just as he'd seen through her denial of loving Derek, she too could see through his rejection of the girl. "It seems I found a morsel of humanity in you after all."

His face turned red with indignation, eyes wide and lips pursed for a long moment of contemplation. "Drop him!" Ziven finally shouted to his men.

"Derek!" Emily lunged as she watched Ziven's men let go of him.

She reached out with her one good arm and tried to grasp Derek's leg before he went over.

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><p><strong>The End (but to be continued in the next LondonText series part...) **


	46. Loss

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

**I apologize for leaving you all with that cliffhanger so long. But considering the last part took me months to write, this one actually got done very fast. Thank you for your comments. They make me smile!**

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><p><strong>Loss<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

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><p>Her injured shoulder collided with the iron railing as she lunged toward Derek.<p>

Emily had seen many slow motion scenes in movies, but watching him slip over the rail of the lighthouse happened far too fast.

Pain shot down her arm causing her fingers to tingle. Her vision blurred. Emily barely registered any discomfort as she reached out with her right hand, struggling with every ounce of strength to grasp Derek's leg. Her fingers caught hold of an inch of his pant hemline, but she knew it wasn't enough to keep him from plunging thirty feet onto rocks and probable death. The wind swirled around her, cutting through the wool jacket that was hanging open. Her breath stung with each icy inhale, but she couldn't give up.

She was about to lean further over the railing when she focused enough to look down. Derek wasn't falling. He hung there, impossibly. In her head she knew it wasn't probable, but her eyes were witness. Slowly she widened her gaze and spotted a set of hands wrapped tightly around Derek's ankles. They were manly and dirty, crisscrossed with scars. Emily feared that if she looked away Derek's tentative hold would be lost for good. But she couldn't stop curiosity from winning out.

Her eyes followed the hands upward. Emily spotted a familiar face connected to them, a face she'd only met recently. "Petrov?" she recalled the man's name.

"Emily?!"

The sound of her name being called startled her for a moment, mainly because she couldn't tell where it was coming from. She stared into Petrov's dark eyes as her name was uttered again. "Emily!" it grew more frantic with each incarnation. "Emily, where is Ziven?"

Petrov's lips never moved.

"Derek?" she finally realized who the somewhat distorted voice belonged to. Emily still gripped the useless bit of his hem as she glanced down at him. "Petrov is here to help you," she shouted her words down at him, the wind garbling much of it. "I think," Emily glanced back at Petrov for a moment. Then she spotted two bulky men, also familiar from her vague memories at Petrov's hideout in St. Petersburg. They rushed forward and each took one side of Derek's dangling bulk.

"Emily, where is Ziven? Where's Nara?" Morgan asked again, his words still being partially chopped by the fiercely cold wind.

It was hard not to smile as she listened to his focus. Emily was not the least bit surprised he was worried about something other than his self as he remained at risk of being dropped several stories. "I don't know," the words jolted her back to life. Her hands slipped from their useless hold on Derek's pant leg. "I didn't see…" she gave up on responding and set her feet into motion. Emily spotted Ziven's two guards, unconscious, maybe dead. No doubt they'd been subdued by Petrov's gang.

She hadn't been aware of any of it going on behind her, her focus only on Derek.

Not knowing why Petrov was there, or if he was on their side, didn't bother her at the moment. All her focus was re-aimed on searching for signs of Ziven and, more importantly, the baby. Ziven's two hefty men lay blocking the only door she knew of, which must have been where their fight took place. Emily edged her way around the lighthouse's platform knowing Ziven had to have had another escape route. Half way around she found an opening in the rail. Looking over the edge she could see a metal ladder down the side of the structure.

The combination of stress and throbbing pain in her shoulder made Emily falter for a moment as she gazed down. She gripped the rail tightly to steady herself.

Emily took a deep breath.

Then, with little thought or plan, she backed herself toward the ladder and shimmied over the edge. She held on the best she could with one hand on the ladder rail. Emily pushed aside tiredness and relied solely on adrenaline and the desire to save Laren's daughter from harm. The ladder was slick from freezing fog and she slid down it more than climbed. Her booted feet hit the rocky ground and she was off, searching again for some sign of where Ziven had gone.

"The man you look for headed west," a man's deep voice spoke from within the trees to her left.

Emily spun to face him. "You're with Petrov?" she took a second to ask, though she recognized him from the warehouse where Easter had removed her bullet. His head nodded, but she was still wary. "And you're with us?"

"Petrov works with Easter," the man replied. "Mikael," he slapped a beefy hand to his chest in indication. "Works for Petrov."

"Then take me west," she instructed without hesitation.

"I have no weapon," Mikael replied. "The other men threw it into the woods, I was searching but…"

"No time for that now," Emily cut him off and nudged him forward. She didn't bother waiting for the others, knowing Derek would catch up if he was able.

Emily noticed two of Ziven's men lying unconscious as they headed off. She could only assume they'd been neutralized by Petrov's force as well. A minute or so into their trek Emily had a pretty good feeling about where Ziven was headed. They moved swiftly through the forest. Low lying branches scratched her cheeks and underbrush threatened to trip her and her clumsy shoes up several times. But she marched forward. And true to her guess, a half mile journey led them back to the boat she and the others had arrived on.

Mikael took her by the arm to hide behind the cover of a thick-branched evergreen. Emily tried to slow her racing heart as she focused, peering through the foggy haze. Thankfully, the lanky figure of Edward Ziven roaming about the small boat deck was clear to her from the hidden vantage point. "We wait for Petrov to give orders," Mikael said.

Her head shook. "No, we don't have time for that either," Emily wasn't sure Petrov and Derek would work out where they'd gone. She couldn't even be certain Derek was well enough to rejoin the fight. He might have banged his head or injured his back from the way Ziven's men had brutally foisted him over the railing. "If Ziven takes off we'll have a hard time going after him. Unless you like swimming in ice cold water?" she remarked. "I have to at least get to Nara."

The man put a hand to her forearm, but she shrugged away from his meager attempts to stop her. Emily trudged away from the relative safety of the tree line and exposed her front to Ziven and the boat. She still hadn't spotted the baby, nor had she heard the child crying or making any sort of noise. Emily moved forward on the assumption Nara was okay. And that Derek was okay. She could not think any other way at the moment. Their status would not make her back down.

"Leaving so soon?" Emily asked as she approached the man, a foe possibly more dangerous than Ian Doyle. Doyle had been sinister for sure, but he never would have risked his child's life. And as much as she'd tried to appeal to Ziven earlier, Emily had a feeling Nara really was expendable to the man. She hesitated for a moment on the shore but quickly crossed on to the boat deck before Ziven could attempt to stop her.

He looked to her and grinned. "You are not the sort to give up easily. I admire that quality."

"We still have a deal to make," she kept calm, her gaze covertly searching for signs of the baby. Something shifted on the bench behind Ziven and Emily's heart sighed in relief to see the red bundle of Nara's snowsuit. Emily also caught a glimpse of something in the corner of her eye, something on shore. She was pretty sure about what it was, but she did her best to pretend she hadn't seen anything as she focused primarily on Ziven. "If I make the deal now, will you hand over the baby so I can take her back to Laren?"

"So now you're ready to deal?" Ziven shook his head, amused. "That time has passed."

She sighed. "You just killed the man I loved," Emily lied. "I understand now how serious you are. I was wrong to underestimate you," she did her best to feed his ego. "It's clear to me now that Nara is just a pawn in your game. So in order to save her life I'll do as you ask."

"I don't believe you." Ziven stood his ground. "I was there, I saw those men save agent Morgan's life. And you…" he tsked, as if dealing with an annoying child. "You are trained to talk people down, to tell them what they want to hear in order to stop them," Ziven pointed out as he pulled something from his pocket.

Emily fully expected it to be a gun, but she found instead that it was a cell phone. Her stomach twisted when she paired the cell phone together with what he'd said at the lighthouse about having the village wired with explosives. "You don't want to do anything foolish," she cautioned as he dialed a number.

His pride-filled sneer remained. "I already have," he responded, brandishing the phone for her to see clearly. "I was foolish to believe I could manipulate you. Now, as punishment for your uncooperative behavior, I will prove to you the intent I have. And that is to never give in," Ziven edged his finger closer to the send button.

"You'll lose everything," Emily tried to stall him, hoping the blur she'd seen on shore moments ago would materialize soon. Hoping it hadn't been wishful thinking or a mirage. "Selling those women is one thing, but if you kill them I'll make sure someone hunts you down and destroys you. That is, if I'm not able to do it myself," she growled.

Ziven's smile remained. "Now that I believe," he nodded. "But I don't really care. You are certainly welcome to try," he concluded before hitting the send button.

Unnatural quiet blanketed the land for one eerily long second before the earth beneath their feet trembled.

In the distance a chain of explosions sounded. They were only a dull pop, pop, pop sound by the time they reached Emily's ears. But the echo of their force was enough for her to know Ziven hadn't been making an idle threat. The realization that Easter and Tasha were most likely dead caused Emily to lose all control as she lunged for Ziven. She used her uninjured shoulder to ram into his gut. Ziven faltered, stumbled backward. Emily came at him again but he was prepared.

He grabbed her wounded shoulder and squeezed hard until she fell to her knees.

Then he finally drew the gun from his jacket and pushed the weapon against her skull.

"Stop it!"

The voice that came from shore was not the one Emily had been expecting. She spotted Laren racing toward them, but still no further sign of the shadowy figure she'd seen earlier. Laren leapt onto the boat with amazing agility and faced Ziven with a controlled manner, even though Emily could tell the young woman was still under some sort of drug influence. "You don't want to hurt her, Edward," Laren attempted to appease him. "You can have Nara and me, but let Emily go."

Ziven managed to keep his hold on Emily as he used the gun to smack Laren across the face. He watched with satisfaction as she recoiled and her cheek split open. "You filthy whore," he spat the vile words at her. "I truly thought you were with me all this time. But you drew agent Prentiss here to this village, didn't you? You've never really been with me."

"That's not true," Laren spoke softly. "I am with you. I drew Emily here for you. I tricked her," she held a hand to her bleeding cheek but was distracted by the baby's cry. "Nara is hungry. It's time for her to eat soon. Let Emily go and the three of us can take this boat to safety. We can start over. I promise I'll help you rebuild all of it and they'll never figure it out this time. Emily doesn't need to die. No one else needs to die today," she carefully drew Ziven's distraction away from Emily.

"Laren, no," Emily looked the young woman in the eye. "Please, return to London with me instead of staying with him," she used Laren's distraction to stand.

"I cannot. I already told you why," the younger woman replied.

Emily nodded as she took a small step away from Ziven. "You're an addict of your own admission. It's a small but important step. You'll get clean, I can help you. Do it for Nara's sake."

"But I have hurt so many," Laren played along, guessing the conversation was a part of some plan Emily had. "All of those women in the village who've come to me, as I came to these men, looking to work for some extra money. I have trapped them. I have hurt them, their bodies, their minds and their hearts."

"Then make a choice now not to hurt any more of them," Emily pleaded, not sure any longer if her words were simply an act of distraction.

"This is all very touching," Ziven huffed with annoyance. "But your new friend, Emily," he snarled her name. "She won't give up on me." He moved the gun back and forth between Emily and Laren, clearly a bit rattled by their performance.

Emily finally caught a good glimpse of the figure on shore. It was definitely Derek she spotted creeping around the back side of the boat. Not a mirage.

"I should be honest with you," Laren looked to Ziven, gaining his full attention again. "You should know you've destroyed nothing in the village, at least nothing more than your weapons and the homes. The women live, though. And they'll all speak out now, against you, to put you away for a very long time. But I'll go away with you," she offered again. "Nara and I will both go with you," Laren assured him. "We can hide away from all of this and Emily won't be able to harm us," she insisted.

"The hell she won't," he aimed his gun toward Emily again, though she'd managed to put a slight bit of distance between them. "She'll never stop hunting me. She's already promised as much," Ziven squeezed down on the trigger.

Short of jumping off the small boat to escape the bullet's trajectory, Emily didn't see a way out. But she didn't even have enough time to jump out of harm's way.

The gun fired.

Emily waited for the inevitable, wondering what the point of her life had been. She could only hope that Derek and Petrov would destroy Ziven before he could harm anyone else. But as the seconds slipped slowly into a moment and then two moments, Emily took a shaky breath and then another. No pain came. She wondered briefly if the bullet had been a dead shot. If perhaps she was already floating in the realm of the hereafter, wherever that would take her this time.

The weight of Laren's body colliding with hers caused reality to slap Emily in the face.

"No," the word emitted long and low, a keening that began in the back of Emily's throat as she watched crimson blood bloom against the pale fabric of Laren's dress. Emily gritted her teeth. "No, please. Not for me," tears sprang to her eyes as she gently guided Laren's body to the deck, cradling the young women in her arms.

Another shot rang out. Sharp. Precise.

Emily couldn't make much sense of what was going on, even as she watched Ziven's green-eyed gaze shift. He went from hovering above them to lying flat on his face beside them. A slow trickle of blood trailed along the side of his head and down his neck. She glared at his unmoving body for a long time before Derek appeared and crouched beside her. He placed two fingers aside Ziven's neck. "He's gone," Morgan whispered to her, a steady hand against her back. "Ziven is dead," he assured her.

But at what cost, Emily couldn't help wonder as Laren's frightened eyes looked into hers. "Nara?" she rasped. "Is she all right?" Laren asked.

Derek stood and went to the bench where he found the baby fussing softly. She was relatively calm considering the loud echo of gunfire that remained hanging over the small boat. Her little body wriggled as small pink lips formed nonsensical babble. "She's fine," he called out over his shoulder. Derek stuck Petrov's gun in his waistband and lifted the baby carefully. He walked her over to the spot where Emily sat clinging to Laren.

Emily held on to Laren as if she could infuse the women with life energy just by close contact.

But they all knew that was the magic of fairytales.

"She's fine," Emily reassured as she spotted the baby in Derek's embrace. "Just hang on for her, okay. We'll have medical help here soon," she looked to Derek with hopeful eyes.

He glanced to Mikael and Petrov who stepped aboard. "We'll take the boat back to St. Petersburg," Morgan declared.

"Take… too long," Laren whispered. "Won't make it…"

"Don't say that," Emily gripped her tighter, mindful of the gunshot. There was no exit wound, and Emily was smart enough to know the bullet had hit vital organs in her chest; heart, lung or maybe both. "You'll fight this. You're a fighter, Laren."

Laren almost smiled but a spike of pain shot through her. "You're the fighter, Emily," she insisted. "I knew keeping you safe would assure Edward's end."

"You were right," Derek tried to help comfort the girl. "He's gone. He's dead. He won't hurt anyone else. Not Nara."

A small grin curled Laren's lips at last.

"We need to go," Petrov's voice sounded rattled as he tugged at Emily's arm.

"But we'll take the boat, right?" Derek asked. He was confused by the way Petrov eyed the shore.

"No," Mikael grabbed Laren as carefully as possible and lifted her into his arms. "We need to get off the boat now," he agreed.

Emily felt disoriented as she stayed close to Laren and Mikael, following them to shore. But Derek took a moment to glance down at Ziven's body. He finally saw what Petrov had uncovered. The man's dead torso was surrounded by a vest of explosives. The detonator was beeping softly. It had no visible timer, which left Derek to guess it was motion sensitive. The beating of Ziven's heart had kept it dormant. It had undoubtedly switched to a short timer detonator upon the advent of his death.

Clearly he'd planned to take as many people out as possible, even in death.

"You sick son of a…" Derek didn't finish the thought as he clutched Nara tighter and ran for shore with the others.

The group barely hit the tree line when Ziven and the boat exploded. Small bits of fiberglass rained down on them, their only hope of getting Laren to a hospital quickly crumbled.

"Keep moving," Emily urged Mikael forward. "We can still get Laren back to the village and…"

"No, please… stop," Laren spoke in a horse whisper. Emily was at her side in an instant, she took Laren's hand as Mikael gently laid her down on the forest floor. "You have to promise me you'll take Nara home to my mother and father," Laren looked to Emily only. "Marta and Keith Wallace," she named them. "They're in Scotland still, I hope…"

Emily mashed her lips together, head shaking. "Laren, you'll be okay, we just have to…" she wanted to believe it so badly, but it tasted like a lie in her mouth.

Laren's breaths became ragged as she carefully formed each word. "No…" she coughed. "My mother… will not see me again… take Nara to her. Promise me, Emily. Promise you'll take my baby; keep her safe until she can be with my parents. Promise me."

She watched helplessly as blood trickled from Laren's mouth. Emily nodded stiffly. "Of course, I promise," there was nothing else she could say.

"Thank… you," Laren wheezed. "And… could you tell my mother, tell her… tell her I tried to be a good mother… as she has been to me. Tell her… I'm so… sor…"

Emily felt the young woman's hand go limp against hers before she could finish the word. She stared into Laren's dead eyes, frozen in time, unable to tell her mother she was sorry for what had happened. The poor girl stared at nothing as her life came to an end much sooner than it should've. Emily could only hear the echo of words Laren had said to her on the train. _"Please know that whatever happens, I value our time together. I appreciate your strength and what you've tried to do for me."_

With a gentle hand, Emily closed the young woman's eyes. "I appreciate your strength, Laren," she whispered. "And what you've done for all of us."

xxx

The fog grew denser as mid-afternoon settled in.

What little sunlight there'd been earlier in the day was already starting to fade. Derek just hoped it would hold out until they reached the village.

"What took you so long?" Emily asked as they walked. "You should've shot Ziven before he ever had a chance to…" she trailed off, staring down at Nara's cherub face.

Morgan walked beside her, watching over her as she carefully carried the baby through the woods. He'd offered to carry Nara, but Emily had refused. It had been enough of a struggle to pry her away from Laren's body. He hadn't wanted to press his luck with the baby. Derek ignored the accusatory tone in her voice; the first words she'd spoken since they'd set off for the village an hour ago. He knew she wasn't really upset at him. She was upset at the situation she hadn't been able to control.

He couldn't blame her for that.

"I had to wait for the right shot," Morgan calmly explained, knowing she needed some sort of focus other than Laren's death. If she wanted to lay blame on him, he was willing to take it. "I couldn't be sure where the baby was, and Ziven did a good job of keeping you and Laren close. I didn't want to risk your lives."

She moved silently for a short time after that, a third five-mile journey across the cold and rugged terrain. They were all moving on autopilot, slowly but with purpose.

"Should've been me," Emily finally spoke as they neared the village.

He'd been expecting that turn as well. Anger and accusation, blame and guilt - all stages of grief seemed to be ganging up on her in short order. "So you think it would be better for me to be walking back to the village now with Nara and Laren while you lay dead on that boat, exploded with Ziven?"

"Nara would still have her mother," Emily said in a flat tone nearly devoid of feeling. "And you'd move on with your life."

Derek wanted to stop her, halt her feet and ease her mind with reassurance. But he knew it wouldn't do any good at the moment. So he stayed close instead.

As they approached the village they were greeted by something akin to a war zone.

Fires burned along the narrow streets. Homes were in various stages of destruction, some partially burned, many completely flattened. Splintered wood and shattered stone littered the terrain. People wandered the streets aimlessly, shaking their heads and holding their hands out in a helpless gesture of shock. All Derek could really focus on, though, was that there were people moving around. There were survivors, just as Laren had said. He spotted Aggie, her old worn body trudging down the street with confusion marring her face.

"This way," someone took the old woman's hand and guided her. It was Tasha, her clothing covered in a thick layer of soot; her face freckled with black marks as well. "Derek," she called out upon seeing her friends. "Emily," Tasha motioned to them. She handed Aggie over to a medical tech and then waved someone else over.

Easter caught Tasha's wave and jogged over to meet them. He stood beside Tasha with a slightly relieved look on his face. "Wasn't sure I'd see either of you again," the man said, aiming a weary smile at Derek and Emily.

"Laren?" Tasha asked, glancing behind them but not seeing the young woman. "I was sure she went after you."

"She's gone," Emily revealed, ridged, clutching Nara to her chest. The girl, having fussed her hungry self to sleep, was blissfully unaware of any of the chaos at the moment.

Tasha's face fell, all of them knowing the truth without it being spelled out for them. "No. Oh, dear, no," she lamented. "Once Ziven left with you, Laren set us free," Tasha revealed.

"Which is when I went in to the woods and found Petrov," Easter added. "I'd told him to stay close but out of sight. He took most of his men back in to the woods to find you. The others, along with Tasha and I, went door to door as quietly as possible to avoid Ziven's men. We got everyone out of the homes because Laren told us they were wired with explosives. After the bombings in London and what happened on that train yesterday, I didn't doubt she was telling the truth."

"But then Laren silently slipped away from the group," Tasha said with a tremble in her voice. "I didn't even realize until it was too late to track her. I wish I'd been paying closer attention. But I don't suppose I could've stopped her. If it had been Elya taken, I imagine I would have done the same as Laren and gone after her."

Emily mindlessly stroked the sleeping baby's back. "Laren knew Ziven wouldn't stop, even with her and Nara in tow."

"Emily?" someone behind them spoke.

The voice caused Emily confusion as everyone she knew in the area was gathered in a tight circle around her at the moment. "I think I must be delirious," Emily shook her head. "I swear I just heard my mother's voice," she breathed deeply, hoping to push off exhaustion a little while longer.

"You're not imagining things. She's here," Easter announced. "She showed up with the cavalry just a half hour ago," he brandished a hand at the army of men and women trying to bring order to the hectic scene. "CIA, Interpol, the current American ambassador to Russian, medical personnel… you name it, your mother rounded them up to find you."

"Emily?" Liz called again.

She finally spotted her mother moving toward them. Even in the remote wooded village the ambassador was dressed smartly in business slacks. At least she had the sense to wear a long down jacket. "Mother, what are you doing here?" Emily asked as she shifted Nara to keep the girl off her injured shoulder. Nara made a soft noise of protest but quickly drifted off again, her warm breath blowing intermittently against Emily's neck.

Liz stood there before her daughter, no hug offered but the simple gesture of her hand against Emily's forearm. "Agent Morgan came to me for help," Liz stated. "After not hearing anything from him for twenty-four hours I decided to investigate. When I couldn't get ahold of Tasha and her sister informed me that she hadn't heard from her in almost two days, well, I got worried. I contacted the BAU and that technical analyst agent Morgan works with, Garcia, was able to locate you via the GPS on his phone."

"But my phone was stolen," Derek was a little annoyed by the way she kept calling him _agent_ Morgan.

"She easily traced the phone's GPS," Liz continued. "Interpol agents realized it had been taken when they found it at a house in the west end of St. Petersburg. They found and interrogated the young men responsible. From that information they tracked you from the train station to Petrov's hideout. Petrov is former Interpol. He alerted an old friend at headquarters before following your group to the village."

Derek turned to Easter. "You knew all of this?"

"Yes, most of it," Clyde responded. "I'm sorry but I could not divulge that information. It was best to keep them as a last resort."

Morgan hated not having all the information up front, but he couldn't blame Easter for hedging his bets. If Ziven had gotten wind of a large group on his tail he could've blown up the village with all of them inside buildings. "It did work out for the best," he acquiesced.

"Mother, the women here," Emily could think only of Ziven's victims at the moment. "None of them have passports. Actually, I don't either. And Derek, Tasha and Easter's were stolen."

The ambassador nodded. "I'm already aware of the situation and working on it," she replied. "I'll make sure that each of these women is properly identified and gets safe passage to their home country. I promise you, none of them will slip through the cracks," Liz vowed.

Their conversation was cut short when Petrov and Mikael emerged from the edge of the woods carrying Laren's lifeless body into the village.

"Couldn't they cover her or something," Tasha diverted her gaze to the ground out of respect for the dead woman.

Morgan regarded Emily, easily noticing the regret that had returned to her eyes. He could see her holding Nara even closer as Laren's body continued past them. "This isn't your fault," Derek's strong but gentle voice sounded in her ear as his hand rested softly against her good shoulder.

She turned her gaze his way, trying hard not to let tears fall. "She had a child, Derek," Emily sighed heavily, feeling the weight of that child in her arms. "How could she think saving my life was worth more than hers when she had something so import to fight for?" Emily hardened herself again as she faced her mother. "Laren's body… we need to make sure it goes home to her parents. So she can be properly buried."

"I'll see to it personally," the ambassador assured her daughter. "But right now you need to be looked at by a doctor," Liz could see the blood stains on Emily shoulder, seeping through the thick winter coat draped over her.

"I'm fine," Emily protested weakly.

Derek, Easter and Tasha all groaned and shook their heads at the comment. "Was she like this as a child?" Morgan asked Liz.

"Worse," the woman replied.

xxx

The hospital room in St. Petersburg was much the same as any hospital Emily had ever been in; sterile and a bit cold.

At least she had Nara's warmth snuggled against her as she lay on the exam bed. She hadn't let the baby out of her sight since they'd left the village, not even while the doctor looked them both over. Nara was happily chugging down a bottle when Derek walked into the room. "Where have you been?" Emily asked.

"Your mother insisted I be checked out by a doctor," he revealed. "And take a shower," Derek waved a hand at his clean clothes.

Emily nodded. "Well, she's never been a candidate for the June Cleaver Mother of the Year award. But she does have the mom gene."

"I thought mom jeans were unflattering clothing," Morgan said as he sat on the edge of her bed.

"I'm a little worried that you know that."

He shrugged. "Garcia keeps me informed about such things."

With a shake of her head, Emily further explained, "In this case I was referring to the genetic mom gene. The ability of mothers to get their children to do things they don't really want to do. Alternately, it's the ability to make their children feel guilty when they actually don't do what their mother wants them to do."

Morgan smiled, but let it go. "How's your shoulder?" He took her hand and gave it a soft squeeze but noticed she didn't reciprocate the gesture.

"Fine," Emily replied. "Doctor did an x-ray and said no bones were broken. He had to re-stitch some of the sutures that came loose. And I got some antibiotics for the slight infection Easter's not-so-sterile equipment caused."

"But overall I did a decent job patching you up?" Easter asked as he and Tasha entered the small room.

With barely a shrug, Emily gave in. "I suppose."

Tasha brushed a hand over the baby's soft head of hair. "She looks good. Happy to eat something."

"Doctor said she's perfectly healthy," Emily reported. She looked to Tasha. "Did you speak to your sister and Elya?"

"Yes," Tasha's face lit up at the mention of her family. "They're well. My little Elya is all better from her illness and was back in school today. It feels like we have been gone for a month or more, yet it's only been a few days," her head shook. "Oh," she eyed Emily again. "Elya wants you to know that Sergio has been doing very well, but he misses you. This is what she says," Tasha chuckled. "And he is welcome to stay with us as long as needed," Tasha added. "You are also welcome to stay with us if you need a place for a while," the woman offered.

"Thank you," Emily squeezed her old friend's hand.

"Your mother has arranged a flight for Tasha to get home tonight," Easter announced. "I'm going to drive her to the airport and then I'll be on my way back to Paris," he informed them, shaking Derek's hand. "It was a pleasure working with you, agent Morgan. We should do it again some time."

Derek chuckled softly. "No offense, but I kind of hope we don't have to," he replied.

Easter nodded his agreement that they never end up in a similar situation again. Tasha hugged Emily gently, cautious of her injured arm and the baby on her lap. "We will be in touch soon, yes?" the younger woman made sure.

"Yes," Emily kissed Tasha's cheek. "Thank you."

Clyde and Tasha exited as Liz entered.

The ambassador carried a duffle bag, which she sat at the foot of Emily's bed. "I found an address for Laren's parents; Keith and Marta Wallace live just north of Glasgow," she brandished an old school slip of paper. "They run a small Inn there," the ambassador informed them. "Do you want me to contact them before you take Nara there?"

"No," Emily shook her head. "I don't want to tell them Laren is dead over the phone. I'd like to leave in the morning. Can you get a passport for Nara as well?"

"That's not enough time to arrange an actual passport. But that Aggie woman gave me something back in the village, a folder she'd taken from the house before it exploded. It contained some papers for Nara. Apparently Aggie is a retired nurse. She helped Laren give birth so she had a birth certificate for the baby, also some immunization records. Laren was a citizen of Great Britton which gives Nara the same citizenship by decent. I've already cleared her passage into Great Britain. You shouldn't have any problems."

Elizabeth paused only a moment. "There are clothes in the bag for you," she spoke to Emily specifically. "And those papers I spoke of that Aggie gave to me."

The older woman drew in a deep breath. "I've arranged flights for the three of you to London then Glasgow, and for a car to meet you at the airport. The driver will take you further north to the Wallace address," she fished an item from her purse. "Here," Liz handed the small piece of plastic to Emily. "It's a pre-paid credit card. I put five thousand US dollars on it for whatever you might need. I know everything you own was destroyed. And it might take some time to get your identification back in order to access financials."

"I have my wallet and credit cards back," Derek stated. "We don't need to take your money."

"Please," Liz spoke softer as she looked to Derek and then Emily again. "It'll make me feel better."

"Thank you, mother," Emily took the card without any further argument. "Thank you for everything you've done, all the arrangements you've made for everyone. No one else could have done all that so quickly. I really appreciate it."

"Well, if there's one thing I'm good at its cutting through red tape," Liz shrugged off the compliment. "I should go now and arrange travel for myself back to the states. Your father and I have an important gathering to attend this Friday. I wasn't sure I'd make it back or not, but now it seems I'll be able to."

"You'll say hi to him for me?" Emily asked.

"I will," Liz agreed. She hesitated for a moment and then went to Emily's side. "I'm very glad you're alright," Liz spoke softly as she kissed Emily's cheek. "I'll call you soon?"

Emily nodded. "Sounds good."

xxx

Marta Wallace sat on a floral patterned wingback chair, Nara bouncing on her lap.

The Inn was cozy and old fashioned.

On the wall behind grandmother and granddaughter a large painting hung, which Emily couldn't stop admiring. The nearly photo realistic scene depicted a tall cliff face topped by emerald grass. Below the rocky cliff the ocean seemed to be in motion, roaring onto shore. But the painted sky showed a clear day with only a few white fluffy clouds. It was a contradiction of rage and tranquility. A lot like Emily felt inside at the moment as she watched Laren's mother engage with little Nara.

Emily could see very little of Laren in the woman. From the photos in the room that Emily had spied, she could tell that Laren had favored her father's side of the family; red-brown hair and lighter eyes. Little Nara looked even less like her grandmother, having also favored her father's side of the genetic code. But the baby seemed interested in the woman, and responsive to her. Emily guessed it was because she'd spent a great deal of time with Aggie taking care of her.

"I'd like to know what happened to Laren," Marta spoke, traces of a Russian accent still lingered after thirty plus years of life in Scotland. "How did she die?"

"Maybe we should wait for your husband?" Derek asked.

Nara squirmed a bit. She was as vibrant and active as Emily had ever seen her, yet Marta had a calm manner with the child that settled her with ease. "We would be waiting for quite some time, I'm afraid. Keith passed away last year," she revealed. "That was my greatest fear upon seeing Laren again," Marta revealed. "Having to tell her that her father had passed. They were very close. But I suppose I've been saved that torture," she concluded.

Telling Marta of Laren's death had been one of the hardest things for Emily. Thankfully it had been tempered by Nara's sweet, innocent presence.

"I am sixty-eight this year," Marta spoke again. "Keith was nearly twenty years my senior and many said it would never work between us, but we knew different. We were married many years before Laren was born. We prayed for a child a very long time. Keith and I wanted everything for her that we never had."

"I think that's what most parents want," Derek commented.

Marta nodded. "She was very talented, don't you think?" the women turned to look at the painting behind her that had caught Emily's eye.

"Laren painted this?" Emily finally looked at the scrawl at the bottom of the artwork. The initials LW stared back at her.

"Her painting skills won a scholarship to that fancy London school," Marta replied, seeming eager to talk about her daughter. "For the first two years she would write and call home to us, tell us all about the place and how happy she was. Then the contact slowly went away. One day the school officials told us she was gone. They explained that her scholarship had been revoked due to her grades slipping. She always was more an artist than a scholar."

"She must have been devastated," Emily sighed, knowing now why Laren had gone in search of money.

"I wouldn't know," Marta said. "I could only guess that yes, you are correct. She always worried so much about making us proud…" the woman sniffed, but her tears came despite her attempt to stop them. "Did she suffer?"

Emily sat beside Marta and began to retell what all she knew of Laren's situation. She left nothing out, knowing the mother needed to hear it all. It wasn't easy for either of them, the telling or the hearing. But their love for Laren got them through it. "Laren helped save many lives, mine included," Emily let her know. "She did make some wrong choices along the way, but she also made a few very right choices. You would've been proud of her."

"I always was," Marta smiled through her tears. "Thank you."

"We should be going," Emily got to her feet and Derek stood with her. She looked down at Nara, seeing how comfortable the baby was with her grandmother. "Could I come and visit you both sometime?" Emily asked, not ready to sever all ties with Laren's loved ones.

"I'd like that very much," Marta nodded. "And I imagine Nara would as well."

"Goodbye, sweet girl," Emily whispered as she leaned in to kiss the baby's soft and chubby cheek. Nara looked up at her and flashed a toothy baby grin as she giggled. Emily pulled away quickly, turned away from the girl and swiftly walked to the door with Derek at her side. She paused before exiting, spotting another painting hanging to the right of the door frame. It was a much smaller painting than the cliff, but it reflected a perfect likeness of a train stopped at a station. Again Laren's initials dotted the left hand corner.

Emily tried to take it as a positive sign, the memory of when she'd first met Laren on the train. But it was too hard not to recall all the things that had followed that meeting.

She trailed Derek and stepped outside into the cool December afternoon air. Downy soft flakes of pristine snow began to fall as they stood on the stone walkway.

"It's beautiful here," Derek smiled, watching snowflakes fall on Emily's dark hair and shimmer in the afternoon light. "But we should probably get going before a storm hits," he added.

She observed the snow, flittering aimlessly across the gray sky. "Go where? I don't have a home anymore."

"Of course you do," Derek insisted. "Either with Sergio at Tasha's place for now, or with me," he hinted. "You know, a while back we planned to visit my mother for her birthday. We still can. We can hang out with my family for as long as you like or until you can't stand them any longer," Derek joked. He noticed she wasn't smiling. There was darkness in her eyes that he'd never seen before. "After Chicago we can work out a plan for you to return to London or stay in DC with me," he gently probed, wondering which way she'd lean.

"Okay," Emily agreed, not expanding on his suggestions.

Morgan reached for her hand but she didn't take it. She moved toward the cab. He tried not to be offended, tried not to let her behavior worry him, but it wasn't working too well. Derek wasn't upset by her sudden lack of physical closeness. But he knew what it might herald if he let it go on for too long. He knew she was burying things in her head again, and possibly closing off her heart this time. Laren's situation had hit far too close to home for her and he couldn't blame her for grieving. But he wasn't about to let her lose her way.

Derek held the cab door for her. "You all right?" he gently reminded her he was there for her, no matter what.

"I'm fine," Emily responded tiredly before she slipped in to the back of the cab.

* * *

><p><strong>The End (well, you know the drill... there will probably be more...)<strong>


	47. Roses

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

* * *

><p><strong>Roses<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>"Do you really think he's okay?" Emily asked.<p>

"I think he will be, given enough time," Derek replied. "She was his first love and that's a rough way for it to end. I can relate to what he's going through right now, a little," he sighed, not wanting to let on via their phone conversation just how much he'd mourned thinking her dead.

She gnawed her lip. "I can't believe no one told me until now, but I guess I should've been paying closer attention," Emily felt rather distant from her old team at the moment. Her heart ached for Reid and she wished she'd been there for him. From what Derek said the team was taking care of their youngest member. But hearing about Reid and agent Blake becoming close caused a jolt of jealousy to grip her. She knew it was foolish, though. Her relationship with Reid was unique; a sibling familiarity that she knew couldn't be shaken.

"It wasn't your lack of attention," Morgan assured her. "Reid's been keeping most of it locked up pretty tight."

"I'd like to call him," Emily expressed. "Do you think he'd be receptive?"

"He loves you, Emily," Derek's response was swift and confident. "I think it'd be good for you to talk to him. But maybe give him a little more time."

Emily sat back in her comfy office chair. She hadn't been very busy the last few days, which was kind of nice. Not even a year on the job she was still trying to learn all the ins and outs, as well as getting to know the people in her office. It hadn't been an easy few months. And thinking about her friends back in DC made it all the more difficult. But she'd wanted a change, wanted the challenge. "How are you doing?" she shifted the subject slightly. "We haven't really talked since Halloween."

"I know and I'm sorry about that," he honestly conveyed. "I told you I'd book a flight and man up. Tell you all the things I've been meaning to say for a while now. I didn't follow through," he fully acknowledged. "I feel bad about that, trust me. But the cases lately have been heavy," Derek easily relied on excuses. "Then I went home for my mama's birthday. After that trip all of this went down with Reid. The last few weeks I've wanted to stay close for him. You understand?"

She nodded but realized he couldn't see her. "I do. You're a good friend." Emily didn't blame him for taking care of others first. But she also couldn't help wishing he wanted to make her a priority in his life. She felt foolish for thoughts like that, but ever since their Halloween call she hadn't been able to stop them from slipping in every once in a while. "I've been thinking maybe we should just…" she was cut off by a knock at her office door. Emily groaned, "Hold on a sec, Derek." To the door she directed her next words. "Enter."

A young man stepped only a few feet in to the office and anxiously shifted his weight from one foot to the other. He held a large arrangement of flowers, red roses with baby's breath and some greenery, in a vase grasped carefully with both hands. "I have a delivery, for a…" he looked at the slip of paper wrapped around the vase. "Emily Prentiss. The lady at the desk out there said that was you, last door on the left."

"Yes," she involuntarily smiled to see the red flowers. "That's me," Emily sat her cell phone down and walked around her desk to take the surprising gift from him. "Thank you."

He gave a brief nod and then darted back through the door and closed it on his way out.

Emily took a moment to count them. One, two… twelve was her final number; an even dozen. She inhaled the sweet fragrance of the red roses. Her eyes closed and she was lost for a moment, not sure when she'd last received flowers. In fact she wasn't even sure she'd ever gotten roses delivered to her before. The moment lasted just a second longer when she remembered Derek was still waiting on the line for her. Emily put the flowers on the edge of her desk and snatched up the phone.

"I'm so sorry," she apologized. "I just had a delivery of… uh, just some files I've been waiting for."

"Why are you lying to me?" Derek asked.

"What?" Emily stared at her cell phone wondering if she'd accidently hit the camera button so he could see her and the flowers she'd lied about. "Why would you say that?"

Morgan chuckled. "I know you, Emily. I can tell when you're keeping things to yourself. It's in your voice."

With a smile she looked to her roses again and noticed a small square card stuck to a plastic stick. "You're good," Emily recognized. "I just had some flowers delivered. Messenger mentioned me by name but there's a card, I'm guessing they got delivered to me by mistake."

"Maybe you should read the card," he suggested. "Might figure out who they're really for."

She shrugged and swiped the card from the bouquet. The handwriting was blocky and in red ink. Emily didn't recognize the writing. "Roses are red, violets are blue," she read the tried and true beginning. But the next part was not what she'd been expecting. "I've been missing you, hope you miss me too."

"Who's been missing you?" Derek asked through the line. "Have you been seeing someone?"

"No, of course not," she was instantly defensive. For the most part his tone had been teasing, but she delighted in the small note of jealousy in his voice. "You'd probably know if I was seeing someone, secret agent man," she tried to make a joke of it. "Besides, I thought…" Emily paused, not wanting to bring up their Halloween conversation again. That had been almost four months ago and all of his earlier excuses made her think he'd changed his mind. She honestly couldn't blame him. It was probably best to just let it go.

Truth was, when he'd told her he wanted to talk to her in person, she'd been extremely nervous. And her life was better spent focused on work at the moment.

"You thought what?" he prompted.

"Nothing, I've just been very busy at work the last few months," she lied. "No time for any sort of dating or romance."

"Well, even if they were delivered to you by mistake there's not much you can do since there was no sender name on the card, right?" he reasoned. "You can't really track down who they belong to so I say you might as well enjoy them."

Emily chuckled. "Maybe I will."

"Good, you should," he fired back. "Hey, I really hate to end this but I've got to run. We're meeting in ten and I haven't looked at the case file yet."

"Naughty boy," she tsked, trying to figure out how to end their conversation. Love you was out of the question. Goodbye always seemed too final for her. And see you later was rather disillusioning because she knew she wouldn't see him any time soon. "Take care," Emily settled on.

"Talk to you later," he replied before disconnecting.

She sighed and tossed her cell on the desk. "Talk to you later," Emily nodded. "That's a good one. Wish I'd thought of it."

There was another knock at her door and she feared the delivery boy had returned to take her beautiful roses away. Instead, her assistant Marcy stepped in; her red hair and warm smile permanent fixtures of the Interpol office. For which Emily was grateful. "I heard that kid say your name as he rushed by with a bunch of roses," she said. "Who sent them?"

"I have no idea. I don't even know if they're meant for me," Emily glanced at them again.

"Maybe they have something to do with that arrow shooting baby holiday tomorrow?" Marcy asked.

"Do you mean Valentine's Day?" Emily laughed at the woman's description, but realized it was a pretty ridiculous holiday. At least marketing and consumerism had turned it in to one, as it did most holidays. She glanced at the date on her computer and realized Marcy was right. "Huh, that certainly snuck up on me. But typically on Valentine's Day your significant other sends you flowers or chocolates. I don't have any sweetheart in my life, not for a long while."

Marcy shrugged. "I happen to know Oliver, the parcel delivery bloke, has a thing for you."

"Ollie?" Emily scrunched her nose. Marcy was sweet, but gossipy. A little like Garcia except less eccentric. Way less. Earlier thoughts of Reid and now Garcia caused Emily to miss her friends back in DC. All of which lead her to make a guess at who the roses had come from. "I think I know who sent them. Just some dear old friends," she concluded.

xxx

The roses filled her small flat with a wonderful aroma.

She'd walked them out of her office earlier; lavishing in the envious looks shot her way, which had made her feel special for a short time no matter who'd given them to her. She'd tried to get ahold of Garcia but the woman's private line kept going to voicemail. Emily reasoned the team was on a case and couldn't be reached. She gave up for the night and settled on the sofa across from her lovely red blossoms. Earlier she hadn't been able to recall her last gift of flowers. Now she bitterly remembered the ones Doyle had sent her.

Sergio jumped onto the sofa and meowed loudly. "You're just jealous," Emily stroked his inky black fur as she tried to push aside memories of Doyle. "Because no one ever sends you flowers." After circling several times the cat settled down on her lap and instantly began to purr.

She sipped her white wine and closed her eyes to enjoy the flower's fragrance and the warmth of Sergio's company.

Her doorbell rang.

"Sorry, pal," Emily whispered to her feline friend as she stood and disturbed his cozy resting spot. The cat jumped down and followed her. Emily peered through the small peep hole and then glanced down at the cat. "Get ready to attack if he's a bad guy," she joked and opened the door. A young cheerful delivery woman greeted them with a red box tucked under one arm. "Sign here," she presented an electronic clipboard.

Emily signed and was handed the red box. She closed her door and glanced at the package. "Chocolates," her lips formed the word as she reached for a card taped to the box. Emily unfolded the small card and read the newest poem, "Sweet and dark, hope that this gift might create a spark."

"What the heck," Emily dropped the box onto her counter and opened it. She gazed at the delectable array of strawberries, all of them half-dipped in dark chocolate. For a moment she let herself be a profiler and worried that the treats might be laced with some sort of poison. But she pushed aside the logical half of her brain and plucked one strawberry from the box.

It burst when she bit in to it. Sweet juicy fruit mingled with the sharpness of dark chocolate. The sip of wine she sent after it completed the glorious combination.

A half hour later she was on the sofa again. Her head lolled against the back rest, belly gorged on chocolate strawberries, and wine going to her head.

The doorbell rang again.

This time it was an older delivery man who handed over a stuffed animal. Emily clutched the small white bear to her chest. He had a red heart embroidered across the place where a real heart would reside on a human. Emily plunked back on to her sofa and read the latest card. "Soft and tender. One kiss for the bear. And one for the sender?"

"Okay, now I'm a little creeped out," Emily held the bear at arm's length and scrutinized it.

It gazed back at her with glossy black eyes and a friendly grin.

"Harmless enough," she smiled.

Sometime later she was woken by her doorbell.

Emily had the little bear tucked protectively under one arm as she trudged toward the door. She didn't even bother looking through the safety peep hole. The door was flung open with exasperation. "Look, this gift thing started off nice enough but now I'm beginning to think it's a little stalker-ish and even…" Emily trailed off when she finally looked to see just who was standing on the other side of her open door. "Derek?" she was speechless for a minute after that.

"It's my poetry, right?" he asked. "I know it's not great but rhyming stuff is tricky. I'm sorry if I freaked you out."

"Huh? What, uh, no…" she remained flustered for a time, trying to reconcile the thought that she'd just been talking to him hours ago and now he was standing at her door. He was wearing his leather jacket with a dark hoodie underneath and Emily hated how much his casual appearance turned her on. "I didn't realize it was you," her arms crossed over her chest in an attempt to ward off her slightly tipsy thoughts. "Wait a minute, where were you when we talked earlier?"

"At my hotel just a few minutes cab ride from here," he revealed.

Emily smiled, her stern stance falling by the wayside. "So when we were on the phone and that delivery came, you knew I was lying because you knew what the delivery was before I even said it was roses. And you pretended…" Emily trailed off, head shaking. "You're a much better actor than I would've guessed, Derek Morgan."

"Can I come in?" Morgan asked, testing the waters. "Or are you mad?"

"I'm not mad," she stepped aside and waved him in. As she watched him walk toward her living room she couldn't help think she was a little surprised. But not mad.

"The place looks good," Derek spoke as he removed his jacket and tossed it over a chair. "Definitely more lived in since Garcia and I were here. Hey, Sergio," he spotted the cat and squatted to pet the animal. "How you been, buddy?"

She watched as he gently scratched behind Sergio's left ear. Emily was impressed he remembered her cat's sweet spot. It was endearing. With a slightly frustrated sigh, she did her best to shake the words sweet and spot out of her head as Derek plunked down on her sofa. She sat beside him, much closer than she'd planned. Her body certainly seemed to have a course plotted for her that she wasn't aware of. "I can't believe you're here."

Derek let his hand rest against her shoulder. "I'm sorry about the lack of warning," his fingers caressed her neck. He noticed the teddy bear under her arm. "The bear was over the top. Garcia said to add a bear, but it's a bit too high school, isn't it?"

"A little," she agreed with a chuckle. "But he's okay… soft and tender…"

Emily felt the slight pressure of his hand against the back of her neck and let her body react naturally. The rest of his poem attached to the bear resounded loudly in her head - one kiss for the bear and one for… their lips easily sought one another, a first kiss nearly six years after meeting. But unlike the bear it was only soft and tender for a moment. Desire quickly helped it evolve in to something more than a simple kiss. Her heartbeat accelerated. It had been well worth the wait.

He was the one who broke it off. "Can we talk?" Morgan asked.

"Talk?" the warm sting of his lips lingered in her sense memory. "Sure," Emily sat back a little. "So… Garcia knows you're here and actually encouraged you in this endeavor?"

"I didn't need encouragement," Derek was quick to say. But the way she looked at him with her knowing brown gaze caused him to relax. "Okay, maybe I needed a little encouragement. But this wasn't…" he sighed. "I mean, this isn't just some endeavor, Emily." Derek chuckled nervously. "Why are you the only woman I get flustered around?"

She shrugged. "Sorry?"

Morgan smiled, seeing her hair was slight mussed. He guessed he'd woken her. "You're beautiful when uncertain," he reached for her again. "But you shouldn't be. Uncertain, that is, not beautiful." Derek took a moment to clear his head. "This is all a bit complicated and I think maybe I've made it worse by coming here on the eve of Valentine's Day to tell you I love you. The roses, the chocolates and a bear. I know it's all kind of corny and I really wanted this to be serious. I want us to be serious," he let her know.

"You love me?" Emily hadn't heard much else.

"Of course I love you," he held her hand and traced the lines that crisscrossed her palm. "I have for years as your friend."

"Friend?" she bit her lip, starting to hate the way she kept parroting him.

"Which is what makes this so tricky," Derek hoped not to confuse her, but he was still a bit muddled himself. "I came here to finally tell you how much I want our relationship to move beyond mere friendship. But at the same time I don't want to jeopardize that friendship in case we don't work out for whatever reason. Does that make sense?"

Emily nodded. When they'd spoken on Halloween his sudden desire to talk had seemed out of the blue. Now she was fairly sure where their conversation was headed. And she didn't want to take the same road of retreat she'd been traveling most of her life. "It could be awkward, but it could also be wonderful if we allow ourselves to be open to it," she tried to clear up any doubts he might still be having. "And if we never take the risk how will we know what we've been missing?"

He kissed her hand, continually amazed by her ability to adapt to life. "Have you ever thought about it, us being more than friends?"

"Yes," her reply was instant.

"And what was it like in your imagination?" he gently prodded.

"It was a lot more X-rated than this, with far less talking," Emily let slip. She sucked in a nervous breath and squeezed his hand. "But I like the talking," she admitted.

Derek grinned, admiring her honesty. "So do I. But I also liked the kissing," he reveled.

xxx

Emily woke the next morning with him molded to her backside.

She felt something feather light trailing across her bare shoulder and down her arm. It was different than the sensation of his fingers, which she clearly remembered from the night before. Emily finally turned to investigate and found him running the soft pedals from one of the roses along her skin. The sight of his loving ministrations caused desire to rise in her belly again. She closed her eyes and wished for the real world to stay just outside the realm of her bedroom.

"I'd be lying if I said I'd never thought about our relationship in X-rated terms," Derek whispered, kissing her cheek and drawing her eyes open again. "But I want it to be more than that. That's why I'm here. I still don't know how it all might work, but I want us to have a real relationship."

With a gentle nod she voiced her agreement. "We have a lot more talking to do, but right now I have to go to work," she said, wishful thinking aside.

"Why?" he rested his chin against her arm and stared up at her with pleading eyes.

"Because it's my job," she chuckled.

"But what am I supposed to do all day without you?"

"Sightsee," Emily replied as she began the rather difficult task of extracting herself from his embrace.

"You're a cruel woman," Derek flopped on to his back and held the rose to his nose.

Emily stopped her movements and watched him for a moment. The white sheets bunched around his waist, revealing just a hint of the curve of his hip. She reached out to touch that spot, weak of the flesh. "It's a cruel world," she panted. With much more resolve than she felt, Emily sat up again. "You're not leaving today are you?"

"No," he reassured, sitting up with her. "I have a couple weeks off."

"Oh, good. And you're staying at the hotel or…"

"Unless I get a better offer."

Her eyes rolled. "You just did, genius," she pointed out. He dropped the flower on to her bed and snatched her up in his arms. His lips pressed against hers for only a brief moment before she pushed against his chest. "Really?" Emily asked. "A morning-breath kiss after our first night together? You are a smitten kitten, aren't you?"

He nodded vigorously.

"Easy there, big fella," she grinned. "You know what they say about slow and steady winning the race."

"I thought I'd already won your heart," he whispered, kissing her earlobe instead.

"Good gravy, man," Emily chuckled as he kept at it. "Are you always this sickeningly sweet first thing in the morning? I might need to rethink this whole relationship." She didn't pull away, though, secretly enjoying his lavish attention.

Morgan held her close, staring deep into her eyes. "Are you very sure you want to go to work today?" he inquired as his hands began to roam again. "Because I had plans."

"Oh, yeah?" her brow arched.

"My plan starts with kissing this spot," his lips returned to her ear. He kissed just below the lobe where her ear and jawline connected. "All morning," he spoke between kisses. "And then I was going to bring you breakfast in bed," Derek added. "After that I planned to kiss…" his mouth moved downward and rested against her belly. "This button area for most of the afternoon," his hands rested against her hips as his lips again wandered south.

"Derek," she groaned. "I really…"

"After some evening sustenance," he didn't let her finish. His mouth veered right. "I was hoping to pay particularly close attention to this area right here where your thigh connects to your… hip," Derek suckled the bare skin there for a moment.

With a grimace of reluctance, Emily exerted a great deal of effort to finally escape him and the bed. "I have to shower. I'm already going to be late as it is." She dashed to the bathroom but barely had the water turned on when his arms snaked around her waist and his lips suckled her neck again. "No," she shook her head and stepped in to the shower.

He followed her in and backed her against the cool tile wall.

"Excuse me, mister grabby hands, but you're the one who showed up here unannounced. I can't just take time off whenever. I'm the boss," Emily groaned as he kissed her.

"Say that again," he whispered.

"What?" But it only took her a second to realize the desire behind his words. "I'm the boss?" she watched his pupils dilate and grinned. "You're like a horny teenager."

"I have way more stamina than a teenager," he promised.

"No, I have work," Emily turned her head in an attempt to deter him. "No," she squirmed against his assaulting kisses, though not too adamantly. His hands slid along the slippery surface of her waist, her thighs, her…"No," her resolve had already slipped too far to put much weight behind the word, no matter how many times she repeated it.

Morgan kissed her forehead as he pushed wet hair behind her ears. "Yesterday you called me something on the phone, when I told you I hadn't read over the case file yet," he held her close against him but refrained from stepping off the cliff just yet.

"Your non-existent case file," she rebuked.

"Say it again," he whispered as his lips kissed water rivulets flowing down her shoulder.

Emily fully gave up the pretense of getting to work on time, knowing exactly what he was getting at. "Naughty boy," she moaned against his skilled lips, "Very naughty boy."

It was a full hour before she was finally showered and dressed and ready to walk out of her flat. She called her assistant and made an excuse for her tardiness, a rather flimsy lie about Sergio clawing up her hosiery. Emily had bag in hand and determination in her step, yet she found herself at Derek's mercy once more as he backed her against the door with his strong hands at her waist. "I'd like to take you on a date. Have dinner with me tonight?" he asked.

"Dinner together would be lovely. But right now I _really_ need to go to work," she insisted, growing slightly annoyed by his behavior.

Derek gave her a last kiss on the lips and unenthusiastically let go of her waist. But she was barely out the door when he caught her hand, stopping her forward momentum. He caressed her palm but easily noticed the exasperation reflected in her eyes. "Sorry," he apologized sincerely, letting her hand go, "Just wanted to wish you a Happy Valentine's Day."

Her smile belayed any annoyance she'd been feeling a moment ago. "Happy Valentine's Day, Derek."

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	48. Understanding

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

**Thank you all for your kind comments on recent chapters!**

* * *

><p><strong>Understanding<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>Emily jolted awake.<p>

It took her a moment to realize she was on an airplane - the fourth flight she'd been on in about a twenty-four hour period. They'd gone from Russia to London, to Glasgow. Back to London and now were on their way to Chicago. Just like her train and boat journey a few days ago, Emily was starting to wonder if she'd ever not be in motion again. It was actually making her feel a bit sick to her stomach. Adding to her sick feeling were far too many meandering thoughts to keep track of.

"I never asked my mother about what will happen to Aggie and the other villagers," she voiced one of those thoughts to the man beside her. "Their homes were destroyed."

Derek had seen her whole body quake upon waking up. He'd wanted to comfort her, reassure her. But she'd been distant the entire trip. He wasn't even sure if she wanted him to respond to her now, but he felt compelled to. "I mean no offence to Aggie or the others, Emily, but they knew what they were doing. They harbored kidnaped victims in their homes for money, probably for many years. I know Aggie was old and sweet, but she broke the law. That's the ugly truth of it," Derek conveyed.

She knew he was right, but it still didn't settle well in her stomach. "Probably they had no other choice. I doubt Ziven gave them much of one. Help me or you die," Emily guessed that was an ultimatum he might have made. "He tried to kill them all in the end."

"Nothing is ever black and white," Derek conceded.

"No," she replied.

Morgan watched her for a while. He didn't like the way she kept shifting in her seat, seeming uncomfortable and trapped. He'd never known her to have difficulty with flying. But her eyes darted around the plane, surveying her surroundings. She was being hyper vigilant and it broke his heart that after everything she'd just been through she couldn't manage to relax. "You have to find a way to let it go, Emily," he tried to confront her again about her guilt. "Laren wouldn't want you to dwell on it."

"But her death has destroyed Nara's whole world," Emily responded. "We left that little girl in a strange new place with an old woman who probably shouldn't even being taking care of a child. She lost her husband last year and now her daughter."

"I think Marta is stronger than you give her credit. A lot of people raise their grandchildren," Derek pointed out. "Frankly, Nara losing Ziven as a father figure was no great loss. Probably the best thing that could've happened for her," he once more spoke the hard truth.

Emily had no argument for losing that half of Nara's parentage. "But maybe I should've just stayed out of it. We could've left St. Petersburg after the train exploded. Or we could have let Ziven get away with Laren and Nara. Laren would still be alive."

"She'd still be with Ziven," Derek expelled his words with frustration. He felt somewhat like he was beating a dead horse.

"But she'd be alive."

"For how long, Emily?" Derek sighed. He tried to keep calm and still get his point across. "Her relationship with Ziven was shaky at best. It was a ticking time bomb given the fact that he had no qualms about blowing her or Nara up. You know all this, I know you do. Laren is dead, yes. But odds are Ziven would have done her in at some point. And this way she went out on her own terms. She died putting an end to Ziven's reign. And she died saving her daughter and you. I hate to say it, but that's a good way to go."

Again she couldn't argue that he wasn't right, because he was. But that knowledge didn't put her nerves to rest.

Emily leaned forward and dug through the duffle bag her mother had brought to the hospital in Russia. It wasn't the easiest task with her injured shoulder strung up in a sling, but she managed all right as she moved her search to the seat pocket in front of her. Coming up empty both times, her right hand rummaged through the pockets of the fleece jacket she was wearing. All the while she kept a watchful eye on everyone else around her on the plane.

"You're making me nervous, Em," Derek finally voiced his concern. "What are you looking for?"

"I lost them," she sat back with a heavy sigh, "the Scrabble tiles. I think I left them in the pocket of that jacket I was wearing. Hospital laundry took those clothes, they probably threw them away. And I'm not sure if Interpol is even going to ask me back to the London job. I know they're calling this a leave of absence, but…" she took a tiny breath before concluding with, "I doubt your mom wants me to just show up for her birthday unannounced."

His head ached for a moment at the speed with which she'd voiced all those worries in quick succession. Derek was tired of her distance and carefully pulled her close. He nearly had to force her head to rest against his shoulder, but was glad that she didn't pull away. "I spoke to mama when you went to the restroom at Heathrow just before we boarded. She's happy to have you visit, I promise," Derek kissed her temple. "And we can worry about that other stuff later. Or not."

She gave a soft nod of her head.

"Right now," he whispered. "We have about two hours left till we land and I want you to rest some more."

"Not sure I can," her voice was already drowsy.

He smiled. "Just close your eyes then."

Derek stayed with her that way for the rest of their flight. He'd slept beside her enough to know she hadn't fallen asleep this time. But her body had at least relaxed some. He couldn't be sure of her mind, though. They exited the flight, trudged through customs and were finally able to breathe fresh air again outside the airport. That was how Fran came upon them, standing on the curb in the chilly Chicago afternoon breeze. "Mama, I told you we'd get a car," Derek was surprised by her presence, but he greeted her with a happy hug.

Fran held on to him for at least a minute. "I wanted to see you for myself, make sure you were really okay. Running off to Russia like that without any kind of plan or…" she waved a hand and shook her head, unable to stay mad when he was standing there now. "I'll take you to lunch. Desi's still cleaning her place for the two of you."

"What?" Emily looked to Derek and then his mother. "We'll get a hotel. I don't want to put anyone out."

"Nonsense," Fran would hear none of it as she let go of Derek and moved toward Emily with her arms outstretched. "Desi is staying with me for however long you two are here. And I will hear no more of it from either of you."

Morgan grinned as he eyed Emily. "She's got the mom gene, too."

Emily cracked a small smile but it was upstaged by Fran's gracious hug. For a moment Emily was wary of the woman's approach, but as soon as Fran's arms wrapped about her Emily gave in to them. She felt warm and loved by a woman she barely knew. More than she could say of her mother's brief kiss against her cheek in the hospital. Fran's love was open and honest, not reserved like Elizabeth Prentiss. Emily tried to remember a time when she'd felt as loved by a parent as she did in Fran's embrace.

She couldn't.

xxx

Her eyes fluttered open to see Derek starring at her and she flinched.

"Sorry," he instantly felt bad for startling her. "I was just checking on you. You've been asleep since Monday night," Derek said.

Emily stretched her body, finding that she was relatively free from aches and pains. Her shoulder was still a bit tender, but healing quickly. She blinked and tried to search the bedroom for a clock of some sort. The room was tastefully modern with cozy touches. Definitely a womanly influence on the décor, fitting given it was Desiree's apartment. Dusky gray walls were serene, restful. And they were tempered by fluffy white and lavender bedding. "What time is it?" she finally asked.

"Almost noon, on Wednesday," Morgan answered. "Are you hungry?"

She shook her head, not too surprised she'd finally been able to sleep so deeply. "I'd like a shower first."

His brows arched. "Need any help with that?"

"How long have you been awake?" she wondered, knowing he'd probably been hovering and worrying. But he seemed well rested and even playful. Emily had been relieved to know he hadn't suffered any major injury after being hoisted over the lighthouse railing by Ziven's thugs. Seeing his smiling face made it all seem so distant now, that time in Russia. Languishing in Desiree's comfy apartment in Chicago felt like a dream - a good one. "If I need any help I'll call you in," Emily teased.

He nodded and helped her to her feet then pointed her toward the bathroom. Derek was glad to see her looking better and even happier to hear her somewhat jovial tone return.

Emily emerged from the bedroom an hour later, shaved legs, clean hair, even clean clothes that Sarah had brought over for her. She padded to the kitchen and found a memory waiting for her. Derek had chocolate croissants and tea set out for her at the table. Same meal they'd shared at her London flat when he'd first come to visit her. "Thank you," Emily said before diving in to the meal with gusto, not realizing just how hungry she actually was.

Morgan grinned, satisfied as he watched her. He slowly chewed his own croissant. "Dinner plans tonight are to join my family at mama's place. She's making some sort of big pasta meal. Sarah and her husband and two kids will be there. Desiree is bringing some guy named Kyle. I haven't met him yet."

She could hear the big brother protective tone in his voice. "I'm sure Desiree knows well enough to pick a good guy."

Derek harrumphed, but nodded. "I hope it's okay I told mama we'd be there. I can cancel. They'd all understand. Saturday night is her birthday gathering, though, which will be at Sarah's place. For sure we need to be there or they'll send out the cops."

"We are the cops," Emily chuckled. "Sort of."

His chewing stopped as he regarded her. "It's good to hear you laugh."

Emily tried not to feel guilty for laughing. Or for the way she'd been fretting over the ordeal they'd been through. She prided herself on being calm under pressure. But the last few days, taking Nara to her grandmother's and having to tell Marta of her daughter's death. It had all been a lot to take. And it was nice to finally be able to let go of some of it. "So what time is dinner tonight?"

"About seven," Derek resumed eating, "Gives us a good chunk of time to kill. Thought maybe we could go buy you some new clothes?"

"I'd like to go for a walk," she countered. "I want to enjoy not being on a train or a boat or a plane. And maybe we can shop later."

Morgan nodded. "A walk it is."

When their meal was finished they cleaned the small kitchen, bundled up and set out on their walk. It had snowed a little overnight but the afternoon sun had melted it a bit. They walked along the slushy sidewalks, narrowly missing out on the spray kicked up by vehicles speeding by. Two hours in to their walk, hand in hand, having barely said a word to one another, Derek and Emily found themselves in front of the Upward Youth Center building.

A group of young boys were across the street playing a game of football in the vacant lot with no grass or turf. They scuffled and ran plays on the slush covered concrete ground.

"You should go watch," Emily said, letting go of his hand and nudging him toward the group.

"Do you wanna…" he pointed a finger at the boys, "Join me?"

"Nah, I think I'll poke around inside the center," she gently pushed him away. "Go on, have fun. Take your time," Emily opened the old squeaky door and took her leave of Derek. The space inside was as she remembered, an open area marred by dim lighting. Some of the old fixtures were completely dark. But that didn't thwart the crowd. Groups of kids huddled around a dilapidated foosball table, a pool table whose felt was in shreds, and a ping pong table that looked like carpenter ants had infested it.

"You're Emily, right?"

She turned to spy the source of the male voice and stared into somewhat familiar eyes. "James?" Emily smiled, though she was surprised to see the young man standing before her who she remembered as more of a boy. He was a good deal taller and had bulked up a bit, but still slim and somewhat shy looking. It was hard to think it had been nearly six years ago since they'd met. "What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I'm on holiday break from school," James replied. "I volunteer here as much as I can when I'm home. The Center still doesn't have a full time director."

"What are you, a sophomore now?"

The boy grinned. "Junior over at Northwestern. Derek went there, too."

"He did," she nodded, not surprised the boy had wanted to follow in Derek's footsteps. "Junior, huh? Making me feel old, James," Emily lamented, though she wore a smile.

"You still look as fine as when I first met you here," James complimented.

"You're sweet."

"Derek here with you?" he asked.

Emily pointed to the door. "He's watching the game across the street. You should go out there," she suggested. "I know he'd like to see you. And I'm guessing you're a lot better at playing catch than I would be."

"I'd love to, but…" James waved a hand around the crowded room. "School is out for the day, lots of kids here. I'm meant to be watching them."

"I'll watch them for a while," Emily offered.

James looked uncertain of the idea. "I don't know. Lacey Newman is here," he nodded his head toward a dark corner to his right. A girl of about sixteen was seated on a metal folding chair, a magazine open in her hands. But she didn't seem terribly interested in the item. "She's been on edge lately." His voice lowered. "Her best friend was killed two weeks ago in a drive by. Girl has been ditching school most days since. And her fuse is real short, been in a few fights here lately."

"I can handle Lacey," Emily insisted. "Go see Derek."

He smiled, grateful of the offer. "I'll just be ten minutes," James promised her.

Emily watched him exit and then focused again on the ping pong table. There were two girls about twelve playing against one boy who was probably only eight or nine. The girls were both of African American heritages, as most at the youth center were. But the boy looked to have a bit of Latino mixed into his background. Emily definitely understood she was the minority in the room. "Mind if I join you?" she asked, noticing a fourth paddle on the table. "Two against two?"

The boy shrugged and they began to play. Even with her left arm in a sling Emily managed to play decently.

"Point!" the boy beside her exclaimed.

"No way," one of the girls watched as the small plastic ball bounced off the end of the table. "That was out before you hit it," she told the young boy.

"It hit the table," the boy argued.

"But the white line is the boundary," the girl shot back. "Not just the table."

"James lets us play with any part of the table being inbounds," the boy defended.

"Seeing as how most of the white line is chewed away," Emily gently entered the argument. "Why don't we play that edge of the table rule?" she suggested, hoping to keep the peace at the green table. But across the room the peace was drastically disturbed when a girl shouted out and a small table was overturned, magazines splatting to the floor.

"I know you didn't just say that!" Lacey shouted at another girl. She backed the girl against the wall, trapping her there. "You don't get over losing someone, bitch," she growled at the girl who was easily two years younger than her. "You done never lost anything, little girl," Lacey snarled. "So don't go trying to spout your wisdom at me. I ain't having it!"

Emily rushed over. "Hey," she pulled Lacey away from the girl. "Why don't you calm down," she hoped to defuse the situation but Lacey fought against her. Emily pinned the teenager to the wall much the way she'd done to the younger girl. She pressed the side of her good arm against Lacey's chest. "You want to fight someone more your own size? Go ahead."

Lacey struggled for a moment but knew she'd been bested. Then she noticed an out and relaxed a little. "I ain't gonna touch you, lady. You like got your arm in some sling there. What happened, your rich white husband beat up on you?"

"I was shot," Emily replied with a weighty tone. "I took a bullet to protect a good friend of mine. We were attacked by Russian terrorists on a moving train."

"Sounds like some James Bond shit you made up," the girl chuckled.

"No, it was not some made up movie crap. I assure you, it was very real. I work for Interpol," Emily responded as she let the girl free from her grip. "Do you know what that is?"

Lacey licked her lips but shook her head, "Nope, never heard of it." She relaxed a little more and took a step away from Emily. "You like some spy or something?" she finally asked, showing a bit of interest. "You really protected a friend by getting shot?"

"Interpol is short for international police."

"So you a cop, then?"

"Basically," Emily nodded. "I'm in charge of running the London field office. We…" she trailed off, noticing they still had a large audience. "Come with me," she said to the girl, leading Lacey off to the office where she remembered meeting James for the first time. The space was small but there was a large Plexiglas window that looked out at the main room so she could keep an eye on the other kids. But it was somewhat more private so she could talk to Lacey.

"Look, lady… whoever you are," Lacey sighed, leaning against the back wall with her arms folded across her chest.

"Emily," she offered her name to the teenager.

"Ain't never seen you around here before," the girl scrutinized her a moment longer.

"I'm here with Derek Morgan," Emily offered. "Do you know him?"

Lacey nodded and relaxed a little more. "Yeah, sure I know Derek. Everyone 'round here know Derek. He like a legend in these parts, and not just because he FBI. He done exposed that Buford bastard, pardon my language. But more than that, Derek's like a real guy. He not all up on himself because of his fancy job. He come home and remembers to keep an eye on all us in his old neighborhood. He's a good guy."

"The best," Emily agreed.

"You his girl?" Lacey smiled softly. "Yo, I didn't mean to get at you. I'm sorry 'bout that rich white husband thing I said. Just that stupid little Heather girl out there. Yeah, she live here in the ghetto with the rest of us, but she ain't never lost no one close to her. She shouldn't be talking 'bout it if she don't understand."

Emily regarded Lacey with respect for the way she'd apologized. "I'm sorry about pushing you against the wall," she let the girl know. "And I'm sorry about you losing your friend. What was her name?" she carefully ventured.

The teenager was quiet for a long time but she finally said, "Justine. She and me, we grew up together. Was babies in the crib together 'cause our mama's was best friends. Justine was the smart one of us, you know? She was college bound and… shit don't make sense. Why her? Why do God always seem to want to take the good ones?" the girl lamented, kicking her heel against the wall. "Shoulda taken me. I ain't worth much."

"I'm sorry about Justine," Emily spoke softly, finding much of herself in the girl. "But I do know what you're going through. I've lost way too many friends lately."

"You said you protected your friend," Lacey pointed to Emily's shoulder.

"That friend I saved, yes." Emily paused a moment before she laid out the rest of the story for the girl. "But I had another friend that wasn't as lucky. She was a girl who fell into a bad crowd in college and ended up in a gang, of sorts," she did her best to make the story relatable to Lacey. "She was younger than me and I kept telling her she could get out, get away from that bad crowd. But she ended up being the one to help me and many others get away by giving up her life for us."

"Shit," was all that Lacey said.

"Look, I know it hurts right now. It will for a while," Emily went on. "But think about Justine for a moment. You think she'd want you to go around skipping school and getting into fights like you've been doing? Do you think that's a good way to honor your friend's life?" Even as she spoke the words she knew she'd been doing almost the same thing in regard to Laren.

Lacey shook her head. "No, she'd have let me have it good if she knew I was getting into trouble," the girl admitted. "She always kept at me, making sure I stayed in school when my own mama done give up on me. But I don't know how to honor Justine. I ain't getting into college. So what else is there?"

"I'm sure you'll figure something out, Lacey," Emily assured her.

James appeared in the doorway. "Heard there was a fight?" he aimed the question at Emily.

"I don't think it will happen again," Emily kept her gaze on Lacey and the girl nodded. "I believe you have some magazines to clean up out there," Emily added with a tone of dismissal. Lacey pushed away from the wall and moved toward the door. Emily stopped the girl with a gentle hand against her shoulder. "I don't have a cell phone right now, but if you ever want to talk again, just let James know. He'll figure out a way to contact me."

Lacey nodded and took off.

James arched his brows. "You sure everything is okay?"

"Yes," Emily sighed, her thoughts still on Laren and how best she could honor the young woman. She had a feeling keeping in touch with Lacey was a good start. "You know how to get ahold of Derek, right?" she watched him make an affirmative nod. "I'll pass along my new number when I get one. You feel free to give it to Lacey for me. If that's all right?"

"Sure thing," James replied. "Derek's still outside with the ball players but he said something about taking you shopping," the college student shrugged.

"Thank you," Emily patted James' shoulder and slipped out of the small office. She went outside and found Derek with his hands curled around the ball and giving instructions on how to throw a better spiral pass. She stood against the chain link fence and watched him for nearly twenty minutes before he even noticed her.

Morgan left the boys to their game and jogged toward her. "How long have you been standing out here?" he kissed her cold, rosy cheek.

"Long enough to see how much they appreciate a bit of your time," Emily smiled. "But I could use a few new pairs of pants, a couple shirts, maybe some shoes that actually fit me."

"Then let's be off," he agreed, presenting his arm for her. Derek was pleased when she looped her good arm through his and they moved down the slushy street again.

xxx

Emily entered Fran's place dressed in a new pair of black jeans, a super soft cashmere sweater in teal, and a pair of boots that fit comfortably – all purchased with her mother's credit card money. She was almost feeling herself again as Desiree began to introduce everyone. "You know Sarah, and that's her husband Nathan and their two boys. Shawn is three and Marcus is nearly eighteen months. And this," Desiree motioned over a tall man with midnight skin. "This is Kyle," she said.

"Nice to meet you," Kyle shook Emily's hand and then extended the same welcome to Derek.

Morgan eyed the man for a moment before he shook his hand. "Derek, Desi's big brother," he introduced himself.

"Give him a chance, please," Desiree whispered to her brother, having heard a somewhat abrupt tone to his words. "He's a good guy. I promise." She turned her friendly, welcoming attitude back to Emily. "I hope this isn't too much for you all at once. We can be a bit of a crowd in mama's small apartment these days."

With a shake of her head, Emily eased in to the situation. "I've met you, Sarah and your mother before. And Derek has shown me lots of family pictures. It's actually nice to be here with all of you," she swallowed, looking over to see Nathan and Sarah laughing with their kids. "My family gatherings are just me and my parents. Rather quiet."

Desiree's brows arched. "Well, we are not a quiet bunch," she chuckled. "Come on," the younger woman latched on to Emily and tugged her toward the kitchen door. "You've got one good arm, means you can help with the garlic bread. Mama says that if you don't help, you don't eat. That's been rule number one around the Morgan household for years. Isn't that right, Derek?" she called over her shoulder.

Morgan grinned. "So true," he called after them.

"You two set the table, and play nice!" Desiree warned as she and Emily left Kyle and Derek alone together.

Emily followed Desiree into the small but functional kitchen. Fran was at the center of things, watching over boiling pots and chopping up lettuce and carrots for a salad. Derek's mother took a second to greet her, wiping wet hands on her apron before kissing Emily's cheek and giving her a brief hug. "Good to have you here," Fran said as she pointed toward three large loaves of Italian bread on the counter. "Desi will slice them for you. But you can handle butter and garlic salt?"

"Not a problem," Emily nodded. She jumped in to the work with ease and enjoyed the company of Fran and Desiree who chatted animatedly about every possible subject.

The family meal went well that night. And three days later they were together again for Fran's birthday.

After that Emily wasn't sure how two weeks had passed so quickly. Her shoulder healed. And she and Derek had fallen in to an easy pattern of living in Chicago. After breakfast they'd go for a long walk. Usually they'd end up at the youth center like they had that first day. They'd eat lunch there with the kids who'd been kicked out of school or had ditched. Rounds of football, basketball, foosball and ping pong were played. Lacey would come in after school to join Emily in reading to the little kids and helping them with homework.

Some nights they'd end up at Fran's or Sarah's house and share a meal. Most nights they'd stay home and cook a frozen pizza or order in. A few times they'd dine out, as they were now on a chilly Saturday night, just four days until Christmas. Emily sat beside Derek at a small booth in a bustling pizza parlor. "Best thin crust pizza in Chicago," Derek promised.

"Isn't that sort of blasphemy in a city famous for its deep dish?" she asked.

"You can blame my dad for that," he chuckled. "He was always a little backward when it came to Chicago. He believed in rooting for the Cubs and the Sox and he loved thin crust pizza unconditionally. He always said thin crust was for the poor folks because we couldn't afford the extra dough," Derek smiled at the silly saying, easily recalling the way it had rolled off his father's tongue many times. "His eclectic tastes rubbed off on all of us, even mama who never watched baseball growing up."

She delighted in the way his face lit when he spoke of his father. Emily had never seen him so happy before when mentioning the man. She figured it must have something to do with the city and being around his family. Whatever it was, she was glad to play witness to it. "My family traditions began and ended with Church on Sundays and no sweets after six at night," she revealed. "My father didn't watch sports. And he was not a pizza eater." She sighed. "Sorry, didn't mean to ruin the moment."

He positioned his hand to cover hers atop the small table. "You can talk about anything you want with me, Em. I hope you know that."

Their pizza arrived, steamy and bubbling, for which Emily was thankful. She could tell he wanted her to open up even more but she wasn't ready.

They ate pepperoni, mushrooms and green peppers on what Emily readily agreed was the best thin crust she'd ever had. After their meal they walked back to Desi's place and settled on the sofa for a while, idly watching some documentary about monkeys. Derek curled up close to her. He pushed her dark hair back over one shoulder and kissed her neck softly. His lips moved slowly across her skin until they reached her lips. "Let's ditch the TV," he whispered.

Emily broke off the kiss before it could really be classified as one. She casually pushed him away. "This is a really interesting part," she pointed to the TV. "They've allowed this different species of monkey to join their group and they mostly tolerate him, but not entirely. And he chose to be with them rather than his own species."

Morgan grabbed the remote and turned the program off. He forgot about trying to kiss her and turned to look her in the eye. "You've seemed almost happy here the last few weeks."

"I have been," Emily agreed. "I really like your family and hanging out with the kids at the youth center has been great. Lacey told me yesterday how much she's enjoyed helping the little kids with me. I think she's actually considering community college and a teaching certificate. We'll just need to work on expelling ain't from her vocabulary first."

Derek remained facing her, holding her hands on his lap, serious face. "That's wonderful, Em. Really is. But I want to talk about you."

Emily shrugged. "About what?"

"About what happened to you in Russia," he decided not to sugar coat anything. "I want to know if Ziven's men did anything to you on that train before we showed up."

"Tied me up and kept me drugged," she immediately responded. "You know that."

Everything about her body language changed, stiff spine, lip biting, the way she wouldn't look him in the eye. "You were in a ratty dress, Emily," Morgan tried not to let his anger well up at the thought. "You had bruises on your legs and…" he tightened the grip on her hands. "I just want you to know that you can tell me, anything. If something happened that's affecting you not wanting to be intimate with me…"

"I don't know," Emily pulled away from him. She jumped to her feet, turning away to stare out the living room window. The sky was dark but the city sparkled with pin prick lights. Street lights, buildings aglow, headlights and taillights forming zigs and zags of red and white. "I don't know what happened. I was drugged most of the time and I…" her voice quaked. "The doctor in St. Petersburg didn't find any signs of tearing or anything else to indicate I was sexually assaulted," she shook her head.

Morgan got up and went to her. He placed his hands on her shoulders and rested his forehead against hers. "Whatever happened or didn't happen, it's been bothering you," he pointed out. "Not just the train stuff. Several signs of PTSD have surfaced since we left Russia. I'm not surprised," he sighed. "What you went through with Doyle, being away from all your friends and family for months, a sudden shift in job and then this Ziven ordeal. I just want you to know I'm here if you want to talk about it."

"Well, I don't," she dismissed his words and headed to the bedroom.

xxx

Emily sat on the sofa in Desiree's apartment on Christmas Eve. Alone.

For two and a half days she and Derek had gone back to their familiar routine - breakfast, youth center, and an evening meal together. They slept next to one another at night, Derek's arms draped across her waist, her head snuggled against his shoulder. But they didn't make love. And they barely kissed. Nor did they talk about Russia. Not the train or the explosions or Laren's death. He didn't bring it up again. But the distance between them was as clear as a sunny day.

A knock at the door caused her mind to break free from those thoughts for a moment.

But as she walked to the door, Emily recalled the way Derek had left an hour ago. "I'm going with Sarah, Desi and the kids to the ice rink across town," he'd told her. "We'd like you to go with us," his offer had been genuine.

And yet she'd steeled herself against his kindness. Pushed him out the door with the excuse of not feeling well - an obvious lie.

She opened the door and found Fran standing there with a plastic container. "I made you some soup," Derek's mother said before slipping inside without being offered entry. "Derek said you were staying in tonight. That you weren't feeling well. There's a bad cold going around. Is it that?" she didn't wait for a response as she shed her coat and moved toward Desi's kitchen. "I'm sorry to bother you, but I worry. It's what mom's do best."

Fran's ease around her caused Emily to break. She felt her tears fall without warning. And his mother's arms wrapped around her without words. No question was asked as to why she was crying. Fran just let her cry. After only a short time Fran sat Emily down on a kitchen chair. She brought her a box of tissue and then went about warming the soup. "I'm guessing you don't have a cold," the older woman said as she ladled soup in to two bowls and sat across from Emily.

"No," Emily agreed, sniffing back the last of her tears. "That obvious?"

"I have three children," Fran replied, stirring her soup. "Not a lot gets past me. And I know I'm Derek's mother and not yours, but I'm a good listener if you want to talk."

Minutes passed by and neither of them spoke a word. Only the sound of stainless spoons against ceramic bowls chimed throughout the apartment. "I'm not good at talking about feelings, especially my own," Emily finally confessed.

"Well you better learn, fast," Fran replied without hesitation. "Derek loves you. I've never actually seen him in love before. Sure, he's brought other girls and women around a few times, but I never saw in him what I see in him now. Love for you. Complete. He has a right to know what's going on in your head. That's the only way he'll be able to understand."

Emily let go of her spoon and let it rest against the inside of her bowl. "What if he doesn't understand?"

"At least you'll know the truth," his mother seemed quick with all of her answers.

"I'm scared of the truth," Emily let those words escape with a sigh. "I love him, Fran, more than I could ever say. He's gotten me to open up many times. But what he wants and what I want," she shrugged. "I fear they don't coincide. He wants marriage and probably kids, though we haven't ever broached that second subject. I don't think I can manage that sort of life. I like things the way they are, simple. I like to work, I like having a small place. I have a cat that doesn't demand much. I'm selfish," she revealed. "I like my own time."

A smile formed on Fran's lips. "Don't we all," she replied.

"Did you?" Emily asked.

"My dear, there were days when I wanted nothing more than to be left alone," Fran agreed. "Some days I'd go to work happily knowing that I wouldn't have to deal with my children for a good eight hours. That must sound awful, but even I needed a break at times. I love them dearly, though - all three of them so different and wonderful. I wouldn't change my life. I wouldn't trade being their mother or the precious few years I had with Shawn… not for anything."

She admired the older woman. How Fran had been able to grieve and move on. How she dealt with raising three children and working. How she seemed to not regret the way her life had played out. "That's not all of it," Emily's voice was softer than before. "Those are just the surface things. The truth is…"

Fran slid her hand across the table and patted Emily's. "You don't have to tell me. But you do have to tell him."

xxx

Christmas morning dawned, cold and rainy.

Everyone arrived early at Sarah's place to watch Shawn and Marcus open their presents. Emily sat on the carpeted floor beside Derek. His mother, Desi and Kyle were huddle together on the sofa. Nathan was down on the floor near the tree. He helped Shawn with the wrapping on the last present there was for the boy. Marcus toddled around the room, playing with wrapping paper and ribbons more so than the new stuffed animal farm he'd received for the holiday.

Sarah snapped a dozen photos as Shawn opened his gift to discover a desired train set. The little boy immediately enrolled his father in helping to put it together.

The rest of the room dispersed. Desi and Kyle went to the kitchen to start another pot of coffee. Fran excused herself to the restroom.

Emily pulled a package out from underneath the sofa. It was rectangular and rather flat, wrapped in bright blue paper with snowmen on it. "Merry Christmas," she said to Derek as the gift was passed off to him.

He smiled and eyed the package only a moment before he tore in to it with childlike enthusiasm. A board game stared back at him and he read the title. "Sorry."

She sat on her feet and faced him. "When I was at the mall the other day I had plans to buy you a Scrabble game. Funny thing, though. Your mom and both sisters told me that you don't like to play Scrabble," Emily left a bit of a question in the air.

"I…" Derek shrugged. "As a kid, no," he admitted. "I wasn't good at spelling. But I liked playing with you, Jo."

Her hands smoothed over the surface of the game she'd given him, touched by his sentiment. "It's not so much the game that's meant to be your present. It's the message," Emily revealed. "I'm sorry for the way I reacted the other day."

"No," Derek stopped her. He sat the game aside and took her hand. "I'm sorry if I pushed you too far." Morgan kissed her palm lovingly. "You went through hell in Russia and you know better than anyone the signs of PTSD. I'm not going to force you to talk about it, even though I think you should."

"I know I should talk about it, but I'm not ready," Emily confessed. "Can you respect that?"

Morgan was hesitant but nodded. "I'll try." He kept her close as he reached behind the end table and pulled a small wrapped gift free. "Merry Christmas," he presented it to her.

Emily carefully tore the paper off and spied a small wooden box. She pried it open on its hinge and stared down at the two Scrabble tiles that lay in the box on a green velvety surface. One letter G and the other letter H. "They look so much like the ones you saved from my flat, my grandfather's," she was touched beyond words.

"They _are_ your grandfather's," he assured.

Her eyes widened. "How? I thought I'd lost them."

"I got Tasha to help me track them down," Derek revealed. "She called up the hospital and turns out they discovered them in the jacket and held on to them. Tasha got them sent to her and then she mailed them here to me."

"Thank you," Emily closed the box and set it aside. She leaned in to kiss him, the first real kiss she'd allowed between them in many weeks.

They spent the rest of the morning and afternoon with his family and went back to Desi's place for the evening. Each of them ate far too many Christmas cookies and a heap of leftover turkey. Both fell asleep on the sofa by eight that night. Emily woke up first, a little disoriented, her body squished between Derek and the sofa cushions. She listened to him sleep, a soft snore emitting every few minutes, his chest rising and falling, warm and heavy against hers.

Emily kissed him in his sleep. Let her lips trail softly from his chin to the ridge of his brow and back down again. Her hands gripped the sides of his taut waist and then slipped beneath the thin material of his dark red t-shirt. They moved up his back and down again, inching toward the waistband of his navy boxer briefs. He moaned and shifted position a little. She froze for a moment, feeling bad for waking him. "Hey," he spoke in a hazy tone as he blinked his eyes open.

"Hi," Emily whispered as she captured his lips again. Her tongue let him know it was no lazy kiss she sought in return from him.

He responded in kind, drifting further from sleep as she wrapped her legs around his waist and tugged at his belt.

Their love making was heated, but sloppy and over far too quick - both of them still a little too sleepy for any sort of marathon.

Derek fell in to a deep slumber, his naked body crushed against hers once more. They stayed that way on the sofa, but Emily couldn't sleep. She lay awake for hours, her hand resting atop his chest. The gentle and steady thump-thump of his heart filled her with a rare sense of peace. "I love you," she whispered before carefully extracting herself from his embrace.

She fled the room, showered, dressed and packed in the wee hours of the morning. As she stood by the door, amber tendrils of morning light flickered and peeked their way through Desi's blinds. Emily watched as a particularly persistent beam caught Derek in the eye and caused him to stir. He awoke to see her poised at the door, jacket on, duffle bag over her shoulder. Emily had one hand on the door knob and the other gripping her two Scrabble tiles as if they'd provide her with the strength needed.

"Emily?" he sat up quickly, realizing just how naked he was. A lack of clothing didn't stop his worry from flaring. "What are you doing?" he threw on his pants but let them hang unbuttoned as he pulled the t-shirt over his head.

"Leaving," was the only word she could get out at the moment.

He met her at the door and could smell her clean hair, could see her determined brown eyes. "Hotch gave me time off until after New Year's. I thought we agreed to stay here until then. Our flight is booked for January second."

"I changed mine to today," Emily spoke slowly, as if she'd just learned the language. "I fly direct to London. I'm going back," her tone grew more courageous with each word.

"Okay," he was shocked by the suddenness of her decision, but vowed to be supportive. "Well, I can drive you to the airport. Just give me a minute to get dressed, properly," Derek was too disoriented for a moment to really comprehend the fact she was about to walk out on him without a word. But it dawned on him in short order and he suddenly didn't want to leave the room for fear she'd slip away while his back was turned. "Emily, I…" it pained him to face the truth. "Were you just going to leave without saying goodbye?"

She inhaled deeply and released it loudly. "Yes, but you don't understand why."

"Then help me out," his voice grew guarded. "I thought we were okay. We apologized, we made love last night."

Her eyes darted, knowing that looking him straight on would only make matters more difficult. "You think that a big chunk of my mood had been clouded by mourning Laren's loss. By grieving for her. But that's not true. At first it was. But mostly," Emily gulped, finally facing the truth as his mother had told her to do. "Mostly these last few weeks I've been mourning your loss," she revealed.

His arms hung limply at his side as his eyes searched hers. "You're right, I don't understand. What do you mean? I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

"I told Ziven I didn't love you," Emily bit her lip.

"I know why you did that," Derek took a step toward her. "And I knew you didn't mean it."

"But I still said it," Emily replied. "I said it to protect you. I'd do anything to keep you safe. But I thought you were going to die that day, Derek. When Ziven's men let go of you I had no idea Petrov was that close. I tried to reach for you, but I nearly got you killed and that's what is tearing me up inside. What if Fran and your sisters lost you? They need you, Derek. And if you stay with me your life will continually be at risk, because I'm a disaster magnet. Doyle, Ziven… I've already gotten way too many friends killed."

"That's not your fault," he protested. His heart broke to think that was what she'd been holding back. "Doyle and Ziven killed your friends. Not you, Emily. You're a good person who…"

"This isn't about guilt, Derek," she interrupted him. "This is about protecting you, you and your family. Your mother and your sisters love you so much. And I've come to love them these last few weeks. If anything happened to you because of me I don't think I could ever look them in the eye and tell them how sorry I was. If we stay together you'll continue to worry about me and my job. You'd come after me again should the need arise. And I can't allow you to do that."

"You have no say in it, Emily," his voice rose, growing angry. "If I want to risk my life for you then I damn well will."

"But I don't want you to," she relayed as calmly as possible though she was shaking inside. "I'm going home, to London. I won't let what happened with Ziven scare me away from the job. It's an important job and I want to keep at it."

"That's good. I'm glad you want to go back to work. I really am," Derek insisted, "But what about life away from the job? What about us?"

"You'll move on," she nearly choked on the words. "And I'll be fine, same as I always am," Emily did her best to believe the lies she was telling herself. "Sergio and I will find a new flat to call home. He'll go visit Tasha and Elya when I'm away for work. He and I will enjoy Friday night Chinese, fancy feast and bad B movies together."

An unsettling combination of rage and disappointment swirled in his belly. She'd said those words to him before, about him moving on. He truly thought they'd gotten past that after weeks spent rekindling their friendship and love. Derek was so upset with her for choosing to run away again. He wanted to punch the wall. He wanted to scream and promise her anything she desired. But he knew none of it would budge her. "Don't throw away what we have," he used only his most sincere words. "Please, Jo."

With her lips barely parted and her fingers clasped around the Scrabble letters in her right hand, she spoke her final verdict on the matter.

"I can be apart from you, as long as I know you're safe." With a last summons of artificial courage she expelled the whisper, "Goodbye."

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	49. Yesterday

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

**Thank you very much for your comments. I know it may not seem like it, but they do inspire me to write faster! Hope you enjoy this part.**

* * *

><p><strong>Yesterday<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>"Wife wouldn't tell us much," Morgan said upon entered the Denali park ranger headquarters with JJ at his side.<p>

"Hotch and Rossi back yet?" she asked.

They were north of Anchorage, Alaska at one of the country's largest wilderness parks. Local police had called them in two days ago to help find an UnSub responsible for killing five people, a random mix of men and women. Three of them had been locals, and a visiting couple. The only pattern was their UnSub's instability. Twelve hours ago they'd identified their man as Randy Malcolm, an ex-con and part-time drifter who'd grown up locally.

Reid looked up from the map he'd been studying and shook his head. "After they spoke to the brother, and got nowhere, they decided to talk to Malcolm's ex-wife and his two sons."

"Boys are teenagers, fourteen and seventeen," a male park ranger they'd been working with, Dale, added.

"Hotch thinks Malcolm might have confided in them about his body dump site," Spencer concluded.

"You really think he'd tell his teenage sons?" JJ questioned with a grimace. All her years with the BAU and she was still amazed at some of the despicable things people were capable of.

Morgan thought on it. "Maybe only inadvertently," he responded, leaning against one of the desks in the small ranger building. "We profiled that the guy likes to brag. He talked to almost everyone he knew in prison about the homes he robed. He probably told the boys something like… maybe his favorite hideout or best place in the woods to hunt. Anything like that could help us." Derek stood up straighter when the sheriff approached with a young woman at his side. "Did you find anything at the lake cabin?"

Sheriff Booker shook his silvery-blue head of hair. "No. That's the trouble. We know he normally keeps a four-wheel drive at the cabin but it's gone. And the place was messy, looks like it was rushed through. My guess is he probably tossed supplies in a bag and took off. We think he's headed further into the woods."

"In the middle of February?" JJ frowned.

"It's barely gotten above seventeen Fahrenheit since we arrived," Reid added his incredulity.

"Folks around here grow up in these conditions," the sheriff replied with a shrug. "This is Anita," he finally introduced the woman with him. "She's one of the best pilots in the area and she knows the Denali Park terrain better than most."

Anita smiled shyly. "I run a tourist flight company, but help out when there's a search and rescue."

"I've asked her to take her plane up, have a look around," Booker said. "Bird's eye view could be just what we need to catch this SOB."

"I'd like to go with you," Morgan pushed away from the desk and aimed his words directly at Anita. "Two sets of eyes are better than one."

She looked to the sheriff and watched him give the go ahead with a shrug. "Sure," the pilot agreed. "Flight strip is only about forty yards south, just past the ranger station. You can't miss it. I have to run a quick pre-flight check and fuel up. I'll meet you there in twenty," Anita said before marching toward the door.

Morgan grabbed one of the supply backpacks the ranger's had on hand. He was going through the contents when JJ lightly put a hand to his forearm. "Maybe you should hold off on this until Hotch gets back," she suggested. "He and Rossi might have gotten a decent lead from Malcolm's ex and the kids."

Spencer stayed close to his map as he listened to JJ's reasoning. He understood what she was trying to do and attempted to add to the effort. "I've been monitoring the weather closely and it's due to change soon," he announced. "A big storm is headed in - high wind gusts. I doubt Anita will be able to search long before turning back. It makes more sense to wait."

"So we sit on our hands until this guy's got enough lead that we never find him?" Morgan's jaw tightened. "I know what you're trying to do, kid," Derek spoke to Reid first as he slung the pack over his right shoulder. "Both of you," he eyed JJ as well. "You think Emily calling it quits has got me putting my life on the line more often lately, but this is the job. This bastard has killed five people so far. I'm not about to let him get away so he can go do it somewhere else again."

Without much thought, Reid blurted out the thing they'd all been wishing to say, "She was just being honest, Derek." None of them had been able to get him to open up about Emily in over six weeks' time. At least nothing more than one outburst of resentment, and even that had been fairly mellow.

Derek stared down his friend in warning. "Don't, Reid."

"She truly believes you'll be safer without her in your life," Spencer daringly continued. "Sometimes honesty is the hardest road to walk, especially when you know it's not what the person you love wants to hear. I'd say that speaks more to her love for you than anything could."

A frustrated sigh escaped Morgan's lips. He wasn't amused about being ambushed, especially on a case and by a good friend. "So she's only pushing me away because she loves me?" it was the first time he'd actually dared to comment about it with his friends.

"I believe so," Reid nodded. He looked to JJ for some sort of support but she could only shrug, clearly not knowing how to help the situation.

The room fell quiet for several seconds. Even the sheriff and Dale the ranger weren't sure what to make of the conversation. Finally, Derek grabbed the heavy winter jacket he'd brought along for the case. Without a word he headed toward the door, making it clear he was joining up with Anita and taking that flight. JJ sighed as she watched him go. "You know what the funny thing is," she turned to Reid. "He and Emily are so much alike. Both of them too stubborn for their own good."

The resident BAU genius nodded his agreement. "They keep things bottled up."

"And we all know what happens when things are bottled up too tightly," JJ used both her hands to demonstrate her point. Closed fists suddenly opened and fingers radiated outward in a flourished manner, "Physics magic," she grinned. "Things explode, and conk you on the head."

xxx

**I'm so angry with you right now. I want to yell at you.**

**What I wrote the other day, I'm sorry. I just miss you. I wish you'd answer my calls. Or at least text me. Remember our texts?**

**Still no reply from you. Two and a half weeks and nothing. Not sure if I should be angry again or not.**

**You're good at the silent treatment. Why am I not surprised? Might be nice to at least let me know you're alive.**

**Sorry about that last text. That was kind of throwing your reasoning back at you. I guess. I'm not mad, Emily. I'm really not.**

**Three days ago I texted you that I wasn't mad, but I'm not so sure. I go back and forth on that issue. Some days I'm close to mad. Some days I'm not.**

**I won't keep doing this, okay? Five weeks. I get that you're not backing down. I'll respect that. I love you, Jo.**

There'd been no further texts for seven days and Emily missed them, yet she realized how ridiculous and selfish that thinking was. She sat on the hardwood floor in Tasha's flat with Sergio slowly warming up to her. The case she'd just been away on only lasted three days but her feline pal still seemed upset at her for leaving. "Join the club, buddy," she spoke softly to the edgy cat. "It's called: The Males In My Life Who Are Upset At Me For Leaving Them Club. You and Derek could have some sort of secret handshake."

"What?" Elya asked as she looked sideways at Emily.

"Nothing," Emily shook her head and watched as Tasha's young daughter leapt around the living room, her hair flying behind her. "I hope Serge wasn't too much trouble."

"Not at all," the girl happily replied. She held a piece of red and blue cloth in one hand and snuck up behind an unsuspecting cat. "Caught you," the child giggled as she loosely tied the fabric around Sergio's neck. She scooped him up and sat on the floor beside Emily. "He wears a cape because he's a super spy cat!" Elya exclaimed.

Emily smiled and noticed that her feline friend did not seem at all perturbed by the cape around his neck. He nuzzled against Elya's leg. "How did you know he's a spy cat?" Emily asked as she reached over to tickle Elya's waist. Getting re-acquainted with Tasha and Sophie had been great. And getting to know Elya was a lot of fun. The little girl was smart and spunky, very much like Tasha. "That's top secret information," Emily tickled the girl a second time.

Elya giggled and squirmed away. "Because of his camera tag," she replied through bouts of laughter. "I was home sick when Derek brought Sergio over and told mama about the camera." The girl smiled. "Derek was very nice. He said Sergio was my responsibility while he and mama were gone. Sometimes I wish I had a nice daddy. My daddy doesn't want to see me," Elya revealed. "I think one day mama will let me have my own cat," she said in her next breath, easily transitioning between the sad and hopeful topics.

"Perhaps," Tasha spoke as she entered the room with two mugs of tea. "We will see," she added, handing over one mug to Emily. Tasha plopped herself on the floor beside Elya. The mother petted her daughter almost as if she was a cat as well. "Derek called me two days ago," Tasha revealed to Emily as the three of them sat on the floor with their backs against the sofa, almost like a slumber party. "I did not tell you, but he was very worried about you. He just wants to talk to you. He says you will not reply, not even to a text message."

Taking a small sip from her tea helped Emily avoid the topic.

Tasha took the hint. "Do you ever think about it?" she asked. "Having children?"

It was hard for Emily to decide which topic she liked least. "I used to," she gave in, smiling as Elya continued to play with Sergio. "I'm past it now."

"Really?" the corners of Tasha's mouth turned downward, doubtful. "Watching you sit here with Elya, I do not see you being past it. And I know you visit often with little Nara."

A shrug raised Emily's shoulders. "I've spent a couple hours with Nara on a few weekend trips north. A person could love any baby for two hours at a time."

"But you could also love a child for the rest of your life, my friend," Tasha insisted. "And I have a feeling that Derek could love one as well, especially your child."

With a sigh Emily tried not to think about Morgan. But that was kind of like trying not to get wet while taking a shower. Just the mention of his name caused memories to storm her mind, the texts they'd exchanged early on in their courtship, his first visit to London, fighting for their lives in Russia, and of course their recent time in Chicago. "I can't believe you're still such a hopeless romantic, Natasha. But please don't tell him anything if he calls again," Emily requested. "At the very least tell him I've been busy. Or tell him…"

"I will not," Tasha smiled as she watched her daughter tease Sergio with one end of the makeshift cape. She looked to her company again. "You are a good friend, Emily. You saved my life on that train and I will always be thankful for that. I will always feel indebted to your family for what your mother did to free us from Russia. But I like Derek very much and I have come to respect him. He's a wonderful man, and I don't like the idea of lying for you. I will not."

"Mama says lying isn't right," Elya joined in.

"She's a smart lady," Emily conceded. "She's right. Lying is bad. So maybe you could just…" she shrugged. "Not pick up the phone when he calls?"

Tasha frowned again, marring her pretty face. "I do not approve, of any of it. You love Derek. Stop being so foolish," the woman chided. "Love does not come around very often, usually only once. If you are lucky, maybe twice," she wore a soft smile.

Emily read more in to her friend's words, and the smile seemed an obvious giveaway. "Tasha, is there a new special someone in your life?"

"You are not turning this conversation around on me," Tasha wagged a finger at Emily.

"Ah, avoiding the question," Emily observed. "And you look a little flushed - pupils are larger, evasion in your tone…" The abrupt jingle of Emily's cell phone halted their one-sided conversation. She glanced at the screen and bit her lip when she saw Penelope's smiling face staring back at her.

"Oh, for goodness sake," Tasha said as she eyed the phone as well. "Are you not going to speak to any of your old friends, ever?"

Realizing Tasha was right, Emily handed her tea mug to her friend and punched the accept button. "Hey, Garcia."

She fully expected the FBI tech to launch off into a long rambling speech about why she was being stupid about not speaking to Derek. She'd already received several such messages from the woman. Instead, Emily paled as she listened to Penelope's words. She hung up without saying anything. Emily stood and found herself disoriented for a moment. "Tasha, I need to…" she stopped and focused on the cat and Elya. "Can Sergio stay here for a while longer?"

"Yes!" the girl answered, not waiting for her mother.

Tasha was too preoccupied with Emily to care. She got to her feet and went to her friend's side. "You look as if you've seen a ghost. Or spoken to one?"

"I have to go to Alaska," Emily responded. "Derek's been in an accident."

xxx

His head pounded.

"So much for that plan of yours to keep me safe, Emily," Derek groaned as he tried to make sense of what had happened.

It was actually very simple. The small Cessna had crumpled around him. To his left, Anita the pilot was hunched over the darkened controls. Derek carefully reached across and felt her neck, hoping for a pulse. He found none. He was certain her unmoving form was dead. Morgan closed his eyes for a moment and could smell the sharpness of fuel and the mustiness of rain and a damp forest. He tried to move but most of the circulation in his legs was being pinched off by the safety belt across his lap.

Derek reached for the buckle. It took several attempts to finally bust it free from the hold. He gingerly pushed the belt aside and felt the bruises where it had dug into his flesh.

"You're alive," he breathed out shakily, trying to concentrate on that fact alone as he began the process of extracting himself from the broken shell of a plane.

The wind was strong, blowing in violent puffs. Just as Reid had said. One of those gusts had thrown them off course and downward.

Raindrops pelted through the broken front window. They dripped softly against his legs, which were covered in glass shards. He noticed that one rather large shard was embedded in his thigh. Morgan managed to brush most of the small pieces of glass away. But he was worried that removing the large piece would do more damage than good. His focus moved to the door. He pushed at it, but it wouldn't budge. With circulation somewhat restored, he used his good leg to kick against the unyielding door.

After three swift kicks it popped open and swung lazily on bent hinges.

Morgan was thankful they hadn't landed higher up in the tree canopy. He was glad for solid ground when his feet met it. But he swayed unsteadily for a moment.

He took the risk of removing the glass shard from his leg and used his belt as a tourniquet.

With a limp to favor his injury, he worked his way to Anita's side of the plane. Derek yanked the door open and regarded her for a moment. "I'm so sorry," he whispered, allowing himself a moment to grieve her death. He proceeded to pull her free of the wreckage and laid her out on the ground a few feet away. In just the hour and a half hour that they'd been in the sky, Derek had learned she had four older brothers, loved to fish and had recently gotten engaged to the park ranger, Dale, who they'd been working with.

"Death, you are one fickle bastard," he lamented, thoughts of Emily and her fears of losing him once more infiltrating his head.

Upon returning to the crashed plane Morgan fiddled with the radio. He spent a good half hour or more trying to get it to work, but it was useless. None of the electrical components on the aircraft were functioning. With that hope dashed and the sun inching past the mid-day mark, Derek knew he needed to prepare for a wait. Being on the move wasn't likely to help; it would just get him lost. Search teams would be looking near their last known coordinates so he decided to stay put.

In the back of the plane he found a few useful items. A jug of water, some Army MREs and a few reflective emergency blankets.

"Better than I could've hoped for," Derek said, thinking that talking out loud might somehow keep him conscience longer than he imagined favorable. The pain and pounding in his head had not let up and every step he took was a chore. It wasn't hard to figure out he had a pretty decent concussion.

xxx

Emily wore the warmest down jacket she'd been able to find at the Anchorage outfitters shop. She had hiking boots that fit her well and a pack with food, water and every other small essential survival item that she'd been able to snatch up in short order. They were all the things they hadn't had in Russia. And for some reason Emily held on to the hope that they'd make the difference between finding Derek alive rather than dead. But her first hurdle was the team.

She approached the base camp, which was bustling with rangers, police officers, search dogs and volunteers.

Hotch wore a sympathetic look as she approached. "I told Garcia not to…"

"This isn't Garcia's fault," Emily cut him off. "Did you really think I'd stay away?" She watched his head shake grimly. Part of her wished he'd smile reassuringly and nod over his shoulder. There would appear Derek, revealing himself to be alive and perfectly fine – revealing that all of this had been an elaborate plan to spook her and get her to come running. But she'd played witness to the seriousness behind Hotch's eyes enough times to know that wasn't the case.

"He's been out there for nearly twenty-four hours," Hotch revealed - not sure how many details she knew. "The storm has finally cleared enough to send people out to search, but locals believe it will be a recovery effort at most."

Her bottom lip was chewed for a moment. "Reid go over the odds?" she asked.

He almost smiled. "I really can't let you go out there," Hotch said. "You know you're too close to this, personally."

"Screw that," Emily was beyond determined, guilt simultaneously eating at her and spurring her forward. "You know I don't care about odds or what the search and rescue experts think. And all due respect to you, Hotch, but you're not my boss anymore. You can't order me. I'm going out there to help find him."

His words had been more show than anything. He knew there'd be no stopping her. "You can join Bravo team," he waved a hand to his right where JJ, Rossi and four local rescue workers were strapping on backpacks and cinching down rain gear. "Reid and I will be with Alpha team. We head out in ten," he concluded.

With a brief thankful nod, Emily joined her team.

JJ didn't say a word, just hugged her. Rossi flashed a smile her way but was all business as their team leader, a man they called Johansen, headed them west into the forested park. For nearly an hour the seven member team spoke very little aside from the leader calling out slight directional changes.

"So," Emily breathed out with each right step. She breathed in with every left step. "What were Reid's odds?" she asked, positioning her way between JJ and Rossi.

"Not good," JJ replied.

Rossi nodded. "But we all know Reid has a bit of pessimist running through his veins," the older profiler added.

Emily was thankful of Rossi's attempt to lighten the mood. But her focused shifted fully to JJ. Aside from the initial hug she'd received, Emily couldn't help think her dear friend was ignoring her. "Something wrong?" she finally asked.

"Trail is muddy and steep," JJ responded. "We should concentrate on that."

Those words pretty much confirmed Emily's earlier thoughts. "Do you think I was wrong to leave Derek?" she decided to dive right in. "I'm not like you, JJ. I honestly don't know how you and Will make it work. That scare at the bank last spring, and he's still on the force…"

"Love makes it work," JJ finally turned to eye her friend. "It's not easy. Not at all," she admitted. "But the alternative is spending the rest of your life alone. Not to mention making the man you love feel like he's done something wrong," JJ's tone grew a little angry. "Do you even know what Derek's been feeling lately? Probably not, because you don't even bother to pick up your phone," more than a hint of accusation was flung forth with those words.

Emily took them. She let them prick her skin, let them make her feel truly alive since she'd left Derek open-mouthed and in shock in Chicago. "You think I _want_ to hurt him?"

"I doubt it," JJ softened some, feeling bad for her earlier unkindness. "But he is hurting, Emily. More than I've ever known him to hurt," she revealed. "He's been taking a heck of a lot of unnecessary risks lately, including volunteering for this… going up in that plane knowing a storm was on the way," she sighed. "Since you left the BAU he's been my partner, Emily. My responsibility, my job to cover his back, my fault if something goes wrong," her head shook.

They walked for another two hours with those words between them.

The wind kicked up and the sun began to slip faster toward the horizon. "We've got nothing this way," Johansen said as he halted the group. "We need to head back to base camp and sit tight for the night."

"No way," Emily remained rooted to her spot as the others turned around. "Two and a half hours and that's it? We just head back?"

"It'll be dark soon and I'm responsible for this team's safety," the man explained. "We can start again in the morning."

"Or," Emily unclipped her sternum strap and reached for the waist clip. "We can set camp here and move in another two and half hours tomorrow and two and a half more the day after that until we find Derek and that pilot and bring them home."

Johansen looked to Rossi for a moment, hoping he might be able to control the irascible woman. "Look, staying here is dangerous. Yes, we have tents and food, but the ground is moist and the temperature could drop considerably without warning."

"Then you should get back to the warmth of the base camp," Emily snapped. "Just leave me a tent and I'll stay."

Rossi finally stepped in. "I'll stay with her."

"Sir, I can't just…"

"Are you married?" Rossi asked the man.

"Yes," Johansen nodded. "For ten years."

"Happily?"

The leader nodded again. "Very," he smiled.

"And if it was your wife out here that we were searching for," Rossi ventured. "Would you be turning back to the base camp right now?"

"No, sir, I'd probably keep searching all night," Johansen sighed in resignation. "Okay, two of us will stay with the two of you. The other three will head back tonight," he decided.

JJ somewhat reluctantly agreed to return with the others so Rossi could stay with Emily.

Team Bravo decided to walk another hour and a half west before setting up camp. But even the extra search time yielded nothing. The woods were quiet, slumbered down for the remainder of winter. Two tents went up quickly and some water was boiled to have a hot drink with their Army ration meal. Rossi found Emily leaned against a thick pine tree shortly after dinner. The sun was just a hazy glow through the thick trees, nearly sunk beneath the horizon.

"You should get some rest," he suggested, coming to lean against the same tree.

She chuckled dismally. "How likely do you suppose that will be?"

"We should at least try," he agreed with her assessment. They stood there for a while, long after the last tendril of sunlight had been snuffed out by night. "For what it's worth, I know what it's like to feel helpless," he spoke again. Rossi took her silence as a sign to continue. "I think you know I loved Caroline, more than a lot. She was my first love. Maybe the only true love I've ever had. Lord knows those two other marriages were… well, ill advised. To say the least," he grinned.

Only a small slice of moonlight hung overhead as he spoke. "Our love produced a child," Dave revealed. Inky darkness had already swept the forest but Rossi heard her head turn to face him. He hadn't told anyone on the team about his lost son, not even Hotch. "When she went into labor I was giddy and nervous as hell. Certainly more toward the excited side, though," he took a deep breath. "When the doctor said there were complications, I… that was the most helpless I've ever felt in my life."

He gathered his courage to continue. "It was a boy. Born and died on the very same day," Dave revealed in a voice barely louder than a whisper. "Caroline wasn't able to have more children. She didn't deal with that well and it broke up our marriage. We were young. I thought someday she'd come around. And she did, in a way. But now she's gone again, for good this time." He sighed regretfully. "No one has the power to keep their loved ones safe from harm. No one. Except maybe God. Maybe."

"So you think I'm being foolish?" Emily dared to ask.

He sighed. "Everyone in love is a fool," Rossi concluded before heading to the tent.

She stood against the tree for a while longer, watching as stars slowly revealed their distant light. For a moment she thought it might be enough light to make her way through the woods - enough brightness to help her find Derek. Because as much as she'd wished to push him away, all she wanted at the moment was to find him. With reluctant feet and tired eyes, Emily transported herself only as far as the tent. She glanced once more at the stars above the tree canopy.

"If you do have that power…" Emily shrugged before ducking inside her tent.

xxx

"Wake up, Derek."

He blinked his eyes open. At least he thought they were open, but it seemed far too dark. Very slowly his sight adjusted to the nighttime of the woods. The crash and aftermath came back to him. He remembered Anita's death and the radio's demise as well. After that he'd sat down to have a drink of water. Nothing came to mind after that, until he'd heard his father's voices telling him to wake up. "I must've been dreaming," he said aloud.

The tree at his back was somewhat comfy, covered in thick spongy moss. The ground beneath his butt was cold and damp. He had his jacket zipped tight and a blanket about him.

But the pain in his head was more cause for worry than the temperature.

"You shouldn't sleep for very long with a head wound such as yours."

Morgan looked up and figured he was still asleep as he watched the figure of his father walking toward him. A tall man with ebony skin, bit of a belly, and dark eyes that Derek recalled often being stern, but always loving. "Pop?" he asked, slightly uncertain if he was dreaming or awake as the man approached.

Shawn Morgan smiled and sat down across from his son. "Parents look out for their children. Always, son."

"I don't understand," Derek held a hand to the side of his head, willing it to stop pounding. He'd found some Ibuprofen in the aircraft's survival gear pack, but the minor effects were wearing off. "You're not real, right? You're a… a ghost?"

"Maybe," the vision of his father shrugged. "I can't say with any certainty. As to why I'm here now… you needed me."

Anger welled in Derek's stomach. "I've needed you before. So many times. I…" he broke off, unable to convey how upset he was.

"I've been with you before," Shawn assured him. "I often am."

Silence fell between them for a short time but Derek smiled as he digested his father's words, beginning to understand. "You're always with me. Aren't you?"

"Smart boy," Shawn smiled proudly. "You'll get through this if you want to," Shawn said. "If you don't give up on yourself or Emily."

"Emily?" Derek was surprised to hear her name on his father's ethereal tongue. "How do you know about Emily? How do I know that anything you're saying is true?"

"You have to have faith, son," the elder replied.

Morgan regarded the vision of his father with longing and respect. The man had his fingers pressed together in prayer the way Derek had seen him many times during his childhood. He often wondered how his father could have so much faith in God when society had continuously thrown him challenges for the color of his skin. Truth was Derek wished his faith could be a strong as his fathers had been. He had since the day his dad had died, the same day his faith had begun to waver.

"And you need to have courage when dealing with a woman like Emily Prentiss," he grinned. "Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear."

"Yeah, I know. Mark Twain. You've told me that one many times, pop," Derek felt like a little kid again. "But how can I not be afraid that Emily will never come around? She said she could be apart from me as long as I was safe. But I don't want to live without her in my life. I don't want to be apart from her. At the same time, I don't want to pressure her. I don't want to force her to live every day in fear of losing me. I know what that feels like. I was so afraid of losing her after she was taken from London."

"You know what it's like to lose her," his father pointed out. "At least you thought you'd lost her. That was a unique experience most don't have. Usually death is the end. Or so people think. But I happen to know your mother still wears her wedding ring, after all these years."

Derek nodded. He'd almost asked her once why she still wore it. But he knew the answer. "It's not true," he spoke softly to the image of his father. "What Reid and JJ think; that I'm holding it all inside. I texted her. Emily. That's how this whole thing started, you know? And now, I've tried to reach out. She just won't respond."

"What's the one thing you want more than anything, son? What weighs on you more than thoughts of losing her?"

"Being with her," Derek's answer was swift and sincere. "I want to be with her."

Shawn smiled knowingly. "Then find a way to make it happen. If texting isn't the answer, find another one."

Morgan blinked once and his father was gone. He couldn't be sure he'd ever been there. His head still hurt, but slightly less. He felt tired more than anything. "First I need to find a way out of here," he spoke to the forest as he struggled to stand. The ground swayed as he stood with both hands against the sturdy tree trunk for support. "I need to…" his vision blurred and he barely had time to brace his fall before the world faded from view again.

xxx

"Pretty sure I solved the mystery of why your last two marriages ended," Emily announced as they broke camp. She pulled the last tent pole free and watched as the object deflated and collapsed without support. Day two of their search had started at the crack of dawn upon Emily's insistence.

"Excuse me," Rossi raised his brows before sucking down a gulp of instant coffee that made him grimace.

"You snore," she clarified. "Derek snores, too, but it's a cute snore. You on the other hand… sounded like someone was outside sawing down one of the trees last night."

Rossi chuckled, "I think that did come up in one of the divorce proceedings," he replied before knocking back the last of his coffee. He didn't mind the dig, knowing it was actually a good sign for her to be joking. He watched as she folded the tent efficiently. Then zipped her pack, threw it over her shoulders and bounced on her feet anxiously. "Doubt I woke you, though," he commented, knowing she hadn't touched the vile coffee. "Did you manage to get _any_ sleep last night?"

She had closed her eyes and rested for all of about a half hour in the tent. The other five hours had been spent listening to Rossi snore. But she knew she didn't need to tell her friend that. He already knew. They set off together, marching up front with Johansen. Emily was there beside their search leader when the crackle of static became a voice over his two way radio. "This is Alpha team. We've got him. Over." a male voice announced.

"Derek?" Emily halted abruptly and looked to Johansen for answers.

"Bravo team here," the search leader responded. "Please clarify. You've found the aircraft crash site? Over."

"Negative," the man responded. "It's Randy Malcolm. His four-wheel drive overturned and flipped into a ravine. He's dead. Over."

Emily relaxed a little as the radio went quiet and the sun peeked out from behind a large mass of gray clouds. She glanced at her small compass and then looked to the sky again. The sun was to their left, slightly north from where they were headed. She positioned herself that direction and continued forward without a word to the others. Rossi caught up to her. "No offence to your sense of direction," he said at her side. "But we just came from that way."

"And we were close," she dismissed his concern.

Rossi and the team leader indulged her for a half hour. But an ominous cloud cover rolled in, dense and rain-filled. The storm broke into a downpour within seconds.

"Okay, I've humored you long enough. It's time to turn back," Johansen directed his words to Emily.

She paused long enough to draw her hood up and cinched it close to her scalp. But she continued north-west.

"It might be nice if she at least pretended to listen to us," the leader sighed.

Dave refrained from comment as they continued after her.

Only a few minutes into their rain storm hike Emily spotted something through the trees. "Over here!" she shouted above the sound of the steady rain. Her boots sloshed through the muddy and moss covered terrain. The small object she'd seen in the distance bloomed into the crumpled steel form of a blue and white Cessna. Front end was blunted by the giant spruce in had hit. The rear was fully intact. "Tail number is MJ212," she didn't allow her hope to swell, kept it dangled like a carrot just out of reach. Emily knew what they might find.

Sure enough they approached a figure lying on the ground as they neared the crash site. It was covered in a metallic safety blanket.

Rossi took the lead, squatted beside the form and flipped one corner of the blanket upward.

"Anita," Johansen identified with a note of regret. "She was a friend."

"I'm sorry," Dave's hand was placed against the man's shoulder.

"Derek?" Emily was the first one to spot him, slumped a few yards off to the left. She rushed over to the hulking pine tree where he was partially propped, his head lolling to one side, eyes closed. Another shimmery silver blanket was wrapped around him, pulled up to his chin. She went to her knees in front of him and pressed fingers against his neck for a pulse. Her heart beat a little swifter when she found one. "He's alive," she called over her shoulder.

"This is search team Bravo to home base," Johansen immediately jumped on his radio. "We've reached the crash site. The pilot, Anita, is lost," he relayed. "But agent Morgan is still alive. We require immediate medical assistance and extraction from..."

Emily listened as the man relayed their position, but she was far more interested in Derek's eyes opening. "Hey there," she whispered, doing her best to shield him from the rain, though it was thankfully letting up already. "Hang on for me, okay," she encouraged, recalling that he'd said the same thing to her twice before, once in a warehouse in Boston and again after she'd been shot in Russia. "We're going to get you out of here."

"Yeah?" he drowsily replied.

Her head gave a confident nod. "All this tramping around in the Russian woods and now Alaska, we'll be in great shape," she tried to joke.

"I saw my dad…" he whispered to her in a serious tone. "He wasn't really here and I know you're not either… I wish you were here so I could tell you that you're wrong, Emily."

His level of confusion and the large gash on the side of his head left Emily hoping for the medical team to reach them soon. "You're going to be fine."

"It's not your job to keep me safe," he continued. "But you do, just by being you. Your love makes me feel secure in a way I've never felt before. And I have faith in it. I have faith in you, Emily. I would tell you that, if you were here…" Morgan managed a weak smile just before he passed out again.

xxx

Derek opened his eyes to find florescent lighting rather than pine trees.

"You're in a hospital in Anchorage," Emily informed him as she sat on the edge of his bed. She'd been there for hours. "You were in a plane that went down in the woods." She reached out to him, allowed the pad of her thumb to gently run along his chin. The two days' worth of stubble prickled lightly against her skin. "You took a pretty nasty bump to the head but it's only a mild concussion. Doctor says you'll live," she practically choked on the last word. "Guess you're hard headed."

He grasped her wrist lightly, not allowing her to pull away. "I think you've got me confused with yourself," he grinned, feeling more than a little unsteady from whatever meds they had him on. "I've missed you. Are you really here?" Derek gently kissed her wrist, hoping she wasn't a figment like his father had been.

"I'm really here, but…" Emily stood as he let go of her wrist. "I have a flight to catch. I need to get back to London. I sort of left without much warning. The last time I did that they forgave me since I was abducted. This time," she sighed. "I didn't want to leave before you woke up. Didn't want you to accuse me of running off without saying…" the word goodbye got stuck in her throat. "This cycle isn't good for us. I keep putting you in danger."

"How can you say that when you came all the way here and wouldn't back down until you found me?" he asked.

She blinked. "How do you know that?"

"I know you. I know I was in a crash and the weather was horrible and everyone probably thought I was dead," Derek guessed. "But I knew you'd fight to find me even if I was, because I'd do the same for you," he declared as she remained quiet.

"But you might not have been on that plane if not for me," she responded. "JJ told me you've been taking more risks since I…"

"Damn it, Emily. Why are you so stubborn?" he stopped her from continuing her self-pity lament. "Can't you see this is what we do, no matter where we are? From the very beginning we partnered up, and I put my life in your hands. I trusted you and you trusted me and we've had each other's backs ever since. Why mess with a good thing?"

"Because that was the past. You can't get yesterday back, no matter how hard you try," she replied, hoping he didn't remember the things he'd said to her in the woods.

"What does that mean?" he shook his head in denial though it hurt to do so. "The past is erased, none of it ever happened? You don't love me anymore? You never really loved me?" he looked her in the eye and watched as she shrugged. Derek could see it was a half-hearted effort. He didn't know why she persisted in being so obstinate.

"Maybe…" she whispered. "Maybe I've never really known what love means. I always seem to do it wrong or mess it up somehow."

He reached for her again. "Forget it, Emily. I don't buy it. A person can fake a lot of different emotions; lust and grief… even pain. But you can't fake love. I don't believe that. Not love, Jo. You know what it is," he took her hand and squeezed it gently. "It's this. It's us."

With the smallest hint of a smile, she caved just a little. "I can't deny that. My love for you has always felt different. Better. Right."

With all his strength he clung to the fact that she hadn't spoken of their love in the past tense. But he could tell she was still holding back. "Do you remember Halloween?" he probed. "I hate Halloween. You know that. But you came to DC to surprise me and we spent two great days together," Derek recalled fondly. "Then I proposed and, even though you hid it pretty well, I could tell you were freaked. You didn't run, though. You said to me… you said you never wanted to hurt me. And you never wanted to mess up what we had."

She swallowed a mouthful of regret. "But I did."

"Yes, and this is messy, Emily. This is ridiculously messy," he pointed out. "But it doesn't have to be. Except if you walk away again… if you walk away this time…"

"What?" she challenged, her fingers still weaved with his. "If I walk away what will happen?" Emily wanted him to end it, to make the ultimatum she could turn away from.

Morgan shook his head again, and smiled weakly in defeat. "I'll still love you," he sighed, allowing her hand to fall away from his. "I will always love you. Even if that makes me a fool."

Those weren't the words she'd been expecting. Not even close. And she could only answer them with the truth. "A wise man recently told me that everyone in love is a fool. I'll always love you, too, Derek. Nothing can change that. But it doesn't necessarily mean we should be together. It just means we'll never stop wanting to protect each other." Emily reached in her pocket and pulled something free. She transferred it to his palm and closed his fingers around it. Then she left.

Derek knew what she'd given him without even looking. Their worn wooden corners pressed against his skin. Her grandfather's tiles.

He watched her walk away again. But this time he held on to the hope that she hadn't said goodbye.

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	50. Award

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

**I am slowly working on more of the Text Series, but this fluff needed to be cleared from my head first...**

* * *

><p><strong>Award<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>Emily leaned against the door frame and watched him sleep.<p>

She glanced at the clock in his dark room and smiled as she shook her head. After several minutes he was still unmoved by her presence and snoring softly. "Unbelievable," Emily whispered to herself as she moved toward the bed. She flopped down beside him, recalling the glorious two weeks she'd spent sleeping beside him during his surprise Valentine's visit to London. The two nights of sleeping alone before she'd boarded her own flight to DC had been very lonely.

"Why is it that you managed to wake me up early every morning in London, and made me late for work several times," she spoke softly, not caring if he actually woke or not. "And here we are at your place now with you sleeping until noon," Emily sighed, "Leaving me with nothing to do all morning."

He reached out one arm and drew her near. "You can sleep beside me a little longer," Derek suggested, his eyes still closed.

"But I'm already awake," she protested, but snuggled down beside him. "I've been awake for hours."

"Cut me a break, I've still got jet lag from my trip home," he yawned. "How can you be so bright and cheery? I've had nearly three days to recover, you just flew in yesterday."

Her lips curled into a smile as she watched him slowly try to open his eyes. "I guess all the traveling I've done over the years makes me more adaptable," Emily shrugged. "Come on, wakey wakey sleeping beauty," she teased. "We still have several hours before my Oscars party. Aren't you going to take me sightseeing?" she joked.

"Oscars?" Morgan's eyes finally stayed open for more than a few seconds. "I thought the Oscars were on Sunday. Isn't it Saturday? Or did I sleep that long?"

"The Oscars were actually last Sunday while you were visiting me," she clarified. "But your team was on a case at that time, so JJ and Garcia missed out on having their annual ladies only Oscars party, which is why they're having it today. And I plan to crash the party."

"You know more about my team than I do. And you're such a rebel," he tiredly teased.

She lightly socked him in the arm. "You should've known me in high school. Those were my rebel days."

"I think I might have been scared of you then," he replied. "I am a little now," Morgan grinned as he rubbed his arm where she'd hit him.

Her eyes rolled. "I brought a special dress with me to wear tonight."

Derek sat up in his bed, keeping her close. "What sort of dress? I like you in dresses."

Her laugh was swift and sharp. "You'd like me in anything, or nothing," she guessed. "Scary or not you're just after my body."

"That could be," Morgan nodded as he leaned in for a kiss. "But we'll have to leave that fun for later. I agreed to help Hotch out with Jack's soccer coaching today. And…" he glanced at the clock. "Crap," he was out of bed and on his feet in a second. "I'm going to be late," Derek concluded as he dashed for the bathroom. He poked his head back in to the room a moment later and let his eyes roam her body for a moment. "Any chance you haven't showered yet?"

Emily chuckled. "I have not."

He extended his hand to her. "Would you like to join me?"

With memories of their first shower together firmly planted in her head, she nodded willingly and followed after him.

xxx

"Welcome, welcome…" Garcia stepped aside and allowed her second guest into her small but cozy apartment.

Alex glanced at her co-worker's attire and wasn't sure if she should smile or cringe. The three tiers of lime-green taffeta were a bit much, even for the normally eccentric FBI tech. The newest member of the BAU settled on a smile as she entered the equally unconventional apartment. Wearing her usual business casual, she hadn't banked on the other two wearing dresses. As she moved toward the living room she spotted JJ in a silky pink frock that hugged all her curves.

"I'm under dressed," Blake said as she handed over a bottle of wine to her hostess.

Penelope grinned. "A little, but I think we forgot to mention that we go all out for our ladies only Academy Award watching parties." She ushered Alex toward the sofa. "No worries, it's a tradition that we all wear our fanciest dresses, but you were not to know."

"You all?" Alex questioned as she plunked herself down. "There's only the two of you."

JJ nodded. "Yeah, but the tradition started about five years ago and has always included Emily until now."

That comment didn't make Blake feel any more at ease. She'd heard plenty about the woman who had worked with their team before. Alex knew that none of them judged her by Emily's standards; at least she knew that in her head. But she remained a little uncertain. It wasn't easy being the new 'kid' and trying to make friends. For the most part she felt the others had let her in. She had prior relationships with Hotch, Rossi and Reid. JJ and Garcia were a little different, though. Not to mention she'd never made female friends very easily.

"I'm sorry she's not here this year," Alex offered, not wanting to squash their memories of a friend who couldn't be there.

It was Garcia who plopped her taffeta behind down beside Alex and put a friendly arm about the woman's shoulder. "You're sweet to say that, but we're super glad to have you here."

Blake believed the woman and was warmed by the sentiment. "So, how many of the nine nominated movies have you two seen?" she tried to relax and enjoy herself.

"Only one for me," JJ replied first. "It's not easy finding time for a date night with Will, so mostly I saw kid friendly movies last year. But we did make it to Argo. Very good," she noted.

"I've seen Argo as well, plus Lincoln," Garcia revealed. "Kevin and I used to see tons of movies together so this year I've kind of been avoiding the movies because of the memories and… well, you do not need to listen to me go on about…"

There was a knock at her door.

Garcia shrugged, not knowing who it could be. "We haven't even ordered the food yet," she called over her shoulder as she looked through the peep hole. Her jaw dropped and she excitedly opened the door. "Emily?!" she squealed to see her friend standing there in the flesh, so much nicer than only hearing her voice over the phone the last six months.

"Surprise," Emily wore a slightly worried smile. "I hope I'm not intruding?"

"Are you kidding me," Penelope drew her close for a bone-crushing hug. "It's so good to see you, get your butt in here," she closed the door as Emily sashayed inside. "And look at that butt of yours," Garcia sighed. "All perfectly perfect in…" she admired Emily's attire. A rich navy chiffon that was fit all the way to mid-thigh and then flared outward in a cascade of ruffles down to the floor. "This is completely gorgeous."

Emily didn't get a moment to respond as JJ came to greet her with nearly the same amount of bone-crushing to her embrace. "When did you get this beauty?" JJ stepped back to admire the dress Emily had on. "It's stunning."

"My mother is having an official retirement function in DC on Monday, which is why I'm in town. But I figured a trial run for the dress would be good, and what better occasion than out Oscars party," Emily explained. "It's tradition, right?" she grinned, happy to be visiting with dear friends. "I didn't even miss it that year I died."

"No, you didn't," JJ smiled. "But the Oscars were last weekend. We were on a case. How did you know we were doing the party this weekend?"

"I run an Interpol office," Emily tried not to make it sound boastful. "I know how to gather important information," she left it at that.

The three old friends laughed and chatted for another few minutes, still huddled near the door. It was Emily who finally noticed the poor woman standing a few paces away, and looking rather out of place. "Hi, I'm Emily," she broke away from the group, extending her hand and a welcome smile. "You must be Alex?"

With a nod, Blake took Emily's offering and shook. "Yes, it's good to meet you."

"You, too," Emily agreed sincerely. "The team has nothing but good things to say about you."

Alex felt suddenly at ease with the woman and Garcia shooed them all to the sofa. "The red carpet coverage is about to start with the click on my play button," Penelope declared.

The wine began to flow as they enthusiastically watched the recorded coverage, a slew of stars being interviewed for two or three minutes at a time. Mostly the microphones and cameras were focused on the women and their dresses. Gown and jewelry designer names were dropped more times that a toddler flinging his toy for the amusement of watching a parent retrieve it repeatedly. "Jennifer Lawrence looks like a fairy princess," Garcia noticed.

"Oh, I really like that dress Jessica Chastain has on," JJ commented. "But she…"

"It does nothing for her," Emily supplied.

"Exactly," JJ agreed.

"Washes her out," Garcia added. "Beautiful woman, gorgeous dress… but the two together are not a pair."

"Um hmm," Emily and JJ confirmed at the same time.

Blake was a little intimidated by the way the three of them practically completed each other's thoughts. But even with a few months of being on the team under her belt she understood the amount of time they'd all spent together over the years. "Jennifer Garner's dress is lovely," she did her best to dive in to the conversation. "That's a really great color, especially on her." She looked over to find the others starring at her. There was a moment of silence before they all smiled.

"You have excellent taste, professor," Garcia replied.

"Yep, she's a real stunner in that purple-fuchsia color," JJ added.

"My favorite so far," Emily nodded. "She's so adorable, and she and Ben certainly seem to be one of the more down to earth celebrity couples out there. Gives you hope that…" she trailed off, interrupted by the ringing of her cell phone. Emily did her best to be discrete about answering it. "Hey… no, I told you this was a ladies only party… right… probably not for a few hours, could be a little late," she practically whispered, hoping to not be overheard. "Okay, bye."

Garcia stared at her unexpected guest. "You know the rules," she held out a hand and wiggled her fingers. "Absolutely no cell phones at the Oscars."

Emily chuckled and handed over her phone. "Sorry."

"So, who was he?" Alex asked.

"Huh?" Emily gulped, feeling a little taken aback by the question. "You mean on the phone?" she stalled. "Why would you think it was a he?"

"Because you mentioned it being a ladies only party," it was JJ who jumped in.

She nervously chewed her lip for a moment, not sure what all to reveal. Emily didn't even know how much Derek had told them about his trip. "It was Reid who let slip about the Oscars party today so I thought it would be fun to fly in early and surprise you guys."

"Doesn't really explain the guy on the phone call," JJ pointed out. "Unless it was Reid," there was clearly doubt in her tone.

Penelope held Emily's phone aloft. "I could find out."

"Garcia," Emily's voice held a note of warning, or more like pleading. "Please, don't."

"You really don't want us to know," JJ guessed.

"I…" Emily sighed. "It's not that. I do, actually, a lot. It's just. Well, it's sort of complicated at the moment."

"He's married?" Blake wondered.

Emily smiled despite the fact she felt a little on trial. She admired Alex Blake for jumping right in with JJ and Garcia. "No," her head shook. "He's not married. It's just a very new thing going on between us and I don't really know where it will lead, if anywhere. And it's difficult with him being here in DC and me being in London and…"

Alex instantly felt bad for bringing it up, suddenly understanding what the woman was feeling. "Say no more," she insisted. "My husband being so far away is agony some days. Though kind of nice sometimes," she smiled. "But at least we already have an established relationship," she realized. "I guess starting off long distance would be difficult."

"It's not like we haven't known each other for a long time," Emily let slip.

JJ eyed her friend contemplatively. "Who have you known in this area for a long time?"

"Oh, maybe…" Penelope waved her hand as she brought his name to mind. "That guy you knew as a teenager… what was his name? John Cooley?" Garcia finally recalled.

"No," Emily's answer was firm. "Trust me, it is not John. We… that was never…" her head shook. "No."

"Your friend who's been raising Declan," JJ hinted around some more.

Again Emily's head shook a solid answer. "No."

"The only other people you've really known here for a long time are the BAU guys, Rossi, Hotch and Reid," Garcia pointed out.

"Morgan," Alex supplied the one name Penelope had left off.

JJ and Garcia watched as Emily's face changed at the mention of Derek's name. Her lips parted ever so softly, her eyes glazed over a bit and a tiny hint of crimson rapidly flushed her cheeks. Garcia was so surprised by the notion that she quickly powered up Emily's phone and glanced at it. "You have one recent phone call," she announced. "From Derek."

"Can I please have that back," Emily held a hand out for the phone.

Garcia passed it over. "Sorry, I just never… you and Derek?" she was a little speechless.

"Really?" it was Alex who responded, her eyes searching JJ and Garcia questioningly. "The two of you never suspected something was up with Morgan? You do remember that he just returned from London three days ago, and that he was there very close to Valentine's Day," she jogged their memories.

"OMG, the bear!" Penelope snapped her fingers as her eyes widened with realization. "When he said he was taking his annual leave to visit you and see more of Europe I figured it was like when we went over during the summer, a couple of friends just hanging out. And he asked if he should get you a Valentine's gift…" she actually took a quick breath before continuing. "I didn't realize it was more than a stuffed bear occasion."

Emily grinned, thinking about the bear Derek had given her. The lovely roses had died off within a week, and the chocolate strawberries had lasted even a shorter time. But she kept the bear on the nightstand beside her bed so she could see it every morning and recall that first morning with Derek when he'd made her late for work. "Isn't this meant to be an Oscar viewing party?" she changed the subject in an attempt to keep some things to herself.

"Forget about Oscar, we know that outcome," Garcia replied. "I want to know what's going on with you and Derek. How much of Europe did he actually see other than your bedroom?"

"Maybe we should respect her privacy," Blake interjected.

"I agree, let's get back to the Oscars," JJ gently tried to draw Penelope's attention back to the last of the red carpet coverage playing out.

"Good plan," Emily said. "I can't stay out too late, I need my beauty rest tonight. I've got a book store and coffee shop date with Reid in the morning," she revealed.

"What, are you dating all of the BAU now?" Penelope teased, hoping to ease any early tension she may have caused by over prying in her friend's life.

Emily's head shook as she relaxed some more. "Funny, but no. Just a long overdue visit with a good friend. Kind of like tonight with you guys."

Alex knew she wasn't included in that sentiment, but she already liked the woman. "Reid will be glad to see you. He misses you."

An uncertain look crossed over Emily's features. "You think so?"

"He mentioned it recently," Blake confirmed. "And I know he was happy to get your call last week."

Those words made Emily feel a lot less left out of the BAU gang.

"Well…" Garcia huffed as she settled back down between Alex and JJ. Emily was on JJ's other side so Penelope leaned forward for a moment to eye her again. "Emily, my dearest, I'm sorry I checked your phone. That was rude. But can I at least ask one question?" she ventured. "Are you two in love?"

"Me and Reid?" Emily grinned at the obvious dodge of Garcia's question.

The tech rolled her eyes. "You know I meant my chocolate stud Derek."

"I know," Emily let that question dangle as she reclined in her fancy dress and aimed her eyes on the TV.

xxx

Derek greeted her at the door of his place even though he'd given her a key.

"Sorry I'm so late," she apologized. "I planned not to stay so long but… I didn't mean to wake you."

He kissed her cheek, his hands resting against her hips. "You said you'd likely be late. I wanted to wait up for you. Did you have fun?"

Emily enjoyed the feel of his hands rubbing against the soft fabric of her dress, but she really wanted him to peel it off so she could feel the softness of his skin against hers. "I did have fun," she nodded a little too ardently, a bit too much wine still in her system. "And you should know that I won an award tonight for most transparent woman in love," she spoke softly in his ear as she kissed the lobe and then a little lower on his neck.

"What does that mean?" he held her back for a moment to look her in the eye.

"Garcia, JJ and Alex now know about us," she revealed, "Officially."

"Blake was there?" Derek seemed more interested in that fact. "How'd that go?"

"She's nice. I was afraid I might be jealous of her, but that was pretty silly of me," Emily realized. "I'm glad she's fitting so well with the team," she honestly relayed. "But you changed the subject," she regrouped. "I thought you'd told Garcia about us, or at least a potential us. I figured the whole bear thing meant she knew."

Morgan shrugged apologetically. "We kind of had other things to talk about in London."

"And things to not talk about," she said before kissing him properly. "I liked the not talking parts."

"So did I," he grinned, lifting her into his arms and carrying her to his bedroom.

She laughed as he tossed her onto the bed. "Excuse me, but you seem to have the wrong impression about me, mister," Emily pressed her palms against his chest as he climbed atop the bed and hovered his weight above her. "There are some things we should probably talk about now, don't you think?"

Morgan back tracked a little. His hands slid down her sides, down her legs. He caressed her ankles for a moment before he took hold of the bottom hem of her navy dress. Then his hands smooth their way back up her bare legs as he attempted to remove the dress. "I don't have much to say right now," he breathed a little heavier than usual. "Except to say that you are absolutely gorgeous in this dress. But I know from previous experience that you'll look even better out of it."

It was hard to resist his words and his actions, but Emily halted him for a moment. Her dress and his hands stopped at mid-thigh. "I was just thinking maybe we should talk about living arrangements." She watched the interest spark in his eye. "You visited me for two weeks and I followed you back here to spend a little more time with you. But I will have to go home to London soon. All of this long distance is going to get harder and harder."

"Woman," he groaned. "Stop saying such provocative things," Derek warned as he leaned in for another kiss.

"What sort of things?" she grinned, "Living or arrangements?"

"You're an evil tease," Morgan allowed his hands to reach her waist, the now thick bunch of her dress becoming a bit much to handle.

Emily finally helped him out and lifted her arms above her head so he could easily remove the garment. But, even clothed in only her undergarments, she continued to stall his seduction efforts. "A lot of people solve the issue by finding a place to live in between their two locations."

That certainly gave him pause. "But the only thing between London and DC is a whole lot of ocean," Derek pointed out.

"Exactly," she nodded, laying there beside him as he did his best to entice her. Emily closed her eyes for a moment as he kissed her, almost everywhere but her lips. "I figure we'll have to hire a good aquatic architect to help us design a suitable place."

His efforts came to a premature pause. Morgan propped himself up on one arm and glanced at her, wondering what the heck she was going on about. "Aquatic architect?"

"To build our ocean house," she nodded. "And we're going to need a helicopter. Well, two I suppose. One to take you to work in DC, and one to take me to London."

"You're a bit drunk," he smiled. "For a minute I almost believed you were trying to be serious." Derek resumed his previous endeavor. "I award you the Oscar for craziest woman I will ever love," he kissed her palm. "Crazy woman I plan to love for a very long time," his warm lips suckled her wrist. "Crazy woman I want to make love to right now."

Her smile was a little self-conscious, but she delighted in the following kisses he planted along her arm.

"I'd like to thank the Academy for this wonderful honor," she chuckled. "And I would be remise not to mention the man I love, Derek Morgan. He has always thought me crazy, since that day when I revealed to him what a huge nerd I am."

Derek ran the tip of one finger along her lips. "You were so cute that day," he revealed. "It was hard working with you all those years, trying to be professional," he confessed before kissing her again. The love making that followed was inevitable, but slower than it had been that morning. They took their time and Derek kept her close afterwards, pulling his silky green comforter around their bodies for warmth. He took her hand in his and lazily kissed each fingertip. "Do you think we rely too much on sex in this relationship?" he asked.

She was barely awake but laughed softly. "This relationship is barely two and a half weeks old. That's when you're meant to enjoy it most, when it's new and fresh."

"Nah," he whispered throatily. "I don't ever want sex with you to grow old. That is a goal I plan to work hard at."

Emily smiled sleepily. "I thought chicks were the ones meant to initiate the post-coital chit chat," she teased. "I have a date with Reid in the morning and it's late."

Morgan frowned but he kissed her hand again. "I know you were just joking about that whole ocean house idea of yours, but are we going to have a serious talk about us at some point?" he wondered. "Soon, before you head back to London?" Derek let go of her hand in favor of looking her in the eye. "I don't want this to end."

A weighty sigh escaped as she bit her lip. "I hope this doesn't end either. But I have a job in London that's become important to me and I don't think I can make any promises right now, Derek. Or plan too far ahead. I finally feel like my life is moving forward in a positive motion, and I'm optimistic that will include you for a long time. But it's just hard for me to…"

"Commit?" he dared to ask.

With a nod Emily probed a little deeper, "Is that a deal breaker?"

His fingers caressed her shoulder and her neck. "No, it's not," Derek was quick to assure her. "I have to admit that I'm actually at a point where I'd like to commit, settle down if you will," the words sounded a bit odd coming from his mouth. But she made him want more out of life. "Long distance is not the way I'd prefer to do this. But you're worth every effort. I will do whatever I can to keep us together, even when we're apart."

"Well," she licked her lips. "If you keep treating me like this I just might change my mind about the scariness of commitment," Emily yielded.

"Hmm…" Morgan closed his eyes. "Sounds a bit like a challenge."

She smiled and snuggled up closer, "It just might be."

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	51. Journey

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

* * *

><p><strong>Journey<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>Derek was alone on the BAU jet, waiting on the tarmac for the rest of the team.<p>

He sat for several minutes rubbing Emily's two Scrabble tiles back and forth in his hand, staring at the bulkhead. His thoughts were far from the home invasion case Garcia had called them in on twenty minutes ago. Instead, they were stuck on Emily again, much as they'd been for most of the last two weeks since she'd left him in an Alaskan hospital. He hadn't been on a new case since that crash. He had been on a plane, though. But neither of those issues were the reason for his current anxiety.

The tiles made a dull clink-clack sound as their worn surfaces skimmed against one another.

Reid and JJ slid into the two empty seats across from Morgan.

"I'm sorry," JJ apologized.

Those words drew Derek out of his contemplative state. He glanced up to see JJ looking at him. "For what?" Morgan wondered.

"I think…" she sighed regretfully, her head shaking as she looked Derek in the eye. "I was a little too hard on her. Emily. When we were searching for you in Alaska I kind of said some things that maybe she felt were me being judgmental. I don't know. I didn't mean to be so critical but I was upset with her for the way she's been acting. You'd think she would know better than anyone what it's like to be left behind; what it's like to have the person you love abandon you."

Morgan felt a new level of respect for his partner. "This isn't because of anything you said, JJ."

Rossi joined the group and perched himself on the armrest of the nearest seat. He'd heard enough upon entering the jet to know what they were all talking about. "Did you know that Emily thinks your snoring is cute?" he asked. "Her word, not mine," Rossi recalled, with a smile, what she'd told him in Alaska. "Maybe that novelty would wear off sooner or later. But, if I could find a woman who thought my snoring was cute, I'd be sure not to let her go. Ever."

"I don't know that it's up to me," Derek replied, more willing to discuss the topic since his near death experience. "Her fears are keeping her from… from anything good."

"This is Emily's we're talking about," Reid finally spoke from his spot next to JJ, having listened to the others. "Of course she's afraid, of course she's running," he didn't think it was anything to be surprised about. "She ran right to Doyle because she wanted to protect all of us. She gave herself up to Benjamin Cyrus to save me from getting hurt. Emily's greatest fear is losing those she cares about most. It's probably always been her fear and always will be."

"So what do I do?" Morgan felt more helpless than he ever had.

The three of them exchanged glances. "We don't have that answer," Rossi was the only one to supply a response.

Emily's words echoed in Derek's head again, something she'd said to him in the hospital. "_A wise man recently told me that everyone in love is a fool_." Derek had a pretty good feeling Rossi had been the one to say it. He knew the two of them had been searching together in Alaska, and he knew she'd confided in Rossi on other occasions. It also seemed like the sort of cynical thing Rossi might say. Except, the more Derek thought about it the more he realized it wasn't necessarily pessimistic.

"Love isn't always about perfect timing or unwavering devotion," his words were soft at first, but they grew a little stronger. "Sometimes it's about throwing caution to the wind, letting yourself be foolish… taking a risk," Morgan glanced at the tiles in his hand again and he finally started to understand. He'd given them to Emily after finding her alive. After losing them, he'd given them again as a sign of his love for her. And she'd given them to him in the hospital after finding him alive.

"You lost me," Reid said.

Derek squeezed the tiles tighter. "That was something my mother once said when I asked her about how she and my dad ended up together." As his mother's wise words continued to echo in his head, the memory of his father – the vision he'd seen in the Alaska woods – came to mind again. "_Find a way to make it happen. If texting isn't the answer, find another one_." Morgan felt the soft tickle of an idea beginning to churn in his head. "Find a new way," he whispered.

Without another word to any of them, Morgan got up and grabbed the go bag he'd stashed earlier. He was out of the plane and making his way down the steps when Hotch approached. The two men stood facing one another on the black-top. A small gust of cool wind skipped across the runway. "You do realize our case is in Utah," Hotch was the first to speak. "Are you planning to walk there?"

"You already know I'm not going, don't you?" Derek responded.

Hotch nodded. "You and I agreed a long time ago not to profile one another and I respect that," he pointed out. "But I'm about to make a guess. You're not coming back, are you?"

Morgan's shoulders raised a fraction. "I'm a firm believer in never saying never, but she's in London right now," Derek sighed, not out of frustration but due to a new sense of understanding. "Which is where I need to be," he decided. "I'll write something up. Make it official."

Again there was a nod from Hotch. "I won't even ask if you're sure. I've been expecting it," he extended his hand. "You know it takes more than love to make a relationship last."

"I do," Morgan replied as he shook the hand of the man he'd followed on the job for nearly twelve years; a man he'd grown to respect greatly even though they often clashed. "Even if she doesn't want to listen to me right now, I have to try."

"Good luck," Hotch said.

xxx

He huffed with exasperation, but tried to keep his calm.

"Is there anything else today?" Morgan prodded as he leaned heavily against the podium. Nearly fifteen hours had passed and he was still no closer to London than when he'd left the team behind at the Quantico airstrip. His first standby flight had been cancelled due to technical issues. That had been six hours ago. "I'm sorry sir but our red-eye flight is fully booked. You can wait on standby again, but odds aren't good. There won't be another flight until tomorrow morning at 9am."

"What about another airline?" he persisted.

"You'll lose your payment for the earlier flight that was cancelled," she cautioned. "But you're welcome to try that possibility."

"But you can put me on the standby list for tonight's flight?" Derek returned to that option.

She smiled. "Of course, sir. We'll page you if anything opens up."

Thirty minutes later he was boarding the flight.

He stowed his bag in an overhead bin and began the arduous process of squeezing himself into a window seat in economy class. Thankfully, no one else had arrived in the other two seats yet. He'd barely gotten his belt done up when a familiar face appeared in the aisle. "Hi, Derek," the young girl wore a smile and sunk into the seat beside him. "I saw you in the lobby and was hoping you'd be on this flight with me."

"Molly," he remembered the nine-year-old girl from his last trip to London. "You sure do make this trip a lot," he noticed.

She rolled her eyes. "My stupid parents are being impossible. And I'm their favorite tug of war toy."

"Sorry, kiddo," Derek lamented with her. "Too bad I didn't get a first class upgrade this time, it'd be nice to have someone to talk to, take my mind off… things. I'm pretty tired, but I don't think I'll be able to sleep either."

"Is something up with you and Emily?" Molly intuitively guessed.

The girl looked at him with a lot more concern than most children. Derek knew her story, her divorced parents and all the back and forth between them. For some reason he felt comfortable talking to the girl about Emily. He relayed some of what had happened in short order. "Wow, well…" she looked up in time to find an elderly couple studying the row and seat signs beside them. With a glance at their tickets, Molly stood and smiled. "You're in the right spot," the girl assured them.

"Hey, Derek, why don't we give these two their own row and you can sit with me in first class." She tugged at his hand. "My dad has decided to buy me two seats from now on. He claims there've been complaints about me, something about passengers thinking I talk too much," she shrugged. "Anyhow, the flight attendants won't mind if you join me. Actually they find me annoying so they usually give me what I want."

He shimmied out of his seat and maneuvered around the kindly looking couple. "You're misunderstood, kid," Derek said to Molly as they walked toward the front of the plane.

"That's what I'm always telling my parents," she grinned.

They settled into their seats and Derek had to admit the extra leg room helped him relax, a little.

But six hours into their flight Morgan had failed to get any sleep, as predicted. Every time his eyes closed his nerves kept his brain from being able to shut down. He was somewhat surprised that Molly had been asleep for several hours. Derek found that he actually missed her voice. At least talking had kept him from thinking about Emily for a short while. Morgan was about to flag down a flight attendant for some tea or warm milk, or anything to relax him, but the announcement overhead stopped him.

"_We've begun our decent into London. All services will conclude in ten minutes_."

The female's voice overhead was followed by Molly's whole body jolting awake wildly. "Easy there, kiddo," Derek put a comforting hand against her left arm. "Bad dream?"

She blinked rapidly for a moment and looked him in the eye. "A nightmare, actually."

Derek grew concerned when she refrained from saying anything more. "What's up, Molly?" he pushed a little deeper. "You've been pretty quiet. No offence, but that's not like you."

Molly smiled softly. "My parents are…" she sighed. "Never mind. You don't want to know about my stuff. You've got enough trouble with Emily being so stubborn."

"I appreciate your concern for my troubles," he kept his focus on the girl. "But you can talk to me if you want."

"My dad's getting remarried," she blurted, "To the girlfriend I told you about before, Nancy. She thinks I should live with them instead of my mom. Nancy says dad's been too nice to my mother, allowing me to be with her most of the time. She doesn't really care about me being with them, though, she just hates that he sends so much money to my mom. But all of it goes to me, for school and medical bills and all that," she sighed. "There's going to be a new custody trial soon."

"Jeez, Mol," Derek shook his head sympathetically. "That's got to be rough."

"Yeah, it sucks," she confirmed. "The first time I was so little that the judge didn't care what I thought. They put me with my mom because that's how most cases go. But now that I'm older I know they'll ask me what I want."

"What do you want?"

"Doesn't matter, it won't happen."

He understood. "You want your parents back together."

"I love them both and I can't pick one over the other," Molly lamented. "How could I?"

"You're right kiddo, that does suck," he patted her hand.

She changed the subject back to something light, telling him all about the new weaving loom her dad had bought for her and the awesome potholders she'd made with it. He was grateful of her renewed talkativeness. It made the next twenty minutes pass quickly. Unfortunately it was another ten minutes before news of their arrival came overhead. "_This is your captain speaking. I regret to inform you that due to heavy London fog we have been diverted from Heathrow to Paris_."

Molly and Derek looked at each other and spoke at the same time. "This sucks."

They were on the ground in Paris an hour and twenty minutes later.

Morgan stood at another airport podium, this time trying to fight a language barrier as he hoped to figure out a new flight to London. "Monsieur, nous faisons tout possible de t'obtenir un nouveau vol." He shrugged and turned to Molly who had remained close to him. "Did you understand any of that?"

Her head shook. "Sorry."

"I hate feeling like an ignorant American," Derek grumbled.

"Allow me," a voice said from behind them in line.

Derek turned and stared at the man for a moment. "Easter?" he chuckled, instantly shaking hands. "What the heck are you doing here?"

Clyde grinned. "I'm trying to get to London as well, but have only made it from Lyon to Paris so far."

"Well, if you speak French," Morgan waved a hand toward the podium. "Please, be my guest. We need two seats, any seats."

"Should I warn Emily that you've started dating much younger women?" Clyde asked teasingly as he smiled at the girl with Derek.

"This is Molly, an old friend," Derek introduced. "After we landed in Paris her mother contacted local airline authorities. I now have permission to get Molly back to London by any means necessary," he informed Easter, "Planes, trains or automobiles."

Clyde's brows arched. "Haven't we had enough of trains for one lifetime?" he commented before he began to rattle off a slew of French words to the woman at the podium. "Merci," he concluded after a short time. Turning to his friend he could only offer, "Sorry." Easter ushered Derek and Molly aside so the next passengers could be helped. "No luck. All flights into London have been delayed at least until tomorrow morning."

Derek sighed. "I've already been delayed so many times I haven't slept in twenty-four hours." He left out the part about not being able to sleep even when given the opportunity.

"I can have a car here very shortly. We'll take the Channel Tunnel. Unfortunately it will involve a car shuttle train," Clyde further directed them as they walked. "But, barring any unforeseen complications, I'll have you both in London by nightfall," he vowed.

An hour later they were stuck on the side of the road with a flat tire. "Did you really need to mention complications," Morgan frowned at Clyde. The two of them sat in the back of the silver sedan Easter had hired. Molly was between them. The driver was currently on the phone with a road-side service since they didn't have a spare.

Molly twisted in her seat and faced the man to her left. "So, what are you going to London for?" she asked Easter. "Business or pleasure?"

"Is she joking?" Clyde directed his inquire to Derek.

Morgan shook his head, trying not to laugh. "Kids are curious."

"I used to run the London Interpol office, young lady," Easter replied.

She rolled her eyes. "Okay, first, no one calls me young lady aside from my dad when he's mad at me. And thankfully that's not very often. Second, you didn't actually answer my question, which means you're avoiding it. Which means it must be about pleasure and you're being all secretive about it."

Easter shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Or I could be on a secret mission that might get you killed if you pester me with more questions."

"Hey," Derek shot a warning glare at the other man. "Don't freak her out."

"Sorry," Clyde apologized.

"She must be special," Molly surmised. "All the best relationships are the ones we want to keep secret."

"We?" Morgan questioned.

"How old is she?" Easter added.

Molly chuckled. "I watch too much TV," she admitted. "So, have you known her very long?" the girl persisted. "What's she like? Is she the one, you know, that you want to spend the rest of your life with? Are you thinking marriage?"

Derek did laugh as he watched Easter squirm under Molly's interrogation. He doubted the man had ever flinched under much more dire circumstances. That thought brought up an uninvited bout of jealousy. Morgan suddenly wondered if Easter's unease at all of the questions were due to the fact that the person he'd been seeing was someone he didn't want Derek to know about. And there was only one woman that could be. He knew Clyde and Emily had a history together, but he'd never actually asked to what extent.

"Are you and Emily…" Derek eyed the man, not sure exactly how to pose the question. He figured direct was best. "Are you dating Emily?"

"Don't be ridiculous," Clyde quickly put the man's worries to rest. "I have to admit Emily is the one woman I tried to pursue that I could never catch, in more ways than one. But she is not the woman I'm on my way to London right now to see," he revealed.

"So it is a woman?" Molly jumped on his slip.

Clyde groaned.

xxx

Derek tapped softly at her door.

Easter had gotten them to London a little later than planned, midnight to be exact. Molly's mother had been grateful, though. Now Derek hoped Emily would be as thankful to see him. It had only taken a small bit of sleuthing on Garcia's part to find Emily's new address. He wasn't all that surprised to discover she'd moved into a building just a few blocks south of where Tasha, her sister and Elya lived. Actually he was happy of the fact, glad that she had good friends nearby.

He knocked again a little louder. But minutes slipped by with no answer.

Morgan dialed her cell phone. When he couldn't hear any sort of ring from inside, he set off down the street. It was the middle of the night, dark and rather chilly. A thick fog remained hovering above the buildings. The city was still somewhat alive, though. He arrived outside Tasha's building without much thought as to where he'd been headed. But once there he didn't hesitate to disturb her. Tasha answered her door, messy hair and clothed in a robe tied loosely about her waist. But she smiled to see him. "Derek."

"I'm sorry to wake you, but I'm looking for Emily."

"I know," Tasha responded.

"Well she's not here," another voice joined them. A man's voice.

Morgan's eyes widened as he watched the man appear in Tasha's doorway.

"I told you it wasn't Emily I was coming to see in London, didn't I?"

"Easter," Derek spoke the name, somewhat surprised. "I…" his eyes spied the dark figure of a cat approaching. He recognized the black feline. "She's on a case?" Morgan guessed, knowing she'd been leaving Sergio with Elya when she went away for work.

Clyde picked up the cat so he wouldn't escape the open door of Tasha's flat. "No, she's up north visiting Nara and Marta," Tasha revealed. "I don't care if she's angry at me for telling you that. She's a very obstinate woman. I hope you will help her see there is more to life than worrying about the bad parts," she leaned against Easter and he put an arm about her.

Derek nodded. "Thank you," he kissed Tasha's cheek and set off again.

He sat in a London train station until mid-morning. Then he endured a six hour train ride north. It took another few hours before he found a bus that would get him relatively close to Marta's Inn. He walked the last two miles to the Inn, all the while wondering how the woman ever made any money with a business at the end of the world. Or so it seemed to his weary body. But as he approached, Derek remembered what a lovely place it was - a destination worth the trip.

However, he arrived so tired he wasn't sure if the dim sunlight was due to morning breaking or evening dwindling. At the Inn, Marta let him know Emily had gone for a walk. He found her easily enough, a straight shot east from the Inn's main exit. The emerald green hills undulated gracefully as the sun shifted lower, slowly. "Dusk," he whispered the realization as he spotted Emily several yards off, standing alone on the bank of a lazy river.

The river seemed not to have any sort of origin and no clear destination that he could make out. Very much how he felt as he placed a hand against her shoulder.

Emily started and spun around.

A moment of silence stretched out as far as the rolling hills while she digested his presence. For a time she thought maybe she was dreaming. But it was hard not to notice the dark and puffiness beneath his eyes. The several days' growth of beard left no sign of his goatee design. Those visible signs led her to believe he was not the figment of some dream she was having. "What are you doing here?" she finally whispered.

"I had a strange desire to see the Scottish countryside," Derek quipped as he regarded her.

He wanted to pull her close but hesitated. "What do you think I'm doing here, Emily? I came to talk to you. Tasha told me I could find you here, but please don't be mad at her. It took me a heck of a time to get here and I haven't slept in, I'm not even sure any more, days I think. The one thing I didn't come here to do is argue with you," he saw that she was still unmoved. "To tell you I love you," he said. "That's what I'm doing here."

"You shouldn't have bothered making the trip." The words pained her to say but she held to them.

"Okay, now I do plan to argue with you," he reached out and took her hand. Derek placed the two Scrabble tiles against her palm. "I didn't make a trip here, Emily. This has been a journey, and it started a lot longer than just a few days ago. It started years ago when I met you." He tried to catch her eye but she was avoiding him. "I know you said that loving each other doesn't necessarily mean we should be together. But can you look me in the eye and honestly tell me you want us to go back to the beginning?"

She finally looked him in the eye - the one thing she knew would break her. "No," Emily responded, allowing her fingers to clasp the tiles in her hand.

"Then what's stopping you? What do you feel when we're together, Emily?" he practically begged, his hand still clutching hers. "Whatever it is you can trust me with it."

"Worthy," she whispered hoarsely. "When I look at you, when I'm with you… you make me feel worthy. Of friendship. Of love. Only two people have ever made me feel that way. One is dead. And I still carry the guilt of his death around with me. I don't ever want to feel that way about you," she revealed, thrusting the truth out into the open. "I'm so afraid of that."

"I know you're afraid," he accepted her apprehension, welcomed her to speak more about it. But it was clear she wasn't quite there yet. "I know a little something about fear, Emily. I lived with it for a lot of years. Afraid someone, anyone, would find out about what Buford did to me. But I discovered that you can either learn to live with fear, or allow it to eat you up inside. And it will destroy you if you let it," he warned.

Emily struggled with her feelings, struggled between wanting to kiss him and push him away again. She settled for maintaining eye contact. She settled for their hands remaining clasped. "We want different things, Derek. We live and have jobs in different countries. You want marriage and kids…"

"Hold on," he stopped her. "Can we back up a second here. Who said I want kids?"

"It seems pretty obvious," though her voice held a twinge of doubt.

"Have you ever asked me?"

"Well, no," Emily realized she hadn't. "Do you want kids?"

He shrugged and guided her to a spot where the grass was somewhat matted. They sat down together, facing one another. "Honestly," Derek spoke. "I'm not sure if I want kids. There was a time when I did for certain. But the years and the job… they make perspective change. What I've seen Hotch go through. I don't know now if I could do it, even if I married someone who wanted to stay home and raise the little guy."

"Which you assume I don't want?"

Morgan starred at her for a long moment. "Uh, well you did just list it as something I wanted," he pointed out. "Which makes me think it was part of your being different from what I want speech. Or am I wrong?" Derek was confused, but he appreciated he had never asked her the question either. "Do you want kids?"

"I really don't know," she revealed. "I thought I did once and then I was pretty sure I didn't. But talking to your mom made me think… I don't know, maybe. But you're right. I don't see myself as the type to give up my job to raise a kid, which is funny because I always resented my mother for being so career-oriented."

"But you respect her, too," he noted. "You wanted to be like her when you grew up. I can see that. And you are. You help people like she does."

"Doesn't change the fact that I still wish she'd taken time off once in a while to bake cookies with me," Emily expressed. "As much I take pride in my work, I also like to think I'd be the type of mom to bake cookies with our kids."

The smile that formed on his lips was born of an image in his mind, a little girl with her mouth and his eyes. "So now we're having kids?"

Emily threw up her hands. "I don't know," she sighed, but a smile formed on her lips. The sound of the river trickling along beside them filled the air for a short time as they continued to face one another. Emily felt her resolve continue to crumble as his dark eyes regarded her. "Do you know when I first started to fall for you?" she asked, not able to escape the inevitable any longer. She was far too connected to him to let go for good.

"Nope," his head shook a little as he watched her fiddle with the tiles in her hand.

"It was that day at the BAU when I confessed to you about how horrible a blind date of mine had gone," she revealed.

He nodded in remembrance. "Because you'd mentioned Kilgore Trout."

"And you didn't bat an eye," Emily recalled.

"That was a long time ago," Derek realized. "I have to confess that I fell for you a little slower. But the more I got to know you the more I liked. I remember thinking that your family had a lot of power and influence and yet you never used it to get ahead. You had training in Interpol and the CIA and you never used that to prove some sort of superiority over Hotch, Gideon or any of us on the team. You were just Emily, learning the ins and outs of being a profiler. You didn't put on airs."

"Of course I did lie to you by not telling you about Doyle and my time with Interpol."

"True," he acknowledged. "And at first I was angry about that. But mostly it was wounded pride. And as much as I was discussed that you'd allowed Doyle to get so close to you that you fell in love with him..." Morgan sighed. "It also reaffirmed the one thing I find most endearing about you, which is that you try to find the good in everyone."

She smiled. "That's one thing Earthlings might learn to do; if they tried hard enough: Ignore the awful times and concentrate on the good ones."

Listening to her quote Vonnegut as they sat alone in an emerald paradise at sunset made him love her all the more. "Love is where you find it. I think it is foolish to go looking for it."

Emily winced. "You do realize that quote went on to add: I think it can often be poisonous."

He pulled her closer, their foreheads resting against one another as he added, "I urge you to notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, if this isn't nice, I don't know what is," he hoped to make up for the previous quote mishap. In his own words, he whispered, "I like to edit quotes to fit my needs. Bad habit I picked up from my mother. My dad was all the time quoting stuff and she'd inevitably repeat it at some point, altered to fit her requirements."

"I wish I'd been able to see your parents together. I bet they were quit an interesting pair," she remarked.

"Kind of remind me of us, actually," he replied before standing again. He helped her to her feet and stashed the tiles in her sweater pocket. "Dance with me," he offered her his hand.

"Here?" Emily looked over her shoulder, feeling self-conscience even though no one was around. "By the river? With no music?"

"Yes, right here," he insisted as he pulled her close and began to shift his feet in a slow swaying circle. They moved together for a while as the sun continued its gentle decent toward the horizon. "When we danced like this at JJ and Will's wedding there was something I wanted to say to you that I wasn't brave enough to get out," he whispered against her ear.

With her heart in her stomach, Emily asked, "What?"

Derek halted their dance and held her by the waist. "I wanted to ask you if we could dance like this again on our wedding day." Without a second thought he reached into the inside breast pocket of his jacket. Morgan took a deep breath as he pulled free a piece of paper that was rolled tightly and secured by an unlikely object. He went down on one knee and presented the scroll to her.

She could only focus on the ring for a moment. It was simple and delicate, one modest diamond at its center. Emily gulped as she looked down at him. With a not so gallant effort to keep her tears at bay she carefully pulled the rolled paper free. A clap of unexpected thunder rolled overhead. They both laughed for a moment but Emily resumed her mission. She held the beautiful ring in one hand as if it were fragile like glass. Carefully, Emily unbound the page and read it over. It didn't take long, the message being short and to the point.

"This is a letter of resignation?" she looked to Derek again.

"Effective the moment I placed it on Strauss' desk at Quantico this morning," he confirmed. "Or, two mornings ago, maybe?" he'd honestly lost track of time.

"But that job is important to you," both her hands dropped to the side, the letter and even the ring forgotten for the moment. "I don't want you to give that up for me."

He stood again, seeing that she was on the edge of retreat once more. "I would give anything up for you. Anything. But I don't see it as giving something up. You were right, Emily. What you said to me in Alaska a few weeks ago. You can't get yesterday back," he agreed. "But I don't want it. I want today and tomorrow. I want the future with you, however many days we might be blessed with together. The BAU is now my past."

Her mouth opened and closed, wanting to protest further but finding it difficult given the fact he seemed so adamant. "Are you sure?" she dared to hope.

Morgan nodded and grinned, enjoying the fact that she seemed to be coming around to the idea. That's when the sky decided to open up. A trickle of placid rain soon turned into a downpour. But Derek held on to her, not letting the moment go. "My father's death had profound effects on me, deep reaching. I grew up wanting to be just like him, wanting to honor his memory and walk in his footsteps. It's why I joined the force. But after a while I finally realized I was living in the past, living for the wrong reason," he revealed.

"I moved on, took a job with the FBI. I did that for me. Became part of the BAU for me. It was good for me, too. I grew up there. I thrived there. And most importantly, I met you there. And now there's something else I want for myself. You," Derek caressed her rain soaked cheek. "I want my life to be with you, Emily. And I'm ready for that to be in London if you plan to stay here for a while. As for my life being at risk when I'm around you - we've all got to die of something don't we, at some point," he noted.

"You can't keep me safe by pushing me away, Emily. And I have no intention of dying from a broken heart."

She watched the raindrops rolling down his forehead and could only smile. "Who knew you were such a sentimental fool," Emily sniffed.

Derek took the ring from her and went down on his knee again. His pants sloshed in the mud that had quickly formed, but he didn't care. "The first time I asked this question it was a little out of the blue and I didn't have a ring," he held the item up to her. "I think I got it right this time. So, will you marry me, Jo?" he finally asked. "Please don't over think it. Just be honest with yourself and tell me what you feel," he echoed what he'd said much earlier in their conversation.

"I love you," Emily responded without a doubt. "I'm still afraid about all of this, but I'm willing to try."

"Try?" Derek questioned. "I'm not sure if that means yes?" he hinted around for a solid answer.

"Yes," she chuckled.

He guided the ring on to her finger and stood. Then he kissed her as the rain fell harder.

xxx

They were drenched by the time they returned to her room at the Inn.

She pulled the wet sweater off over her head and could not believe what had happened the last hour of her life. But the new ring on her finger snagged on the sweater and made reality a glaringly obvious entity as she struggled to free herself from the tangle. Derek came to her rescue, carefully freeing the ring's hold on the wet wool and guiding her arm and hand out to safety. He tossed her sweater aside and kissed her rain-slick lips.

"We should try…" Emily whispered. "To be quiet," she added as they flopped onto the pristine white comforter-clad bed, eager fingers fumbling with buttons, zippers and clinging wet cloths in between needy kisses. "This place has thin walls," she warned.

Derek felt slightly bad for the mud stains that would likely mar the white comforter due to his dirty pants. "Sorry," he responded. "I can't make any promises to be quiet." His pants were swiftly removed and the comforter also fell to the floor as they shed all unnecessary items before making love for the first time as a newly engaged couple.

Morning came and went as they slept in until after noon the next day.

There'd been a soft knock earlier, probably Marta with an offering of food. But Emily had ignored it and remained snuggled beside Derek. The soiled comforter had been retrieved at some point, adding warmth to the night after the heated bliss of sex had eventually worn off. "Are you really going to live in London with me?" she asked.

"It would be nice to live with my wife," Derek chuckled. "Do you think I'll get an accent?"

Emily's head shook. "Doubtful. Sergio on the other hand, you should hear his London accent."

He rolled over to look at her. "You're joking, right?"

"What, you haven't heard his meow lately?" she kept a straight face for a moment. "Sounds very east end," Emily finally laughed.

His eyes drank her in as he grinned. "Do you have any idea how much I've missed you, crazy lady?"

"Probably as much as I missed you," Emily guessed. "So, what _are_ you going to do in London?

"I plan to get a job," Derek announced as he sat up and leaned against the antique headboard. "And I'm not going to promise it will be a safe job," he gentle relayed the news to her. "I was thinking of some sort of security position, or maybe… Easter actually offered me a job. I'd be based in London, but it would require some travel."

She nodded. "That sounds reasonable. I don't want you sitting at home getting fat on bon bons or trying to potty train Sergio."

Derek's laugh was deep and genuinely amused. He truly had missed her, the old her, the one that seemed to be reemerging. "Did I tell you that Easter was at Tasha's place the other night, past midnight? There was definitely something going on between them, more than just a friend's type of thing if you know what I mean."

"Good for them."

"Yeah?" he was a little surprised by her response, wondering where the cynical part of his lovely fiancé had gone. "You knew about the two of them?"

"No, but I suspected she had someone special in her life. Didn't really think Easter would ever be the type to get serious, though. But I know Tasha would never let him around if he wasn't the kind of guy she wanted Elya to know. He must be Mr. Right," Emily sighed, somewhat disgustedly. "Good lord, would you listen to me. I think you and Tasha are both rubbing off on me. I've never been such a gushy sentimentalist."

"You know, I actually thought maybe you and Easter were together," he confessed.

Emily frowned at him as she pushed the comforter away and got out of bed. "Let us try to forget some of the past, shall we?" she suggested while wrapping a fluffy white cotton robe around her body. "And enjoy the fact that our lives are not currently in danger of any sort and we're going to get married," a smile formed as she spoke the last word.

He donned a similar robe and pecked her on the lips. "We have been rubbing off on you," he grinned proudly. "But don't lose too much of your signature Emily Prentiss flare."

"Promise," she agreed as a knock sounded from outside their room.

The door creaked open and Marta stuck her head in. "I don't mean to intrude," the older woman said. "But I worry like mother's do. You two have been sleeping for a while."

A slight blush came to Emily's cheeks as she nodded. "Yep, needed some extra sleep," she watched as the woman nodded knowingly. Marta was not so old that she didn't suspect more than sleep had occurred in her finest room at the Inn.

"I brought you something to eat, tea and scones," Marta said as she placed them on a small round table near the large bay window.

"Looks like you brought something else," Derek said as he spotted the little girl standing in the doorway. "That can't possibly be Nara," he remarked, watching as her little sock covered feet moved swiftly into the room to where Emily was. The child was much steadier on her feet than the last time he'd seen her. "She's gotten so big."

Emily scooped little Nara up and placed her on one hip. "Tell Derek he should visit more often, Nara," she spoke to the child in a soft voice.

"Em, em, em, em…" Nara excitedly jabbered as she patted Emily's cheek.

"She certainly seems to know you," Derek noticed. "You visit often?"

"On weekends when I can," Emily nodded.

"I'll take her," Marta offered. "Get her out of your way."

"That's okay," Emily waved the woman off. "It's nearly lunch time, I know you get busy. I can watch Nara for a few hours," she offered.

Marta kissed Emily's cheek. "You're a dream, luv," she kissed Nara as well and then ducked out of the room.

Derek followed Emily and Nara to the table. He sat and sipped tea, watching as Emily and Nara seemed to speak a language only the two of them understood for a few minutes. He knew she was worried about having kids of her own, but watching her with Nara made him confident she'd be great at it if they ever did decide to take that plunge.

"Spending time with Nara helps ease Laren's loss a little," Emily finally spoke to him again as she nibbled on a scone and gave a small piece to Nara. "When I see Nara's sweet smile I remember that a part of Laren is still alive and well. As cheesy as that seems."

"Pretty cheesy," he nodded in agreement. "But true."

The old squeaky door opened again and Emily looked up, expecting Marta to have brought some of Nara's toys or more food. Instead she spied a young man she didn't recognize. "Can I help you?" Emily kept Nara at her hip as she stood.

Morgan turned and stood as well.

"Maybe you can help me," the boy replied, stepping further into the room.

"How?" Derek asked as he took a step forward, blocking Emily and Nara as much as he could. He didn't like the way the youngster had closed the door and was standing against it as if blocking their way out. He also didn't care for the dangerous look in his eyes.

Keeping the girl in her arms as close as possible, Emily allowed Derek's protection. But she tried to appeal to the boy. "What's your name, buddy?"

"Grant," he said as he reached for something at his back.

Derek swore softly beneath his breath as he recognized the dull gray steel of a nine millimeter pistol. "Listen to me, son," he put both hands up for the kid to see he was unarmed. "I don't know what kind of trouble you're in or who you're running from but you need to put that gun down. Okay?"

"I'm not your son. I have… _had_ a father. And I'm not running from anything. I'm here to make sure the truth is known, to make sure you understand how serious I am," Grant said, his voice a little shaky and his eyes darting from Emily to Derek, back and forth several times. "I know who you are," he pointed the gun at them as he spoke. "Derek Morgan and Emily Prentiss," he declared. "I've seen you on the Internet and TV news. You're both responsible for my father's death."

Emily didn't even need to ask. Her stomach tightened with realization. She could see it in the boy's eyes, the same green as Nara's. "Edward Ziven was your father."

The young man nodded as he kept the gun aimed at them.

Morgan guessed the boy to be no more than fourteen or fifteen years old. He was still just a child in so many ways. But Derek had seen plenty of kids do horrible things at ages even younger. His years of experience were screaming at him to be extremely cautious. He reached for Emily, took her hand. "And you were just saying something about our lives not being in danger," he whispered to her.

She bit her lip nervously.

He squeezed her hand, the one with her new ring. "Remember, you already agreed to marry me. No backing out now."

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	52. Cake

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

**This is for Lena-F, and anyone else who might still be interested in the Pact/Foster Parent series...**

* * *

><p><strong>Cake<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>Sergio jumped off the counter and zipped through the kitchen. Kate's eyes lit up. Zach stood and glanced at the door.<p>

Carly even seemed to be interested when the front door opened and closed. But she hung back with Emily, holding on to Emily's leg as the woman tried to move from the stove to the sink. They remained in the kitchen as Zach and Kate went to the door to welcome him. Derek did not disappoint as he greeted the children. He lifted Kate into his arms and she latched to him, legs about his waist and arms at his neck. Zach was given a quick hug before they shared some fist-bump handshake.

As they entered the kitchen, Emily watched the three of them interact.

It was clear the older kids adored him. And after so many days away on a case they were obviously thrilled to have him back.

"I knew you'd make it home in time," Zach said as he stood by the counter and watched Derek move toward Emily.

"Told you I wouldn't miss it, didn't I?" Morgan smiled as he kissed Kate's cheek and sat her on the counter. His focus shifted to Emily and the small mouse attached to her leg. "Hiya, Carly," he spoke softly to the girl. Derek was heartened by the fact that she looked up at him at the sound of his voice and mention of her name. But she buried herself against Emily again a second later. He concentrated his efforts on the beautiful woman instead. "Missed you," he whispered, initiating a hug.

She pushed against his chest. "Derek, I'm…" Emily's hands waved down her apron-clad front. "Covered in flour and…"

He didn't seem to mind as he leaned in to kiss her. But that action was cut short as well and Derek took a step back to regard her for a moment. "Did you miss me?"

"Sure," Emily skirted past him and began to wash carrots in the sink. "Don't I always?"

Somewhat dismissed, Derek did his best to squash the petty feeling. "Looks like dinner is nearly done," he glanced at the casserole on the counter and the salad in progress. Derek turned to Zach. "Why don't you take the girls and get washed up," he suggested.

The boy nodded, knowing the order was mostly dismissive to get the kids out of the room.

When they were gone, Morgan halted Emily's washing efforts. "What's up?" he asked, turning her to face him. "You seem a little upset, or something?"

"Why would I be upset?" she shrugged, trying to turn away again.

Derek held her still, both hands at her waist though he could feel her tugging against his hold. "Emily, look at me please," he encouraged. When she did he could see the slightly dark circles beneath her eyes and a general weariness in her stance. "You okay?"

"I'm just tired," she confirmed, caving a little to his presence as she leaned against the warmth and strength of his hands. "This party tomorrow means I've been cleaning house all week, buying paper plates, streamers, balloons and plastic forks at an alarming rate. And I still have a cake to bake tonight after the kids have gone to bed. I'm guessing some of that is making me tired and cranky and it could also be due to PM…" Emily stalled in the middle of that thought.

He smiled as she trailed off. "You know you can talk about PMS around me," Derek assured her. "Why don't I go out tomorrow morning and buy a cake? And some chocolate milk," Derek suggested. "Seriously, I'll take the kids with me. Zach can even pick out what cake he wants. I don't want you to be this stressed out about a birthday party."

Emily sighed and pushed past him again to resume her salad preparation. She grated the carrots with swift motions. "Tomorrow is Zach's thirteenth birthday, he's about to turn into an official teenager. And it's his first birthday without his mom, his first real celebration of any sort since his parents died. Don't you think it's going to be a bit of a rough day for him?"

"Yes, of course it will be," Derek agreed. "But I don't see how a cake that's homemade is going to help him through the day any better than a store bought cake would."

"You wouldn't take all the kids, anyway," she argued. "Carly won't get in a car with you, not unless I'm with her. And why do you suppose that is? Maybe because you're not around long enough for her to get used to you being around," her voice rose a little. "And a store bought cake is just too easy and…"

"You're putting way too much significance into a cake, Emily," he stopped her before she could go off any further. Derek did his best to forget her words about Carly and him, trying to push aside the fact that they sounded a lot like an insult. "The more important thing is his main present. Have you thought any more about what we talked about last week, the dog named Charlie that Kate is determined to slip in to our lives?"

She scooped up the pile of grated carrots and plunked them onto the salad. "I don't know, Derek. He hasn't been too responsive about the topic of Clooney and any new dog entering his life. And I already have three kids and a cat to take care of."

"But the whole point of a dog is to help Zach regain the sense of responsibility he had with Clooney. And the friendship," Morgan pointed out. "No offence to you or the girls, but in case you haven't noticed, this place is crawling with female hormones."

"Did you really just say that?" Emily harrumphed as she pulled a cookbook from the shelf and began to search for a chocolate cake recipe.

Derek shook his head at her. "Come on; don't get all defensive on me. I was just stating a fact. Guys need guy time."

"A rather sexist fact," she grumbled while flipping more pages in the recipe book.

Morgan leaned against the counter beside her and caressed her forearm. "You're more uptight than you were three weeks ago when I finally got you to take a break. What's up?"

"Nothing," Emily shrugged off his touch, staring down at the chocolate cake ingredients. Derek stopped her by closing the book and she looked up at him with a glare. "I was…" she shook her head, seeing that he was not going to let her off so easily. "Maybe I'm not so pleased that I've seen you a grand total of three days in the last two weeks. Or the fact that Carly has been sleeping with me most nights because she's really not too keen on the new bunk bed sleeping situation in her room. And she kicks in her sleep."

He drew her in for another hug. "You should insist she sleep in her own bed."

"Really?" Emily pushed him away again. "Why didn't I think of that brilliant idea," she moved the salad to the dining room table that was already set.

Morgan carried the casserole over. "I just spent the last three days with the team, Emily," he wasn't done yet. "All of us working our asses off to catch a molesting, murdering bastard, trying our best to get back before Zach's birthday, which we did," Derek noted poignantly. "And the last thing I want to do right now is fight with you."

"Fine, why don't you just eat dinner and then go to bed," Emily suggested. "I'm sure you're tired, so I'll bake the cake I want to give Zach for his birthday and I'll clean it up and…"

"Fine," he didn't let her go on. "Sounds like a great plan," Derek huffed as he sat down at the table.

She was about to fire back, but the kids entered the dining room and all conversation came to an abrupt halt.

xxx

Derek saw the light on from beneath the door and knocked lightly before entering.

He spotted the boy reading a book by the glow of his bedside lamp. Zach was in his pajamas and under the covers but clearly not asleep. "Hey," Derek announced himself and stepped further into the small bedroom. "It's almost ten thirty, should've had lights out about an hour ago. Right?"

Zach looked up, keeping the spot in his book via two fingers. "Sorry, it's just a really good part and…" he smiled. "Sorry. I'll put it down now."

Morgan grinned. "I'll forgive you this time," he said. "Since it's your birthday eve and all. Night, youngster."

The boy called out before Derek could reach the door, "Are you and Emily going to break up?"

Turning around and resuming his perch on the bed, Derek spoke gently, "Why would you ask that?"

"I heard you fighting earlier," he gave the simplest answer possible, the truth.

A heavy sigh escaped Morgan's lips. "Yeah, I'm sorry about that, pal," Derek felt bad about the fight. He and Emily hadn't spoken much during dinner and they'd said even less to each other the rest of the evening as they'd cleaned up the kitchen, helped Zach with a weekend homework project, and then wrestled the younger two into pajamas and read several stories before tucking time. "It was just a fight."

"But I've never heard you fight before," Zach mentioned. "It's been months since I moved in and not once have you fought. You kind of disagreed about bringing Kate to live here but even that wasn't really a fight." A quiet spell fell between them for a few moments. "I know sometimes I make faces and stuff when you and Emily kiss or hug, but… well, my parents never did that sort of stuff. I think that means you and Emily really love each other. Don't you?"

"Very much," Derek didn't hesitate to confirm. "But, Zach, you gotta understand that couples fight. Even Emily and I are going to fight sometimes. Our fighting doesn't mean we're going to split up. We'll make up soon enough. So you don't need to worry about what would happen or where you'd go if we did break up," he knowingly calmed the boy's fears. "Emily and I have made a commitment to you, Kate and Carly. You're staying here with us. You got it?"

Zach smiled as he nodded. "Got it."

"Okay," Derek patted the boy's leg and stood again. "Now get some sleep. Tomorrow you'll be a teenager. That's a big day."

xxx

He woke to an empty bed.

Morgan wasn't even sure if Emily had made it to bed last night or if she'd stayed up baking a cake. He could certainly smell the chocolaty item as he entered the kitchen. It was in a rectangular pan chilling on a wire rack on the counter. But he didn't see Emily anywhere in the vicinity. He poked his head into the living room and didn't find her there either. Nor did he discover any evidence that she'd slept on the sofa. "How tired was I last night?" he wondered aloud as he searched the rest of the house.

He'd been absolutely exhausted after the three day case. "But I bet you're far more tired," he whispered, thinking about Emily home alone with three young kids.

The front door opened and closed just as he approached it. Emily entered with about six shopping bags. "Hi," Derek greeted her and took three of the bags.

"You're awake," was all she said.

"I was a little worried about you," he said as they deposited the bags on the kitchen counters. "You didn't leave a note. I thought maybe you'd given up on me for good and took off for Europe or other parts unknown," he tried to make light of their fight.

She began to unload ice cream, paper plates and store bought frosting. "You could've tried my cell."

Derek sighed, sensing that she was still upset. He tried to move in a little closer to kiss her. "Did you sleep last night?"

"Just a little," she side-stepped his efforts, "I have a cake to frost. I made it early this morning, but I settled for pre-made frosting even though it has a heck of a lot worse ingredients than homemade. But…"

He stopped her, took both her hands in his and gently forced her to face him. "The frosting is going to be fine," Derek assured her. "Just the same as a store bought cake would've been," he drew her in and was glad when she relaxed against his chest, head rested on his shoulder. "I know you work your butt off for these kids, Emily. They'll thank you for it someday when they're old enough to realize what a good mom you've been."

"I'm not doing it for thanks," she looked up at him and they shared a brief kiss. "I hate that I complain about it, about the kids stressing me out and you being gone a lot. I thought I was over all of that. And I'm not a complainer, I never have been. I love them and I love you, I just never thought it would be so much work," Emily confessed.

"Everyone has the right to complain about their life once in a while. You gotta let off some steam or you'll boil over," Derek teased.

Her eyes rolled. "Did you really just compare me to a pot of water?"

Morgan chuckled and kissed her forehead. "Maybe you need more breaks," he suggested.

"Like more spa days?" she inquired with a note of intrigue.

"Sure, that," Derek nodded. "But maybe we could get a babysitter once in a while and go out on a date, just the two of us. I think Carly will be okay as long as Zach and Kate are here too. We could ask Garcia, or maybe JJ and Henry could come over and hang out with them. And maybe we could do some sort of family trip," he added to the idea list. "I was actually thinking a campout could be fun for the kids and we'd get away from the city and the house and…"

"And what about Sergio and this new dog we're getting?" Emily questioned.

Morgan smiled. "So, we're getting the dog?"

She stepped away and lightly slapped his shoulder. "Of course we are, but you already knew that," Emily went about unloading the rest of the groceries. "I know you and Kate have had this planned for a while now. It's okay. What's one more animal thrown into the fray," she threw her hands up in exaggeration.

He snuggled her from behind, chin on her shoulder. "You're the best, Em."

"I know," she agreed.

xxx

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you… happy birthday, dear Zach…"

He listened as Derek and Emily, Kate, all of the BAU team, Jack and Henry sang to him. Carly sat on the stairs behind them, a little afraid of the singing. Zach felt kind of bad for the youngest girl he'd come to think of as his sister. He also felt rather shy about having so many people sing to him. His previous birthdays had always been just him and his mom, occasionally his dad too. He'd never had a real party.

Emily gently squeezed his shoulder and smiled down at him. "Make a wish, buddy," she nodded toward the thirteen colorful, flickering candles.

Zach had barely blown out his candles when Kate appeared beside him, a leash in her left hand that led to a red collar around the neck of a chocolate Labrador. "Charlie?" Zach recognized the dog from the shelter where they'd first met Kate.

"He's not such a puppy any more, is he?" Kate beamed as she handed the leash to him. "He's my birthday present to you."

The boy wore a surprised face for a moment before he stood and shook his head. "I don't want another dog," he declared as everyone watched. "You can't replace Clooney," his voice slightly raised. "Why would you give me a dog?"

Kate's smile faltered. "Zach, I just…"

"I don't want him!" the boy shouted before he dashed out of the room.

Derek winced as Emily starred at him with worry clouding her dark eyes. "I'll go talk to him," he suggested.

"No," Kate gripped Charlie's leash a little tighter. "I want to talk to him," the girl declared as she headed for the stairs with the dog at her side. Her fragile legs climbed slowly and Charlie stayed right there with her, not running ahead. Kate found Zach in his room, seated on his bed and thumbing through a book. "I'm sorry about the surprise," Kate said as she entered his room. "Maybe I should've prepared you."

He turned toward her, not able to stay mad. "I didn't mean to get upset at you, Kate. I just…"

"You miss Clooney and you think Charlie is a replacement," Kate guessed. She aimed her eyes on the dog and pointed at him. "Sit, Charlie," she instructed. The dog did as she said and she gave him a loving pat on the head as a reward. His tail flopped happily back and forth against the carpeted floor. "Good boy," Kate praised. "I taught him that command," she told Zach. "I taught him a few things, but he needs someone to train him properly. I think you'd be real good at it."

"But I know you're the one who wants Charlie," he spoke to her, tossing the book onto his bed.

She shrugged. "I kind of did. But I can't take a dog for walks. I'm too small and weak right now. And odds are I'm not going to be alive long enough to take care of him properly."

"Don't say that, Kate," Zach insisted. "You will be."

"Well, if I am and if I'm going to take care of Charlie on my own someday it's going to be a while. So I need someone to take care of him for me now. He can't stay in the shelter any longer, so he should stay here, right?" she didn't wait for an answer. "Emily and Derek are too busy and Carly's even littler than me. So that leaves you."

Zach cracked a small smile as he crouched down next to Kate and the dog. "Hiya, Charlie," he pet the dog. "Remember me?"

Charlie gave a soft bark of recognition and then nuzzled the boy's hand. He sniffed it and licked it. Then he stared Zach in the eye. "Well," the boy caved. "I guess I could help train him for you. And make sure he gets exercised and stuff."

Kate grinned. "Good. Now can we go eat some cake? Emily said I could have a small piece."

He nodded and the two of them descended the stairs together with Zack holding Charlie's leash.

Emily smiled as she felt Derek's arm circle her. "Guess I was right," he whispered.

She rolled her eyes at him but smiled. "It was bound to happen once."

Their party continued a few more hours before everyone cleared out. Zach and Kate helped clean up while Carly hung on the fringes as she had for most of the day. She picked up a balloon and examined it for a moment. When she tried to squeeze the object it slipped out of her grip and sailed across the room. Derek noticed and gently tapped the balloon so it floated back to her. Carly was a little shocked by the action at first but when the balloon got close she hit it toward Derek.

Morgan sent it back to her again and delighted in the way she kept the game going for several more turns.

At one point the balloon skipped out of Carly and Derek's range. Zach stepped in and swatted it down before it could hit the ceiling. "Nice shot, my man," Morgan admired the boy's quick move. "You ever thought about basketball?"

"Maybe," Zach shrugged uncertainly.

"You're definitely gaining some height, how tall are you?" he asked. The boy shrugged again and Morgan got an idea. "Come on, youngster," Derek stopped to grab a pencil from the kitchen drawer before directing Zach down the hall.

Emily and Kate had been silently watching the balloon game and now followed the two guys to find out what was going on. Carly ended up outside the laundry room as well, somewhat curious. Derek pushed the door into the room and backed Zach against it. He marked his height with the pencil and added age and the date of his birthday. "What are you doing to my laundry room, Derek?" Emily finally asked.

"I almost forgot this was a tradition in the Morgan family," Derek replied before he edged toward the hall. "Hold on a sec," he dashed out and returned within a minute with a tape measure. Derek used it to mark Zach's height in feet and inches. "My dad started this tradition where he'd measure us kids every year on our birthdays. We didn't have a laundry room, though. We used the pantry door."

"Really?" Zach asked as he checked out his height. "Five feet, six inches," he admired.

"Lot taller than I was at your age," Derek noted. "Mama continued the tradition and still has our height door. I'll show it to you sometime."

"In Chicago?" Zach asked. He was the only one of the kids who'd met Derek's mother. Their very first meeting hadn't gone so well since he'd nearly run her over in a hospital parking garage. But she'd easily rooted herself into his life. And he liked her a lot. "We could go to Illinois with you someday?"

Morgan nodded. "Sure, don't see why not. Start saving your pennies," he chuckled.

"I could get a job," Zach jumped at the idea. "I'm a hard worker."

"I was just playing with you," Derek responded. "But I could teach you some things about construction if you want. I've still got that loft downtown that needs some renovating."

"Okay," the teenager seemed genuinely interested.

Emily watched their interaction with a happy heart. She also felt regret pool in her stomach. "Zach, how about your first job being to help Kate and Carly get ready for bed. Please?"

"Sure," Zach readily ushered the girl's out of the room.

With the kids absent, Emily went to Derek. She pressed her body against his, enjoying the rare moment of closeness. "I'm sorry," she apologized with a gentle kiss to his lips. "I'm so sorry for what I said about you and Carly yesterday. It was completely uncalled for. Watching you with the kids last night and today, I've noticed how much effort you put into this family when you're here. You and Zach have really got a connection going these days. And that little balloon game with Carly is quite a big step in your relationship."

"I do the best I can in a short amount of time," Derek pushed her against the nearest lavender wall and kissed her again.

"Yes, you do," she agreed. Emily felt her body relax further. "Although, I really do hope what we're about to do is not part of your short time definition," she groaned appreciatively as he kissed her a third time. "But maybe, uh… we should close the door."

"Maybe we should," Derek kissed her neck, her ear lobe and her shoulder. "We certainly have made a lot of good memories in this laundry room or ours."

"Let's keep working on that tradition," she insisted.

xxx

Thankfully, the kids had not bothered them in the laundry room.

After a quick shower they decided to divide and conquer the bedtime routine. Emily took on the girls, knowing that an endless stream of book reading lay ahead of her, probably until her eyes blurred. Derek headed to Zach's room. The first sight that greeted him was Charlie's big puppy body curled up on the end of Zach's bed. Derek sat next to the dog and gave the relaxed canine a gentle pat and scratch behind the ear. "Did you have a good day?" he directed his question to the boy.

"I did," Zach smiled more confidently than normal. "But it wasn't because of the cake or the party, or even Charlie," he noted meaningfully. "It was because you and Emily made so much effort to make it special for me. I know you wanted it to be memorable," he easily guessed. "And it was. I really do love Charlie, too. I know Kate kind of lied to get me to warm to him, but I'm glad she did it."

"You're a smart kid," Morgan leaned in and kissed the boy's forehead. As he stood he could see that Zach looked a little confused. "You okay?"

Zach shrugged. "I… well, my dad… he never… uh…"

"What is it?" Derek pressed, surprised that mention of his parent's hadn't come up yet during his birthday celebrations. "You can tell me."

A soft, but confident, nod was given before the teenager could think of what to say. "I know that some dads kiss their kids. I've seen it on TV and movies, read it in books. I've even seen some kids at school get dropped off and their dads kiss them. Well, you know, not teenagers. But, my dad… he never…"

"Never kissed you?" Morgan guessed. "I'm sorry, pal. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable."

"You didn't," Zach was quick to assure. "It's okay. I think… you love me more than my own dad ever did."

That thought crushed Derek a little. It also made him proud. In not so many words Zach had just likened him to a father; a good father. "I do love you, Zach. I know we didn't exactly come to know each other in the best of circumstances," he recalled. "But I hope you know I've come to think of you as my son. I hope that's okay?"

"Do you think maybe you and me could take Charlie for a walk tomorrow morning?" Zach asked in response. "Just us guys?"

Morgan nodded, knowing it was the boy's manner of saying it was okay. "Sure thing, youngster," he agreed.

Zach smiled as he grabbed the book on his night stand. "Can I read for a while? It is still my birthday," he did his best to milk the occasion.

"Yeah, I think…" Derek's cell rang and he cringed, fearing the worst. Sure enough, when he looked at the screen and saw Garcia's face he knew he wouldn't be able to fight the inevitable. After a very brief conversation he faced Zach again with regret in his heart. "Pal, I'm sorry. I…"

"Have a case," Zach guessed. "It's okay. We can go for a walk another time."

"That's a promise," Morgan agreed. He met Emily in the hall and the look on her face let him know she'd heard the ringing of his cell. "Got a case," he shrugged apologetically. "I need to head out right now. Two murders in Tulsa in two weeks," he spoke softly so as not to be overheard by the kids.

She sighed. "I was actually looking forward to sleeping next to you tonight." Emily bit her lip. "We'll be here when you get back," she bravely added.

xxx

An hour later Emily sat on her bed with Sergio, feeling more than a little lonely. The ringing of her cell was actually a welcome distraction.

Seeing that it was Derek caused her a bit of worry. "I thought you were headed out on a case," she answered the phone.

"I'm the first one on the jet," Derek replied. "Just wanted to hear your voice again before we… okay that's not entirely true. I mean, it is, but," he sighed. "Emily, tonight in the laundry room was great and all but I still feel like maybe something's not entirely all right with us. You sure there's not something else going on I should know about?"

"Positive," Emily let the word out with as much sincerity as she could muster. Silence filled the line for a moment until she could hear Hotch and Rossi talking in the background. "Sounds like the team's there," she noted. "You need to go. I love you."

"Love you, too," Derek signed off.

Emily hung up the phone and glanced at the small plastic stick in her hand. "Oh, I'm positive all right," she sighed as the pink plus sign stared back at her.

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	53. Camp

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

Disclaimer II: I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV. All medical stuff in this chapter is from a small bit of internet research I did.

**I really did not think many people were still interested in the Pact/Foster series, guess I was wrong.  
>Thank you all very much for your comments. Here is a little bit more for now...<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Camp<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>Emily tapped her foot against the tiled floor of the doctor's office.<p>

"Maybe I should just go ahead and tell you what I know," the man on the other side of the desk offered. "Or we could reschedule this appointment at a time that's more convenient for your husband?" he offered.

She didn't bother to correct the doctor about Derek not being her husband. It didn't seem very important to the matter at hand. "No, please. Just give him another few minutes. He'll be here," Emily spoke with confidence. "He promised," her tone turned a bit wistful.

There was a gentle knock on the door and a nurse opened it. "I'm sorry to interrupt, Dr. Bauer, but the kids are getting a little antsy out here."

"I'll talk to them," Emily offered as she stood and eyed the doctor. "Just a few more minutes?" she asked again.

He nodded with a warm smile.

In the medical center waiting room, Emily found Zach with his nose in a book. Kate had a jumble of yarn on her lap, her newest sedentary hobby of learning to knit in full swing. Neither of them looked at all antsy as the nurse had reported. But as Emily glanced around the waiting area her heart leapt into her throat. "Where's Carly?" she asked.

Zach didn't seem worried. He simply pointed down.

The girl was curled up beneath Zach's chair, her back pressed against the wall. "Why'd you let her down there?" Emily was not amused by the child's regressive behavior. Carly had been doing great the last few weeks at home and even marginally better in public. But Emily knew it wasn't Zach's responsibility to watch the girl at all times and she felt a little guilty for making her question sound accusatory.

He didn't appear upset. "I think it's the doctor's office," Zach replied with a shrug. "She's probably having flashbacks from her time at that mean psychologist's office. I tried to talk her out, but she seems content there, and I figured you'd get her out when it was time to leave," he concluded.

"Smart boy," Emily admired his simple observations and logic.

"Hey, can we get something from the vending machine? I'm hungry," he easily transitioned to his own needs.

On her hands and knees, Emily made eye contact with Carly. "Yeah," she spoke to Zach. "Grab my purse, and try to find something healthy. Derek said he was taking us somewhere after this meeting. My guess is to lunch." She smiled as Carly reached for her. "Come on out of there, mouse," Emily coaxed.

Carly crawled out and latched on to Emily.

She stood with Carly on her hip and guessed the girl would need to sit in on the meeting with them, if Derek ever showed up.

"I am so sorry," Morgan's voice echoed down the hall as he approached. Derek patted Zach's shoulder as he passed the boy by the vending machine. He greeted Emily with gritted teeth, noticing the frown marring her pretty face. "There was a head-on collision in the south-bound lanes and of course everyone feels the need to slow down and have a look," he sighed, taking her hand and squeezing it. "Is Dr. Bauer still available?"

"If we hurry," Emily contemplated what to do with Carly for a split second.

"I have peanut butter crackers," Zach brandished three packs of them as he re-joined Kate.

Emily sat Carly down between the two older kids and handed her a pack of crackers even knowing they weren't very healthy. "You're safe here, mouse," she assured the child. "I want you to stay next to Zach and eat your crackers, okay," Emily instructed. "Please try to keep her on top of the chair?" she gently asked of Zach.

He nodded and Emily was satisfied for the moment as she directed Derek to the office.

Dr. Bauer stood as they entered and he shook Derek's hand. "Mr. Prentiss, glad you could make it."

"It's Morgan, actually," Derek glanced at Emily with questioning eyes.

She shrugged and the three of them sat. Dr. Bauer opened the file in front of him. "Well, as you know, I examined Kate on Monday and have spent the past few days going over her medical history. We're here today to talk about that and further treatment for her condition."

"She needs a heart transplant, right?" Morgan asked.

"No, actually she doesn't," Dr. Bauer replied.

Both Derek and Emily sat there for a moment, shocked silent. "But we thought…" Emily didn't really know what to think. She'd roped Garcia into helping her track down the best pediatric cardiologist on the east coast with her swift computer search skills. And they'd found him in their own backyard. But she hadn't been expecting those words to leave his lips.

"You're Kate's foster parents, as I understand it?" the doctor asked for clarification and received two nods. "So can I venture to guess that you've only had her in your custody for a relatively short time?" he further prodded. When they nodded again he continued. "Unfortunately, I have reason to believe your daughter has been the victim of a crime."

"What the heck does that mean?" Morgan was instantly upset.

Emily held a hand to his arm in an attempt to calm him, but she was pretty riled herself. "Can you explain?"

The man wore a compassionate expression as he went on. "Kate has a ventricular septal defect. It's serious if not fixed, but it is not heart failure. I'm sure she's been experiencing some considerable difficulties given the size of her defect and the fact that it's gone so long without being properly repaired. Most VSD's of Kate's size are properly detected and surgically repaired much earlier in a child's life," he explained.

"Kate has had three surgeries, hasn't she?" Emily began to question everything she'd been previously told. "If that's the case, why wasn't it fixed? And why are we all under the impression that she needs a new heart?"

"The VSD in Kate's heart is a rather large hole in her left ventricle which is allowing blood to pass into the right ventricle and also out into the lung arteries," he explained some of the basics first. "That means the heart and lungs are working a lot harder. It's also what is causing her recurrent lung congestion. VSD's are not uncommon. Normally something like this is caught within the first few months after being born, which it was for Kate. The surgery to repair the defect is serious, but it's performed often, usually with favorable results."

"So for some reason Kate's wasn't repaired with three surgeries?" Derek asked, doing his best to digest the news. "Is her defect more serious than usual?"

"Unfortunately, her surgeons are likely to blame for the lack of a fix," Dr. Bauer sighed with regret. "Two different surgeons performed Kate's operations - both of them from the same medical complex. They're also the ones who then claimed she was in heart failure. I learned a few weeks ago that this very same medical complex has recently become embroiled in a lawsuit for unethical surgeries performed for the sake of garnering insurance money," he revealed.

Derek was beyond shocked. "Kate is a foster kid, how could they make much off her?"

"Kate's insurance under the district for being a foster child is minimal," Dr. Bauer agreed. "But enough that they were able to make a small chunk of money off her surgeries. That's how they work, even the smallest bit of monetary gain helps build their unethical empire."

"Son of a…" Morgan's hands balled into fists. "And they got away with it."

"Because she's a foster kid," Emily guessed. "Mrs. Denton is overworked as it is," she didn't blame the foster system, and certainly not Mrs. Denton who had been so kind to them. But she was pissed off at the surgeons who had needlessly cut up Kate. Emily reached over to take one of Derek's hands, hoping to calm him down, and console herself. "So what did they do exactly, during those surgeries?" she inquired.

"Judging from Kate's scar tissue I'd say they at least attempted to repair the defect once," the cardiologist explained. "But it seems likely that those other two surgeries were a smoke screen. I doubt they even bothered to fix the defect and only cut her open to make it look like they'd done their job."

Derek's head shook. "Unbelievable."

"It is a crime, more often seen perpetrated against the elderly, but no one is immune to their treachery," Dr. Bauer repeated his earlier sentiment. "However, what we need to do now is concentrate on actually helping Kate live a normal healthy life, which I believe is entirely possible. That will entail another surgery, but I have faith that I can correct Kate's VSD in one procedure, the procedure that should've been done right the first time."

"When?" Emily asked.

"How soon?" Derek said at the same time.

The doctor smiled, able to tell how much they truly cared for their new foster child. "I'd like to perform the procedure as soon as possible. With my schedule that means not until the end of October; day before Halloween, actually," he conveyed.

"Two months?" Emily was shocked. "Are you kidding? I figured it would be a lot longer wait."

Derek was still feeling apprehensive. "And she'll be okay after this procedure?"

Dr. Bauer nodded reassuringly. "There's always risk with surgery of this sort, but I honestly believe I can have Kate through this surgery and up and running around in about six months, maybe a little longer, maybe less. In just the short time I spent with her the other day I was able to see what a strong spirit she has and I'd like to help her express that physically as well. But, given all that's happened to Kate, I'll understand if you want a second or even third opinion."

Emily and Derek shared a quick glance and agreed immediately. "No, we want you to do the surgery," Emily spoke for both of them. "Can you answer a question for me?"

"Certainly," the doctor offered.

"If Kate isn't experiencing heart failure then why is she so frail, so weak most of the time?" Emily was curious. "Is there something else wrong, or does this defect have similar effects?"

The man leaned forward at his desk. "Kate's condition is likely responsible for some of her fatigue, but a lot of kids with this defect still live relatively normal with it. I'd venture to say that her failure to thrive condition stems more from the environment in which she's grown up. Not to say that foster care is the culprit here. But in Kate's case, she was diagnosed with a heart condition which has meant no parents, foster or adoptive, ever dared to take her on. And she's essentially been told all of her life that she's sick and will likely die."

"So you think a lot of her symptoms are psychological," Derek guessed, knowing it made sense.

"Children learn by what they're shown and told," Dr. Bauer agreed. "Kate has obviously been able to fight through a lot of it, which is very commendable. A weaker spirit may have given up all together by now."

That thought broke Emily's heart more than anything.

Dr. Bauer stood and shook their hands again as he moved toward the door. "My assistant will schedule Kate's surgery. If you'll excuse me I'm a little late for my next appointment. Feel free to use the office for a while if you need."

"I'm sorry for making you late," Derek apologized to the kind doctor.

The other man smiled again. "It's okay, I'm just glad I was able to deliver the good news."

They remained seated as the doctor left and Emily realized she was still gripping Derek's hand tightly. "Hi," she flashed him a smile. "I haven't seen you in several days."

"Hello to you," Derek leaned over and kissed her.

"Did that really just happen?" she asked. "We should tell Kate, right?" her lips curled into a happier smile. "She'll be excited, I think. I hope. Jeez, she's spent so much of her life thinking she was going to die and now…"

Morgan squeezed her hand reassuringly. "I have an idea. Let's not tell her just yet," he suggested. "Remember I said I had a plan for today after we left this appointment?"

"Yes?" Emily tried to sniff out more of an explanation.

"We're going camping," he revealed. "I thought about doing it in September but then I remembered Zach starts school in a week so we should go now."

"Derek, I…" she was fine with a camping outing, even a surprise one. But she bit her lip as she allowed herself to think about the pregnancy test she'd taken four days ago and the doctor's confirmation she'd received yesterday. "I really need to talk to you about something."

"What's that? You don't want to camp? You hate the idea?" he asked.

"No, camping sounds good," Emily assured. "Although, I have nothing packed or planned. Do you even own a tent?"

"You don't have to worry about any of that. I had Garcia help me order some camp equipment. It was delivered to the office yesterday," he explained. "When we get home Zach and I will pack everything else we might need. Then we'll grab a bunch of hotdogs and marshmallows at the store and be on the road in no time. You just have to relax," Derek said.

Emily sighed, "Easier said than done."

"I talked to Hotch about the time off and I'm cleared for the next five days," he continued excitedly. "We have reservations at James River State Park, which is about a three hour drive from here. If we head home now, pack up and take off right away we can be there by dinner. And we can tell Kate the good news there."

She smiled to see how enthusiastic he was about it. "I think she'll like that. And Zach will love camping. Carly…"

"Carly will be fine," he supplied. "She'll have free reign of the great outdoors; animals, grass, river, and sleeping outside in a tent. It's gonna be great," Derek was confident. He finally took a moment to regard her and remembered she'd wanted to talk. "I'm sorry. You said you had something to tell me?"

"Just…" Emily promptly chickened out. "I'm really hungry. If we can stop for lunch on the way home before packing I'll be good to go."

"You got it," he agreed.

xxx

"Come on vamonos,

Everybody let's go.

Come on let's get to it,

I know that we can do it."

It was two hours in to their drive when Derek and Emily laughed as the three kids in the backseat decided singing to pass the time was a good idea.

"Where are we going?

Mos Eisley!

Where are we going?

To the cantina!"

Morgan glanced at Emily, still keeping his eyes mainly on the road. "Are those Star Wars references mingled in with that Dora the Explorer song?" he asked with amused curiosity. "They never even finished watching that movie when I exposed them to it a few weeks ago."

"They were intrigued, though," Emily replied as the kids quieted down. "If you recall, they only left the room because we were making out. Since then we've re-watched the first and watched all the others."

"We like the original movies better than the prequels," Zach let him know.

"Yeah," Kate added. "I do like little Anakin, but I hate that he becomes Darth Vader. Too sad."

"Anakin and Dora," Carly added to the conversation.

"What about Anakin and Dora, mouse?" Emily asked.

Carly shrugged and giggled softly.

Her laugh made Derek smile. "You guys have good taste," he told the kids while eyeing Emily again. "You've turned them into sci-fi nerds."

"I know. Isn't it great?" she winked playfully.

His brief bout of laughter filled the SUV as he slowed to make a turn. "You certainly seem to be in a much better mood than when I last left you," Derek noted, still feeling bad for having to leave the night of Zach's birthday after only about a day of being home. "You got some cute young guy on the side I don't know about?" he teased.

"Actually, I do," Emily retorted. "He's a lot shorter than you and darker, rather furry and never leaves me alone for very long when he goes out hunting mice."

He groaned, realizing she was referring to her cat, "Very funny, Em."

"Why does Charlie get to come with us and not Sergio?" Kate asked as she let her bare feet pet the dog that was curled up bellow her. The rest of the SUV was packed to the gills with camping equipment, portable stove, tent, folding chairs, pillows and a decent amount of clothing. The kids were packed in, sleeping bags around them, Carly's feet resting on a cooler. And the back section had enough granola bars, juice boxes and other not-so-perishable food to hopefully last five people for four days and nights.

"Well, butterfly," it was Derek who responded. "Dogs are a lot better at following orders and walking on leashes. Cats are just, well… they're sort of," he stopped himself from saying the word useless. It was clear that all three females in the SUV adored Sergio, especially Emily and Carly. "They just like to do their own thing."

"Sergio will be fine, sweetie," Emily added some reassurance. "Garcia has taken care of him before."

Derek initiated a monotonous game of 'I Spy' that lasted most of the rest of their drive, spotting mainly trees and clouds. They entered the park at six o'clock with rumbly tummies. Zach and Kate did their best to help Derek put the tent up and lay out air mattresses and sleeping bags. The tent was huge with two rooms and interior standing height. Emily got a small fire going and opened some hotdogs for roasting. Carly sat on a patch of grass facing the river and seemed mesmerized by the flood of nature surrounding her.

"I can have a hotdog?" Kate asked as they all settled down at the picnic table for dinner.

"Sure," Emily nodded. "Sometimes on special occasions you can have special not-so-good-for-you food. Although, these are kinda healthy hotdogs," she noted. "And I even think we have the makings for some S'Mores later, which are not at all healthy."

"What's a S'More?" Kate asked.

Zach stared at the girl beside him for a moment. He figured maybe Carly wouldn't know what S'Mores were, but not Kate. "You've never had a S'More?" he asked before thinking. "I went to fifth grade camp one summer and that was the first time I had them," he realized. "You'll like them, trust me."

The girl looked to Emily again. "Can I have one of those?"

"Yes, you may," Emily agreed.

Kate paled a little as she stared at her food. Then she bravely asked, "Why are you letting me eat bad stuff? Am I dying?"

"No, Kate, no…" Emily was quick to assuage her worries. "This is a very special occasion and I think we should tell you why now." She eyed Derek and watched him nod his agreement as he chewed a bite of potato salad. "We actually need to talk to you about what happened at Dr. Bauer's office today. Have you been curious about that?"

Kate nodded. "I figured you'd tell me when I needed to know," she said.

Emily reached across the table and held the girl's hand. "Well, you're not dying, sweetie. Dr. Bauer has scheduled you for surgery in two months."

"They found Kate a new heart? Why would it take two months?" Zach asked as he slipped a bare hotdog beneath the table for Charlie.

"She doesn't need a new heart," Derek revealed. "Dr. Bauer is going to fix hers. Then she'll be able to live her life and do whatever she wants to do, even become a famous pilot if she chooses."

"Really?" Kate's eyes were widened by the hopeful prospect. "I'm not going to die?" she asked again.

"There's a one hundred percent chance that we'll all die someday," Zach pointed out.

Emily glared at the boy. "Thank you so much for that statistic. Did you and Dr. Reid chat at your birthday party?"

Zach nodded. "He's cool."

"Anyhow," Emily shook her head. "You're not going to die just yet, Kate," she assured the girl, "Hopefully not for a long time."

"But why didn't the other doctors fix me?" the girl wondered.

With just a quick look, Derek and Emily realized the girl needed to know the truth. They explained it all in the best terms they could to the kids and let them contemplate the rather unpleasant news for themselves. "Are those bastards going to jail for what they did to Kate?" Zach asked.

"Zachary, watch it," Emily scolded the teenager.

"Well, they are, aren't they?" he persisted with a cooler head.

Morgan found it difficult to correct the boy when he'd been thinking the same thing all afternoon and into the evening. "What they did is unethical and inhuman," he said. "But name calling is not a level we're going to stoop to here, okay? I don't want to hear that language from you again. Understood?"

"Yes, sir," Zach nodded.

"There's a lawsuit against them," Emily went on to explain more - at least as much as she knew. The two older kids ate quietly for a moment, the good news somewhat hampered by the bad. It was Carly who seemed completely oblivious to the whole moment as she jumped up from her spot at the picnic table and darted off after some sort of winged creature that flew circles around the table. Her carefree spirit helped them all settle down some.

xxx

The placid babble of the lazy river echoed through the park as Emily and Derek sat on the shore.

All three kids and Charlie were asleep in the tent several yards behind them. Emily reclined between Derek's legs as he rested his back against a sturdy tree. He dropped his chin against her shoulder and whispered in her ear. "How you doing?" he asked. "You're kinda quiet tonight."

"Long day," she replied. "Good news, bad news, traveling with kids…"

"And too many hotdogs and S'Mores in your belly," he gently rubbed a hand over the blue t-shirt covering her stomach. "I think you've gained a few pounds lately," Derek noticed. "Not sure it's just from the meal tonight, though," he whispered softly.

"That is seriously not something you tease a woman about," Emily shoved his hand away.

He returned his hand and added the second. "I wasn't teasing you, Emily. A lot of women gain a little weight when they're happy, when they're settled," he shrugged. "I have no problem with it," Derek assured her. A long silence stretched outward as crickets chirped nearby. "You already know you're pregnant, don't you?" he finally asked.

Her whole body stiffened for a moment before she turned her head to face him. "Yes, but… how did you…"

"Educated guess," Morgan kissed her cheek upon the confirmation. She lay against his left side, eyes still aimed questioningly at him. "I know your body, your temperament," he insisted. "But what I don't know is if you were planning to fill me in at some point?"

She sighed, relieved to have it out in the open even though it wasn't exactly how she imagined the conversation starting. "Well," Emily rushed toward her comfort zone. "I figured when I went into labor I'd probably have to fess up," she quipped.

"Emily, this isn't funny," his gaze remained serious. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I…" she sighed. "I…" Emily searched for a valid reason but they all seemed lame. "After that rainy night in March I thought we'd decided having a baby wasn't right for us."

Morgan stroked her slightly expanded belly again. "But a lot has changed since then. You went off your birth control, which was a mutual decision. And we have three kids now."

"Yeah, I know. And I promised that three was the limit," she hesitated, "Somehow I completely forgot that we'd decided I'd go off birth control and let nature take its course. I guess Zach, Carly and Kate have kept me too busy to think about it. And when we had that fight on Friday I thought it was probably just hormonal. Then I realized I hadn't had a period in a few months. Then I thought maybe coming off the birth control had my body a little confused. Then I decided to buy a home test the morning I went to get frosting for Zach's cake."

"And you found out it was hormones after all," he realized. "Just not the ones you'd been thinking of originally."

"Yeah," Emily breathed out. "I wanted to take the test with you there after the kids went to bed, but then…"

"I had a case," he supplied. "And you didn't want to distract me," Derek concluded.

Emily nodded, allowing her hand to rest against his atop her stomach. "If you suspected, why didn't you say anything until now?" she asked.

"I thought you'd tell me when you were ready. And I also thought maybe you were exploring other options," Derek delicately added.

She felt his hand press a little harder against hers. "When I was very young, there was an occasion when I took one of those other options," Emily replied. "It was the right thing for me then, but not now. I want this baby, as crazy as that might seem. Five months ago I came to you with this bizarre baby pact idea and you kind of shot me down, and I sorta talked myself out of it… but I think this is the universe telling us different. Or else playing a cruel joke on us," she chuckled nervously. "Are you upset?"

"No. Surprised, but not upset," he assured her.

Her body relaxed considerably. "So what should we do?"

"Buy a bigger house," he shrugged.

"I'm serious," Emily didn't laugh. "We're talking about four kids, Derek. You're hardly ever around and I'm really not sure if I can do it on my own."

He held her a little closer, kissing her neck. "I know you have a ton of concerns, so do I. But for now let's not worry too much. We have months to plan. And we're meant to be relaxing at the moment." Derek massaged her shoulders as he aimed her eyes toward the darkening sky. "The stars are so clear here," he remarked.

"It's beautiful," Emily intoned even as she closed her eyes and enjoyed the gentleness of his touch.

His hands eventually found their way back to her belly, enthralled by the prospect of their child growing inside her. "We haven't had sex much lately. You sure it's my baby?"

Her eyes opened just long enough to roll at his comment. "I'm thirteen weeks pregnant, butthead."

"Whoa, thirteen? Really?" Derek seemed most surprised by that fact. "That's over three months. We were still having sex regularly back then. I guess that means I stand a pretty good chance of being the baby daddy after all," he teased.

"I'm going to hit you," Emily sighed.

Derek chuckled. "So violent, must be those nasty pregnancy hormones I've heard about. Not a very nice way to treat the father of your children," he kept up the teasing. But he could see she wasn't laughing. "What's up?"

"Nothing," Emily replied as the warm summer night surrounded them. "You just said children, plural," she pointed out.

He shrugged. "Yeah… well, what are Zack, Kate and Carly? Our pet rocks?"

"No, it's just nice to hear you call them your children," she said. "I don't think you have before."

"Our children," he corrected. "And I'm sure I must have said it before. I've certainly felt that way," Derek asserted. Quiet settled in again for a moment as they watched the stars grow brighter against the deepening blackness of the night sky. "Thirteen weeks," he repeated with surprise still evident in his tone. "Have you been sick or…"

Her head shook against his shoulder. "Nope, just tired and cranky," Emily said. "Apparently not all women get morning sickness. Lucky me."

"You know," Derek spoke again. "We could put a crib in the laundry room."

"Oh, no," Emily instantly thwarted the idea. "That's _our_ room."

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


	54. Forgiveness

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

**Work and family stuff have been very busy for me lately, sorry for the lack of updates. Thank you for reading!**

* * *

><p><strong>Forgiveness<strong>

By  
>N. J. Borba<p>

* * *

><p>She felt Derek squeeze her hand as they faced the young man with a gun aimed at them.<p>

He was the teenaged son of Edward Ziven; a man who'd been one of the nastiest criminals they'd ever taken down.

Emily wanted to kick herself for jinxing them earlier, the way she'd so casually stated that their lives weren't in danger. It seemed, no matter how hard she tried, she always drew danger in close. Even inside Marta's quiet, soothing hideaway. It was a place Emily had come to cherish the last few months. All of its white wood, shutters, thatched roofing and sparkling clean windows that revealed views of the purest green rolling hills. An oasis. A retreat.

The serene setting always helped Emily relax when she visited.

Now she tried to draw on that same power, to remain calm in the face of danger. Derek was right – there would be no backing out now.

By his actions and his words, she knew Derek was worried this event in their lives would send her spiraling back into her desire to keep him at a distance. But that original attempt hadn't worked out so well. And their current predicament actually made her realize that she'd rather face death with Derek at her side than have to face a lifetime without him. Nara was her biggest concern at the moment. Not being able to save Laren would be nothing compared to losing her daughter.

With the little girl's safety in the balance, Emily made her move.

"Grant, I can't imagine what you're feeling right now," she began. "But I don't think you want to hurt us," Emily ventured. "And I hope…"

"I don't want to hurt you," the boy cut her off, affirming her insight. "Is that what you thought?"

"Kind of hard not to when you've got a gun on us," Derek spoke up again. But even as the words escaped his lips he could see a difference in the boy's eyes. Not as dangerous as they'd first seemed. More sad than anything. And also filled with what Derek could only guess to be remorse.

The boy immediately lowered the gun a little as he strained to see behind Derek. "Is that her?"

Morgan's eyes narrowed, confused by the boy's sudden shift in demeanor. "You already identified Emily," he cautiously pointed out, still doing his best to block Emily and Nara.

"No, not Emily. I meant the baby," Grant responded as he took a small step to his left to gain a better look at the little girl in Emily's secure hold. "Is she my father's other child, his daughter?" he asked, following his instinct. "I don't know her name, but she has my dad's eyes. Same as my eyes," the boy hesitated a moment. "I know he was in a relationship with some woman other than my mother. I'm pretty sure she was the one I heard about that died in Russia. And her daughter… that's her, right?"

With her heart beating a little swifter, Emily stepped out from behind Derek's protective stance. "Yes."

"So she's my sister?" Grant sought further verification.

"Look, youngster," Derek eased slowly toward the boy. "Why don't you hand over that gun there and we can all talk about this?" he suggested.

The boy tensed up again. "No, I can't… I need it," he eyed Emily, knowing she was his best chance at an honest answer. "She's my sister?"

"Yes," Emily confirmed, seeing that the boy needed the truth more than anything at the moment. "Her name is Nara," she further hoped to put the boy at ease. "If you do as Derek mentioned and put the gun down, you and Nara can talk," she suggested. "Well, she doesn't say much yet, but she loves blocks. We could find her blocks so the two of you could…"

"No," Grant's head shook unwaveringly. "I don't want to know her any more than this. I just… I came here to see her once before I… she's little enough she won't remember me being here, right?" he asked. "She won't remember anything that happens here today, will she?"

His words caused alarms to go off in Emily's head. "No, Grant," she deliberately used his name to appeal to him on a personal level. "I don't think she'll remember any of this. But you obviously came here to meet her, so maybe you can see her again someday. We could arrange something like that. The more she gets to know you the more chance she'll remember you. And she'll want to get to know her big brother."

"No," the boy was adamant again as he gripped the gun tighter. "She doesn't need to know me. And I don't want her to remember me. I just came here to apologize to her."

Derek and Emily exchanged a look that let them both know those words were not what they'd been expecting. "Grant, why do you need to apologize?" Morgan asked.

He moved back to the door and leaned heavily against it. "My father did horrible things," Grant expelled the words as if they were his greatest burden. "I loved him; I wanted to be just like him. Strong and successful. But ever since he died I realized what a bad person he was. I found out how he made his money – the things he did to people," the boy sagged. "I came here because I want Nara to know I'm sorry he hurt her mom."

Emily thought her heart might break as she listened to the boy's outpour. "The things your father did are not your responsibility, Grant," she tried to assure him.

"She's right," Derek added, suddenly feeling a kinship with the kid. He'd just explained to Emily how he'd vowed to be like his father out of respect, out of a sense of duty. He understood that most sons felt that same duty to their fathers, whether they'd done good or bad things in their lives. "You're not your father, Grant."

"But I could be some day," the boy maintained. He looked Emily in the eye. "I'm sorry if I scared you. My father left us a lot of money and it really wasn't that hard to find you," he explained. "I'm good on the internet. I know where you live and I followed you here this weekend. I want to ask your forgiveness for what my dad did. When you forgive me I plan to kill myself. I don't want to risk being like my father."

Those words did break her heart.

"Listen to me, Grant," Emily pleaded. "As noble as you are, seeking our forgiveness, you're not the one who needs it. You don't have to be like your father. By telling us you're worried…" she sighed, patting Nara on the back. "That shows us that you already know you don't want to end up the way he did. You just need some help. Will you let us help you?"

"Why would you do that?" Grant held the gun higher, edging toward his temple. "I came here with a gun, endangering you and Nara."

The girl fussed a bit at the mention of her name. Emily kissed her chubby cheek and bounced her gently. "Grant isn't going to hurt us," she spoke softly to the girl before directing her concern to the boy again. "How would you feel if Nara found out about this someday?" she tried another tactic. "What if she found a news article, say in twelve years from now. How do you think she'd feel knowing you killed yourself in a room with her when she was just a baby?"

"I…" the boy began to shake.

Emily feared her words had been too harsh, but it seemed the boy needed a reality check. "She might feel guilty, Grant. Maybe she'd wish she could've done something to save her brother's life. Maybe she'd lament the fact she never got a chance to know you. Or maybe she'd feel responsible. Maybe she'd want to end her life out of a misguided sense of duty to your memory, just like you're doing now in regard to your father."

Grant struggled with that for a moment, but the gun slipped a little to his side. "I never thought about that."

Seeing she'd made a dent, Emily attempted to make the hole bigger. "What's your mother's phone number, Grant? Derek can call her up right now so she can come pick you up," she offered. "I'm sure she's worried about you," Emily made her appeal. "She can come get you and we can forget any of this ever happened."

"I didn't leave a note, and I left my cell phone behind," the boy lowered the gun some more. "She probably thinks something bad happened to me."

"It's okay," Emily assured him. "She'll be upset for a while, but I think she'll forgive you. I'm sure right now she just wants to know you're safe. So why don't you give Derek the gun and we'll call her. And while we wait you and Nara can get to know each other like I mentioned earlier. How does that plan sound to you?"

He shrugged. "I guess that would be okay," Grant agreed.

Derek knew the kid was still in a delicate state of mind. He remained cautious as he approached Grant, but the boy was true to his word. The gun was let go easily and Derek immediately checked it. He unloaded the weapon and breathed a sigh of relief that things had gone so well. When he locked eyes with Emily he knew the swift end to their ordeal had been in large part due to her patients and kindness while dealing with the teenager. His admiration of her seemed to have no end.

"Are you going to call the police?" the boy wondered as he was directed by Emily to take a seat at the table.

"No. Just your mom," Emily replied as she pushed her plate of scones toward him. "Eat something for me, okay," she encouraged, knowing the shock of the ordeal had probably caused low blood sugar. With Nara still snug in her arms she moved toward Derek, keeping a close eye on Grant. "Why don't you call his mom and then you can shower while I watch him," she suggested. "Then you can watch him while I shower."

Morgan nodded in agreement to her simple plan. Then he wrapped his arms around her and sighed, kissing her before doing anything else. "Love you," he whispered.

"Love you, too," she smiled against his shoulder. Nara squirmed as the two of them pulled apart. Emily readjusted the girl's weight in her arms, not wanting to let her down or out of her sight just yet. "Take that with you, will you?" Emily pointed at the gun in his hand.

"In the shower?" Derek questioned.

She shrugged. "Whatever works for you," Emily winked.

Her ability to joke after such an intense moment reaffirmed his love for her. "Woman, you really don't know how much I've missed you," he concluded.

xxx

Emily greeted the disheveled woman outside the Inn's main entrance.

"Where's Grant? Where is my son?" his mother was slight and friendly looking, but worry marred and creased her brow as she practically leapt up the porch stairs.

"Mrs. Ziven," Emily experienced an irrational bout of disgust speaking that name. "I understand you want to see Grant right now, but I'd like to talk to you for a minute, alone," she guided the woman inside and then immediately toward a sitting room off to the left of the main entrance. She and Derek had informed Marta of what was going on and the graciously understanding Inn keeper had made sure to clear the room for Emily to talk to the boy's mother.

"Harriet," the woman said. "Please, call me Harriet. I may still legally carry the Ziven name," she practically shuddered with disgust herself. "But I plan to change that very soon."

Emily nodded. "Harriet, I want you to know that your son is okay," she implored the woman to have a seat near the window before joining her. "Grant is with my fiancé, Derek, at the moment. They're both playing with Nara."

"Nara," the woman spoke that name without question. "She's the baby, Grant's sister."

"She is," Emily answered. "You know about her as well?"

"Edward told me," Harriet revealed. "Those last few months before he finally moved out were horrible, but at least he started being honest with me. He told me about the other woman. He mentioned the baby. I suppose Grant must have overheard our conversation," she realized. "I wanted to despise them, the woman and child. But by then I knew it was Edward who deserved my loathing." Her head shook with regret that only came from hindsight.

"How can you love a man and not know his evil?" Harriet pondered. "Or know it and ignore it, think you can change it. Think love can better it?"

With a heavy heart, Emily sighed. "It happens more than you might think," she spoke from experience.

"What did Grant come here to do?" Harriet asked. "I…" she hesitated a moment. "I fear he brought a gun. Edward left so many at the house. I thought I'd found them all, but…"

It was clear she needed the whole truth and Emily gave her that. She relayed it all and sat with the woman as she shed tears of regret. "Grant will be okay," Emily reinforced. "I believe that. But he needs help, and more than just from you. He needs to speak with someone, a psychologist. His heart was in the right place by coming here, but some of his thoughts are conflicted. He's hurting and confused. We don't ever want him to try anything like this again, do we?"

Harriet smiled weakly, thankful for the kindness from a complete stranger. "No," she agreed.

"You'll need to be strong for him. Do you think you can do that?" Emily held the woman's hand and patted it reassuringly.

With a nod, Harriet swiped at her tears. "May I see him now?"

"Of course," Emily led her up to the room where she and Derek had spent the night. Derek was there with Marta and the children. Marta hovered close to Nara. Emily and Derek hung back, watching as Grant interacted with his baby sister. Harriet stuck to Emily as they all watched Grant help Nara build a tower of blocks. "I'm not sure if you'll be receptive to this idea or not," Emily spoke softly to Harriet. "But Marta has agreed to allow Grant to visit his sister. I think it would be good for both of them, if you're willing?"

"I could never lay blame on an innocent child," Harriet replied. "Grant should know his sister," she agreed.

The boy looked up to see his mother and he jumped to his feet. He hesitated for a moment before running into her waiting arms.

Emily breathed out, relieved to witness the happy reunion. Grant looked so much younger in his mother's arms. Like a little boy, not the young man who'd just tried to take his life. She felt Derek's presence behind her and sunk into his embrace, allowing his arms to snake around her waist from behind. Her head rested wearily against his sturdy shoulder. "Nice to know we still make a heck of a team," she whispered for his ears only.

"That we do," he agreed. "Though I think you took the lead on this one," Derek admired.

"When?" she asked.

He eyed her curiously. "When did you take the lead?" Derek found it to be an odd question. "Well, I guess…"

"No," she turned to look at him and then glanced down at the ring on her left hand. "When can we get married?"

His answer was swift, "As soon as you want."

"Very soon," Emily assured him. "We just need to decide where?"

Morgan shrugged as she turned around and leaned against his chest again. He held her a little closer, his cheek pressed against hers. "Doesn't really matter, but maybe somewhere we've had only happy memories," he suggested. "That would be nice."

She chuckled softly. "Yeah, except that pretty much rules out everywhere we've ever been together." Emily delighted in the way his warm breath blew gently against her shoulder. It was pretty pathetic how in love she was with him. And it still scared her to think something could happen to him; that she might lose him. But she did her best not to let those thoughts cause her to freeze up again. As his hand rested against hers, softly pressed against the ring he'd given her, Emily realized something.

"There is one place…"

xxx

A bird chirped happily outside as Emily stood inside by the mirror, surrounded by most of the important women in her life.

The room was the same one Marta always leant her when she visited, and would never take a single bit of money for. The same room she and Derek had made love in for the first time after their engagement. It was also the room where Grant Ziven's life had nearly ended, but instead had changed for the better. The white wood seemed to sparkle brighter than usual as rays of early spring sunshine drifted through the white, gauzy curtains. That sunlight erased most of the bad memories. But it was not the spot she would soon be married.

"You look gorgeous," JJ said as she admired Emily's silky, pale blue dress.

"Exquisite," Sarah beamed.

"So pretty," Elya excitedly added as she cuddled Sergio in her arms.

"Positively radiant," Garcia noted cheerfully.

"Beautiful," Tasha smiled.

"Em, Em, Em…" Nara chattered as she toddled about the room.

"Stunning," Desiree added.

"Very impressive," Molly grinned.

"Lovely," Fran concluded.

Emily marveled again at the gathering of her favorite women, all strong and beautiful in their own right. Her wedding gown swishing a little as she turned back and forth in front of them. The top half hugged her closely. The bottom flared ever so slightly and hit the floor, even with her heels on. "I think you all may be laying it on a bit thick, but thank you," she smiled, feeling a little self-conscious but fortunate to have them all there. She found she'd been smiling like a fool rather more often the last three weeks.

Three weeks was the time frame they'd decided on.

In that time Derek had stayed with her for a week before heading back to DC to pack his things and make arrangements for a few of his properties. He'd returned to London with a small load of boxes, mostly clothes and books that they'd easily worked into her flat; the flat they both now referred to as home. "I debated for days about the color, but I fell in love with it instantly," Emily recalled. "And I didn't want my doubts to be the something blue at my wedding, so I made it the dress."

"Doubts are okay," JJ assured her. "They can be healthy."

"Agreed," Tasha said. She put her hands over Elya's ears. "I had plenty the day I married Elya's father..." she paused. "But maybe that's not the best example," Tasha realized.

Fran placed a comforting hand against Tasha's shoulder. The whole gang of them had grown closer over the two days they'd spent at Marta's Inn preparing for the big event. "I had a whole stomach filled with doubts the day I married Shawn," Fran revealed. "It's completely natural." She moved to where Emily was standing and smiled at the younger woman who was about to become her daughter-in-law. Fran took her hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

Quietly, the rest of the women and girls slipped out of the room.

"Fran, I…" Emily swallowed a small lump in her throat. "I haven't had a chance these last few days to apologize," she began. "No, that's not true. I have had chances, I've just been a bit of a scared-y cat," Emily admitted. "But I want you to know how sorry I am for the way I ran off after Christmas without a word of goodbye to you or..."

"You're forgiven," Fran instantly replied.

Emily bit her lip. "Just like that?"

With a nod, Fran agreed, "Just like that." But she could see the worry still clouding Emily's eyes. "I know you told Derek the truth that night before you left. Even if it wasn't the truth he wanted to hear. That's what matters." The woman smiled, sensing Emily needed a bit more from her. "I forgive you," Fran said. But with a stern face she added, "Of course, if you ever hurt my son like that again I will be the one to hunt you down."

"I believe you," Emily cracked a smile as she hugged the woman. "I love you so much, Fran. I hope that's okay."

"Of course that's okay," Fran whispered lovingly. She spotted a figure in the doorway and kept Emily close for a moment. "You know your mother loves you very much as well. She paid for all of us to be here today. Sarah, Desiree and I could not have afforded it otherwise." With a quick kiss to her cheek, Fran pulled away and turned Emily toward the door. Seeing the look on the two women's faces let her know they needed some privacy so she slipped out silently.

"Mother," Emily breathed out. "I wasn't sure if you'd be here."

"Where else would I be?" Liz said as she took a few steps into the room and regarded her daughter's pale blue dress. "Not very traditional," she noted. A second passed before she locked eyes with Emily and smiled. "I'd expect nothing less from you."

Emily took that as a compliment, whether it had been meant as such or not. "Thank you," she responded to what Fran had just told her, "Making it possible for everyone to be here today… I know that must have cost a small fortune with airfare and…"

"Please," Liz held a hand up as she interrupted her daughter. "Money isn't important, family is," the woman insisted. "This is my wedding gift to you and Derek. We've had our differences throughout the years, but I've only ever wanted you to be happy, Emily. I see that Derek makes you happy."

A satisfied smile upturned Emily's lips. It was as close as they'd come in a long time to an understanding. "And daddy?"

Liz shook her head. "I'm sorry, he couldn't make it," she revealed. "You know he…"

"I know…" Emily stopped her and sighed heavily. "I know he's not here and you are," she bravely continued. "I know you spent a lot of money for everyone to be here. I know you tracked me down in a remote village in Russia when I needed your help, your resources. I know that even when you're completely frustrated by my actions you try and understand me, and he… he never tries. I know everything I need to know," Emily concluded as she surprised her mother by pulling her in to a hug.

Emily held her mother until Liz's stiff body relaxed a little. When she pulled out of the embrace, Emily wondered if she might ask one more thing of the woman. "Marta lets me stay here a lot and she always gives me the best room she has available and never allows me to pay her," she relayed to her mother. "I was wondering if maybe you could give her some money for me and I'll pay you back," she proposed. "I figure she'd be more likely to take it from you."

"I'll make sure she takes payment for all of this, but it's my treat," Liz insisted.

With a smile, Emily nodded. "Will you do me one more favor?" she ventured. "Walk with me?"

"Certainly. We wouldn't want to start being traditional now, would we," the ambassador amicably agreed.

xxx

"You certainly clean up nicely," Rossi teased.

Derek chuckled as he stood among his guy friends, young and old, all of them considered family. They'd been allocated a large room on the ground floor of the Inn for their preparations. Having opted for slightly casual attire, Morgan wore a navy blue button shirt tucked into black slacks. No tie or jacket. "Any advice from the married men in the room?" he asked good-naturedly, looking to his brother-in-law, Nathan, and Will. "Perhaps advice for how to _stay_ married?"

"Not our expertise," Hotch replied, clapping Rossi on the shoulder.

"In my defense," Dave jumped in, "One of them was not my fault."

"A lot of successful marriages have been associated with higher age and higher education," Reid informed the group.

Easter entered the room at that particular moment. "Am I interrupting?"

"Yes," Morgan replied gratefully. "And thank you from saving us from what was sure to turn into a percentage and statistics lesson."

Spencer frowned. "I was just trying to say that you and Emily stand a good chance of a long union."

Morgan smiled and apologized to his best man, "Sorry, Reid. I appreciate the sentiment."

Hotch shook Easter's hand in a show of there being no hard feelings over how things had gone down between them nearly two years ago. "I do hope you're all done poaching my profilers," he commented with a not-so-serious tone.

"No promises," Clyde replied. "I have had my eye set on agent Jareau. I find her particular combination of profiler and Defense Department liaison skills to be quite tempting."

"That's my wife you're talking about there," Will drawled, "She's not going anywhere."

"It was a joke," Easter assured them all with his hands held aloft. "I do occasionally have a sense of humor."

They all laughed when it was JJ who stuck her head inside the room a moment later. JJ eyed them suspiciously for a second, "We're ready when you are," she finally let them know.

"I guess that means we have to get down there first," Derek realized, slightly nervous for the first time as he directed the others out of the room.

Within twenty minutes everyone was gathered by the river. They stood, informally, along the grassy bank in pretty much the exact spot where Derek had proposed to Emily. There was no bride or groom family separation. Will stood close to Fran, Sarah and Nathan. Hotch and Rossi bunched together with Desiree, Garcia, Marta and Nara. Molly's mother lumped herself with Easter, Tasha and Sophie. Even young Grant and his mother were present for the Monday afternoon wedding.

Derek stood closest to the river with Reid slightly to his right. They waited patiently as the ceremony began.

No music played, but a slight breeze blew off the water as the kids arrived.

Jack and Henry started the procession, cheery smiles on their faces. Molly followed after them holding fast to Nara's little hand. Shawn walked with his little brother Marcus who toddled along to keep up. Boys and girls alike dropped flower pedals along the grassy path. Elya was the last, her face aglow with pride as she carried an amazingly mellow Sergio. The kids scattered to stand with their respected parents as JJ glided down the makeshift aisle with a small bunch of wildflowers in hand. She took a step to her left and waited for the bride.

Blue sky reflected the shade of Emily's dress as she approached with her mother.

Emily gripped Liz's left hand tightly while a bouquet of Scottish bluebell and primrose resided in her other hand. She hadn't thought out the impracticality of heels and the landscape ahead of time and had ditched her shoes half-way to the river. That lost height caused the dress to bunch at her feet, almost making her look as if she were walking among the gentle crests of ocean waves. Liz kissed Emily's cheek and melted into the group behind her, standing beside Fran.

"Are you ready for this?" Derek asked as he took Emily's hand.

"Yep," Emily bit her lip and leaned toward him a little, whispering, "Are you as freaked as I am?"

"Now that we're here…" he glanced around and nodded. "Terrified, but mostly thrilled," Derek lovingly added, "Are we really doing this on April Fool's Day?"

She shrugged and smiled, "Figured it'd be a good way to always remember our anniversary."

They held hands through the humble beginnings of the officiant's ceremony. They spoke simple vows, but made the more difficult ones in their hearts. They watched as Elya untied the blue satin ribbon around Sergio's neck where two wedding bands dangled. They placed those rings on each other's fingers and again made promises they knew would take not only love, but hard work, to keep. They kissed under the blue sky, by the river, surrounded by their loved ones.

They knew in their hearts they would not be parted, even upon death.

xxx

Cool wind swirled around them as it swept down the hillside.

"So," Derek hiked close behind her. "This is your idea of a romantic getaway?" he almost chuckled but the cold air caught in his throat and he shivered.

Emily turned her head and glanced over her shoulder at him. She smiled softly and resumed her hike along the slightly sloping hillside. They'd parked their rental car within the property lines, but the last half mile to the cabin was only accessible on foot. It had been that way for as long as she could remember; a preservation measure. "I told you it was a very remote location," Emily replied. "I offered up Hawaii or the Italian countryside and you said…"

"Yeah, yeah," he stopped her before she could remind him. "I know, I said I wanted our honeymoon to be somewhere away from everyone else in the world so we could be alone. Didn't quite think we'd find a place like that, though. But leave it to you, smarty pants," he teased, playfully swatting her backside.

She was still laughing as the cabin finally came in to view. Emily paused for a moment and regarded it. The place was a simple wood A-frame structure with a gable roof that hit the ground on both sides. Good for the kind of snowfall that could occur in the area. The view behind the cabin was breathtaking - a rich blue sky with the taller French Alp spires sprouting up all around them. Derek stopped beside her and wrapped his arms about her waist. "This is breathtaking," he whispered in awe, admiring the serene landscape.

"I can't believe this cabin is still here," Emily was surprised that her mother had given her and Derek the place as a wedding gift, another gift on top of her generous one of flying everyone to their wedding. "I didn't even know mother had held on to it and the land," she sighed, recalling her fond memories of time spent there with her grandfather when she'd been so much younger. "I honestly figured she'd sold it years ago after granddad died."

Within three minutes their extremities began to grow chilly and Emily eased open the cabin door. She was impressed by how well preserved the inside was. It was in great condition, obviously having been well looked after. Clean and tidy, no dust or cobwebs. They found food in the cupboards and even a small fridge. Emily fiddled with the sink faucet, a new addition. She marveled at the running water that trickled forth. "Hot water," she smiled brightly at the prospect. "Obviously my mother made some improvements."

"Must have cost a small fortune considering the workers had to hike in, and where they hooked to a water source is anyone's guess," Morgan was impressed as he dropped his pack and settled right in. He flopped on a small, comfy loveseat in the open-plan cabin. "Perfect honeymoon spot," he declared.

"Oh, yeah?" Emily removed her pack and laid it by the door. She made her way to the loveseat and sat down on Derek's lap. "You didn't even carry me over the threshold."

He cringed for a second but covered quickly, "That's only for the home you share together."

"Hmm," she frowned for a moment, pretending to ponder the validity of his words. "You could be right," Emily gave in and kissed him. The union broke off far quicker than she had planned, but a door she didn't recognize had sparked her interest. The cabin consisted of one large room and a sleeping loft with a full staircase. There had never been any interior doors before. She stood and moved toward it, pushed it open and discovered something that made her knees weak. "No way."

Derek followed and found her seated on the side of a claw foot bathtub. "A bathroom," he noted.

"Not just a bathroom, Derek," she looked up at him. "This was never here before. There was always just the outhouse."

"Outhouse?" he was shocked. "You were seriously going to spend our honeymoon somewhere with only an outhouse?"

She shrugged. "I don't mind roughing it. But this is too good to be true," Emily turned the faucet nob and was once again amazed by the flow of hot water. "I could kiss my mother right now," she remarked excitedly. "She definitely made improvements to the place," Emily noted as she plugged the tub and joyfully began to fill it. "The most wonderful improvements," she let go a relaxed sigh and kicked off her shoes. "Are you planning to join me?" Emily held a hand to him.

"I don't take baths, at least not since I was five," Derek replied.

Her eyes narrowed a little. "So I'm about to strip down and recline, naked, in this tub full of hot water and you won't join me?"

"It's just not manly," he maintained.

"Interesting," Emily regarded him for a moment, trying to figure out if he was telling the truth or not. She opted for a slightly different plan of attack. "I recall someone being very intrigued when I mentioned having a date with a hot tub, once upon a time."

He grinned. "And I recall someone shooting me down without a chance," Derek reminded her. "Anyhow, hot tubs are different. They're manlier," he remarked.

She laughed loudly at that comment. "You're just making this stuff up aren't you?"

"Pretty much, yes. I'd love to join you in that tub," Derek agreed as he swiftly began the process of shedding his clothes. He was down to just a pair of bright red boxer briefs when he approached Emily. "I can't help notice you stopped with your shoes," his chest pressed against hers while his hands pushed the hair off her shoulders. "Maybe you were enjoying the floor show?" Derek asked as he leaned forward and gently caressed her neck with several kisses. "Need a little help?"

"I was admiring the view," Emily admitted as she licked her lips and nodded. "And I would very much like a little help, please."

Emily delighted in the way he very excitedly obliged her.

xxx

Their tub soak hadn't lasted very long before they'd consummated their marriage and christened nearly every corner of the cabin in the process.

The last of their love making spree had finally landed them upon the queen sized bed up in the loft. A large window across from the bed gave them a perfect view of the snow-capped Alps. And the fireplace downstairs was large enough to fill the entire cabin with cozy heat. They listened to the spark and crackle from the fire below as a gentle snowfall began outside. Derek thought he might not ever want to leave the sanctity of that bed, but he remembered the gift he'd brought along with him.

Pulling on a pair of sweats, he made a quick dash downstairs to grab their packs. He was back in bed with Emily minutes later, presenting a small box to her.

Emily smiled, "What have you done now?" she asked, unable to stop her curiosity as she pried open the box. Nestled inside she discovered her grandfather's Scrabble tiles, which seemed to be surrounded by a silver chain of some sort. As she pulled the chain free she realized the tiles were connected to it.

"I hope you don't mind that I had those small holes put in them," Derek wore a worried look for a moment as he watched her remove the item from the box.

She carefully inspected the object some more, impressed by the simple but solid craftsmanship. "These are the original tiles?" Emily asked, though she was fairly certain. His nod gave her confirmation as she held the item to him for help.

Derek clasped the bracelet around her wrist and looked to her for some sign that it was okay. "I had it made so the tiles dangle a little from the bracelet. They should be long enough for you to hold them in your hand but still be attached to your wrist," he pointed out. "I figure this way they're less likely to get lost." He turned them over for her. "I also had them engraved; G for Grace and H for Humor," Derek pointed out. "Two qualities I admire most about you, your grace under pressure and ability to find humor in most situations."

Doing her best to keep tears at bay, Emily smiled. "This is unbelievably thoughtful," she managed to say before kissing him.

"You like it?" he guessed.

"Yes, very much," she spoke emphatically, still captivated by the gorgeous way the tiles had been integrated into the bracelet setting. "I have something for you, too," Emily almost forgot. She reached for her bag and pulled out a long rectangular box. "Not wrapped," she said, "And not nearly as unique as your gift."

He grinned; amused to see it was a new Scrabble game. "This is great," Derek insisted.

"I don't know if we'll ever have kids or grandkids to pass it along to someday," she shrugged. "But I figured this cabin is ours now and it needed a new Scrabble game."

"I love it," Derek assured her. "And maybe the next time we're up here we can bring along that Sorry game you gave me for Christmas. We could even make it a tradition to play games when we're here at the cabin," he suggested.

She was touched by his apparent enthusiasm, and delighted by the prospect of creating new traditions with her husband. "I'd like that."

"Good, then shall we play now?" he asked, already laying out the board right there atop the bed.

They lounged for several hours on the bed with the Scrabble board between them, taking small breaks to eat and drink, stoke the fire, and occasionally gaze upon the snowy landscape outside their window. The words they made were long and short, silly and serious. And kisses were shared between some of the rounds. "Oh, now wait just a minute there," she said after he'd made a two letter word that sparked her interest. "I'd like to challenge this word," Emily smiled. "J-O, what the heck does that mean?" she joked.

He smiled and took one of her hands in his. "It's a term of endearment," Derek explained needlessly. "Chiefly Scottish, meaning sweetheart or dear."

Emily's cheerful smile grew as she let herself recall another Scrabble game they'd played. It seemed like such a long time ago, yet had been less than a year. So much had happened to them in that time. They'd forged a bond unbreakable by the grittiest criminals, the harshest climates and the deadliest self-doubts. "This is certainly a fitting end to the story of our romance. Married now and playing Scrabble again like that first time you visited me in London," Emily declared.

"Ending?" Derek's brow bunched as he shook his head. "Not a chance," he vowed, kissing her palm, "This is just the beginning, Jo."

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


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